Friday, August 28, 2009

BSNYC Summer Recess Announcement (and Friday Fun Quiz!)

Firstly, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that today marks the official start of my "Summer Recess." This is the period during which I sew the pant legs back onto all my cutoff shorts, take my fall chicken suit out of cold storage (if I don't store it properly it will molt), and change the grips and tape on the "touch points" of my various bicycles to "colourways" that are more seasonally appropriate. As you can imagine, this process is quite labor intensive, so that means I will be taking a break from this blog, but rest assured that I will return on Tuesday, September 8th with regular updates. You can also rest assured that my helper monkey Vito and I will take the opporunity to catch up on other matters as well, such as the dissemination of the various "prizeways" for the Fat Cyclist Knuckle Tattoo Tribute Competition, the perusal of emails, and of course the much-needed shampooing and deodorizing of my 70s-themed bicycle work area. (Suede bean bags and shag carpet may look great, but they also tend to retain both grease and odors--especially when you employ a helper monkey.)

Secondly, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll see confirmation, and if you're wrong you'll be seduced by Murray.

Thanks very much for reading, emailing, commenting and making the "process" of writing this blog so enjoyable, be sure to wring the last few drops of sweaty enjoyment from the remainder of the summer, enjoy the Labor Day weekend (assuming your countryway observes it), and ride safely, smartly, and flambulliently.

--BSNYC/RTMS









1) Gary Klein, once synonymous with fat aluminum tubing and dessert-like "colourways," is now synonymous with:

--Stethescopes
--Periscopes
--Telescopes
--The Scopes Monkey Trial







2) "Fuss Vom Gas" means:

--"Foot on the Gas"
--"Foot off the Gas"
--"The Gas Foot"
--"Fussy When Gassy"







3) According to Seth Stevenson of Slate, Dutch city bikes are:

--"Primly recitilinear"
--"Prudely rectal"
--"Rectangularly prim"
--"Practically rectangular"




4) "Y Water" is the first beverage that you consume anally.

--True
--False







5) Who makes this steel "club racer," complete with gently sloping top tube and bars slightly lower than the saddle?


--Rivendell
--Velo Orange
--Bridgestone
--Cervélo






6) Whose theme saddle is this?

--Alberto Contador's
--Alexandre Vinokourov's
--Chris Horner's
--Danilo DiLuca's






(Unzipped by a pothole.)

7) According to Zipp's lead engineer Josh Poertner, why did both of Magnus Backstedt's wheels fail in the 2008 Paris-Roubaix?

--He is too big
--Carbon rims are a poor choice for a Spring Classic
--He chose poor lines on the cobbled sections
--He ran 24mm tires instead of 27mm tires on race day






8) Which bicycle company is "dropping" this fixed-gear freestyler?

--Giant
--Felt
--Trek
--Specialized





(Model has been clothed and sepiaed for your convenience.)

9) Tough times for the men's magazines? The above image, complete with crappy old department store mountain bike, is this month's "Playboy" centerfold.

--False



***Special Discman-Themed Bonus Question***



Two Years Ago, Punk on a Bike - w4m - 23 (TriBeCa)
Date: 2009-08-28, 2:33AM EDT

Reply To This Post


2 years ago I was walking my dog on Beach Street near Hudson, wearing a flowered dress and listening to ____________________________ on my discman! You biked by, black jeans, gangly, no helmet, turned around to look at me. Smiled cheekily. It may have been directed at the person behind me but I never forgot. I had just cut my hair. I love you?


What was she listening to?

--Iggy and the Stooges
--Creedence Clearwater Revivial
--Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians
--The audiobook of David Lee Roth's "Crazy From the Heat"


254 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 254 of 254
CommieCanuck said...

BGW: bottom line, it was a case of dumb meets dumber, one guy's dead, the other guy's life is ruined. Plenty of blame to go around and the AG is looking at serious jail time.

Frilly, effective use of "schlong" in comments.Kudos.
The gold tie indicates the guy who carries the baby oil, Old Spice, and tuba-tan. Simple, but effective system.

CommieCanuck said...

You can see a surveillance video of the death here.

In Toronto, it's common to see pissed off bike messengers reach into open windows and grab the driver's keys. Sheppard likely helped steer the car into the mailbox.

bikesgonepsychotic said...

...everyone here is a douchebag...

...plus or minus 4...

...fuck you, too...

sufferist said...

BGP: that saddens me a little...I'm sorry that you have this opinion of everyone...hopefully our fine character and behaviors will change your mind...please give us another chace...your call is important to us.

Anonymous said...

Doin' drugs don' make self esteem.
We get that pussy harmstrong sayin' fanks all the time and remember cancer.

Ya see, a real winner don't need sidelines.

Aollo was syin' once: be a thinker, not a stinker.

Finkin out load. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

Frill, what took so long to lose your lunch? Penis-polished spectacles? I'll bet she got Lasix shortly thereafter so it could never happen again...

rocky balboa said...

ye see. keep it down to earf.

rokets are for nasa.

Anonymous said...

Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

Rooney said...

I tell you what dip-shit. You don't like my policies you can just come on down here and smooch my big ol' white butf. pucker up buttercup.

Salty Seattle said...

Holy Shit!

2 pages! Doesn't that activate a new podium?

I got messed up in that, 3K-to-the-finish-roundabout-teardown, earlier in the week, but race radio says BGW was up on the podium when Hinault went all ellipsis-ical.

'least that's what I heard..

Reed Enwright said...

Firstly, manly bacon booze ...

... secondly, the whole focus on bikes, bike culture, et al. everytime a cyclist is involved in an accident and/or road rage incident is inane.

It makes statistical sense that the more people ride them, the more bike related carnage will ensue. It doesn't mean we have to be put under a microscope, and worse, viewed as one homogeneous entity. Tonight on the CBC news, they had a 'cyclist' switch places with a 'motorist'.

Why not just interview me ... I ride and drive (shock).

For the record, it sounds like this latest roadrage cyclist death in TO (what's with that place) was the perfect storm of douchedom ... IMHO.

ken e. said...

mustaches first!

what's more reprehensible (and now ironically in style), seventies nose carpets or defending yourself with a car? thankfully we don't have (legally) concealed handguns "up here"...

Anonymous said...

ken e. --> When everyone is packing heat, folks are much more polite. Just sayin'...

jolene said...

whats goin on here

get back to fixen my beafy botom braket or no shine for yall no how

wiat i yall evar hit a birt with yer spoakes and git fethhers an blood in yer chain that shits hard to get off

Anonymous said...

Jolene you ain't got no beef in yer bottom bracket, lay off the meth and dig into some mac and cheese and put some junk in that trunk, baby!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to take it back to the priuses. I have a 31-yr old car and it gets close to 30mpg. so if I dump it for a new prius, is it good for the planet to demand 2000lbs of plastic and crap of it to replace my old car? to get 40-something mpg? complicated.

ken e. said...

statistics show less weapons equals less death. my new "hinterland's who's who" is gonna be called...

WHNA NGRY
PRYX ATAK

kale said...

Two men enter, one man leaves!

I hear Portland is building one on Cully Blvd, but Toronto needs it more.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 2:55pm...

...basically all this stuff, prius's & whatnot, are just stopgap measures...

...we need a new technology...it might never happen but it also might be just around the bend in a direction that hasn't yet been traveled...

...we're a species that's good at developing "bandages" to fix 'stuff' but we haven't evolved our skill set much in the direction of looking deep enough to prevent the need for 'stuff' to be fixed...

...hey, personally, as an example of the miracles of modern medicine i'm grateful those "bandages" were devised but ultimately i think we're capable of a lot more...

...but when you look around at the state of the world, it makes ya wonder if we really are capable of evolving...

...***bgw's friday fun quiz***...
.........(essay question).........

...100,000 years from now, is our species still around w/ our living basic problems solved, are we long extinct, or are we back to "cave-man-ing" this ball of dirt ???...

Anonymous said...

Priuses (Prii?) may get good mileage, but DAMN! that is one ugly car! I say keep rollin' that 30 year old hooptee and every time you don't write a car payment check, laugh at the Prius owners and their smugness. Better yet, just siphon some gas from a Prius next time you need to fill up. They get such good mileage they can spare a little.

Anonymous said...

sooo, frills, you lost it on your 21st bday...remarkable co-inkidink eh?

bikesgonewild said...

...1st to not wanna own a prius...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydvAQ6Y49vc

Anonymous said...

...we're a species that's good at developing "bandages" to fix 'stuff' but we haven't evolved our skill set much in the direction of looking deep enough to prevent the need for 'stuff' to be fixed...

ok so you like to believe in the feasibility of a perpetual motion machine + 1.

in a thousand years we will be fighting over old landfill sites.

Anonymous said...

"After a couple of hours on the bike, you've earnt a couple of fags"

Russell Crowe

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8237512.stm

Reed Enwright said...

... in a thousand years we will be fighting over old landfill sites.

Cockroach archaeologists will be excavating our landfills.

ramesh said...

its really very nice blog

Add My URL

Anonymous said...

Check out this super-stud:

http://www.xo-1.org/2007/09/mountain-bikes-who-needs-them.html

"I routinely dust every mountain biker I encounter on the trail. And I ride a road bike."

Does he "slay" the "competition" in charity rides as well? Check out some of the badass trails they ride, photos on the main page.

theshepherdsdog said...

hey everyone. just though i would share that on a ride today i saw a fellow road rider palping a camelback. amazing

sufferist said...

Hello-

Sometimes when I ride a long distance (80+ miles) in an area that has little to no support, I Camelback for survival and comfort issues. It tends to keep my fluids colder for a longer period of time than in a water bottle. This may have been what you saw.

Isn't less egrigeous than the water bottle tree?

Wes said...

Sufferist

Comfort issues? You piss in your camelback? I suppose it keeps it off the ground where an unsuspecting anonymous blogger may slip on the bewetted leaves.

Anonymous said...

Pros palp camelbaks in the mountain stages and long time trials. They're also recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists on Serrotas. Gotta rinse the acidic, sugary sports-beverages out of your mouth at some point during the day. Unless, of course, you like root canals. I'm not one to judge..

Peace, love, and vicodin..

Anon 2:55. If your car really is 30 years old, it probably lacks a catalytic converter, yes? Therefore, it pollutes more than most cars and trucks, even the Hummers, that are on the road today.

Now, I hate Prii, because they're so, damn, slow on the Freeway. Might I recommend a MiniCooper to you? They look great when you're wearing Celebutards! The Vag-etta is also a great little car, but the headlights almost never work with both at the same time. Just don't get fooled by the Les-baru. They have shitty mileage, and the engine isn't even that great. Throw-away parts from Porshe Boxter, are still garbage.

Salty Seattle said...

Cadel takes the Golden Jersey!

He may not have much going for him anymore, but least he stuck with it, long enough.

Salty Seattle said...

Wow, I love beer. It makes everything look good..even Cadel..

yogisurf said...

God, is it Tuesday yet?

sufferist said...

Yes I find cool fluids more comfortable to consume than warm/hot fluids. When I keep a water bottle on my bike in the 95+ degree heat/humidity, at about mile 35, my water bottle contents temp is about 75-80 degrees, where as the similarly traveled Camelback contents are still chilled. That to me is more comfortable. The thermal water bottles help a little more, but not a whole bunch.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 6:47pm..."ok so you like to believe in the feasibility of a perpetual motion machine + 1."...

...nope...yer reading too much into what i'm sayin'...what i'd like too believe in is a perpetually intelligent universal society...

...salty seattle..."Wow, I love beer. It makes everything look good..even Cadel.."...

...wow, yerself...just how much beer have you been drinking ???...

bikesgonewild said...

...btw salty seattle...valeverde in d'oro &"Evans was apoplectic, claiming that Gesink put him into the barriers"...

...palpably so...

Salty Seattle said...

Yeah. Cycling is not the only thing that Portland can claim. Oregon beers are incredible.

I was watching the Vuelta this morning, and flipping to the women's game in the US Open during the ad breaks. It was an interesting comparison, seeing Cadel displaying the same behaviour as the 17-year old American. Yup, the teen-age girl. I'm not a fan of Valverde, per se, but I was glad to see him take over first in the GC. Kinda nice to see a Spaniard go Golden. It may be his last chance, given his proclivities for hitting the deck.

bikesgonewild said...

...must be lotta mo' stress in the road racin' game...buddy a' mine, named tommy mac was cadel's mtb mechanic for years...traveled the world over w/ the dude & i've always heard about how cool evans was...

...nowadays, not so much...every time we see the lad he's edgy, pissed off & ready to attack...

...like he doesn't usually do on the bike...how ironic...

Pedro Garcia Millan said...

ALERTA!

La estafa automotriz mas grande en el territorio Mexicano…

Para MAS informacion pinche:

http://pedromillan.blogspot.com/

Gracias

sufferist said...

We are only a few scant hours away from the return of our beloved snobbie, the tension is palpable...

mikeweb said...

Glad I got Lasik so I don't have to worry about having my glasses cleaned in a most unclean manner.

Now that I carrying around my camera, Peter Parker style, I just have to remember to use it. Like the construction traffic control orange vest guy on the Manhattan bridge bike lane ramp this morning. I still say that retaining wall needs some inspirational artwork.

Snobby's wife said...

Bad news folks, Snobby got hold of some bad acid at Burning Man and won't be able to write a post this morning. Maybe tomorrow, but he's pretty messed up, just staring at his hand right now. He is very pleased to be wearing his chicken suit though. Thanks for all of your support!

hillbilly said...

i know i am certainly palping some tension. mikeweb - couldn't agree more, we gotta get on that.

captain said...

..... *watches tumbleweed blow by* .....

sufferist said...

Dear Snob's mom: Um, bad acid brings out all of your paranoid delusions and demons to inescapably feast on your insecurities, attack your thought process, wreck your body and make you wish you had not taken the second hit after the first one was "not working". I think that maybe what your son got is good acid, it's just potent. He'll be alright. An expansive vista or carnival might be the right place for him now.

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