Wednesday, January 21, 2009

There's The Rub: Marketing Gone Amok Awry

As the epic war against effective braking on bicycles rages on, yet another crushing blow has been dealt to controlled stopping by the forces of unimpeded forward motion. I've just received a link from a reader to this bicycle, which as you can see features a Seat Stay Mounted Brake Lever (or SSMBL):


If you're constantly wearing a hole in the seat of your pants due to getting behind the saddle and stopping the rear wheel with your posterior (which in freestyle parlance is called an "assjam"), rejoice! Instead, you can now simply sit on your brake lever. However, according to the notes on this entry a wardrobe full of "assjam holes" was not the motivating factor behind the SSMBL setup. Instead, it was actually inspired by a ticket:



Notes:

I know it's not great, but I'm pretty happy with this bike.


Rattle-canned smoke grey and clear-coated in matte finish


I'm looking to buy these, used, at a good price...

-some 38cm Nitto B123AAs

-a nice black rear track hub (75-100 dollar-range)
-MKS chain tensioners

-black toshi doubles

-black san marco regal

-possibly a kashimax top tube protector
(PM if you have if you have any of these and wanna sell).

Also down the road I wanna add black sugino 75s and a thomson elite stem and seatpost. Also some day I might get it powdercoated this color, but probably not.


The ghetto-mounted break is because I got a 100 dollar ticket for not having one. I'd rather spend my next 100 dollars on new shit.


Well that makes sense. I suppose if he got a ticket for not having a light he'd pull the post and drop a few hipster cysts down the seat tube. That oughtta show "the Man." I'm not sure why he says the "break" is "ghetto-mounted" though. I've been to the ghetto (in a car of course, with the windows shut and the doors locked as I crouched beneath the dash and fervently prayed the Rosary) and I've never seen a setup like that. Or is that the new name for that part of the bike? I suppose the handlebars are the "suburbs," because only a woosie completely bereft of street cred would put a brake lever there. But it is totally street-credulous to put your crotch there:


In all sincerity, though, I am pleased to read that he is "pretty happy with this bike." After all, being happy is what it's all about. I am sad, however, that he's fallen victim to upgrade fever and wants to buy a bunch of "new shit." (Or, as Chari & Co. calls it, "new shits.") Why replace a perfectly good black track hub with a more expensive black track hub? Also, why put a Kashimax top tube protector on a bike that doesn't need one? In the interest of science, I've gone ahead and diagrammed the suburban region of the bike:

The green lines show the angle of the stem and the top tube. Notice there is actually potential for them to make contact--if the top tube and stem were both 40 feet long. The blue lines show the length of the stem relative to the current makeshift top tube protector's distance from the head tube, and based on this it would appear that the stem is as likely to make contact with the top tube protector as the average person is likely to make oral contact with his or her own genitals. (Please note I said average.)*

*Redacted: further diagramming proves Kashimax may be warranted!



Of course, it is possible that the rider rocks/runs a different bar/stem setup occasionally. For example, he may "run" a longer stem with drop bars for fast riding, and then "rock" a short stem with risers for "sessioning." (And no "session" is complete without a few crotch-in-the-burbs skids.) But still, my point is that if he's happy now there's no surer way to become unhappy than by chasing the "upgrade" dragon. The more you buy, the more you need. And there's no point in simply rebuilding your bike all over again only in more expensive form.

Then again, even I must admit that it can feel good to have nice things. And one way to appreciate having a nice bike is to ride a not-so-nice bike, like this singlespeed road bike from the secret website, forwarded by a reader:




Whether you want to put the joy back into your morning commute, you want to be a hipster and boost your “street cred”, or you just want to ride/rock a bike stripped down to its purist form, the Single Speed Road Bike has what it takes and does it in affordable style. Color: Frigate Grey. 27lbs.

On this post-inaugural day, I am really disappointed to see that Nashformance is not only continuing to crank out cheap urban bikes like some kind of fixie Easy-Bake Oven, but that it is also still mining this blog for copy. Not only that, but they couldn't even get the reference right--notice that they said "ride/rock" instead of "run/rock." I mean, everybody knows you never, ever "ride" a bicycle or component. You "rock" it, or you "run" it. Maybe you "slay" it, or in certain parts of the country I hear people sometimes even "rub" it. (As in "I'm totally rubbing a Tektro brake lever on my seat stay.") Frankly, I'd expect more attention to detail from a company able to build a 30lb singlespeed.

So to save both Nashformance and myself the trouble, I'm just going to go ahead and rewrite all their copy for them:




Original copy:

Finally its here, a 29er singlespeed from Bike Nashbar! Our design team chose burly, larger diameter 6061 Aluminum frame tubing to prevent the wicked harsh ride you get from most rigid singlspeed [sic] mountain bikes. We chose to design the frame to be suspension ready so if you can't take the hard knocks of a fully rigid ride, slap your favorite 9er suspension fork on and rip it. We also included a removable derailleur hanger for those of you who can't stomach just 1 gear. Both the fork and frame will accept disc brakes. Color: Vanilla Dune. 29.23lbs

How does "burly, larger diameter 6061 Aluminum frame tubing prevent the wicked harsh ride you get from most rigid singlspeed [sic] mountain bikes."? Isn't large-diameter aluminum tubing supposed to be more rigid than smaller diameter steel tubing? Granted, the type of tubing makes absolutely no difference in ride feel on a bike with 29"x2.1 tires, but even if it's not jarring to ride it certainly is jarring to read. I'd go with something like:

We've decided there's a market for 29ers, since people have been buying a lot of 29er tires and tubes from us. Also, our design team finally realized it's just as cheap to make a 29er singlespeed as it is to make any other type of singlespeed--especially if you use burly, larger diameter 6061 Aluminum frame tubing. The frame is suspension-ready and has a derailleur hanger, but if you can't handle a fully rigid singlespeed ride, you might as well just put on a dress. Instead, keep the bike as is and take it to the Singlespeed World Championships, where you also might as well put on a dress, but where it's cool to do so because it's ironic. Frame and fork also have disc tabs if you choose to rub dics [sic]. Color: Fleshy. 29.23lbs.


Original copy:

Get ready for the trails and rough city streets with the 21-speed Columbia Trailhead Disc mountain bike. Features 6-inch aluminum disc brakes for reliable stopping, precision Shimano RD-TX50-L rear and TZ30 front derailleurs, and Sram TRX shifters, RST 191-T6 front suspension fork provides a smoother ride over rough terrain as well as improved control with 80mm of travel. A lightweight 6061 alloy frame has replaceable hanger , disc mounts and fender mounts. Other features include a threadless stem with 25-degree rise, steel handlebar, comfortably padded anatomical saddle, lightweight alloy rims, and heavy duty wheels (26 by 2.1 inches).

Revision:

Thanks to Nashbar, you no longer have to go to Wal-Mart to find a 7-speed mountain bike! The Columbia Trailhead Disc is perfect for riding on the sidewalk, delivering Chinese food, or simply creating additional clutter in your garage. Features disc brakes so you don't have to ride around with your v-brakes unhooked, as well as SRAM TRX shifters, which contain all the letters of Shimano XTR at a fraction of the cost. Also includes RST suspension fork for additional weight, and a replaceable derailleur hanger so you can always not shift.





Original copy:

Representing the upper crust of cycling society, the CFR Elite flaunts a beautiful carbon frame and sophisticated components that’ll have you accelerating with speed, power and agility. Constructed with state-of-the-art Composite Bladder Molding and Aerospace Composite technologies, the carbon fiber chassis delivers a nearly “weightless” ride while remaining laterally stiff, vertically resilient and fast as all get out! And with the addition of Shimano’s smooth and effortless Ultegra drivetrain, the powerful climbing performance of FSA carbon cranks and the lightweight aerodynamics of Mavic’s Aksium wheelset, you’ll find yourself wondering how you ever rode without it!

Revision:

More than a bicycle, the Scattante CFR Elite is a feeling. A bike without compromise, it's like being able to go to the bathroom without taking off your pants. Laterally stiff and vertically ineffable, it climbs like it's on rails, floats through corners, and accelerates like a really fast cheese. Ultegra drivetrain is effortless, unless you do your own maintenance, in which case effort may be required. Also comes with Mavic's Aksium wheelset, which Mavic gives you free when you turn in your recalled R-Sys, so you know it's good. Will the CFR Elite enlarge your palmares? Just rub it and see!

Yes, with all this marketing it's no wonder everybody's defecting to the simpler, purer world of p-fars. However, even that's getting tainted by the "feculators":







High Wheel bicycle pennyfarthing - $1500 (Machesney Park)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2009-01-20, 12:46AM CST

Reproduction High Wheel bicycle 51" wheel. I have a 31.5" inseam and no trouble riding this machine. It is not perfect, but is rideable. I have rode it in parades and around the neighborhood. I rode it a few years back at the Calvin Challenge in Ohio to become a voting member of the Wheelmen org. One off copy of an 1879 Open Head Excelsior Duplex. Thanks for looking. MP is about an hour west of Chicago on the north side of Rockford, Illinois.

Any true p-far enthusiast knows that an essential part of the scene's camaraderie and authenticity is conducting business in period-correct, old-timey dollars. $1,500 in the late 1800s would be worth almost $40,000 today, and is simply inexcusable. Even though this one is actually a reproduction, the old-timey dollar rule should still apply. Also, riding in parades is actually frowned upon in the p-far community as it is seen as crass exhibitionism as well as a reinforcement of the popular notion that p-fars are simply curiosities and not suited to actual riding. In a way, parades are the p-far equivalent of Critical Mass.

Yes, p-far owners can be quite militant. I was shocked to receive the following photos from a reader, which as you can see depict a p-far armed with an automatic weapon and about to fire on a bunch of "safeties":


These photos were actually intended as submissions to The Great BSNYC/RTMS Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (presented by Boston Whaler Boats--the Unsinkable Legend) but unfortunately came well after the official deadline, which was December 31st:


These photos rattled me like a pair of testicles astride a boneshaker, though I confess I was amused to find a Scattante among the victims. I was also amused to find an actual cat in one of the photos:


Indeed, you can't spell Scattante without "cat"--which proves there's a little pussy in every one. (However, that's not going to keep me from rubbing my Scattante.)

124 comments:

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

podium

ant1 said...

nice, a double.

Luck E. said...

Don't mess with Frilly.


A

Anonymous said...

Yo mamma

Anonymous said...

yes!

Anonymous said...

all you suckers
hate my balls

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

Zig One rules

Anonymous said...

So What rules

Anonymous said...

Top 2o!

Anonymous said...

Nice view from here.

crispy said...

damn! missed top ten

ant1 said...

I hate to complain Snobby, but your lines on the bike look to be incorrect. The upper green line should be perpendicular to the headtube. I'm not sure it would change the validity of your point(s), however.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:10 said, "Yo Mamma"
dontcha meant Yo Yo Ma? And what have cellos got to do with it?

Re: Scattante. I always thought there was more scat than cat involved with those rigs. Perhaps it's cat scat?

Dr. Ewen Cameron said...

Ding!!!

stuggy said...

Stupid meeting. Totally missed top 10. Way to go, ant1st! Completely not ironic today!

streepo said...

Top something

Bill said...

way to go Ant1!!!! I was pullin for you, thought today might be the day, and nice style points with the double. that was one damn funny post. snob, i may have to print out your archival article on the ticket you got not long ago, as i have my court date tomorrow for running/rocking a red light.

smovlov said...

fuck!

Anonymous said...

Please excuse the Scattante. I did a brief stint at Performance Bikes a couple years back. For 70% off of their own brands i just had to.

Hopefully the brand new black SRAM rival groupo makes up for the frame...

The cat's name is slippers.

stuggy said...

OMFG, kill me now! "Frame and fork also have disc tabs if you choose to rub dics [sic]."

Yet another opportunity for me to fall out of my chair laughing, thus confirming my co-worker's suspicion, nay - certainty, that I am insane.

red neckerson said...

erverbody gives me shit about being a redneck but yesterday i was crying when i heard obombers speech because it reminded me of when i was a kid and my maw grabed my lucky strikes out of my hand and whooped me good and then tolt me that i didnt have to settle for no gas station feller or no waffle house waiter but i could be a assistant manager of the pro bass shop in pikeville if i worked real hard

i know it aint deep but i liked it so why dont you go fuck off

ant1 said...

Thanks guys. I've had today's race on my training calendar for a while. I structured my training to be in peak condition today. The team rode well today and made sure I was in the right position to be able to fight for the win. Considering all the work they did for me, I wasn't about to let them down. Tomorow's stage looks pretty tough, we'll see if we can defend the jersey.

Johnny Sprocket said...

1st and 2nd,... sounds suss! We demand a urine test.. and maybe a body cavity search while they're at it !

Anonymous said...

I just really like that someone sells a bike in a color pronounced friggit.

leroy said...

Sadly, I must disagree with the revised ad copy for the Scattante CFR Elite.

It's more than a bike AND more than a feeling.

Indeed, 70s mega-band Boston should be recruited for the jingle.

"It's more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
till I see my Scattante ridin' away
I see my Scattante ridin' away."

(Is it just me, or does the name "Scattante" seem like a play on the term "Ska Tante," which as every one knows is Yiddish for a maiden aunt who likes reggae.)

streepo said...

Today's snot rocket was inspired by "as well as SRAM TRX shifters, which contain all the letters of Shimano XTR at a fraction of the cost."

Commiecanuk said...

Going to the bathroom without taking off your pants.

This is the exact kind of technology that can bring the world out of this recession.

I'm sure the answer is a mix of nanotechnology and wind power.

Commiecanuk said...

Le Roy said...(Is it just me, or does the name "Scattante" seem like a play on the term "Ska Tante," which as every one knows is Yiddish for a maiden aunt who likes reggae.)

I though it was Scat-tante, latin for diarrhea.

ant1 said...

Johnny - Dr. Catlin and I are working on getting my blood values on the internet. I understand that past performances of mine have raised suspicions. I want to have a level of transparency and I don’t want to leave any hint of doubt. I will do what I am asked to do. It is Catlin’s work. He will do whatever he wants (concerning testing).

Lance A said...

34th!! but I'll still get more press than you bitches.

Anonymous said...

Good job, ant1.
Sponsors love double-placing.
Or is it place-showing?

BSNYC, I believe the top-tube protector (Kashi Roll Bar?) is there to make the new Nitto drop bars feel welcome, as if the bike anticipated their arrival and made preparations.


Sorry... can't stay all day.
I've got some break rub to fix.

Bear-shirt said...

I'm like an upgrade-aholic, only for crank(s).

leroy said...

Johnny Sprocket --

Ix-nay on the body cavity search.

You'll only encourage them.

Anonymous said...

Now that you've pointed out the plagarism, perhaps a Fixie will show up in the mail from the secret website people to keep the Courier company.

cyclist actually deserving attention said...

fucking lance

Lucky said...

I'm rubbing a cordless mouse right now... oh, wait that's my right hand... oh, and that's not a mouse!

kale said...

Damn unemployable English majors! Get a goddamn real job and stop writing for shitty bike companies.

Take a lesson from Magna, they're the real OGs in the shitbike industry, and they know their audience and how to be concise!

Excitor

* 26” size designed for men
* Red with silver and white accent colors
* Comes with cushion frame, 21-speed shifting and suspension forks


and

Gravel Blasters

* 12” size designed for boys 3-5 years old
* Red paint
* BMX style forks; comes with training wheels and handlebar pad


It's like advertising haiku.

SkidMarkPDX said...

Your analysis of the stem height/ top tube protector issue is faulty. The handlebar swings on the axis created by the (approximate) 74 degree head angle and depending upon the width of the handlebars the grip would likely smack the top tube. Draw a line perpendicular with the head angle at the height of the handlebar and it will intersect the top tube.

I guess you've never set up a bike with flat bars or you would know this.

Meh... said...

Scattante always sounded like something scatalogical to me. As in:

sca·tol·o·gy (sk-tl-j, sk-)
n. pl. sca·tol·o·gies
1. The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology.
2.
a. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.
b. The psychiatric study of such an obsession.
3. Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions.

Shram said...

34th? Nice try, Armstrong
...Armstrong finished 45th overall Wednesday, 13 seconds behind stage winner Allan Davis of Australia

Anonymous said...

this has probably been posted before, but penny farthings are not all period correct

http://www.evandalevillagefair.com/

Meh... said...

BTW, "Meh..." was the phrase ran/rocked by the old lady at the end of "Titanic" as she tossed the billion dollar diamond overboard...look it up!

libertyonbikes! said...

Yiddish for a ska loving maiden Aunt. Awesome!

Polygraf said...

A rosary?
I can't get Meadowlark Lemon, or the theme from hong kong phooey out of my head, or the rockford files.

I tend to suffer from powerful waves of word associations, Scattante always makes me think of Scatman Crothers who besides being stellar in the Shining, voiced Meadowlark Lemon on scooby and hong kong phooey among the many. As for the rockford files, the Pfarth is located near rockford, near James Garners office.

A moment for Scatman.

Bill said...

apparently the formation of ice made the removal of ice difficult, go figure

01/21/2009 09:47 AM
Advocacy Group Angered Over Icy Bike Lanes
By: NY1 News

A local bicycle advocacy group says the city is not doing a good job of clearing snow and ice off the bike lanes of the East River bridges.
Transportation Alternatives says the past few snowstorms have made bike paths on the Williamsburg, Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queensborough Bridges impassable.

The group says not having the lanes clear sends the wrong message to riders.

The Department of Transportation says keeping walkways and bike paths clear is a top priority and that the melting and re-freezing snow during recent storms complicated ice removal efforts.

Anonymous said...

ant1 wins today's astana award.

BikeSnobNYC said...

SkidMarkPDX,

My analysis is definitely faulty, though I still think the bars clear the top tube. Re-diagramming...

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

The p-far scene, coincidentally just west of Chicago, looks like a bike re-staging of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

kale said...

Bill-

The city hasn't responded to my blueprints for radiant heating underneath all city bike lanes. Even though the initial budget estimate is expected to be $1.32 billion - I think it's worth it.

Also, all that salt is no good on my larger diameter 6061 Aluminum frame tubing.

Commiecanuk said...

One can only wonder where a brake lever will be mounted next, we've seen the top tube, the down tube, the seatpost, and the seat tube. This only leaves crazy locations like the handlebar (as if), the headtube (working on it), and the penis (sorry ladies).

BikeSnobNYC said...

SkidMarkPDX,

OK, I think he may need that protector. I'm firing my technical consultant.

--BSNYC

PS: While I've set up plenty of flat-bar bikes, I never worried about top tube clearance.

Bill said...

i KNEW there was a reasonable option they weren't considering!!

Wes said...

Nice one Snobby - I do love a diagram. Anyone see this? At 59 seconds - "had a look between my legs and no-one there". Don't leave it there too long or you'll get all woozy. Obviously they don't get haters down under.

http://uk.truveo.com/Tour-Down-Under-2008-Stage-3/id/2523623056

Ralphy said...

I just mount my brake lever at home, and I have an industrial spool of cable as long as my commute. If I need to stop, I just call home and ask whoever's there to slam on the lever.

It is that necessary bit of safety for when I need it but it means I only use it when I have to, so it keeps me 'zen,' you know?

Ralphy said...

In this video you can see how close even a super high-rise and skinny bar can come to a top tube. (FF to 1:30 or so)

http://vimeo.com/2781965

Many of the people who look at a bike and say 'you don't need the protector' get it wrong. Bullhorns or a wide bar can be even worse because they point out so far, by the time you swing them around, *bam*

Of course, giant pads and everything else still look ridiculous, but it's not a geometry issue.

Anonymous said...

Check out this cool t-shirt.

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=ASP-PENNYFARTHING&Category_Code=ASP

Serviceburo said...

I think we all need to take a moment and look at the gun that P-Far is brandishing. That's obviously a chinese knock off of an AK47, which, I'm sorry, would simply not have been the preferred choice of weapon for your turn of the century Billyburg P-far enthusiast to sport while he was rocking/running his new merino wool knickers. What happened to our standards? The shame of it.

spartacus_phallus_maximus said...

"the lightweight aerodynamics of Mavic’s Aksium wheelset"

Well, more aero than the R-Sys. Sorry but that brings a smile to my face every time I see it written down.

Commiecanuk said...

Ralphy..genius.That saves precious weight. you should post on Weightweenies.

I'm working on the saddle-mounted lever. I figured out my ass isn't doing anything while riding, it's time to put it to work.

bikesgonewild said...

...props to ya, ant1 for another ant1st !!!...even though yer french (not that there 's anything wrong w/ that) yer willing to leave yer 'message in the bottle'...well, technically it's dr caitlin's bottle...

...& speaking of human waste, ted nugent comes to mind...ah, that's to say for his rock hit "cat scat fever"...

...& commiecanuk referenced bsnyc's quote...
"Going to the bathroom without taking off your pants."...by implying...
..."This is the exact kind of technology that can bring the world out of this recession."
...

...highly doubt it...recall greg lemonds 'explosive' account of the tour stage where, when suffering a bout of diarrhea, our dedicated cycling hero just 'let loose' & kept pedaling...
...what did it ultimately gain him ???...maybe a saved place in a tour stage but he became so enamored of the process that he still, to this day, 'lets loose' w/ his verbal diarrhea...

...anyway, just sayin' cuz i'm in a pissy mood & i'm having a shitty day...

frilly said...

Snobby, saying the rosary? What are you trying to do, give your mother a heart attack?

Next thing you know you're going to develop a subconscious attraction to plaid.

Jim said...

Frilly, Snob is only saying the rosary because he's a messianic Jew. Kind of like a lot of Hollywood types, only in a different sense of the term.

FWIW, which is not much, I'm impressed that NashBaR has the balls to sell their bike as "front suspension ready" without including the comment, "just like every other hardtail 29'er on the market.

But I'm even more impressed that they were able to get the weight of a rigid, single speed 29'er up to nearly 30 pounds. How the hell did they manage that? Lead ingots in the seatpost? Tires literally filled with Stan's?

Anonymous said...

You're confusing the rosary with your tefillin again snob.

Nobody likes an Irish Jew, too much self-loathing.

bk jimmy said...

This new diagram should settle the matter. I think you'll agree it's more accurate and much sexier.

http://jimmypics.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/kilo-diagram.jpg

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, your Lemond story reminded me of the single greatest bit of TV coverage I have ever witnessed in my 50 years on this rock. Back in the 7-11 days, when tour coverage was a weekly one-hour hilight show, there was a typical stage through the French countryside. A family was enjoying a roadside picnic as the peloton rolled by. An ill Bob Roll suddenly pulls to the side of the road, whips down his shorts, and craps right there in their grass, all not only caught on camera, but actually broadcast. I still have it on video somewhere in storage.

Ah, good times.

samh said...

> ...Frame and fork also have disc tabs if you choose to rub dics[sic]...

Hehe.

Kirk said...

Anonymous Serviceburo said...

I think we all need to take a moment and look at the gun that P-Far is brandishing. That's obviously a chinese knock off of an AK47, which, I'm sorry, would simply not have been the preferred choice of weapon for your turn of the century Billyburg P-far."
Em I the only reader of this thing who know anything about firearms. Sorry to correct you but I believe that to be a Romanian knock-off AK and for the record the chinese AK's are considered to be some of the better semiautomatic variants of the "AK-47 style" rifle. I do agree that a P-far would chose a period correct firearm say a Winchester Model 1897 shotgun, an AK no way.

Anonymous said...

http://www.velonews.com/article/86757/what-s-up-with-the-lettering-on-lance-armstrong-s-bike

FSU 2009

Fuck shit up 2009?

or is it a kuckle tat for a 3toed (fingered)sloth with an extra digit?

Serviceburo said...

Kirk -

I meant no offense to Chinese Kalashnikovs - which I would agree are among the best in the world. Now the Romanians, they just don't have any style.

Lucky said...

BKJimmy,

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Too much!

Kale said...

bkj-

umm... it's a Mavic front all of a sudden?

husker dukakis said...

this was a great post, very well written. i am sory i am the praising douchebag today, as opposed to the tattoos are an atrocity anonymous i usually am.

but, that guy "tea baggin' it in the suburbs" in the one photo... his clothes... why are the hipsters dressing like keebler elves nowadays? alas this isnt a fashion blog, but still...

those crappy one speeds that nashbar and others make... i would seriosly buy one if they were like 79.95 just to rock/run to the corner bodega on... i would guess cost for the whole thing is somewhere around 50 bucks, no? all taiwanese/china built? thats 30 dollars profit...

scooby dukakis said...

@ wishiwasmerckx

your ASSignment this week is to find that video and post it on youtube for us to "enjoy"

Anonymous said...

@ red neckerson:

dont you worry, obama is gonna get you a job directing traffic at a public works project, fixing them highways down south. and for every days work you will get a shiny copper coin...

Anonymous said...

That woosie on the gray fixer has his right foot is on the left pedal. Is this real?

marcj said...

the three of us left who like to shift gears wanna know what you got against Ultegra, snob.

Mackie said...

GO TO EROWID.COM ASAP!

is that a pic of a p far in the background? Whats the p far/psychadelic connection?

BikeSnobNYC said...

marcj,

Did I say anything bad about Ultegra?

--BSNYC

PS: Shifting, like brakes, is for "woosies."

BikeSnobNYC said...

Mackie,

May be something to do with
Bicycle Day
, though I don't think Hofmann rode a p-far.

--BSNYC

BikeSnobAustin IV said...

Fleshy.

kale said...

Snob 6:49-

You've been slacking on the throwback posts recently, but that one really had a chain reaction. I somehow ended up at the Big Hair Superfan website.

Thanks for the memories...

Anonymous said...

Commie's SIBL (seat-integrated brake lever) is genius. I have an old sprung Brooks that easily deflects sufficiently to actuate such a device. And unlike Ralphy's elegant scheme, the cable runs are short.

Todd Holland said...

A powerglove activated brake lever would gain some major gnar points -
If it ever worked...

Andy Pandy said...

The only add on I am lacking on my beast is the Plutonium depleted Craybon valve caps. Anyone here have a set lying around , PM me if you do. Will pay top dollars.

Frills, bear is in bondage as it behaved badly during the run into the red kite on the last stage and took a piss in front of the sprint pack and lit up a Marlboro to taunt a certain competitor

Commiecanuk said...

Todd..Powergloves is so 80's.
This century requires big ideas: Oakley Sunglasses mounted brake levers.

bk jimmy said...

umm... it's a Mavic front all of a sudden?

When you find the elusive velospace fixie page with no component changes, you let me know, Cap'n Ahab!

Rubbin said...

Can I use rub to quantify? "Those rims are rubbing!"

Or is it exclusively an action? "Bro was rubbing new pixelated camo deep vees!"

There was a time when any rub related to a bike was bad. Now there's a good kind called rubbin'.

God forbid, if the pad ever rubs the rim, can I say, "the pad is sessioning the rim?"

Andy Pandy said...

So do we assume taht Leonard Zinn will be standing in the un-employed line and Pez-Tech will be getting yet another paycheck

Anonymous said...

http://graphjam.com/2008/10/28/song-chart-memes-first-in-the-comments/

moonshiner said...

y'all fucked up, ride sometimes in the slop wit no brakes it sucks, mpls gonna hook ya wit da....
stupor bowl jan 30-31

Anonymous said...

its a norinco chinese ak

Anonymous said...

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/bik/1002269655.html

Kirk said...

"Anonymous said...

its a norinco chinese ak"
Sorry, the wood looked like a few Romanian's I've seen. It still should have been something more period correct.

Anonymous said...

why would anyone ride a piece of shit p-far? or even contemplate bringing the abominations back into production! The insurance companies should get the names of anyone who owns one of these piles so they don't have to pay for any injuries consistent with these pile of crap excuses for transportation

bricoleur said...

careful what you say, anon 1:10.

be seeing you.

Kirk said...

Who is number one?

bikesgonewild said...

...the real deal...

...http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff242/arne_petrosian/AK47.jpg...

...considering that military versions of the ak-47 have (A)- have been manufactured for 62 years & (B)- have been & are being manufactured in at least 20 different countries & considering there are umpteen different versions of working replicas that are designed to fire real bullets, bb's, paint balls & electronic beams plus numerous nonworking replicas of arguably the most famous assault rifle in history, i find it interesting that you gentlemen have decided that you can specify exactly which version of the weapon it is from a grainy on-line foto...

...just sayin'...

Kirk said...

And you can't tell 94 ultegra from 96 based on a grainy photo....
Just sayin' back at ya'

bikesgonewild said...

...& wishiwasmerckx...

...exactly why ??? scooby dukakis et moi think that we need to see that undoubtedly embarrassing bobke video, i just couldn't tell you but yep, it's incumbent upon you to research those files...

...hadn't even heard about that one...

bikesgonewild said...

...sorry, kirk...re :- ultegra 94'96...personally i couldn't give a rat's patootie but that's only because i'm a campagnolo kinda guy...

Kirk said...

Well you kind of see my point, you have a hobby you notice details. Jeepers I could ramble on but I gotta work in the morning.

Anonymous said...

"*Redacted: further diagramming proves Kashimax may be warranted!"

-on a Mercier frame?

IRIDEOVERPRICEDBIKES said...

Love the revised copy. You should make this a regular segment.

bk jimmy said...

bricoleur / Kirk,

By the way, R.I.P., Number 6.

Not only did he have a thing for P-Fars, but it turns out he was originally a native of Astoria.

Anonymous said...

I say again. Its a Norinco Chinese made Ak.

I say that becasue its my picture. During the ban the ak was imported with a thumbhole stock so you are correct the stock on there now is probbably built to Romanian specs. You can tell from the full horizontal cut where the stock meets the reciever. That is also how you can tell the AK is a norinco; the Norincos taper inward at the bottom of the reciever.

There are plenty of American wood suppliers however that make new stock sets for many weapons. Any wood could be the original or could just as easily came from a website like this: http://www.ironwooddesigns.com/

And yeah, not nearly as period correct as the top hat.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 12:18pm...

...no problem...i acquiesce, as you do indeed know what yer talking about...

...& yer undoubtedly on the ball enough to understand why & from whence i spoke...

Anonymous said...

http://www.bobkestrut.com/images/barcelona1973.jpg

the guy with the AFRO is a member of the MC5

Anonymous said...

if you've been a mechanic in a shit town none of these bike descriptions are ironic/unexpected. it's all a regular day's repair schedule full of people who's license was suspended for drunk driving & still need to get to shit jobs.
hooray recession.

Pelletman said...

I'm not sure where you got the idea that ordinary (penny farthing is a british term) riders look down upon riders in parades, I am captain of the Wheelmen in MA and we ride in all sorts of parades. The Wheelmen around the country do also.

kissouyin said...

Weekends to peopleig2tmean that they can have a two-day wowgold4europe good rest. For example, people gameusdcan go out to enjoy themselves or get meinwowgoldtogether with relatives and friends to talk with each storeingameother or watch interesting video tapes with the speebiewhole family.
Everyone spends agamegoldweekends in his ownmmoflyway. Within two days,some people can relax themselves by listening to music, reading novels,or watchingogeworld films. Others perhaps are more active by playing basketball,wimming ormmorpgvipdancing. Different people have different gamesavorrelaxations.
I often spend weekends withoggsalemy family or my friends. Sometimes my parents take me on a visit to their old friends. Sometimesgamersell I go to the library to study or borrow some books tommovirtexgain much knowledge. I also go to see various exhibition to broadenrpg tradermy vision. An excursion to seashore or mountain resorts is my favorite way of spending weekends. Weekends are always enjoyable for me.
igxe swagvaultoforu wowgold-usaignmax wowgoldlivebrogame thsaleGoldRockU

Bruce said...

Today,we are proud to announce the launch of the new wedding support service sell ffxi gil,packed with features sure to sell ffxi gils delight adventurers across Vana'diel looking to exchange eternal vows with their beloved!Responding to player demands for greater customization,the new service will grant brides and grooms freedom in choosing location,timing,dialogue,and sell Final Fantasy XI Gil more for their ceremony,allowing them to create a truly memorable event all their own.Information on all the features,including in-game sell ffxi gil item vendors and wedding certificates,can be found on the new wedding support site,so head on over sell ffxi gils and get started planning the wedding of your dreams sell Final Fantasy XIGil!

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

[url=http://italtubi.com/levitra/ ]vendita levitra [/url] luMi dispiace, ma, a mio parere, si fanno errori. Cerchiamo di discutere di questo. compra levitra opchaauecl [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]la viagra[/url]

Anonymous said...

Bravo, ciГІ che la corretta parole ..., una grande idea [url=http://lacasadicavour.com/ ]comprare cialis generico [/url]Quali grandi parole acquisto cialis Penso che fare errori. Sono in grado di provarlo. Scrivere a me in PM, discuterne.

Anonymous said...

Cool story you got here. I'd like to read more about that matter. Thanx for sharing this info.

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

Anonymous said...

Pretty cool place you've got here. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Avril Kuree

Anonymous said...

Vince fail :D

Eugenia
houselet insurance

Anonymous said...

woen stripping free movie ebony for free male bondage free meet rich sugar daddies free private free strip poker games free free adult chat line free adult strip blackjack albuquerque adult

Anonymous said...

Thanks mate... just dropped by. Will look for BIKE STN when we get to Seattle. Still in Buenos Airies.
xanax

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi