The world of cycling is filled with ugliness and beauty; sense and nonsense; quality and crap. And rather than subject you to unadulterated crap, I figure the least I can do is try to make some of that crap edifying by presenting it to you in quiz form. As always, study the item, think, and choose your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see what hipsters dream.
Thanks as always for reading and ride safe this weekend. And if you run into any trouble, be sure to get naked.
1) For $600 you can own this time trial frame autographed by which celebrity cyclist?
2) This "vintage" frame features "hand laid images" from which illustrated children's classic?
--"Where the Wild Things Are"
--"The Cat in the Hat"
--"Winnie the Pooh"
--"The Road" by Cormac McCarthy
3) This bike, complete with TTMBL-actuated Campagnolo Delta brake and Mavic IO front wheel, belongs to the young man in the photo.
4) Which one of these people is professional cyclist Fabian Cancellara?
--The person on the left
--The person on the right
--Both are Fabian Cancellara
--Neither is Fabian Cancellara
5) A reader in Greensboro, NC spotted the above rim, which reads: "Steal me and I'll crack your skull open with a fire extinguisher." Why is this a poor theft deterrent?
--Fire extinguishers are heavy and unwieldy
--He'd be better off simply locking the wheel
--Theoretically, while the message protects the wheel, it leaves the rest of the bicycle vulnerable
--All of the above
6) A knuckle tattoo is worth eight letters, but a calf tattoo is worth a thousand words.
7) Silhouettes of triumphant cyclists emerging from people's buttocks are the new male tramp stamp.
8) What does the owner of this bike have to say about it?
--"Fuck this shit."
--"The colors came out awesome on this one. What a beauty!"
--"This bike is awesome if you're a British clown."
--"This bike is a Voltron of ugliness."
9) How does the owner of this brakeless bicycle with no foot retention stop?
--"Foot retention=pretention. I just do a footjam if things get hairy."
--He jams his ukulele in the spokes.
--He busts a "Jamaican skid."
--"I don't think about starting or stopping, I just do."
***Special extra credit essay question***
There are no wrong answers here and participation is optional. Credit will be given based on persuasiveness and style of argument.
This Pinarello was spotted by a reader in Tokyo. Bicycles and the manner in which they are locked can say a great deal about both their owners and the cultures in which they are found. Does this particular example speak of a culture of trust, or is the owner simply an idiot?