Friday, October 2, 2009

BSNYC Frinary Fun Quiz!

I am a person of many phobias: revolving doors, rabid monkeys, and distracted yogurt salesmen are just a few things of which I live in constant fear. Another thing I'm afraid of is that clothing companies will stop building promotional bicycles. Surely, if the constant procession of such bicycles were to end it would herald some catastrophe in the same way a dead canary might indicate a gas leak. Fortunately, we appear to be safe for now, as a reader has forwarded me yet another fashion bike:

I was especially taken with the wheels, which apparently feature "hammer marks." This can only mean that Mavic is now taking its test wheels and rebranding them as "fashionably distressed:"

Meanwhile, just because Cadel Evans is now the World Champion of the World, this does not mean that he is finished complaining. The truth is, Evans is an artistic genius whose medium is the complaint, and a reader has forwarded me the following Tweet which indicates that he is already incorporating his victory into his extensive yet intricate tapestry of kvetching:
Not only that, but I also noticed that demands on Evans's time are now such that he can't even ride his bike:

This is clearly a bold attempt to appropriate Levi Leipheimer's old "Let Levi Ride" campaign, which he (or, rather, The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company) subsequently scrapped once justice was done and Leipheimer was finally allowed to unleash his devastating conservative riding upon the peloton once again. Still, that first album was classic:

Speaking of comebacks, I was pleased to learn that Dennis Hopper, who was recently hospitalized for flu-like symptoms, has not only been released but is also back at the helm of his Twitter account and is already weighing in on vital issues of the day:

As unsettling as this may seem to the "squares," I'd still rather share the road with him than with that yogurt guy.

Now, in the spirit of following Dennis Hopper's example (with regard to lessons, not psychedelic pantsless dune buggying), I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, take a deep breath, have a friend, loved one, or helper monkey massage your shoulders, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know (and your helper monkey will screech with delight), and if you're wrong you'll get an Australian cycling lesson. (An "Australian cycling lesson" is not a euphemism for getting beaten with a 27.2 seatpost, but it's close.)

As always, thanks very much for reading and for forwarding on items like Australian cycling lessons. Ride safe this weekend, and watch out for workaholic yogurt moguls.

--BSNYC/RTMS





1) A Connecticut inline skater recently flew into a rage because he was forced to share the bike path with:




2) Fixed-gear riders get knuckle tattoos, and cyclocross riders get:






3) It is possible to have nipples on your back.

--True
--False





4) Fill in the blank: "The wheel keeps its _________."

--Sterility





5) What's going on here?





8) "It was bound to happen." Fixed-gear riders have finally dispensed with:

--Handlebars
--Pedals
--Saddles
--Riding



***Special Not Really All That Safe For Work But Only Mildly Dirty Bonus Question***


In the world of bicycle erotica, the wheel keeps its virginity.

--True
--False

133 comments:

Anonymous said...

Johnny B Bitches....

rezado said...

Man, I love frinary

sharkboots said...

me

Anonymous said...

just missed

Fred said...

Top Ten Fred!

Astroluc said...

booyaa!

Anonymous said...

Top Ten?

mikeweb said...

HopperTwitter - hellz yeah!

Bad Lawyer said...

Top ten!

hillbilly said...

Thank google it's frinary!!!

Btwn Cooper (as in Mini) and Rock Racing building bikes, it's a bad week to be a bike

Bad Lawyer said...

you, know if weren't for these bad knees, ol' Bad Lawyer would be podium.

sspeier said...

12th!!!!

landis in 06 said...

put the yogurt on my nipple please

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Asterisk said...

FRDY QUIZ

Anonymous said...

yeahh so slow

Astroluc said...

That in-line skater flipping out on the father and kid just goes to show ya how mentally unstable "rollerbladers" are!

damn... what a tool.

and I got 2 wrong :(

INCO RECT

mike poole said...

woulda been podium if not for the wheel fotos....

Bad Lawyer said...

I don't get the handlebars on the fixies and designer urban bikes; isn't the one-position format an invitation to carpal tunnel? Wait, I remember now, they don't use the handlebars. Ride 'em hand-free so you can work the iPhone and the Garmin--check your heart rate on the poser, er, power meter.

mikeweb said...

got 7.

Yeah, the extra credit content is really slowing down the group here...

sufferist said...

Thanks for a week of great posts. Now I can face the oncoming onslaught of freetime with a smile on my face.

mikeweb said...

Couldn't find that Aussie attack of the killer manatees video when someone mentioned it here.

I like how drivers claim ownership of the roads as if cyclists don't pay a penny of the taxes that go to build them.

Seriously, Cadel should go on their show - I would pay good tax money to see that clash...

SMAK LARD

hillbilly said...

careful snob, he's onto you

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/bik/1402557506.html

have a great weekend everyone

leroy said...

Well now, honestly.

Show me someone who isn't afraid of rabid monkeys selling yogurt in revolving doors and I'll show you someone who is really distracted.

(Unless we're talking about macademia white chocolate frozen yogurt. I agree with Frilly. That changes everything.)

Ride safe all!

db said...

I can't believe this item from that Velonews Bio Pink article didn't make it into the quiz.

Oakley introduces a new “Elite” line of ultra-pricey eyewear and apparel, topped by the $4500 “C Six” sunglass machined from carbon fiber (a 96-hour construction process!).

Oh well, should work well for the next "style-over-substance" post. Ride on!

Anonymous said...

What's Jamie Lee Curtis have to do with anything?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:26pm,

She is the Activa yogurt spokes...person.

--BSNYC

ringcycles said...

Should have been 9/9. Clearly Snob has not spent enough time on the cyclocross circuit this season. All the serious cyclocrossers have Flemish diktats.

Gay Israel said...

Why'd you have to post those "wheel" photos, a perfectly good pair of under trousers RUINED!

Asterisk said...

Got the first five right, thought I was on a roll. And then tanked the rest. Damn!

Poor squirrel. Probably couldn't get through to Mark Vered for instructions on how to fix the situation.

*

ringcycles said...

The softcore hipster bike porn is definitely leaving the chasers gasping on the last lap. Poor distracted suckers.

Anonymous said...

WEST BRTO
GRND FNDO
LEVI GASP

red neckerson said...

well aw fuck me and ricky was going to take jim bobs pickup truck to chigoco to see them olimpic fellers i wanted to see the roundball and ricky wants to stare at all them gay looking gimnast guys but obama done fucked it all up

we is getting used to it

speedwobble said...

Is the young lady in the bonus question also a wheel tester? What unit and method is she using and is it up to the diminutive frenchman test?

Anonymous said...

My kinda town, Chi...t.

CommieCanuck said...

I wanna work for Oakley, they make $47 an hour there.

You know what pisses me off? Fat BBWs on TV with fake accents staring at my lycra ass. We should all surround her house at 4am and do this.

Jamie Curtis has twice the chance of getting laid of any of us losers.

speedwobble said...

commie.

Don't fret about the fat aussies, she likely couldn't even catch you in her car. I imagine her wheezing just pressing down on the gas pedal.

CommieCanuck said...

I feel sorry for that squirrel, but at least he only has his head stuck in a yogurt cup, as opposed to Magda Szubanski's head stuck up her ass.

yogisurf said...

Minus 2.

jolene said...

that skinny girl sher looks like shes good at rimjobs boy howdy i dont know about that but i guess that pink lube coems with flavors or shes just into blow hey if yall knows where my cosin colleen went to i think shes into that also

Brian said...

Do you think that Magda, like the squirrel, was after the remnants of yogurt?

BUTT YGRT

Sharkey said...

You can always tell a virgin wheel by its 'quick release'

Epic ride tonight, don't show and you won't know:

1st Friday 1st Amendment Ride!

Exercise your right to operate your non-polluting vehicle in the streets of the City! This Friday, October 2nd, 7pm Union Square North. More people, more fun! Spread the word.

Every month, the first Friday is the new last Friday!

Test Tickle said...

Dear Magda,

http://www.megawimp.com/mp3/Slaughter_one.mp3

fat ass batch.

balls.

snarky said...

really sharkey? will it be "epic"?

bikesgonewild said...

...everyone laughed & made fun of the girl w/ nipples on her back...

...not me...i took her slow dancing...

LowBalls said...

What's up with the extra set of legs in the CX/Moots/rainbow tat picture? Are those actually knuckle tats on the ugliest hands ever? Or is that another guy back there 'helping out'?

frilly said...

Yes Leroy! I usually do the mini chocolate chips, sliced strawberries, and whipped cream. Whipped cream only if I've been good.

I LOVE Fro-Yo!

Seanywonton said...

Yes! My first ever 100% on the test AND the bonus Question! Woo Hoo!

Reed Enwright said...

SK8R RAGE

Fred said...

I prefer my 1987 Sportif khaki touring shorts because lycra shorts don't have enough pockets for my various multi-tools. I have noticed, however, that they tend to attract unwanted gargantuan Australian TV "personalities." I keep a small taser in the left cargo pocket for that purpose.

I guess my beard gives me that rugged outback look they can't resist.

Reed Enwright said...

PHAT AUZI

CommieCanuck said...

I LOVE Fro-Yo!

He was awesome in Lord of the Rings.

Reed Enwright said...

I think she's a wheel sucker.

frilly said...

I don't have speakers on my work computer, wtf is she saying as she's throwing the magazines in the trash can?

Can't help but wonder if this is why Andy Pandy has gone incommunicado?

more than one said...

salesmen (plural)

hillbilly said...

didn't really miss anything frilly, really it's just a PSA for cyclists to take off our "tip-tap shoes" when we go in a cafe...i think she is concerned we might slip or something.

bikesgonewild said...

...as regards that aussie tv show...the only thing appropriate in that video is the fact that that corpulent boorish moron & her equally corpulent boorish moronic friend have a garbage can as the centerpiece of their set...

...we can joke about it all day long but that ending was way over the top & i hope there are serious fucking network repercussions...

...haul those two slag bitches off the air for not just blatant stupidity but inciting deadly behavior after up front, on air apologies...

Seanywonton said...

Dang, I don't care what Jolene says about them girls, some of those pics gave me a chubby.

Check out this one, she's sporting a BSNYC sticker!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thefixfixfix/3691834880/in/set-72157621006834498/

bikesgonewild said...

...what's being said is:- one bitch is approximating a swerving steering motion & saying "just take 'em out !!!" & the other suggests "no, no, just open the door !!!"...

...it's fucking sad that that could ever pass as humor, especially when viewed on public tv...

ant1 said...

Seany - I think that actually is the snob.

Salty Seattle said...

Hillbilly 12:59-

Thanks for the tip!

I hope the Cooper bike comes in either a pink-glitter or sequin colourway. I'm sure riding it is cool and all, but it's time I started paying more attention to looking sweet.

Brad said...

ATTENTION ALL GYMNASTS:

apparently Magda doesn't like people who can balance....

or people who exercise

because they should be exercising the correct way. .....

In a gym?...wait.....conundrum


oh and watch out she'll eat you after she rips of your lycra

Seanywonton said...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thefixfixfix/3961033139/in/set-72157622345835941/

She'd better be careful with that unprotected bar end!
It's all fun and games until someone ends up with a scratch on their scranus.

Cognorant said...

Wow, that is one uptight, self-entitled, ignorant, craptastically over the top, Australian douchebag. Drive your car in my back yard? That doesn't make sense in even by her warped, stupid, view of self-centricity.

Frilly, if/when you listen it will only ruin your day.

Suzee said...

7/8 plus the bonus, missed the niptat. Cunning beyond lingus. Also a fine week's resume...Tar!

canaries deceased = methane overload

TALK SHIT

Anonymous said...

BGW.

Media. It thrives on contrast, conflict. With the penetration of cycling into it, it is nessesary to generate conflict. this will continue to happen, wether it is cars vs bikes, luftwaffe vs raf, or chef vs staff.

what comes after reality tv?
idol shit.
what next. piss everyone off and get them to generate content enirely themselves, and fight for free on tv.

Anonymous said...

I googled about that Aussie ranter -- apparently she's been forced to recant, and she's gonna do some bike rides as atonement. She didn't seem to realize that people actually are hurt riding bikes, sometimes deliberately! People like Robbie McEwan had some choice words for her; if you can get mild-mannered "turn the other cheek" Robbie worked up, it's gotta be bad.

Edward R. Pressman said...

"We don't have a business model that works anymore. It's up to you to make something work".

TV shows to be submitted in any format whenever. Tape will not be returned.

g-roc said...

No handlebar? You know what this means; at some point, the fixies will become hipster unicycles. Just like regular unicycles except with hipster cysts, more colorways and a more exclusive price point.

Anonymous said...

Im appling for a job..

http://www.pacificyogurtpartners.com/online_application.php

I have forgotten if I was convicted of marujiana use within 2 years. should i click yes or no?

im guessing yes.



YOG HART

Anonymous said...

Im appling for a job..

http://www.pacificyogurtpartners.com/online_application.php

I have forgotten if I was convicted of marujiana use within 2 years. should i click yes or no?

im guessing yes.



YOG HART

SP said...

PRFT SCR!

Anonymous said...

sports and tricks.

I like jez avery performing for spike milligan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fv0ukuKqUs

Shanty Town said...

We saw a yaht coming in on out bit of bridge. no one lands there. the guy flashed a knife around, but he moved on.

Man who saw a film about wine said...

is "recant" like decant? but after you've spent all that time letting it air right n all, whacking it back in the decanter, for later use. doesnt it just get more sour?

man who watched a film about wine, but thinks that perhaps it was more about life. said...

Maybe the wine that was decanted was shitty.

Johnny Smith said...

"As he was a bachelor, and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled their head about him anymore."

Anonymous said...

Thanks for an incredible week!

Anonymous said...

"I googled about that Aussie ranter -- apparently she's been forced to recant, and she's gonna do some bike rides as atonement. She didn't seem to realize that people actually are hurt riding bikes, sometimes deliberately! People like Robbie McEwan had some choice words for her; if you can get mild-mannered "turn the other cheek" Robbie worked up, it's gotta be bad."

Holy shit. it's OC.

Fierce Panties said...

It was good to revisit the
SS
IP
NE
GE
LD
E
shin ink on flickr.
I spotted it on the bicycle tats collection next to the exploding nipples back.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of fashion bikes, how about this "urban fixed gear" with Lightweight wheels from Rock and Republic: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/photos/rock-racks-up-a-new-notch-in-its-product-line/89362

Fierc Panities said...

FD
RE
OR
NA
TI
AL
NL
DE
RU
ER
AS
R

Fierce Panties said...

Fail.

Fierce Panties said...

The FIXFIXFIX girl needs to move to Portland just to get a little sun.

Does the sun shine in Portland?

She kind of looks like the kind of girl that creepy guys walk up to and say, "Smile! You'll look prettier!"

Fierce Panties said...

If dirtjumpers are austic chipmunks, what are fixters with no bars riding in circles in parking garages?

Fierce Panties said...

Bars up!
Swede on!
Baquette twined!

A
Y
H
S
M
B

Fierce Panties said...

Autistic chipmunks

The most agressive underpants on earth said...

My favourite sport is generating keywords.

Portland said...

The Sun does not discriminate.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/portland/763630-whats-wrong-portland-oregon.html

Staring into middle distance. said...

What Quiz? When?

Anonymous said...

BGW.

I love you. What passes as humour these days is shocking.

Cartoons started it all.

Uncle Bob said...

Have pity on Magda Szubanski. Still fat, still not funny, and reduced to fronting "The Spearman Experiment", a new low in low-rent, circling-the-drain, clip-show TV.

Repentant hermaphprodite sinner said...

There is only ONE thing I want to see all of next week.

Oversized bottom brackets.

Darlington push pull said...

Frilly

"I don't have speakers on my work computer, wtf is she saying as she's throwing the magazines in the trash can?"

Speakers is not enough. you need dolby to sort out your soundspace.

Big Trouble in Little China said...

Escape in post modernism.

Jean-François in a Lyotard said...

distrusts frinary oppositions

Research is free said...

really?

stream of nothing said...

100th! ball park.....thank you BSNY RTMS

mr.g said...

y'allz too tuf on cadel - he's heart and soul -

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2008/07/26/majdog_gallery__600x399.jpg

Anonymous said...

Hey Mr.Snob,

Just noticed your blog has switched syndication styles. I, for one, appreciated having the full post available to view in Google Reader without having to load a new tab for your page. A nit-picky style complaint I know but there you go. If you feel like it you can change it by going to Settings-->Site Feed-->Allow Blog Feeds-->Full. I'll keep reading regardless...kthx!

leroy said...

ant 101st!

An homage.

On second thought maybe more fromage than homage. Oh well.

Reed Enwright said...

BBRY WNRZ

Wandrin said...

Riding without handlebars is a unicycle.

belmont sledgehammer said...

These anti-cyclist rants by the ass-muffin media clowns play out the same way every time. She's gonna "come to her senses" and make some sappy-assed, heartfelt on-air apology, find religion, go on a dopey-ass and heavily promoted ride accompanied by some local promoter of bike love and all will be forgiven.

We had it play out in totally predictable fashion out here in sunny portland last year with some rush limbaugh-esque blow-hard who was spouting the exact same crap.

I hope she gets run over by a steamroller.

Joey said...

That "designer bike" looks like a rip off of the Raleigh Roadster...same fenders and seat. No sterling silver bell though. The Raleigh's is neatly integrated into the brake lever.

Anyway, what's next? The Calvin Klein underwear bike? I'm sure Portland would love that.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 5:25pm...

...re:- media...i'm certaimly aware of "media's" propensity for sensationalism but here, while the two female "hosts" started out simply mocking cycling culture in a somewhat humorous yet inflammatory manner, they played off each other & it quickly escalated to a point where a blind & ignorant eye was cast towards the fact that people die in bicycle vs motor vehicle confrontations on pretty much a daily basis whether it's purely accidental or the result of some misguided attempt to scare or intimidate cyclists, that goes wrong...

...poor judgment is no excuse when human lives are at stake & particularly when the format is a "humorous" television show...therein lies the crux because it only takes one misguided fool to watch a show like that, misunderstand the intent & become incited in a dangerous manner...it happens & it has been chronicled...

...quite frankly, my own humor can be dark & "questionable" (much more so that on these august pages) but i try to use reasonable judgment as to where & when i utilize that kind of content...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...& anon 7:25pm...

...sure, you say you love me now will you respect me in the morning...

...& who buys breakfast ???...

...just wonderin'...

Brian said...

Hello, this is Brian from BikeReviews.com,
we wanted to reach out and say hello, and let you know we love the site. If possible, we would love to do a link exchange with you, showing our readers another great source for information. In the process, we hope to establish a friendship between us, so we can work together in the future. Have a great weekend.

Thanks,
Brian
http://bikereviews.com

Anonymous said...

bgw

interesting take on the aussie vid.

if i think down that line then i start to wonder if the extra exposure videos like it get on sites like this helps.

thinking that much makes my brain hurt.

it looked to me like they had five minutes to fill and no one wanted to be there.

my suggestion for people in that situation. go home, or talk about how shit the show is, then go home.

anon 5:30 said...

"Holy shit, it's OC."

Anon 6:36 -- I may be as boring as OC, and I proudly sport a beard and a helmet mirror, but I'm not batshit crazy.

Preemptive Strike said...

This is BS. There is no way that show was aired live. Everyone involved from cameraman to editor to gaffer should stand up and apologize, not push that fat bitch out front.

Parental Advisory said...

yeah, is should have been dealt with by the netwok and the contractors, like the record companies do when a rapper mentions a gun.

streepo said...

Is that Shana chick in the one set of photos Pat Benetar's daughter?

Anonymous said...

This is put on by the wtf
(wisconsin tourist federation)

http://www.gandhidancer.com/

Is the bike shrink going to be there?
This makes Portland look like a bunch of slackers.

How many things can you use to justify a ride in the country?

Bad Lawyer said...

BSNYC

Have you covered the hydration fetish? Seriously, both Saturday adn Sunday I'm cycling through my local metropolitan park and I see runners, walkers, and cyclists loaded down like water carriers in the days of old. I spend, mmmmm an hour and a half daily riding, and I carry an empty water bottle just in case I feel like I need to stop somewhere and get water--I see walkers, runners, cyclists with enough water to turn desert lands into oases. Some of these folks look so encumbered I wonder about their comfort. What is this hydration phenomena? And I apologize if this was the subject of a post in the past which I've not caught up yet in reading through the archives.

bikesgonewild said...

...bad lawyer...might i suggest a compromise somewhere between the two camps...s'like what they say about food on the bike, "by the time ya feel ya need it, it's too late"...

...but that's neither here nor there 'cuz what's up is tyler fucking farrar !!!...

...two stages & the overall by 8 seconds over the cocaine cowboy @ the four day 'circuit franco-belge'...that's boonen territory...

...major props, young man...

Anonymous said...

someplace I read that the hydration craze is completely out of hand, and that you just need to have a drink once in awhile. Unfortunately I can't remember the name of the article.

For example, drinking continually from your stainless container while sitting through a 1.5 hr lecture is maybe not really necessary.

bikelanes said...

here is my 2 cents on the whole Magda Szubanski thing, from an Australian bike blogger perspective.

http://bikelanes.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/bike-blitz-and-hissy-fits/

Klaus Mohn said...

Portrait of the Artist as New York Times Style Section Trendsetter: All You Hipsters Curate My Blog

Anonymous said...

curate is the new blue

Klaus Mohn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Klaus Mohn said...

While I'm at it: you've been caught-and-released like a hideous prize fish by Continental European bike culture, NYC.

Anonymous said...

I may be late to the party with this "bespoke" bike by Richard James:
http://www.richardjames.co.uk/

Can't find out whether one can get one of these "off the rack."

mark said...

It's not NY but I thought you could do something good with these:

http://www.theage.com.au/national/dump-the-car-get-onya-bike-20091013-gugz.html

http://www.theage.com.au/national/motorist-drunk-high-when-he-hit-cyclist--court-20091013-guzp.html

Anonymous said...

You need think about it. Despite the emails, the overwhelming evidence showing global warming is happening hasn't changed.
"The e-mails do nothing to undermine the very strong scientific consensus . . . that tells us the Earth is warming, that warming is largely a result of human activity," Jane Lubchenco, who heads the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, told a House committee. She said that the e-mails don't cover data from NOAA and NASA, whose independent climate records show dramatic warming.

Anonymous said...

Как вы относитесь к непопулярным статьям в блогах

Anonymous said...

Nice post! GA is also my biggest earning. However, it’s not a much.

Anonymous said...

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