Today is Friday, and that means only two things: 1) it is time for my weekly mani-pedi (I save money by having it done at a dog grooming boutique); and 2) it's time for a quiz. As always, study the question, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you will be assured of your correctitude, and if you're wrong you'll see a fixter-in-training beginning a lifelong love affair with fixed-gear cycling.
Thanks for reading, good luck, and ride safe. And most importantly, always use an ANSI or Snell approved protective toddler and be sure to replace it in the event of a crash.
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) According to the New York Post, "Dangerous Bike Riders Run Wild With ________:"
--Impunity
--Machetes
--Sporks
2) What is this significance of this sign?
3) What is the significance of this seatpost?
--It's NJS
--It's kosher
--The owner of the Finlandia Cheese Bike has upgraded the stock seatpost to the Sliced Bacon model
--The owner of the Finlandia Cheese Bike has upgraded the stock seatpost to the Sliced Bacon model
4) At the Giro d'Italia, the best view is from the podium.
--True
--False
5) This electrically-assisted bicycle may be a sign of the coming Meh-pocalypse.
--True
--False
6) What is this guy doing?
--Injecting heroin
--Injecting CERA
--Practicing descending while on the toilet
--Foffing his Knog
7) What is this?*
--"New York City Urban Warfare Cro-Mag Training"
--"Baldwin, LI Suburban Altercation Crumbsucker Training"
--"Lower East Side Squatting While on Break from Sarah Lawrence Slapfight Vegan Peace Punk Training"
8) The above are:
--Pop cultural currency
--Images juxtaposed with the sources from which they were appropriated
--Just a few examples of Mike Giant's stunning creativity
--All of the above
***Special Optional Extra Credit Philosophical Essay Question***
The bicycle above, seen locked in New York City, features S&S couplers. As such, though the bicycle is locked, the front half could theoretically be stolen. In a city where people will even steal "Hipster Cysts," is this a legitimate concern? Can a thief find a use or a market for half a bicycle? And as S&S couplers become more common, is it possible the streets will one day be crawling with hot black market hybrids cobbled together from different halves of stolen bicycles like mixmatched pairs of socks?
106 comments:
oh snap
kapko
where is the donkey
So close, Levi on Vesuvius
Did Donkey get busted by the WADA vampires? I thought for sure he was coming around my wheel
Top ten!
I slice. I soar. I slay.
FUNK WHIZ
I love podium girrrllllzz...
A
Nice donkey punch, rezado.
Dropped by the break away sprint to the finish
In response to philosophical extra credit question: Yes, of course. The first wave of hipsters are just waiting for there allowance checks to clear so they can realize this fantastic new possibility.
i kick donkey ass.
I always click on the wrong answer link, just to see what it is like to get a question wrong.
i didn't fully appreciate
mike giants' artistic ability,
until this quiz.
but 80's? that's sooo 2/19/09.
maybe he cold try his hand at
colorways & all over logo prints,
since he's looking for a dated look.
The answer to the philosophical S&S coupler Bike/Theft conumbrum is "oh yeah, somebody will make a dogpile out of it."
Help! couldn't see the right answer to the appropriated pop culture question.
And - Brilliant quiz today snobby. Laughing ass off I am at every answer.
Also - I've found the most disturbing thing about using children for a crumple-bumpers is the squeak they make on impact. I assume it's because of their small lung capacity.
Snob, regarding the essay question absolutely cuz sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don't. Then you wouldn't have to decide.
people will steal any part of a bike, useful to them or not.
The best part about the kids riding up front is that they make great horn/bell as long as you keep them crying about something you should alert those around you.
I fell into the trap of reading the comments on Kyle Smith's "article". I hate it when I do that. Now I just hate EVERYBODY. Does that make me a hater? I sure hope not, I don't want to have to...
Trike Salmon I don't think I could bear to watch that impending carnage... Incredible
Pass!
Extra cred quest:
The cobbled together future for S&S equipped bikes is upon us, as evidenced in the very picture you posted for our consideration.
The front half appears to be the fore of a formerly racy whip, with it's zero rise stem, short reach brake, and spare-spoked, QR-hubbed, black-rimmed, conti-tired set up.
The ass end palps a silver Deep-Vee wannabe rim with high flange hub and some kinda Zebra-inspired tire. Sure, both frame sections are painted to match, but that thing is the first of many Frankenstein's monsters to come.
A
Bonus question quasi-answer:
Now Fixsters will be able to S&S quick-change their geometry instead of just changing their cockpit set-up.
Think of the possibilities: Track rear geometry with mountain bike front frame and fork.
And to attain maximum lateral stability with vertical compliance they can blend a real steel rear end with an aluminium stiff front end. Combining all of the downsides of each material.
The colourway possibilities are endless...
Holy shit, Bloodclot is turning 47.
Someone needs to investigate the anti-aging properties of being batshit fucking insane.
Essay answer: Stranger things have happened.
Re: that guy from the post who got hit by a bicycle in front of The Intrepid, there is no "jogging lane" there, but there is a bike lane. Could that be where he got hit? Maybe he should jog on the highway.
Dropped on Vesuvio
man, just missed the fofonov question. i need to go home and practice.
that KnogUmentary was the most perverse fetish bike porn I've seen in a while, I mean, they're just gloves,bags, & lights! What would these people be into if it wasn't urban fixies? Pedi-lingus? Rubber undies? Old J. Peterman Catalogs? That last scene takes it all the way, some extreme turtle watering going on there.
I appreciate you using the words Cro Mags and Cumbsuckers in one post. I had their albums on either side of a cassette way back in the NYC Hardcore days.
spencer
www.twowheelkarma.blogspot.com
Cro Mags -- Age of Quarrel is a delightful album.
I'm pretty sure that Cro-Mags dude was my WARK hook-up when I lived in the E-Vil 10 years ago.
The answer to the appropriated culture/Mike Giant question gave me some kinda apache server access error.
Actually, kind of fitting - a 'denial of access' error. Soon Prolly's site will give those to all new users.
that KnogUmentary is awesome I thought I had seen the guy with the beard before and it turns out that he is in a local(Australia) beer commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RqrdRqAr1Q
Hello...
I agree with you constantly.. and I thoroughly enjoy your blog...
But... That said... I visited NYC on a bike for the first time this past week and I salmoned the hell out of Manhattan. I gotta say, all those one way streets and the seeming total indifference of the police make the salmon route quite appealing.
...rock, run, roll s & s couplers & enjoy the 'cobbled collabo collection' from bsnyc/rtms...
..."you'll be palped"...
Donkey had to do work today.
I'll put my time in the saddle this weekend and be back Monday.
All you haters suck my donkey!!
I just posted a comment on the Daily news site (as Dousche Bigalow)
I think I spelled "Douche" wrong. Need to hire myself a helper monkey:
"If the intelligence level of your article is any hint, you were probably doing something idiotic when you were hit, like eating take-out blindfolded while listening to your self-help podcast.
I'm not saying that bikers never hit pedestrians, but I'm hesitant to take your hear-say at it's face value. Most bikers, are fairly respectful of their surroundings (even if they don't always obey the law), and you would know that if you ever took the opportunity to get on one that actually rolls instead of being bolted to the floor.
I've been riding for years, in this city and others. I've been lucky enough to only have been hit by a car twice. And I've never hit a pedestrian, although now that I know what you look like, it's going to take all my willpower not to "mow you down"."
donkey - just a coincidence that testers were here today, eh?
ryan - why? why oh why? was it that hard to go one more block and go the right way? do you enjoy it when you are riding and have to decide between car and douchebag salmon?
the police aren't always indifferent, it's worse, completely unpredictable. (unless you are ant1)
Ditto, hillbilly!
Argument number 31 for not riding the wrong way:
Cement truck driver is pulling out of a contruction site onto a one-way street going from his/her left to right. Most of the time he (or she) will only look left. If you are going the wrong way from the right, he/she will pull out in front off or on top of you.
Conclusion: don't be a cement head (literally), ride the right way!
Snob -
The apocalypse may be closer.
a coordinated shoe/bag/hat.
The concept appears to be that you change your SNEAKERS off the bike and store them the bag...why else would you ride with a bag than to carry your shoes when you walk?
AND does it come in bianchi pista green?
http://www.pedalconsumption.com/files/hypebeast_adidas_the_complete_ride_zeitfrei.html
Nice one Seany!
I did a similar thing yesterday with my bikers vs. red-lights rant on here - I pasted it into the comment form on the NYC DOT website.
Of course I received the auto-acknowledgement message, which is about the only reply I expect from any agency in NYC.
Mike Taiwanese megafactory:
You're one of them
You say you're my friend,
But you're one of them.
Sean:
Bikers? Really? *sigh*
I figured Mpls. is pretty bike friendly but we could use some of those anti-salmoning signs.
thanks mikeweb, let's do your PSA -
"don't get mixed up, go the right way"
What ever happened to journalistic integrity? I know the Post isn't the place ot look for that sort of thing, but damn! I wish my life could be spelled out in absolutes based on one, albeit painful, experience. I think the application of stereotypes is fun and usually funny, but c'mon. I guess all reporters are douche-bag assholes? Every stereotype has a kernel of truth, doesn't it?
im not sure thieves would recognize the couplers for what they are. mabye it's safe, but then again i imagine anything in ny thats not bolted to the ground will get stolen
And even then, they'd better be some pretty stout bolts...
SD, Yes, I did say bikers, haha, sorry!
But that is only because my usual cycling attire is a pair of black leather chaps with matching vest and no shirt. Sometimes I palp the stars & bars headband, sometimes just an eagle.
JOHN JOSEPH IS A FRED!!! I've truly seen it all.
mikeweb
Don't wanna be picky but the trucks, I guess you mean with the twirly bob on the back, carry concrete. I mean they carry cement as well but mixed up with aggregate and water. If you mean th mix-it-on-site ones then I'll just get my coat.
And would a squashed salmon be gravadlax?
Carry on.
The answer to the last question is yes.
Now, I will present it in essay form:
yyyeeeesssssss,yes yes yes yesly. Yes yes, yes yes yes yes yes; yes yes yessed yes. Yes, yes yes yes, Mario Cippolini.
Duly noted Wes!
Yes, I meant concrete, mixed with Salmon aggregate, of course.
BTW, I think I now know why the Salmon rolls at my local Sushi joint are so cheap now: as the weather has warmed up in NYC, there is a major glut.
...big daddy roth = pass...
...mike (not so) giant = fail...
Cheech - And send up some more caviar, some of that Belgian, two, no, better make that five pounds. This stuff done turned black, and smell kinda fishy.
i aint seen jolene posting lately but i seen lots of this antiqueers mamas feler posting so i thinks its the same person but if it aint then i apologize to jolene becos antiqueers mama is a dumshit commonist
almond joy's got nuts...mounds don't
I was never able to articulate why I wanted to be a pro, but seeing Menchov on the podium made me able to visualize it.
A shout out to BSNYC today in our blog: Team Two Wheel BlogYou know what I mean by "Rapha effeminate", right?
Rider 3
Dudes, come over to our blog, we're rockin' a friday quiz now...
RE: SS coupler thing. There is a black market for these things amongst framebuilders. I just browse Flikr and flog them there. Cut the tube and send them the joint, and they sort out the rest.
YES!!! KILTS!!
The S & S question offers the one practical use of top tube pads: Hiding your S & S couplers from thieves. I would bet this bike belongs to a bicycle advocate from Portland, probably in town to tour "summer streets" on a recon mission for rain city. I hope they return with the whole thing.
Deusche?
I can't help it, I can't wait any longer - oh my God, Kara Goucher is so fucking hot.
Looks like John Joseph just proved everything I said about not eating meat yesterday totally wrong.
Can I still join on as a vegetarian but get a pass on the bacon eating? I'll make sure it's organic. Oh, and I'm not cutting back on coffee or beer intake. I'm not naturally medicated like he is.
That writer guy for the post needs to make up his mind. First he says he hates cyclist, he even has cute little nicknames for groups he dislikes the most. Then he quotes some famous doctor who says 'There are only two kinds of male cyclists-those who are important and those who will be important'. The writer guy is a very confused man.
"In a city where people will even steal "Hipster Cysts,"
How about a bike parts warehouse where the silicon grippers are stolen right off of your earbuds?
Ugh. Slayed off. More time to rub my gap bike, I suppose.
Dear BSNYC,
Yes, I do believe that S&S couplers will lead to trouble... have you ever met a cyclist who had not, at one point in time, been forced to go on a ride with mismatched cycling socks?
yo I was in the c-suckers!
snob, you from baldwin?
Chuck,
Are you really Chuck from the Crumbsuckers? Not from Baldwin but have been to the Right Track Inn in Freeport. I hope Mike Giant doesn't start ripping off Sean Taggart next.
--BSNYC
Wes - did I just see you correct someone for mixing up (excuse the pun) concrete and cement as it pertains to trucks? Do you work in the industry or something?
Also, I had to look up Kara Goucher, but holy crap, she IS hot!
Re Bloodclot vid (thx _so_ much , just sent 2 several old NYHC pals):
Richard Simmons + HR = ?
Bikesnob,
Were you ever in a hardcore band? Whether you were or or not, did you attend hardcore shows often?
Rantwick
I did indeed temporarily work in the industry - my slump tests were absolutely average.
And Kara Goucher, some Anon has a liking for her and (s)he's disappeared at the moment so I was just filling in. (I think it's Snobby himself.)
I'm actually going to see Kara Goucher today for the 10 seconds it takes her to run past me.
KLIT KILT
***NEWSFLASH***
MANNY RAMIREZ TO RIDE TOUR DE FRANCE
Manny Ramirez bored during his suspension from MLB has decided to race in the famed Tour de France.
Manny is in training at the Tyler Hamilton Institute of Enhanced Enhancement located at 8 Mile High, Colorado. Manny's personal trainer Michael Rasmussen stated "having never ridden a bicycle I cannot believe how rapidly Manny has gotten himself to a competitive level in cycling."
For his part Manny stated "I'll be riding side saddle so I can keep an eye on those eyetalians. Their Giro's leader jersey is bright pink and they shave their legs. Catch my drift? But that Cippo guy is quite the hottie and if I were, errrr, what was I saying? Oh yeah and further more they all shave their legs. How girly can you get. I'll be doing up my leg hairs in either corn rows or mini dreds."
Floyd Landis division chief of water bottle supplements at THIofEE stated. Manny Who?
It appears Kyle Smith was jogging on the BICYCLE PATH by the Intrepid! Maybe he was salmon jogging with his buddy Rush.
The butted section of that downtube better be pretty damn long to get that coupler mounted so high up on the tube. It that baby ain't in the thick section of the tube it is a can opener waiting to happen. Maybe it is straight walled tubing. Here's hoping.
Interesting side note on the SS couplers final question. There's actually not possible way to lock the front end of the bike in question. It would take some effort to both take off the front wheel and then remove either the brake cables or just the handlebars and stem in order to abscond with the front half and fork. Whether or not it will get stolen is beyond me; I have heard of wheel skewers being stolen too, which is solely hazardous because the victim is often unaware. I think the only solution to this problem is to braze on a fashionable lock loop to the front triangle when having the aftermarket SS couplers added.
The speed of a proton accelerator is zero. The protons themselves move somewhat faster.
keep up the sarah lawrence jokes
just got out of there!
Seven sister schools: fall back for the rich kids too weak to get into dart mouth or measly brown
Bsnyc,
More references to tattoos equals more slayin.
The correct answer to any philosophical question is
Yes.
...i just smoked some salmon out on the bike path...
...clogged up my crack pipe...
There are any number of excuses for being BikeSnob, but there is no excuse whatsoever for being a Snobarian.
Are there any mediums posting on this site?
I need someone to channel Lonnie Donegan for me.
After extensive clinical trails held in my home forensic laboratory I have found that yes, indeed, your chewing gum does lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight!
I wouldn't put it past some fool to steal the front half, but I think you'd have a hard time finding a rear half of a frame to match up perfectly.
Until they start putting out mass produced lines of bikes like this, most of them will have geometries that make them incompatible with each other, even if the same brand/model od couplers are used.
NEWS FLASH:
5 man break, 3:50 ahead with 10 km to go.
Donkey isn't doing any work...
I'm closing the gap.
A
I used to love David Byrne, but his acting like a mouthpiece for NYC cyclists act is wearing thin with me....although I doubt this thought bothers him. DAMMIT, CLOSE THAT GAP!!!! DONKEY, WHERE'S DONKEY!
Donkey's wheel sucking on the break... I see Seany trying to hit him with snot rockets on the back... gap is down to 2:20...
wait, what was that...is that braying i hear??
agreed hillbilly. When I see Davie crossing the Manahattan Bridge on a 30 degree February morning at 7:40 am on his way to work, maybe he'll have more cred...
exactly!!
Donkey kick! there goes donkey on a solo flyer!
i'm going to do what I always do in this situation, worked well in the past, and that is....sit up. phew, well that was a successful race in my mind.
unwitting 100 and 101!
H street el Gato
Rob Roskopp graphic
Blockhead
Ratbones
Spitfire logo
"L" duck of Vallely. World
Powell Peralta Bones artwork
Dogtown
Coffee Break Neil Blender graphic
Real logo
Skull skates logo
Hello : )
Why is it that people (society generally) still pre-judge people with tats. girls especially?
I am a 26 year old F, have 10 tats, lots of which can't be seen on my everyday travels. 5 - 6 during the summer are pretty much constantly on display. I don't aim for notice and I have a loving boyfriend WITH NO TATTOOS .I get the impression that a majority of people believe that tattooed persons are blind, as we get stared at, even when we return a glance people carry on staring. When will society change?
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All those one way streets and the seeming total indifference of the police make the salmon route quite appealing.
Sheds Miami
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