Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Grappling With Change: A Farewell to Summer and a Return to Arms

While I may have spent the last week in "Summer Recess," this so-called "recess" mostly involved work, as I set about gathering my metaphorical acorns for the coming autumn. However, even the most diligent squirrel takes time for recreation, and I'm pleased to report I did manage to engage in some leisure activity. With the summer days rapidly dwindling, I headed to a place where the nuts are not gathered metaphorically; rather, they are quite literally hoarded and stuffed into the crotches of mankinis. This place, of course, is the beach:

Still, even a visit to nature's wet, sandy futon can provide an opportunity to take care of some business. There are three things in this world of which you can never have enough: inner tubes; toilet paper; and, of course, socks. (Contrary to popular belief, you can have too much money and too much underwear.) Consequently, I took a moment to check in with the Sock Doc:

At this point, I know what you're thinking, and the answer to that question is: "Yes." They do have diabetic socks:

In any case, after a protracted and heated haggling session (though the Soc Doc is not a real doctor, this did not prevent him from giving me a prescription to go have coitus with myself after I suggested he include a free set of novelty sock garters with my purchase) I continued my seaside perambulations, and as luck would have it I walked right into the Kingsboro Arm Wresling Championships, sponsored by White Castle:

To say I was excited would be an understatement; in truth, my enthusiasm was over the top, for before me was a veritable "who's who" of local arm wrestling luminaries and their significant others:

Incidentally, I've become accustomed to being regarded with withering nonplussitude, so the seductive smile of the woman with the "celebutard" sunglasses and the giant soda was a pleasant surprise:

Still, I knew better than to engage her in conversation. However innocent my intentions, the thought that her professional arm-wrestling boyfriend might misinterpret them and react violently was enough to make me quake in my diabetic socks. Of course, it's possible that professional arm wrestlers spend so much time focusing on grappling with a single appendage that they've forgotten how to use the rest of their bodies and as such are defenseless in any situation that doesn't involve arm wrestling. It could be that he'd simply plant his elbow on the hood of a nearby Mitsubishi and demand that I come and "get some," and which point I could simply dispatch him with a good old-fashioned right hook. Then again, I couldn't dispatch a giant cup of soda with my right hook, let alone a grown man, so I wasn't about to test my theory. In any case, there wasn't much time for contemplation, since shortly thereafter the tournament began:

These were apparently the smaller, younger competitors who have not yet garnered acclaim, bodily mass, or tattoos. They also haven't garnered seductive girlfriends, so until they do they gain forearm strength in the way young men have for millennia. I was especially interested to note that not only was this particular arm wrestler wearing a shirt in the LiveStrong colourway, but he also looked not unlike a young Lance Armstrong:

It struck me then that, in a certain way, arm wrestling and professional cycling aren't all that different. While most people have arm-wrestled at some point in their lives, relatively few are aware of the world of professional arm wrestling. Moreover, to the uninitiated, it also looks a bit silly. The same is true of professional cycling. Granted, professional cycling is a bit more mainstream than professional arm wrestling, but had Lance Armstrong opted to become an arm wrestler instead of a cyclist things could have turned out a lot differently. (Certainly his surname would have given him a "leg up" in that particular arena, if you'll pardon the mixed limb metaphor.) Perhaps today the Tour of California would be the Tour of Brighton Beach and sponsored by White Castle, while Versus would be broadcasting the Professional Armwrestling Conference, complete with fawning Armstrong-centric commentary.

That said, it turns out arm wrestling doesn't languish in complete obscurity, for no less a personage than New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg made an appearance to congratulate and faux-wrestle with the winner:

It is an election year here in New York, and Bloomberg is wisely courting the "massive forearm" vote.

In all, it was an exciting moment, and I was torn between a desire to pull the sock from my right arm and challenge someone to an arm-wrestling match (I'm also producing a sock puppet theater piece based on the life of Raymond Poulidor--part of the reason the Sock Doc was so irritated with me is that I kept asking for something more "Gallic") and to press Bloomberg with questions about the new Sands Street bike lane, which is constantly menaced by drivers due to the age-old practice of car service double-parking:

Sadly, I didn't have time to do either, because I had a wedding to attend:

Of course, I wasn't invited, nor did I know the bride, or the groom, or any of the attendees, but this did not prevent me from crying disconsolately, shouting my heartfelt congratulations, or pelting them with Russian dumplings.

But the beauty of two people pledging their undying tolerance for each other was not the only source of my tears; I was also saddened by the knowledge that summer was nearly at an end. Indeed, the signs are all around us. For example, the bicycles are now donning their autumn scarves to protect them from chills:

("Freelocked"=free for the taking.)

Though it is possible I'm misinterpreting them and they're simply diabetic bandanas.

Another sign of autumn is when Rapha "drops" its new "Autumn/Winter range." And what autumnal range would be complete without something for cyclocross?



Yes, it's the "Rapha Cross Jersey," and it comes in a distinctive "colourway:"

Frankly, while I'm sure this is very nice, I'm not sure what makes it a cyclocross jersey. Firstly, most "serious" cyclocrossers wear skinsuits (or women's clothing if they're from the Land of Epic Burritos). Secondly, even "non-serious" cyclocrossers have no use for pockets since the races are so short. The only cyclocross-specific touch I see (besides the autumnal colourway) is the shoulder pad, though in conjunction with the "slimming appearance" that seems less cyclocross and more Huey Lewis:

But while the Cross Jersey isn't particularly crossy, I must admit that the "Gentleman's Cap" does indeed seem perfect for the "urban riding dandy:"

Perhaps next year Rapha can simply offer a cap designed for douchebags. They'd better hurry, too, since there's a helmet for douchebags already in the works. Not only that, but pending a commercially available douchebag hat young urbanites are already beginning to improvise:


This to me is an ominous sign that the tri-corner hat may be the latest thing in hipster headwear:

This is disturbing enough on its own, but in conjunction with the nascent folk instrument craze the implications are staggering. We may very well soon see streets full of young people wearing tri-corner hats, blowing on fifes, and beating snare drums. Williamsburg, Brooklyn will be transformed into Colonial Williamsburg. Worse yet, faux dive bars could begin serving Hamantashen along with PBR, and the last thing anybody should do is combine cheap beer and prune-based desserts.

Speaking of disturbing things that come in threes, a reader recently forwarded me this photo of a tri-nippled water bottle:

The only purpose I can see for this bottle is that it would allow you to drink simultaneously from it with two of your teammates, giving you all the appearance of a trio of whelps suckling at a bitch's teat. Either that, or it's some kind of "style exercise." If the latter, that's the kind of exercise that's sure to lead to increased forearm strength.

145 comments:

Anonymous said...

podium 1st

mikeweb said...

armed and dangerous?

Anonymous said...

first

Anonymous said...

Top five?

Anonymous said...

Top five?

Asterisk said...

snob back

rezado said...

WTYM

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

PS hey snobbie -- I noticed on FGG that a certain someone with more money than sense actually cancelled his subscription to bicycling when your column "dropped"? looks like he's still holding a grudge. maybe you should run another apology post.

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20347&start=15&sid=99db2d2cfbe6bc9544627cc1fe9bab76

Anonymous said...

Blah may blank

Anonymous said...

Top 10ish!!! Not bad after the layoff.

Anonymous said...

Evans!

sufferist said...

Welcome back...now to my reading...

ant1 said...

It's good to have you back snobby.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that water bottle is for Y Water.

hillbilly said...

mikeweb!!! way to be!

welcome back snob, I think i speak for all of us when I say we missed you, and if not, oh well.

I see some collabo-action btwn the tri-nipple water bottle and the y anally consumed water, no?

Seanywonton said...

Top 20?

The Parkinsons said...

I love it when you hit the streets, Snob. Welcome back.

blando said...

Back with a bang! My post-lunch routine is restored...

libertyonbikes! said...

no wonder why that felt like a long week,
welcome back to this own teet of a bitch.

captain said...

The snob is back! I'm so happy I nearly soiled my chamois.

bikesgonewild said...

...i have to read the post before i feel i qualified to make any comment whatsoever...

...whoops...

Anonymous said...

Welcome back
Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

From what I can tell, that tri-nipped bottle is meant to hold three different liquids separately while taking up but one cage. For the modern hipster, and in light of the Olympic public urination crackdown up here, it can be electrolytes, a nice Pabst, and a urinal all in one. Finally.

Anonymous said...

All you haters suck my tri-cornered hat!

Seanywonton said...

I think the triple-nipple water bottle is designed for variable hydraulic flow. Depending on how thirsty you are, you can fit 1,2, or 3 nipples in your mouth at once.

Either that or their are multiple chambers inside you you can load up on 3 drinks, like gatorade, margarita, and chocolate milk.

mikeweb said...

For some reason that water bottle makes me want to re-watch "Total Recall"...

Anonymous said...

The "single rear pocket, with an angled zip for easy access" is the dirtiest thing I've read all day.

db said...

Wow, welcome back.

Anonymous said...

YES!

i get to use one of my favorite quotations again with almost a semblance of relevance.

"Baby, you make me wish I had three hands!"

Anonymous said...

I love you. Welcome back. I think it's "disconsolately"?

innerlighter said...

Could a person order the Rapha jersey in a left-shoulder-padway? Or maybe they consider anyone who dismounts to the right to be the unwashed stupid masses.

Anyhow, good to have you back Snob. Hope you had a relaxing vacationway.

Paul Bowen said...

WELC MBAK

Gosh Snobbers but I really missed my daily treat. Inspired by you I've started carrying a camera when I ride. All i have so far are motorists in (cycle only-ha!) advanced stop lines at junctions and a rather nice example of THMRL (twin helmet-mounted rear lamps).

Anonymous said...

That's not a triple-nipple water bottle, it's a bicycle-based hookah pipe.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Continuing on with our public service tutorial on Jewish foodstuffs, "Hamentaschen" are fillo-dough pastries filled with the finest Beluga caviar, best served chilled with toast points and a dallop of sour cream. They are named after the 15th century Count Hamentash, who apparently afforded some kindness to the local Jewish community towards the end of the Dark Ages.

sufferist said...

All: I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who got me through last week. It was rough going. We fumbled clumsily to race, our comments were random, lacking context and meek, but we held together as a group and were there for each other.

Thanks to all who participated.

Strayhorn said...

"the Olympic public urination crackdown"

Uh, is this the newest doping scandal? Even Olympic urinators are being busted?

bikesgonewild said...

...i can hear the coasters singin' "under the boardwalk" in the background...

...how ironic is it that not only is a chicken-wing armed cyclist commenting on an arm wrestling contest but that the cyclist in particular is our chicken suited bsnyc/rtms ???...i'd suggest palpably ironic...

...hughie lewis ???...saw hughie in a local watering hole recently, sittin', drinkin', listenin' to muddy waters on the jukebox late one night...not so dapper, definitely more grizzled...
...but, hey...if a bar has muddy on the j-box, that ain't half bad...

ken e. said...

welcome back kotter!!

jolene said...

one burbin one skotch and one beer

Bill Strickland said...

You're fired

Anonymous said...

"pledging their undying tolerance for each other " ---

brilliantly funny!

Anonymous said...

rolling on my desk
metaphorical acorns
a squirrel gives thanks

Luke said...

Dear bikesnob,

I recently bought rapha winter tights because they are on sale and so priced like most other decent pairs of winter tights. Where does this purchase put me on a metaphorical scale of douchebaggery? This is very important to me :(

BISOUBISOU said...

poppy seeds!

Suzee said...

Tri cornered hatage
Tri teeted bidonage
Sturmey Archer Three Speed Hubways

autumnal diktats = fallway backstories

A farewell to arms?

Udder said...

That woman isn't wearing sunglasses. Those are special Oakley arm wrestling goggles that protect the wearer from stray spit and sweat.

Astroluc said...

TOP 50!

blah.

Salty Seattle said...

"random, lacking context and meek"

Gosh, sufferist--

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my writing.

Thank god Snobbie's back! We missed you, Snob!

Astroluc said...

the last thing anybody should do is combine cheap beer and prune-based desserts

preach the truth, snobbie!

william perkins said...

1/4 eskimo and still top50

sufferist said...

Is douche a gender neutral adjective, equally applied to males and females? What would say ye? What would the female option be if applicable?

bikesgonewild said...

...jolene did a thorogood job & destroyed the competition when it came to defining what ought a' go in that tri-nippled water bottle...

...she's "bad to the bone"...

bikesgonewild said...

..."the last thing anybody should do is combine cheap beer and prune-based desserts"...

...that makes for a shitty drunk...

...just sayin'...

Eric said...

And here I had convinced myself that The Snob was somewhere in Black Rock City. After seeing this guy riding around on what could have been an IOJB I figured it had to be him:

http://images.burningman.com/index.cgi?image=33458

That pic is from 2008, but I ran into him this year at our bar at 7E and asked if he was the BSNYC. Even though he told me no, I still wondered...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Sufferist,

I believe a female douchebag is a "douchebaguette."

--RTMS

mikeweb said...

Belated welcome back, Snob, now that my workways activities finally subsided.

Yes, we were like a wayward peloton on a mandated radio-free day in a grand tour...

bgw, did jolene spent her holiday in Delaware?

Salty Seattle said...

Yeah, that's a tough one.

Douche-tastic? Probably my fave.

Hmm.. still not so fresh.

Touche'?

Salty Seattle said...

Ahh.. yes. Bested by the best.

I should learn, yet.

Perhaps there's a Cippo mention coming soon?

Anonymous said...

innerlighter,

I have never seen any body run with their drivetrain on their hip. Then again, the burritos are really good where I am.

Anonymous said...

http://prollyisnotprobably.com/2009/09/nyc_thief_gets_his.php

yogisurf said...

I agree you can’t have too many Socks. I went thru a spell (yes, I was sick) where every time I went to the bike shop or shopped online, I bought bike socks on sale. So many colorways!! The cool sayings: “Corn Star” for socks with ears of corn and stars on the legging. I ended up with 80 pair. What-to-do? I entered them in the Del Mar Fair and won 3rd place in the ‘personal collections’ competition. I have conveniently swapped out my usual avatar to a picture of my socks in the glory of their display case. You can see the temporary ribbon in the upper left hand corner.

kane said...

Does that Raffa red armband remind anyone else of a brutal regime from the WWII era?

Anonymous said...

More accurately, the tricorne...

Asterisk said...

To Anon @ 3:05PM

"pledging their undying tolerance for each other."

Brilliantly funny and, may I add, just brilliant.

kale said...

Snob,

Not to ruffle your chicken suit feathers, but I think the accepted term is "Trixie", in the parlance of our times.

innerlighter said...

Thanks anon. I guess a right-dismounting person would be stupid and in need of a wash at that point. Didn't puzzle that one out. Maybe I was just blinded by Raphas pretenseway.

mikeweb said...

kane, nice call. amazing how subliminal that thing is... I guess a white circle with some kind of black emblem inside would've been a little too obvious...

innerlighter said...

Snob,
HCWDB coined the term "Bleeth" for the femaleway douchebags. Something stemming from Yasmine Bleeth or something.

But I digress,
meh

kale said...

mikeweb-

Well, Obama is a National Socialist, and it just goes to show how much the liberal cyclocrossing bourgeoisie have been brainwashed not to recognize the 4th Reich when it marches into Hoogerheide astride Speedvagen(s).

Salty Seattle said...

So 'cross season begins...

I still ponder this every year: why would anyone purposely get off a perfectly functioning bicycle in the middle of a decent ride/race? Oh yeah, to take a chance at racking one's crotchal region, on the remount. Seen many a rider downed in the wrong way..

And Rapha is offering padded shoulders? Are they even paying attention?

Anonymous said...

BGW - wasn't "Under the Boardwalk" a Drifters tune?

Just sayin'

mikeweb said...

On another topic, is anyone riding the NY century this coming Sunday?

Shram said...

74th!! And I even read it!

now back to my gatorade, margarita, and chocolate milk, from the same bottle.

Anonymous said...

Because having one nipple on a water bottle simply could not do, someone somehow, found a company to manufacture and sell a water bottle with 3 nipples on it.

Might as well be sucking down Y-water if were all going that route.

BTW. Just in time for autumn. Made it for you while on holiday.

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j148/clockwork420/imapcandimarmedqw2.jpg

mlliu said...

Oh my God, I'm listening to you being interviewed on NPR right now! And I agree, I don't know why we're expected to show up to work all pressed and sanitized. Maybe if they could air condition the subways or something. I myself am looking forward to the moderately cool weather of fall.

Anonymous said...

That jacket somehow resembles some people we knew during WWII.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC on NPR? Cognitive dissonance has exceeded measurable levels.

Thousand Points of Light said...

Bicycling Magazine and now NPR? It's impressive; congrats.

Anonymous said...

Shoulder pads? Rapha never fails to offend.

Anonymous said...

NPR? Cartalk?

Anonymous said...

Shoulder pads? You mean like this?

No fucking wire hangers!

mlliu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

My wife has referred to me as a "bike snob" for at least the last 15 years, so, yes, there is more than one...

mlliu said...

Oops, I've added the link. On "All Things Considered." Here's the story: "Bike Commuting Becomes Easier in New York City," http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112651608.

At least, I think that was him. I missed the beginning of the interview but the reporter referred to him as "Bike Snob." I assume there can be only one.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 4:49pm...ouch !!!...the drifters is correct...you are so right & my only defense is that while it's a tuesday, it sure feels like a monday...

...mikeweb...red neckerson has always said that jolene "get's around"...one can only speculate...

United_Partisan said...

you didn't mention the mysterious red armband on the Rapha jersey. Is this designed to appeal to 'cross fascists?

Anonymous said...

HUGE 4ARM

Anonymous said...

Really, the similarity is astounding.

anonymous said...

you may enjoy this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/r4vi/3902007078/

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE94GengqoM&feature=player_embedded

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I just heard your part on NPR's All things considered. I have to say your voice was different than I expected. I am not sure what I thought it would sound like, perhaps a real gritty New Yorker accent, however, you seemed to blend in just fine with the Public Radio crowd.

You know you've arrived when your listed as famous by NPR.

Anonymous said...

New to the site here, and navigating the terms and acronyms. BSNYC is simple, but what is RTMS?
Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation

Help!?!?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, I have seen your dusty Sidis and your greasy fingernails, and now I have heard you advocate slovenlyness in personal appearance on NPR. I know some angry metrosexuals who would like to have a private word with you.

Salty Seattle said...

But WIWM,

He's admitted to manscaping. Doesn't that earn a few metro points?

Nice job on the Big Interview, Snob. Would love to 'hear' it again with the tables turned with you asking the questions. It's kinda there already. Please?

Fierce Panties said...

In case it hasn't been said today,

All You Hater Suck My Balls.

I've been waiting a long time to say that.

Test Tickle said...

Yogi - it appears that you have created a blog site/name based solely on BSNY's rantings. It kind of scares me in that BS may become a god for some folks.

YOGI SURF

YOUR TURN

balls.

Test Tickle said...

Best ad ever:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bik/1356700486.html


balls.

Anonymous said...

Find the NPR audio at http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=3&islist=true&id=2&d=09-08-2009

Scroll down for the article on bikes

Now will you tell me what RTMS stands for?

Aish!

Salty Seattle said...

Oh MY GOD! (Sorry, not you, snobbie) That is the best ad ever!

$950? Really?

Anonymous said...

One oh first!

Anonymous said...

Anon 831-

http://bsexplanation.blogspot.com/2009/05/rtms.html

cyclotourist said...

F'in cappuccino drinking liberal-elites want me to go to work all sweaty. I hope you all choke on your damn vegan sushi.

CoWNA: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mikeweb said...

Nice ideas on NPR, Snob. I've always believed that on hot days after having to wait on an F train platform for 5-10 minutes, I arrive to work just as slovenly as I do after biking for 1/2 an hour.

Seanywonton said...

PERSONAL HYGENE? I don't believe in it, personally!

Plane - Simple said...

HPSR - HDWR

Jarral Ryter said...

So are you diabetic or just interested?

Anonymous said...

Anon 851 -
Thank you. I am hopelessly, helplessly, deeply in love with you.

Ever visit DC?

Anon 831

Anonymous said...

nice spot on NPR. Good radio voice.

Anonymous said...

My prediction for the rest of the year. The fixed gear and hipster apocalypse is starting and it will all come to an end by January.

Anonymous said...

Rapha Cross Jersey inspiration?

http://www.replicaters.com/ww2%20German%20Nazi%20Party%20uniforms/Nazi%20party%

I Rub Commando said...

Snob, does buying a carbon fiber bike, to decrease your carbon footprint make sense?

stream of nothing said...

welcome back snob!

Lantern Rouge?

Anonymous said...

All you haters suck my triple nippled water

Anonymous said...

I don't know, man. That dude at Burning Man in the chicken suit has some RIPPED legs! The kinda rip you can only get from the mean streets of Williamsburg.

TRPL NIPL

ringcycles said...

Fierce Panties: AYHSB?! Please tell me that you're Not a tranny. That would so wreck my image/fantasy of you. Perhaps I too am revealing too much.

CommieCanuck said...

It kind of scares me in that BS may become a god for some folks.

Infidel talk like this will just trigger a jihad.

You know what I HATE about autumn? the cycling community pressuring me into the awesome super sport of cyclocross. We should avoid road riding on the cool, dry days and only reserve it for the humid, sweltering 104 degree days of summer, forcing us to buy water bottles with superfluous third nipples.

Out come the pics of drunken fans alone in fields while riders get covered in mud between colored strings-oh, they are having so much fun. Then the anecdotes of Belgian chocolate waffles: like we need a new excuse to fatten our asses.

Of course, all this requires new frames, with brakes that work, and even beefier bottom brackets, and deep dish carbon wheels that crack because it's YOUR fault. Meh, I'd rather take up an exciting game of Bandy with some traditional curry burgers and chutney fries.

hillbilly said...

Couldn't agree more, CC!!

Anonymous said...

"...deep dish carbon wheels..."

Mmmm deep dish...

Anonymous said...

last! bidges.

Anonymous said...

I wish I were tri-nippled

Grist4 said...

Pickelhauben (with ironic Jewish deli pickles) for douchebag hats.

Shooting coats (with padded shoulders) for shouldering (portaging?) bikes.

Dave Wyman said...

Rapha's autumn offering hold little interest for me because, except for a few tell-tale patches of trees that turn color around town, we don't experience autumn in Los Angeles. It's about six days of summer heat, and 346 days of spring.

Choy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
richard irvine said...

I can only ever dream of living in New York,it's one of the reasons why I enjoy this blog.
But seeing that bloke wearing a tri-corner hat makes me so glad I don't - I really don't think I could stand to see people wandering around in such self-consciously ridiculous statements of their own individuality. It doesn't look good, it's not stylish, that man is a walking tragedy and makes me feel sad.

Anyway, keep it up and I want to see more pictures of halfwits so I can feel good about living in Liverpool, England

Amy Dietz said...

The tri-corner hat was probably being worn in preparation for National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Fritz said...

Whoa ... Rinka


Chaaaa

SAM said...

ALAN J GERSON launched an unprecedented number of initiatives including: a new youth swim team, an evening teenage center, a free community mediation facility, a heart defibrillator pilot program, new emergency shelters for homeless (runaway) teenagers, starting work on the Hudson River Waterfront Park, the first Arts Committee and Calendar, a new Public Safety Committee and a Community Court Proposal.
Please Vote for this strong & Experienced member for him in District-1 Council election on Septemer 15th

Lijo said...

Yea gerson made this city quite insound pollution

snissley said...

I wonder what part of MY biking, er cycling, you would not laugh or poke fun at. I went into a NYC bike shop once, NYC Velo. I even bought something though I felt I had walked into the bar scene from Star Wars. Actually the local denizens acted as if they wondered what planet I called home. Virginia is a bit off the Silk Road I guess.

cyclotourist said...

Han shot first.

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For someone who tries in every fashion to emulate her idol, Angelina Jolie, you’d think Megan Fox would jump at the chance to fill the shoes of a role that Jolie’s already done. “Insiders” on the movie state that she was offered the role of Lara Croft in the latest Tomb Raider installment and girlfriend turned it down. This source states: megan fox naked pics
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Oh my God, how much is this movie going to suck? Who wants to see all the hotness that is Megan Fox turn green and bust out of her clothes? Sure, Fox unclad sounds appealing at first blush, but she’s going to have huge guns and bulging eyes. megan fox naked
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megan fox naked Megan Denise Fox (born May 16, 1986) is an American actress and model. She began her acting career in 2001 with several minor television and film roles, and played a recurring role on Hope and Faith. In 2004, she launched her film career with a role in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. In 2007, she was cast as Mikaela Banes, the love interest of Shia LaBeouf's character in the blockbuster film Transformers which became her breakout role and earned her various Teen Choice Awards nominations. Fox reprised her role in the 2009 sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Later in 2009, she starred as the titular lead character in the film Jennifer's Body.

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