Friday, January 16, 2009

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!



In yesterday's post, I referred to the weather in New York as "crappy." And of course, whenever New York cyclists complain about the weather, three things inevitably happen:

1) People in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, and other obscure states feel compelled to point out how much worse their own weather is and proceed to tell apocryphal tales of being forced to scrape the ice off their frozen Surly Pugsly drivetrains with their beards;

2) People in Florida, California, and other fantasy states feel compelled to point out how much more pleasant their weather is, which goes without saying because snowstorms cannot occur in cultural vacuums;

3) Vicious anti-tattoo rants will inexplicably appear.

Let it be known that I defer to the Wisconsinites', Michiganders', and Minnesotatives' ability to withstand both severe cold and crushing boredom; and rest assured I am also duly jealous of the Californians (though less so of the Floridians). Believe me, I'd move to California after lunch if I could. Sadly, I'm hopelessly mired in mundanities here. Also, I would hate to contaminate their fragile ecosystem with my toxicity.

So, as a token of my dissatisfaction, I am administering a quiz. As always, consider the question and click on your answer. If you're right, it will be obvious. If you're wrong, you will feel the wrath of the Evil Bike Messenger.

Many thanks as always for reading. If it's cold where you ride, stay warm. If it's warm where you ride, stay cool. And if you ride a recumbent, stay a safe distance from me. Also, please note I won't be posting on Monday the 19th in observance of MLK Day, but I will return on Tuesday the 20th with regular updates.

Ride safe,


--BSNYC/RTMS




1) This "Missed Connection" is probably fake because:

--Fixters never admit they can't stop their brakeless bikes
--Fixters never ride fast enough to have trouble stopping their brakeless bikes
--Ethiopian Yirgacheffe is sooo 2008. For '09 it's all about Sanka and No-Doz
--All of the above



2) What kind of hub comes on this Craigslist special?

--Surly
--Swirly
--Shirley
--Surely



3) According to the seller, this setup is:

--Fierce
--Tight
--Hot
--"The Cheese"




4) What is a "double flat situation"?

--Flatting twice on a single ride
--An out-and-back time trial on a perfectly flat road
--When a pair geese simultaneously knock out both engines of a passenger jet
--An off-key duet




5) This is my Ironic Orange Julius Bike:

--True
--False










6) The above images are:

--Examples of "more money than sense"
--From a website called "Hot Cars With Douchebikes"
--Stills from the new "Cannonball Run" remake
--Ironic because each bike has a sticker on it reading "One Less Smarm"







8) This person is auctioning his:

--Scabs
--Singlespeed 29er
--Street cred
--Rock Racing contract, signed by Michael Ball




9) This USPS-themed bike is:

--Lance Armstrong's old winter trainer
--The latest incarnation of my Scattante Empire State Courier
--About to get mailed to a Craigslist buyer
--A nice companion to the Finlandia Swiss Cheese bike

177 comments:

Anonymous said...

huzzah.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Podium! Awesome! First European finisher!

Anonymous said...

Top 3 podium

leroy said...

Isn't the answer to Question 9 "all of the above"?

ALgoat said...

word!

Anonymous said...

did it

Anonymous said...

woo

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

ryan said...

top ten second time this week!

Mutt said...

Top podium dog?

brien said...

While still ridiculous, that first Ferrari is actually a kit car. Likely a Fiero with a new fiberglass body.

Berserker said...

I was just about to head to the mall for some street cred, but now I can just shop it on EBay. That's fierce.

Mutt said...

What's fierce is that seat tilt that goes with those Cinelli track bars. Who needs a brake when you can slide off your seat onto the front wheel to stop?

Anonymous said...

Ironic top 20! WOOT WOOT

innerlighter said...

Top 20!
Eat that Casey Kasem!

Anonymous said...

alright alanis morrisette, aka, anon 12:30, there is nothing ironic about that.

innerlighter said...

Snob,
What with being from an "obscure State, and now residing in a "fantasy State", I must say I feel both blessed, and humbled that you defer to AND are jealous of me.


meh.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Critical Ass said...

Ethiopian Yirgacheffe ???

Is that like
Jenkem???

Anonymous said...

Florida, South Florida in particular, is where evil people go to breed and did and hipster fixed riders join Thriller Crew... sad.

Anonymous said...

Correction...Florida, South Florida in particular, is where evil people go to breed and die and hipster fixed riders join Thriller Crew... sad.

ant1 said...

Wow, I aced that shit. It's gonna be a good weekend (except for the 9 degree weather forecast for my camping trip).

GenghisKhan said...

Podium!!! Uh, just wanted to see how it felt to say it. I must admit, it leaves me a bit empty inside...

Anonymous said...

snowstorms cannot occur in cultural vacuums

So Alaska is the exception that proves the rule?

Anonymous said...

snowstorms cannot occur in cultural vacuums

So Alaska is the exception that proves the rule?

No, Sarah, it's not.

used to be cool said...

Maturity kills hipsters is worth repeating. Have a nice weekend Bikesnob.

Bill Ayers said...

Please, please keep telling everyone how miserable the weather is where you are, it's just sooo interesting. Like nobody has weather underground or weatherchannel or weather obsessed or even TV or radio or newspapers. So we don't know that its cold in January in Minnesota or temperate in Tennessee or torrid in Texas. How cold was it in Embarrass, MN so morning, by the way.

ant1 said...

The inuit people have a long history and an interesting culture.

Anonymous said...

Innerlighter, do you really want "meh." to be your permanent signoff?

Have you thought of using "and boom goes the dynamite" instead?

leroy said...

Why Mr. Ayers, every day is chilly in Bare Ass, MN.

Honestly, what a silly question.

Critical Ass said...

I see the pink Pista (priced about $200 more than a new flat-bar Pista) has a Denver Track Shack sticker. That's a new shop that specializes in fixies and you can check out one of their "sessions" by scrolling down the home page. I think this is the bike culture "patriarchy" Denverites can avoid by attending Super Power Inclusion Night at the Derailer Collective.

Mr. Bad Influence said...

Glad to see Alanis Morrisette's name coming up from time to time. It gives me the impetus to reflect on my part in her era of degeneracy. Ironic, isn't it?

Cool The Kid said...

The Ferrari F40 w/the roof rack really blows my mind...

You can't drive that car to get groceries, let alone down Flatbush Av. to Prospect Park...

Luck E. said...

All you haters suck this PhD's tattooed nuts.


Dr. A

mattoidbunko said...

It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)

Brendan said...

What is the Evil Bike Messenger from?

red neckerson said...

anyone putting down my kiss my texass tattoo on my ass or my harley davidson tattos is itching for a fight and we gots all weekend to gets yor ass kicked

thegock said...

TOP Fity!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The owners of the three exotic cars must be homosexual("Not that there is anything wrong with that!")and they probably have tattoos which means they must of used family money, sold drugs, or stumbled into the music scene in order to earn enough money to buy those cars

Russ said...

What kind of bike is that on top of the F-40? I can't tell.

kale said...

The Evil Bike Messenger video is a horrible perpetration of the sterotype that all police dress in the trappings of motorcycle-cops.

Please note: not all policemen wear helmets in their cruisers.

Harumph!

broomie said...

Snob, I'm not going to brag about the weather here, but you are quite welcome to stay with us here in California. We have a spare room and and extra hook in our grarage. Your brand of toxicity would make a nice complement to the pervasive hostility of Californians.

kale said...

I knowwho's selling those fierce TTT bars!

Stand up guy.

carlos said...

saw a recumbent with yellow deep V's the other day. Is this another sign of the end of days?

the quiz was fun too.

Russ said...

The best thing about that postal bike is, if you find it unlocked you can just drop it in the nearest mailbox.

Anonymous said...

I know the previouse owner of the pista in denver... it wasn't so ugly then. although at one point it had matching pink grips and looked much like a barbie bike.

Sea Sick said...

@ red neckerson:

doubt it. my sailor tats will drown you in irony.

bike prissy said...

that guy, the one with the frost on his face, is just stupid. public transportation is not so bad for a couple of days. it will embolden your love for bike riding too...

i bet that guy thinks he has the right to wear some tough guy tattoos based on that photo. he prolly gots a chainring stain on his right inner calve.

Anonymous said...

Weather woosies make me wanna puke!

roomservicetaco said...

"Correction...Florida, South Florida in particular, is where evil people go to breed and die and hipster fixed riders join Thriller Crew... sad."

Curious what you mean by this?

I'm in Miami via Boston. My impression is that there is actually a very small fixed community here, despite an actual velodrome nearby. Of those that do ride fixed, some are hipsters, but many are roadies who take advantage of the weather and flat roads that are ideal for fg riding.

Some small alley cat events starting to bubble up but very few tattoos or attitudes - just guys enjoying the ride. [lot of female roadies and tri riders, but not many fg as yet]

Anonymous said...

@ bike prissy:

Although that person's backdrop appears to be that of an urban setting, not all of us have access to public transportation. I have been in his predicament a few times.

Anonymous said...

thanks roomservicetaco for report from the hub, or beantown, or whatever, but i am curious why the weather makes it ideal for fixed gear riding. i lived in JP for a while, and found boston to be a terrible town to bike in, hopefully it's gotten better

Anonymous said...

oops, scratch that roomservice, i can't read for shit. sorry

Anonymous said...

velodromes are for woosies.

innerlighter said...

anon 1:04.

Yes, I do, but only in a post-ironic, anti-deconstructionist, hyper-modern way.



...and Mental already has "Oysh"

So without further ado,

meh.

Commiecanuk said...

innerlighter..try the folowing signoffs:

booyah!

Sweet sassy molassy!

I have left the building!

free of charge!

Martin Van Nostrand said...

roomservicetaco said...

I'm in Miami via Boston.


Oh, that's just sad. Anything looks good after Boston.

bk jimmy said...

Commie, if he doesn't want it, can I have "Sweet Sassy Molassy!"? I'm in Brooklyn via upstate, and that reminds me of home.

Commiecanuk said...

@prissy...I think instead of 'embolden', you meant 'enbiggen'.

I don't get it either, we have those guys around here, they either wear shorts 365/yr, or they look like that in -20 weather.

My only guess is that they are secretly just sci-fi geeks who want to look like Darth Vadar all day. Every now and then, one gets knocked into a snow bank by a plow and thaws out in the spring, pissed off they missed all those new episodes of 'Battlestar Galactica'.

Morgan said...

Watch out for broomie's offer: while the weather may be nice in California, the lack of weather-related commuting indignity causes an imbalance that Jerry Brown rectified in 1978 by requiring 10% of Californian cyclists to ride recumbents, chosen by lottery.

Bill said...

that's true, boston is the great embiggener

Bill said...

oh, and sweet sassy molassy is mine.

Mental Yentl said...

Since no one else would want "oysh" anyway, it's mine.

And I like the way inner says "meh".

All you haters suck my matzoballs.

roomservicetaco said...

Martin Van Nostrand said... said...

roomservicetaco said...

I'm in Miami via Boston.

Oh, that's just sad. Anything looks good after Boston.


Why all the hate? Not everyone can live in Portland, though we can all aspire to live in San Diego.

roomservicetaco said...

"thanks roomservicetaco for report from the hub, or beantown, or whatever, but i am curious why the weather makes it ideal for fixed gear riding. i lived in JP for a while, and found boston to be a terrible town to bike in, hopefully it's gotten better"

I liked riding in Boston too. If you live in the city, bikes are great for transportation and urban riding but you're only 15 mi or so from country roads. My reg Sat ride would head through Dover past actual llama farms (pens?) before heading back to urine-soaked Fenway and environs.

Guess as long as it's on 2 wheels, I can be happy no matter where. Ride on.

Anonymous said...

It's good to see that Dustin Nguyen is still getting work.

~~Picco~~

Anonymous said...

are not bikes fun to ride?

Eric said...

Minnesota, we're fucking crazier then you think

stuggy said...

Dammit, I only missed the one auctioning his street cred. Why did I pick 29er? You never bitch about 29ers!

Fred Zeppelin said...

brien, That F40 is the real deal.

"Bring me your finest meats and cheeses!"

bk jimmy said...

Get in line, Billy-come-lately.

Sweet sassy molassy!

P.S. I signed off with it first, so at the very least I get squatters rights.

grog said...

I live in a state of abscure fantasy.

This is my vicious anti-tattoo rant which inexplicably appears, but I like a nice buttock butterfly.

kale said...

Roomservicetaco-

Only a Floridian from Boston would like Portland and San Diego. As the old saying goes - "If there's no grass on the field - play in the mud."

Please move to Portland, drive around in your Forester, shop at New Seasons, and then schlep around NW and The Pearl in your Vanilla kit to show how DTE people from the rest of the country can be before you move to Seattle because your wife has been complaining about the job market. You can tell everyone in Seattle that you're from Portland and they'll accept you, begrudgingly, but you'll end up talking about how great the city is for cycling, blah blah blah. You'll go to some Mariners games, root for the Huskies, then you'll realize that Starbucks is actually not that bad. Finally, you'll take a trip up to Vancouver - repeat...

Anonymous said...

Frankly I really like that there's the huge migration from the Northern Midwest to places as "exotic" and "happening" as NYC/Portland/Seattle and the like. Helps seperate us Kibbbles from them Bits and simultaneously keeps our streets relatively newb fixster hipster free. Heck, the Pistadex is so low here you MIGHT be able to buy an ear of corn with one!

RM said...

Kale

Sounds like you speak from experience.

Bitter.

RM

bikesgonewild said...

...i agree w/ fred zeppelin...that appears to be a real f-40...

...i'm thinkin' if you can afford that particular ferrari (oh, about $750,000 & up, if you can find one), you can afford a second "bike car" but hey, when ya like ta primp & preen 24/7, then ya drive the "prancing horse" w/ a roof rack...

...& technically the owner gets more street cred props for rocking a roof rack than the guy w/ the cervelo'd lambo' gallardo which only sports a 'strap-on'...

...of course, the roof rack & the bike really screws up yer "drag co-efficient" but hey, who's counting if you "look marvelous"...& btw, r.i.p. richardo...

frilly said...

Kale--Sounds like you need to start your triathlon a little early today.

Anonymous said...

Why don't those Super Cars have some brand loyalty and rock/run a Ferrari, or Lamborghini (w/ spittoon) bike.

Major Cul-de-sac cred with that.

kale said...

Frilly, RM-

I get like that when I take the train. Sorry, I think I made a bad choice.

I'm a weather woosie.

Anonymous said...

Hey that's a high class spitoon.

Anonymous said...

I hate tattoos and spittoons - anything with multiple t's are a no-no in my book.

Feh!

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 4:26pm...

..."Why don't those Super Cars have some brand loyalty and rock/run a Ferrari, or Lamborghini (w/ spittoon) bike.

Major Cul-de-sac cred with that."
...

...no doubt, sir...the colnago/ferrari collabo is regularly featured these days but ***ta-da***...big props on the archival sleuthing & bringing the titanium lamborghini back to life...i'd totally forgotten about that one...

...awesome work...

innerlighter said...

RTMS,
I'll give you the cultural vacuum bit, but at least CA doesn't suffer from the rampant "Dilvering" you seem plagued with in Manhattan.


meh....ur,

...and boom goes the dynamite?

Bill said...

bk jimmy, alright it's yours, but only because a) you are right and clearly had it first, and b) because billy-come lately made me laugh, much needed because I, like Kale, get this way when forced to take the train. i hate the train.

booyah

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:38:

Guess that would rule out "lottery".

red neckerson said...

no state that elected al franken to anything much less the senate is worth a shit

i hope yor pee freezes inyor bladders and you gots to take an ice pck to jab it out

the pubic libarian lady just yelled at jimmy bob for laffing cause he thot it was funny and this is my last post for awhile cause were getting ready to be thrown out and they sure cant take a joke

Anonymous said...

i hope yor pee freezes inyor bladders and you gots to take an ice pck to jab it out

what? I don't know what you said, but it just made me reminisce about chlamydia.

goldenlikeashower said...

what the hell does meh stand for? that is dumb.

my elk hunts?

ELKH UNTS

douchebags.

Anonymous said...

Bill..you can have SSM after Bk's done playing with it.

Don't make me come back there.

Shram said...

careful red neckerson, bringing up politics and knowing what's going on may spoil your fake redneck identity.

ALLRIGHT, 3 B'S TRIATHLON STARTS SOON!!! WOOHOO.

@goldenlikeashower:
I think meh is some Hebrew thing, like oysh.

--boom shackalacka.

Anonymous said...

DONT COME TO SEATTLE IT RAINS AND IS DARK ANS FERNS GROE ON YOUR CAR AND THE SALMON MAKES YOUGAY

The Orange State said...

All you Florida haters suck my peninsula.

Caaah said...

lol @ hi-c juice boxes

dmitri fofonov said...

Am taking moment of rest on my cycling trip along Trans-Siberian railway to raise awareness of perfectly safe and should be legal dietary substances to enhance performance and harden erections. Addition of hippie lights are to be saving my ass from trains at night and for this am expressing large thanks.

Is great perplexation if I am saying that you complain so bitterly fo what for me is balmy weather. Our term for such people is гооский.

J.S. Uptadait said...

This fixed gear shit. . . when those assholes get older they'll have real odd, rare, foreign dogs, like those ditzy Papillons. And then they can explain the history of the breed to every innocent dope that they meet while they're out walking the damn thing. "Where have you been, Jacob?" "Christ, I met this guy down at the park with a weird little dog. Like an idiot I asked him about it and it took an hour to get away!" Same crap with the bikes. And if the "fixies" are so great, how about those hand drills they used before electricity? Maybe slide rules. Forget that fancy coffee maker, brew it in a pot. Let's go for a little comprehensive integrity.

Gnarles Darwin said...

"Believe me, I'd move to California after lunch if I could. Sadly, I'm hopelessly mired in mundanities here. Also, I would hate to contaminate their fragile ecosystem with my toxicity."

Besides it would be really hard to get used to saying "Bike Snob Orange County"

stendhalian said...

Of course the evil messenger is from Vancouver.

Gnarles Darwin said...

Red Neckerson. Actually its a three day weekend, so please pace yourself.

goldenlikeashower said...

yeah, Seattle suck balls. DO NOT COME HERE. Everything is horrible ... music, coffee, women, art, biking, surfing, it's horrendous. Besides, it's a level-entry city. Move to Brooklyn. It's way cooler than Seattle.

And Shram, thanks for the clarification. I had no idea. Wiki says it's "not caring." Kind of like insouciant I am guessing. But if you don't care, why the fuck are you even posting? I mean, if you really didn't care you'd just sleep all day and let the world crumble around you. Right!?

roomservicetaco said...

Kale,

I mentioned Portland more as what the 'bike community' has deemed to be cycling utopia (doesn't it win "Best Bike City" every year?) than any personal experience there. I've only flown in and out of Portland to ride Cycle Oregon and that was about 8 yrs ago.

San Diego, on the other hand, is a great place to ride. Not sure if you consider it the grass or the mud, but let's play ball.

Gnarles Darwin said...

Take your PHD and move to Portland, ride you bike to your neighborhood New Seasons fill out an application, cause there aint no jobs there to be had there no how.

goldenlikeashower said...

PDX- don't forget to troll at Stumptown for the chicks.... they won't talk to you but.... Well, maybe with a PhD, but it better be art related or literature related. If your jobless though, forget it. Don't shop at New Season, stick to WINCO ; )

Anonymous said...

Golden,

I like "My Elk Hunts" better.

I especially like saying it out loud again and again.

Anonymous said...

Vicious? When deriding the evil nature of tattoos there's no such thing as vicious!

Mr. Couch (cooch) said...

Potrland is only a bike utopia because nobody has enough money to drive cars and only crazy methophiles from Gresham take the MAX. You try living on 18$/hr with a PhD and owning anything more expensive than a Surly.

t'ain't happin'n!

Matt said...

I live in Minnesota. When I ride in the cold I look sorta like that guy in the picture. Last February I went to damp cycling Mecca Portland for the North American Handjob Bicycle Show. Took my winter bike on the Amtrak, studs and all. That Sunday out there they had their Worst Day of the Year Ride. A couple of thousand people riding in the dead of winter to show how tough they are. It was 50 degrees F (283 degrees Kelvin) and sunny. The salt my tears mixed with the the crust on my bicycle frame. Then I got back on the Amtrak and came home.

Philip Williamson said...

I'd like to encourage more posters to assume fake regional identities and post in dialect.
It would really speed up my comments-reading time, since I skip all of the faux-ethnic (fethnic) ones.
And yes, "Redneck" is an ethnicity.

leroy said...

Matt -- you may be mistaken.

You currently reside in Minnesota.

In January, one can't really say that any thing one does in Minnesota is living.

It's closer to cryonics.

Now excuse me, it's so cold here, I'm going to get some flame tattoos.

But before I do that, I have to remember what to tell the haters to do.

Southern Fried said...

P.W.
I swear to God we're from Texas, it is in no way a fake region. If you could see the view from my porch, my neighbor has a bumper sicker that reads "Don't Tax Me Bro." I just couldn't make that up. There's nothing like that in NYC (don't make me say Ain't.) And I would be happy to offer further proof with some of my maternal grandmother's country wisdom or batter fried colloquialisms, but I can't let my roots show like that. All I have to give is my country cred so here it is coming to you on a Lazy Susan: I am finishing my 266th day in solidarity with the Gaudy Olde Southern Fried Bicycle and Revolver Convention's official boycott of Mellow Johnny's or as we (or rather I) call it Jello-Monies.

Don't make me say "Y'all" please.

Anonymous said...

I called my tattoo hating road biking friends to see if they are up for a 50-60 mile ride. Weather should be around 45-50 deg. at 7am and by 1pm it should get to around 68-70 deg. That should make for a good riding day eh?

Matt said...

Leroy, for God's sake, don't tell those haters to lick your balls, this time of year their tongues will freeze to them. Just hope the paramedics dislodge those haters before the television cameras show up!

red neckerson said...

when were at the pubic libary poaching the computers we look at other stuff beside fuck pictures and nascar standings and joe bob is one of them high schoool gradiates who tells us when libral yankees is going to take all our guns away so i stands by my al franken comment and you can suck my balls in fact i gots suck these tattood on my balls and im telling you it took lots of wild turkey to gets that done and by the way fuck you

Anonymous said...

bikes with gears are fun

Anonymous said...

ponder the idea of that US Air Pilot having some lame ass tattoo for a second. Since most lame tattoo wearers don't have the same thing on each arm or keep things symmetrical. I'd say the lack of tattoos on this Pilots body enabled him to keep the wings level, thereby avoiding flipping the plane and loosing passengers...just pondering, that's all!

Anonymous said...

at anon 5:56

it is possible the pilot did have tattoos, and in his case they may be ok. dude was a flyboy in the air force. flew for 40 years. proll had tats...and they were the real mccoy. wings and shit...

not some dork on a track bike riding around in some neo-messenger outfit.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Anon 5:56 --

I have a pilot's license. But I'm not saying whether I also have a tattoo.

Some years ago, I took off from Teeterboro to ferry a small plane to Vermont.

A little bit north of the George Washington Bridge, I had a mechanical problem and received an emergency clearance back to Teeterboro. (Kind of embarrassing; the clearance was "take any runway you want." I landed during an air show with a fire truck shadowing me from a taxi way.)

I remember scanning the ground on the ride back and thinking that there really isn't a good place to put a plane down in an emergency around here. This just isn't a place you want to test your gliding skills.

Frankly, that U.S. Air pilot could have fully inked sleeves under his uniform or a fleece as white as snow.

Either way, that was one very impressive piece of flying.

But if he's a cyclist, someone should warn him about riding on the north end of the West Side Highway bike path. That's where the Canadian geese hang out.

And I can tell you from more recent, personal experience, they hold grudges.

(And of course I agree with you completely that you shouldn't be "loosing" passengers in a hard landing. That's the time you want to make sure the lap belts are tight.)

Anonymous said...

has bike market collapsed?

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/bik/988638629.html


ufortunately, i only fat albert chump change on me or i would buy it...

Capt. Sullenberger said...

BORN 2FLY

Anonymous said...

'Puberty kills Hipsters'

Sigurd L. said...

Thanks for an entertaining and educational blog, bikesnob. I admire your hardiness in the face of so much irony and silliness. Steel yourself for this, though:

http://www.bacchettablog.com/buzz/single-speed-giro-“fixie”#comments

John said...

@red neckerson:
That's more like it. Fuck you too!

@Sigurd L.:
Shudder.

@Anyone in Colorado:
Has anyone checked out the new velodrome in Boulder yet? They loan you a track bike, probably so they don't have to take the time to turn away the countless douchebags on their fixie conversions (like mine), claiming they're real track bikes.

bikesgonewild said...

...not sayin' who told me but i heard red neckerson borrowed ricky's baby boa constrictor & used it for pleasuring himself...

Andy Pandy said...

Hey Red, I would like to buy you a ticket on the big flying silver bird so you can go over the big lake and come to Aussie Land and meet my ex wife. I think you and her and a case of Bourbon would be the most complete relationship since adam and eve.

PS Lance mid pack in Adelaide crit. ZZZZZZZzzzzzz and media are wetting them self and dribbling on every word

fred g sanford said...

@red neckerson:

who taught you to spell? prison?

stay away from my hubcaps when i go to ft. lauderdale....

Ben said...

yes. you were doing a find search for king. you found fucking talking but no martin luther.

you sid\respectful mother fuckers.

the begining of the end happend today bsnyc. start eating your toenails.

ben

Anonymous said...

how's life in the 300's on fith avenue?

bikesgonewild said...

...sheesh, great story, leroy...glad you made it or we'd be bereft of 'x' amount of humorous input here...i hope you stepped out of the cabin w/ a confident smile & bowed deeply to the crowd...

...agree on the captain's ability during that short flight...could of been a major disaster in such a highly populated area & w/ no juice, that plane probably glides "like a rock"...

...'west side' ex-pat canada geese have an attitude & an agenda 'cuz zabar's deli sells 'goose liver pate'..."he may have been french, dammit but he was my brother !!!"...

Ben said...

not 362? no. bsnyc don't buy subway on W35th, ever.

Anonymous said...

I just got me a tattoo of a Rohloff hub.

It took up my whole body.

Woosies!

Ben said...

and some of us really did get snowed in.

http://hjulcompaniet.com/www/images/stuff/DSC_7371.jpg

BEN said...

http://hjulcompaniet.com/images/stuff/DSC_7371.jpg

Anonymous said...

For all the derision I have played up on "Hate'n them body deforming tattoo's"...its not so much the tattoo it more about the "Vanity" issue. Sure, a person could wear his shirt inside out or kick around with his/her underwear(discolored/soiled) completely exposed...but why? and that is the nexus of why tattoos(the type uncomfortable to keep out of view) are the sign of anti-social character. Tattoos that are traditional look good because they are at parallel to like of sight when interacting with people...I definitely have the muscle for showing of a nice shoulder or bicep tattoo...but how do you know your skin is clean when a tattoo looks like a grease stain???

frilly said...

AP, they only showed 30 minutes of Lance's return on Versus & that was plenty.

Hooking up Red with your ex? Genius.

leroy said...

Wasn't there a movie called "Ben"?

And didn't Michael Jackson do the title song?

I think it went something like:

Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(A friend)
Like Ben
(Like Ben)
Like Ben

I don't know what made me just think of that.

bikesgonewild said...

...ben there, done that...

Anonymous said...

http://www.pigdump.com/images/gentle.jpg

Anonymous said...

Top 150!! (I was off Friday)

SKADOOSH!!

Udder said...

The picture of the rider from Minnesota looks like Tom Cruise in "Mission Impossible" winter gear.

Luck E. said...

Anon 10:45-

Glad you clarified on the "tattoo hatin" vs. "vanity hatin" in your recent correspondence. Indeed, vanity is so obnoxious.

It's sorta like posting 30+ comments about hating tattoos on a cycling blog for a week and a half when you have no ink of your own, no idea who you are writing to, and no clue of what you are writing about. It is amazing that you could be so clueless and yet so persistent.

Congratulations! You're the new iTOTM, the first of 2009!! You share the honor of gracing these hallowed pages with some of the most accomplished iTOTMs of the early 21st Century.

Believe me when I say that the appropriateness of your vanity disdain could not be more obvious, alas, even ironic.

Irony Ante? Up it.


Dr. A

Cognorant said...

Luck E.

Well said!

Critical Ass said...

65 degrees in Denver today....which epic ride should I do??

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:38, Your life must be empty indeed w/o butter, spaghetti,buttocks, and t*tt*es. Btw, do you live in Manhattan?

Commiecanuk said...

It looks like BSNYC's comments are consistently reaching over 140 a day. This is a dramatic increase over a few months ago. From a graph, I calculate that BSNYC will soon out-pace the Fox nuws ratings.

Thus, I expect stunning 3D graphics and much more haircare products on the Snob.

I suspect he may be Presidential Press Secretary timber.

Cognorant said...

Commiecanuk:

I believe your statistics may be skewed by the misguided interloper from ihatetattoos.com.

If you delete all the related anonymous posts you might find a more normal trend. This could render BSNYC's career stalled out at V.P. speechwriter or something. Which would up the ratings on all the V.P. appearances no doubt.

Commiecanuk said...

Cog..look at the graph..graphs don't lie, didn't you see Al Gore's movie?
81% of graphs are relevant to 83% of people, 18% of the time.

Cognorant said...

Commie...skewed, skewed I tell you! I looked at the graph and you're Zn integers are all over the place. If you don't modify the subset of A/Zn using the inverse of the [x] denoted set of all y elements, your vectors will skew!!!!

Sheesh!

Commiecanuk said...

..that's OK, it's in _3D_. 3D graphs are better.

frilly said...

Anon 11:39--Thank you. I was waiting for somebody to say something about all the fun that could be had with double t's.

Butter, buttocks, & t*tt**s. Now there's a triathlon for ya, Kale. I'd like to see the training schedule for that.

And who doesn't like pasta? Manicotti, tutto mare, its all good.

Anonymous said...

tutto mare means "the whole ocean"

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

lots of dischord in the comments board. please make your new positng something we can all agree on, like the war on terror in Iraq or somthing wonderfully patriotic

ant1 said...

The only thing we seem to all agree on is the awesomeness of Frilly's panty pic. I wouldn't mind an entire post about that, but the dischord found in this comment section is half of its charm.

ricky said...

the pubic libary is closed for mlk day and red is to cheap to get a decent internet for his trailer so he told me to say hey

frilly said...

Antoine, you are a sweetheart. Y'know if I go to Florida this year, I'm gonna stop and say Hi. Should have done it last year, malheureusement we were already in Chattanooga when I thought of it. Ever ride Lookout Mountain?

I think going to Philly for Livestrong will be the big trip this year.

anon 11:39 said...

Frilly,thanks for noticing;have you noticed how many great things are spelled w/ double LLs? Belle, dalliance, and something else immediately come to mind.

frilly said...

Jello

frilly said...

jello (shots)

to be more specific

ant1 said...

Never ridden Lookout Mountain, but I did ride Raccoon Mountain, which is just on the other side of the border from lookout, not too long ago. Sweet singletrack around a mountain top lake with nice views of Chattanooga.

anon 11:39 said...

Pillow. Good night all. Sleep well.Especially Frilly.

frilly said...

That whole area is beautiful. I saw a billboard advertising hill training for cyclists. Wish I would have had time to check that out.

Anonymous said...

http://www.yankodesign.com/2009/01/16/stay-outta-my-lane/

Andy Pandy said...

Frills that is one sweet rig. I tend to be the darth vadar of bikes... all black please but each to their own

Andy Pandy said...

Anon 11.39 I think you should get you mind out of lacy items as this is a cycling blog not Hustler

Anonymous said...

The Mad One was no joke.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=503688

Anonymous said...

Cunnillinguis.

frilly said...

AP, thats the retrofit Kale designed for my steel beast. Thinking about making her a single speed.

btw, new bike is a black cherry fade w/black grips, tape, saddle, and bosses.

How's the bear?

* said...

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=503688&page=4

it is real.

Anonymous said...

hahaha!!! all this discord about what??? how can there be discord about something that is cut and dried...black and white...good or bad? your either one or the other...no confusion. Unless you can't tolerate someones opinions...what about freedom of speech?? or is that so yesterday? we have become more knowledgeable and wiser! that is why we are in the shit now because humanity...is innately evil. I'm evil because I make body mutilators feel uncomfortable and...well body mutilators are....?

Anonymous said...

*-

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 10:04, you win paparazzi of the month. Are you shitting me with the white sneakers? And when you spend that kind of lettuce on a custom paintjob, including your name in script, you can't spring for a few more bucks for a helmet which matches?

Anonymous said...

i have a nice set of t*tt**s on my otherwise crappy fixed gear. they feel pretty nice in my hands.

what am I, 12?

kale said...

Obam1st!

Colbjorn said...

i g0t the Dual flats bRo.

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