Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:
--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah
In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:
It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:
When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:
Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.
Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.
1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:
--46mph
--46kph
--27mph
(Off to a foffing good start.)
2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.
--True
--False
“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."
3) Who said this?
4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:
5) Do police officers hate cyclists?
--Yes
--No
6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:
7) Hooray! It's ________:
--Helmets
--Helments
2,023 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 2023 Newer› Newest»You're welcome!
Thanks for the lead out steepo!
Holy buffalo biscuits!
You folk are dedicated.
Is there a prime for 420th?
Well earned time bonuses, Nogo & streepo!
Some people call me Maurice.
Too slow...
...godammit...my fingers got crossed up on the keyboard, i shifted into the wrong gear & i botched my sprint completely...
...it's getting late in the season & i hope this doesn't affect the team picking up my option for next year...
In my city if you shoot your own self we send ya to jail. The lockup. Prison.
-ATTENTION-
-ATTENTION-
Nogocyclist and steepo report immediately to the Tour day Snob medical tent and be prepared to pee pee in the jar.
...you know...it's only thursday the 15th & well, gosh, 500 & then 501 really aren't that far off, ya ???...
People talk about me
say I'm doing you wrong
In my state
if you try to shoot yourself
and miss
we finish you off
No problem.
If we apply ourselves, we may even get to page four.
@ Mr. Roboto -
Himitsu wo shiritai
Ghost of Tyrone,
domo arigatou.
Can't reveal my secret.
Doktor Ferarrarrie,
Sorry, I've got a TUE (on page 12)!
I'm Mr.Roboto!
So there.
I am absolutely giddy at this altitude.
420? (snicker, snicker...) Hey, could you pass me the Doritos?
I sure don't want to hurt no one.
CrossVegas Cyclocross report:
The Europeans just toyed with the Americans, sitting in and letting the Americans spend themselves alternately trying to get away and chasing down the attacks, then springing forth at the end for the victory. 6' 6" Ryan Trebon probably did 70 % of the work himself. He is a BEAST.
A new trend I observed this year. About 10% of the field simply rode up the "staircase" portions of the course instead of dismounting and running. They all seemed to arrive at the top at about the same time.
It never ceases to amaze me how swiftly and gracefully they remount and clip in. After witnessing several hundred remounts, I can only remember one guy who missed his clip-in and had to put a foot down to keep his balance, The rest were up to speed in just a few revolutions of the cranks. Impressive.
Finally, would somebody who understands the sport better than me explain why so few competitors wear gloves? Tradition? On the road bike, I always understood that gloves were necessary so that in the event of a fall, you would not scrape the skin off of your palms. Without them, in the event of a crash...umm...how do I put this politely...you might not be able to "properly discipline Vito" for weeks...
Somebody
get me a
cheeseburger
...i was introduced to steve miller backstage at a gig about 2 years ago ...
...it goes without sayin' that we're both "...livin' in the usa"...
...wishiwasmerckx...nice report on crossvegas cx...beyond that, i have nothing...
bgw, I had a feeling you've made Steve Miller's
acquaintance!
"I want to fly
like an eagle
to the sea
fly like an eagle
let my spirit
set me free"
Time keeps on slippin'...
What if he never comes back?
Nothing.
BGW, you pot dealers really seem to get around in the Norcal music scene, no?
...si..i mean no !!!...truth is i haven't smoked the 'wednesday' in over 25 years...hand to the great lob...
...i do however have a buncha rock n' roll friends from years past & while 'the scene' is for 'the kids' these days, friends are friends no matter what their jobs...
...& steve miller was a straight up guy...we were just standing on the back of the stage during soundcheck, chatting about this n' that...music ???...ya, that happened & the miller band, the doobies & big brother played...nobody mailed it in...they all rocked...
...guaranteed...
@ Mr. Roboto,
We made you, damn it!
Oh, you will talk. Wait, wait. You're Kilroy.
Nope, still drawing a blank. Try this: Himitsu wo shiritai, s'il vous plait.
...btw...to keep all this rock n' roll stuff in perspective...
...i have a friend named bob who lives on a boat down in sausalito...bob pays the bills by pumping sewage out of other peoples boats & ol' bob is as cool as anybody i know...fact...
...just keepin' it real...
Ghost of Tyrone,
je suis un...
...MONONOKE!
Je deteste...
STYX!!!
Wow, I'm in awe, kinda.
434
My numbers are coming.
I'll probably be asleep
when that happens.
Remember me at
fo
fo
fo.
I'm too lazy to check the archives, but I think we're getting into record territory; soon if not already.
Hey BGW: I had the honor of mucking stalls at Delaney's R&R Ranch in Tujunga along about 1976. The downside is I was just a clueless hitchhiker dude at the time and had no idea who those people were coming and going at MeeMaw's house. I figured D. was just a has-been sorta-famous rocker and he gave me a goat that slept in my (yes)trailer on the outskirts of the ranch. Fuck it all man. I actually lived at a pilgrimage once.
What in the he'll is this brown stripe doing in me undershorts?
...so the second banana pulls himself out of the water and says, "hey, what do you think I am anyway, a TRANSISTOR RADIO!"
Just sayin,
BTW, we all make a living pumping somebody else's shit; it is just that some of us do it more literally and others more figuratively...
The Doobie Brothers played the halftime show at the Orange Bowl 2 years ago. In spite of their 70's ethos and their porn-star mustaches, they rocked the house...
From the text of this cl ad, I can only presume someone wasn't happy with the performance of their helper monkey.
...shit...'delaney & bonnie & friends' (band name) were good enough in their day that a certain mr eric clapton, by way of london, england, spent some time playing with 'em...i met them when j.j.johnson was their lead guitar & my friend tommy, a local marin guy, was their roadie...
...backroom smoke-out before the gig - guitars, bass, handclap percussion, rockin' & rollin', laughing, tokin' & groovin' - simply magical fucking stuff...
...& me ???...i consider myself privileged to have been in a lotta backrooms doing that same thing with a lotta exceptional people playing a lotta exceptional music in amazingly intimate settings...all part of warming up before they went out to play for the house...
...i'm not tryin' to be a name dropper but believe me, i was invited into a lotta truly awesome musical settings throughout the years...at the time, it was all better than a kings ransom...
...& john mcfee of the doobies ???...i smoked a ton of pot & drank a shitload a' beers along with john & the guys from 'clover', before he was a ***rock n' roll star***...hell, huey lewis was a fucking roadie for clover, years before he hit it big...
...anyway, i never took it for granted but as a music fan, i got to appreciate the art from a perspective that a lotta folks never did or will...thank you jeebus...
@bgw -
Your aim is true.
@Mr. Roboto -
So, you don't want to come sail away with me?
This one's for you Mo:
4 4 4
Ghost of Tyrone,
I'd rather be
a blue collar man.
Yes, thank you Jeebus, thank you Lob.
@Mr Roboto,
You are such a renegade. So be it.
As they say in Cleveland:"From what Huey Lewis has seen, he believes the heart of rock and roll is still beating, right here in Cleveland. Smoke that, Miami."
Hey! Jean-Paul,
We were right all along.
Everything becomes nothing.
But, dammit, I miss Simone.
FOUR
FOUR
EIGHTHst!!!
HEY, we're out of frootluips, send that monkey to the store.
Too many ellipses my dear Mozart, too many ellipses.
Hey Albert, she's with me.
You always were such a dupe.
452
Snob was sighted in Switzerland at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). Appatently he finally amassed enough gelt to realize his time travel dreams. With the help of Dr. Michele Ferrari snob was able to juice himself, travel back in time and win every single BMX race he had ever entered as a young dude. He has reportedly purchased a SoHo loft in which he will display his coveted BMX trophy collection. In future if you run into Snob kindly refer to him as 'BMX Merckx'
Snob is in Utah prepping for his new gig as full time blogerator for the new Real Competitive Cyclist team.
Snob was spotted drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vics. His hair was perfect...
Merde!
Merde!
Merde!
What if Snob
was one of us?
Just a stranger
on a blog.
I just saw Snob on a bench in the park. It was kinda strange...he was wearing an old t-shirt that he had Sharpied "you'll miss Me when I'm gone" onto. The Big Dummy was nowhere in sight, but the Snoblet was playing happily at his feet. I approached to say hello but when he realized what was happening he said, "Aw, fuck" and motioned me away...
...ghostoftyrone...well played, erudite sir !!!...
...most will not have a clue but yes, declan macmanus knew who should help back him on that first album...
Steve Tilford went to Europe, Colorado, California, Wisconsin, Iowa, Texas and points in between and posts twice a day to his blog, with photos.
" (The Angels Wanna Wear) My Red Shoes"
Have a great weekend all!
What's so funny (about peace, love and understanding)?
@bgw -
Of course, now I've got that album play-play-playin' in my head.
I'm not angry.
...streeps & ghost...
...and, AND, AND on top of that, the guy marries diana krall...fuck me...seems like he mastered both 'time & space'...
...now the angels wanna wear my red shoes...
...just sayin'...
You havee beef chow mein?
I'll be damned. I go on vacation and figure I'll catch up on 2 weeks worth of Snob when I get back and what happens? He goes on vacation too... Anyway, welcome back Frilly! Sorry about the bike. BGW, we met a barman in an Italian town called Ostuni who looked really grumpy till he heard we were from Chicago, and then we talked about bands till bedtime. He said he has 16,000 LPs!
Has anybody bought the duck a drink yet? Seems like it walked in the bar about 200 comments ago. And speaking of comments, you guys are ahhsome. 465? Amazing
concurring on the awesomeness of everyone... wish I had a rock story to share, other than the usual "i was at that show"
PUNK ROCK
TCKT PILE
That's 16,000LPs Italian, which converts to something like 18 in American currency.
@bgw -
Do you suppose Diana Krall sits in her favourite chair very quiet and still?
You know, she used to have a carefree mind of her
own, with devilish look in her eye.
Saying "You can call me anything you like, but my name is Diana Krall"
470 comments
Little old lady got mutilated late last night...Bikesnob's in London again
47toothst!!!
hey, is this a quiz? don't we have a quiz? we had a quiz here. what will we do without a quiz? how has quizlessness been dealt with before? will the quiz be back? does the quiz realize there is no quiz? that there hasn't been a quiz in a fortnight?
fawk, i used "fortnight" in a sentence.
does it get any better? (bonus)
DO I HEAR 500?!
I saw Snobbie tracking the Lone Wuff...
:: :: :: :: (wuff tracks)
or is it the other way 'round?
...ghostoftyrone...
...va, va, va...damn...i'm trying to say veronica but it keeps coming out 'vagina'...
...i have it on my mind...ummm, the song...ahhh, veronica, i mean...
Nobody beats the quiz.
Who has the hottest
podium girls?
_fleshy_ podium va
veronicas!
what's the eta on those frootloops?
FOUR
EIGHT
ZEROthst!!!
(i hear sprinters breathing down my wheel)
If you’re like me and you don’t feel like dropping 0 on a Specialized or Trek bike for your 4 year old, then the Diamondback Viper is the perfect solution. You might be thinking, “Heck, I might as well buy an bike if I’m going to save money.” Big mistake. My in-laws ordered one of the cheap-os for my kid’s birthday. Total junk. Sent it back and upgraded to the Viper. It’s very solidly built and has quality components.
There once was a girl named Veronica
Who played a most wicked harmonia
Veronica would squat
Place the harmonica in her twat
Then blow just like Lewinsky Monica
483
484
485
486
487
488
489....
490
491!!
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
and the winner is...
...holy shit !!!...
Hawaii five-oh something...
...well, 'holy shit !!!''s not the winner, i am but holy shit, i'm the winner !!!...
...does that make sense ???...
You deserve it.
Amaaazing display of strength
and endurance.
Sunicorn,
where have you been all my life?
Strangers in the blog
exchanging comments
laughing, ha ha ha...
AWESOME SNAPPER!
top ten-st!
I was out of position with the train came by...
congratulations boys and gurls!
who is in for 6xx?! (st!)
509
counter
Is there enough left to make 600?
Simone is still as she was. Only less mobile. And wearing red shoes, baby wears red shoes.
512
513
514
515
where's them frootLOOPS? monkey!!!
this has to be the PBP of cycling blogger's commentariums.
oh yeah, we're going to six baby
i'm gittin' a twelvepack and a jar of peanut butter and
some
skittles
a big bag
of
skittles.
top 520!
520! Time for thursday weed
Fhat the wuck! It is COLD here on the Mississippi!
@pawnshop
Explains how he could fit them all in one of those little Euro-flats. Your aim is true...
Is the duck watching the detectives?
suuuniiicorn
I know this world
is killing you
oh, suuunniicorn
my wheel is true
my wheel is true
my wheel is...true
...while yes, we are on an amazing record setting pace, i feel my podium win @ 501 isn't getting the recognition it deserves...
...where are the girls, the kisses, the flowers, the fotos, the interviews ???...
...have we become so jaded to feats of blogging prowess that the winner of such a hard fought battle can't bask in it's glow for at least a small measure of time before returning to the peleton to once fight again ???...
...sure, gogolski hauls out his standard 'blah, blah, blah' tripe & the usual "blither, blither, blither" (he's certainly no phil & paul) because he's secure with his signed contract but where is the real passion ???...
...i ask you, ladies & gentlemen of the peleton, past & future winners, leadout bloggers & even simple pack-fill...are we to lose our passion as we ascend to record setting heights ???...
xoxo bgw, xoxo
bises
sugar
smooooooch
PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PA PAPA OMAH MOU MOU PAPA OMAH MOU MOU MOU
...podium girls...well, thank you, you beauties...
...& whoa, i'm swelling with pride & i'm wearing lycra shorts...
...show & tell...
I pawned my Smith Corona
sometimes i lie awake at night wondering if vito, wrm's helper monkey, will ever return _with_ the frootluips and my change...but above that, above all of that i wonder, seriously wonder-in sober and not so sober states of mind-wonder if recumbabe looks good on an upright.
you know, from the _other_ angle and all.
600+ or
IMA FUKIN KILL U!
tag heuer timing sez: 531
@ T.S. Douchebag wrt reeded musical instruments-just before the sprint got organized.
very nice.
is that original?
super earth. i'm goin'.
looks like this one will get burnt down for the ins.
gotta match?
hey man,
some fruitloops would be real good right now.
YOU know there's only six of us doing all the work here.
535
your pull
Conway Twitty
Everything since Seinfeld sucks. I going to quit now. thanks
Recumbabe is the 44 magnum of 'bent bike riders.
five turdy NINEst!
whoopsie do that was 5forty.
this be five-forty-FIRSTst!
synchronicity dude.
and wear a helmet.
539, night, night, quittin early
the poetry here is designed
to thrill ya
but,
one more
and,
I'M A F...
BUUUURRRRRPPP!!!
nice.
i'm in for the win! we've come too far
maaaan,
that wasn't necessary maaan.
Sunicorn,
you blew up my manly inner tube
with your bicycle song on You Tube.
You made me horizontally stiff
and for you, my dear, I'm forever compliant.
torqued skink?
stay away from my recumbabe!
mmm who needs peat and charcoal?
HIC
like 55oh
Bruce Springsteen is fucking it up...
...he's fucking it up...
...he's fucking up the future of
rock and roll...
get off your green horse, we done ruined this planet.
55toothST!
five fitty tree ?
this is fukkin ridiculous
FIVE
FIVE
FIVEst!
shit
i'm
outta
beer
already
DLVII
Years back I smoked a Doobie Brother. I think it was the original keyboard player. Roasted him in the oven. When he turned to dust I smushed him into my human skull bong and smoked him man! Best buzz I ever had.
I had Vietnamese that night and boy did I end up with a severe case of heart burn.
just flipped on the doppler radar widget for an idea of the upcoming weather... and just before the deluge became apparent, a little rainy fuck-you finger image appeared on top of my hometown!
Gang Bong?
" 515 "
Why should I care?
hey nonny mouse
Morning Glory
Sex with my wife, what are you crazy?
extra cheese is two dollars
Either light up
or leave me alone.
FixitƩ!
Hey, Jean-Paul.
your being turned to nothingness!
I'm the Stranger everyone knows.
How's that for existential irony!?
You know, I'm still chuckling about Snob's "Little Cippollini" comment a couple weeks ago.
Hey Albertl, SĆøren and I are going for Sushi at five. Meet us there!
Just leave that damn horse at home this time!
Friedrich
Pack fill comment
570
Cat 6 comment
down a gear...572
I'm in this to win
hope I don't blow it
573
574
575
576
can I get up in dem gears?
578
579
five eight oh
581
I can see it
53:17:95
not gonna go too soon
585
I believe I'll start drifting ever so slightly towards the fence now
587
588
589
53:15:110
91
592
P-O-D-I-U-M
594
53:12:explode
96
599
and the winner is:
...not again !!!...holy shit pt 2...
podium
podium II
Everyone must be hung over
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