Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Metamorphosis: The More Things Change, The More They Shouldn't

Franz Kafka famously wrote, "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect." Similarly, I have a persistent fear of awaking and finding myself transformed into a giant recumbent rider. Each morning, as I am roused from slumber by the soothing sounds of my Mambo Cactus Novelty Alarm Clock and fling my "Star Wars" comforter aside, I expect to find myself clad in a Primal jersey and half shorts, with a waist-length beard growing from my face and an orange flag mounted to the foot of the bed.

Fortunately, this has yet to happen, and I awoke once again this morning in my usual attire. Terror, however, would soon strike, for no sooner had I prepared my customary breakfast of hot tomato juice and pound cake than the Canadian who reads the news on TV reported that Central Park is rife with rabid raccoons:

As the preeminent training ground for aspiring marathoners, Category 4 roadies, and personal best-seeking triathletes, Central Park will likely become ground zero for a rabies outbreak that could potentially spread throughout the city, the tri-state area, and beyond. Even in disease-free circumstances there is significant tension among these groups, and if you add an infectious disease into the mix the results will be tragic. All it takes is for one jogger to be bitten on the ankle by a rabid raccoon when he or she stops to tighten the laces on his or her Nikes. Then, the jogger will begin foaming at the mouth and proceed to bite the next "Fred" on a Cervelo with nine centimeters of head-tube spacers who rides too close. He in turn will pass it on to a triathlete, and so on, until the city is overrun with crazed endurance athletes and becomes like "28 Days Later," only with dorks. I don't think I'm overreacting when I say our only hope at this point is to shut down and quarantine Central Park. In the meantime, if you see anybody "rocking" a teardrop helmet, Zipps, and a double-barreled ass cannon who looks like he's in the middle of brushing his teeth, stay even farther away than usual.

But New York City isn't the only place on the precipice of a doomsday scenario. A reader informs me that in Los Angeles a "hipster bike gang" is on the loose, and they're looting. Even worse, they don't have any "reprocusions:"


Attn. to the worthless F@#K who stole my wheels - $1 (Silver Lake)
Date: 2009-12-06, 5:20PM PST
Reply to: [deleted]

Alright you F@#king C@#T, or c@#ts since there were two of you. You think you can go and steal whatever you want with no reprocusions? well you are wrong. You and all your piece of shit hipster bike gang wannabe friends will bear the brunt of my frustration. You stole my red deep v rims from in front of Body bar spa on sunset. Well numb nuts we have cameras and I know what you look like and where you hang out. I'm not interested in going to the police, I'm not interested in retrieving my rims as I will have new ones soon. My only interest is removing your teeth with my bike lock and cutting your faces cheek to cheek. Your life isn't worth shit to me and I will cut through all your friends to get to you!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!!! I WILL AND WHEN I DO YOU WILL WISH YOU NEVER HEARD OF A FIXED GEAR BIKE. AND YOU WILL WISH YOUR WORTHLESS MOTHERS TAUGHT YOU NOT TO STEAL. So since you will only have your teeth for the next week or so I suggest you eat everything you can because I'm coming for you and I'm taking your F@#KING TEETH WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!


I don't actually know what "reprocusions" are, but since the poster is talking about a "hipster bike gang" then "reprocusions" are probably brakes. From the looks of things, they're probably related to the "iPod Zombies," but in this case they feast on Deep V rims. Interestingly, the poster seems fixated on tooth removal, which indicates that either he is a dentist or he has no teeth of his own. Either way, if you're wondering what a "hipster bike gang" looks like then this should give you a pretty good idea:


New York City isn't safe from hipster bike gangs either, though at least here their actions are far more benign:


It should surprise nobody that the hipsters have repainted the bike lanes, for when it comes to hipsters you can count on two things: they love bikes; and they own art supplies. Also, the bike lane repaint took place at 3:30am, which is within what sociologists call the "hipster activity window." This is a brief period of time (about two hours) during which they're alert and actually capable of getting something done, and it occurs during the early morning hours since they're just leaving the bars and have exactly the right combination of chemicals in their system. At all other times of the day they're either asleep, or else they're awake but useless (or what the rest of us call "sober and working").

In any case, in a world beset by rabid raccoons and hipster bike gangs, it's only natural that some of us should seek to transcend the misery of the material plane and attain peace and happiness. To this end, we would be well advised to consult His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who is widely regarded as the Grant Petersen of enlightenment. In fact, a reader informs me that irascible professional cyclist Cadel Evans is doing just that:


RadioShack may have hired Allen Lim, but to me the big news is that Cadel Evans is working with the Dalai Lama. In a sense, Evans's greatest adversary is himself, so if the World Champion can curtail his famous outbursts and train his mind to find inner peace then Tour de France victory could very well follow. I'll certainly miss snippy, cranky Evans, but it should be equally interesting to watch blissed-out, spiritual Evans in 2010. I just hope he is sincere and patient. Otherwise, just as he exploded after receiving the wrong wheel at the Vuelta last year, he could start throwing post-race tantrums because his guru gave him the wrong mantra.

Speaking of complaining, another reader informs me that cyclists are now complaining that they can't ride their bikes through fast food drive-thrus:


The call for equal treatment of cyclists at drive-thrus began in (brace yourself for a surprise) Portland, when Sarah Gilbert and her three children were refused service at Burgerville after rolling up on her Electra Townie. While their hearts were full of smugness, their bellies were empty, yet when they attempted to fill them with delicious and sustainable burgers they were spurned. So, this Rosa Parks of convenience took up the cudgel of self-satisfaction (a "cudgel" is a traditional Jewish dish, similar to a "kugel," and can be wielded as a weapon when stale). Now, all Burgerville drive-thrus are accessible by bicycle, but Transportation Alternatives thinks other establishments in other places should adopt this policy as well:

"It makes no sense," says Wiley Norvell, the communications director for Transportation Alternatives, a New York-based bicycle, pedestrian and mass transit advocacy group. "If it's not dangerous in a bike lane with cars going 35 miles an hour, how can it be dangerous in a parking lot with people traveling less than 10 miles an hour? There are fewer safety issues than on an average street."

This comment underscores a fundamental problem with alternative transportation advocates, which is that they usually don't drive. If they did, even occasionally, they'd know that there are fewer places more fraught with motor vehicular danger than the clustercoitus that is a parking lot. I'd rather ride a bicycle on almost any street in the metropolitan area than in a parking lot, where drivers circle for spots and admonish their children and root around in their shopping bags and run into each-other with alarming frequency. If you've been anywhere near the parking lot of the Fairway supermarket in Red Hook, Brooklyn--on foot, in a car, or on a bike--you know that Van Brunt Street almost seems calm by comparison. Sure, those trucks are pretty scary, but once you've ever experienced the horror of a Park Slope brownstone owner bearing down on you with a shopping cart full of organic groceries and a spoiled toddler who already has an iPhone it's not something you'll ever want to relive. Still, TA feels we should be able to queue up with the SUVs and join their drivers in the great Feast of Crap:

Transportation Alternatives thinks that policy should be changed.

"We're not all health nuts," Norvell says. "Everyone wants a Big Mac now and again."


I'm not even remotely a health nut, but I don't want a Big Mac ever, and the last thing we need is for McDonald's to start recognizing cyclists as consumers. Once that happens, it's only a matter of time before they start marketing "Hipster Happy Meals." The "Hipster Happy Meal" will come with a veggie burger and you'd get a free cog inside. ("Ooh! I got a purple one!") Eventually, they'll also start doing movie tie-ins, so when the next big fixed-gear movie "drops" you'll be able guzzle gallons of soda out of a matching collectible cup.

Actually, one of my favorite things about cycling is that it's so non-conducive to things like going to fast food drive-thrus. A sedentary person in an Expedition might have to constantly fight the desire to visit the McDonald's drive-thru, but when you're riding a bike it doesn't even cross your mind in the first place. Really, by not allowing bikes McDonald's and Burger King and the rest of them are doing us a favor. Anyway, what's next? Getting upset when they won't bleed your Avid hydros at Pep Boys?

I'm not so sure that as cyclists we should automatically copy everything that happens in Portland. If we do, next we'll all be practicing "dandycross:"

McDonald's won't let me ride my bike through the drive-thru, but maybe they'll let me "portage" it. Still, some barriers weren't meant to be crossed.

122 comments:

Charles said...

Bklyn in the house.....

g said...

podium

Anonymous said...

top 10

Anonymous said...

Top 10, two days in a row!!

rezado said...

hi-rez

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

Top ten?

Nogocyclist said...

I lost.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

mikeweb said...

Dang!

I always sucked at crits...

Anonymous said...

close

libertyonbikes! said...

crapped out!

hillbilly said...

me too mikeweb, me too....let's go get a burger, fries, and.....you know the McD's/hipster happy meal would feature some sort of "collect all 10" spokecard deal.

Astroluc said...

the blog retains it's integrity.

Anonymous said...

damn...top 20 tho!

Anonymous said...

BSNYC - that's all you have to say about the repainting of the bike lanes in williamsburg? I don't like hipsters either but at least give them credit for doing something constructive for a change. How about the mayor pandering to the hasids for votes? how about the hasids getting so up in arms about seeing a few hipster asscracks? this article is rife with material man.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Disgruntl Ed. said...

What? No rabid raccoons at the drive-through?

Otherwise a fine post.

Salty Seattle said...

Wow! I made it up to Pack Fill!

Salty Seattle said...

In other news, I'm developing a new, uni-sex fragrance. I'm calling it 'Workload'.

I'll probably sell it Urban Outfitters, or where ever young, urbanites need more excuses for not having an actual nightlife.

Anonymous said...

yeah

Anonymous said...

mjscqpspdfmdnapdcca

db said...

That drive-through spat is such a non-issue. Someone wants some attention. Nice job of offsetting the physical benefits of cycling by fueling up with crap, Portland mom.

Here's what I love about NYC: Bloomberg's supporters openly admit the lanes were erased to placate certain voters ahead of the last election. That's public service.
-

libertyonbikes! said...

thanks for the evolution of the hipster. somehow I misplaced a couple of those years. I think I just forced the Ashton-trucker-hat from my mind.....
now it's all coming back.

g said...

I think that if I were burgerking or mcdonalds, I would get some portland mom and her three kids to come get angry about my drive through. Then, when I open it up to 'cyclists', I look like a huge hero and get a load of free publicity. next month, I open a jog up window and go for that market segment.
brilliant!

mikeweb said...

The trustafarian is conspicuously absent from that hipster evolution (devolution?) chart.

Billy Reid said...

evolution of the Bike Snob

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

If the Dalai Lama rode a bicycle it would be a recumbent. Or maybe a unicycle.

Strayhorn said...

So, cyclists want to drive-thru a burger joint? What, were all the smoothie places closed? Couldn't REI set up a drive-thru so they could pay full retail for Honduran-made jerseys?

How 'bout a cycle-through for Odwalla energy drinks? Clif Bars?

The possibilities are endless.

Anonymous said...

"hipster activity window." funny, funny!

mikeweb said...

The stupid thing about the Bedford ave. bike lane closure is that cyclists will still ride the street. The first I thought was "Great! So, the left car lane just became a bigger version of the bike lane."

If fact I wouldn't be surprised if the Bedford ave. denizens are going to be forced to avert their eyes from even more buttcracks and naked torsos than ever this summer.

youaretheengine said...

All You Dandies Shoulder My Bicycle

Billy Reid said...

"clustercoitus"

very nice, sir!

Thomas said...

All You Hasidim See My Butt?

All You Housewives Stop Munching Burgers

Anonymous said...

Hasidim-thats some funny stuff! I personally know what to do with the retinal images I retain of athletic youngsters...

grog said...

Muskrat is a delicacy in lower delaware, but yes we got no rabid racoons.
ICES NICE

Surly Bastard said...

How about a Kafka Alarm Clock? You could wake-up to that great sentence from The Metamorphosis, or my personal favorite from the Trial:

“Someone must have been telling lies about Joseph K., for without having done anything wrong he was arrested one fine morning”

Comes in your choice of black or black.

mlliu said...

It looks as if 2009 "meta-nerd" hipster has also gained the power of flight, or floating away.

And I'm not a big fan of fast food establishments but I'm even less of a fan of standing in line. I like drive-thru's for their convenience, and I don't understand a place refusing service to someone on a bicycle as long as the cyclist isn't interfering with auto traffic. I wonder if it's more of a liability issue, lest a customer get hurt and sue.

Grinner said...

Strange, whenever i had the craving for a cheeseburger, small fry, and large orange drink, the McD on 4th and 37th was quite accommodating of my bike in the drive-thru. Maybe it's just a stretch-bike bias.....

Surly Bastard said...

RABD RABI

mlliu said...

Snob: Regarding the Star Wars comforter, it would help if you set up an Amazon wish list instead of just dropping hints.

Thomas said...

Methinks a sweet purple ano-cog would best collabo with my old-school "Free Inside!" Cereal box spoke reflector!!! Come on, admit it you had 'em too...

Bad Lawyer said...

BSNYC--you say it all in the title of the post...but, thanks for humorously expiating on the things that shouldn't be happening to the beautiful pursuit of cycling. Of course you do this regularly, but today you hit a number of items on my list.

RB1 said...

'If the rode a bicycle it would be a recumbent. Or maybe a unicycle.'

The Dalai Lama rides an omnicycle. om - get it ?

Matt said...

I've ridden through MacDonald's drive-throughs as long ago as 1980 and as recently as last year without any problems. Wells Fargo, my bank, is a lot snottier about it and sends deposits back through the vacuum tube thing so now I just go to the drive-through ATM while the Wells Fargo employees gesticulate in silent and impotent rage behind their glass.

esau bin necker said...

if that silly fucker thretend to come to vipor and gets all our teeth hed sure be disapointed

Anonymous said...

I know why the hasids are angry. The woman in the photo is the problem. She is going the wrong way on the street. I too would get that lane shut down.

Bernard Thevenet said...

What is worse: Hipsters on fixed gear or Wall Street on Cervelos, I want to know!!!!!

Anonymous said...

What house is Brooklyn in?

I not understand the first comment.

Does the person have problems?

Anonymous said...

Forget the Star Wars comforter.
Upgrade to the Tauntaun sleeping bag!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/bb2e/

ervgopwr said...

I am a health nut and have healthy nuts?!

AYHSMHN!

But really, why would you want to line up behind an auto in the drive through (thru!)

It's not like you're leaving the kids in the car with the windows rolled up.

Anonymous said...

The Dalai Lama might not ride bikes, but his supporters do:

http://www.uyghurnews.com/tibetan/Read.asp?TibetNews=press-invitation-bike-rally-protest-in-new-delhi&ItemID=SG-1172009975355200414624

hackneyed sojourn said...

I don't have to be on my bike to be behind the curve-- but I have to mention, yesterday's post was damn sharp (and not just in the cheesy sense either). Great work.

Anonymous said...

Learn to love BSNYC.

Anonymous said...

Hasids don't like to see asscrack they just like to smell like one.

Anonymous said...

If they don't want your bike in the drive thru, then drive it through the queue in the lobby.

Anonymous said...

Some Hasidim wear white socks tucked in short pants so the trouser-bottoms do not touch the ground (which in former times was likely to be a source of waste, which is a Biblical prohibition).

As they dress in a certain way to be Hasidim, why do they expect others to dress as Hasidim, when they are not? Ass-crackery and such keeps me going. but note the shared trousers between Hasidim and Hipsters.

ant1 said...

maybe one of the issues with bikes in drive thrus is that they may not trigger the inductive loop that lets the workers know someone is waiting to put in an order. is anyone a drive thru expert around here?

sheboygan car accident lawyer said...

Nice, once you get all the cogs, are you allowed to put them on a cassette and upgrade to the rodie happy meal.

mikeweb said...

ant1,

I guess that's what steel rims are for.

in re the "bike-in" issue, my guess is that it's everyone living in fear of being sued combined with a deep seated fear of anything new or different or out of the norm.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I remember back in the day when people did have multi-colored ano-parts on their bikes. Christ I am getting old. I still have some blue pieces in the garage.

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hillbilly said...

hincapie is tweeting about how great his 300 dollar hincapie rain shell works. twitter has a great ability to make me hate people i used to like. he might be out-raphaing rapha. i guess he at least spares us the "prose"

Isolation Helmet said...

SNOB I was taking a gander at the latest Bicycling Magazine issueway when I noticed an advertisement in the back for a wool hat which hides the face of the model.

Could this be you selling out to the man once again?

fearless yakov said...

Cadel's gonna get total consciousness on his deathbed. So he's got that goin for him. Which is nice.

Brian said...

HLLO DALI

Cyclin' Missy said...

I rode my bike through the drug store drive-thru once because I didn't have my bike lock with me and didn't want to leave my bike propped unsecured against the entrance railing (no bike rack). The pharmacists looked at me very strangely and just went along with it. I don't think they'd ever seen a bike come through before.

bk jimmy said...

ant1

I think the initial article a while back about the drive thru mom had a fast food rep saying pretty much what you said.

bikesgonewild said...

..."kafka was a fucking optimist" - schopenhauer...

kale said...

Could one transfer the moral from the metamorphosis to the hipster evolution, substituting 'hipsters' for Gregor, and 'society' vis a vis Hasidim for Gregor's family? 'Hipsterism' has metamorphosed into an insect, incapable of providing anything worthwhile to a society dependent on new hope and new ideas. Society has been forced to both take care of itself, and also provide for the 'hipsters' in their incapacitated state. Eventually, those closest to the 'hipsters' will begin to ignore, then loathe their existence, forgoing any past rapport. Then, they'll kill the 'hipsters' and move someplace nicer than Brooklyn with their hot daughters.

Fred Clydesdale said...

wait, i'm not clear: is the 9cm of spacers the problem, or is it the cervelo, or is it only when they're found in the same place? i mean, i've got great huge piles of spacers, but they're not on a superfantastic cervelo.

i would hate to be flying my fred flag without knowing it. what should i do?

Salty Seattle said...

Anon 2:24.

I've done that! It turned out to be cleaner, and the little mouse-maze rope-thing made navigating the bike through the line even more interesting.

But hey, when you're in Seattle, and you need a caffeinated beverage..

Shram said...

Ant1, there you go trying to use logic and stuff--jeez.

That's actually (one reason) why I on my bike, and sometimes on the motorcycle, blow red lights, especially at side streets; I never know if the light's going to change for me or not (assuming no cars are around), and I don't see the need to wait around to find out.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw, bsnyc/rtms...your "usual attire" looks like something you stole from my pal gary fisher's daily wardrobe...

...do you perchance wear a bowler hat for your somnambulant forays ???...

...just wondering...

Carl "Commie" Spackler said...

So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking.

So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga.

So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."


So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

urchin said...

If you change the sensor at the drive-thru/ough to detect bikes, you often have the problem of the neighborhood rapscallions setting off the sensor and disappearing. The workforce available to these establishments (and I was there once) is not really prepared to deal with this.

It is a little pitiful that you are required to bring a few thousand pounds of steel in order to get a couple of burgers at 2AM.

Ah, to be hungry and in college again...

ant1 said...

shram - i apologize for that momentary lapse of passion.

richard said...

WTF? How could snob not notice and then slay the Felt Brougham in the evolution of the hipster spread?

OnTheDick said...

i was going to call you out on the old news (Sarah Gilbert), but man did you finish that one well. you really came through BS, and I thank you.

Test Tickle said...

hey, L.A. guy, relax, eh! although it's typical of you Hollywood types ... all talk (in this case type). if you already know who the culprit is, take care of it. No need to make a post about it and convict yourself for the legal actions that are undoubtedly coming your way (knocking one's teeth out is a much more serious offense than stealing a set of red Dork V Rims).

jeez, criminals (violent ones at that) are really stupid.

balls.

CommieCanuck said...

another great movie quote applicable to this post:

"Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this motherfucker down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfucker down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle."

"Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen."

Anonymous said...

For all of you who are hoarding your Chris King headsets for the Apocalypse:

Travel Case

CommieCanuck said...

It is a little pitiful that you are required to bring a few thousand pounds of steel in order to get a couple of burgers at 2AM.

Technology can solve this, the bike could have a generator that stores energy and powers an electromagnet when the urge to eat cow feces strikes, pannier bags could be water tight to hold in the inevitable Super size vomitus and/or diarrhea.

Or, people could get off their fat doughy asses and burn 13 calories to walk into the crap sandwich shack of choice.

Jym said...

=v= It pains me to see a writer of your stature falling for the New York Post's weakness for alliteration. There's nothing "hipster" about those bike lanes, which connect the Williamsburg Bridge to the non-hipsterly parts of Brooklyn, but the Post (a.k.a. the print version of Fox News) needed an H-word to go with "Hasid."

Anonymous said...

Cyclin' Missy, the things you will do to score some Loratabs.

Anonymous said...

JYM is right.
That is all.

Stupid Name. said...

"I have a persistent fear of awaking and finding myself transformed into a giant recumbent rider."

Don't worry, be happy, it won't happen until you lose half of your cognitive skills, and most of your frontal lobe.

You know it will have happened already when you need to type "Bklyn in the house."

What a douce-bag!

Dog Shot said...

Brilliant fearless yakov. You'll get nothing and like it.

Bad Lawyer said...

Doesn't the guy with the "cross sling" look like he just step out of a circa 1970 English Leather ad.

Stupid Name said...

"Dave-O was good at making handmade cages, but these guys are better(chinese). Not to mention, we can sell a cage for less than $129.95..."

Wow, I hate to be a hater, but are you serious.

Dave-O needs to "colabo" with the german that makes the toy tri-water container.

The world will implode if those two are in the same room.

just an average averroes said...

kafka - to be is to get fucked

sartre - to be is to fuck

kant - fuck not, lest ye be fucked

descartes - i fuck, therefore i am

camus - i am, therefore i fuck

hume - what the fuck

plato - the perfect fuck is out there, somewhere

aristotle - the fuck is the form of the body

macintyre - no one around here gives a fuck

bikesgonewild said...

..."what the fuck ???"...

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...two serious cycling heart patients, a famous one named robin williams & a notorious one named bikesgonewild passed, smiled & acknowledged each other out in the nippy cold on their rides today...

...glad to know ain't nothin' stoppin' either one of us...

leroy said...

I rode past a flock of Segals this morning at the eternal bus stop near the new BQE adjacent bike lane.

And it made me realize that the things that unite the cycling and Hasidic communities are greater than those that divide us.

I don't mean to brag, but my climbing form looks just like davining.

Swashbuckling Dandy said...

I read somewhere that you can put a powerful magnet on the bottom of a bike (motor or normal) and it will trigger stoplight sensors. Since my bike is steel it was an easy thing to try. It actually seems to work, but not always. I expected to be hauling around a collection of ferrous debris after a while, but it has stayed clean so far. Maybe I'll get me one the size of a Hardee's Breakfast Biscuit and see how that works.

kerry said...

' I don't want a Big Mac ever, and the last thing we need is for McDonald's to start recognizing cyclists as consumers' Snob for that -I love you!

Oh and the Dalai lama doesn't ride a unicycle, hes off the wheel. Must have been ) exploding)crabon.
And yes, bikes dont weigh enough to trigger the sensor( dont ask me how I know this :( )

Anonymous said...

All you haters can be jealous of mah gold bike!

mikeweb said...

bgw,

I hope you gave him a friendly "nano-nano", and no I don't mean that as a euphamism for something that rhymes with euphamism.

massageghost said...

you don't have to steal wheels to lose teeth. all one must do is ride a bus in san francisco. police sketch included

http://neogaf.net/forum/showthread.php?t=380939

ant1 said...

ant100th!

sheboygan car accident lawyer said...

The leather component gatherer really needs to get into penny farthing.

Anonymous said...

The masochistic hipsters are reading your blog believing that they aren't the target of your hipster rants.

Anonymous said...

dead blog

velocodger said...

I've found I can trigger the induction loop by putting my back wheel just inside the loop on the right or left side. Only works if the loop is visible, though.

míchel said...

Gregor Samsa did not wake up as an insect. "Ungeziefer" does not mean insect, it means vermin, and that matters quite a lot to what Kafka was trying to say.

crispx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crispx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crispx said...

OK, I got it this time...

Recumb-Ant

Socrates said...

Great post.

Anonymous said...

The ultimate suburban fixie loser -

http://boulder.craigslist.org/bik/1512712978.html

>
so here's the deal, i lost my bike in longmont last night. somehere around 17th and gay, i think. some friends and i were drunk with a combo of shitty roads and i ate shit (a bunch) and denounced riding for the night. i know it sounds lame, and it is, but i lost it. cant find it and many hours have been spent searching for it. its a MAROON NISHIKI FIXED GEAR. it has bullhorn bars and brown rims. if you found it or know where it is i would gladly compensate whoever has my beloved ride. thanks if youre my hero, if not i hope you find it funny, amiel

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