It's BSNYC! It's Friday! It's Fun! It's a Qüiz! (Now with gratuitous umlaut.)

(Image by "Anonymous Coward")

Have you ever walked into a bike co-op and thought to yourself, "Wow, I really wish I could see everyone in here in sexy poses."? Well, even though you haven't, the members of one co-op in Tempe, Arizona called "Bike Saviours" have nonetheless decided to put together a calendar containing just that. Here's the photo for January:, which features a snarling woman with cable housing between her legs:

I should mention that this is only one of the racy images I've received via email recently, and I also continue to get the occasional lascivious "get well" card as I am, uh, not fully recovered yet. [Insert feeble cough here.] If you'd like to get a sense of the contents of some of these cards, entering the terms "BMX" and "vulva" into a popular search engine should give you some idea. In any case, if you're a product of the digital age and are unfamiliar with the concept of a "calendar," it's basically like an abacus, but for time. Also, there are both women and men in the calendar, and September in particular promises to be a real stunner as the "Bike Saviours" appear to have enlisted the services of the astronaut farmer himself, Billy Bob Thornton:

Anyway, I'm assured proceeds go towards "bicycle education and advocacy," which is a good thing because there are definitely way too many uneducated bicycles out there, especially in Arizona. (And there's clearly no shortage of bike co-op members willing to expose their pubic thatches, either.)

Having either enticed or disgusted you, I'm now pleased to present you with a qüiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see bicycle marketing at its most powerful.

Enjoy the weekend, ride safe, and if you visit your local bike co-op you might want to wash your hands afterwards.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Hawks come in various:

--Colorways

--Color Morphs

--Featherways

--Mouth-watering flavors

2) What is the correct translation for the inscription on this footrest?

--"Hi, cyclist! Rest your foot here... and thank you for cycling in the city."
--"Hi, cyclist! Place your foot here...in order to remain fully erect."

--"Hi, cyclist! This dog waste shoe scraper has been placed here for your convenience by the City of Copenhagen. Enjoy!"

--"Ich bein ein Berliner!"

3) Why is Mario Cipollini climbing a ladder?

--He is pursuing a pair of bike thieves

--He is pursuing a lovely lady

--He is in dire need of a toilet

--He's just puttering around the house, doing a few repairs

4) Why is Mario Cipollini carrying a "man purse?"

--He must have access to large quantities of hair gel at all times

--He must have access to large quantities of prophylactics at all times

--Because doing so is "Cipollini-esque"

--All of the above

(You don't want to mess with Balistic Mitch.)

5) "Balistic speeds are ________:"

--Feasible

--Inevitable

--Possible

--Probable

6) Which athletic company and which fashion designer are "collabiating" on a line of cycling apparel?

--Nike and Marc Jacobs

--Le Coq Sportif and Paul Smith

--Adidas and Stella McCartney

--Russell Athletic and Pierre Cardin

7) What comes in a "hipster starter kit?"

--A Pista, an iPod, a pair of skinny jeans, and an ironic t-shirt
--A six-pack of cheap domestic beer and an identity

--A keffiyeh, a pair of Chrome sneakers, and a set of toe clips

--A badly-worn 16 tooth cog and an STD

***Special Failing the Test of Time Retro "Collabo"-Themed Bonus Question***

The "PUMA x Vexed" cycling jacket from 2005 was designed for:

--"Keeping your identity hidden while throwing up a piece."

--"Keeping beardless fixed-gear riders warm on cold days."

--"Protecting urban riders from noxious emissions while skitching off buses and trucks."
--"Protection against hawk attacks, which have become increasingly common in urban areas."