Friday, July 17, 2009

BSNYC Fridan Fun Quiz!

As the weekend comes upon us like Ben Stiller came on the Columbia team bus (by which I only mean that it is welcome, though it is worth noting that the weather has been pretty hot and sticky lately), I hope you will join me in sending best wishes for an expedited recovery to Levi "Letle Viride" Leipheimer, who has been forced to withdraw from the Tour de France due to a broken wrist. While Johan Bruyneel expressed disappointment, he also refused to confirm or deny rumors that Leipheimer was the unintended victim of an inter-team plot to rid Astana of Alberto Contador. Furthermore, Bruyneel also refused to comment on rumors that a "diminutive Frenchman" was recently spotted attempting to install a Mavic R-Sys front wheel onto Contador's Trek Madone. According to an anonymous source, when questioned the Frenchman would only say that he was attempting to "curate" Contador's bike, and that Mavic's proprietary tra-comp technology is the "centerpiece of any groupo."

And so, as this cloud of controversy thickens like a masters racer's midriff, I present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the video that prompted the closing of fixed-gear culture, even though it's pretty much exactly like every other fixed-gear video. (The video had previously been redacted upon closure of the "scene.")

Thanks for reading, enjoy the weekend, and ride safe.


--BSNYC/RTMS


1) According to Wikipedia, one reason to "go commando" is that:

--it can eliminate pantylines
--it can be more comfortable
--it can be good for the environment due to less detergent use
--it can have significant benefits to the vulva





2) This photograph taken in Williamsburg, Brooklyn is encouraging because:

--It proves that yellow cabs will stop for shirtless people with facial tattoos
--It proves that fixies still have "street cred" since they are ridden by shirtless people with facial tattoos
--You don't need to spend big bucks on a pair of Outlier shorts to go "commando" on your fixie
--All of the above




3) Whose nipple is this?

--Red Hot Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis
--Tour de France maillot jaune Rinaldo Nocentini
--Serial stage winner and alleged racist Mark Cavendish
--Serial retrogrouch and uber-curmudgeon Jobst Brandt




4) Shane Stock would be so proud! This New York City woman is riding:

--an Iro bike
--an Oso bike
--a Zoso bike
--a Mofo bike





5) If you're going to ride your bike on the sidewalk, you might as well:

--Wear giant headphones
--Ride in salmon-colored pants
--Ride a Puma in the "bruise" colourway
--All of the above




6) It's OK to be a bike salmon as long as you're accompanied by a dog.

--True
--False




7) Spotted in the wild! Republic Bikes are now available from which clothing retailer?

--Old Navy
--Target
--Urban Outfitters
--American Apparel




8) "Fuck Yo Couch" may very well be the rallying cry of a generation.

--True
--False




9) Complete the above "Missed Connection:"

--AND YOU STOLE MY BIKE LIGHT!
--AND YOU WORE NO HELMET!
--AND YOU WORE NO PANTS!
--AND YOU STOLE MY HEART!




***Special Bicycle Curatorial Bonus Question***


When" curating" a porteur bike, your first priority should be to make absolutely sure:

--it is lugged
--it can be "portaged"
--it is wrapped in leather
--every component tells a story

97 comments:

Anonymous said...

first

Anonymous said...

boom!

Anonymous said...

podium sjh

rezado said...

Oh shit watch out for that dog.

rezado said...

I love fridan

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

mikeweb said...

Firday!!

Fierce Perineum said...

Fierce!

Fierce Panties. said...

L.E.S.

Are you still on Thursdays comments?

Anonymous said...

Thor!

Fierce Panties. said...

mikeweb

Fur-day? I shaved.

Anonymous said...

furriesday

Anonymous said...

in the groupetto

theshepherdsdog said...

"Spotted in the wild!" hahaha awsome

theshepherdsdog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rezado said...

Fuck hurling insults at idiots hurl rocks instead. They may bounce off but it will leave a mark.

WTYM

Tawny said...

Aged Port!

mikeweb said...

Fierce, could be Firday, as in the type of tree also.

Not exactly sure why...

CommieCanuck said...

What is the world coming to, first Stephen Colbert, then Levi yesterday, then the Pope today...time to wear my WRISTSTRONG band again.

CommieCanuck said...

I go 'commando' all the time,and my vulva has never been better.

streepo said...

I heard the pope was also going commando, to improve the health of his vulva

CommieCanuck said...

Anyone notice the interview with the podium girl from St. Louis at the TDF yesterday?

I'm starting the rumor that it's Frilly.

Fantastic ba-bas.

hillbilly said...

rezado!

i perfer firday

rezado said...

That was snob's typo.

db said...

I knew No. 3 wouldn't be Cavendish. No sprinter likes prolonged pain.

Astroluc said...

Leipheimer :/

frilly said...

Ce n'est pas moi. Tucked away safely at my desk like a good little worker bee.

mikeweb said...

Does Johan go commando when he drives the team Volvo?

Just wonderin'...

hillbilly said...

rez - i know, i was congratulating you on the win

streepo said...

The podium girl could be ant1. Her name IS Laura ANTOINE and he hasn't crossed the line here yet.

mikeweb said...

hillbilly: (Assuming it's not yours - jk), do you have any theories about the Dyno Lyric that has been "guarding the gate" so to speak at the Brkln end of the Manhattan br for somthing like 5 months now?

NYPD bait bike?
Received as unwanted gift?
Alien abduction?

displacedcalifornian said...

you can keep yer bagels

Anonymous said...

Betty Fri(e)dan Fun Quiz!

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. The fish, of course, goes commando. Otherwise it experiences The Problem That Has No Name.

Anonymous said...

if the combined total of your locks/cables is more than half the cost of your bike are they the centerpiece of your grouppo ?

broomie said...

The undersaddle flask cage is awesome!

displacedcalifornian said...

"bruise" colourway hahaha

hillbilly said...

hate to say it mikeweb, but no good theory, or at least none as good as those!

today i was just trying not to hit the guy with the "slow" sign and trying to figure out if he was specifically taunting me.

Anonymous said...

"and it took him a whole year to track down the parts"

You slay me snobby.

CommieCanuck said...

Back to the TDF, I think Phil Ligget and Tom Boonen broke up, Phil doesn't mention him any more.

Sad what weeks of diarrhea will do to a beautiful relationship.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Mikeweb,

I believe that belongs to a member of a construction crew that hops the fence there every morning on the way to their job site.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

your blog sucksss!!

Fierce Panties said...

RTMS,

According to wikipedia the original commandos did indeed go commando to save on soap.

I need this.
If I can get credit for question #1 then this will be the first quiz of the year that I did not fail.

rezado said...

...and she takes the checkered flag!

mikeweb said...

Right hillbilly! I forgot about that ominous contruction trailer at the Manhattan end and the reflective vesties standing in the middle of the path.

That whole mess doesn't look promising...

mikeweb said...

Snobby, that could be true also, but I've never seen the thing not chained up there.

Maybe it needs the full BSNYC treatment. An adoring photo essay...

Just without mayonaisse stains.

Anonymous said...

Re: the Atelier Sembellie bike, is this a good idea?

rezado said...

Did any one hear about the dog getting hit in yesterdays stage? They didnt show it on tv. I wonder if the dog died. It was supposedly a yorkshire terrier. I am sure it was no match for the cyclist unlike the labrador that was struck in another tour.

crimerider said...

ow my wrist! i mean fuck yoc ouch!

slappy said...

They showed the dog hit on the web stream. Looked like the red offical car struck it. Me thinks it didn't fair too well. Lots of fluids on the road.

Anonymous said...

Some cycling anger, with water bottle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4XxCZagAjk&NR=1

yogisurf said...

The underseat flask..what a great feature. I too would want to have a buzz before I arrive at the fake dive bar.

yogisurf said...

Checker board patterns...

hillbilly said...

damn, rough day in the peloton

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/freire-dean-shot-at-during-tour-stage

red neckerson said...

there are like two or three rich people in hazard that drive vulvas

CommieCanuck said...

Hillbilly...

Upshot: Oscar Freire and Julian Dean are the first ever recipients of Le Maillot Kevlar.

belmont sledgehammer said...

Ever notice how every single day there's a relatively early posting, usually in the late teens or early 20's, that winds up getting deleted by the author? Why is that? That's SO weird!!! Sometimes I think it's somebody who doesn't actually delete their post, but rather posts, "This comment has been deleted by the author" just to be all crazy & stuff.

I'm hungry. Gonna eat a cheeseburger, I think. Or maybe a nice ham sandwich. With pickles.

Anonymous said...

Re: Peloton shooting:

Where was Levi? Maybe he's had fucking enough and snapped...

Anonymous said...

This comment has been deleted by the author...

...just sayin'...

CommieCanuck said...

how does one even delete a comment?

I think it's the same guy who wears those longhorns and yellow helmet, and Texas lycra, running alongside the peloton on climbs. Who is this guy? Doesn't he have a job? How does he afford to go to all these races?

and what the fuck is this?

belmont sledgehammer said...

Wow -- I've always thought spoke cards and other decorative wheel accessories were about the stupidest thing I could think of, but Jake "the Snake" Roberts? I mean, that guy's just about the closest thing we've got to a true American hero. I really don't know what to think about that.

Rantwick said...

I went commando for the first time after eading your blog, and discovered I am missing any type of vulva... what am I supposed to do now?

Anonymous said...

sixty-second ! when did the race start ???

mikeweb said...

I don't even know why that KHS is locked up. That Jake "The Snake" rear wheel is enough to deter any thieves.

Except for Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. He'd turn that wheel into a pretzel.

Slappy said...

no way, is the dude on the sidewalk riding a SlingSHot! Awesome

Luck E. Seven said...

PASS!

Fierce, I walked out of the office at the same moment the quiz popped up. Damn work! Thanks for passing along the instructions from the team car though, since my radio was tuned to The Greaseman's lecture on hydraulics.



A

Surly Bastard said...

"...thickens like a masters racer's midriff..."

Hey, I resemble that remark ...

Bike Snob Hazard said...

From the comments this comment has been removed by the comment author of comments.

Or something like that. WTF.

jessica said...

adidas

Bryce said...

Hey snob,

Saw this interview and thot u should take a look if u havn't seen it yet.
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20090717/ARTICLES/907179985/1350?Title=Levi-s-crash-pulls-him-out-of-the-Tour-Armstrong-in-3rd-

Some kind of wierd situation, it looks like something happened on the bed between Johan and Levi that resulted in Levi's cast. Lance is there to moderate, maybe he is Levi's pimp, thot u would know best how to interpret the scene.

wine soaked lips said...

This is officially getting weird...
The guy with the facial tattoos was a childhood friend of mine (and yes Snob, he and I are both from Long Island) - we took tennis lessons together in third grade. Also, the founder of Republic Bike is an acquaintance of mine, but that's all I can say about that. I know how everybody (myself included) feels about those bikes.

Gone Commando said...

This underwear has been removed by the author

Anonymous said...

too awesome

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, was that you in the chicken suit on the side of the road to Bensancon Saturday?

velocodger said...

I went commando to write today- but all I have to show for it is this 'gap' comment, posted while I wait for inspiration.

RO.MA. said...

oh my gosh! you are hilarious!! Just found your blog today! will be a frequent reader for sure! :)

Strick said...

Question #1 is a trick. The woman in the picture is plainly wearing a thong so she's not commando, at least in my neck of the woods.

Anonymous said...

Fuck columbia
Fuck astana fuck garmin solo breakaway merckyx 69 style
Go george go

Anonymous said...

this you will enjoi it


http://www.monkeylectric.com/m132s_gallery.htm

Anonymous said...

Bette Betty Fri[e]dan would be proud of this:

http://failblog.org/2009/07/16/handlebar-grips-fail/

ken e. said...

reminder to frontal lobe. kill bill one, super drunkness,
and some chick punk rock band called civet add up to number one-ness!!!
thanks for posting.

ken e. said...

usual story too, i was sorry about levi...

ken e. said...

usual story too, i was sorry about levi...

ken e. said...

laughing, more kill bill one commentary...

fucking hills and the interweb.

laura said...

i'm a little sad about the republic bikes - i liked them until urban decided to start carrying them.

but i'd probably still buy one - not from urban - just because its less than a bianchi or cannondale, and hipsters will never get sick of obnoxious, colorful bikes.

plus im not forced to learn how to ride a fixed gear. i can stick with single speed...

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leroy said...

Controversy thickening like a master racer's midriff?

Hmmppfhh.

http://tinyurl.com/8yq55r

Hence the baggy jersey.

Kenneth said...

BAKFIETS EN MEER also picked up on the 'LEATHER X PORTEUR':

http://www.bakfiets-en-meer.nl/2009/07/13/unclear-on-the-concept/

justin said...

HA! Someone else noticed the Urban Outfitters/Republic shit

http://bicyclescansavetheworld.com/2009/07/somewhere-in-the-hawthorne-there-was-a-collective-hipster-gasp/

Anonymous said...

If you were one of the hipster manprincesses on the williamsburg bridge at 1:30 last night, pick up your fucking trash

CommieCanuck said...

Not that I didn't enjoy seeing Lance's wrinkly olde ass getting dropped yesterday, but someone really needs to check il contadoper's pee-pee. That guy's about as clean as Robert Downey Jr.

Good too see they replaced those stuffed lions on the podium with live St. Bernards. We should start that here. Winner gets a dachshund.

frilly said...

CC--according to Lance's twitter, they're checking it today.

streepo said...

I would not want to be the guy who screwed up Jens' tire change Saturday.

Lance's Twitter said...

I guess Levi's stingy with his juice hookups...

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