Friday, August 19, 2011

BSNYC Friday Awkward Encounter With Someone Whose Name You Forgot!

This week has been a tremendously exciting one, at least in terms of packages that have been delivered to me.

Probably the most exciting package was the one that came yesterday afternoon. As I peered out my front door expectantly, I heard the sound of the elevator arriving, at which point a large box flew out of it as though the elevator were bulimic and had regurgitated it. Soon though it was followed by a man in brown, who continued to roll the thing down the hall end over end. Inside the box was one (1) Ritte van Vlaanderen bicycle:

So you want specs? Here are the specs:

Frame--yes
Shifter thingys--also yes
Frame material--bamboo beneath a metal veneer
Wheels--round
Owner--delighted

Sorry to lapse into bicycle jargon, but I'm sure you "tech heads" will feel the lateral stiffness and vertical compliance of what I just laid down.

Anyway, it is a testament to Ritte's framebuilding prowess and bicycle packing expertise that, despite such molestation, the machine emerged totally unscathed. As of today I have only managed one (1) brief ride on it which was snuffed out quickly by a thunderstorm, but so far my first impression is that it is exactly like my old road bike, except that it is attractive instead of ugly, and it rides way better. I do have one quibble, though, which is that having such a nice bike makes me feel like even more of a schlub than I usually do, though I suppose that might have something to do with my riding attire:

I may have to take advantage of the Rapha "Summer Sale."

Speaking of self-indulgence, I was reading the latest Bruce Weber tour report in the New York Times when I noticed an interesting reader comment:


This comment was as follows:

I agree with an earlier post that this project reeks of self-indulgence and entitlement. The multi-thousand dollar custom bike; the motel stays....
It just dawned on me that bicycling across the country could be added to "Stuff White People Like".


First of all, of course it's self-indulgent. It's a vacation. He's supposed to be indulging himself. Only pretentious minimalists take vacations based around self-deprivation. Secondly, has this person not noticed that 75% of the New York Times is dedicated to self-indulgence? Does he think the "Home & Garden," "Fashion & Style," and "Travel" sections exist to report hard news? Most vexingly, though, since when are "motel stays" the measure of "self-indulgence and entitlement?" I know the economy is collapsing, but I still don't think a night in a Motel 6 is up there with a stay at the Ritz-Carlton, even if you do spend a few quarters on the vibrating bed.

In any case, the Ritte bike wasn't the only exciting package I received; I also received a box full of Knog products--and, unlike the bike, I intend to give all this stuff away:


This box contains all manner of Knoginess, including the so-called "wearable Boomer:"


Not only can you use the clippy thing to clip it to stuff, but you can also use the Power of Magnets to fasten it to places on your bag or wardrobe where a clippy thing cannot find purchase. For example, here it is on the front of my pants:


And here it is mounted on the inside of the front of my pants, so that you can see how it works:

...and a soothing red light did fill my nether regions.*

Also in the box are some "rechargeable Boomers:"

All you have to do is plug them into your USB port, which is especially useful if you work in one of those futuristic offices where they make you use a "computer." Just imagine reading this blog and knowing that your light is charging for the ride home at the same time. Truly amazing. If only it could also draw power from your nether regions...

But wait, there's more! "Frog Strobes:"


Short-sleeved torso covers with designs and slogans that don't really mean anything on them:


Visored head covers:



And even a bag for your futuristic "computer:"

(Disembodied feet not included.)

My first impulse was to dispense these items in some sort of contest, but then I realized that would involve packing stuff, and mailing stuff, and other unsavory tasks. So instead, I will dispense this stuff in person in sort of a "Surprise Cat 6 Freebie Extravaganza." This will involve appearing at an undisclosed location at an undisclosed time and simply giving the stuff away to bike commuters, and the undisclosed location and time are as follows:

Where: Brooklyn side of the Manhattan Bridge
When: Tuesday August 23rd, between 5:00 and 6:00PM

This could change if the weather is abjectly horrible or if I decide to simply sell the stuff on Craigslist for beer money, but barring those scenarios that is the plan. I'll dispense the goods on a more-or-less first come, first serve basis, though you must--must--present this coupon in order to claim your prize:

As I said, the time and place could change, but for now that's the plan.

*(Further to Leroy's comment, don't worry, I won't be giving away the crotchally-mounted Boomer.)

And now, with all that out of the way, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right your crotch will light up, and if you're wrong you'll see the future of bicycle navigation.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and ride happy.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





("You're exactly as tall as one (1) Thomas Voeckler.")

1) Thomas "Valise of Perspicacity" Voeckler recently lost a race against:






(Mario Cipollini invites a dinner guest to smell his fingers.)

2) Mario Cipollini's plans to compete against an Italian racehorse in a much-publicized "endowment contest" were thwarted by PETA in 2003.






3) Handlebar flutes are the new _______________:






4) "Bicycle Down the West Coast, Meet Women, Talk About ______________."






("I'm thinking about menstrual cups.")

5) According to the Sierra Club, one "benefit" of cycling is that you could meet this guy.





6) David Byrne does not have a car, but he does have:







7) NAHBS founder Don Walker has been described as:



***Special Knuckle Tattoo-Themed Bonus Question***



Complete the knuckle tattoo: "DIET ____"


143 comments:

Anonymous said...

1st?

Anonymous said...

Yes!

Anonymous said...

oops awesome

Bradford said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grandmaster B said...

So close...

hillbilly said...

it's a date.

Anonymous said...

Top ten biznatches!

Kenny Banya said...

Top tennish

CYC said...

Nice ride snob.. hope you enjoy!

Rusted Tromboner said...

Only thrown for a loop by two (2) questions: the inevitable David Byrne question and the knuckle-headed knuckle tattoo bonus question...
Oh well, do I still get a prize?

Kenny Banya said...

Snobby, love the new bike, not sure about the bar tape color...
There, I said it.

ringcycles said...

BSNYC: I understand the desire to get your brother-in-law the wiki-dork jumpstarted into the lucrative field of bike culture fashion modeling, but if after a week of daily plugging on your blog Performance hasn't returned his incessant emails, it ain't in the cards. Face it, he's going to be surfing your couch until Starbucks starts hiring again.

One Who Knows said...

Nice bike, Snob, but needs some better hoops!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Kenny Banya,

I usually use black tape but I think Ritte wanted to give it a little color. My grubby mitts will soon turn it black anyway.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

One Who Knows,

I couldn't wait to ride it so I just threw on my old wheels--which happen to be excellent wheels, just not particularly photogenic.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

EVIL KIWI said...

I kind of miss Pontius Pilate. Remember a couple of months ago when he won the sprint? How does he do it in those sandals?

leroy said...

Perfect score until the bonus question. Bummer.

WRM -- you should keep the wearable Boomer. You seem attached to it and probably don't want to meet the kind of person interested in acquiring it now.

Enjoy the new bike!

Ride safe all!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Leroy,

Ah, thanks--I meant to add that for sanitary reasons I will keep the crotchal sample and give away a hermetically sealed one.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ringcycles said...

Kenny: the Belgie Blue tape is a Ritte thing, for faux flanderians. If you have to ask....

One Who Knows said...

Snobbie will have to palp some baby-blue Lion of Flanders socks when riding his new bike.

le Correcteur said...

Pack fodder.

Twistyface said...

Tiagra?

Hungry Panda said...

bamboo beneath a metal veneer

Is that some sort of cruel joke?
I will not take two, until my sawsall charges up.

"While I don't begrudge Weber his trip, I'm not sure why it's being published in the Times. There are many more socially relevant projects going on in the world; even in the biking world. This just seems to be a case of the Times being lazy."

Jeffrey, lighten up you asshat, that is what old white guys do to entertain themselves, it may not be news, but it is somewhat intersesting.

Anonymous said...

22nd ??......now to look up my placing online!

leroy said...

WRM -- an understandable oversight.

My dog once brought home a MacDonald's french fry warming lamp, touting therapeutic benefits from a similar placement.

Lesson learned.

Anonymous said...

Snob, nice new bike. I really dig the silver-colored cabron fibray.

and all the people said "A-meh!"

Anonymous said...

All you hilpsters fugue my handlebars.

Jasper said...

The Rapha sale is the only chance for a style-obsessed but poverty-stricken aging hpister like myself to look in the least bit stylish on my biking rounds.
And if you can't "draw power from your nether regions" you only need ask Mario. but perhaps wiwm would be closer at hand...

Anonymous said...

"They were in their late 60s and early 70s, all, it turned out, at least 10 years older than me."

Trust their grammar is better than yours too.

I love that the Belgiums' have English grammar police.

Shame on you Times, boring stories, and bad grammar.

Tempestuous said...

DONW ALKR

TRAK BIKE

NHBS BAIT

CommieCanuck said...

Geez WRM, after seeing that new bike's stem length, I somehow feel inadequate.
Not that I was staring at it or anything...Oh god, I think it moved...

Marcel Da Chump said...

That moral high ground from which Jeffrey criticized Weber is just pure envy.


Enjoy the bike, WCRM. Work keeps me 'til six. Wish I could be at the Knogfest.

CommieCanuck said...

Hey, if I buy the same frame, can we start a new team?, call it the "WRM Manneschaft"?

By the way, I pronounced "Ritte van Vlaanderen" correctly and dislocated my tongue. You'll be hearing from my lawyer, sir. Not sure where that frame is made, but likely on by some guy named Gort.
KLAATU OBAMA NICKCAVE.

Levi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Television_writer said...

Ritte's framebuilding prowess and bicycle packing expertise

...comes from the same manufacturers used by every other small-time bike reseller.

Here's a little snippet from my new Television project, "Artisanal Bike Life."

Dude #1:
"Whooaaah, duder this one has some foreign sounding name. I think that's a reference to the Netherlands or something... Cool..."

Dude #2
"Yeah Duder, this one goes to 11 and all the others only go to 10. Awesome!!!!"

Miles said...

I've done the Going to the sun road twice this year, once at 6 am and once on the full moon only a few days ago. Its an excellent and epic ride, good to see it on the blog.

shu-sin said...

i want to make it to knogfest not to get a light from you (who needs lights when your nether regions have integral lighting?), but to CAT6 you back to prospect park... bring your new tin covered wooden bike... enjoy the ride.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice road-cycling bicycle wcrm. I'm interested to know how she handles at Woo Hoo speed.

mikeweb said...

Awesome bike WCRM! Enjoy!

KNOG SWAG

ant1 said...

ant1st!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Television_writer,

Actually Ritte also make frames to order, which was the case here.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

hillbilly said...

Beautiful bike, by the way, enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Is there some law that I'm unaware of restricting the sale of chain lube to Freds?

reuben said...

You could turn that Ritte into a sweet fixie.

Will said...

good thing your new frame is stainless seeing as how it got wet.

Grinderman said...

Nick Cave is still a Bad Seed. A most tempestuous frame builder.

ant1 said...

i guess now that it's less in vogue for us crackers to take over other people's countries, riding across them is the second best thing.

Anonymous said...

Sweet new ride, Snobby. Any truth to the rumor crabon forks biodegrade while you are riding em? I have one. Just curious.

cycle

Anonymous said...

Fizik Aliante + 12 cm stem (I think) = 'cockpit' of champions, 44 cm bars preferred but 42 OK too

acquiesce808 said...

congratulations on the new ritte, WRM!

so wasn't your old "ugly" bike that rides worse the Bianchi Super-Oltre Über-Record Road Bicycle Cycling Machine? what's the re-sale on an $11,000 crabon fibre bike?

Daniel said...

Wildcat,

Are we going to see you and that sweet new bike at the NW RGR?

crosspalms said...

No fenders? Oh well. Nice bike anyway. Sorry I'll miss Knogapalooza, sounds like good clean fun.

Navigate safely all!

wishiwasmerckx said...

The Ritte is o.k., I guess, but all things considered, I would much prefer the Mouton Cadet bike featured in yesterday's post.

Anonymous said...

ROLL OVER AMERICA! HERE IT COMES!

PORTLAND TO DC!

http://web.mac.com/josef.janning/Roll_over_America/Home.html

GhostOfTyrone said...

"Artisanal Bike Life, Episode 2"

Duder 1: Dude, look what I brought home.

Duder 2: What is it?

Duder 1: It's a girlie.

Duder 2: Crap, crap, where is our Department of Eagles album? What do we do?

Duder 1: Relax, bro.

Duder 2: Ok bro. Hey, does this mean we're going to have to equip our Ironoblaster Tandem with a third flute?

Duder 1: zzzzzzz....

Girlie: Um, bye.

Dan Webster said...

Being as that I live in "America's Top Hat", can I print the coupon and mail it to you so that you can then send me a Knog device? I have a drop box in the "Ass of Canada" if you don't want to have to worry about those pesky customs agents.

Anonymous said...

To pronounce "Ritte van Vlaanderen" correctly, I'm sure you have to gob a couple of times.

All you slavers ritt my flanders....

hey nonny mouse

worldmatt said...

Dear Bike Snob,

I will only accept your free offer of assorted swag next Tuesday if you promise to give it away inside the barricades of the "used to be a bike lane, now temporarily a pedestrian lane, except that no one, cyclist or ped, can read and just thinks collisions and near-collisions are to be expected" part of the Manhattan Underbridge.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Ride it in good health, Snobby.

Love,

Grandma Larry

Pubicbikes said...

Isn't the term "Great Hipster Silk Route" a copyright owned by BSNYC/RTMS?WRM?

Today I got an e-mail from Competitive Cyclist plugging the following:

"Pista Tubular. Whether you're training for track nationals, or just commuting on the Great Hipster Silk Route, the Pista is the stuff of fixie dreams."

BSNYC is read and copied by everyone!

jams run free said...

Lemme get a ride! Oh, please, please...pretty please...with sugar on top!

henry gibson said...

a poem

david byrne

will never learn

Television_writer said...

Actually Ritte also make frames to order, which was the case here.

Nice to see a fool and his money can still be parted.

You mean to say they are curating epic custom bicycle bikes from people who actually make them.... And then putting their stickers on them! Go 'merica!

How long will it be before Duder van Ritte blows their razor-thin profit margins and stiffs his frame builders? Anyone? Anyone?

That provokes another line from my reality based TV project, "Two wheel life"

"Duder! I just procured some artisanal foreign-looking bike frame stickers for my Kinesis! Awwesomme..."

Since me and Aaron Sorkin are competing for the same reality TV jobs, I think I'll start a company that creates artisanal bike stickers. "Duder Van Looy" and "Hein Vervaecke" bike frame stickers are just the thing for your ebay-procured generic carbon frameset. You too will have procured a Specialized/Trek/Duder van Ritte for 1/5th the price.

veel succes!

See. I can speak french, or whatever they speak at Paris Roubaix too.

the ineffable me said...

Nice bike. Seems like you got the pick of the Ritte. Even retro-grouchy me would be proud to own it.

The BelgiANS said...

Anon 12:53,

You'll have to come down to the station.

light blue said...

Thanks for putting some of that ad revenue back in circulation; instead of buying GOLD, SNOBBY GOLD!

Asshat Mcgeee said...

How do you pronounce "Ritte van Vlaanderen" incorrectly?

Don Walker said...

Snob, you had a custom made to order bike made?

Say it aint so.

Anonymous said...

I just lost 50€ -that's around $500- in American stock funds and here you are bathing in Flemish bikes and faggoty lights. Lob damn you Snob!

I mean you said...

Wait a second! WTF! Reality tv is scripted!

Ritte said...

Was gonna put black tape on there but that light blue bar tape is all we had laying around. True story.

Rowley Birkin, QC said...

My understanding is that the Belgians are so good at English because they refuse to speak whichever national language they were not brought up in - in Ghent they would much rather speak English to you than French. But then I was very, very drunk

Anonymous said...

(1) brief ride on it which was snuffed out quickly by a thunderstorm,

What, it started raining so you had to the bus???

Anonymous said...

"What, it started raining so you had to the bus???"

The keyword he used was Thunder. As in lightning. As in you can end all rides forever (Lob help you).

Anonymous said...

When the Belgian Prime Minister is asked by a journalist to sing the national anthem and he hums the Marseillaise only half kidding, you have the best synthesis of a nation's character.

Ritte said...

Oh my, Television_writer passes such astute judgements! Good job bud, got us pegged. All our frames are actually made from old steel swing sets that we pay some migrant workers to cut apart and weld back together into road frames. Most people don't know the difference but you've figured it out!

But I'm sensing some pent up frustration and hostility that can't just be about Ritte? Don't worry, nobody is born a douche, you'll work through it someday and then maybe you'll be less tense and have friends.

skippy said...

Now I really want to own a Ritte.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Ritte,

Wait, they are? Then how come when I said I wanted swings on it you said you couldn't do that?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

On the Ritte --

I myself palp an expensive custom crabon road frame made by francophones in America's Toupee.

I love it. So there.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the crotch shot, I am now ready to begin my weekend.

Anonymous said...

sweet ritte. I hope Mrs Rock Machine doesn't mind sleeping on the couch for the next few nights while you break in the new ride.

GhostOfTyrone said...

"Two Wheel Life, Episode 2"

Duder 1: Bro, we should vote off Than, he's totally shaving now.

Duder 2: Yeah, I think one of the writers had him do that.

Duder 1: Dude, you can't say that.

Duder 2: Whatever, bro. The writers on this show are such pricks.

Duder 1: I hate internet freedom.

Duder 2: Amen, bro.

Duder 1: Is it okay to think David Beckham has some sweet ink going on?

Duder 2: My ex does.

Duder 1: Word, bro.

Anonymous said...

your zippers down.

A said...

http://road.cc/content/news/40924-video-its-quite-heavy-and-not-very-fast-so-far-wooden-splinterbike-has-new-world


"Proving that triathletes are insane, James Tully piloted an all-up weight of 130Kg to 18kph"

Plain wood is the new bamboo?

Anonymous said...

can you move the knog giveaway to the manhattan side of the bridge? i really try to avoid the outer boroughs if at all possible. thanks and see you on Aug 23rd. I have dibs on the wearable boomer (that was inside your pants).

Anonymous said...

New bike ruined by too much spacer above stem.

SteveL said...

@Miles: you are right, g2sun is a classic road, especially as its used in the Shining: combine that with a Mt Hood ascent and you are half way to be axed to death.

But I must criticise the NYT writer on one small point. It's not that hard. From the east, sustained gentle gradients, good views. From the west, a few more hairpins. Compared to the Alpine or Pyrenees passes: not that hard. In fact, compared to things in California: not that hard. Just fantastic scenery.

It's a pity they have a "No cyclists on the west side during peak hours" rule: why not have a "no people who can't overtake a bicycle safely" rule instead, along with a "No RVs towing a pickup" rule. For some reason we cyclists, who take up less space, are the ones being picked on.

Anonymous said...

Television writer,

you're quite a wit (dim), I'm looking forward to pilot.

mikeweb said...

I'll be a the swag-fest bright and early. Since my 45th birthday is the day after that, I fully expect a giant cake out of which a scantily clad recumbabe will jump.

OK, I'll settle for a pack of skittles and a 4 loko.

crosspalms said...

Wildcat,
Thanks for giving Anthony Weiner the modeling job, he was probably happy to get the work. I hope you let him keep the light.

If television writer is actually a television writer and not just some knucklehead on the Internet like the rest of us, that explains a lot about our national primetime offerings.

Salty and Sore said...

OMG!

I finally had a chance to read BikeSnob today!

And it had a gratuitous Cippo appearance!

And it's payday!

And the sun is actually shining in Seattle!

And it's Friday!!!

[..dude! I think I just commentgasmed. sorry, if I got any on you..]

bikesgonewild said...

...NICE BIKE...

...SNOB DUDE...

...RIDE SAFE...

...SPIN FAST...

solarpos said...

I was truly hoping for a contest since the 23rd is my birthday and flying out to the right coast to have a shot at free knoggy schwag would be cost prohibitive. I'll just have to be happy with my new lower cholesterol levels from my latest getting old blood panel today and forgo knogginess. Unless my spouse asks to get all knoggy and then I'll start strobing.

mott the hoople lyrics by Bowie said...

Television man is crazy saying we're juvenile delinquent wrecks oh man I need tv when I got T Rex oh brother you guessed I'm a dude dad all the young dudes (hey dudes) carry the news (where are ya) boo ga loo dudes (stand up come on) carry the news all the young dudes (I want to hear you) carry the news (I want to see you) boo ga loo dudes ( and I want to talk to all of you) carry the news

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Ritte --

Can you make a frame from an old titanium swing set?

It's not for me.

It's for my dog.

Sometimes he can be such a jerk about what he'll ride.

Anonymous said...

Bicycle flute... only 50 years too late.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9P2V0_p6vE

Doubt Frank bankrolled his projects from anonymous fools.

Inmate 3340772-11E said...

ATTN: Commie Canuck

Glad to hear you were finally released. Knowing how much you dig animals it must really be a bitch not being able to go within a thousand yards of a petting zoo for the next ten years. I guess you.ve finally realized that vicuna bitches cannot be trusted.

PS - Heard about the prison gang rape. Must have been really humiliating. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret.

Anonymous said...

Some of the most amazing disembodied hands and other body parts I have ever seen! That's how they do it in Amehricuh's fauxhawk.

http://www.dekerf.com/gallery.asp

There is even a picture of just a hand. WTF?

Anonymous said...

O.K., the gear freaks are absolutely silent on the Ritte in deference to its owner's stature.

Does anyone else sense something weird about the headtube/fork alignment? The fork is usually directly in line with the headtube. Here, it appears to lead the headtube by a few degrees. Wouldn't the bike understeer into corners, especially at pace?

Craig Calfee said...

Ritte frames suck.

bikesgonewild said...

...@mott the hoople lyrics by bowie...

...that album only had a few good songs on it but 'all the young dudes' is a great rock n' roll song...ian hunter, mick ronson, awesome stuff !!!...

...i'll be hearing that in my mind for the rest of the day...

Buffalo Bill said...

I used to go out with a girl who was on the coke diet. That girl could eat like a horse and never put on a pound.

Also, nice bike, I am jealous.

crosspalms said...

bgw,

Not if I can help it...

This is dedicated to everybody who passed me on my commute home last night:

76 Madones led the Fred parade,
With 110 Colnagos behind.
There were more than a dozen 'bents
Ridden by the 'rents,
There were beards of every shape and kind.

Cyclin' Missy said...

Oh man. I can't imagine why you wouldn't come to Grand Rapids, Michigan to give away your free Knog stuff. Too bad. I would have shown up. ;)

bikesgonewild said...

...@ crosspalms...so, john phillips souza - where are you now ???...

...@mikeweb...happy birthday - you fucking kid...now get offa my lawn...

...& in deference to bsnyc/rtms/wcrm's new ride, i quote supertramp:
...Ritte, you're bloody well ritte
you know you got a ritte to say
Ritte, you're bloody well ritte
you know you got a ritte to say
Ha-ha you're bloody well ritte
you know you're ritte to say
...

...just sayin'...

...& look out prospect park walkers, hikers, joggers n' cyclists of any & all persuasions...'what's ritte will be ridden'...

crosspalms said...

anon 5:13
I've been staring at the bike photo and although I can't say anything useful about the fork, I do wonder why the bike has both a head badge and a butt badge. I hope it's an AYHWDNNSB (all you haters we don't need no stinking badges) badge.

Parrot fancier said...

Budgies? We don't need no stinkin budgies

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

@ anon 5:13; That's common for a straight bladed fork. It puts the axle in the same position as a curved fork, but without the curve.

Television_writer said...

Most of us are riding bikes curated from Taiwanese and Chinese artisans and enjoying them.

Calling Ritte van Stonygarden the Best Made of bike resellers is accurate, yet tantalizingly forbidden here in Canada's nether regions.

Artisanal Bike Life: Episode 3

Duder #1
"Duude! The new Dutch stickers on my Kinesis are raad. I'm going to show them off to my girl along with my newest Star Wars figurine."

Duder #2
"Guurl.... Yah. Hey look ebay has a raad frameset that looks just like the Ritte your Dad the Dentist rides to work for 1/2 the price. Curation in 3...2..1.. Done."

Duder #1
"My Kinesis is zoet."

Aaron just invited me to party at his place.

Bon route to all.

bikesgonewild said...

...& crosspalms ???...

...i counted & there were only 101 colnagos...

...just, well, you know...

bikesgonewild said...

...whoops...on recount, 'cuz we'd be nothing if we weren't accurate, it certainly was 110 colnagoes'...

...consider this a written apology & if i've sung that song to myself a hundred times, i'm 900 colnagos short of the mark...

...damn...you were bloody well ritte...

PawnShop said...

112th. Woo Hoo Hoo, motherfuckers!!

dogmatic transmission said...

sorry if it's been answered already, but will the giveaway be near the "old bike lane that is now a temporary pedestrian walkway" or the "new bike lane"?

GhostOfTyrone said...

"A Very Special Episode of Artisanal Bike Life, presented by someecards Hall of Fame"

Duder 1: You know bro, I've been thinking.

Duder 2: Where is my bong?

Duder 1: That's just it, bro. You're filling a major void.

Duder 2: No comprende.

Duder 1: See, I've realized not only am I a prick, but I play one on t.v. I'm totally harsh for no good reason.

Duder 2: Have you ever really listened to Howard Jones? Like, really, really listened?

Duder 1: Give me a hit of that.

(the next day)

Duder 1: Last night was out of control, dude. I think I'm addicted to the internets, bro.

Duder 2: We're rich!

Duder 1: Naw, let's just be pricks.

Duder 2: Rad!

Anonymous said...

Well, it's going to be nowhere bloody near bloody here, is it?

Despite the multinational cultural extravaganza which is currently ongoing......

Any spare hipster cysts?

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

Professional bike riders should never appear in public or allow themselves to be photographed sans-jersey...bunch of skinny whimps for the waist up.

Also, "hook my root" was a favorite expression for any sort of flute playing where I grew up.

GhostOfTyrone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ian Anderson is my favorite flautist.

Lanterne Rouge said...

Nice ride, Wildcat.

I like the sweet stainless sheen.

g-roc said...

Count me amongst all the other jealous bastards. "Yeah, that Ritte is a total piece of crap. I wouldn't be caught dead riding that. Totally."

I am a real engine said...

"Professional bike riders should never appear in public or allow themselves to be photographed sans-jersey...bunch of skinny whimps for the waist up."

That is what doing extreme distances on a bike does to your body, why do you think, they take testosterone, dhea, and epo to "bulk up".

Welcome to reality.

Freie Fahrt said...

It's great that you've bought or otherwise acquired a truly fredly ride. However, I'm worried about creeping minimalism by association in that 18 MPH, the first site cited in Ritte's alphabetical "approved" blog list, about three spots above BSNYC, uses an explicitly minimalist template. After having scanned the Ritte site, I will not even broach the topic of pretentiousness by association.

Anonymous said...

Shit, I drank 2 gin and tonics and 3/4 a bottle of wine then watched the future of bike navigation video and now I can't get that music out of my head. Left....right....shit....goddam Europop sent me under a fuckin' bus. Time to brush my teeth three times and hope the bed doesn't spin.

mekore said...

SNOB, r u sponsorred by ritte now???

ken e. said...

five to the third! nice looking ride.

POPA WHLI

female mechanic now on duty said...

Your Ritte must have an esoteric grouppo. Something sexy.
Something palpably sublime. Something bespoken of a cycling afficionado. Something understatedly snobbish. Something with the subtle power of GOLD! SNOBBY, GOLD!

french tickler said...

You have good taste ( at least in bikes). Now, get out there and ROLL! SNOBBY, ROLL!

Anonymous said...

Oh Hey Snobby-snob. I think it's time to change the name of your blog to something like: "send me free shit so I can plug it on my site by acting like i'm snubbing it at the same time that i endorse it so you will continue to send me more free shit.com"...you know, kind of like abercrombie and fitch offering to pay people on tv to not wear their stuff.

RudeGirl said...

@ GhostOfTyrone: You make me laugh; you got it down perfectly! @ BSNYC aka WRM: I thought you were anti-bamboo...I must have missed your conversion...(or half-conversion).

Anonymous said...

@anon 12:50

Don't be a playa hayta!

Psycho Flash Dahmer Berkowitz said...

I hereby claim the 10mm velo land speed record. Now known at the 'Metric Ten'. My time was .334657002 10 to the 31st parsec.

Oh! And you can EAT ME while you are at it!!!!!

Metric Ten Land Speed Record Holder said...

What! I have to take a pee test?

GhostOfTyrone said...

@RudeGirl -

Happy to to make you happy.

Bod said...

Jeez, your feet are fugly, maybe get some Rapha socks for those bad boys!

studioe said...

Hotte Ritte Snobbe.

self-obsessed and sexee said...

You shoulda stuffed a sock in it for that Sticky Fingers crotchal shot.

CommieCanuck said...

I think the Canadian Television Writer really is a Canadian Television writer, that explains "Being Erica" and everything else on the CBC.
It's all gone to shit since "Terrance and Phillip" got cancelled.

Anonymous Inmate 3340772-11E, Why don't you write me anymore? I just found out Alpacas are not on the court order.

ffffttt..AHAHAHAHA Uncle Fucka.

bikesgonewild said...

...@anon 12:50pm...awww - mommy didn't love somebody enough when they were little ???...is that what leads to your snarky little inquiries ???...

...never got over those feelings, huh ???...

grog said...

Meredith Wilson, not Sousa.
Recumbabe, not Rip Torn.

Anonymous said...

This is so cool that City Maps has gotten big so quickly! I can't believe they were just mentioned in NY magazine! They totally deserve it.

Fixie Bikes said...

That guy looks so haggard.

Web design firm said...

What a blog I have read. Here you have great opportunity to learn in fabulous manner. Blogger has described everything in very effective manner so that you could get information what you want.

http://www.bestwebchoice.com/

Alat Bantu Wanita said...

greeting all his. before him I am very grateful, I am personally very pleased to be able to come here.
I also want to ride a little specific information there may be no one interested in his friends with the news that I cross right here.
Alat Bantu Sex merupanan sebuah benda yang di buat untuk membantu meningkat kan rangsangan seksual.
Berbagai macam alat bantu sex wanita dapat di temukan di toko jual alat sex wanita.
Selain alat bantu seksual perempuan, Ada juga alat bantu sex pria juga banyak di jumpai toko alat bantu sex pria.
Mainan sex.
Sek toys.
Alat Onani.
Alat bantu wanita.
Alat pembesar penis