Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: The Case for Gravel

In yesterday's post, I mentioned the following graffito, which I spotted in the controversial Prospect Park West bike lane in Brooklyn, New York (an area first settled by the Dutch in the 17th century and named "Breuckelen," which means "Place of the Hipster"):

While I was initially puzzled as to the author's intent, I subsequently noticed another message scrawled just a few feet ahead and in the same hand. This message clarified matters considerably:

I now see that person think bikepath is dum, and that same person also want bike go on streets. If bike go on streets we no need bikepath. This why bikepath dum.

Regardless of where you stand on bike lanes (which, if you're a New Yorker, is probably right in the middle of them, as you'll soon see), you've got to admit this is elegant reasoning. While I support bike lanes, the truth is that in practice they don't always work as well as those digitally-rendered "livable streets" imaginings you see on Streetsblog. This is because New York is a crowded city, and our pedestrians (meaning, really, all of us) are innately compelled towards broad thoroughfares on which to perambulate. Obviously we cannot do this where there is heavy motor vehicle traffic, but as soon as that traffic is removed it's inevitable that this reclaimed pavement becomes flypaper for shoppers:

Avid recyclers:

And postal workers:

Not to mention joggers, Rollerbladers, skateboarders, professional dog walkers, private dog walkers, operators of motorized wheelchairs, nannies playing "fast and loose" with other peoples' babies, "hipsters" on those stupid Puch mopeds, and any other person bearing a sizable load, operating any vehicle that is not a car, or engaged in an activity that requires ample room for limb-swinging. In addition, there is of course the often less-than-ideal behavior of the cyclists themselves. Consider this hard-hitting local news bike lane behavior exposé (via Streetsblog), which takes many of these factors into account:

By the way, note this commuter's iPhone placement:

I guess when he needs to take a call he just cocks his head to the left.

Note also that whenever a video camera is switched on in any city in America, a "fixie" rider will immediately enter the frame and gratuitously dart in front of a truck:

In any case, New York is a city in transition--a place in which an aggressive and survivalist riding style is being rendered moot by a cycling-friendly infrastructure, yet at the same time a place where many cyclists disregard that infrastructure because they're enamored with the aggressive and survivalist riding style of yesteryear. For this reason, giving New Yorkers a bike-friendly infrastructure can sometimes seem futile, like when I give my helper monkey Vito a fork at dinner and he just scratches himself with it before putting his face right back in the mashed potatoes. At the same time, those who do want to use the bike-friendly infrastructure often can't, due to the idling trucks and waddling shoppers and avid recyclers. I mean, I prefer to use a fork, but it's a lot less appetizing when it's been down a monkey's pants.

Still, I support bike lanes, but it's clear we need a real-world solution the aforementioned problems. Fortunately, I have one, and that solution is gravel:

I strongly believe that every bike lane and bridge crossing in New York City should be graveled immediately. Firstly, gravel would make it nearly impossible to ride a skateboard or push a shopping cart in the bike lane. Secondly, gravel bike lanes would probably eliminate almost all brakeless fixed-gear riding within a week. Consider this rider I encountered recently:

It's become an all-too-familiar scenario: as you're riding up the bridge, you're passed by a brakeless track bike rider in the standard "hipster" out-of-the-saddle-with-hands-on-the-bar-tops climbing position. Then, just when you think you've seen the last of him, you get stuck behind him on the downhill as he slowly grinds himself to a halt, weaving and skip-stopping and taking up two lanes of traffic, as pictured above. However, if this bridge crossing were graveled, he'd almost certainly give up his ways after the very first evening spent picking small rocks out of his thigh.

By the way, take a closer look at that frame:

At almost $4,000 for the frame and fork this is the perfect set-up for "killing it" on your urban commute:

We really need more secure bicycle parking in New York City so people can continue to use exotic professional-level racing bicycles as everyday transportation.

In addition to discouraging pedestrians with small-wheeled contraptions and riders on brakeless bicycles with narrow tires, gravel bike lanes would also rid the city of roadies, who lock up their arms and crash at the mere mention of the word. Meanwhile, riders of tank-like Dutch bikes would be largely unaffected by gravel--though I'm not sure that's a good thing. Consider this fashionisto executing the classic crosswalk-to-salmon maneuver:

In fact, the gravel could make Dutch bikes even more popular. This would lead to even more shady street-level Dutch bike dealing, which is already on the rise:

"Back in the day," it was impossible to walk the streets of downtown Manhattan without hearing the constant call of the drug dealer. Now, the whispered entreaties of "Smoke, smoke?" have given way to, "Pssst, wanna buy a Dutch bike?"

(She'll be strung out on "cycle chic" before the Vogue September issue is off the stands.)

It's like "The Wire," only with more espadrilles. By the way, if you're a "cycle chic" addict, you may have noticed that those aren't necessarily Dutch bikes, strictly speaking--which is fitting, since "back in the day" most of that "Wednesday weed" wasn't what they said it was either.

Also, I admit that the ongoing problem of "shoaling" would probably also be relatively unaffected by gravel:


Here is a truly "epic" shoal that formed in front of me recently:

With the exception of the gentleman in the purple shirt (he must be another minimalist, since they love purple), behind whom I duly stopped in accordance with the unwritten rules of society, all of these riders arrived after I did, venturing as far into the intersection as they dared in order to get the coveted Manhattan Bridge holeshot.

I was even repeatedly shoaled recently by a rider on some kind of electric contraption:

I'm not sure what his vocation was, but there's just something about the electric bike, cargo shorts, and plaid backpack that suggests "marijuana delivery person."

At no point, however, was I shoaled by anybody riding a bamboo bike. By the way, according to this video which was forwarded to me by a reader, bamboo is a great material for bicycles as long as you don't get it wet or leave it in the sun:


Watch this video on YouTube


Also, it's apparently "sustainable," even though the stuff bolted to it is no different from the stuff bolted to any other bike made out of any other material. Honestly, while I certainly begrudge no man his woodworking project, in terms of environmental impact I'm not really sure how this is any different than putting wood veneer on your IRO.

Show me a bamboo headset, then I'll be impressed.

128 comments:

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ant1 said...

hell yeah!

ant1 said...

full podium?

ant1 said...

when i'm on, i'm on.

tail said...

mullett

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No comment.

stovtop said...

huff...huff..yeah

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice ant1.

tail said...

@Ant1 i think it's pretty clear what is going on here

PawnShop said...

Meh 1st!

hillbilly said...

Ant1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tia

Surly Bastard said...

Top ten?

agent detroit said...

shit. late to the gate...

Bad Lawyer said...

Shoaling!

ringcycles said...

non-ant top ten. Good work today Ant1. Hell of a breakaway when you can zip up the jersey and celebrate like that.

shoegazer said...

ant1!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Bamboo bike vid. Looks like Boston to me. Don't let him get near my pet panda that I keep at Mass General Hospital.

db said...

Gravel would be the minimalist's road surface of choice, no?

Surly Bastard said...

"She'll be strung out on Cycle Chic before the next Vogue ... drops." Beauty, snob.

old hipster said...

I saw a dude on a Look track bike with Mavic wheelset (and Brooks Saddle) on the Williamsburg the other day. He was using those toe straps you sort of shove your sneaker into, which I believe were favorably reviewed here recently.

I don't even want to know how much that setup cost.

While I understand the appeal of commuting on a 14 lb bike, I have to say I'd be embarrassed to be that guy.

Also, what good is it when you either have to carry 10 lbs of locks, or you're out $200 any time someone filches a single part from your rig.

Is a $3000 single speed brakeless commuter bike minimalist?

Is there such a thing as cheapist?

agent detroit said...

@ old hipster-fuck yeah! it's me!

Astroluc said...

Bamboo Shoals...

Surly Bastard said...

As to the sprint for the podium I think ant1 came off his line unfairly blocking other racers, and should be relegated by race officials. Then, again, with that many legs all spinning around it's hard to keep the bike straight, ain't it, ant1?

ant1 said...

i'd love to take credit for my performance today, but it actually was the work of the cycling gods. for the first time in its 18 month existence, my track bike will be heading to the velodrome tonight. this full podium is my heavenly reward.

one less poser

tgs said...

On a recent cycling trip in the Netherlands I rode through Breukelen. It's full of giant houses with extravagant gardens.

Anonymous said...

I dunno about the gravel idea dissuading roadies. I just spent a weekend riding my road bike on gravel paths and I loved it.

Cool The Kid said...

Commuting by bike is srs bsns

The dude with the Iphone shoulder strap probably had the app called "iBomb", which is kind of like an Iphone rally navigator for fixed gear riders through urban streets. Frightening trend? Reports of hipsters "iBombing" blindfolded for gang initiations to show their faith in "iTech". Only a matter of time....

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure that shady duch bike dealer is actually peddling Chinese or Indian bikes which are like Dutch bikes except they have elliptical wheels and rod brakes that don't work when it's wet (or dry)

Ryan said...

At first glance, the guy at the front of the "epic" shoal photo looks like he's only wearing red underwear which I find hilarious.

Anonymous said...

thanks for reminding me that I need to be a little more respectful of others in my daily commute. It would probably help make the world a better place. One problem that keeps me from doing so is the complete disregard that drivers, walkers, rollers, runners, shoppers, tourists, recyclers, mimes, pigeons, etc have for bikers and the bike lane, as you point out so eloquently. So I usually am riding in a hypersensitive passive aggressive mindset, which makes it really hard to be respectful and to follow the "share the road" rules. Which leads to behaviour such as approaching a clueless pedestrian who has wrongfully invaded MY bikelane, usually in some smart phone induced oblivion, at full speed only to veer away at the very last second with a wildly yelled warning of something like "wake the fuck up asshole!". I regret this behavior. but do it everyday. maybe i should take the subway? I shoal therefore I am.

ringcycles said...

The gravel bike path idea is just BSNYC's freudian slip revealing his cyclocross fetish. We are so close to September that I can almost smell embrocation. But do you really want thousands of NY hipsters trading Cinelli's for Ridleys? and Aerospokes for Dugasts just to commute? Oh, the horror.

Anonymous said...

is perambulate pretentious for walking?

hillbilly said...

have fun ant1, you'll love it, it's great fun..

hillbilly said...

ant1 - DLV? I'm going to try to come down there for a race before the end of the season (11 more weeks?)

mikeweb said...

CP was pretty civilized today. On my way to work up 6th ave this morning, I encountered a female salmon - of course weaving around a truck parked in the bike to boot. As we passed I calmly asked her if she was trying to kill me.

ant1 said...

hillbilly - yep, DLV. there's a pro madison race the 11th of sep. if i remember correctly. i plan on being there.

Anonymous said...

$275 catlike helmet on the $4000 commuter

hellbelly said...

Gravel?!? Brilliant!!! It will not stop any shoaling, but certainly toughen up any two wheeled riders that hang out thereafter. New York could become the next Paris-Roubaix...it already could, just do not tell anyone.

PawnShop said...

@old hipster:

Cheapist recipe:
In a large bowl, mix 2 parts commuter with 1 part retrogrouch. Steal a $2000 bike from the result, and replace it with a crappy used mountain bike. Renew chain & cassette. Add fenders, lights, and street tires. Bake at 4:20 for several hours on a Wednesday. Decorate to taste.

Now you have a cheapist.

Anonymous said...

HEAD COCK

BUTT KEYS

HOLE SHOT

GRVL FACE PLNT <-using toes

CommieCanuck said...

"30% of greenhouse gas emissions come from motor vehicles in the US".

The other 70%? you guessed it, hemp/bamboo bike manufacture and electric beard trimmers.

Anonymous said...

ringcycles-
I think you hit on it there... the hipsters would actually love the gravel. Imagine it: an excuse to have a 2nd set of wheels. Think of the street cred you'd get for picking the right pair for that day's epic skinny iced mocha chai latte run!

JTK said...

bamboo bike boy's smug smile inspires injurious impact

g said...

Isn't Bamboo an invasive species? I know that around here, it's frowned upon given it grows so fast and aggressively and is really hard to kill once you don't want it anymore.
But, hey, in that respect, it's sustainable.

Katie said...

I work in the bike world and we recently received a bamboo bike that had catastrophically failed. The cyclist was riding downhill, hit a bump, and the entire front end of the bike snapped off. Both the top tube and the down tube snapped, leaving him with a front wheel, fork, headset, and handlebars no longer attached to the rear of the bike.

He's still alive, last I heard.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Conundrum well put:
In any case, New York is a city in transition--a place in which an aggressive and survivalist riding style is being rendered moot by a cycling-friendly infrastructure, yet at the same time a place where many cyclists disregard that infrastructure because they're enamored with the aggressive and survivalist riding style of yesteryear. For this reason, giving New Yorkers a bike-friendly infrastructure can sometimes seem futile, like when I give my helper monkey Vito a fork at dinner and he just scratches himself with it before putting his face right back in the mashed potatoes. At the same time, those who do want to use the bike-friendly infrastructure often can't, due to the idling trucks and waddling shoppers and avid recyclers. I mean, I prefer to use a fork, but it's a lot less appetizing when it's been down a monkey's pants.
(Boston is similarly addled in the silverware area when it comes to the ever growing bike lane infrastructure)

Major part of the solution:
Start obeying the traffic signals, folks. You can't spit fire at the driver of a car if you are also not adhering to the rules.

Floyd said...

Ant1 is on EPO, I swear...

Anonymous said...

Hey whatever happen to that redneck guy that used to post here from a "libary" or somnething? i dont think i have seen a post from him in a while...

wle said...

yeah the bamboo thing seems silly to me

dangerous

expensive

how 'sustainable' is it really, if your frame snaps every year or 2

wle

ervgopwr said...

Shut it floyd ^^^

It's really just an ant swarm on our daily picnic of snark.

BMBU HDST

And what of your epoxy, no off-gasing there?

Just ride and shut it. Like floyd.

Massive Epicosity said...

Actually, bamboo is grass, not wood. Because grass grows more quickly than wood and uses far fewer resources, it is more "sustainable." From the authoritative Wikipedia:

"Bamboo is a group of perennial evergreens in the true grass family Poaceae, subfamily Bambusoideae, tribe Bambuseae. Giant bamboos are the largest members of the grass family."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamboo

GRAS HOLE

EPIC GRAS

Anonymous said...

It's good to see the $4000 commuter wore an aero kit to maximize those precious watts.

chris.x.jackson said...

Love it "For this reason, giving New Yorkers a bike-friendly infrastructure can sometimes seem futile, like when I give my helper monkey Vito a fork at dinner and he just scratches himself with it before putting his face right back in the mashed potatoes. "

chris.x.jackson said...

Love it "For this reason, giving New Yorkers a bike-friendly infrastructure can sometimes seem futile, like when I give my helper monkey Vito a fork at dinner and he just scratches himself with it before putting his face right back in the mashed potatoes. "

ant1 said...

anon 1:59 - he stopped by yesterday

CommieCanuck said...

The cyclist was riding downhill, hit a bump, and the entire front end of the bike snapped off. Both the top tube and the down tube snapped, leaving him with a front wheel, fork, headset, and handlebars no longer attached to the rear of the bike.

Shame there is no video, I picture a guy in cutoff jean shorts, Birkenstocks, a tie-dyed t-shirt listening to Phish on his iPod.

The best part about bamboo bikes is that the tubing can be recycled to make bamboo crutches and wheelchairs.

grog said...

antone, anttwo, antthree, antfour.

Love the sound of a faceplant on gravel.

I had a bamboo bike.
I also had a pet panda.
I now hava an Aluminum bike,
and a cat that won't eat metal.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

CommieCanuck said...

Everyone's on the bamboo wagon, seen here in secret island testing, the new GM Gorobama .

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Friend of mine has a Calfee Bamboo bike:
The bike is pretty sweet - not even too heavy, rides well, and is of course a nice conversation starter. Rain is not an issue. Overall kind of a cool thing.
...despite the fact we now call him Gilligan

Anonymous said...

I was suprised to see one fixie rider actually stopped at the light standing on both feet and not showing off doing a trackstand in the pics.Wow is he out of touch.Talk about going against the grain.You wouldnt believe how many newjack posers are riding fixies at my college.Yesterday as I was taking a break on the 2nd floor balcony I saw one douche just salmoning on his brand new Bianchi pista w matching celeste wheels through the students w no destination but to impress his fellow students.I watched him about 5 minutes parading for attention no hands through the campus.He ended up where he started at the overfilled bike rack to park his brand new machine along with all the other poseurs.I was impressed.

Anonymous said...

Cut your nails dood. You've got sissy hands.

fedup said...

yes, some of these people are ridiculous, and deserve to be made fun of. however, last anon, you've just mocked a guy for a completely harmless spin around the block. college student do something stupid and pointless??!! No!!! say it ain't so!

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:26pm:
Well put! Passive-aggressive is indeed my MO as I ride to work.

CommieCanuck said...

Yesterday as I was taking a break on the 2nd floor balcony I saw one douche just salmoning on his brand new Bianchi pista w matching celeste wheels through the students w no destination but to impress his fellow students.I watched him about 5 minutes parading for attention no hands through the campus.He ended up where he started at the overfilled bike rack to park his brand new machine along with all the other poseurs.I was impressed.

Dude...Fall semester doesn't start for two weeks..put down the bong.

bikesgonewild said...

...you funny, bikesnob guy...talk like hulk...hulk no have problem w/ bike salmon...hulk smash...

...hulk always have clear bike lane or hulk smash everything in way...

...hulk like to ride tarck bike...

kfg said...

"I guess when he needs to take a call he just cocks his head to the left."

Nu-Wilma on a two way almost took me out like this. She was on the phone, hand held, as she approached me, wanted both hands on the bars for "safety" to make the pass, so she put the phone on her shoulder and cocked her head to keep it there; and promptly steered in the direction of her cocked head which was NOT to the off path side.

@ Old Hipster - "Is there such a thing as cheapist?"

Schwinn Del Mar cruiser from Wal-Mart. No, really. Hell of a commuter/city bike - once you strip it down and repack everything. Worst case scenario you'll want to swap the back wheel for a Shimano/CR18 setup.

3G said...

OMAR CUMN

Baltimore had Hamsterdam
Brooklyn has Hipstertdam

BOO YA

leroy said...

Is it just me or does today's podium remind anyone else of the maxim that you never see just one ant at a picnic?

Congrats Ant1!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of roadies and gravel not mixing: link

Anonymous said...

did the Eye Doctor explain the recovery exercises for observing that unholy creature off the left shoulder of the purple shirt? My vision would be blurry for days after witnessing this retched and vile scene...the agony in unbearable observing on a small screen!!!! too witness such a thing in real life and live to tell the tale is herculean

g said...

I wish I could say I was surprised that Hincapie crashed out of a race, but that's not really true.

Anonymous said...

I gotta whistle
but it wooden whistle

I gotta steel whistle
but it steel wooden whistle

so I gotta tin whistle
and now I tin whistle

BAMB OO!!

Anonymous said...

unless it us just a fanny pack and the color of slacks giving the impression of something hideous

Tex said...

I'm pretty sure that's Captain Underpants.

Anonymous said...

Yay Antoine! Pucker up, you're gonna be busy for a while.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately all of you were so blinded by the fixed rider's bike to notice his $260 cut-off nudie jeans.

Let's get our priorities straight, people!

Albuquerque Chicken said...

Didn't we learn in kindergarten not to cut in line? Or is it just best not to speak to a shoaler.

Anonymous said...

please give me one advantage a bamboo bike has over the standard materials? something real, not the environment, do you really think you are making any tangible impact on the enviroment by purchasing such a silly thing? seriously. if you have a bamboo bike but everything else on it is man made what's the point, other than advertising that you are a complete douchebag. bottom line, bamboo bikes are dum!

steampunk said...

douche has a $300 helmet to go with the $4000 tarck bike. not sure there is anything worth protecting up there.

sarliaee said...

I made a bamboo headset, i've also made a bamboo self sense of sumgness, but it doesn't work as well as my bamboo headset.

Morgan said...

If the rails to trails folk had left the old ballast behind, RTMS would have his wish in some places. My route to drop my kid off @ school crosses abandoned, but unimproved Union Pacific Railroad tracks and that gravel wants to eat my Kojaks. I take the wife's bike with hairy tires some days.

They can't officially leave it unimproved because, whoops, UPRR left some arsenic [PDF] & other nasties along with the gravel, so they're going to cap it or dig it up before finishing the trail.

leroy said...

Anon 5:57--

You want like one advantage? Dude, like that is so totally easy.

If like the frame should like fail or crack or something, you can like make a really, really awesome bong.

Can't do that with like aluminum, steel or carbon.

Only problem is like you will so go through a stack of energy gels while vegging out in front of the TV.

kfg said...

"Can't do that with like aluminum, steel or carbon."

Noob.

Anonymous said...

"venturing as far into the intersection as they dared in order to get the coveted Manhattan Bridge holeshot"

Freakin hilarious. I get so tired of the NYC shoaling stupidity. It's constant and predictible. I need a hint, Snob: do you ever say anything to these idiots? If so, what? I mean, people hate cyclists enough already. And the other day at 23rd and 1st, there were FOUR cyclists directly in the crosswalk at rush hour with dozens of pedestrians trying to navigate them. F'n dolts.

Turd Ferguson said...

Katie 1:51

Sounds like it might have been termites.

I guess the bambu bike has to be kept away from water, sun, pandas, termites and herbicides.

lonewolf said...

GRAVEL!!

Fixed Scorcher said...

Seems as though the whole shoaling thing is pretty common on all bike paths including the ones here on the Cape. Especially during the summer me and my crew are always dodging and veering around random people with dogs or strollers taking up both lanes..a lot of them seem to have New York accents. I literally endo-d into a family of tourists who reprimanded me in portugese..not to mention the old-money flakes who wander around in a Zoloft cloud behind there over exuberant Yellow Labradors who love to greet bikes traveling at 20 plus...They are called bike paths for a reason! Cyclists aren't innocent either..especially those who like to pause for a moment in the lane..You don't stop your car in the street randomly right? I'm wicked pissed..

Anonymous said...

大陸包二奶問題對台商家庭是一種重大衝擊,
在台灣抓姦的困難度原本就很高,何況是大陸抓姦
於是許多人面對丈夫包二奶卻由於大陸抓姦的困難重重而遲遲不敢大陸抓姦
專業私家偵探協助您解決大陸抓姦問題,
熟悉內地法律、豐沛人脈關係,能夠協助您成功大陸抓姦

Anonymous said...

入行多年,很多人一聽我是個女子偵探,總難免好奇的詢問。
其實會當起女子偵探也是誤打誤撞;
當初老公外遇我求助無門,找上徵信社,
但是面對男性徵信人員,許多話總難以啟齒。
後來我離婚了,卻當了女子偵探
因為我知道很多人面對女子偵探總是會比較安心;
每當聽見客戶的委屈,我總想起當初的自己,
能夠幫客戶解決問題,很多時候真的不僅僅是成就感而已,
更多了助人的快樂。現在我也有了論及婚嫁的男友,
他也很贊成我女子偵探的工作,現在我不僅更有自信,
也更懂得如何保鮮即將到來的婚姻生活!

Anonymous said...

男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚
外遇情人面前,他可以享受著年輕戀愛般的美好
在回歸家庭時刻,他可以享受著老婆對他無微不至的照顧
在同事朋友面前,他可以享受著眾人對他的忌妒與羨慕
男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚,他只想自私的擁有一切

Anonymous said...

讓我們為您解決外遇蒐證問題;
我們有經驗豐富的外遇蒐證人員,
並且配有先進科技器材可以即時外遇蒐證
加上認真負責的態度,
每個外遇蒐證委託都會徹底跟蹤蒐證!
誠信、專業、保密,是我們的辦案原則,
把您外遇蒐證的需求安心的交給我們!

Anonymous said...

專業外遇調查服務,為您查清伴侶行蹤、第三者背景,
專業外遇調查給您詳實的答案!
您或許忙碌的分身乏術無法自行外遇調查
外遇調查的問題交給我們;
您所想要知道的,讓我們專業外遇調查服務徹底調查清楚!

Anonymous said...

你想要離婚,卻不顧多年夫妻的情份。
我知道,是因為你有了外遇。
你寧願把錢滿足她所有慾望,卻不願意多給贍養費!
難道真的要抓姦你才會付出你所應該付出的?
其實我真的不願意去抓姦的,我不願意看到她占據屬於我的位置,
然而如果不抓姦,我就無法拿到我應得的權益!
或許是想要報復吧,或許真的心灰了,
或許我想要看看被抓姦的你們驚慌失措的面孔,
我鼓起了勇氣,打了徵信社的電話:我要抓姦

Anonymous said...

曾經你也愛她的一切,如今卻因為有了婚外情,一切都變成了缺點。
婚外情甜蜜嗎?
因為少了柴米油鹽的破壞,所以婚外情份外浪漫!
婚外情有趣嗎?
因為時間極其寶貴不夠深刻了解對方,所以婚外情份外新鮮!

Anonymous said...

兒子交了個女友,我和老伴都不是很喜歡;
豐富社會歷練的我們一眼就看出這女生不如表現的單純,
但是兒子卻總是認為我們想太多。
朋友提議不如做婚前徵信調查看看,
希望兒子不要被騙,於是我們決定私下做婚前徵信
婚前徵信的結果才發現原來女方不僅交友複雜、晚上更做傳播兼差!
兒子看了婚前徵信的報告之後,才知道原來女友的乖巧全都是假象;
兒子說幸好有我們有做婚前徵信,不然等結婚之後才發現,一定又是一段不幸福的婚姻!

Anonymous said...

通姦問題在台灣相當嚴重,
最重要的原因就是因為許多人總是忍氣吞聲,
而導致通姦的人不認為自己通姦的行為有錯!
錯誤的行為應該制止,伴侶通姦不該姑息!
通姦問題,讓專家協助您順利解決!

Anonymous said...

專業感情挽回服務,多年婚姻諮詢經驗點出婚姻問題所在,
提供正確感情挽回方法!當事人往往看不清盲點,
想要感情挽回更不得要領,導致失敗的感情挽回
讓我們提供專業諮詢與感情挽回服務,
協助您擊退第三者、成功感情挽回、重拾婚姻的幸福春天!

Anonymous said...

徵信的本質是追求真相!
太多人被蒙在鼓裡最後喪失權益而不自知,您的權益讓徵信為您守護!
不要傻傻的坐以待斃,專業徵信協助您反擊!
所有您想知道的,讓徵信為您調查清楚!
想要知道真相,讓徵信用實際證據為您解答!

Anonymous said...

徵信協會是非營利為目的的徵信團體,
我們徵信協會有專業豐富的徵信經驗、博學實務的法學能力,
秉持熱誠負責的服務態度,以及解決民眾問題為己任的精神,
是您可以放心信賴的優質徵信協會
您是否面臨各種問題苦惱不知如何解決?
想要委託徵信社卻又擔心成為徵信社眼中的肥羊?
徵信協會是您可以信賴的機構,
徵信協會幫助您解決各種徵信問題!

Anonymous said...

妹妹進了徵信社工作,說實在的當初家人超反對,深怕妹妹學壞!
然而三年過去了,常常聽妹妹提起徵信社的事情,
其實我才發現,有只想坑錢的業者,當然也有值得信賴的徵信社
而且之前親戚還因為要做個人情,委託妹妹做婚前徵信,
這才知道對方根本就是愛情騙子!
現在大家都知道我有個在徵信社工作的妹妹,
親戚朋友不管外遇抓姦離婚還是各種問題,
都會請妹妹的徵信社幫忙,
我們笑說:有個在徵信社工作的家人,
任何居心不良的人絕對無所遁形!

Anonymous said...

結婚率愈來愈低,離婚的比率卻愈來愈高!
昔日的七年之癢,現在已經縮短至兩三年!
離婚變成極可能的選項,您該怎樣維護自身權益?
想要離婚,夫妻財產怎麼分配?
想要離婚,我可以拿到贍養費嗎?
想要離婚,子女監護權會屬於誰?
這些問題您夠清楚嗎?
離婚往往是撕破臉的局面,不要奢望對方還會為您設想!
讓專家幫您解決問題,幫助您拿到屬於的一切、漂亮離婚

leroy said...

Kfg at 6:54 --

Like whoa man, are you like any relation to like kfc cause I could like totally slay some extra crispy if you could like, you know, get a discount or something.

Toby X said...

so i got pulled over on 2nd ave today, by an officer citing a new york post article about cyclists terrorizing pedestrians. i was riding in traffic, instead of the bike lane, as i am prone to do since the bike lane is so often filled with the folks cited in this post along with cabs and parked vehicles. i genuinely feel safer riding in traffic than in the bike lane there.

thing is, while the cop said she pulled me over for running a red light - she told me that the bike laws stated that not only was i not allowed to elect to ride in traffic instead of the bike lane, i am not allowed to travel on any streets that do not have bike lanes. i asked her to clarify this, and she restated that it is illegal to ride on streets that do not have bike lanes. i haven't gone to the trouble of looking this up, but has anybody else heard this? anybody read this post article?

Anonymous said...

Incidentally in Bologna, Italy the drug dealers and bike dealers are one and the same alternating between fumo (smoke) and bici (bike) as they pass you in the street.

kfg said...

Leroy: ". . .are you like any relation to like kfc . . ."

No man, but if you take a few more hits you might be able to get into some batter fried gerbil. All out of extra-crispy at the moment, the TIG machine is down.

e.spanner said...

Did anyone else notice the horrendous creaking of the bamboo bike in the final exit scene? Those are some confidence inspiring noises.

Seeing the hemp fiber in the video made me wonder if you could harvest hipster mustaches to make your own bamboo bike; that would be super sustainable.

I wonder how the bamboo bike handles no handed? he didn't mention jigs or alignment concerns in his list of tools.

Sandra said...

Alright- did anyone think that guy has an iphone holder but no iphone? The shadows look a little suspicious. Perhaps he is truly a minimalist and has only the iphone arm strap, iphone wiping cloth, but no iphone.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Sorry about the late post. but I have been otherwise engaged today.

The kid on the Anchor frame? I have known him for a while, and for what it is worth, he is a stand-up guy. He relocated from Vegas to NYC about a year ago.

He got the Anchor frame in a trade for $24 and some beads, but has not
labelled it "New Amsterdam." He certainly did not pay $4,000.00 for it.

He's a skilled photographer, and if you see him on the streets of Manhattan, tell him that the old Vegas CM crew says "Hi."

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...

...congratulations on your engagement...

...ant1...

...please don't do that again...i came home late at night having forgotten about your ttt-like sweep, kicked on the computer, & in seeing 4 large ants, i sprayed 'black flag' on them before realizing it was simply your avatar, 4 X over...

...for sale: - nice 'dell' laptop...used only for blogging, porn & threatening e-mails...slight fragrance but guaranteed 'bug' free...inquire - bgw@gee,mail...

sherpa said...

One advantage that bamboo has over other materials....

It is there... if you live in a 3rd world country and need to make a bike. The epoxy, on the other hand, you'll have to make out of straw and feces.

It would be interesting to see what the actual environmental difference is between all that epoxy which won't break down any time soon and an easily and cheaply recyclable steel frame. I mean, when you get done with the bamboo you have those joints sitting around forever. With steel it all goes back into the furnace.

Take into account the lifespan of the frame (few decades for steel vs ?? for bamboo?) and my intuition says steel is a "greener" choice.

Unless you live in an area with no readily available steel tubes but vast fields of bamboo and burritos for making epoxy.

Anonymous said...

What is up with close-up photos of male hands in cycling related blogs or magazines and unkempt, long ass, nasty fingernails??? Is the guys hand carassing the gravel planning on a scratch fight with a chick later on? Gross.

ddartley said...

Here's the solution to many of the bike lane problems you describe:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10798592@N08/1414440531/

ant1 said...

to all of you who have toyed with the idea of track riding, do it, now. it's awesome.

Anonymous said...

ant1,

you are overposting, and a douche.
that is all.

kfg said...

". . .my intuition says steel is a "greener" choice."

It is also "renewable." Nickel carbon steel literally falls out of the sky by the ton, although recovery does present some problems for most of it.

ant1 said...

anon 12:16 - tell me something i don't know.

Crispin 'Catlike' said...

Woah woah woah. Woah. The catlike "doucherati" helmet is a fine piece of kit and I would recommend it to anyone who gravitates to call themselves a cyclist.

MTB! said...

Gravel roads will bring back the hardtail/rigid mountain bike as the all-purpose transportation cycle. Props to the dishwasher commuters who never jumped on the Urban Bike trend!

mmann1123 said...

Wow, a lot of teen-angst going on in NYC, some funny, some shitty. You should all consider spending more time doing the things you love, and less time criticizing. As the douche-bag (self-reported) in the bamboo bike video I would like to say that I built the thing because I wanted to build a bike, and I can't weld. Can you? Hell what other bike can your build from scratch in your basement?

So instead of bashing it all willy-nilly, man-up and build your own.

bamboobike.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

結婚率愈來愈低,離婚的比率卻愈來愈高!
昔日的七年之癢,現在已經縮短至兩三年!
當離婚變成極可能的選項,您該怎樣維護自身權益?
想要離婚,夫妻財產怎麼分配?
想要離婚,我可以拿到贍養費嗎?
想要離婚,子女監護權會屬於誰?
這些問題您夠清楚嗎?
離婚往往是撕破臉的局面,不要奢望對方還會為您設想!
讓專家幫您解決問題,幫助您拿到屬於的一切、漂亮離婚!

ffbb said...

bike snob, please investigate the girl on this green bike.

http://italiancyclingjournal.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

in my opinion LA streets are the craziest, NY has no hills its always gridlocked with cars not going anywhere, SF is an awesome cycling city and bikes are much more accepted there than LA.
As far as the quotes in the trailers for to live and ride being crazier than those city's i thought was absolutely stupid, specially with a movie that did not portray that as such. All that movie did was show us that Keo had a good summer in LA.
I guess my expectations were bigger for this movie as i only enjoyed MR. QUICK's part and HERN's BMX part.
Anyways I hope someone in LA decides to make a movie that shows how LA people really ride.

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fixie bikes said...

That guy is totally a minimalist.

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