Monday, December 8, 2008

Velo Noir: The Bike Dick

Not too long ago, I encountered a sight more inspirational than a thousand Obama campaign posters. That sight, of course, was an Access-a-Ride van getting stopped by the police. Frankly, I couldn't imagine street justice being meted out more deservingly--that is, until a reader forwarded me this:


Yes, that is indeed an Access-a-Ride van getting rear-ended by an Access-a-Ride car, and I deeply regret that I was not there to see it. The only more satisfying collision I can imagine would be between a brakeless fixed-gear rider and that idiot who was walking in the bike lane with his breakfast last week. Of course, it does stand to reason that any two Access-a-Ride vehicles that come within a block of each-other would inevitably collide. After all, there's a 50% chance that a solo Access-a-Ride vehicle is going to crash into something at any given time anyway, so logically chances double to 100% when there are two of them.

And in these difficult times, the truth is that we need all the inspiration we can get. In case you haven't noticed, it's getting ugly out there. Way back in February, I reported that bike messengers in Seattle were becoming extinct. (Which of course led to the short-lived "Save the Messengers" campaign.) In particular, I recommended starting an "adopt-a-courier" program for unemployed messengers. Well, it seems the hard times have spread to New York, because at least one would-be messenger has put himself up for adoption:



BIKE MESSENGER/DELIVERY - $9 (Lower East Side)
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-12-05, 11:58AM EST

I am a biker who is looking for a job where I can use my bike. I have amazing bike riding skills and can navagate through NY city easily.I know this city like the back of my hand and can deliver messages, packages or food. I know how to ride safely and quickly.I come with 2 of my own bikes and cell phone. I ask for an hourly pay of 9.00 and up. If you are looking for an experienced biker email me at
a.cooper24@yahoo.com

In the spirit of the holiday season, I hope someone out there can find it in his or her heart to employ someone with amazing bike riding skills. After all, amazing bike riding skills don't exactly grow on trees (even though amazingly ugly bikes do), and $9 is very little to pay for the convenience of having someone return that overdue library book for you, or go fetch that hat you left at your friend's house, or (if you have OCD) to have someone who can go back and forth to your house all day to make sure you didn't leave the oven on. Even if you don't need his services, a gift certificate for an hour of messenger service makes for a great stocking stuffer. He even comes with "2 of my own bikes and a cell phone," just like some kind of messenger action figure.

Yes, it's good to see cyclists joining the ranks of people who seek compensation simply for doing something fun and unnecessary, just like mediocre guitar players or men who try to sell their bodies to women. (And we all know how that turns out.) With any luck, our freelance messenger will never have to do anything he doesn't want to do, or worse yet, actually go to work for a messenger service. But at least if his courier-for-hire thing doesn't work out he can always become a bike detective:



Reward$$$$$ stolen Nagasawa!!!
Reply to: sale-944824384@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-04, 1:07PM EST

My bike was stolen on the 11th of last month in Brooklyn. Please help me find it. I'm offering a nice cash reward for it's return. It will be worth your time to return it. Help me out.


The number of people using exotic bicycles with expensive components to ride around the streets of New York City only continues to increase. Consequently, so does theft. Yet the only phrase less likely to spur a cop into action than "My bike was just stolen!" is "I sent my laundry out and when I picked it up one of my sweatsocks was missing!" (Hint: telling the cops your frame was NJS won't impart any more urgency to the proceedings, either.) As such, I think the time is ripe for a full-time private bike detective. Part Philip Marlowe and part Ace Ventura, he will comb the back alleys, Chinese take-out restaurants, and Craigslist chop shops of New York City in order to reunite fixters with their "whips." He will also chase down villains with his "amazing bike riding skills," and like Ace Ventura he will even talk out of his ass. (Talking out of your ass is essential when dealing with fixters and missing NJS frames.)


Stolen Track Bike -- Orange Samson -- Grand Street - $1 (Lower East Side)
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-12-03, 10:25PM EST

Taken on Grand at Essex. REWARD.
Black Brooks saddle, Black Mavics/Dura Ace hubs.

Here's another stolen bicycle in need of detection. Sadly, this one also sounds like it was a pretty expensive keirin frame, which means that some sort of "NJS Bandit" is almost assuredly on the loose. Please note that if you have any information you need to be a formidable sleuth in order to reply, since the poster has left no contact information whatsoever.


STOLEN BIKE FOUND - $1 (NYC )
Reply to: sale-947817741@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-06, 5:30PM EST

so these shady chinese guys offered me to see "their" bike in the basement and.. uh
really not theirs they dont know shit about bikes..

so here its what it looks like..

if you think its yours it has a sticker and you must describe it

its a red pinnarello with campy record everything brakes derralieur , seatpost, brakes, shifters, hubs balblablabla

it has nitto blue anodized handlebar with brown brooks cork wrap,

does it sound familiar? Holla at me

But there is hope, and this post goes to show that sometimes bikes are found. The person who found this bike would clearly make an excellent bike detective too, not only because he's the kind of person who somehow finds himself in situations where shady people are inviting him into basements, but also because he then actually goes into those basements despite the obvious risks. (I on the other hand would make a terrible bike detective, since I won't even go into the basements of people I know and trust.) He shouldn't have too much trouble finding the owner either. Very few of those Balblablabla hubs were ever made. They're very ornate and highly recognizable too, thanks to their trademark fish-mouth grease ports, scaly hub shells, and fin-shaped skewers.



Vintage Italian Track Frame
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-12-08, 8:09AM EST

I bought the frame from Continuum Cylces in Manhattan. It was beat up but you could tell it was, at one point, a beautiful frame. The owner (who told me that the frame was his) suggested that it was a Giordana, and the markings seen on the second picture seem to suggest that it's at least an Italian vintage. I bought the frame and brought it to Chelsea Bikes where the top tube (which was cracked) was replaced and the entire frame was given a clear coat. I returned the frame to Continuum where it was built out with all new parts, including fork.

I love this bike. Truly an unique gem. A fast, elegant ride. All steel. It's just too big for me. I knew it when I bought it, I just hoped I'd get used it.

Please contact me for more pictures or questions. The bike is going for $2000, or best offer, though I've had offers near that amount.

It's stamped a size 56". The top tube measures 58".


As much as I hate to see people's bikes get stolen, I also can't help getting irritated when those bikes are disproportionately expensive. Sure, not everybody has a beater bike, but if you do only have one bike and you lock it up in a city like New York you might want to think about buying a second bike for $250 before you upgrade to that $300 hubset. That's one of the many reasons why, if you're in the market for an urban runabout, I'd avoid the $2,000 rehabilitated mystery bike above.

I must admit, though, that I found the ad compelling. First of all, I was intrigued by the bike's mysterious provenance: notice that the previous owner "suggested it was a Giordana." I'm not sure Giordanas are highly-coveted bicycles anyway, but nonetheless suggesting something without saying it outright is a highly effective sales tactic. I've even used it myself: "I'm not saying this bike isn't a Colnago. All I'm saying is that if you peel off those Pacific decals you never know what you'll find under there." Hey, it may be misleading, but it's not a lie. Secondly, I'm not sure why the owner thought he'd get used to a frame that's too big for him. Maybe the person who sold it to him also said, "I'm not saying this bike will fit you like a glove, but I will say if you buy it you very well might get used to it." And that's like falling for the old, "Don't worry, they'll stretch" line when you're buying shoes. Finally, it seems that the current owner is picking up some of the sneaky tactics of the person who sold him the bike, since he's selling it "for $2000, or best offer, though I've had offers near that amount." If he's had already had offers close to $2,000 and he's willing to sell it for $2,000 or best offer, then why does he still have the thing?

Perhaps the seller can engage the private bike detective to find out who made his bike. And here's yet another bike-related crime on the verge of being solved, which was posted in the "Missed Connections:"



To the kid who hit a car w/bike, got beaten up, iPhone smashed, etc - 27 (Bushwick)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-12-06, 2:13PM EST

There was a post written a few weeks ago by the guy you got smashed up by- he's a real dick and he ended his post by suggesting you meet him at an Agnostic Front show? Yeah, anyhow I have been corresponding with him in an effort to help and now have an email and myspace address for you, it should be easy to pull an IP address from that should you want to press charges. You could at least maybe get your ipod back since he apparently stole that after he stomped on you and stomped your iphone.
Just contact me on here.


Yes, some time ago, none other than fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly came upon this highly dramatic and incendiary Craigslist Missed Connection, which is either very comical or somewhat disturbing, depending on your disposition. At the time, I dismissed it as fantasy, thinking it read too much like the hipser-hater's equivalent of a Penthouse Forum letter. However, it would appear that at least one concerned citizen with hipster sympathies not only believes the story is true but has taken it upon himself to bring the driver to justice. I'm not sure what recourse the victim would actually have if they did find the guy, but if there's a rematch I really, really hope I'm invited to watch. I also hope there's a Zune involved this time.

And once the private bike detective is done with that, he can move on to trailing adulterous husbands. After reading about the iPhone crusher, I noticed this:


Linda At Bike Junkie Bike Shop - m4w - 54 (Bethpage)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-12-01, 11:45AM EST

I am a fairly regular customer and I was in the store most recently twice a couple of weeks ago. You look as good and hot as ever. I would love to get together. Because I am married I am uncomfortable approaching you directly.


I'm sure Linda at Bike Junkie is pleased to know that his reticence isn't due to insecurity or lack of attraction--it's simply because he's trying to cheat on his wife. Next time this guy tells his wife he's "going out to buy tubes" at 12:45am she can have the bike dick follow him and build herself a solid divorce case.

Lastly, speaking of following people, I always like to follow up on people I've mentioned here on the site. You may remember Shane Stock, owner of Oso Bike. Well, not only did he reinvent his corporate image by re-editing his video, but he also scored a review on Bikecommuters.com:


I'm not one to fuss over chainline, but I was dismayed to learn that the chainline of the Oso bike is something like a centimeter out-of-plane. Still, I suppose it makes a better sacrificial lamb than a Nagasawa or a Samson. (I understand NJS certification for the Oso is pending.)

I also feel compelled to apprise you of the latest from Opinionated Cyclist (if only to save you the trouble of watching his videos) since it may interest some of you to know he seems to have reinvented himself as a karaoke air musician. Here he is "playing" along to Ratt's "Round and Round:"


And here he is singing with his sweater on inside out and backwards:


Hard-hitting stuff.

But not quite as hard-hitting as this:

Soundtrack and wardrobe aside, I can't imagine anything more detached from the streets. Even the bike's in a living room on rollers instead of outside. He does have "amazing bike riding skills" though. I'd give him $9 to pick up my moisture-wicking chicken suit from the dry cleaners or something.

122 comments:

kale said...

aaa

Podium?

jo said...

tada!

Anonymous said...

kick ass!

Daddo said...

3?

jenn said...

podium!

Lance Armstrong said...

all you haters read my twitter

Anonymous said...

top 10

Anonymous said...

Esta bien!

Mark said...

Top 10! Woo Hoo!

Anonymous said...

third place is at least on the podium...wooooohooooo!!! I've got to get a life.

Never Knows Best said...

Top ten dope free!

Anonymous said...

Be careful RATHERBEBIKING might do a track stand on your heads.

streepo said...

Too old to be a prize twat.

stuggy said...

Dang it, just missed top 10!

oh, and that "too old for this" guy from yesterday: You can suck my balls.

tajblues said...

I got nuthin.

leroy said...

Yes! Access-A-Ride love!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

red neckerson said...

i been camping out all day and i dont even get no stinking tshirt

Anonymous said...

sigh.. i refreshed for HOURS. gave up for 5 minutes, and i totally lost the pack. chk chk *BOOM* I AM COMMITTING SUICIDE

Mongo Pusher said...

Zubeldia!

Bill said...

peloton!!!

Bill said...

I knew CERA was overrated

Critical Ass said...

Snob,

Glad you finally posted...everyone was getting cranky and in need of a nap

Bill said...

wow, that OC video is undoubtedly the weirdest thing i have seen since the days of Capt Lou Albano with the rubberbands in his beard.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that dude's myspace is here:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=8596799

Anonymous said...

Wooty! Woot! Woo!

Mister Grammar said...

highly-covented = highly coveted?

tsk, tsk.

leroy said...

I can see the Long Island bike Lothario explaining:

"B-b-but, honey, when I went out for tubes at 12:45 a.m., I was thinking of you."

Maybe he should stick to pictures of Access-A-Ride vehicles procreating.

That should scare the be-jeebers out of any cyclist and cause him/her to re-think priorities.

Jim said...

Regarding that personal ad - why does he talk about being a "regular" customer? Do bike shops treat constipation? What exactly is in that chamois cream and Gu? I am baffled here.

Jim said...

And isn't "bike dick" what happens when you have the nose of your seat angled a little too high?

Anonymous said...

"highly-covented = highly coveted?"

No, I think he actually meant "highly-convented" as in being used in many convents by nuns.

Anonymous said...

obviously, a "regular" customer is someone who shops regularly. to avoid further confusion: shopping regularly can also be described as "shopping frequently" or "very often."

Anonymous said...

I've had "bike dick" before. It usually happens on the rollers.

Russ said...

Sending all the Access-A-Ride drivers to the same general area would produce a Blues Brothers-lile pileup. Someone needs to infiltrate.

Russ said...

Blues Brothers-LIKE. Oops.

GenghisKhan said...

Gotta love the OC--I'd stay anon, too, Mr. BSNYC!
---
www.singlespeedrevolution.com
Ride One or Ride None!

Anonymous said...

that girl Matchew can really ride the rollers

Jim N (as opposed to just Jim) said...

The link to Prolly's Missed Connection is pointing to Prolly's site. I think it's supposed to point somewhere else.

Anon 2:11 said...

Whew! That's better. I just know he's gonna start charging us a big fat subscription fee. We'll be helpless to resist, a lot of us at least.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Jim N:

Sorry, fixed it!

--BSNYC

rich said...

As the sender of the photo I can say was a pleasure to hear a crash and look up and see the results. Of course I had to snap a picture of the poetic justice.

Critical Ass said...

Wow...after perusing the OC videos, this "Karen" must be a really terrible bitch.

SwaggerZine said...

glad someone finally clowned on the freestyle roller vid

bikesgonewild said...

...oh oh...say it w/ a song...

...that "jingle, jingle, jingle" from the oc household does not signal the joy of the holiday season but rather the sound of keys to the station wagon nervously twitching in a sweaty, trembling hand...

...there'll be no santa on the roof but there maybe 'roofies' in the santa cookies, so watch for strangers bearing edible 'noel' gifts, ladies...

...& that tinge of scent isn't from 'boughs of holly' or 'oh, christmas tree, oh christmas tree' but more likely the odor of a handy bottle of chloroform...

...it could be a long & 'silent night' or an even uglier 'twelve days of christmas' if someone's not careful...

...just warnin'...

John said...

The amazing thing about the possible Giordana is the size - 56 INCH frame with 58 INCH top tube? No wonder it was too large for him. It won't fit anyone smaller than the jolly green giant. And he thought he might grow used to it?

Anonymous said...

Funny, Matchewrollerguy dates that Nakedrollergirl from a couple weeks ago. Rollercouple. Haa.

bk jimmy said...

Nothing says discretion like singling out an employee of a shop by name and announcing in a public forum that you wish to take up an illicit affair with her.

Jolly Green said...

Does that have 17.5 inch or 18 inch cranks?

Human Powered said...

If each vehicle has a 50% chance of collision the probability of a collision when the two are in the same place is 75% as the joint probability = (.5+.5)-(.5*.5). Still the probability that they will crash into each other is higher than them not crashing into each other. Now the probability that a Bike Snob reader with a camera was at the scene is wonderful in its improbability. I apologize for being pedantic, I really have no friends.

Critical Ass said...

Matchew's gonna be in some trouble when the parents get back from their cruise. The house is a mess and they'll probably find a half-empty PBR can somewhere.

Bill said...

gesundheit

Anonymous said...

I just knew some humor-deficient doofus would go into the calculation of probabilities...

Cottered Crank said...

I'm a little concerned with the methodology used in the bikecommuters.com brake test. "We had a couple of bigger guys ride it in a parking lot, and they thought the braking was fine." Have they considered testing on a hill? Have they even popular search engined "coaster brake test" or such like? There are some interesting tests to be found online, in which some scary shit happened. I have a coaster brake bike or two myself, but they should not be considered as anything but sketchy in the stopping department with no front brake.

kale said...

Paratransit drivers are the new bike messengers. I've already gone out and bought some navy Dickies, white polos, an MTA jacket, and some really comfortable shoes. I'm gonna go rock that shit at the new BuStar Transit Boutique on College Point. I'm getting mad skillz with the tricks on the dyno.

Bring some Pernil, and we can talk about joining the Crew.

frilly said...

bgw-Thanks for the warning.

CA-Doesn't take much, trust me on this one. btw, where on earth did you find that picture? I'm e-mailing it to my older sister for blackmail purposes. Ha ha.

frilly said...

Is that Chris Farley in the coveralls?

Human Powered said...

Anon 4:41

I'm not humor deficient I got it and laughed. I'm smug and self-important. A much better explanation for why I don't have any friends.

bike biz said...

Yay!

Finally a bike boutique for Boston!
I can hardly wait!

Not yet Open

dmitri fofonov said...

A column of cycling penis?

Americans are much weird.

Not all, but many.

Critical Ass said...

Frilly-

For your sister?

http://www.stuckinthe70s.com/images/tb0678leifpu.jpg

Likely story...I know you just don't feel like going through your Tiger Beat collection to find that lipstick-stained pic

frilly said...

Seriously. She was always into those bad boys. Y'know I think he ended up addicted to drugs and homeless. I thought Shaun Cassidy was cuter.

Gnarles Darwin said...

No bike to crappy or exotic for the one and only...

"BIKE DICK"

Anonymous said...

opinionated cyclist makes my blood boil. i can't bear to hear his horrit voice, or see his pasty raw-chicken-skinned face. how many times does he really need to say BikeSnob? His videos could be infinitely better if he did them in the dark and didn't say every part of a sentence twice.

Clayton said...

Yes, Opinionated Cyclist is truly terrifying.

joe said...

yeah, who is this OC guy? I dont understand if he's trying really hard to be funny and failing, or trying really hard to be serious and failing.

Anonymous said...

After Dustin Dunlavy has done his time, I see him moving to NYC and using his head-squeezing rib-kneeing abilities as NYC's first bike dick. Get him on a gold p-far (I'm thinking gold like Jim Rockford's Firebird) and watch as he deals with the bike-scum of NYC. In the final episode, Dunlavy gives his life defending an outed BSNYC from Michael Ball.

cody said...

the guys over at fyxomatosis put a bounty on your head! "fyxomatosis shirt and BREV. FYXOMATOSIS chainring for information leading to the identity of BikeSnobNYC being revealed."

http://www.fyxomatosis.com/news.php?readmore=1332

Andy Pandy said...

Think the OC’s attention span is diminishing or he is getting narcolepsy.
Jackie Chan would make an excellent Singing Bike Detective.
Red, are you getting fixated on drilling holes in to your blow up Santa cos that might not be healthy.
Human powered , the probability would depend on both events being mutually exclusive. If we must be pedantic at least be accurate

Anonymous said...

Ya know, the comments have been a lot less interesting since Frilly changed her icon...

...and how did "dick" ever come to mean "detective"? I mean, it must have come before its use in the current lexicon, right? Could be a story there.

frilly said...

Miss this?

frilly said...

AP, I just love it when you talk science. Hey, did you see Red Neckerson has competition--Chris Horner?

Apparently, my boy is slightly unrefined. I'd love to know what he did to earn that moniker from Lance.

Andy Pandy said...

Frills thought that they might be beefer with all of the recent training... Update?

Andy Pandy said...

Just don't get started on quantum physics as I get all hot and flustered

GhostRider said...

Cottered Crank,

The whole purpose of the utterly unscientific and mostly useless Bikecommuters.com coaster brake test was this: big (200+ lb.) folks were concerned that a coaster wasn't enough to stop their rolling bulk. That's all.

We ain't scientists, nor do we have the funding to conduct a truly scientific test. And besides, it is DEAD FLAT here -- we couldn't test it on a hill if we wanted to, because there's no hill for something like 200 miles.

Jack Sweeney
"Ghost Rider"
www.bikecommuters.com

Johnny Nemo said...

For $9 an hour, the guy can come around and run my dvd's back to the store, do my washing, put out the trash and take the dog for a walk. You can't get that sort of a deal anywhere outside of a 3rd world country !

Human Powered said...

Andy Pandy:

If the events are mutually exclusive they cannot occur together the probability would be 0. Based on the photographic evidence we can safely rule this out. I think what you might be referring to is independent. The formula listed is for the joint probability of independent events. Based on the context is a safe assumption that the events are independent. We don't have enough information to handle dependent events as we would need to know the probability of B given A as the calculation is P(A and B) = P(A) * P(B|A).

As long as I'm being pedantic "both events being mutually exclusive" is redundant as a single event cannot be mutually exclusive. Simply stating the events must be mutually exclusive would have been more succinct, wrong but succinct.

Frilly, how do you like me now.

Andy Pandy said...

Damn another nerd loose

Anonymous said...

Andy, bite me.

Anonymous said...

Hey snob, thought you might like these photos, they're from an amateur frame (and I guess, aerospoke and stem) painter in South Philly.

Just thinking of them makes me shudder.

http://b3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01134/35/61/1134931653_l.jpg
http://b1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01134/16/32/1134932361_l.jpg

Andy Pandy said...

Anon 7.53, Frilly first

Anonymous said...

Not Sure, but he giordana's ad reads 58" toptube... just imagine how long this thing would be.

-hgermainpare@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

yeah I forgot the "T"

-hgermainpare

Cognorant said...

Wow! That fyxsnotmytosis dude has a problem eh? People or organizations who let bloggerwebhumorbullshit get to them should maybe stay away from the internet. There are far more disturbing things going on in the world to focus time & energy on than this.

JoshuaMcC said...

Holy Shit,
My A.D.D. won't let me read your posts anymore. I have had to read anything this long since high school

Cottered Crank said...

@ Ghost Rider

Oh. I see. That's a bummer.

Anonymous said...

a 4 foot 8 inch seat tube? lmao

Anonymous said...

Im the one who went into the basement by Canal St.. the basement was filled with tons of Counterfit Bags..
And a pinarello
shinning but yet left behind.

i defenetly know its not theirs.

as soon as i get my paycheck im saving that bike..

Anonymous said...

totalitarianism, history revisionism, "whitey", militaria, Europa, slavic history, BDSM, corsetry, latex, fetishism, pin-up girls, cossacks, Imperial Russia, Ukraine, blood and honour, slavophilism, European Cultural Identity, uniforms, antique furniture, carpentry, guns, political incorrectness

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

bricoleur said...

a guy comes up to me and says "for $9 an hour, i'll do anything you want." "ok, paint my house."

frilly said...

Anon 11:47--Any 'Gucci' bags?

AP, yes I have been running a lot so my quads are definitely beefier. I'm about to join Beth in lobbying Michael Ball for some keirin cut jeans. The official Livestrong training guide isn't going to arrive until January, I have been doing triathlon training. Quit laughing! Its supposed to help with endurance (I hope).

Human Powered-Yeah, for sure, intelligence is extremely sexy.

Anonymous said...

Bricoleur: "What do you get for ten dollars?"

Craigslist Bike Messenger: "Anyting you want."

bikesgonewild said...

...bricoleur...sorry, but ya blew it, babe...

...it goes 'guy comes up to a woman & sez: "yer so hot, i'd do anything to please you"...
...she sez: "ok, paint my house" '
...

...yer version doesn't seem funny only because out-a-work bike messengers gladly be paintin' houses fer $9 bucks an hour...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...oh, btw...when red neckerson said...
..."...i dont even get no stinking tshirt" i thought "ya know red, nothin' personal but i'll bet all yer t-shirts are a little stinky"...

...just sayin'...

anon 2:11 said...

I'm not going to read all this diatribe to see if anyoen touched on this but, if a poster doesn't leave contact information, craigslist can contact them as you require an e-mail to set up the posting.

But what's a little inaccuracy for the sake of a joke. Kind of like bad cop movies where they cock their weapon with their finger on the trigger. Stupid, but it looks bad-ass.

I'm not saying that bike isn't overpriced but, "Or best offer" does not mean someone will take whatever the best offer is. It means that 2000 does not guarentee you the bike. It's just a nice way of saying ahead of time, "Yeah, I know I told you to come pick it up but someone called after you and offered me 2100, if you can beat that it's yours."

Surely you wouldn't post an add for a motorcycle at $4000 OBO and then sell it for $500 because it was your "best offer"...but I'm sure you will find someone who did.

Basic stuff snob. From now on consult me before you try and relate to the day-to-day of the common man.

ant1 said...

Those gold aerospokes are hot.

Frilly - It's ok for a girl to do triathlons, like it's ok for a girl to do other girls. It's only for dudes that it's frowned upon. Sexist, I know, but the fofonov industry is mighty powerful.

ant1 said...

anon 2:11 - and what makes you think we'll read yours?

ant1 said...

97

ant1 said...

98

ant1 said...

99

ant1 said...

ant100th!

2wheeledwanderer said...

Rennaisance cycles used to set up "stings" where they would set up bikes in area's that where reported bike theivery "hotspots" then lie in wait to smite the would-be absconders and therefore set en example. Kinda like hanging a dead crow in your garden!

saltbike said...

Statistics primer - if there is a 50% chance of an event happening ( a la one Access-A-Ride vehicle crashing into something), and you "roll" two of those chances (two Access-A-Rides in the same neighborhood), the chances of them crashing into each other is actually not 100%. There is a 75% chance that one of them will crash into something, but only a 25% chance that they will crash into each other. All you statistics haters can suck my dice.

stuggy said...

Go Ant1! I was lookin', and I saw you post 97, 98, and I was like, what's he doing? and then by 99, I knew the next would be Ant100th!

I'm sorry, all you podium haters, but that was just plain fun!

Ahhh, Frilly, teasing us with that classic profile picture... Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or does that aphorism even work when we're dealing with probable fofonoving?

kale said...

Male triathletes are not ok because they just come off as dicks, they're the same type of douchebag that will snowboard, wakeboard, and motocross and then talk about it all the fucking time, because you can do all these things at a mediocre level (then putting tons of Famous Stars stickers on your Silverado).

But really, it's ok when the ladies do that. It's ok when you do something because you "enjoy" it, and most women seem to not front the way guys do.

Also, if a chick's willing to do that many things for sport, imagine what she'll tri in bed.

Johann S said...

KNOG FROG

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 2:11: Misspelled "anyone," misapprehended "obo," and used "try and" for "try to." Not only are you a pompous bore, but you also live in a glass house.

Bill said...

plus asked a question without the ? (really basic punctuation, anon) plus a myriad of other problems (i won't even get into subject agreement, as you are all over the map there)

Anonymous said...

we have a crew that finds stolen bikes here in mpls, nothing spectacular but effective...

frilly said...

Kale, I'll be thinking about you when I swim my laps tonight.

stuggy said...

Hey, Frilly, what exactly is your current profile picture? (I can't see so small.) It kinda looks like it could be a podium presentation or something.

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

Ease up on 2:11, guys. He's really just the OC, after taking his meds. Poor guy has enough problems 'thout us doggin' him constantly.

I don't mean we should stop altogether, but just keep in mind that one person has to soak up everything we spew at both characters.

frilly said...

Its the podium from the Hermann--St. Charles stage of Tour of Missouri.

fixedgear blog said...

I want a roller :(

Human Powered said...

Saltbike: You are correct about the two vehicles hitting something, I made the unlikely assumption that they were the only two "somethings" on the road. However, if you are going to challenge that assumption your assumption that the probability they would collide with each is 25% other is dependent on the quantity of "somethings" on the road. This gets much more complicated and cannot be calculated with the information given so I will stand by my unlikely assumption for the time. A good point though.

Overpaid CEO said...

VELO NOIR

Anonymous said...

whats with picking on matty and his girl?

jennnnn said...

matty probably rides his bike more than all you fools on here.

the fact he rides all day everyday, then rides at home says something.

ooo riding indoors oh no, at least he is riding.

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