Friday, August 7, 2009

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz?

As the week draws to a close, I'd like to express my profound disappointment in Portland, Oregon, since it's been 24 hours now and I have still heard nothing about a John Hughes memorial theme ride. Yes, that's right--as far as I know, the city that brought you a Michael Jackson Memorial Ride, a Grant Petersen Ride, and even a so-called "Horticultural Challenge" Ride (seriously) has yet to organize a ride in honor of writer/director John Hughes, who died yesterday in Manhattan. Frankly, I can't imagine how the people of Portland could pass up the opportunity to dress themselves like characters from "The Breakfast Club," or "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," or even "Weird Science" (in which 80s sex symbol Kelly LeBrock turns that guy from "Big Love" into an "anthropomorphic pile of feces") and ride around. Really, I'd think this would be a perfect excuse for Portlanders to prove once again that they a tremendous amount of free time and absolutely no dignity. Hopefully I'm just out of the loop and they're already dressing up as the delinquent with a heart and the poor little rich girl as I type this. I'd hate to think they're beginning to take themselves seriously.

Having said that, I now present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the bike of the future. Also, remember, there's no time limit on this quiz, which means it's in accordance with the "Cycle Chic Manifesto."

Thanks as always for reading, and if you partake in any John Hughesian theme rides don't let any authority figures try to put anything in your flower box.


--BSNYC/RTMS




1) "There is evidence that Dr. Ferrari, in the weeks preceding the Tour de France, rode on a scooter between Livigno and Saint Morritz following a number of riders, including Nibali and Pellizotti, with a stopwatch in hand..."

This is apparently implies that:


--pro riders Vincenzo Nibali and Franco Pellizotti are doping.
--pro riders Vincenzo Nibali and Franco Pellizotti are having an affair.
--controversial doctor Michele Ferrari is stalking Nibali and Pellizotti.
--controversial doctor Michele Ferrari cannot afford a car.





2) Cyclingnews reviewer James Huang recently posted a review of the Rapha Lightweight Jersey in which he used the word ________:

--"palp"
--"rub"
--"colorway"
--"schlongtacular"





3) "These are sexy handlebars because they are reasonably creative, but most importantly, they retain functionality." Who said this?

--Bike Snob NYC
--Bike Snob LA
--Bike Snob DC
--Bike Snob SF




4) The warranty on the Segal magnesium road bike is void if the bike is ridden on Shabbat:

--True
--False




5) According to their website, the Vanmoof bike (with integrated lights) is not only "sweat-proof;" it is also:

--"water-proof"
--"hater-proof"
--"gator-proof"
--"ugly as hell"




6) Which is not a tenet of the Copenhagen Cycle Chic Manifesto?

--"I choose to cycle chic and, at every opportunity, I will choose Style over Speed."
--"I will ride with grace, elegance and dignity."
--"I will refrain from wearing and owning any form of 'cycle wear'. The only exception being a bicycle helmet - if I choose to exercise my freedom of personal choice and wear one."
--"It will take me no less than three hours to get to work."





7) According to Core77, this fenderless, rackless concept bike "addresses all the necessities of a standard bike commute."

--False





8) "Rawr!" This "fixed missed connection" occurred in:



***Somewhat Unsafe For Work John Hughes-Themed Crotchal Bonus Question***



In which John Hughes film do we see Molly Ringwald's crotch?

--"The Breakfast Club"
--"Pretty In Pink"
--"She's Having a Baby"
--"Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me"

121 comments:

Anonymous said...

FIRST!

wishiwasmerckx said...

First!

Cogitoergosum said...

Poduium!!!!!

Cogitoergosum said...

So excited I couldn't spell it write.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Damn, pipped at the line.

Surly Bastard said...

Missed the podium, damn ...

Anonymous said...

BOO-YA!

Mark said...

Top 10!

L.A. Food Urchin said...

Too excited. Too new to this. Can't think. Dropped from the lead.

Anonymous said...

yeah top ten !

Luck E. Seven said...

PINK MOLY



.-

Fierce Panties said...

Fail?

Fierce Panties said...

BFAST CLUB

hillbilly said...

a strong showing for wiwm!!! wow, i forgot about that part of Breakfast Club (sorry, Simple Minds)

DC sure is a lot different....

Fierce Panties said...

ooops

extra fingerbang there

db said...

The Best of Craigslist never disappoints...

Cranky Mule said...

It's a good day...

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

rezado said...

I got caught up in a snagging debacle.

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

Palp?

Hey that's my word.

Surly Bastard said...

My daily pursuit of the podium indicates that I too have:

"... a tremendous amount of free time and absolutely no dignity."

Of course I'll be back looking for a good lead-out on Monday.

Elegance & Dignity said...

There's really a Bike Snob DC? That isn't just our Snob having fun?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

E Lowe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
E Lowe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
E Lowe said...

How about a nice greasy pork sandwich, served in a dirty ashtray?

kale said...

My Huffy "White Heat" could totally out whip-stop that Murray "Street Machine" any day of the week, except for Friday night until sundown Saturday.

rezado said...

Snob,

Way to diversify. First N.Y. now D.C. What is next? S.F., P.D.X.? Then the world.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?

Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

Hey
Bike Snob DC
stop jumping my train dude.

Bivalve said...

crotch!

mikeweb said...

Pass!

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

After consulting a palp-ular search engine, I found that I can not take credit for palp. Apologies.

Reasonably creative and most importantly, functionally yours,

Bike Snob Austin IV

mikeweb said...

Damn! Dr. Ferrari wouldn't stop following me around this morning either.

Best call my lawyer. Before sundown.

Fierce Panties said...

Kale,

That't hot! But I always thought the White Heat a goya machine.

HUFF YWIN

Luck E. Seven said...

FAIL!!

With the exception of MR's whites, I cannot believe the collection of stupid that is today's quiz.

4FUX SAKE



.-

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

More corny ass commercials please.

Can your helper monkey find the Scwinn Predator ads from any marvel comic book 83-84, go monkey go.

MRCB said...

RTMS,

Thank you for the inspiration for my new pseudonym, I've been needing an acronym.

MRCB

Fierce Panties aka Molly Ringwald Crotchal Bonus

libertyonbikes! said...

"Twin Peaks:fire crotch for me"?
and one of the best CL ever,
but DC SNOB?

"I was nothing short of titillated
when I spotted this Fuji Roubaix"
or
blogging about the "Real World" cast,
or EVER using this line:
"for those of you who follow me on Twitter"

crap,
now he knows we know about him,
as just updated.

DC area, if you hear a loud pop,
it's a swollen hipsters head bursting, after achieving three minutes of fame......

MRCB said...

L.E.S.

A fail keeps in theme with the John Hughes online RTMS comment section memorial ride.

It's cool to be a Beautiful Loser.

JClev19 said...

I didn't realize there were multiple BikeSnobs out there. Much like Jet Li in The One, you now need to seek out and destroy all of the other Snobs, in order to consolidate the collective Snob power from all universes into one, incredibly snobby being. Then you'll really be hilarious.

Mad Jack McMad said...

ROONEY EATS IT!

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

Hey
JC-lev1-9

When you say destroy what exactly are you talking about ?!

belmont sledgehammer said...

Man, I thought it was Breakfast Club that we saw that little Molly-esque bit of happiness, but then the accompanying photo was (I believe) from Pretty in Pink, leading me to guess wrong. Trickery!!!

(oh well -- it was worth it to get another look at that Murray Space Dirigible transport unit.)

Elegance ampersand Dignity said...

Those Bike Snob wannabees usually self-destruct before any corrective action is needed.

mikeweb said...

Anyone gonna be doing the ny century in September?

I'm planning on bonking by the time I hit The Bronx... I'll call it The Bronk.

Murray Klein said...

Say what you want about the Street Machine, but our product managers were decades ahead of the curve when it came to low-trail geometry. Or maybe the bike in the final profile shot is the actual unit that was used for the jump. I forget.

libertyonbikes! said...

Snob?
what do you think with all the other SNOB copies. but they're not even copies...

Like going to see a band called ALLROY, that you would think does cover songs of ALL.
But instead it's Erasure covers. Why?
Why call yourself that?

and sorry,
but the line
"For those of you who follow me on Twitter..."

well, that's just douche.
like
walking around with a bluetooth on, and no one's calling.
like
wearing sunglasses indoors,
in a dark club,
at night.

dood?
give your girlfriend her jeans back

hillbilly said...

mikeweb - i might, first i have to bonk in philly in a couple weeks where i plan to, quite literally, hit the wall. time warner ever show?

I Predict said...

FTOYWFMOT will soon be the new AYHSMB.

mikeweb said...

hillbilly, ah yes THAT wall, I've heard of it, never had the pleasure though.

Well, Time Warner did show, except I was asleep on my couch. The rather noisy doorbell wasn't enough to wake me, so they moved on and couldn't come back. Take two is tomorrow morning.

jonc said...

Yo~ nice pick up on the Moof...i had see this beauty here:

http://www.metropolitandecor.com/CYML.html

BikeSnobNYC said...

Libertyonbikes!,

What upsets me most is that he actually seems to like those bars.

Really "feeling" the Twitter nod. Very arena rock: "For those of you who follow me on Twitter (Fire!) I sa-lute you!!!"

--BSNYC

Luck E. Seven said...

MRCB-

Ha! You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.

BTFL LOSR

This will be a no-drop ride, all you brains, athletes, basket cases, princesses, and criminals...



.-

matt said...

Milwaukee up in this piece!

ken e. said...

laughing... FAIL!

http://boingboing.net/2009/06/06/awesome-infringing-m.html

Anonymous said...

Lust seems very complicated in Milwaukee, She seems to have amazing observational and imaginary skills.

Does every design student have nothing better to do, than design "ultimate urban bikes"

AARGH

Anonymous said...

Oh my God Kara Goucher is so fucking hot!

nycifyouare said...

bike snob DC. that makes sense. now those who are closer to DC don't have to make the commute, and can just report to their local snob. I hope this catches on.

CommieCanuck said...

It seems that the "ultimate" urban bike always includes embedded LEDs and has the kool ikea-urban minimalist design inspired by Tron. I bet that designer wears funky glasses and has a black turtleneck on. He had his eyes surgically mis-corrected by LASIK just to wear the glasses.

Fitting images to end the week, combining the ultimate urban leisure suit and most awesome mooseknuckles ever.

Anonymous said...

Molly Ringwald was that nerdy cute girl you always dreamed about nailing.

Anonymous said...

first footbelts and now this teague thing...

powergrips need a better lawyer.

CommieCanuck said...

so RTMS...how much does a BikeSnob franchise cost?

With the right marketing, you could have a BS franchise at every highway stop, shared space with "Hardees". Live to dream.

--BCJPMS

Anonymous said...

If you get thirsty, that top tube collects water and stores in an urban water barrel attached to the seat tube.

frilly said...

I should be fired, I only missed one question. But it was the sexy handlebars question, so thats forgiveable. Isn't it?

And Liberty I'm glad you clarified the whole sunglasses indoors at clubs thing cuz sometimes I do wear sunglasses indoors. But only when my eyebrows are freshly waxed.

The Breakfast Club is one of my absolute favorites. fwiw, more freak than princess for sure.

bikesnobdc said...

Thanks for the mention. I almost jumped out of my Sidis when I saw my picture of that sexy redhead.

Anonymous said...

Total of 4 comments counted on BSDC blog. Boy does he have a following.

curmudgeon said...

mr. dc, i'm confused, I looked at your blog and there s an article about hipsters riding fixies (or fixters as you claim they are called) and the first pic (nashville hipster) is a guy holding what is clearly a geared bike, what gives?

Just Sayin' said...

That Milwaukee Craig's List creative writing project is hilarious, but I wonder if the guy who wrote it has any idea how many pepper spray purchases it has inspired...

CommieCanuck said...

If you get thirsty, that top tube collects water and stores in an urban water barrel attached to the seat tube.

The inside of the downtube is lined with foil and lit by solar lights to form a urban hydroponic growing environment, fertilized by a hole in the saddle collecting human waste while riding through the seat tube. the top tube holds LED lights, water, and doritos/funyuns.

Thus, the dealer allows for maximum freshness while traveling between clients.

See what happens when you vote Democrat?

CommieCanuck said...

Total of 4 comments counted on BSDC blog. Boy does he have a following.

I peaked at 11 in my blogging days, those were heady times.

CommieCanuck said...

Frilly, ...you're fired.

Turn in your socks and clear your desk by the end of today.

Anonymous said...

Flower Box: http://tinyurl.com/n4lc4t

leroy said...

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Bust Magazine moved its editorial office to Milwaukee?

Who'll tell them that PBR isn't still brewed there?

Ride safe this weekend!

frilly said...

+1 on the funyuns
-1 on the rhinestone brass knuckles (?) Seriously?

ExtraCrochety said...

Gee Snob I thought you were a real movie buff.
That is not Molly's crotch.
It is clearly a stunt crotch.

frilly said...

Hey Luck E. its almost Moonlight Ramble time.

Don't know if I'm gonna do it this year, last year was such a clusterfuck. Too many people. I remember I got stuck behind this family riding abreast across the whole road--mom, pop, & a bunch of little kids with training wheels. I was on the left hugging the curb, a bit boxed in and quietly waiting for an opening. Some idiot comes up behind & keeps yelling louder and louder, "On your left, on your left." Finally I lost it, looked over my shoulder and said, "I'm already on my left, do ya fucking mind?"

Not one of my better moments. Thankfully it was on a darker stretch of road.

ant1 said...

Speaking of rides, for those of you in the atlanta area, or anywhere for that matter, there's an awesome 24 hour race/alleycat thing I've been doing for the past couple of years. It's put on by a group called faster mustache. It's the weekend of september 12th. It's a fairly large event, with folks coming in from all over. You can do it solo or in teams.

http://24.fastermustache.org/

Anonymous said...

Is that moose knuckle, linda carter and where is if from.

CommieCanuck, you have way too much time on your hands.

Bravo.

red neckerson said...

bikesnob aint married im tellin ya

if a wife caught any married man posting molly ringswalds crotch on the web shed cut his balls off

it was a phoney bio detail to throw the hounds off

i done throwed hounds off myself and im tellin ye thats how its done

so fuck you

Anonymous said...

On behalf of Portland I'd like to apologize for not having a "John Hughes Memorial Ride". We're currently busy partaking in a "Brandon Roy signed a multyear contract extension with the Portland Trail Blazers Ride".

Anonymous said...

What's with the imposters from all over the map-there is only one real bikesnob! What out for rusha-homa-only in Brooklyn

newkid said...

everything i know and hold true seems to be crumbling around me with the knowledge of other bikesnobs in existence. the good news is that there is a midnight critical mass tonight so i can palp some tight jeans, hop on my fixie and know that everything will be okay.

Anonymous said...

Sooo, Frilly, what do you wear after a bikini wax?

Chris said...

I was really hoping that Cyclingnews used "colorways". It's acceptance cannot be denied.

bikesgonewild said...

...FAUX SNOB...

...an impostor would be someone who had the capacity to mimic the actual style & established repartee of bsnyc/rtms...

...these sniveling, internet wannabe's all fall woefully short of the mark...even if they are supposedly well intended...

...ENRG SUXS...

...JUST SAYN...

libertyonbikes! said...

I guess Portland is scrambling for a proper venue for the memorial ride since all the schools are closed for the summer. Word is there may be a 'Vacation' theme though, until September rolls around. This one will feature grandmas in rocking chairs,and dogs with their leashes tied to bikes. Obviously it meanders at a slow pace to some second rate put-put golf course.

libertyonbikes! said...

i did get a little laugh at the
'hipster making fun of hipster'
on DC.

not much is more absurd.

goths making fun of goths?
two prius' racing each other?

you may try pointing out how another hipster is a joke.

but you have 'punchline' across
your extra small track jacket.

Jason McDowell said...

That Milwaukee girl who wrote about Comet Cafe needs to be more descriptive. That could have been any number of regular patrons.

Richard Feynman said...

There are billions and billions of roughly parallel universes, so it would indeed be proper to say that we inhabit a multiverse. In each universe there is a BikeSnob, each one ever so similar and yet different and unaware of each other's existence. It is theoretically possible to access them at the level of what is referred to as quantum foam, representing imperfections of the space-time continuum at the subatomic level. Thusly and I speak from conjecture it would be possible to have multiple BikeSnobs inhabit a single subatomic focus, and upon a process called quantum magnification, all BikeSnobs could find themselves in one small room in Williamsburg. Anyone who finds it difficult to conceptualize multiple BikeSnobs in multiple universes is just plain fucked.

frilly said...

anon 4:31--I have no idea. I'm too much of a baby to have that done. Plenty painful enough just to do the eyebrows.

Salty Seattle said...

Priuses racing each other.. Nice!

BTW, what is "'feeling' the Twitter nod"? Does it have anything to do with a mushroom cap?

Man, so much new vocab this week! mellifluous, Moose Knuckles, and now this. Phew!

Anon 4:31 said...

Frilly, don't tell me that you are palping those embarrasing "panty spiders."

belmont sledgehammer said...

So is the portland 'vacation' themed ride you speak of in honor of the Chevy Chase classic, the GoGo's anthem, or simply the idea of taking several days off work for the pursuit of leisure? I'd think we should probably schedule one for each just to be safe.

Anonymous said...

BullShDC likes to see cover bands? perfect! he's like a cover bikesnob.

if BSDC is reading these comments, please post a link to your ironic mcdonald's bike while wearing your monkey suit.

keithwwalker said...

Don't hate on PDX, fwiw, I always ride around with a bra on my head in lieu of helmet - so everyday is John Hughes day!



Portland John Hughes Memorial Ride

Anonymous said...

Extreme seat angle

stream of nothing said...

darn that crotch question, ruined my clean sweep :)

Luck E. Seven said...

Yeah Anon 4:13, get it together!

Btw, that would be a group ride in a "John Hughes Memorialway."

Frills, gotta love the Midnight Ramble a la STL. Makes the 5 Burroughs Ride look like an actual race.



.-

hampshire said...

I hope he Rest in peace.............

MRCB said...

100

libertyonbikes! said...

oh! 101!
drunk,
hipstered out
& falling down now!

Anonymous said...

I'm organizing a Portland-Based theme ride in NYC.

Everyone meet at the PS food coop and we'll ride down Flatbush to the shore and tell people what they're doing wrong the entire time.

Tevas are not required, but recommended.

Anonymous said...

(Opps, posted it in Thursdays instead of Fridays, dooh)

Hey BSNYC and fellow bikers,

I live and ride in metro Detroit and as a general rule it sucks as drivers try to run you down on the regular. Since it's the motor city I guess they assume anyone who tries to commute by anything other than a car should be run over. Our city's radio stations even support the assault of bicyclists. Check out bikeportland.org as they have some info on one of our local radio station's DJs and how they hate bicyclists and feel they should be "grand theft auto-ed." They especially seem to hate anyone wearing cyclist clothes?!

I wish I lived somewhere where I could commute in relative safety. Where perhaps the worst thing that happens to me is a random u lock beat-down or, even worse, my raggedly old bike being spotted, photoed, and ridiculed on this blog.

I'm envious of you snob!

Anonymous said...

Hipsters hate bike safety http://stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com/post/155084229/bicycle-safety-dude-i-totally-rode-my-bike-home

bikesgonewild said...

...thank god for the new, improved bsnyc/rtms w/ "colorwayed" sidebar advertising...

...three weeks ago on the "spiel of disapproval" i could only learn about snob's cycling likes, dislikes & what was cool, hip or not so much & whatever shit we all agreed or disagreed on...

...BUT NOW...

...well, i've learned how to lose 50lbs, never be tired of being tired (fuck !!!...thank you, frs, thank you, lance !!!) plus (+) shock girls by growing a bigger penis (btw, is the 4" they talk about added length or girth ???...just wondering but i'm hoping for both, to be honest...'cuz, hey, i wanna get & then give my money's worth)...

...my checks are in the mail & boy oh boy, i can hardly wait...i'm gonna be kickin' ass like a motherfucker...

bikesgonewild said...

...as a friend sez "but you'll still be ugly"...

...ya but i'll be a fitter, lighter, not so tired, better hung, ugly motherfucker...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

..."Danilo Di Luca’s B samples positive from this year’s Giro d’Italia."...

...it's good to be positive in life, danilo but this is not the way to go about it...

bikesgonepsychotic said...

...large hairy frogs jumping through my wheels...endless mounds of bullshit dripping with disease...

...my colon is swollen...with fetid corruption...i long for the day that it explodes...

...I've got to be free...to pee in the stream...to pee where I deem...to pee where it's clean...

...I've got to be free...to pee in the breeze...to pee when I sneeze...to pee on my knees...

..and fuck you...just sayin'...

zach bender said...

do people not lock their wheels in new york?

Andrew said...

Great to read these comments..keep going..

___________________
Andrew
One Stop shop for all your Email Marketing Solutions

AngryBikeWrench said...

In no way do I consider myself in the same league as BSNYC, but for a more technical and angrier take on the sport, please check out AngryBikeWrench. Google it.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

This is apparently implies that it is monday.

Anonymous said...

What sport? Commuting to work? Lifestyle marketing? Making hilarious observations about trendy nonsence?
Bike racing?
Sometimes this blog is about bike racing

Surly Bastard said...

Anyone spotted the TV commercial with dorky dudes in suits riding bright green bikes?

I'm sensing a colorway revue coming down soon ...

Brad W. said...

"i done throwed hounds off myself and im tellin ye thats how its done"

-that's funny s right there.

edwin bicycles said...

breakfast club, and rocking those cotton panties with style...

rrr925 said...

who said "breakfast club"? was it emilio or judd staring at "it"?

edwin bicycles said...

Judd of course! hiding from the cat that raided Barry Manilows wardrobe mwha ha ha.....

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