Friday, March 13, 2009

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

(Spotted in Manhattan)


The world of cycling is filled with ugliness and beauty; sense and nonsense; quality and crap. And rather than subject you to unadulterated crap, I figure the least I can do is try to make some of that crap edifying by presenting it to you in quiz form. As always, study the item, think, and choose your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see what hipsters dream.

Thanks as always for reading and ride safe this weekend. And if you run into any trouble, be sure to get naked.


--BSNYC/RTMS





1) For $600 you can own this time trial frame autographed by which celebrity cyclist?

--Carson Daly
--
Robin Williams
--
Lance Armstrong
--
Jake Gyllenhaal





2) This "vintage" frame features "hand laid images" from which illustrated children's classic?

--"Where the Wild Things Are"
--"The Cat in the Hat"
--
"Winnie the Pooh"
--
"The Road" by Cormac McCarthy




3) This bike, complete with TTMBL-actuated Campagnolo Delta brake and Mavic IO front wheel, belongs to the young man in the photo.

--True
--
False


4) Which one of these people is professional cyclist Fabian Cancellara?

--The person on the left
--
The person on the right
--
Both are Fabian Cancellara
--
Neither is Fabian Cancellara



5) A reader in Greensboro, NC spotted the above rim, which reads: "Steal me and I'll crack your skull open with a fire extinguisher." Why is this a poor theft deterrent?

--Fire extinguishers are heavy and unwieldy
--He'd be better off simply locking the wheel
--
Theoretically, while the message protects the wheel, it leaves the rest of the bicycle vulnerable
--All of the above


6) A knuckle tattoo is worth eight letters, but a calf tattoo is worth a thousand words.


--True
--
False


7) Silhouettes of triumphant cyclists emerging from people's buttocks are the new male tramp stamp.


--True
--
False




8) What does the owner of this bike have to say about it?

--"Fuck this shit."
--
"The colors came out awesome on this one. What a beauty!"
--"This bike is awesome if you're a British clown."
--
"This bike is a Voltron of ugliness."


9) How does the owner of this brakeless bicycle with no foot retention stop?

--"Foot retention=pretention. I just do a footjam if things get hairy."
--
He jams his ukulele in the spokes.
--
He busts a "Jamaican skid."
--
"I don't think about starting or stopping, I just do."



***Special extra credit essay question***

There are no wrong answers here and participation is optional. Credit will be given based on persuasiveness and style of argument.


This Pinarello was spotted by a reader in Tokyo. Bicycles and the manner in which they are locked can say a great deal about both their owners and the cultures in which they are found. Does this particular example speak of a culture of trust, or is the owner simply an idiot?

128 comments:

Altitude Training! said...

WOOOOOT

Fierce Panites USA said...

OMG

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

IVth?

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

4th!

Next in Line said...

Grovel Sukkas!

Anonymous said...

the "what hipsters dream video" is the WORST song ever.

Fierce Panties said...

podium back to back Fridays snobs

Anonymous said...

top ten

Anonymous said...

Tope Tin. BIATCH

Anonymous said...

10?

Anonymous said...

Bingo!

Anonymous said...

Essay: I think that it speaks to the Japanese culture in that no thief would want hock a bike with a name that they could not pronounce. Image the shame of asking how much you could get for this "Pinarerro". THE SHAME!!!

Anonymous said...

"If you'll right you'll know" Alright I'll write it.... Strunk and White where are you?

CommieCanuck said...

That last pic is just a prototype Pinarello Phone.

Watch out RTMS, your days of anonymity are numbered. 3-5 to be exact(ish).

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:16pm,

I may have to take the helper monkey off proofreading detail. It's back to cleaning chains for Vito...

--RTMS

Fierce Panties said...

correction:

Greetings fellow snobs,

I would like to gloat for a moment. I won back to back Friday podiums! Team Fierce Panties is just slayin' it on Fridays! (I did fail both respective quizzes. Am I just a dumb jock?)

Got to go now and rock/run/rub/slay.

clear plastic binder essayist said...

I don't know if idiot is too strong a word. He's just cavalier with his theft prevention practices.

Strayhorn said...

Uh, where, exactly, is that Pinarello and what size is it?

Just for curiosity's sake, you know.

Alex said...

I think the owner is an Idiot. There are alot of American Tourists around the world, and they will stoop to nothing, even shipping a stolen pinarello back to the states.

jake said...

You could say the rider was raised in a household of trust, which makes him seem caviler in his every day life. Or he could just be an inept dentist who has no concept of how other people cut locks and steal bikes, since he focuses so much on cutting and stealing peoples teeth.

libertyonbikes! said...

commie THAT'S AWESOME!!!
good luck.
being in NYC will you cover yourself in urine to throw your canadian scent?

I recommend ditching the flannel uniform of canada for an all over print hoody and brightly colorway'd sneaks!

Shram said...

I think it speaks to neither trust nor stupidity, just laziness, a quality that crosses all boundaries, national and metaphorical as well.

And, Fierce Panties didn't podium today, sorry to say, that was Fierce Panites.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

The threat written on the wheel is no doubt a reference to a highly disturbing scene in the French movie Irréversible. A man's skull is crushed by repeated blows with a fire extinguisher.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irr%C3%A9versible

panino said...

good enough.

the bike with basket and ukulele... is it a suicidal device?

Anonymous said...

Essay: Upon examination of the photo in detail, you can see that this Pinarello owner has removed his rear taillight, his front light, as well as his "unique fi’zi:k clip system" saddle pack.

One could argue then that he believes his fellow man will steal accessories off his bicycle given the opportunity, however, he believes strongly in their inability to break a piece of dental floss and a travel padlock, ergo he is an idiot.

Seanywonton said...

6 out of 9 my best yet!

The lock in question clearly states that the owner is a Yakuza and the thief, when apprehended, would have bamboo shoved under his fingernails, before being slowly fried in tempura batter.

I hate that band from the Fixie 101 video, but it's pretty cool that the chorus is "Satan, Satan, Satan"!

allez1961 said...

I believe the answer to the quiz essay is neither! Clearly, this bike is bigger than most Japanese folks can ride. The owner is clearly an ex-pat who knows this and simply uses the flimsy cable as a pretense of security and dares the small asians to just try and rub it!

Anonymous said...

good one jake

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Nona said...

Toow! Toow!

mono_vs_stereo said...

So, it looks like Japan is going to be my next vacation destination. The wife wants to go there anyway. Should I check my boltcutters in my baggage, or do they allow them in my carry-on?

J said...

The bike with the Mavic io on it fills me with a rage that I can not properly convey.

Jep Purdy said...

People have been quizzing me all week. I'm taking the day off.

Anonymous said...

Probably a little of both -- googling "bike theft japan" gets this as the first hit. Piece about a guy who gets his cheap bike ripped off by a drunk in Japan who misses his stop on the train and needs some kind of conveyance to get home. From the LA Times:

http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070402/REPOSITORY/704020307

Anonymous said...

hand-laid=Petalume

shmaltz herring said...

The owner is not an idiot. In Japanese, the word "Pinarello" means "steal me and I'll crack your skull open with a fire extinguisher."

Not Frilly said...

FYI, Sunday is Frilly's b-day, so give it up for our favorite flirt.

Maybe she'll surprise us with a new pic, or some, uh, cake.

KL

Anonymous said...

Clearly that is just a Shimano employee testing out their prototype electronic security system (as a Shimano employee it is very obvious why he would put Campy on his personal bike.)

Shimano has been working on this new electronic security system for years now to go with the new Electronic Dura Ace. The quick releases have been locked down electronically. That padlock is just the battery.

M_S said...

The owner of the Pinarello is displaying neither the trusting nature of Japanese society nor idiocy. Rather, they are making a profound statement about the transient nature of material possession. The phone cord (a symbol of communication) is there to remind the next owner of the bike that human interaction will always trump material wealth.

Chris said...

Only an idiot would like a bike up like that, regardless of how expensive. If he/she/it believed in the honor system the bike wouldn't be locked up at all. The only answer is moron.

Well, that or there is a car battery hooked up to the frame. Hmm, I guess that wouldn't work with carbon fiber, oh well....

Anonymous said...

The Pinarello is a knock-off, and actually the rider's commuting beater. Thus the lock is pretty much symbolic.

Anonymous said...

judging by the graffiti in the background, I suspect that the locked bike is in the ultra-ironic high end outdoor market in Japan, complete with faux street art and actors who pose as bike thieves who will steal your bike for a small fee, returning it later along with with a certificate of street-cred that can only come from getting your bike stolen?

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Pinarello-san just nipped in to the sushi bar after a lyric ride. He's no idiot, but neither is he perfectly trusting. He's watching everything in his helmet mirror.

Do I get points? Do I get a voucher for ikura?

Pierced Fanta said...

The "owner" of the Pinarello is simply trusting that the phone cord will "Keep the honest people honest" as my dad likes to say.

flaco said...

certainly looks like if somehow the owner is lucky enough to still have a Pin when he returns, it will be covered in birdshit

Sean said...

Essay: The guy's an idiot. Even if he does trust in society, the fact that he locks his bike to begin with demonstrates that the trust is not complete. This alone doesn't make him a complete moron but, in feeling the need to secure his possession, he uses a damn phone cord. Now I ask you, other than an idiot, who the hell locks their bike up with the lock from a child's suitcase and a piece of phone cord?

worm irks said...

my soul aches, seeing
this pinarello shackled
even so lamely

mildstallion said...

I have to correct you on #4, Cancellara clearly most resembles Ed Grimley.

http://mildstallion.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/well-played-velonews/

red neckerson said...

jest who the fuck is tonio veevaldee

Luck E. 7 said...

Full pass.

The Pin owner is not a complete idiot. He/she/it locked the bike in a revolting way, took the picture, and then rode home to email said image halfway around the world to Snob. Pretty good way to clock in on some BSNYC appearance cred, but he's far from blog podium status. His image came in dead last.

Happy birfday Frills!


A

Anonymous said...

Is the music from the fire extinguisher demo the same as from the oso bike add?

Amazing.

Anonymous said...

The owner of the Pinarello is trying to get his bike stolen because the Angliru is so awful and heavy. The reason it's named that is because it makes every highway overpass seem like it's the Angliru.

CommieCanuck said...

Dammit, if you are going to reference Sir Ed Grimley, do it right. This insults Canadians.

These comments are driving me mental, I must say.

Liberty, we have two plans of attack: one is the stealth mode of searching while upwind of the Snob, carefully camouflaged in khaki dockers trousers and white Nikes. Instead of urine, we are going high tech to blend in with a new bottle of "Banker's Flop Sweat". NYC just wreaks of this right now in the season.

Second approach is to hire a porn star to ride my Cervelo R3 around, that will drive him from the thickets.

Hami said...

If the bike wasnt made in one of the Giant or Pacific factories over there it is worth its weight in poo to the locals.

firstyearvelo said...

The answer to the essay question is clearly neither. I just came back from a 4.5 year tour in Japan, and the riders there are totally different than they are here. Imagine if nary a hipster turned out without their bike being completely color coordinated and anodized. They're the same way, but about road bikes. The most surprising thing to me is that it has clipless pedals. Most fully-Italian masterpieces are ridden by middle-aged men in sneakers with ratty backpacks. What I'm saying is that a campy-clad Pinarello just isn't that great in Japan. They're the 2-year-old Madone that you'd steal, but why bother?I know it's never seen cleaners or lube, and I've got a bike that's going to fall apart soon already.

tominator said...

Well, those are $700 wheels and a $200 saddle on a $1000 bike. You decide.

bgrone said...

The owner is either an idiot or, in this grungy cityscape, is using this small and defenseless bike as bait, like a goat tied to a pole in the jungle, to catch large and dangerous prey such as this: http://www.neowin.net/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t325294.html

bgrone said...

The owner is either an idiot or, in this grungy cityscape, is using this small and defenseless bike as bait, like a goat tied to a pole in the jungle, to catch large and dangerous prey such as this: http://www.neowin.net/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t325294.html

Udder said...

The Pinarello clearly belongs to a Shinto monk and was gifted to this priest like Colnago does for the pope.

Notice the custom austere, minimalistic, yin/yang-like black & white aesthetic and the twisting lock cord that symbolizes infinity and the hereafter.

The lock represents the secret of true bliss, inviting you to unchain your potential.

The spokes are sticks of incense used for mobile ceremonies (notice the missing ones from the rear wheel) and the white tires depict purity of the soul.

agent detroit said...

100%! it's been a while since i aced a test. as for the extra credit, it speaks of neither the culture, nor the owner. it speaks of everyone's inner dialog, the balance (or lack of) between right and wrong, good and evil, opportunity or trap. that and the question "are my nail clippers on my keychain?"

Anonymous said...

On the final essay - I would stipulate that Japan is in a constant state of catching up to American culture, and is about a decade behind. 10 years ago in the U.S., no one would bother locking up a road bike because no one would be dared seen stealing one - they just weren't cool enough to steal. Road bikes must just becoming somewhat interesting over there, thus necessitating the coil-cable and padlock combo.

In a bizarre twist, neon colours (shit, I've spelled "colour" the Canadian way and have exposed myself inappropriately...) have become hip again here, and have just become uncool in Japan.

CommieCanuck said...

if any of you have ever read William Gibson's "Mona Lisa Overdrive", you would recall the future prediction of a electric capacitor bicycle theft deterrent, in which the rider's energy is stored in a capacitor until the bike is disturbed, fatally electrocuting the bike thief.







Or, he's just and idiot.

streepo said...

I can't believe it. My first perfect score

CommieCanuck said...

an idiot.

I'm and idiot.

Steven said...

Pinarello: Front gd wheel is on backwards or maybe just the skewer is. BAH!

kale said...

The Pinarello is not made of steel - how can you steal what isn't real? I'm sure someone tried, but ultimately fell into a pit of despair contemplating the ephemeral nature of existence.

Anonymous said...

-Steve

the skewer is correct on the wheel, but the whole wheel is in backwards

tire labels tell all

Anonymous said...

There's this dude in my neighborhood who rides a Seven and I've never seen him going more than 5 mph.

Anonymous said...

The wheel is fine, the bicycle is backwards...

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:40-

That's 71.4% full power.

Il Bikeus Thieveryson said...

Ahhhh... Snob!

In regards to the Pina', it appears you may have stumbled upon a very noble and time honored fetish offered to depraved criminals like myself living abroad in Nippon.

The *Cabled Pina'* is the bike theivery equivalent of a woman offering herself to a man whilst her most chaste and pure bits are protected by the thinnest and most threadbare of dainty and delicate and fine silk lingerie. All Whilst gently tethered to roadside street furniture... with plastic kiddie handcuffs....

I'm sure Snob, that only you could imagine... what frustrations any one that that kind of sexual fetish might have. Just as American Women do not tether their bodies to street furniture while wearing little or no clothing at all.. neither do American bicycles offer themselves to a thief in such fashion.

This makes bike thievery a disgusting low art for those living in the cruel and ugly American Urban Jungles...

While expensive... paying the Japanese for the priviledge of satiating my depraved thieving fetish...... It is how shall I say....how I stay legitimate... and free and within the bounds of all that is legal....

It's not about the bike... it's about the pleasure of the take....

It is also an act of seppuku... The only way those partaking of the long forgotten Samurai way...may honorably dispose of a bike.

Unlike American Dentist who gets a gap bike... The secret Japanese cult of the Samurai Cyclist... must offer last years bicycle up as a sacrifice and then go on a barefooted pilgrimage up Mt. Fuji before obtaining a new one...

This fits perfectly together.... only a culture with Geisha... women in their 30's -40's dressing as 8yr olds... and drunk kaoroake singing business men drinking sake...could understand and profit...from one's own depravity w/o criminalizing it. Ahem ahem.

Kevinftmeyers said...

@ u fooking poseurs

Altitude Training! said...
WOOOOOT

March 13, 2009 12:02 PM


Fierce Panites USA said...
OMG

March 13, 2009 12:02 PM


Bike Snob Austin IV said...
IVth?

March 13, 2009 12:03 PM


Bike Snob Austin IV said...
4th!

March 13, 2009 12:03 PM


Next in Line said...
Grovel Sukkas!

March 13, 2009 12:03 PM


Anonymous said...
the "what hipsters dream video" is the WORST song ever.

March 13, 2009 12:04 PM


Fierce Panties said...
podium back to back Fridays snobs

March 13, 2009 12:05 PM


Anonymous said...
top ten

March 13, 2009 12:05 PM


Anonymous said...
Tope Tin. BIATCH

March 13, 2009 12:05 PM


Anonymous said...
10?

March 13, 2009 12:10 PM


By now ya'll should well know that the first post... is the first rider to attempt the breakaway... first to attempt to go up the road...

It's the first one to get to the END that wins... not the beginning you doomb fuks!

bikesgonewild said...

...there is great ironic beauty in this post which references the cross cultural aspects of the pinarello angliru in japan...

...as ridden in the vuelta a espana, the alto de el angliru in the spanich language translates to "this hill is so steep, it will make englishmen throw their bikes down in anger & stomp their feet like little girls"...

...now, interestingly enough, angliru in the japanese language translates to "touch this bike & honorable yakuza will flay your skin w/ a thousand red hot knives while you hang suspended upside down"...

...i can only say "thank you, google translator...

bikesgonewild said...

...& btw..."spanich" was a typo but in retrospect, i find that i like it, it works & i'm good w/ it so disregard this second message...

...just sayin'...

grog said...

As an unlocked bike is a gift for the first-served, this example of lock-job minimalism is a gift to those willing to help themselves. Clearly the water bottle was more valuable than the bike--it's already been stolen.

red neckerson said...

i aint complaining but this thread is purdy damm boring im heading to jolenes house if jolenes parents aint there ill take jolene if her parents are there ill take her mom

snuggie said...

kevin - you had me for a second, until i remembered that it is the reading of the post that is the race, so 1st is 1st...loser.

ant1 said...

Happy Birthday Frilly!

frilly said...

Thanks Antoine.

You too Kurt and A.

Anonymous said...

Fixie 101 video shows conversion with pieplate at 1:20

Toronto Cyclist said...

Answer: This is clearly part of a high-end bike sharing program. An American may be inclined to call this bike a socialist plot.

Nico said...

Bikesnob, on question 9 you messed up real bad man, that bike has a brake, and a real hip one at that. In the face of imminent danger, the fixie rider pulls the ukelele outta the coooler rack attached to the back rack, and plays a melody. The propagation of the sound creates disharmonics in the local air envronment, which slow the bike. Also, playing Stairway to Heaven on a Ukelele whilst riding a brakeless fixie is a far out trip and it doesn't matter if you got brakes or not, because when you reach this stage of hip the material world is pretty irrelevant.

Fabian Cancerella's Chamois Cream said...

The Japanese rider is more likely naive, rather than an idiot. Maybe he/she is sitting close by having a cup a tea?

Bluenoser said...

As I've posted to Commie.

Commie says...

I'll be standing on the sidewalk with my camera as Jim throws himself in front of every fixed gear cyclist he sees.

The elusive BSNYC is a cagey prey but Jim has faced worse.

-B

thejakesnakes said...

Essay:
Since there is a theft deterrent on the the bike, the owner does not trust the surrounding society. Considering the Pinarello is a low weight road/race bike, I'm suggesting the owner uses that lock during training rides as it too is lightweight and can comfortably fit in a jersey pocket.
This is a lot more lock than what most roadies carry with them during training.

Bluenoser said...

Tim Horton's Wild Kingdom,

Commiecanuck has made the dangerous journey to the wilds of NYC by means of Via Rail.

He is joined by his assistant Jim to catch and bring back to Canada the elusive BSNYC.

In order to do this he has hired two Bronx handlers with lassos while he places a Maple Treasure Dognut in a bike lane that Snob has been known to travel.

Jim has been instructed by Commie that when Snob throws his nose into the air at the sight of the dognut to surround him on the bikelane with SUV's while the Bronx handlers throw their lassos.

Next week... Two Bronx handlers maimed... SUV's wrecked and Tim Horton's pulls it's sponsorship...

Commie is stranded in NYC.

JonnyFunk said...

The first thing we need to ask ourselves is, "What do we know about this Pinarello rider from what we see in the picture?" Determining the answer to your question is a matter of deduction. One might think that the lock says it all but I wouldn't understate other red flags: the 50-60mm stem, the low saddle, the use of Topeak water bottle cages, Vittoria Rubinos for tires, the apparent lack of care for the bike as indicated by the rusty bb nuts. When you consider all of these things along with the fact that it's set next to something of a newspaper stand covered in graffiti and a mercedes we can come to certain conclusions (especially since the owner isn't here to defend herself--and yes, I said her).


First off, this is a girl. We can tell because of the us of the short stem. This lady most likely purchased the bike from a man who was a few inches taller than her and he talked her into it because hey, what's a few inches, right? So she rides it for a little while and then her back (and women-private-part) starts to hurt her from stretching out too far. She's also rocking back and forth on the saddle because it's too high. She takes it to the local shop and they tell her that the bike is too big (if their not tools) and she says that she's not going to get a new bike, whereupon the bike shop people sell her a very short nub for a stem and lower her saddle considerably. The fact that the bike is locked to a light post of sorts shouldn't come as much of a surprise. This bike obviously wasn't ridden to where it is in the picture--it was driven on the top of the Mercedes on the background.The lady was obviously running errands after an afternoon ride and didn't want to leave it on the top of her car where it might get stolen, so she "safely" secured to the light post. Now whether the locking job is indicative of culturally ingrained trust or stupidity is hard to tell for many reasons. Japanese people may trust people more in general (and particularly Italians--they were allies in WWII after all), but the Japanese are also very innovative and for all we know this seemingly un-intimidating lock could be very secure. There could be an electric current running through the entire frame (except for the carbon-seat-stays-for-comfort, of course) and were anyone to touch it without the biometric signature of the female owner they will experience Japanese technology in a way that will leave them sterile.


The fact that she's locked up next to the graffitied newspaper like stand and her choice of bottle cages, along with the Rubinos all makes sense. This bike is crap. It might say Pinarello on it, but a little internet browsing reveals that the original might have spent a little over $1,500 (Or whatever that is in Japanese currency). Well, it definitely wasn't worth it then, much less today. As far as I'm concerned, it belongs right where it is, all things considered.

Surly Bastard said...

The Essay Question:

The owner is not an idiot. He is just taking part in the Japanese custom of "take an honorable Pinarello, leave an honorable Pinarello." The flimsy little cord is only there to ensure that the Pinarello doesn't fall over and suffer a chip in it's crabon fibroid which would cause an immediate loss of face. I can't remember who would lose face, since I'm not Japanese, but I'm sure somebody would.

Except for that momentary lapse of manners at Pearl Harbor, the Japanese are a very wonderful and thoughtful people who have given the world many great things such as Samurai films, Sushi, Shimano electric shifting and sometimes, even a Pinarello for the taking.

broomie said...

Commie Canuck,

I do believe electronic bike security was also featured in Gibson's "Virtual Light", though not as fatally. The capacitors and to be disabled in order to release the brakes, (on a bike frame made from paper.

To answer the essay: I believe the photo portrays the Japanese sense of predestination. Just as Japanese criminals rarely put up a fight or flee when caught, if the bike is to be stolen, it will be stolen. The lock indicates the bike has not already been stolen.
On the other hand, the lock may be the beefiest lock available, after all this picture is from a country that has buildings made out of paper. In either case, the owner is neither an idiot or trusting.

Anonymous said...

Pie Plate on a fixie! It had to happen sometime...

See the zebra bike on the "what hipsters dream" video (at 0:45).

Anonymous said...

at first glance you would have to think the guy is an idiot. Then after looking a bit closer you can see it is parked next to a Mercedes so maybe he can be trusting. Then I think if there is a lot of money around there has to be people to steel things, but then I think maybe the Japanese culture is different. Then I think "are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own cup or his enemies. Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach or what he is given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known that I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." Then I think I am the idiot for even caring how anyone locks up their bike because it is not mine and I am surely not it the business of steeling bikes. Thanks for the entertainment.

Anonymous said...

A rivendell on craigslist?
I never would have thought it possible

http://newyork.craigslist.org/fct/bik/1067750955.html

TheTye said...

Answer: It actually speaks to hipster culture. Why? Because the lock is actually the super-new "Eco-chain" lock... made of hemp and too-tight jeans.
when you try to cut it, the smugness that emanates from it nauseates you until you give up and leave

Johnny Sprocket said...

You're all forgetting, it's Japan, the fixie, 'Pisto' capital of the world. There's nothing NJS on that bike, which makes it totally worthless.

MJ Klein said...

friend of mine had his Shimano locked up very well, and it couldn't be stolen. so, the would-be thief stomped the shit out of it.

libertyonbikes! said...

commie

look for the 'mega brows'!
look for the 'mega brows'!
now knowing he's being stalked.
he may try a variety of tricks.
including riding miss snobs bike
while toting a trash bag of empties and rapping the Beasties 'Brass Monkey". the bag containing high end wine bottles will be the tip off!

Anonymous said...

Essay Question.

It depends on who took the picture. If the photographer is a Tokyo resident, then there are probably enough people within Tokyo questioning the lock job (or smiling at it with a pair of cable cutters in hand) to warrant the person being an idiot.

If the photographer is a visitor, then perhaps we are viewing an example of cultural difference. Tokyo could be an oasis of respect for expensive looking foreign bikes, in which a thief would be hunted down and gutted for tarnishing his family's honor.

The need for a cable lock at all is because of untrustworthy American tourists.

Evan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...100 what ???...

bikesgonewild said...

...oh...100 comments !!!...damn, that's a shame i coulda left that for bluenoser...

bikesgonewild said...

...bsnyc/rtms asks this essay question, " Does this particular example speak of a culture of trust, or is the owner simply an idiot?

...to be serious for a moment, i'd like to say that it's not as simple as black & white...there are gray areas that need to be addressed...like the styling scallops on the tubess...& those grey zonda rims...

...other than that, not so much...

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob,

FUCK YOU! that song accompanying the fixie 101 video is the single most annoying, smarmy, indie rock crap I HAVE EVER HEARD. it is awful. it makes me want to be violent. seriously.
who said carson daly is a celebrity?
that last picture is an example of culture trust. Tokyo is very weird place... I wouldnt be surprised if that is maximum theft deterrent by their standards.
now never ever pick something as bad as fixie 101 again what with its crappy music, probably from Canada or Chapel Hill.
i am forced to go get my meds renewed...

Free Baller said...

The cable lock is not what it seems:

My great-grandfather personally witnessed the formation of that elegantly curled wisp of asian Kryptonite. Generations ago, that strand was fabricated by a legion of bacon monks in the Hokkaido region of Japan.

It is actually a filament of delicately woven helper-monkey pubic hair.

No Japanese thief worth his pointy hat would ever consider touching such a powerful totem.

The Pinarello owner is no idiot. Nor is he a trusting soul.

He is Kato.

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/222/258174-davis_super.jpg

Gnarles Darwin said...

The owner lives in his own culture of trust. Unfortunately the rest of the world does not.

Bluenoser said...

bikes,

happy to see you take the 100 and keep it in the canuck test team.

-B

bloody knufuckyoules said...

LONE WOLF

Lolo said...

aren't the Japanese the kings of Booby Traps? i'm almost certain that if one were to cut that lock a trap door would send the would be thief into a pit full of cobras (not the snakes but the enemies of G.I. Joe...their venom is more fierce)

leroy said...

Yeesh, the things you miss when you get distracted by work.

Now I know why I saw a guy on a Cervelo in Prospect Park dressed like Dudley Do-Right, wielding a cam-corder and humming The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python.

If only I'd kept up my reading. I might have made eye contact.

One other thing: happy birthday Frilly.

Anonymous said...

The owner, a Clint EastWood fan, is is laying-in-wait behind the silver car with a 57 magnum looking for someone to 'make his day'.

Anonymous said...

No one is going to steal that Pinarello unless they have the right shoes...duh

Anonymous said...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/1072474188.html

Andy Pandy said...

Frills , Has the postman delivered THE GOODS

frilly said...

Oh, thank you Leroy. I am completely stuffed from the birthday fete and the most wonderful cake ever. Amaretto with raspberry filling. Geez, major bike riding must be done this week!

AP, hafta ask what are 'THE GOODS'? Why does that make me a little nervous?

Andy Pandy said...

AC = da GOODS.

Memory must be fading and you have watched too many shock/ schlock movies

Anonymous said...

Essay:

Obviously the owner is neither. He is simply a Yakuza boss with nary a worry in the World whether or not his prized Pinarello gets stolen. Any thief competent enough to get through his security device had better well know who the owner is and flee in fear only to go home and commit Seppuku for the mere thought of stealing said bicycle.

The evidence is all there: graffiti and dirty streets indicate a dingy neighborhood whilst a Mercedes E class (in Japan nonetheless!) indicates some upper-tier shady goings on. Instead of driving his mid range European luxury car, Boss Hito rode his mid range European luxury bike (though in both cases he'd probably have been better off to stay domestic!) to whatever function he was up to that day.

Anonymous said...

Yakuza are just a bunch of Japanese tattooed hipster woosies!

innerlighter said...

100%!
I was out sick on Friday, and I didn't even bother to study over the weekend!


ha!

bikesgonewild said...

...have you ever noticed that by sunday night, the bsnyc friday fun quiz seems like a guest that stayed way too long ???...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Essay:
Its Obama's economic stimulus package for Tokyo's thriving 'urban hipster, bike thief woosie' scene.

subgenius333 said...

the 25th century japanese military has successfully transported a tachyonic vehicle ("zondatron") back to 21st century tokyo...you can tell because everything is monochrome black/white in the 25th century to match everyones' white jumpsuits

what you have mistaken as a "lock and cable" is actually an entrapped black hole. This black hole has been anchored to the column with a superstring (lock cable) constructed of dark matter to prevent the Zondatron from ricoceting prematurely back to to 25th century before the agent(s) of the 25th century can complete their mission

subgenius333 said...

oops! i misspelled "ricocheting"!!

Anonymous said...

Hip! Hip! Horray!

I got a 100% on the quiz. My first time. I'm sooooo proud of myself.

Anonymous said...

is that brit clown bike leaning up on art in a gallery?

crappy art is still art and leaning your bike on it is really fucking rude.

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