Friday, March 19, 2010

BSNYC Lighter-Than-Milk Friday Fun Quiz!

(My Submission to "Beehive Gallery")

Firstly, you may recall that yesterday I mentioned a bike with a rubber-wrapped cockpit:

Well, subsequently I was pleased to hear from the owner of the bike--who, as it happens, "curates" a blog about pizza:

So, if you're one of the millions of people who enjoys the taste of delicious pizza, be sure to pay "Slice Harvester" a visit--or, failing that, to at least go out and enjoy a slice of delicious pizza covered in the toppingway of your choice.

Moving on, as most people know by now there was a big kerfuffle, or mishigas, or "cockfabulation" (I just made that one up) yesterday over some anti-cyclist comments made by some ESPN guy named Tony Kornheiser and which I'm not even going to bother to link to here but which you can easily find by employing a popular search engine. Inasmuch as I don't really pay attention to any sports that don't involve bicycles (apart from the caber toss, which is so totally going to be the next cool ironic sport after dodgeball, at which point I will abandon it), I have to admit that I didn't even know who the guy was. (I detach myself from the world of non-cycling sports as assiduously as the Amish eschew technology, or as thoroughly as most "hipsters" divorce themselves from adulthood.) Furthermore, since yesterday was what meteorologists call a "lovely day," I refused to even listen to the "Kornheiser tapes," opting instead to take an unprecedented four hour lunch break and test out my Folgers bike. (Result: it works.)

Eventually, though, I did listen, and as I suspected it was a rehash of the usual bit we've all heard already from various radio DJs wherein the host goes on about how bicycles belong on the sidewalk and how drivers should hit them with their cars while various people guffaw in the background. Obviously, this is irritating, but at the same time I don't worry about it too much. What's essentially happening is, the "cheap joke pool" is shrinking, and now that you can't get away with making fun of minorities, women and homosexuals anymore people who like to seem outrageous are forced turn to cyclists out of desperation. In a way, it's indicative of the fact that the "old media" is taking its last gasps (or at least that an old reporter's career is taking its last gasps). I gather he even tried to poach the subject of women not too long ago (even though it's officially off-limits now) and got called on it:

Anyway, as we all know by now, no less a personage than Lance Armstrong jumped on Tony Kornheiser faster than a Fred jumps on a Cat 2's wheel in the park, and predictably he apologized immediately:

Furthermore, Armstrong is appearing on the show with Korheiser as I type this (or, more accurately, as my helper monkey Vito types this), presumably to upbraid him further. And that, one would hope, will be that.

With that out of the way and with a sun-tacular weekend ahead of us (at least in New York), I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see "An inspiring serenade of instincts!"

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, lose your concern, and get happy.

--BSNYC/RTMS



1) Which bicycle company has just "dropped" a fresh new "edit?"




2) The manufacturer of this saddle refers to the series of ridges as:

--"Slide Control"
--"The Taint Grater"




3) Cervelos are to milk as Milan-San Remo is to:




4) According to "The Age," this BMW bicycle weighs the same as:






5) Stop the presses! 2010 may actually be all about:



6) "Hipster" beekeepers also "drop" fresh "edits."






7) "Hipsters" who are disinclined to beekeeping yet still want luxury items like raw honey are increasingly turning to:




***Special NSFDW (Not Safe For Duck Work) Duck-Themed Bonus Question***

Quack?

--Moo
--Meow
--Quack
--Rawr

124 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, #1

Anonymous said...

TGIF

Mario Chippolini said...

podium?
Now off to eat some pussy

Anonymous said...

Second top 10 this week!

Anonymous said...

Soft peddled.

mikeweb said...

top 10 y'all - I'll be watching that wrong answer video all day to get me psyched for watching M-SR tomorrow.

ringcycles said...

Top ten with the throw

Nogocyclist said...

In the top of the Top 100 comments.

Anonymous said...

damn

Anonymous said...

10?

Anonymous said...

Top 10! (or pipped at the wire)

Anonymous said...

Lance is out of Milan-San Remo due to "gastroenteritis" (uh, stomach flu) but he's on ESPN--is he calling in from the shitter?

shoegazer said...

thorn

singlespeedspinning said...

oh yeah

Nitram said...

No mention of the death of Phil Wood?

Anonymous said...

darn, edged out again!

I hope someone shoves something in Kornheiser's cornhole!

Who talks about "running them down" with a car or as his co-host said, "go ahead and take off a limb". It's just sick. This isn't sports talk on ESPN radio, it's sick and delusional!

porntern said...

Suitless apiary is the new brakeless bicycling.

Paul Bowen said...

Top twennee!

That bmw bike gets uglier every time I see it.

ringcycles said...

Hipsters on food stamps, huh, Maybe 30 seconds to mars should re-record their latest song as "we were the welfare kings and queens of promise"

No, still wouldn't make it worth listening to.

kale said...

So disappointed in the Rivendell team riders' disregard for head protection.

Writing an e-mail to voice my disdain immediately!

Unknown said...

All you Tony kornheisers suck my
beefy bottem bracket.

TJ Eckleburg said...

A Blog about Pizza? Really?

ringcycles said...

I'll believe Kornheiser is sorry after he goes to Charlotte and apologizes to Adam Little's widow.

Be safe on the roads this weekend, idiots are everywhere. Kindness, and even undeserved respect, goes a long way.

Anonymous said...

Kornheiser's comments were a pure publicity stunt. What a coincidence LA is on tomorrow! Watch the ratings soar.

Anonymous said...

"as thoroughly as most "hipsters" divorce themselves from adulthood"

Foff off, Snob.

Kornhole said...

A few months ago there was a small piece in the City section of the Times about a couple of hipsters signing up for food stamps in Brooklyn. Their 'freelance' gigs dried up and they didn't want to ask their parents for more money. They were shocked that some people at the center truly were needy.

hoot79er said...

NOT top ten!!!

mikeweb said...

Man, Nashbar can't get rid those Credit Agricole bib shorts no matter how cheap they price them...

Oh crap! sorry everyone, my attention wandered past the flashing ad on the BSNYC page clear over to my inbox in the next window.

Anonymous said...

Better keep your eye on Vito.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2010/03/18/dnt.monkey.bites.owner.wtkr?hpt=T2

ant1 said...

snobby - "and which point I will abandon it" at?

Anonymous said...

I recognize the trails in that Rivendell video. A lot of it was shot in Oakland. Yep, Oakland California has some nice trails.

Better than thou said...

I realize that this is not a site for grade school children, but I never thought you would put unedited videos of a sex act on this site.

Tisk, tisk, tisk!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Kornhole, my girlfriend was truly needy, so I dumped her.

Thomas said...

Let them eat stamps.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone have a link to a pic of what Hannah Storm was wearing that Kornheiser got in trouble over?

Jefe said...

"Am I the only one that can feel this coming storm of exctitment?"

Great Shimano ad Snob.

You can't make up quotes like, "Don't waste my good intentions" or "It should be the opposite." Only really badly translated Japanese can produce those nuggets.

George Not Hincapie said...

Two of my five children ride with me all the time. Following like little ducklings, Kornheiser, you fuck.

trundle said...

supple. 120 tpi.

I am the engine said...

I had now idea, that there was as much duck porn out there on the interweb.

I hope there is no bee porn out there.

Lance will save us one espn commentator at a time, thank heaven for king lance.

sufferist said...

I knew the answer to the BMW bike question, but that's it...bring on the snow...I'm ready to go home.

Stupid Name said...

http://thebiglead.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Hannah-Storm-SportsCenter-outfit.jpg

Hannah Storm outfit.

Wow, hardly duck porn.

Anonymous said...

I want a Rivendell, corny or not!

streepo said...

If it wasn't for the "taint grater" I would have had a perfect score.

and a smoother taint.

Anonymous said...

You know what would be funny? a blog devoted to different ways of murdering shock jocks. Do you torture them first? Send video of their final agonies to their next of kin? Stuff like that.

No, it wouldn't be funny it would be sick; you'd probably end up being investigated by the authorities. Meanwhile Hate Radio marches on.

M.L.G. said...

In all my years of reading this blog, 'toppingway' takes it for funniest thing yet. Holy hell I laughed for a solid minute.

ervgopwr said...

DUCK PORN

DUCK MATE

FUCK TONY

CORN HOLE

SPRG EQNX

Dave said...

Snobby, besides cyclists, the only group that can safefully be mocked are Canadians. So pray for poor Michael Barry.

Also, the Caber Toss is an outstandingly bizarro sport. Love it.

luciferyellow said...

Found this on a blog and followed the directions to complain about Tony Kornheiser to the FCC.

To file a complaint go to: http://esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm

Click on the radio button: Broadcast (TV and Radio), Cable, and Satellite Issues.

Proceed to the next page. Click on the radio button: Unauthorized, unfair, biased, illegal broadcasts (does NOT include Obscene, Profane or Indecent material) This does however, include “Broadcasting threatening or intimidating statements about an individual or group.”

Proceed to the next page and select the online form. Complete your consumer information. You will then need to complete Form 2000E. Pertinent information that needs to be included:

1. What is the name of the company that is the subject of your complaint? Red Zebra Broadcasting (ESPN 980)

2. If your complaint is about a radio or television station, provide the following information: Station call sign (e.g., “KDID,” “WZUF,” “KDIU-FM,” “WZUE-TV”): WTEM, WWXX and WWXT

Station location: City: Rockville State: Maryland

If you are complaining about a particular program, provide the following information:

1. Network: ESPN980
2. Program name: Tony Kornheiser Show
3. Date of program (mm/dd/yyyy): 3/11/2010
4. 10:00 am

5. Provide the details of your complaint, including the time, date and nature of any conduct or activity complained of and identifying information for companies, institutions or individuals involved (if not already described above): During his show on March 11, 2010, Mr. Kornheiser advocated violence against anyone riding a bicycle on a public road. Specifically, Mr. Kornheiser stated “Run them down, like Wile Coyote’s, run them over.” Using public airwaves to advocate violence against cyclists is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Matt said...

Kornheiser did a couple of seasons on Monday Night Football but was dropped because of all the travel required and the little chickenshit is afraid of flying. Haven't heard his particular anti-cyclist rant but I expect I could write it for him, they're frequent enough among the radio jabber world.

Jefe said...

luciferyellow, I'm on it.

Nogocyclist said...

Snob, You need to quit putting duck porn on a blog about bikes. The ducks surfing the web would check out your blog due to the porn. When they do, they will read about cycling in NYC. This is bad. This is very bad.

This tells what would happen if this continues.

Anonymous said...

Snob -
What pissed me off about your post a few days ago was not that you wouldn't use your forum to espouse worthy causes (it's your perogative what to write in your blog), it was your dismissive attitude to the cause in general. I think "Concerned" came off like a finger-waving self-righteous prick, but his/her input certainly wasn't negative and I'm surprised it elicited such a classless response from you.

Your writing is excellent and the blog is always entertaining but some of your readers probably do 'ride' to preserve the environment. Now, you clearly don't, and that's fine. But the snide and aloof tone in your response reeked of sophomoric bullshit and is insulting to those who ride for fun and ride becuase it's conducive to a cleaner environment. It's strange you end your post reflecting on 'do what makes you happy'. For Nic Kristof wrote a great column recently asserting most people are happiest when assisting others (and championing causes). Don't write about these causes or even personally give a s@#$, but if that really is your MO, you may want to challenge your hedonism because you may be stunting yourself.

Not trying to indict myself as a self-righteous prick, but your cavalier approach to environmentalism was stupid and alienated some of your readers....

g-roc said...

Quack.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:58pm,

Thanks for your comment. I would ask that you go back and read my post again, because I think you missed my point.

--BSNYC

PS: Trust me, if I was worried about "alienating" people, nobody would want to read this blog.

Nogocyclist said...

anonymous@2:58

I consider myself a practical environmentalist. I must say that what Bike Snob NYC said about the comment was not offensive to me.

What is offensive to me are people like Al Gore who travel in private jets and advocate for environmental causes. He could go wherever he needs to on a commercial jet like everyone else does. What a hypocrite! I am not saying you are anything like ol' Al, but it actually hurts the cause of the environment when there are people who take an unsustainable view on environmental causes as opposed to a practical one.

I think there should be limits of free speech (like that jerk saying run over cyclist) but Snob is a thousand miles away from violating that limit.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 2:58, You nailed it square on the head. Yes, Snob writes in a snide and aloof tone. This blog does reek of sophomoric bullshit. It is insulting to those who ride.

And that is precisely why I and thousands of others read it on a daily basis. What don't you get about that?

What you perceive as insults aimed at the curator of this blog are in fact compliments.

If the FCC regulates the blogsphere, it is your lucky day because the directions for filing a complaint are found right here on this comment board. If not, you might consider trolling somewhere else on the internet more in line with your philosophical and literary sensibilities.

Grant Peterson said...

top 60!!!

GRANT PETERESON said...

top 60!!!

Canadian Duck said...

I hear the big skanky is the place to be, can you give me directions from google maps, (as the duck flies)?.

Shaun said...

There's always one righteous good citizen who has to spoil the fun! Isn't there? I mean c'mon! "Sophomoric bullshit" is part of the foundation upon which BSNYC was built. Get over yourself already! Oh! And may a half-baby of flesh be shredded from Kornheiser's taint.

ant1 said...

anon 2:58 - to add to WIWM's comment, this blog is called bike SNOB nyc, not perfectly fair bike dude nyc, not reasonable and boring bike person nyc. the word snob has some connotations and does a good job of describing the angle that the writer takes towards the subjects he writes about.
snide aloof and classless is the MO of this blog. don't get pissed just because for once it was directed at your pet cause.

Anonymous said...

Ah, well I guess I wrongly assumed not caring whatsoever and dismissing the commentary entirely as its own form of inacvtive activism. It is certainly the impression I got when reading your post reply (which, like many others I don't read you for political commentary - in fact it's often an elixir to the redundant political punditry).

I know you're not worried about alienating people, and the success of your blog merits you shouldn't be. My main point, was although "Concerned" came off like a douche, your response mirrored it too closely. And I'm hoping I won't encounter many more posts that marginalize those who do give a shit....

Anonymous said...

...we call ourselves "The Aristocrats".

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that future BSNYC posts will continue to "marginalize" anyone and everyone. At least I certainly hope so.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Where do I sign up to be marginalized? Ooh, pick me, pick me!!!

ant1 said...

69!

ConArtist said...

Hilarious as usual, snob! Enjoying this trash talk going on between the enviro's. But gosh man, your commenters really need to lay off your nuts a little don't they haha.

Anonymous said...

Ugh that pizza blog is horrid - doesn't he ever ride that bike out of the midtown area? I will admit that asking for $2.50 donations to cover the cost of a slice was inspired, and hilarious.

Iyam Whatiyam said...

Is it really a top ten if you are anonymous? I mean, in a way it is sort of like you weren't even there. Not sure how you'd register a placement on the replay cam even.

Shaun said...

I feel so... Oh, I don't know... MARGINALIZED!!! Okay??? There!!! I said it!

Matt said...

Hey, half the fun of this blog is recognizing when you're getting insulted. I was never a racer or mountain biker, but I ride a Rivendell, have a beard and really like my helmet mirror! Everybody gets ribbed at some point and if you can't take it with a rueful smile then perhaps you'd be better off on another blog. As for bikes and environmentalism, yeah, that's one minor aspect of the reason I ride, but the difference we make isn't a drop in the bucket, it's the evaporation off a droplet from a huge bucket, if that.

Dr. Makim ben'Dover said...

If Mr. Snobs had a mallard drive, would anyone here give a duck?

leroy said...

Is it just me or does Anon 2:58 remind anyone else of the homily about the hunter who repeatedly ventures into the woods trying to bag a particular bear, but each time he is cornered by the bear and forced to endure its amorous and protracted ursine embrace?

On the final occasion, the bear asks the hunter:  "Be honest, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

I don't think Anon 2:58 comes here for the hunting.  So I'm not concerned.

Ride safe all!

Dr De Rosa said...

I just searched Hannah Storm (Red Go-Go boots right!?!) and found this... Wow we woo we!!!

http://www.oddjack.com/2009/vote-for-americas-sexiest-sportscaster-with-playboy-01-04.php

I rose to my feet and sang!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yzvk-FNPpE

Lawrence of the Labia said...

TIRE TAPE

PIZA BLOG

JOKE POOL

RIBD SEAT

FOOD STMP

Anonymous said...

So, is Lance going to Pardon That Idiot?

Anonymous said...

Lucifer Yellow-
Thanks, I filled out the complaint form(much to bikesnob's horror, I'm sure).

Lawrence of the Labia said...

"cavalier approach to environmentalism"

TREE HUGR

Test Tickle said...

FUCK TONY

DICK HEAD

ASSM UNCH

BUTT PLUG

DIEB ITCH

balls.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:58, just be glad you don't ride a Specialized or have a crush on AC.

To be fair, that Pedaling thing was awful and the fingerbang is way overdone. Once over the finish line would probably be sufficient.

luciferyellow said...

@ Anonymous 5.04:
Trust me, if I was worried (read "concerned") about "alienating" BikeSnob, I would not read this blog.

Stupid Name said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7wnBoWOfAU
Have you heard this?
I just heard this.

This guy is a douche bag.
"I have a large powerfull car compared to your stupid little bicycle."

PCLA said...

All You Concerned Readers Save the Environment With Illegal Urban Beehives

g-roc said...

Wow, I was supposed to take this blog seriously? Suddenly I'm offended.

GOP 2010 said...

The overweight African American welfare queen image is so 80's- we are now going after the Hipster Foodstamp Curators to rally the conservative base! End all socialist entitlements!

Anonymous said...

"In March 2010, Kornheiser commented: "The last time I looked, the roads were made for automobiles...We're going to be dominated as if this was Beijing by hundreds of thousands of bicyclists...They all wear … my God … with the little water bottle in the back and the stupid hats and their shiny shorts. They are the same disgusting poseurs that in the middle of a snowstorm come out with cross-country skiing on your block. Run 'em down...Let them use the right, I’m okay with that. I don’t take my car and ride on the sidewalk because I understand that’s not for my car… Why do these people think that these roads were built for bicycles? ... They dare you to run them down.” Cyclist Lance Armstrong replied "Disgusting, ignorant, foolish. What a complete f-ing idiot." http://www.bikeradar.com/news/article/what-a-complete-f-ing-idiot-armstrong-25415"

from wiki.

I have this big powerful baseball bat, and you have this tiny puny cranium.

This is humor, it is funny.

Dr. Makim ben'Dover said...

If Mr. Snobs had a hockey drive, would anyone here give a puck?

San Fran Nan said...

Don't worry, I intend to make sure all you hipsters get free health-care. The rest of you, you keep your own doctors. You won't lose your insurance. It won't cost anybody anything. Except the rich right-wing bastards.

Dr. ben'Dover's Assistant said...

If Mr. Snobs had a mile-high club drive, would anyone here give a flying fuck?

Anonymous said...

Интернет-магазин телевизоров и плазменных панелей

David said...

Those of us who watch football already knew Tony Kornheiser is a moronic jackass of the first magnitude. Further proof is that he has caused me to utter for the first time words I never thought I'd say: thank the duck-porn-and- pizza gods for Lance, whose massive ego has heretofore left me feeling ambivalent at best about him. The only real question is why ESPN didn't fire Kornhead long ago. But then again, think how much abuse someone with a name like that must have suffered in grade school. Probably explains part of his twisted mentality.

Bill C. said...

Am I a bad person for gettin a woody over Hanna in her "fakerjack" skirt and "sausage" shirt?

AYHSMB said...

Ok so its back to bicycle stickerz

AYHSMB said...

Damn it html I say Damn it! Again stickerz

Odile Lee said...

Anon,
Im sure you mean well but..
I am a compulsive dieting, lycra clad, grouchy road cyclist - who is also a vegetarian deep ecologist who likes to buy organic food.
Now If I can find that post funny( I mean I was peeing myself with laughter) , why cant you?

That was the BEST Snobby!

Anonymous said...

Snob-

Posts this week have been excellent!! Keep it up

Anonymous said...

Bees are everywhere

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

System Administrator said...

San Fran Nan and Dr. Makim:

Your IP addresses have been logged and any further trolling activity will result in punitive measures. Thank you for your cooperation.

Willfully Daring said...

@ AYHSMB:

"Wush" = a wussie wish?

NHK News Update said...

Bill C. has an erection in progress.

Can't See Men said...

Good news! Hipster Dutch City bieks cause sterility! Must be the mushy saddles! Paired with skintight jeans, can we look forward to a hipsterless future in the next generation?

http://www.engrish.com/2010/02/that-or-involuntary-celibacy/

Joaquin Miller said...

All you haters suck my BOMBADIL

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else watch the beekeeeping 'edit' to the end? A logo appears saying "Food: Curated". Says it all really

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Anonymous said...

Kornheiser is "corn holer" in German.

Anonymous said...

Автор, выражаю тебе респект за качественный блог! Наконец-то встретил сайт, который похож на СДЛ. Здесь приятно находиться, будет время еще почитаю другие темы!

Google translator? said...

Author, thank you Respect for the quality blog! Finally met the site, which is similar to the NLL. Pleased to be here, will yet admire other topics!

YATE said...

DFL. Yes.

Nogocyclist said...

Is the NLL the National Lacrosse League Website? http://www.nll.com

Just thinking you may be referring to a different site since it is so different.

I will attempt to translate using Google, but I have to post first. Might not work, never tried it before.

Nogocyclist said...

This is what Google translated my comment into Russian.

Является НБЛ Национальной лиги Лакросс сайта? http://www.nll.com

От одной мысли, вы можете быть ссылкой на другой сайт, поскольку она так сильно отличается.

Я постараюсь перевести помощью Google, но у меня есть на первый пост. Может не работать, никогда не пытались это раньше.

Sorry if my Russian is no good. I know when you translate another language into English, it can be very different from what is actually meant to be said. That being said I will apologise for being lazy, but I am not going to translate the rest of this comment.

Nogocyclist said...

If anyone is interested? I translated back to English what I translated to Russian using Google Translator.

Original (In English)
Russian (Translated)
Back to English (From the Russian)

This is what it said.

Is the NBL National Lacrosse League website? http://www.nll.com

"From a thought, you may be referring to another site, because it is so different.

I will try to translate using Google, but I have to first post. Can not work, never tried it before."

Substantially different message. I think I will keep this in mind when I read websites that have been translated.

Anonymous said...

hdhdfghdghdfghdgh

Anonymous said...

bxchxfghfxgh

Big SUV Snob NYC said...

Anonymous @12:19-12:20

I tried to translate your comments to English, but Google could not detect what language you are using. I did have it Speak "hdhdfghdghdfghdgh bxchxfghfxgh." It sounds like this may be one of those songs no one can understand, but some weird person somewhere would think was the best song ever anyway.

BSSNYC said...

Oops.
I did not look good enough. Google translator said it was Italian. Still sounds like the same song when you press that little speaker looking thingy.

Anonymous said...

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Greg Heil said...

I don't think Lance made him eat his words enough. Should have really given it to him...

Odile Lee said...

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Try to get those cookies out of my hand and you may get tasered.

evision said...

www.onlineuniversalwork.com

Anonymous said...

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