BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz and Contest Announcement!

Please note that, starting tomorrow, I will be writing a Giro d'Italia blog for the "Bicycling" website. If you're interested in hot pink Giro action, please follow my Tweeter for links.

As a semi-professional bicycle cycling blogger, everything I do is governed by two guiding principles:

1) To spread happiness and joy to others to the very best of my meager ability;

and

2) To pummel any reference that I find even mildly amusing relentlessly into the ground.

With regard to that second principle, you may have noticed that I make frequent references to the time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet Tridork (or TTTSWRFFTPT), a compelling rider who made his first appearance in a VeloNews ad and who has since materialized countless times in advertisements, flyers, announcements, magazine covers electronics store circulars, email blasts and even PowerPoint presentations both cycling and non-cycling-related:

Indeed, so ubiquitous has the TTTSWRFFTPT become that I have suggested he's well on his way to becoming the very embodiment of bicycle cycling itself, and that he should be rendered as sort of a simplified international symbol. (Think the little men's room guy for example.)

But how to marry my second guiding principle (beat stuff into the ground) with my first guiding principle (spreading joy)? At first glance the two would appear to be at odds. But then I realized something very important:

People like getting stuff.

And then it hit me like a speeding retro-Fred:

Have a contest where people win stuff.

Sure, not everybody likes contests where you win stuff. For example, minimalists hate winning stuff, since winning stuff makes it harder for them to be minimalists. (Perhaps minimalist blogs should start holding contests where the winners have stuff taken away from them.) Still, I refuse to pander to the forces of minimalism, and so I have resolved to hold a contest. But what to give? I'll tell you what--Action Wipes:

Why Action Wipes?

1) All cyclists know wipes are very handy for cleaning up after "epic" rides and/or "epic" pre-race porta-potty visits;

2) Action Wipes are arguably the Chris King headset of personal pre-moistened filth management towels;

3) Action Wipes are endorsed by Liz Hatch:

But most important of all, I just like saying "Action Wipes."

And thus, a contest was born:

Here are the rules:

1) Using your computer or a similar tool, render the TTRFFTPTD as a simplified international symbol for cycling (because this ain't cutting it any more);

2) Email it to me at the address in my profile using the subject line: THERE WILL BE ACTION WIPES. All submissions must be received by next Friday, which is the 13th. (Gasp!)

After that, I will select a winner as well as a first and second loser, all of whom will receive some kind of care package from the generous people at Action Wipes.

Also, I should mention the following:

1) I am receiving no compensation from Action Wipes, beyond the satisfaction of getting to say "Action Wipes" a lot.

2) Please do not ask if you can win one of Liz Hatch's used Action Wipes. That's just wrong.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. (The quiz is mercifully short to allow you adequate time for contest symbol curation, Giro viewing preparation, or even actual bicycle cycling if you go in for that sort of thing.) As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's just fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see Messenger vs. Fred (via Stephane).

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and happy wiping.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Fill in the blank: Testicles ________

--Massaging

--Relaxing

--Descending

--Rejoicing

2) Three what please?

--Feet

--Meters

--Metres

--Testicles

3) What kind of bike is he riding?

--A Serotta

--A Cervelo

--A Softride

--A recumbent

(Large frontal cooling vent for core temperature management.)

4) Levi's is working on a cycling-specific "Canadian tuxedo."

--True

--False

5) "Ride a bike, save ______."

--Time

--Gas money

--The Earth

--A bear

(American Gothic)

6) Jim and Jane are two lovely people who want to take you straight to:

--Denmark

--France

--Holland

--Hell