Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:
--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah
In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:
It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:
When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:
Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.
Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.
1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:
--46mph
--46kph
--27mph
(Off to a foffing good start.)
2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.
--True
--False
“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."
3) Who said this?
4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:
5) Do police officers hate cyclists?
--Yes
--No
6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:
7) Hooray! It's ________:
--Helmets
--Helments
2,023 comments:
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Sweep?
FOR SALE - Botique Brooks type human leather saddles. In stock - Afro American, Vietnamese, Native American, Cannuk, Illegal Alien and Italian.
We have one xxx fine Wasp Leather model for the discerning rider priced resonably at $4,999.99.
Coming Soon - Siamese Siamese Twin Leather Selle Italia
Well, top ten again, damn!
I posted the last comment on the first page, and knew I could have posted two and got the podium, but wouldn't that be cheating?
Congratulations wishiwasmerckx.
Come to think of it, for a podium race, all is fair, so I should have just cheated and got the Friday podium.....
But, anyway I aced the quiz, 0 out of 0 is still a perfect score. Isn't it?
Since BSNYC is currently being the BSLHR, he is apparently too busy to post the Friday Quiz.
I don't have the quiz, but I found an appropriate "wrong answer" video. If you are wrong, you will see a video of Bicycle Repair Man, British style.
Is it even possible that someone could curate a worse bicycle themed video than this one?
Everything about it is simply wrong! If you watch this video, be warned. When I say it is the worse, I mean it is bad, really bad, simply horrendous.
And what is up with the sound track?
my white bicycle (godspeed)
And all this time, you thought it could not get and worse than the classical "Hipster doing Skids" Video.
Nogocyclist,
good work. Thanks for that link.
Not only did I watch that video,
I smelled it.
dayum, mebbe i'll be in shape for the 300th?!
211st
...wishiwasmerckx...now that we have sean penn to do ant1's podium sequences in 'bikesnobnyc - the movie', i'm thinking we should do a reverse 'forest gump' for your scenes wherein original footage of eddy merckx on the podium (lord knows there's enough of that around) is inserted into the new podium shots...
...& at the end, as the credits role by it would say - 'wishiwasmerckx played by eddy merckx'...cool or what, ya ???...
BGW, I'm honored. That's a great idea, except for the part where my intellect is compared favorably to Forrest Gump...
congrats on the sweep wwim. appears you caught nogo's wheel.
tell us with whom did you butt helmeted heads
or was it helmentless recklessness and coroporatess greed what catapulted you past all who now
kneel before thee?
at your service,
wp
oh look, i misspellled "wiwm" and can't get my moderator buttons to work here...
Zoom zoom, I must begrudgingly admit that I like "suck it, wwim" way better that "suck it, wiwm."
whoa, the pace fell off...like a feed zone or something.
It's a mechanical.
Let me get to work.
What's this?
Belt drive!
WRM's on the air right now.
_the_ bicycle repair man?! wow you knever know who will show up here.
belt and suspenders for the military-esque redundancy.
I used to be Bicycle Repair Man, but then I repaired one too many Huffys, (Huffies?) and lost my mojo.
I had to fire that Brady boy..
...he was too slow.
Wildcat on the Beeb...
he better send some shout-outs
across the pond!
The unwatchable video
had Bard College
written all over it.
So, what's next
after the BBC?
WILDCAT ROCK MACHINE
Live at Leeds.
...momma always said "blogging is like a box of chocolates"...
Sure you can do both bikes and cars; I had grand plans of going racing on the velodrome this year (until I got a hit-and-run); I also have a car race licence and competed in a 24hr race a couple of weeks ago.
2CVs. Fabulous fun....
hey nonny mouse
is it september yet?
229thst!
CLINK!
SCREW!
BEND!
INFLATE! ALTER SADDLE!
Why, he's repairing it with his OWN HANDS!
See how he uses a spanner to tighten that
nut.
(all together now)
OUR HERO!
Always
Keith Stone
Ok, I sucked too much at the quiz, that's not fair!! We'll "see" you on the 19th !
remember to remember
...'member to 'member...
...(not that there's anything, blah, blah, blah)...
Members Only
Remember to Dismember
"WILDCAT ROCK MACHINE
Live at Leeds."
Who?
hey nonny mouse
thank lob, no nine eleven testimonials
not that there's anything
wrong with that
but wouldn't that make
the evil-doers happy?
some of you people are cool
--brake for love
Checking in for no other reason but to add one more comment so we can have another Podium race. Come on comment 401.
When I think about it, we won't reach 400 with serious comments, so we need a crit where everybody just posts comment after comment, just to get us to the top of that climb. We got a week, so.....
Everyone just get to posting. More good bicycle related YouTubes would be appreciated. Or else, someone could post a worse one than Don't Watch the Video @3:43 on 9/9 posted.
OK, so this duck walks into a bar...
Here is a YouTube video just for pack fill to get the comments to 400. Video is just what a kid does when they first start figuring out just how weird riding a fixie can be.
Yes, I will take a bow. I have curated a fixie video, but my video proves that you can actually produce one that does not have even one skid in the whole production. Just turn down the volume first, the music is just plain strange. I used it just because the tempo seemed to be in sync with the riding.
great Vuelta
the duck immediately spots Greg Lemond sitting in the back in a darkened booth...
There was a Cat6 commuter
in an American Express commercial
during tonight's football game.
I thought I heard the voice-over say,
"it feels like cowpiss sometimes".
Shucks, Mr. Brake for Love, if you wanted a 9/11 testimonial, you didn't have to be all coy about it.
I was crossing the Brooklyn Bridge on the morning of 9/11. It sucked.
I played a small part in subsequent relief efforts. That was very sad, but ultimately life affirming in ways I can't explain.
Each 9/11 anniversary, I like to cross the Bridge and mutter that Osama bin Laden can kiss my ass. (I mutter because NYC already has enough people shouting at folks who aren't there.)
I didn't feel the need to do that this year.
That made me happy.
But I bet I do that tomorrow morning. I'm just a creature of habit.
Ride safe, ride happy! (And braking for love sounds like a good idea to me.)
Ooops. Serious comment. Sorry. My bad.
I'll fix this:
So Lemond says, "I know Lance doped."
And the duck says "yeah, but you're the only guy in the bar talking to a duck."
cow piss
doesn't get the recognition
that bullshit does
leroy, serious comments are OK. We just need to get to 400 to start another podium race. It is just easier to say something that a six year older can come up with than to actually make an intelligent comment.
That is the only reason for requesting silly comments. Just for the record, all comments even remotely related to cycling are welcome, silly, serious, or even those that plain suck!
A cycling comment that just plain sucks???
Coming this fall to the Food Network, Chef Recumbabe rides to her new restaurant, Bistro Bacchetta, on her recumbent cycle through the streets of Brooklyn wearing (lets just say her customary garb) where she will prepare a suckling pig basted in the most supremely imaginative sauce ......
Friday Fun Quiz Question, the late addition:
Who was arrested while cycling four times in one day but was able to talk his way out out of trouble in each case?
--Ćscar Pereiro
----Jan Ullrich
--FDR
----David Byrne
my poop smells like jasmine, Royal Nepalese black tea, bamboo, rainbow hued cotton cany and irony.
d
...leroy...we only know each other from blogging on this site (other than those e-mails your dog keeps sending) but i was honestly struck by your admission about you're being on the bridge when all that came about...
...that was powerful...i shan't say more...
Hi. This is very nice and thanks for sharing this information. This type of cycling to get a more healthy.
__________
Camp
I suppose I should do my bit
Back to work today ater 2-1/2 weeks off. No podium races for me.
I thought Nogo was being overly optimistic aiming for 400 given that it was only a matter of hours until Snob's highly anticipated return. Then, a terrible doubt crept into my mind and I rechecked the last post. 19TH OF SEPTEMBER! ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME. A whole 'nuther week. Well now, given this unpleasant revelation I'm thinking Nogo is aiming low. I propose we turn this into a 600 comment brevet.
Please, Lob, may an American
win the cycling world championship.
the way i sees it.
WE ARE the peloton
BSNYC/RTMS/WRM
is our DS
261st!!!
wp
Recumbabe is our mascot
wait what?!
and a chef? my word. Giada De Laurentiis may have some competition now.
too
sexty
tooth!
wp
CCLXIII
A boring meaningless comment to add to the total.
Streepo, aren't most of them anyways?
another lap
another lap
another lap
Anonymous @11:05, 11:06 x 2.
You do realize that three "another lap" equals lap, lap, lap.
So, the question we want to know, are you watching a cat drinking water, or are you dreaming about recumbabe giving you three "dances"?
waiting for snobby to finish his cho cho puffs.
cycle
He's finished his cho cho puffs. Now he is riding around in a tin Canta car.
About six months ago, for my birthday, a friend bought me David Byrne's book "Bicycle Diaries".
I finally finished it yesterday. My review: not as entertaining as Snob's book, but not as bad as I had expected. Mr. Byrne comes across as a quiet, sincere fellow.
By the way, where is BSNYC now? My daughter used to love them.
Rocky Mountain Chuck, it seems very probable that he is gallivanting around Europe at the moment. From his twitter posts, it appears he was in England last week and likely in London as least part of that time.
This week it appears that he is likely in Amsterdam. Of course the only hint he has given us is a photo of a tiny car that is mainly only seen in that country.
catch a wheel
catch a wheel
catch a wheel
third podium 'round the bend
headbutt shove elbow
the pelocommenterton shuffles
27 togo
everyday is
weednesday in
amsterdam eh?
We can makes jokes about 9/12, right?
Well, as long as the jokes on me.
On this day, ten years ago, I ran for my life, again.
I was sitting in the D train at the 34th st station when a cop
stuck his head inside the car and yelled, "get out! There's a bomb!". I ran and I cursed ( I ran from the first falling tower the day before and then spent four hours on line at St Vincent's hospital to donate blood) . As I'm running through the streets I had to laugh at myself: I hope that's a normal reaction, when truth and absurdity collide.
Grƶlsch Kanon, eh? Yeah, he's in Amsterdam alright. Never cared for the stuff, as it's too sweet & leaves me with a cheap-wine hangover. The timing of this lengthy sojourn can be explained as simply wanting to experience the city while it's still Amsterdam.
Yeah, Mrs.Snob gave him a pass
to visit the red light district...
knockin' Dutch boots.
CCLXXX or CCLXXL
My wood chipper has a Gates belt drive. Let me look down this to see whqat size the ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQgAMkMmsfg
Roll Safe
So the guy says: "Wrecked him? Damn near killed him!"
There's another picture
of a...
super HOT!!!
bike chic on the Sartorialist blog today.
28fifst!
too
atey
sexthst!
I love Oscar Meyer processed meat products!
who is _really_ pushing the amsterDONT?
and WHAT a fucking idiotic JOKE that prohibition will fix anything.
or as I've said before: eff the effing effers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26UA578yQ5g&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL8877344B6FE69DAF
See you guys at the Interbike cyclocross race in Vegas Wednesday night?
FULL moon tonight
HHHOOOOOWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
So the guy says, "Liquor? I don't even know her!"
291
What was the name of that movie about the Battle of Thermopylae?
You know, the one about Sparta and the Persians?
Zack Snyder directed it.
Gerard Butler was in it.
It was about King Leonidas.
Everybody was like totally ripped with like six pack abs.
Some folks fell down a hole.
The title was a number.
Dang, wish I could remember that number. It might be relevant.
Oh well, maybe if I sleep on it, it'll come to me.
podium again?
Second?
Another sweep?
So the guy says: "I was talking to the duck!"
He's so gay his name is Phil McCracken.
He's so gay he's from Manassas.
top ten XXX!
wp
All kidding aside, I am scheduled to do a charity ride on Saturday with Team Rwanda. How cool is that?
So the guy says, "I am scheduled to do a charity ride on Saturday with Team Rwanda. How cool is that?"
An interesting but obscure bit of cycling trivia. John F. Kennedy and his older brother Joe got in a bicycle race one day. Who won? It is hard to say, but the outcome most favored Joe, so the future president most likely lost, even if he technically won the race.
The race ended when the two brothers collided head on and JFK had to have 28 stitches.
From Life of JFK, bottom of page 1
Bikesnob: I'm so insanely bored in your absence I bought your book and downloaded it to my Kindle.
My vote for the movie title is Vito's submission:
"BIKESNOB IS A HOMO (SAPIEN)"
That will look great on the marquee.
WIWM --
Incredibly cool!
I'm a homosapien too.
brake-less track bikes
on the streets
break my heart
That bike ticket crackdown made my city rides
more fun.
When I make it to a light before it turns red, I give myself sprint points--meaningless, sure, but good exercise.
And what's so bad about waiting for a light to change?
It's a chance to meet people.
RIDES AGAIN!
Leroy, I think that the movie might have been called "Spartacus," but I might be mistaken. If so, I offer 300 apologies...
How many Rwandans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many anonymous commenters
does it take to screw
a light bulb?
*trick question
no balls
For my next art installation
I'll have built a giant lightbulb
and people will have sex inside.
These people would be multi-racial,
ethnic, or what-have-you.
And we'll finally have the answer.
OK, I have two Ridleys and a Cannondale, all CBF...how about you?
I got the song MANDY in my head, all because I saw
Barry Mannilow today.
I got two turntables
and
a microphone.
I got nothing.
Mr. Woo Hoo mentioned "Mandy" and I immediately thought of "Brandy".
I knew Brandy.
She was a fine girl.
I asked her to marry me...
denied!
they call me Wilma because I can make your Bedrock.
Hell yeah, Wilma!
Now we know why
Fred was bangin'
on your door!
Wilma rocks!
14B
That's correct. I married Bam Bam.
and
let me tell you...
my name is seldom heard.
Pebbles Rubble
I'm the aftermath of an earthquake.
Wilma's daughter.
...a more mature & family oriented beck sez...
...i got two potatoes
...&
...a microwave...
Drew Bledsoe got his bike back that was stolen over Labor Day.
Thankfully, one more bike thief caught, but who is Drew Bledsoe?
http://vimeo.com/28984968
They did it again.
MORE COMMENTS OR
.
.
.
wait
.
.
.
for
.
.
.
it
IMA FUKIN KILL YOU!
hey wishywashymerckx, we're sending ant1st over with some PED testing apparatus, be a dear and comply.
have you been to espain lately?
better sit up for round 5
I'm a rebel in a small town.
I'm looking for thrills
but all I have are potato fields
and cows.
Dear WP:
As for drug testing, (insert large penis joke of your choice here).
Sincerely,
WIWM
Snitches get stitches
I'm gonna get that Kelsea
darn them biotches
I had to get even with Brandon.
I gave it up to him, and what
does he do?
He goes around school saying,
"and Justus for all...
and Justus for all".
Save us, Super Snobby, save us from the smug and the hip. Where is Snobby when the world cries out for rescue? In his fortress of solitude? At a local bar? Hanging with Liz Hatch? The cycling world is going down in flames and he is no where to be found. I haven't had a good laugh since September 2nd.
cycle
Did you see the workout video?
Ah. The good old days. I'd drink a couple of 'Team Milkshakes' and do 500 push-ups with my hands behind my back.
Schwanzlutscher* of stahl!
* Johansson for you Danish
i kinda miss the spam of yore.
or _do_ i?
fwak--is this another feed zone...can we get some intermediate sprint sponsors eh?
organize
control
leadout
hammer
hammer
hammer
time.
go.
TREE
FORTY
SEXTHst!
hey Wishy
nothing funny about a big penis
they tells me.
wp
The sex columnist for free weekly magazine based in Brooklyn was asked by a reader whether or not to have plastic surgery on her fleshy vagina.
New York is safe these days. Not dangerous at all...
unless you're on a bike.
Not a single question right.
*sigh* Some things never change.
TREY
FITTY
1st!
le intermediate sprint was mineallmineallmine
who sponsored that where do i get the prize?
wp
i'm going for a recovery pbr
bicycle
you take me places
on my own power
bicycle
people make faces
at us at rush hour
what's the record max commentarium anyhoo?
who keeps the stats here?
no i'm not volunteering.
wp
skink, is thine tail blue?
FRILLY!!! Long time, no write...
Welcome back!
Personally, I prefer my vaginas on the fleshy side...
Lizard Breath, dude,
dear,
my tail IS black
AND
blue
watch your back
when you hear:
WOO HOO!
@ only five shopping days left! Going by my crappy memory I think somewhere in the low 4Cs.
...wow, frilly !!!...that was like, the longest wheelchange ever...
...glad you caught back up to the peleton...
ATTN DAVID BYRNE:
Hi DAVID. you gave me your web address at a party three years ago. We talked about bikes and biking. Well I've finally bought a bike. A Ritte Lpne Wolf Full Panzer.
My question is do I carry my 9mm in front or around back.
John Cale recorded a great song about me.
Monday's podium race promises to be one for the ages. An epic in the annals of BSNYC history. Train hard. Rest and be kind.
Only 34 more comments and we can have another sprint for the podium. Page change comes with comment 401.
Pace Suburban Bus Route 367 is the University Park Bus.
Since this is comment 367 I wonder what is a Pace Bus? Is it a bus that cyclist follow to keep up their pace and to provide an opportunity for drafting?
P.S. Don't bother clicking on that link. It is only showing Route 367 information. Nothing in that link is cycling related (that I saw.)
Finally, an issue that I am passionate about. I have looked for information of this caliber for the last several hours. Your site is greatly appreciated.
mountain bike
Wow. It's like a party in snobs backyard while he's away. I feel a bit guilty or something. Has someone fed his exotic birds? And that damn monkey?
Hey, remember that time Noam Chomsky made an entry to the Bret - symbol competition? He didn't win.
I made an entry too which never saw the light of day.
And even though I kind of dig old Chomsky, I'll say this.
Suck my balls, Noam!
Cheerio
URT 5:48, I just threw up in the flower box.
Never mind, the monkey got in there and lapped it up. Monkey fed and mess tidied. Two birds killed with one stone! Yes, I threw a stone just now and killed two of those exotic birds at once, what a shot!
You call that tidied? Someone took a dump in the bathtub! And it doesn't look at all like monkey p-
Oh. There's feathers in it.
Never mind.
VITO!!!
don't put your flowers in my monkeybox?
Big news this morning for NYC cyclist:
a bike share program next summer.
!0,000 bikes will be in racks throughout Manhattan
and parts of Brooklyn.
They'll have GPS for theft deterrence.
A spokesman for AAA spewed out the anti-bike rhetoric in a response to the announcement.
Hey is it the 19th yet??!
WIWM & BGW! Thanks!
Spent the summer swim/bike/running a couple of races. Podiumed in one! 2nd place!
Have to tell ya, I'm in mourning. The steel beast was stolen a couple of weeks ago. Devastated.
Welcome back Frilly!
Sorry to hear about the stolen bike.
Oh thanks Leroy. It was an inside job--taken from the hallway of my building. I'm beginning to suspect one of the kitties traded it for some catnip.
Sorry about that, Frilly.
I just couldn't help myself.
The long arm of the law
will eventually grab me.
Hey, at least I'm not pimping
all the farmers' daughters.
500 may be L'Alpe d'Huez
of this year's comments.
still got nothing... like the spoon song.
if you like frilly, i have a pair of hubs for you. contact me by blogger thingy. build a bike by charitable donation!
Shluffing my way through the Bikesnob book. My favorite quote so far:
"Mountain Bikers are also far more likely to have beer guts and hairy legs with tattoos of things like chain rings, reptiles, or Chinese characters-and that's just on the ladies."
That shit's funny!
@ Marcel: That's cool news about the bike share program. I always wanted to visit the rotten apple and see the sights by bike. I'll be the swerving guy on the bridge taking pictures.
recumbent conspiracy theorist
As of yet, I have not seen any bike share programs that supply recumbents.
Most of the bike share bikes I have seen photos of don't necessarily fit in any standard bicycle configuration, so I don't know if it would matter anyway.
Even still to be safe, leave the recumbents to recumbabe for a month or two and practice riding an upright bike just in case.
Nogo-
I am actually a cyclist of many hats (helments). I ride a steel mtb, traditional road bike and my commuter is an upright fancy pants titanium mtb with slicks and fenders. I don't like riding my recumbent in traffic at all. too hard to see behind me even with a helmet mirror. So yea I'll be swervin upright.
Them fools be swervin"...
recumbent conspiracy theorist,
Hope you have a great time.
I know it won't be for a lack of bike handling skils
that you'll swerve..
...the women!
Oh
RCT, I figured as much. I was just trying to make one more comment to get the page to change again. We are almost there, this will be comment 388, so it is possible we will have another "Page Change" podium today, and if not today, almost certainly by this time tomorrow.
so
very
close
to
400
now
OK, I posted too slowly so this one is 390.
who is
going to
get my
wheel?
Podium
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