Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Measure of Safety: All You Cities Sanction My Rebellion

As human beings, we have a tendency to think that we are special, and that our own needs and desires are more important than the needs and desires of others. While most of us are able to keep this self-importance in perspective, some of us actually go so far as to define ourselves by this inflated sense of self-importance. Usually, we do this by dressing differently than the majority of people yet nearly identically to other people whose needs and desires are similar to ours. In so doing, the hope is that people will recognize us at a glance and afford us the sort of special treatment we think we deserve.

This behavior really isn't a problem until two such groups find themselves in close proximity to one another. When this happens, each group begins to feel as though its status as "special" is being threatened, and they begin to argue or worse. This is exactly what's happening now in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where the young, newly-minted urbanites known as "Hipsters" and the religious sect known as "Hasidim" have been living side-by-side somewhat uncomfortably for the past decade or so. Recently, this discomfort has manifest itself in the form of squabbles over bike lanes. "Hipsters" want them, and "Hasidim" don't. The city, of course, is Mom and Dad, and when parents seem to favor one crying child over the other you can bet the spurned one is going to throw a tantrum.

And so it was that when the city removed 14 blocks of bike lanes in Williamsburg recently to appease the Hasidim that the Hipsters grew incensed--so much so that they performed actual physical labor and repainted the bike lanes themselves. Furthermore, in keeping with Hipster tradition, they also made a video of themselves doing it, complete with soundtrack. (In the Hipster worldview, if it's not on video, it didn't happen.) Subsequently, some arrests have been made, and as the city waits for the inevitable retaliation (which will probably involve a Hasidim strike force constructing a bunch of eruvin in the trendy part of town at around 12:30pm when all the Hipsters are asleep) the local news is all over the story like a tallis on a rabbi. Here's one of the Hipsters saying the bike lanes are good:


And here's one of the Hasidim (or at least someone with a pair of "Mega Brows" posing as one of the Hasidim) saying the bike lanes are bad:


And here's an anonymous cyclist praising the "vigilante bikers" for repainting the bike lanes since "it's our only safety measure in the city:"

I like bike lanes, and I'm not particularly pleased to see them removed, but when a person on a bicycle with no brakes or lights (OK, maybe there's a rear "hipster cyst" obscured by his baggy shorts) and only a hint of bar tape says that bike lanes are "our only safety measure in the city" it makes me wish the city would administer some good old-fashioned parental discipline by taking away all the bike lanes until New York City cyclists start acting like grownups. I don't think we should go all Philadelphia and crack down on brakeless cyclists, but technically it's illegal to ride a brakeless bike in New York City, so if you're going to be an outlaw at least act like one. Don't demand the city furnish you with the safety you won't provide for yourself. It seems as though people want safety until it begins to clash with their personal aesthetic, and since you don't actually need to wear a bike lane or bolt it to your bike then it's all right to want one. Just blithely skip-stop your way around town, and when you inevitably fall-down-go-boom blame it on someone else.

As irritating as this attitude is, I don't expect it to change. Like wearing matching costumes and seeking attention and special treatment, the desire for risk-free rebellion is also human nature. This is what being "cool" is all about--not acting like so many other people that you blend in completely, yet at the same time not acting so differently that you seem like a freak or you get in trouble. This is why people like to ride bikes like this around the city:





Giordana pursuit track fixed gear bike - 51 cm - $500 (Bushwick)
Date: 2009-12-06, 4:30PM EST
Reply to: [deleted]

Giordana pursuit track frame for sale! 51cm (c-t) x 54cm (c-c) Gear ratio: 48t - 17t
Get your hands on a REAL pursuit frame.

Tubing- Oria Chromo ML 25 Mannesmann --NOT DRILLED FOR BRAKES--
Wheelset- Mavic CXP 22 laced to Velocity (650 front, 700 rear, built by Trackstar)
Bars- Mavic time trial
Headset- DuraAce
BB- Campagnolo
Cranks- Dotek
Pedals and clips- MKS (Soma Pake plastic coated straps)
Stem- generic japanese
Post- SR
Saddle- Fizik
Tires- Conti front, Vittoria Rubino rear

This bike is really fun to ride around. If I had to describe it, I'd say it's kinda like being in the drops all the time, but you're close to the stem so it's a different experience really. It rides aggressively as your weight is more towards the front than a regular track bike. It has great balance which is very important because you'll find your self riding no-handed from time to time.

Cosmetically, there are lots of chips in the paint and such as pictured. If you'd like I can point you to an excellent local powder-coater. Structurally, it is sound but it has had a repair. Several years ago there was a crack between the top tube and head tube lug that I had repaired. The crack was probably due to riding on urban streets with insane racing geometry- absolutely not caused by any type of collision. I took it to Raphael at Chelsea Bicycles, the only local guy with the expertise and years of experience to to make such a repair. He fixed the crack and reinforced the head tube and it's been running great ever since. You'll notice the Giordana logo is missing in some areas and the blue on the frame is slightly different from the blue of the fork- this is from his repaint. The only other thing is that I would suggest is replacing the sealed bearings on the wheel hubs.

I have some extra Giordana sticker decals that I never used that you can have and a fresh pair of fluorescent yellow straps (NIB Cat Eye) that I'll sell for an extra $15.

Feel free to ask any questions about the bike. If you want to come check it out and take it for a spin, please note that you can only test ride it with cash in hand. $500 firm. This is a great deal on a sweet ride.


The problem with being "cool" though is that the balance point between conformity and freakdom is incredibly tiny, and when you try to straddle it you just wind up falling off into the surrounding area called called "rationalization," and rationalization is basically the essence of comedy. Take this quote for example:

This bike is really fun to ride around. If I had to describe it, I'd say it's kinda like being in the drops all the time, but you're close to the stem so it's a different experience really.

I read this a number of times and I still can't figure out why you'd be that much closer to the stem than you would if you were riding in the drops on a "normal" bike, or how that's a "different experience." (Is his stem smelly? Has it acquired the scent of "frumunda" from his crotch due to excessive elephant trunk skidding?) The only difference I can see is that it's like being stuck in your drops permanently, hence the next quote:

It has great balance which is very important because you'll find your self riding no-handed from time to time.

A bike only has as much balance as the person riding it. For example, this bike (forwarded to me by a reader) might also have great balance if the riders are members of Cirque de Soleil:

Nevertheless, it took me awhile to figure out why "you'll find your self riding no-handed from time to time"--until I realized it's since you're permanently hunched over the bars and smelling the frumunda-scented stem, so you need to sit up occasionally in order to stretch out your back and get some fresh air into your nostrils.

The rationalization continues here:

Several years ago there was a crack between the top tube and head tube lug that I had repaired. The crack was probably due to riding on urban streets with insane racing geometry- absolutely not caused by any type of collision.

A normal person might take this as an indication that this is not a good bike for riding around the city, but if you're aspiring to be "cool" you will take it to mean that you will actually become "cool" if you manage to tame that "insane racing geometry." And even if you don't manage to tame it, you will at least get to interact with mystical people with magical bicycle powers:

I took it to Raphael at Chelsea Bicycles, the only local guy with the expertise and years of experience to to make such a repair.

He must be the Pai Mei of pursuit bikes.

If you do decide you want to purchase a bike from someone who practically dares you to ride it, be sure to adorn it with your own personalized chainring. Yes, a reader informs me you can order your own engraved chainrings now. Here's what I recommend for the Giordana:


Once you've installed that, you can then top it off with a "sit poll," forwarded by another reader:


guizzo carbin fiber sit poll - $30 (queens)
Date: 2009-12-07, 4:18PM EST
Reply to: [deleted]

i have a used no cracks guizzo carbin fiber sit poll $30 infterested call 347 334 [deleted]



"Carbin" may not be as good a material as "crabon," but either way a "sit poll" with no seat is truly the ultimate in discomfort. This bike's really coming together. Too bad there aren't more bike lanes in which to ride it safely.

140 comments:

sherpa said...

podium?

Carp said...

good

jtk said...

bronze

rezado said...

hi-rez

Fierce Panties said...

Don't fuck with the Panties

Astroluc said...

top 10... "I'm a loner, Dottie... a rebel"

Anonymous said...

sixth!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten again?

Anonymous said...

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

I got along fine before these lanes were there, and I'll get along fine when they are gone, but if anyone actually believes this is about "hipsters" (defined as what?) and Hasidim, you're buggin. From the South Williamsburg point-of-view, this is about parking spaces and the desire of most automobile drivers to not have to pay any more attention while driving than they already do, and to spend less time looking for free, city-provided, on-street parking.

-Jim N

mikeweb said...

beware my mega-brows

lejon astray said...

Lets All Non-Conform Together!

bikramyoganj said...

wow in the top 10

bikramyoganj said...

ok, maybe 13th

g said...

tight pack today. Musta been a long straight finish?

bem miracle said...

Extreme racing geometry. Ha!

Fierce Panties said...

Jim N
If you're having a hard time defining hipster, I would recommend using a popular search engine and read about cultural appropriation.

bikesgonewild said...

...what the fuck !!!...i was still tightening my sidis & everybody was like gone...

MGB said...

oh hai?!

Hasidm said...

היית רוצה הגבות זה היה מכובד.

אה, ולהישאר מחוץ לשכונה שלי בשבת

Anonymous said...

< there was a crack between the top tube and head tube lug >

And a corresponding bend at the downtube joint, no doubt.

Hey nonny mouse.....

g said...

Jim, I think the part of the definition of hipster that is missing and actually would apply here is "voter". Cyclist have no ability to mobilize as a united group and therefore, have no value in the political system. Bike lanes are a political move and when the votes go against them, they go away. The Philly issue will not be thwarted by a united front of cyclist (despite what a clever website and good coverage in the off-beat press may believe). It will die quietly when government realize that it's going to cost too much to implement and enforce that it's really worth (something VOTERS don't like).

Anonymous said...

I love the rationale of the Hasidim that Scantily clad hipster cyclists attracted to the Brooklyn neighborhood made it difficult to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress.

LEWD JEWS

mikeweb said...

I've heard the 'parking space' argument made a few times. The only bike lane that actually did in fact take away parking spaces, is ironically the Kent ave one that the city is trying to push everyone to. And the local residents screamed bloody murder back when that happened. Eliminating the Bedford ave bike lane hasn't created a single additional parking spot. Anyone who's ridden it can tell you that - just look at any of the recent videos posted here. Finally, I've ridden Bedford many times on non-Shabbas days, and I've almost never seen anything close to 'heavy traffic'. Especially compared to navigating the Grand St. bike lane which seems like riding through a mosh pit in a landfill.

Anonymous said...

"this is about parking spaces and the desire of most automobile drivers to not have to pay any more attention while driving than they already do" - So the arguments about scantily clad bikers are just a front? Why isn't the city removing bike lanes more widely - is the parking situation particularly bad in SW?

Grundle Pheasant said...

FRUM UNDA

Frumunda what? Frumunda ya' grundle!

mikeweb said...

Also keep in mind that in addition to not having to view shirtless riders, there's another religious reason for having to be able to find a parking spot quickly - especially a few minutes before sunset on a Friday. I'm especially wary of cars when riding in Williamsburg at those particular times.

wisconsin auto accident lawyers said...

You could ride in a Hurricane with those Wheelbrows.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

broomie said...

oy!

Scott said...

HIS IS AWESOME. thank you for stating ths: "I like bike lanes, and I'm not particularly pleased to see them removed, but when a person on a bicycle with no brakes or lights (OK, maybe there's a rear "hipster cyst" obscured by his baggy shorts) and only a hint of bar tape says that bike lanes are "our only safety measure in the city" it makes me wish the city would administer some good old-fashioned parental discipline by taking away all the bike lanes until New York City cyclists start acting like grownups. I don't think we should go all Philadelphia and crack down on brakeless cyclists, but technically it's illegal to ride a brakeless bike in New York City, so if you're going to be an outlaw at least act like one. Don't demand the city furnish you with the safety you won't provide for yourself. It seems as though people want safety until it begins to clash with their personal aesthetic, and since you don't actually need to wear a bike lane or bolt it to your bike then it's all right to want one. Just blithely skip-stop your way around town, and when you inevitably fall-down-go-boom blame it on someone else." that's one of the impending issues: if we ask for traffic protections, we're going to have to submit to traffic controls. possibly cutting into one of the great advantages of getting around by bike here.

Rick in Louisville said...

The first question on the "sit poll" would be: "where do you want to sit?" One possible answer would be "On the sit POLE."

hillbilly said...

man I'm slow today. What I appreciate most about the bike lane fiasco is how confused it makes commenters on Gothamist, etc....they are so used to hating all the groups involved

mikeweb said...

My response to the "sit poll":

Yes, unless I want to stand.

Matt Moritz said...

Hrm, perhaps some product from http://freshballs.com/ would solve the frumunda stench issues around the stem.

Anonymous said...

Jim N. - To answer your question:
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+is+a+hipster%3F

Udder said...

I don't like looking at ugly old men with silly beards and funny hats. They should be banned.

Stupid Name said...

Just out of curiousity.

What is the population of Williamsburg?
What percentage are hipsters?
What percentage are Hasadim?
Who has the money?
Who votes?
Who has the Shomrim patrol, which can apprehend people?

If there was a hipster patrol? What good would they be with such a narrow window of activity?

Bloomberg does not seem to be a person with the desire to alienate anybody with lots of money.

Kiss those bike lanes goodby.

hillbilly said...

good one mike web, thanks. i was trying and failing to come up with a joke for that. you do good work

Billy Reid said...

doh

Sandblast said...

I thought that it was illegal to base policy/ laws on religion? Scary.

Stupid Name said...

Sandblast,

Where have you been for the last 9 years?

Surly Bastard said...

Not just GRAVITY - doesn't the lip ring and dread really add "GRAVITAS" to his statement?

Sandblast said...

lol hiding my eyes behind my hands, grimacing.

CommieCanuck said...

I don't like looking at ugly old men with silly beards and funny hats. They should be banned.

YES. ZZ Top sucks.

CommieCanuck said...

"sit poll" LOL... the funny names people have for sodomy sticks these days.

Billy Reid said...

--to whomever had their Guzzio seatpost with attached saddle stolen--

The location of your saddle is still unknown, but someone is selling your seatpost on craigslist as we speak, although they are referring it it as a "sit pole". Please continue to search the "for sale" section of craigslist for your saddle, but use the search terms "butt spot", "sitting thing", "ass pedestal", or "can holder"

Anonymous said...

I envy your writing prowess BSNYC.

Anonymous said...

I like how a fatigue-induced crack was repaired by some dude in a bike shop who has never taken a class in fracture mechanics.
My money's on "I know how I'll fix this crack, I'll add more material and make the member stiffer!" Ticking time bomb.

hillbilly said...

"make the member stiffer"

bikesgonewild said...

..."The Hasids...complained that the Bedford Avenue bike paths posed both a safety and *religious hazard.* ...hmmm...

..."Scantily clad hipster cyclists...made it difficult, the Hasids said, to obey religious laws forbidding them from *staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress*."...hmmm, again...

...i'm not sure if the equivalent of the bible is the talmud as regards the orthodox jewish faith but are there not appropriate quotes or instructional formats regarding dealing w/ temptations ???...

..."oh ye of little faith" comes to mind, considering the aggravated circumstances...

...it would seem that trying to live an orthodox lifestyle in a modern world would obviously present believers w/ constant challenges & while perhaps we should applaud those who can feel so strong in their faith, the real question might be "do you really have that faith or not ???...& if you doubt yourself, why would you blame others ???"...

...man up, hasids...life is full of temptations & building a ghetto will never exclude them all...

...now, as far as "hipsters" that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish (gefilte ???)...

CommieCanuck said...

"make the member stiffer"

hehehehehehehehhe..

CommieCanuck said...

"Scantily clad hipster cyclists...made it difficult, the Hasids said, to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress"

Whoa, that just put the kaibash on that "Stars of David" strip club I was about to invest in.

ant1 said...

CC, come on now, ZZ kicks ass.

mikeweb said...

Yes, hillbilly, the terms 'make the member stiffer' followed by 'ticking time bomb' is the just the type of talk that makes the Hasidim very nervous.

and jeez, if they didn't want to have to look at my naked torso riding up Bedford a few times last summer, they could asked me. They didn't have to go and tell Mom and Dad

Anonymous said...

Snob-
Cycling infrastructure is a great subject for you to address, no one else is doing so intelligently.
In the SF Bay Area, home of several cycling advocacy groups, well thought out bike infrastructure seems too muchh to ask for.
SF has stupid bike accessible turn-styles that tend to close on you and bike as you pass through, and route markers that foolishly include colored renderings of the olden Gate Bridge (why, I already know I'm in SF) that are fairly illegible at any distance. It's also the SFBC's policy that roller-bladers have access to bike lanes, and that cyclists shouldn't have to stop at stop signs.
Meanwhile, both Berkeley and Oakland are updating their metering systems, the heads of parking meters have been remove (in one case without prior notice, resulting in the theft of several street's worth of locked bicycles), making it difficult to find a secure place to lock up a bike. It would seem a simple, cost-effective chore to put some kind of cap on the meter posts, to solve the problem, but somehow I think the various municipalities will come up with stupider arty solutions: Racks shaped like bicycles, or peace signs, or some dumb shit like that. Fix gear bikes don't even rate as an irritation compared to this.
As for the Williamsburg Civil war, I'm going to have to side with the hipsters on this one. If the Hasidim objections asre that half naked girls are a distraction to their faith, well, that's like something the Taliban would say.

Strayhorn said...

The carbin sit poll reminds me that about half the bikes on Craigslist are obviously stolen. If the seller can't even tell you the size of the bike and/or answers the question "what kind of bike?" with "blue" you know the bike is most likely hot.

In the past week I've answered two CL ads and gotten perplexing answers. When I followed up with requests for clarification, both guys said they were "selling it for someone else."

Yeah, the guy you swiped it from most likely.

Anonymous said...

How is a bike lane a safety feature? Will it magically protect you from cars and trucks no matter how (or what) you ride? Idiot.

Speaking of which, that Giordana reminds me of a suburbanite, I mean hipster, I recently saw on my block trying to ride a very similar time trial bike from the 80-90's. I admired her aggressive urban riding as she slowly wobbled down the street like a drunken squirrel.

Stupid Name said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/06/fashion/weddings/06vows.html?ref=style

OOPS, I think the hassidim, have more pressing problems than naked flesh on their streets.

Nothing Wrong With It . . . said...

PUSY GOOD

Anonymous said...

I was thinking of maybe purchasing the sit poll.

Will I need to grease that thing up before inserting it? Can somebody maybe recommend just how far into my frame I'll need to jam the poll? Should I wiggle it around in my frame once it's inserted to insure it's a tight fit? Can somebody maybe post a helpful video link?

Anonymous said...

No, no, Raphael at Chelsea Bicycles has his degree in mechanical engineering and metallurgy but works in the bike shop because, you know, it pays so well.

ant1 said...

if i were the hipsters, i'd import some folks from portland and stage a weekly flaming lips ride down bedford until they repainted the bike lane. i'm sure the hasidim prefer scantily clad to full oregonian.

CommieCanuck said...

Should I wiggle it around in my frame once it's inserted to insure it's a tight fit? Can somebody maybe post a helpful video link?

You'll never find anything like that on the internet.

never.

CommieCanuck said...

CC, come on now, ZZ kicks ass.

Then 1984 happened.

Anonymous said...

I need photos of these scantily clad hipsters.

mikeweb said...

CC, I have to concur.

'Rough Boy' marked the beginning of the end.

Anonymous said...

STIF MMBR

ant1 said...

CC have you seen billy gibbons' biz card? http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/images/gibbonscard-esky-0407-460x2.jpg

yeah, the 80s were a little weak for them, but what 70s band had a good 80s?

CommieCanuck said...

Two words: Dev-o

Cranky Mule said...

Can I get some of those lane painting hipsters down here in Atlanta for a few nights. I commute on about 10 miles of bike lane less road that needs painting....

Can I get someone to clean the debris off the road too while they are at it, I almost ate shit in an island of wet and pulverized leaves this morning.

Brian said...

Strong opening. That first paragraph is pure gold. It perfectly describes most of the roadies I come across.

Test Tickle said...

i prefer the term "stool pusher."

balls.

Salty Seattle said...

"it's a different experience really. It rides aggressively as your weight is more towards the front than a regular track bike. It has great balance which is very important"

His writing was already getting clouded by the purchase he's saving up for: a pair of large breasts.

Bad Lawyer said...

years ago I represented a hip young woman (out-lesbian)who was the first female secular English teacher at a local Yeshiva. It didn't last long, the Rabbi, giving her the bad news (she surreptitiously recorded the conversation), said, "Annie, you do a good job, but the boys are giggling about your earrings and they talk about your stockings on the way home and the parents are becoming upset. I hear about it. You have to go."

This infantilism cost the Yeshiva some money and my attorney fees.

ant1 said...

CC - i wouldn't consider devo a 70s band though.

CommieCanuck said...

Strong opening. That first paragraph is pure gold. It perfectly describes most of the roadies I come across.

It also works well for the Harley motorcycle crowd.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ant1, you are onto something. If you want to stir up the Hasidim, import the Vagina ball and roll it around Williamsburg until they relent on the bike lane issue.

CommieCanuck said...

sigh..ok...the Police.

Anonymous said...

Test Tickle: old joke --

Q: What did one guy say to the other guy in the gay bar?

A: Would you like me to push in your stool?

CommieCanuck said...

wait, Ant1...I apologize for nothing:

Devo (pronounced /ˈdiːvoʊ/ DEE-voh, originally /diːˈvoʊ/ dee-VOH)[1] is an American New Wave band formed in Akron, Ohio in 1973. They are best known for their 1980 hit "Whip It", which made it to #14 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Their style has been variously classified as punk, art rock and post-punk, but they are most often remembered for their late 1970s and early 1980s New Wave sound.

ant1 said...

cranky mule - talk to the faster mustache crowd about that.

http://fastermustache.org/

Test Tickle said...

anon 3:30:

ooh, we have to stop meating like this!

balls.

Bad Lawyer said...

I live in a wonderful part of the world, with a great deal of variety, ethnic populations all without the density of NYC. You can ride east from where I live and quickly be in hilly exurban neighborhoods and ride east and south from there and be in Amish farmland. Whenever I read about the Hasids and hipsters I recall riding with a pal up these rural roads where the Amish kids stare at the cyclists in their strange wildly colored, skin tight kits--maybe it's the lack of Amish political power or press--but, I don't recall any objections or problems, ever. Greater tolerance, could the Amish be less insular than the Hasids? Seems unlikely.

ant1 said...

CC - why did you have to go and ruin a perfectly good opinion (mine) with your facts and counterexample?

tim bulger said...

someone needs to tell that dude in Queens that it is a "Chair Pole"

Bad Lawyer said...

Funny, CC that you'd get in a debate about DEVO, a very good friend of mine is an ex-spouse of one of the co-founding members--DEVO absolutely was a 70s band.

Bad Lawyer said...

devo was short for de-evolution--Mark Mothersbaugh, a RugRat composer was a founding member.

The Brooklyn Fritz said...

BSNYC -- your equating Hasidim and hipsters was brilliant, as usual

ant1 said...

devo also has a branch of biology named after them: evo devo.

esau bin necker said...

rednecks dont likes hipsters

mooslims dont likes joos

mooslims and rednecks neether likes commies

commies likes mooslims even tho mooslims dont likes them back

commies likes mooslims becos they aint republicans

rednecks usually is republicans unless yor union then there is lots of rednecks democrats even tho obowmao swears there aint

rednecks and mooslims is a lots like each other

some of us rednecks turned mooslim wo we can beet the shit out of our wimen without getting in to trouble with the feds

i aint gots no ideal why i felt the need to share that with you all

so fuck you

leroy said...

I rode through Williamsburg yesterday and no one was scantily clad.

If you ask me, this sounds like another Bust Magazine hoax.

I've already wasted enough time on the Williamsburg Bridge pretending to change a flat tire.

I'm not about to miss Hannukah by hanging out on Bedford Avenue waiting for Victoria's Secret models on fixed gear bikes.

Nope, sorry. Won't get fooled again.

Folks often tell me I'm not nearly as dumb as I look.

Stupid Name said...

Amish are just menonites gone bad.

Or is it the other way around.

They both dress in black, and have beards(even their women).

Sort of like primitive hipsters, or de-evolved hipsters.

Critical Ass said...

Hipster Olympics in case you haven't seen it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAO4EVMlpwM

Anonymous said...

Bad lawyer, funny, I've been to Amish country a few times, yet I don't recall seeing any Amish kids in strange wildly-colored skintight kits.

Shram said...

I'm buggin!

flynn said...

a hipster and a hasid walk into a bike lane...

leroy said...

I'm davining into ...

leroy said...

I'm davining into ...

leroy said...

I'm davining into ...

bikesgonewild said...

...so the hasid sez "you know, mister tight pants bicycle riding boychick, w/ us orthodox jews & the bagels, it's not so much, fershtay ???"...

...to which the hipster sez "...

leroy said...

I meant davening.

I'm davening into a headwind on the lead out to the BSNYC 100 podium minyan.

bikesgonewild said...

...c'mon, somebody, anybody !!!...to which the hipster sez "...

Kent Johnson said...

Snobby for Sheriff!

Can we get back to the editorials on Fashion soon please.

ant1 said...

bgw, i have no idea what you're going for here, but i'll give it a try:

..to which the hipster sez "...

"sweet beard dude."

bikesgonewild said...

...ant1...i've got nothing more in mind than just see where it might go...

.....to which the hipster sez "...

"sweet beard dude." & then...

Billy Reid said...

Dee-voh played in DC the other week and no "whip it" was present. sad . . .

Anonymous said...

JEWC ANOE

HASIDIM BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE 'EM

Anonymous said...

CC, according to this week's Newsweek magazine, "...Canada is now just another eco-hostile petrostate..." So there, take that!

Anonymous said...

Aren't these the same people who wanted women to cover-up when they ride their bicycles by?

Haha, seems like these guys are real jokers... Seems to me these issues are connected, isn't your city council suppose to be secular? Next muslims will be asking for the removal of the Jewish pedestrians with mega-brows from sidewalks outside their mosques! Perhaps your mayor will acquiesce their cries in return for a vote.

Kale said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kale said...

It looks like I missed out on another exciting topic, if it weren't for that goddamn botched wheel swap I would have been able to make a relevant comment, but here it goes:

SISY PHUS

kale said...

.....to which the hipster sez "...

"sweet beard dude." & then...

the Hasid says "thanks, buddy. Hey, would you mind turning on a couple lights for me?"

kale said...

meh

Pope Benedict Arnold said...

I think the solution is to turn Bedford Ave. into a linear B&H Photo. Instead of that conveyor belt that delivers items, they could employ scantily clad hipsters. After all, they don't seem to have any problem at all taking fists full of cash from the scantily clad who flock to B&H every day (except Friday afternoon, Saturday and the innumerable Jewish holidays) during the summer. B&H is like a safe zone where both Hasidim and the scantily clad just get along over fistfuls of money. Where do you think those hipsters got their video equipment anyway, eh?

Anonymous said...

.....to which the hipster sez "...

"sweet beard dude." & then...

follows with,

"ever seen a Gaza Stripper"?

bikesgonewild said...

...to which the hasid sez "oy vey, you momzer...now you know it's the hole in the bagel we object to, not the bagel, boychick...sheesh, such a suggestive food !!!"...

Andy Pandy said...

Blinkers or castration, works at the race track to keep them ponies in line and mind on the job and off the cute frilly oooops filly in front

kerry said...

You all should live here, In Canberra, Australia - we have a Lobby called Pedal Power- which is most of the cyclists in the city( pop about 300,000). They give the Pollies hell, when anything gets up their shorts. You want lanes, you get em!!
You can even report bad spots on pavers, dirt, glass etc and the sweepers have to come pick it up!

kerry said...

But alas, Mexican food here is some godawful concoction. I miss my burritos being made by some nice little Mexican immigrant man named Juan...

streepo said...

Hey, I think my burritos are made by the same guy!!

CommieCanuck said...

"...Canada is now just another eco-hostile petrostate..." So there, take that!

Canada is the new America. Our dollar is going to be worth more soon, we're at war in Afghanistan for some stupid trumped-up reason, we're getting fatter and stupider every day.

I'm looking forward to going into a restaurant in NY and asking for the bathroom, and when I get that dumb look and the "ohhh, you mean the RESTroom", I can say, "what?! don't any of you assholes speak Canadian?

Then I'll try and order poutine off the menu with a rye and water, none of that faggy bourbon, and talk aboot the real game of football with three downs. Next day, I'll set up a business with minimum wage labour and pollute.

erikka said...

You're really wrong on this one. Sorry, but no, I usually agree with you but this time I can't. People who have brakes, people who wear helmets, people who obey the law like ME use that lane on a regular basis when going from south to north Brooklyn and given that Bedford is an avenue, cars barely heed speed limits and riding down it can be a religious experience unto itself when people are speeding by at 50-60 mph. I use that lane when riding at night because I know it's safer than any of the surrounding streets, and because the buses that speed up and down Bedford picking up the Hasidic tykes drive like maniacs and double park.

i don't know why you're trying to use your bias against hipsters and fixies (we all hate them, whatever) in an issue that is supposed to be about creating a space for people to bike safely. So some assholes with no brakes use the lane sometimes. So do a lot of decent commuters as well. Getting doored doesn't build character and this elitism is just as bad as the fixie crap. C'mon, son...

ant1 said...

erikka, what are you saying exaclty? that because you ride down that street with a helmet and brakes we can't try to find some humor in hipsters repainting the bike lane? nobody is saying there shouldn't be a bike lane there. snob just hilariously pointed out the irony of people riding without basic safety equipment complaining about something that makes them less safe. how is that wrong? or how does it have anything to do with you, or anyone else that rides down that street?

kale said...

erikka-

If you want a relaxing commute, try any of the other Aves paralleling Bedford. The city has spent lots of time and money to get 'commuters' off of that clusterfuck street by practically turning Kent ave into a greenway. Too bad they won't sweep up the glass or broken pallets. Leave the indigenous population alone so they return to their speeding, doubleparking, jaywalking, bonerfree routine.

mikeweb said...

"C'mon son..." she said.

Nice!

Anonymous said...

all you ladies lick my love pump

Christian Fromunda Hug said...

-Can't believe I'm the first to say this, but here goes.

SITP OLE?

hillbilly said...

erikka, there are plenty of options, and the lanes are a work in progress, some will vanish, more will appear, there are other options in the area. the reasons for it suck, i agree, but snobbie, as always, provides an intelligent and funny as hell account, just because yall don't see eye to eye doesn't mean he has it wrong. but i agree with mikeweb, "c'mon son" is classic.

keep on ridin! but don't think those lanes offer you more protection than they do.

flynn said...

Can someone PLEEEASE superimpose some Hasidm heads on a video of fixie trunk skids PLEASE? Cmon son

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that the handle bar is one of the apparently extremely rare Mavic TT handlebars according to
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/02/worst-of-nyc-craigslist-bike-ads-51.html

Anonymous said...

Sorry messed the
link
up in previous comment

Cycling safety said...

Safety is responsibility of every rider.

sammm said...

wow, how did this person who can't spell "carbin" find this "sit poll" in the first place. did they walk into a bike shop and ask for just that? damn!

"sit poll" has a dirty ring to it, i guess...ha!

Sang Fajar said...

nice

http://ps-otomotif.gunadarma.ac.id

viagra online said...

I love the rationale of the Hasidim that Scantily clad hipster cyclists attracted to the Brooklyn neighborhood made it difficult to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress...

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equalizer. Just remember to sign your ORGAN DONOR
CARD. Parts is parts. And no smoking tobacco.
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