BSNYC Friday Farm Quiz!

(Via a reader, the Four Recumbent Riders of the Meh-pocalypse.)

Like many people, I have dreams. Not, "Oh, no, I'm back in middle school, I have a social studies test, and I'm naked" dreams, but "It sure would be wonderful if someday..." dreams. For example, one thing I often dream of is a future in which we all live together in joy, peace and harmony. Another thing I dream about is a worldwide uprising in which we join together to savagely kill everyone who has ever wronged us--resulting, of course, in the aforementioned new age of joy, peace and harmony. But most of all--more than peace, and more than bloodbaths--I dream that George Hincapie will win Paris-Roubaix, which takes place this Sunday.

From what I've seen in "ethnic" movies, there's a portion of the so-called "Passover Seder" in which the youngest child asks, "Why is this different from all other nights?" The answer of course, is that on this night they eat fish that is decidedly more gelatinous than usual. Similarly, you may be wondering, "Why is this year different from all other years?," meaning that George Hincapie has been riding professionally for something like 40 years already without having won Paris-Roubaix, so why would he suddenly win now? Well, there are a few reasons. First of all, he's on a new team. Second of all, he's got a special USPRO kit that makes him look like he's advertising a holiday sale at a car dealership or mattress chain. But most importantly, he's got "full gas:"

Hincapie has had a new team before, and he's also been USPRO Champion before, but he's arguably never had that extra burst of flatulence a rider needs in order to power himself over those [insert number here] sectors of punishing cobbles. Not only is "full gas" propulsive, but it also discourages hangers-on, making it that much more likely Hincapie will enter the fabled "Ruby Velodrome" (not to be confused with the "Emerald City," which is full of "hipsters" but does not have a velodrome) alone for a commanding solo victory. Really, as long as his bike doesn't fall apart (again), or he doesn't accept any bidons containing dissolved Gas-X tablets, or he doesn't simply choose to expel the gas and consequently clear the entire BMC team bus, this could finally be his year. Then again, as we saw last week at Flanders he's got some formidable and extremely gassy competition, but despite the odds I prefer to dream that Boonen and Cancellara and the rest will instead look between their thighs and see George coming, and that Hincapie will bring a Paris-Roubaix victory to the underside of the Brooklyn Bridge where it belongs.

And now, by way of returning abruptly to reality, I'd like to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you will have reason to triumphantly smash something made of glass and cry out "Boo-ya!," and if you're wrong you will be forced to learn how to ride a bicycle downhill.

Many thanks for reading and for forwarding delightful items, ride safe, and if you have "full gas" you might want to watch Paris-Roubaix alone.

--BSNYC/RTMS

PS: Yesterday evening I was interviewed for the Two Johns Podcast and they've already posted it on their website, so if you'd like to listen you may do so here.

1) According to Cyclingnews, the cobbles of the Spring Classics are also known as:

--Pavé

--Pavè

--Parvé

--Pav

2) In which city is someone trying to "flip" a Mongoose Cachet for $300 on Craigslist, complete with pictures from the BSNYC review?

--Tempe, AZ

--Santa Fe, NM

--Portland, OR

--Boston, MA

3) To haul serious cargo by bicycle, you need a Surly Big Dummy.

--True
--False

4) Fill in the blank: According to Bicycling magazine, New York is the __ most bike-friendly city in America.

--4th

--6th
--8th
--Least

5) "It's one-stop shopping for 'hipsters!'" Where can you find this all-in-one boutique?

--London, England

--Zurich, Switzerland
--Berlin, Germany

--Williamsburg, Brooklyn

6) "Bad news for dopers!" The inventor of the "Whizzinator" has been sentenced to jail.

--True
--False

7) Whose viscous nipple is this?

--Tom Boonen's

--Philippo Pozzato's

--Matthew McConaughey's

--Liz Hatch's

***Special Not-Quite-Safe-For-Work-Depending-On-Where-You-Work-Tattoo-Themed-Bonus Question***

Underarm tattoos are Knuckle Tattoos 2.0.

--True

--False