Friday, September 2, 2011

BSNYC Friday Foot Quiz! (And Away-Going Announcement)

Monday, September 19th is a very special day. Why? Because that will be the date of my next blog post!

Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:

--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah

In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:


It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:

When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.

In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.

As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:

Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.

Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.

In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.


--Wildcat Rocking Chair


(You can't tell from the picture, but it's pretty wild.)





1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:






(Off to a foffing good start.)

2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.

--True
--False





“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."

3) Who said this?





4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:








5) Do police officers hate cyclists?

--Yes
--No




6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:






7) Hooray! It's ________:





***Special Health-Themed Bonus Question!***

In addition to exposing the dangers of excessive groin and ass use, this graphic also quantifies the importance of:



2,023 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   401 – 600 of 2023   Newer›   Newest»
streepo said...

You're welcome!

Nogocyclist said...

Thanks for the lead out steepo!

Buffalo Bill said...

Holy buffalo biscuits!
You folk are dedicated.

Is there a prime for 420th?

Gogulski said...

Well earned time bonuses, Nogo & streepo!

The Gangster of Love said...

Some people call me Maurice.

GhostOfTyrone said...

Too slow...

bikesgonewild said...

...godammit...my fingers got crossed up on the keyboard, i shifted into the wrong gear & i botched my sprint completely...

...it's getting late in the season & i hope this doesn't affect the team picking up my option for next year...

Mayor 'For Life' Bloomturd said...

In my city if you shoot your own self we send ya to jail. The lockup. Prison.

Doktor Ferarrarrie said...

-ATTENTION-

-ATTENTION-

Nogocyclist and steepo report immediately to the Tour day Snob medical tent and be prepared to pee pee in the jar.

bikesgonewild said...

...you know...it's only thursday the 15th & well, gosh, 500 & then 501 really aren't that far off, ya ???...

the pompous ass of love said...

People talk about me

say I'm doing you wrong

Guvna Perry said...

In my state
if you try to shoot yourself
and miss
we finish you off

Mr. Roboto said...

No problem.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

If we apply ourselves, we may even get to page four.

GhostOfTyrone said...

@ Mr. Roboto -


Himitsu wo shiritai

Mr. Roboto said...

Ghost of Tyrone,
domo arigatou.



Can't reveal my secret.

Nogocyclist said...

Doktor Ferarrarrie,

Sorry, I've got a TUE (on page 12)!

Kilroy said...

I'm Mr.Roboto!

So there.

Rocky Mountain Chuck said...

I am absolutely giddy at this altitude.

wishiwasmerckx said...

420? (snicker, snicker...) Hey, could you pass me the Doritos?

Midnight Toker said...

I sure don't want to hurt no one.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CrossVegas Cyclocross report:

The Europeans just toyed with the Americans, sitting in and letting the Americans spend themselves alternately trying to get away and chasing down the attacks, then springing forth at the end for the victory. 6' 6" Ryan Trebon probably did 70 % of the work himself. He is a BEAST.

A new trend I observed this year. About 10% of the field simply rode up the "staircase" portions of the course instead of dismounting and running. They all seemed to arrive at the top at about the same time.

It never ceases to amaze me how swiftly and gracefully they remount and clip in. After witnessing several hundred remounts, I can only remember one guy who missed his clip-in and had to put a foot down to keep his balance, The rest were up to speed in just a few revolutions of the cranks. Impressive.

Finally, would somebody who understands the sport better than me explain why so few competitors wear gloves? Tradition? On the road bike, I always understood that gloves were necessary so that in the event of a fall, you would not scrape the skin off of your palms. Without them, in the event of a crash...umm...how do I put this politely...you might not be able to "properly discipline Vito" for weeks...

Steve Miller said...

Somebody


get me a


cheeseburger

bikesgonewild said...

...i was introduced to steve miller backstage at a gig about 2 years ago ...

...it goes without sayin' that we're both "...livin' in the usa"...

...wishiwasmerckx...nice report on crossvegas cx...beyond that, i have nothing...

skink said...

bgw, I had a feeling you've made Steve Miller's
acquaintance!

"I want to fly
like an eagle
to the sea

fly like an eagle
let my spirit
set me free"

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

Time keeps on slippin'...

What if he never comes back?

Jean-Paul Sartre said...

Nothing.

Anonymous said...

BGW, you pot dealers really seem to get around in the Norcal music scene, no?

bikesgonewild said...

...si..i mean no !!!...truth is i haven't smoked the 'wednesday' in over 25 years...hand to the great lob...

...i do however have a buncha rock n' roll friends from years past & while 'the scene' is for 'the kids' these days, friends are friends no matter what their jobs...

...& steve miller was a straight up guy...we were just standing on the back of the stage during soundcheck, chatting about this n' that...music ???...ya, that happened & the miller band, the doobies & big brother played...nobody mailed it in...they all rocked...

...guaranteed...

GhostOfTyrone said...

@ Mr. Roboto,

We made you, damn it!

Oh, you will talk. Wait, wait. You're Kilroy.

Nope, still drawing a blank. Try this: Himitsu wo shiritai, s'il vous plait.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw...to keep all this rock n' roll stuff in perspective...

...i have a friend named bob who lives on a boat down in sausalito...bob pays the bills by pumping sewage out of other peoples boats & ol' bob is as cool as anybody i know...fact...

...just keepin' it real...

Mr. Roboto said...

Ghost of Tyrone,
je suis un...





...MONONOKE!

Je deteste...


STYX!!!

CaughtNapping said...

Wow, I'm in awe, kinda.

434

Moses Malone said...

My numbers are coming.
I'll probably be asleep
when that happens.

Remember me at
fo
fo
fo.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

I'm too lazy to check the archives, but I think we're getting into record territory; soon if not already.

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

Hey BGW: I had the honor of mucking stalls at Delaney's R&R Ranch in Tujunga along about 1976. The downside is I was just a clueless hitchhiker dude at the time and had no idea who those people were coming and going at MeeMaw's house. I figured D. was just a has-been sorta-famous rocker and he gave me a goat that slept in my (yes)trailer on the outskirts of the ranch. Fuck it all man. I actually lived at a pilgrimage once.

Skidd Marx said...

What in the he'll is this brown stripe doing in me undershorts?

oldnjokey said...

...so the second banana pulls himself out of the water and says, "hey, what do you think I am anyway, a TRANSISTOR RADIO!"


Just sayin,

wishiwasmerckx said...

BTW, we all make a living pumping somebody else's shit; it is just that some of us do it more literally and others more figuratively...

The Doobie Brothers played the halftime show at the Orange Bowl 2 years ago. In spite of their 70's ethos and their porn-star mustaches, they rocked the house...

Buffalo Bill said...

From the text of this cl ad, I can only presume someone wasn't happy with the performance of their helper monkey.

bikesgonewild said...

...shit...'delaney & bonnie & friends' (band name) were good enough in their day that a certain mr eric clapton, by way of london, england, spent some time playing with 'em...i met them when j.j.johnson was their lead guitar & my friend tommy, a local marin guy, was their roadie...

...backroom smoke-out before the gig - guitars, bass, handclap percussion, rockin' & rollin', laughing, tokin' & groovin' - simply magical fucking stuff...

...& me ???...i consider myself privileged to have been in a lotta backrooms doing that same thing with a lotta exceptional people playing a lotta exceptional music in amazingly intimate settings...all part of warming up before they went out to play for the house...

...i'm not tryin' to be a name dropper but believe me, i was invited into a lotta truly awesome musical settings throughout the years...at the time, it was all better than a kings ransom...

...& john mcfee of the doobies ???...i smoked a ton of pot & drank a shitload a' beers along with john & the guys from 'clover', before he was a ***rock n' roll star***...hell, huey lewis was a fucking roadie for clover, years before he hit it big...

...anyway, i never took it for granted but as a music fan, i got to appreciate the art from a perspective that a lotta folks never did or will...thank you jeebus...

GhostOfTyrone said...

@bgw -

Your aim is true.

@Mr. Roboto -

So, you don't want to come sail away with me?

Julius Erving said...

This one's for you Mo:

4 4 4

Mr.Roboto said...

Ghost of Tyrone,

I'd rather be
a blue collar man.

Anonymous said...

Yes, thank you Jeebus, thank you Lob.

GhostOfTyrone said...

@Mr Roboto,

You are such a renegade. So be it.

As they say in Cleveland:"From what Huey Lewis has seen, he believes the heart of rock and roll is still beating, right here in Cleveland. Smoke that, Miami."

Albert Camus said...

Hey! Jean-Paul,
We were right all along.
Everything becomes nothing.
But, dammit, I miss Simone.

Anonymous said...

FOUR
FOUR
EIGHTHst!!!

Lord of the Flies said...

HEY, we're out of frootluips, send that monkey to the store.

Joseph II said...

Too many ellipses my dear Mozart, too many ellipses.

Jean-Paul said...

Hey Albert, she's with me.
You always were such a dupe.

452

Press Secretary Vito said...

Snob was sighted in Switzerland at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). Appatently he finally amassed enough gelt to realize his time travel dreams. With the help of Dr. Michele Ferrari snob was able to juice himself, travel back in time and win every single BMX race he had ever entered as a young dude. He has reportedly purchased a SoHo loft in which he will display his coveted BMX trophy collection. In future if you run into Snob kindly refer to him as 'BMX Merckx'

Anonymous said...

Snob is in Utah prepping for his new gig as full time blogerator for the new Real Competitive Cyclist team.

Werewolves of London said...

Snob was spotted drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vics. His hair was perfect...

Albert Camus said...

Merde!

Merde!

Merde!

Chebo said...

What if Snob

was one of us?

Just a stranger

on a blog.

outforaride said...

I just saw Snob on a bench in the park. It was kinda strange...he was wearing an old t-shirt that he had Sharpied "you'll miss Me when I'm gone" onto. The Big Dummy was nowhere in sight, but the Snoblet was playing happily at his feet. I approached to say hello but when he realized what was happening he said, "Aw, fuck" and motioned me away...

bikesgonewild said...

...ghostoftyrone...well played, erudite sir !!!...

...most will not have a clue but yes, declan macmanus knew who should help back him on that first album...

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford went to Europe, Colorado, California, Wisconsin, Iowa, Texas and points in between and posts twice a day to his blog, with photos.

Marcel Da Chump said...

" (The Angels Wanna Wear) My Red Shoes"



Have a great weekend all!

streepo said...

What's so funny (about peace, love and understanding)?

GhostOfTyrone said...

@bgw -

Of course, now I've got that album play-play-playin' in my head.

I'm not angry.

bikesgonewild said...

...streeps & ghost...

...and, AND, AND on top of that, the guy marries diana krall...fuck me...seems like he mastered both 'time & space'...

...now the angels wanna wear my red shoes...

...just sayin'...

Lee Ho Fook said...

You havee beef chow mein?

crosspalms said...

I'll be damned. I go on vacation and figure I'll catch up on 2 weeks worth of Snob when I get back and what happens? He goes on vacation too... Anyway, welcome back Frilly! Sorry about the bike. BGW, we met a barman in an Italian town called Ostuni who looked really grumpy till he heard we were from Chicago, and then we talked about bands till bedtime. He said he has 16,000 LPs!

Has anybody bought the duck a drink yet? Seems like it walked in the bar about 200 comments ago. And speaking of comments, you guys are ahhsome. 465? Amazing

ken e. said...

concurring on the awesomeness of everyone... wish I had a rock story to share, other than the usual "i was at that show"

PUNK ROCK
TCKT PILE

PawnShop said...

That's 16,000LPs Italian, which converts to something like 18 in American currency.

GhostOfTyrone said...

@bgw -

Do you suppose Diana Krall sits in her favourite chair very quiet and still?

You know, she used to have a carefree mind of her
own, with devilish look in her eye.
Saying "You can call me anything you like, but my name is Diana Krall"

Anonymous said...

470 comments

Elvis Costello said...

Little old lady got mutilated late last night...Bikesnob's in London again

Anonymous said...

47toothst!!!

something is missing said...

hey, is this a quiz? don't we have a quiz? we had a quiz here. what will we do without a quiz? how has quizlessness been dealt with before? will the quiz be back? does the quiz realize there is no quiz? that there hasn't been a quiz in a fortnight?

fawk, i used "fortnight" in a sentence.

does it get any better? (bonus)

DO I HEAR 500?!

Davy Crockett said...

I saw Snobbie tracking the Lone Wuff...

:: :: :: :: (wuff tracks)

or is it the other way 'round?

bikesgonewild said...

...ghostoftyrone...

...va, va, va...damn...i'm trying to say veronica but it keeps coming out 'vagina'...

...i have it on my mind...ummm, the song...ahhh, veronica, i mean...

the Quizzard of Snob said...

Nobody beats the quiz.

Huret said...

Who has the hottest

podium girls?

Don't Give Me No Lips said...

_fleshy_ podium va

veronicas!

hey monkey! said...

what's the eta on those frootloops?

me again said...

FOUR
EIGHT
ZEROthst!!!

(i hear sprinters breathing down my wheel)

16bmxbike said...

If you’re like me and you don’t feel like dropping 0 on a Specialized or Trek bike for your 4 year old, then the Diamondback Viper is the perfect solution. You might be thinking, “Heck, I might as well buy an bike if I’m going to save money.” Big mistake. My in-laws ordered one of the cheap-os for my kid’s birthday. Total junk. Sent it back and upgraded to the Viper. It’s very solidly built and has quality components.

T. S. Douche'bag said...

There once was a girl named Veronica

Who played a most wicked harmonia

Veronica would squat

Place the harmonica in her twat

Then blow just like Lewinsky Monica

trainsformin said...

483

trainsformin said...

484

hopon said...

485

trainsformin said...

486

nothintosay said...

487

Anonymous said...

488

trainsformin said...

489....

Anonymous said...

490

stopsign said...

491!!

gettintired said...

492

pullpull said...

493

hopon said...

494

boringsat said...

495

sprinttothebench said...

496

gasp said...

497

fadinfast said...

498

Anonymous said...

499

Anonymous said...

and the winner is...

bikesgonewild said...

...holy shit !!!...

GhostOfTyrone said...

Hawaii five-oh something...

bikesgonewild said...

...well, 'holy shit !!!''s not the winner, i am but holy shit, i'm the winner !!!...

...does that make sense ???...

puller said...

You deserve it.

Gogulski said...

Amaaazing display of strength
and endurance.

skink said...

Sunicorn,
where have you been all my life?


Strangers in the blog

exchanging comments

laughing, ha ha ha...

Thong Police said...

AWESOME SNAPPER!

top ten-st!

wp said...

I was out of position with the train came by...

congratulations boys and gurls!

who is in for 6xx?! (st!)

Anonymous said...

509

counter

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

Is there enough left to make 600?

Jean-Paul Sartre said...

Simone is still as she was. Only less mobile. And wearing red shoes, baby wears red shoes.

Anonymous said...

512

Anonymous said...

513

Anonymous said...

514

Anonymous said...

515

oh the humanity said...

where's them frootLOOPS? monkey!!!

517 said...

this has to be the PBP of cycling blogger's commentariums.

now it's getting INTERESTING said...

oh yeah, we're going to six baby

i'm gittin' a twelvepack and a jar of peanut butter and

some

skittles

a big bag

of

skittles.

519 said...

top 520!

Cheach Chouche said...

520! Time for thursday weed

JDH said...

Fhat the wuck! It is COLD here on the Mississippi!

crosspalms said...

@pawnshop
Explains how he could fit them all in one of those little Euro-flats. Your aim is true...

Is the duck watching the detectives?

skink said...

suuuniiicorn

I know this world

is killing you

oh, suuunniicorn

my wheel is true

my wheel is true

my wheel is...true

bikesgonewild said...

...while yes, we are on an amazing record setting pace, i feel my podium win @ 501 isn't getting the recognition it deserves...

...where are the girls, the kisses, the flowers, the fotos, the interviews ???...

...have we become so jaded to feats of blogging prowess that the winner of such a hard fought battle can't bask in it's glow for at least a small measure of time before returning to the peleton to once fight again ???...

...sure, gogolski hauls out his standard 'blah, blah, blah' tripe & the usual "blither, blither, blither" (he's certainly no phil & paul) because he's secure with his signed contract but where is the real passion ???...

...i ask you, ladies & gentlemen of the peleton, past & future winners, leadout bloggers & even simple pack-fill...are we to lose our passion as we ascend to record setting heights ???...

podium girls said...

xoxo bgw, xoxo

bises

sugar

smooooooch

The Trashmen said...

PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PAPA OMAH MOU MOU PAPA OMAH MOU MOU MOU

bikesgonewild said...

...podium girls...well, thank you, you beauties...

...& whoa, i'm swelling with pride & i'm wearing lycra shorts...

...show & tell...

Hairy Handed Gent said...

I pawned my Smith Corona

recumbent naked theory said...

sometimes i lie awake at night wondering if vito, wrm's helper monkey, will ever return _with_ the frootluips and my change...but above that, above all of that i wonder, seriously wonder-in sober and not so sober states of mind-wonder if recumbabe looks good on an upright.

you know, from the _other_ angle and all.

playground taunt said...

600+ or

IMA FUKIN KILL U!

Anonymous said...

tag heuer timing sez: 531

wp said...

@ T.S. Douchebag wrt reeded musical instruments-just before the sprint got organized.

very nice.

is that original?

galeleo said...

super earth. i'm goin'.

looks like this one will get burnt down for the ins.

gotta match?

Cheech said...

hey man,

some fruitloops would be real good right now.

pinhead said...

YOU know there's only six of us doing all the work here.

535

flicks elbow said...

your pull

Family Guy said...

Conway Twitty

Larry David said...

Everything since Seinfeld sucks. I going to quit now. thanks

Harry Calahan said...

Recumbabe is the 44 magnum of 'bent bike riders.

Anonymous said...

five turdy NINEst!

Anonymous said...

whoopsie do that was 5forty.

this be five-forty-FIRSTst!

The Police said...

synchronicity dude.

and wear a helmet.

onemorefortheroad said...

539, night, night, quittin early

the poetry here is designed
to thrill ya
but,
one more
and,
I'M A F...

Chong said...

BUUUURRRRRPPP!!!

all night long said...

nice.

i'm in for the win! we've come too far

Cheech said...

maaaan,

that wasn't necessary maaan.

Skink said...

Sunicorn,
you blew up my manly inner tube
with your bicycle song on You Tube.
You made me horizontally stiff
and for you, my dear, I'm forever compliant.

Anonymous said...

torqued skink?

stay away from my recumbabe!

free range akkyhol said...

mmm who needs peat and charcoal?

HIC

Anonymous said...

like 55oh

Paul Reubens said...

Bruce Springsteen is fucking it up...

...he's fucking it up...

...he's fucking up the future of
rock and roll...

Anonymous said...

get off your green horse, we done ruined this planet.

55toothST!

Anonymous said...

five fitty tree ?

Anonymous said...

this is fukkin ridiculous

Sakes Alive said...

FIVE
FIVE
FIVEst!

Anonymous said...

shit

i'm

outta

beer

already

Pointless Pilot said...

DLVII

J. Dahmer said...

Years back I smoked a Doobie Brother. I think it was the original keyboard player. Roasted him in the oven. When he turned to dust I smushed him into my human skull bong and smoked him man! Best buzz I ever had.

I had Vietnamese that night and boy did I end up with a severe case of heart burn.

ken e. said...

just flipped on the doppler radar widget for an idea of the upcoming weather... and just before the deluge became apparent, a little rainy fuck-you finger image appeared on top of my hometown!

Doobie Sister said...

Gang Bong?

Anonymous said...

" 515 "

Why should I care?

hey nonny mouse

Petunia said...

Morning Glory

Al Bundy said...

Sex with my wife, what are you crazy?

Sal said...

extra cheese is two dollars

Winwood said...

Either light up

or leave me alone.

The Fifth Estate said...

FixitƩ!

Albert Camus said...

Hey, Jean-Paul.

your being turned to nothingness!

I'm the Stranger everyone knows.

How's that for existential irony!?

There will be a sprint said...

You know, I'm still chuckling about Snob's "Little Cippollini" comment a couple weeks ago.

A stranger said...

Hey Albertl, SĆøren and I are going for Sushi at five. Meet us there!

Just leave that damn horse at home this time!

Friedrich

Anonymous said...

Pack fill comment

570

Anonymous said...

Cat 6 comment

Anonymous said...

down a gear...572

a very minor poet said...

I'm in this to win
hope I don't blow it

573

tossin the bottles said...

574

more pack fill said...

575

lonely up here said...

576

BILF! said...

can I get up in dem gears?

Anonymous said...

578

heatin up said...

579

five eight oh said...

five eight oh

unsupervised said...

581

red kite said...

I can see it

Anonymous said...

53:17:95

Anonymous said...

not gonna go too soon

Anonymous said...

585

Anonymous said...

I believe I'll start drifting ever so slightly towards the fence now

Anonymous said...

587

Anonymous said...

588

Anonymous said...

589

Anonymous said...

53:15:110

Anonymous said...

91

stop with the shoulders! said...

592

gasp said...

P-O-D-I-U-M

argh said...

594

this is it said...

53:12:explode

Anonymous said...

96

gasp said...

599

Anonymous said...

and the winner is:

bikesgonewild said...

...not again !!!...holy shit pt 2...

Mac Douche said...

podium

Anonymous said...

podium II

Everyone must be hung over

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