Monday, September 28, 2009

Power Struggle: Sucking, and Sucking it Up

While bicycles and motor vehicles can often run afoul of each other with disastrous consequences, the issue of bicycles and pedestrians can be no less contentious. This is especially true in big cities like New York, where cyclists and pedestrians often follow their own interpretations of street signs and laws. In fact, this past weekend, the New York Times published an op-ed piece by Robert Sullivan about the problem of cyclist-pedestrian intermingling on the Brooklyn Bridge:


As you may be aware, there is a genteel, non-competitive cycling conspiracy (GNCCC) afoot (or awheel) in New York City, and to a certain extent Robert Sullivan is its literary voice, giving it ready access to media outlets such as the Times. Furthermore, David Byrne is the conspiracy's celebrity spokesperson because his rock star status appeals to the youth (in the context of the GNCCC, the "youth" means people 55 and under), and the Dutch city bike is its de facto symbol and totem. While ostensibly the GNCCC is pro-cycling and works in our favor, there runs beneath it a sinister undercurrent of elitism, strange helmets, and pro-Dutch propaganda.

Robert Sullivan is also the father of "schluffing" (or "dorklocross") which is a means of propelling your bicycle demurely on the sidewalk:

In any case, it's true that the Brooklyn Bridge is full of tourists who often step into the bike lane and in front of cyclists, which can lead to tragic Giuseppe Guerini scenarios. This is extremely frustrating for everybody involved. As such, I read Sullivan's op-ed with interest. Fortunately, he did not advocate "schluffing" across the bridge, though he did take the opportunity to admonish faster cyclists:

On the other side of the line are two kinds of bicyclists, most pedaling peacefully, a few confusing bike commuting with driving rocket cars on the Bonneville Salt Flats.

While we've all encountered the overzealous commuter, this sort of finger-wagging (which is not to be confused with fingerbanging) is also typical of members of the GNCCC, to whom a reckless cyclist is anybody who rides faster than 10mph, or whose bars are not higher than his saddle, or who has the temerity to cycle without essential safety gear such as flat pedals, a tweed blazer, or a baguette. Also, I'm not sure why Sullivan finds himself beset by rocket cars, unless he keeps encountering faired recumbents.

Despite this, I found myself agreeing with the essential point of Sullivan's piece:

Thus, I present the following condition. Yes, ban bicycles on the Brooklyn Bridge walkway, but allow them on the roadways, where they are now not permitted, by creating physically protected bike lanes.

This makes good sense to me. The Brooklyn Bridge is a major tourist attraction, and as such it must be readily accessible to tourists. Furthermore, an essential component of being a tourist is wandering about oblivious and agog, like a teenager in a strip club. This sort of behavior is just not conducive to sharing space with cyclists, who for the most part are simply concerned with getting someplace. So by all means, give the pretty part of the bridge with the view to the tourists, and give a portion of the roadway to cyclists, so that each can use the bridge for their preferred purpose unmolested.

Unfortunately, shortly after this, like an overeager fingerbanger who attempts to employ an additional digit Sullivan goes too far:

If we bicyclists cede the Brooklyn Bridge walkway, then it might be a step toward winning the public’s respect. Then, just maybe, pedestrians would call a truce and recognize that their real enemy is the car, that bikers are like pedestrians in that they are just trying to get to work without the use of a gurney.

Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle. If anything, the bicycle has more in common with the car than it does with the pedestrian, since the bicycle is a vehicle too. Really, the problem is that too many people don't consider bicycles vehicles (which is why they tell us to "Get on the sidewalk!"), coupled with the fact that too many cyclists don't ride like they're operating vehicles in the first place. Also, try telling a pedestrian who's been hit by a cyclist that his real enemy is the car. If we start equating cycling with pedestrianism instead of vehicle use then before you know it we'll all be "schluffing." Anyway, everybody knows the enemy of the cyclist and the pedestrian is not the car; it's the Rollerblader:

When it comes to sharing our roadways, the most important thing is to retain our humanity by respecting our fellow humans. And you are a human, whether you're using a vehicle or you're on foot. However, I believe that the Rollerblader is exempt from this, since the very act of Rollerblading is a denial of humanity. Rollerblades are not vehicles; they are attempts to actually transform the body into something else. This is acceptable and necessary when you must venture into other environments that are inhospitable to human life. If you need to go underwater, you use flippers and a scuba tank. If you need to go into space, you wear a spacesuit. However, simply moving about outside does not require putting on shoes with wheels. When you do this, you're not a vehicle user, nor are you a pedestrian. Instead, you simply combine the most irritating elements of both and become a menace. Consider the act of Rollerblading:

The green arrows represent the Rollerblader's wingspan, which is considerable and far exceeds the width of even New York City's ample new bike lanes. Furthermore, the blue arrows represent the sweeping arc of the foot, and if you somehow manage to avoid being slapped in the face you still have to contend with a wayward skate. Meanwhile, while the black line represents the ostensible direction of the skater, the red arrows depict the skater's actual motion as he propels himself forward. Of course, "Rollerblade" is actually a brand, and what many of us call "Rollerblading" is actually inline skating. (Just like cycling is not "Schwinning.") However, while the wheels on the skates may be in line, there's little that's linear about the actual skater, who extends along all axes like a windmilling kindergardener or the frills of a Giant Koosh Ball of Death. In short, modifying the human body in this manner is only acceptable when it's essential for human survival. Otherwise, it's simply a selfish waste of public space.

Still, for the most part I did find myself agreeing with much of what Sullivan had to say in his op-ed, and I found that surprising--almost as surprising as Cadel Evans's World Championship win:

Despite my surprise, as a cycling fan I was very pleased to see Cadel finally go from whining to winning. Moreover, he didn't just win--he won in a decisive and impressive fashion. I only hope he manages to avoid the dreaded "curse of the rainbow jersey," and that those stripes don't complicate his life in the same way the Ring complicated things for his cousin Frodo.

Meanwhile, Interbike is finally over, and it turns out that the reason I didn't find any of the stuff I saw online exciting is that I don't have a proper appreciation for power meters:

While a power meter is certainly an important tool for a professional cyclist, the bulk of them are of course sold to amateurs who misinterpret their amateur status and poor results as signs that they need to spend a huge amount of money on a power meter when in fact their amateur status and poor results are actually the very reasons they don't need a power meter. If you're an amateur, buying a power meter to train is like hiring an accountant to tell you how broke you are or like buying an iPhone just to check your Cannondale stock. Yet amateurs not only buy power meters, but they think $1,000 for a power meter is actually cheap. Clearly then, I will make a fortune when I introduce my own power meter at next year's Interbike, since it will be the cheapest and most accurate one ever. Yes, for $5 you'll get an LCD display which constantly flashes the message, "You suck."

If that's not enough data for you and you crave downloadable information, simply plug your own license number into the USA Cycling website and analyze away.

152 comments:

ant1 said...

ant1st!

landis in 06 said...

cadel speed

speedwobble said...

nice one ants! cadel!

Anonymous said...

pay up sucker

landis in 06 said...

back from interbike, i passed myself...landis that is

Anonymous said...

top ten

ant1 said...

(in the context of the GNCCCC, the "youth" means people 55 and under)

one too many c's?

rezado said...

DOUCHE NOZZLES

Bad Lawyer said...

Is Cadel a goofy looking dude? A throw back to the Eddy M era.

Anonymous said...

batop 10?

bikesgonewild said...

..."i coulda been a contenda"...marlon brando - 'on the waterfront'...

Anonymous said...

Best thing about Cadel Evans' victory is no whining...

Or at least, LESS whining.

mikeweb said...

"Get your hands off my rainbow jersey!"

hillbilly said...

ant1!!!!

nice post as always, once again I will stop writing my blog piece about robert the schluffer as you expressed everything I was trying to say, only much much better.

libertyonbikes! said...

wait for it
it's gotta be in there
.....


"for $5 you'll get an LCD display which constantly flashes the message, "You suck."

saved it til the end.

BadBeard said...

Ant1st1st!

Anonymous said...

FRUT BOOT

Reed Enwright said...

Totally not trying to be a dick, just trying to make the comments easier to follow; to make a hyperlink simply use the code in the box under An HTML Link

Carry on.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

Well done, Snob. You nailed the power meter bit.

CUZN FRDO

Anonymous said...

Is Cadel claymation , or something?

libertyonbikes! said...

so rollerbladers STILL exist?

I knew the 'xtreme rollerblading'
was handled quickly and quietly by skateboarders. I belive bladers were labeled 'fruitbooters' and pulled into alleyways and offered
A. a skateboard
B. glow in the dark rave clothes
C. a pair of Birkenstocks
D. or a wheelchair
their choice....

can't the triathletes or cross country skiers come claim the rest of these guys?

Anonymous said...

"You suck!"

Awesomeness....

db said...

Cadel has a huge head. There, I said it. He must have the strongest neck in the Foo-Fighters Fan Club.

Anonymous said...

Cadel Evans: the missing (and probably superfluous) link between Alfred E Neumann and Mr Bean.

Jen said...

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."

Instant adage -- and with a semicolon, no less. Sir, you surpass yourself.

(On-fire Ants!)

youaretheengine said...

Recumbents and rocket cars have more in common than one might think.

http://www.calgaryherald.com/travel/Canadian+cyclist+breaks+world+speed+record/2016627/story.html

wishiwasmerckx said...

Now that Cadel has won something worth mention as a roadie, will those catapillers he calls eyebrows morph into butterflies?

Anonymous said...

I want a Harden the Fuck Up LED blinky for next year's cat 5 training program.

Anonymous said...

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."

can you put this on a shirt pls?

rezado said...


Oh shit

Anonymous said...

CAT5 4Lif

chiggins said...

Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle.

Fine. But I'm starting with the cars. The bikes and peds are slower and don't do as much damage, I can get them later.

However, simply moving about outside does not require putting on shoes with wheels.

The slope from SPD's to inline skates is slippier than you think. Take care.

Reed Enwright said...

Yes, even worse than self absorbed runners/joggers (whatever the current term is) rollerbladers are the biggest menace.

The least egregious pedestrians in my opinion are the drunken hoboes with shopping carts. Very slow and predictable.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

All the rest I can abide, but not a kindergardener.

Dan said...

As a cyclist I hate to see any bike lanes relinquished, but the Brooklyn Bridge might just be the exception. There's simply no way for anyone (cyclists and pedestrians alike) to fully enjoy it as it's set up right now.

Gone Epic said...

A $5 "You suck" power meter is certainly cheaper than a custom knuckle tattoo that reads:

YOUZ SUCK

I can't wait to buy mine. I only hope it works exactly as advertised.

rezado said...

Nope. How about this

new orleans bankruptcy attorney said...

Commutercross, the sport than involves commuting and the treacherous terrain of pedestrian filled streets.

Cognorant said...

NOt to be all Mr. story topper but...Two words...Roller Skier. Take all the swaying and flailing about of a rollerblader and add 3' to the length of the skates and add a 5' long sharp pointy stick in each hand. It's like trying to dodge a giant salad shooter blade as it whirls erratically down a road. Seriously...just one alone can fill up a 12' wide lane, nearly impossible to pass without loud shouting and slowing and swerving and ducking.

They're prevalent all Summer here in Mpls.

grog said...

I am agog.
Where do I get your $5 LCD display which constantly flashes the message, "You suck."

GROG AGOG

Jessica said...

Why did you change your RSS feed so I cannot view the entire post in my feed reader? I really hate when people do that.

mikeweb said...

cognorant, I was going to mention them also. Maybe the rule should be that you're not allowed to take up valuable bike path/ road space doing something that was originally designed to happen on a snowy or icy surface.

Maybe I should drag out my old studded Mt. bike tires and head over to the ice rink just to make a point...

Anonymous said...

Mr. Snob-
I quit my membership to our local cycling advocacy group (SFBC) when they stated their belief that rollerbladers should have access to bike lanes.
You did a great job of illustrating their unpredictable nature, but neglected to mention the ubiquitous iPod, which renders them even more oblivious to their surroundings.

Anonymous said...

"one less idiot"

hillbilly said...

Mikeweb - you might want to do that this winter for the new Allen St bike lane, since they seem to have forgotten any sort of drainage system

mikeweb said...

Oh, and congrats ant1!!

About Cadel: after sucking wheels for every last second of almost 7 hours until the last 4 minutes while everybody else and their mother was on the attack: smart racing, or total dick move?

If he didn't win after that, I'm sure he would've still found someone else to blame.

I feel bad for Spartacus. what a fighter...

Dominic said...

"one less idiot." Holy shit I need that sticker with four inline wheels illustrating it.

frilly said...

3 things I saw yesterday that troubled me:

1. Mogo
2. Motorized RZR type scooter being ridden/driven(?) on the street. As if the cars were not enough, right?
3. This contraption, not sure if anybody else has seen one, that is like a double decked RZR scooter with a bicycle flat-bar for steering (ha!). Apparently the rider pushes off then sways from side to side to gain momentum. And much like Cognorant's roller skiers, these friggin' things take up a lot of space. Don't know if they have brakes or not, too afraid to ask.

Anonymous said...

In short, modifying the human body in this manner is only acceptable when it's essential for human survival.

What about modifying your bicycle when it is essential for picking up girls?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhF-xlOX9E

hillbilly said...

I hate those things Frilly! As far as I can tell their sole purpose is to take up as much space as humanly possible, and the only few that I have seen have all been salmoning...hmm, maybe they are creatures of the sea?

Anonymous said...

I love the photo of the inline skater. look how much room the cyclists had to yield just to pass him. talk about a wide berth.

mikeweb said...

hillbilly, I haven't had the pleasure of using that one yet.

Did anyone do the NYCC Escape from NY ride on Saturday? If so, I was the guy stranded with the broken stem bolt at mile 80. The sag wagon gave me a lift to Piermont cycles who got me fixed up nicely and on my way.

BTW, anyone who still has a Deda quill fork, do yourself a favor and replace it. I'm just glad it gave out when I was going 16mph up an incline instead of 40mph down one of the quick descents on that ride.

Isolation Helmet said...

I disagree with your black line in the diagram. In-line skaters bob and weave like boxers. You need to add some wobble to indicate that while in general they are headed forward they will always weave toward you as you try to pass.

bikesgonewild said...

..."Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."...

...could we just savor that for a minute, please...& ya, ya, props n' shit to bsnyc/rtms for penning it here but let's just take it for the truth it reveals...

...in fact, due to the popularity of this blogsite, that should be added as a second title line just to constantly remind "we" readers of it's basic message:...

...BIKE SNOB NYC...
..."Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."
...

...we can be our own worst enemy on a regular basis...i'm not making any apologies for all the moron drivers & pedestrians out there who don't understand how life threateningly dangerous our situation can be but we as cyclists have our own house to get in order...

...& the snob did pen a good reminder...

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that I will have to steal your line about the confusion of amateur cyclists regarding power meters. Very funny, very true.

mikeweb said...

yeah frilly, I've seen those things too. Like a hybrid between a stairmaster and someone on inline skates.

They need to gather all those things up and use them to make a nice manmade reef somewhere off the coast.

Cognorant said...

And....what's fat, lying down, has 3 wheels and goes 20mph up hill?....You got it, a big, fat, dumbass on a 3 wheel recumbent with an engine bolted to the back of it. Saw it this weekend...scared the crap out of me. Non threatening but scary.

cm said...

How would tourists know that a pained white line means "bicycles traveling at 15 miles per hour on this side"? It's the stupidest bike lane ever. It puts tourists in danger.

How about painting a thick white line on the lower deck next to the cars and have the peds all walk there?

I'll take a bike lane on the lower bridge any time. I'm peddling on the bridge to get to work not for sight seeing.

Anonymous said...

BTW, anyone who still has ANY quill fork, do yourself a favor and replace it with something post-2000ish.

(with apologies)

Anonymous said...

Oh Eben,

What would you have said if it were a LiveStrong power meter?

D. Mark said...

Hey Bike Snob, I would like to be considered for your beta testing program for your power meter. Surely, you plan to do some testing before you go into full production on the units and sell them to the public.

Astroluc said...

PREACH THE TRUTH Snobby, about inline skaters!!

Anon 2:20 made the point I was going to make about their ever present headphones and mp3 players.

when ever I have the (dis)pleasure of riding on my local Multi-use paths and have to pass an inline skater I often have to go off-roading in order to give them enough clearance... to add to the terror and menace, they are often not traveling in a straight line, as you black line would indicate; but rather a subtle but definite undulating S pattern.

Some Fool on the Internet said...

Has anybody ever put a Power Meter on a Dick Power bike? That would be so awesome!

Brien said...

Good Afternoon Bike Snob,

Usually you make short work of your targets, but not so with David Byrne. He's been mentioned a lot in your posts, but all that comes of it is a grey area of non-plussitude verging on dislike. What gives? Why the hate?

Wait. What? said...

Now non-plussitude = hate?

Seanywonton said...

Do you think that power meter could fit through a Prince Albert piercing? That might be interesting.

And Frilly, I think those Razor-plow thingies have a "brake" which is just a piece of metal on a hinge that you press down on the back wheel. Or maybe I am just making this up? Maybe that's just the Razor that has this. Anyway it doesn't really matter because it's probably hard to get that thing past 7 mph unless you're going down a 6% grade, in which case you will probably die anyway.

mikeweb said...

This appears to be the animal...

Anonymous said...

As they say - Whats the hardest thing about inline skating? Telling your parents your gay. Don't forget about the pack of five in a paceline of death on the bike path scenarios.

Sharkey said...

Exercise your right to ride as a vehicle this Friday at First Friday First Amendment Ride. Critical Mass Style, 7pm UnSqN. No cops.

Anonymous said...

"Really, the problem is that too many people don't consider bicycles vehicles (which is why they tell us to "Get on the sidewalk!"), coupled with the fact that too many cyclists don't ride like they're operating vehicles in the first place. "

A few weeks ago I was riding in traffic to a stop sign and was promptly and repeatedly reminded that" You are not a vehicle... You are not a vehicle..." in a small computer-y voice by a person wearing a very large helmet while riding a Vespa knockoff. I guess there is no way to win.

Anonymous said...

cadel baggins!!! love it, the photoshop was very tidy too

Cognorant said...

Anon 3:33,

From your description I'd have to guess that was "The Great Gazoo". Which is crazy because I haven't seen that guy since the Flintsones in the 70's. I wonder why he's out harassing cyclists?

yogisurf said...

True words: Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. I find 99.8% of all 'cars' to be respectful of my bike space. It's the idiots that don't that you gotta watch out for. It's why I use a mirror when commuting, to do that last second adjustment to the right (red arrow).

I sometimes take a safety short-cut through a church's grounds. One day, a security guard yelled at me to dis-mount. I dorklocrossed and he was appeased. Worked for that.

And many of us call bicycling "Treking".

bikesgonewild said...

...re: that razor derivative thingy...

...they had a big push out here on late nite tv a number of years ago but i'll bet the greater majority that were sold languish in garages after about the 3rd initial use (thank god)...

..."isn't this fun ???...ok, not so much, anymore"...

...colorful bikepath banter..."dude, DUDE !!!...stop taking up the whole path, people are tryin' ta ride through...& take those fucking ear buds out so you can hear people coming up behind you !!!"...

...pretty much applies to in-line skaters too...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Jessica,

For reasons beyond my meager technical understanding last week the RSS feed actually wasn't working at all. I finally managed to get it working again, but that involved changing it so it no longer shows the whole post. Once I've got everything straightened out maybe I can change it back. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Brien,

David Byrne speaks directly to my grey area.

--BSNYC

frilly said...

500 bucks--really? Somebody needs to tell 'Caryl' for $500 she could get a bike that with a little effort will go up hills.

At least they have brakes.

Oh, and I almost forgot, nicely done Antoine.

Daddo said...

At 9k miles a year, I think I can consider myself a cyclist. Yet i was totally clueless a tourist-pedestrian when I took my family over the B'klyn Bridge. I don't think that ped/bike set-up is particularly intuitive or user friendly. So I was in fact, quite idiot-like and I got yelled at by a hipster - I hate when that happens.

love this:
Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle.

Anonymous said...

Snobby, Excellent use of the photostrator, the colorcoded directional lines helped me realize just how much I hate fruit-booters.

CommieCanuck said...

You need to modify your power meter Snob, so that it says "you suck" every 5 seconds, downloads, and overlays all that suckage on Google Maps, showing you not only that you suck, but exactly where on earth you suck.

The only bug is that if you suck near Dick Cheney's house, it will get blurred out.

Saying that yet another power meter was the most exciting thing at Interbike this year just indicates how much Interbike sucked.

aviewfromtheback said...

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."

The problem is there's no cure for the idiot. GNCCC or not, that's why Sullivan's suggestion makes a lot of sense. That or get rid of all bike lanes, and go back to a time when the cyclist's enemy really was the car.

CommieCanuck said...

suck

Anonymous said...

I'm still waiting for Cadel's excuse for winning

CommieCanuck said...

...his team wasn't around to "help".

...or, his new high tech Zipp chin dimple spoiler.Good for 3.8 watts.

broomie said...

Awesome finish!

I imagine a powermeter for most people is like a bad marriage. Too expensive to quit, but you're constantly being reminded of your shortcomings.

mikeweb said...

Cadel's "excuse" for winning is that he stayed back in other's slipstreams and watched all the attacks get reeled in without doing any of the reeling in work and then attacked on a hill with about 3 miles to go. Effective race strategy. Douchey, but effective.

I'm sure Spartacus, Vino, Basso, Sanchez, etc. hate his whining douchey ass even more now than they did before.

Oh yeah, when Vino attacked near the end I could almost hear Pat McQuaid wailing "Oh dear god, No!!" from my living room 3K miles away...

Surly Bastard said...

RTMS: I'm thinking of changing my identity to "Oblivious and Agog," because I think it fits me to a T. Do you have that copyrighted, and how much will it cost me? And can I get a twofer deal on the identity if it's rolled in with one of your $5 power meters? Something that literally reinforces that "You Suck" that's always playing in my head when I ride would be, well, priceless. If by priceless you mean five bucks.

Anonymous said...

My there's a lot of kilomiles today. Metric-envy, anyone?

Mongo Pusher said...

Maxime Monfort !

cheeken said...

So, I wonder who the idiot is in this G20 protest video, the girl or the riot cops. Perhaps she's just expressing her displeasure at the colourway of the riot gear uniforms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13iUAQBQbpw

bikramyoganj said...

Roller bladers make me nuts on the road too. I missed you at Bike for the Basie. Come next year bike snob.. alice

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's a bike lane, but, it doesn't work -- anyone who's used the Brooklyn Bridge more than once and not simply switched to the dedicated bike lane on the Manhattan Bridge deserves the telephoto tourist lens that will soon wind up lodged in their face. And, if you absolutely insist on the Brooklyn Bridge, the roadway is doable -- we took it all the time before it was paved (the screaming-loud slippery-metal-grating years) "back in the day." And yes, I think I'm really super-duper cool for doing that.

Anonymous said...

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."
I tend to like like dark grey T-shirts with yellow type...can this be arranged?
Brooklyn Bridge: Like the suggestion for cycling lanes on the roadway because it's NEVER going to work with the Pedestrians...NEVER!
Power Meters: Disagree. I'd venture to say that they are MORE useful to a serious novice than everyone short of Pro Tour....IF you don't pay much attention to them and only look at the data over long periods of time and when you do tests. People seem to like to put them down because of the cost. The people that are buying them now are subsidizing the people that will buy them later. And you WILL buy it when it gets cheap enough.
This was, as always, a great post.
Thanks Snob.

bikesgonewild said...

...careful, mikeweb...

...cadel might follow bikensnob nyc & remarks like that may prompt him to hire "erik the photographer", he of the infamous "tragic Giuseppe Guerini scenario" to pose as a tourist on that oh so famous & controversial brooklyn bridge...

...deftly quick on his feet, 'erik' may literally be stepping into your life some early morning during the commute, w/ a whispered "cadel sez hi, mate", before yer coffee has fully kicked in & there you are, kicked to the curb ...

...just sayin'...

red neckerson said...

lots of these jokes was way over my head and I gots ricky and jolene to explain them to me and i gots to tell you this is some serious funny shit going down here

i dont gots to tell you which is exakly why im telling you but anyone who showed up anywhere nears vipor on rollerblades wood get his balls cut off

ricky said...

fuck you yankee assholes.

guess I aint got this quiet figured out.

ARB SLP said...

What's even worse than rollerblades are those damned Freeline skates; those things absolutely cannot be made to go in a straight line. I've had to come to a complete stop to avoid someone on those coming toward me because his side-to-side wobbling was so unpredictable.

Anonymous said...

"for $5 you'll get an LCD display which constantly flashes the message, "You suck."

Sounds good to me. Where do I send my $5?

Kapitan said...

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle". The Snob cuts right to the core. It takes genius to put something so simply. It's one of those phenomenons that one feels keenly, yet it takes someone else to quantify properly. I felt a huge amount of trafficionary frustration evaporate right there, my perception of fellow commuters - drivers, riders, pedestrians - is much simplified.

Reglan Side Effects Lawsuit said...

If only there were legitimately separated areas for cars, bicycles and pedestrians. So many problems would disappear as long as rollerbladers stayed off the streets.

heath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
heath said...

when you look this good, it's okay to run into a pedestrian every now and then.

KVIK said...

I was surprised to see Cadel win the worlds. I had expected Sanchez to come from behind. The dirty bugger.

Miles Archer said...

Rollerbladers may be bad, but dogwalkers are pure evil. Especially dog walkers with tiny little ratdogs and long, nearly invisible leashes.

yyz113 said...

Seems apt that the Great Gazoo was on a Vespa (knock-off or otherwise).

yyz113 said...

Heath,
She can raise my Pistadex anytime

bikesgonewild said...

...miles archer, (friend of sam spade ???)...

...to add to the "dog walker" scenario we have those stupid, ubiquitous expand-a-leashes, whatever they're called...

...you ride up, call out to pass w/ a targeted trajectory, all the while thinking everything is certainly safe 'cuz fido is on a leash but on hearing yer approaching bike ol' fido, being a dog & not particularly to blame, stretches the leash & runs right out into yer path...

...it's either "oh...sorry" & it's gonna happen to every cyclist going by or a look that sez it's your fault 'cuz yer alive & ride a bicycle...

...it's obvious the real problem is at the other end of the leash...

Mike said...

I don’t think anyone would buy your power meter.

Give it a long Italian name that no one can pronounce correctly and ensure it can be shortened to a snappy nickname ending in “ampy”

Slap any ol’ symbol on there. Just grab the spades symbol from a deck of cards; no one will know.

Paint it yellow so passersby can easily recognize and realize how much I spent.

Give me an ad that shows how many grams have been shaved off from last year. The 5 grams saved will be sorely needed as I plan to put on at least 2lbs over the winter. Plus, I can tell the guys in the office about my smart buy as we enjoy our morning donuts.

Sold!

Anonymous said...

skateboarders are the real enemy!!

mikeweb said...

BGW, thanks for the heads-up.

Yes - of course - I take the Brooklyn Bridge every day. Hear that Erik, the Brooklyn Bridge.

Yeah, that's the ticket...

Kent Johnson said...

Bike Snob I have become a great admirer of your work over the last few week (and disappointed I had not found this blog sooner).

I am very happy Cadel has finally had a win. Perhaps he will change the nature of the curse of the Rainbow Jersey (is it gay?), now your year can suck before you win. Who knows what the next twelve month will hold.

Thanks for a great blog.

erik k said...

I know a guy that used to be a professional roller balder. Now he works in an office writing action script 5 days a week.... YOU SUCK

whycantwealljustgetalong said...

maybe someone needs to invent a hater meter.

Anonymous said...

that triike site was foooked
they form clubs nationwide
they have group trikess'

Gino said...

Rollerbladers are a hazard to be sure.

But have you encountered any of these people on roller skis?

They exhibit the side to side consumption of space common to in line skaters while including the additional element of ski poles.

Try to dodge not only the skier but also the backward thrust of the four foot long poles (with sharpened ends) on 12 feet wide path.

Now there's a challenge.

Anonymous said...

I believe the proper nomenclature is "fruit booter"

Seattle Plastic Surgery on Lake Union said...

Agree with the fruit-boot space analysis thread...I have actually ran over the side-ways vectored skate of a fruit-booter, while he was booting' along...literally ran over his skate/ankle...on my cross bike...just another bump in the road...

leroy said...

I did the Twin Lights ride this weekend.

At 6 AM, on the way to the ferry at Wall Street, the Brooklyn Bridge was nice and quiet; only a couple of tourists obviously walking off jet lag.

On the way home, however, I followed a genteel cyclist cutting switchbacks in the bike lane at 6 mph. That kept the tourists out of the bike lane.

I expect tourists to step in front of me on the Bridge. That's fine. They're guests. It would be bad manners to yell or hit them.

Robert Sullivan's article reminded me of George Carlin's line about drivers: "Anyone going slower than me is a moron and anyone going faster is a maniac."

In the end, it doesn't really matter where you put the bike lane because one man's maniac is another's moron.

All you can do is smile and say thanks when you pass.

Anonymous said...

Hey BikeSnob....there's a house party themed alleycat happening in Philly in November. They made a video promoting it. Check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reO-ad4hhSI I think you'll like it

Natalia said...

I do not agree with your observation about Rollerblades - better called inline skates. I Iive in London and we co-habit with cyclists just fine. The rule is whatever is faster goes first - and nobody complains. As we are allowed to skate on the sidewalk if we need to pass lets say "A contingent of bike tourists" we can go on the sidewalk, pass them and continue to skate happily- Your observation about the stride is not that accurate either as it can be adjusted depending on the surface and space available.

bert said...

Talking of idiots,
http://www.sydneycyclist.com/forum/topics/good-news-week-magda-szubanski?id=1321712%3ATopic%3A112150&page=1#comments

Anonymous said...

To be fair some of what you say about inline skaters is true, they have a wide stance when travelling full pelt. This will no doubt be a problem if you're gunning it down a road behind one of them and trying to inch past. Generally however if you use a bell or make your self known you'll find that a skater can take up far less road width than a bike and will be happy to do so to let you past. As for the idea of skaters maybe not being vehicles, it's true, we're 50% grey. As such we can travel as fast as a bike, on pavements or on the street with justification for doing either. Are we pedestrians with strange footwear or road users with minimalist vehicles? which ever suits us / the police.

mikeweb said...

leroy,

Word.

Sean Carter said...

rollerblading, aka fruitbooting.

helmets said...

thanks for the tips

helmet said...

go u guys

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVz6NRTjl7I

www.youtube.com/nycfunrun

Anonymous said...

rollerblades=fruit boots

mikeweb said...

yup. we got it. thanks.

Lisa B said...

I am sorry you found the need to slam us Inline Skaters as we are your brethren in alternative transportation. More than any other group we see eye-to-eye with cyclists in fighting being run over, cursed at and clipped by cars. Any time there is a Pro-cycling rally, all the skaters go to give 100% support- we run these events on our forums and try to help. This hurts a lot considering we feel that bikers and "roller-bladers" are fighting the exact same battles against pushy cars who have no patience for us on the road. We always feel like we are your KIN so to be blasted by our brothers is pretty shitty. We, like you, are trying NOT to pollute, to get exercise, to find alternative transport, to wheel places instead of drive- in short, the same exact reasons you ride a bike, we skate. The hazards you face on a bike, we also face on skates. The hatred you face for spandex, we also face. Now we have to add that cyclists hate us too???? . When I skate (or bike) I stay all the way to the right- yes I need 6 feet wide but we also know the lingo (on your left, slowing and hand signals) I am polite and make sure to stay as far over as I can. Now a lot of cyclists are less than polite and you will also find some cyclists and skaters who are in a real daze and are menaces to all out there. But don't lump us all in that category. You don't like it when based on a few assholes people say "all cyclists run red lights" just because some idiot skater ruined your day.

You really need to cut us some slack as we are you 100%. we indentify totally with you- we are one and the same. Share the love, share the road.

CrispyB said...

In support of LisaB lets all remember that cars are the enemy - how many cyclists have been killed or injured by errant rollerbladers? Cars suck.

Jeffro Herriachi said...

dear snobby, would you consider a power meter price break for club teams? the advertising potential would be priceless..

Bruce said...

nice job LisaB

BoCoMike said...

Congrats to Peter Gallagher for his win in the Men's road race at the World Championship!

Anonymous said...

The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) had some nice footage of Mr Evans preparing his 'package' for the award ceremony. It's these little details that count !

Anonymous said...

Prescient. You accurately foretold of the inline skater menace!

http://www.stamfordadvocate.com/localnews/ci_13443933

Mark S said...

With respect to the inline skater, see the article in the NYT about a skater going nuts over a trike in the bike lane.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/09/29/us/AP-US-ODD-Skate-Rage.html?_r=1

Anonymous said...

Biker does not equal Cylist.
Rollerblader does not equal Inline Skater, especially speedskaters.

As someone who competes in both sports, truts me when I say there are inliners who take up no more space and have no swinging arm syndrome. Us speedskaters often train with pro cyclist and we have a great relationship. There are stupid people on both sides for sure. Just don't paint us with the same brush.

And lastly, the fruitbooter comments. How uncreative. Must piss you off when us "fruitbooters" are passing you at 35mph.

BikeStan said...

Jealousy rears its ugly head: 95% of the world can ride a bike. Only 20% can inline skate. BikeSnob are you just mad you have no balance? Looks fun, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Please where can I send a deposit for one of your power meters. A sticker would be great if you made it fancy and had Bike Snob on it.

Anonymous said...

Please where can I send a deposit for one of your power meters. A sticker would be great if you made it fancy and had Bike Snob on it.

Anonymous said...

Please where can I send a deposit for one of your power meters. A sticker would be great if you made it fancy and had Bike Snob on it.

crazytrader said...

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discounted cosmetics.

quran said...

The least egregious pedestrians in my opinion are the drunken hoboes with shopping carts. Very slow and predictable.

Goji Berry said...

All the rest I can abide, but not a kindergardener. Anyway thanks...........

Cheap Cosmetics said...

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