Tuesday, September 9, 2008

So What Now? Coaching and the End of Summer


On the surface, it might appear that cycling is simple. But nothing could be farther from the truth. The world of cycling is vast and confusing, and as such sometimes people need to pay other people to tell them how, when, and where to ride their bikes. These other people are called "coaches." So with the summer drawing to a close, it would make sense that riders everywhere are asking the question, "What now?" And their coaches are more than happy to tell them.

I myself have consulted two coaches, Chris Carmichael and Matt Shriver, by reading their recent columns in Bicycling and VeloNews respectively. (Fortunately for the clueless, there is such a thing as free advice.) Both had interesting yet differing opinions on what to do now that summer is drawing to a close. Here's what they had to say:


(CC) Now that I have the sub-nine-hour Leadville 100 monkey off my back, I'm suddenly in need of something new to set my sights on. ...I know myself well enough to know I'll get restless if I don't set some goals for the late summer, fall and winter.

Hmmm, when I get restless I just ride my bike. I don't really need goals to do that. I could understand not wanting to play soccer without goals, since then you're just kicking a ball around a field, but cycling without goals works just fine. In fact, cycling with goals is a problem. Because then you have bike polo, and no coach no matter how crazy would tell a person to do something that stupid.

(MS) The dog days of summer are over, the days are getting much shorter and the road and mountain bike racing events are few and far between. ... Yes, it is important to take a break from structured training and racing, but rather than completely racking your bike for the fall months and watching college football, hang on to some of that fitness and avoid losing what you have gained.

Ah yes, the "use it or lose it" approach to cycling. It's a sin to let go of your fitness, even if you don't really need it, yet it's also a sin to ride your bike outside of training and racing, because as everybody knows that's called "junk miles." This is a telling glimpse into the mind of the roadie, who is always the width of a chamois away from ditching the bike and embracing his inner jock by watching organized ball sports, and who must constantly trick himself into riding his bicycle.

(CC) Fortunately, I live in Colorado, and August through October is the perfect season for cycling in the high country. ... And so, I've decided on a very simple late-summer plan: I'm going daytripping.

Now that I did not expect. I was sure he'd be on to whatever this season's trendy cross-training technique is. (Word is that this winter it's all about caber tossing in order to build core strength.) I didn't even know "daytripping" counted as a goal. I thought it was just "junk miles!" Intriguing.

(MS) The fall air and shorter days mark the commencement of another cyclocross season. Become part of the fastest growing division of cycling and have fun on your bike year round!

Hey, I love fun and I love being part of trends! I've also heard of cyclocross. That's the one that has running, but not stupid running like triathlons, right? Sign me up! Do I get to buy a new bike?

(CC) There are a lot of racers and cycling enthusiasts out there like me: folks who finished up their main goals for the season and still have a lot of great fitness they can put to use.

So basically, Chris, you're saying fitness is like when you're in a foreign country and you have a pocket full of local currency with only two hours before your flight home, so you've got to squander it on crap before you leave? I guess I can relate.

(MS) Whether you plan on competing in multiple back to back 'cross racing weekends or just want to attend some fun group rides and maintain fitness, focusing on some key elements will help you get the most out of your cyclocross season and prepare you for your upcoming road or mountain bike endeavors.

Wait, what's this about "focusing on some key elements?" I thought this was about having fun! I don't want to "prepare" for my "upcoming road or mountain bike endeavors." I know I've said I believe in living in the future, but for some reason when I hear you say it it just sounds scary. I'm looking for excuses, not excellence.

(CC) The best part about these post-goal rides is that there's no pressure. You have the fitness to go fast, and the freedom to stop and admire the view - or add another 30 miles if you feel like riding some more before you finish up for the day. If this sounds like you, go ahead and map out some great day trips in the next six weeks. Summer has been great, but it's not going to last much longer, so don't let these precious warm-weather weekends pass you by.

You always kind of freaked me out, but right now you're making sense to me. Which freaks me out in a different way--kind of like when you listen to a Scientologist and you catch yourself thinking, "Hey, maybe there's something to it." Too bad I live in New York City, which is a total craphole, and not in Colorado like you do.

(MS) Once you feel rested and have had that cabin fever like itch or desire to get back on the bike, it is time to begin your cyclocross specific training. This is a transition period back into a structured training regime and it is important to ease back into it.

Translation: now that you've decided to have fun, it's time to begin the highly structured and rigorous process of engaging in that fun.

(CC) Where am I going? Well, I don't have all my trips figured out, but I'm definitely going to spend some time riding with Lance Armstrong in Aspen, and I'm working on expanding some of my ride-trips to include some camping with my kids and some out-of-town time with my whole family.

What?!? Riding with Lance Armstrong? Then the comeback rumors must be true! Maybe now VeloNews can publish an article that actually names a source.

(MS) Start with some base building... running... run two or three times in your first week... running... running fitness...

I don't like running.

(CC) ...a couple of the places I want to hit are: Monarch Crest Trail... Kenosha Pass-to-Breckenridge... Buena Vista-to-Crested Butte...

Well doesn't that sound nice. Are any of those places near my craphole? I didn't think so.

(MS) Your routine should at minimum address your back muscles, your lower abdomen, internal oblique's, hip flexors, and your upper body as well.

What's with all the chiropractor jargon? I don't even know what those things are. I thought this was about riding bikes.

(CC) ...Independence Pass... My biggest question is whether I should ride the pass into Aspen at the beginning of a nice weekend with my family, or end a nice weekend with my family by riding the pass out of town (and having them pick me up in Twin Lakes).

Oh, gee, Chris, however will you decide? I get to decide things like, "Should I ride through the gauntlet of Manhattan, over the George Washington Bridge, and into the sweaty crotch that is New Jersey, or should I ride through Brooklyn and Queens and onto the vast springboard to nowhere that is Long Island? Or maybe I'll drag my bike to some vacant lot in the suburbs and do some 'mountain biking'." Though I see you're right about the goal thing. I'm setting a cycling goal right now, and that is to move the hell out of New York.

(MS) Adding the weights portion will require more time to complete the workout session as well as proper weights phases, beginning with the Anatomical Adaptation phase and progressing from there.

Are you still talking?

(CC) I suppose I could do both...

Good for you.

(MS) ... sloppy mud, long run ups, double sets of barriers...

You know what? I think you just talked me out of this whole 'cross thing.

106 comments:

Anonymous said...

podium

ant1st said...

!First

Anonymous said...

podium

Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

wow.. I am in the top 5?

Meredith said...

Yay!

Anonymous said...

5th

Lucky 7 said...

Doh! Doh!


A

max said...

Top 10!

Gerchof Sirdribeldik said...

Yaroslav,
What does Ukrainian squirt when he has organism? Russian Krim.
When I heard that one from Babayevski Casino and Lounge in Pinsk I pooped in pants.

Gnarles Darwin said...

Big Ten!

Anonymous said...

Podium!

anon 2:11 said...

I realize now why I sound tired and repetitive. I also realize why the other trolls don't stick around.

Because this is the same crap every day.

Can I has new material please?! I can't keep complaining about the same seething hatred for people who actually achieve over and over again.

But I will try because I know that's what really makes him mad. And, while I might never win this crowd, I can has cheezburger and still run laps around some fat Slob too scared of needles to cheat his way to victory.

Critical Ass said...

***...a couple of the places I want to hit are: Monarch Crest Trail... Kenosha Pass-to-Breckenridge... Buena Vista-to-Crested Butte...***

If you live in Denver, count on about 45 minutes in traffic for each hour you get to spend on the bike as a rule of thumb. Most weekends I end up dodging SUV's around the metro area or doing laps around the resevoir at best. Twin Lakes is probably the easiest significant climb that involves less than an hour in the car.

Critical Ass said...

You are a pain in my ass
You can really suck a donkey's balls
Get off your mom's computer
Go outside and play

Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll

Go ride on your Sting Ray
Go put a BB in the neighbor's window
Get on a bus and get out of town, jackass

Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll

You can really suck a horse's ass
You can go for a ride on the Torture Hell Bus
Keep smoking that crack

Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll
Go away troll

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

Nashbar, always a great deal

Anonymous said...

This is why I ride a mountain bike and not a road bike. No schedule and no agenda. Just the simple pleasure of rolling along.

Surly Bastard said...

The coaches knew how to ruin road racing (okay it didn't need much help) and now they're trying to ruin cyclocross with this tourist crap. Thanks for nothing you douchebags. We've got wankers dropping into cross that are full of this shit - doing for all the wrong reasons: be a part of the fastest growing blah blah blah, left-over fitness you need to spend before the train leaves, training for next year's triathalons, loneliness, hopelessness, fear of not wearing lycra on a daily basis.

I notice not one of the experts mentioned excessive beer drinking which is a tip they know nothing about 'cross.

And daytripping? What the fuck is draytripping? You mean riding your bike?

Jeezus. Interval training is obviously the gateway to total idiocy.

manicallday said...

I thought there was a train in New York that took you to a great mountain Bike trail. I read this in an article somewhere where the guy just jump on the train, rode for 30 minutes and then jumped right off at the mountain bike trail.

Here in D.C. I have a great trail right behind my house. The problem is that nobody ever goes on it, so it's covered in huge spiderwebs. The last time that I rode it three huge spiders jumped on me at the same time. Of course I freaked out and now I am just waiting till the frost before I venture riding it again.

Admiral Crunch said...

Special thanks to Critical Ass for channeling Wesley Willis and so eloquently expressing the way many of us feel about certain recent commentators.

The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company! It's a name you can trust!

Wesley Willis said...

i'm gonna pop that pussy!

erik k said...

where would you go if you left new york?

Critical Ass said...

anon said:
***This is why I ride a mountain bike and not a road bike. No schedule and no agenda. Just the simple pleasure of rolling along.***

I get the same simple pleasure on a road bike. Two years ago I took the cycling computer off my bike and tossed it in the parts bin. Cycling has been more fun since...although once I got bitched out on a group ride for pulling a group off the front "at 26.7 mph average for the last 8.5 miles".

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:11 thanks for the extra dose of bitterness.

JPB said...

Living in Florida, the end of summer has a different meaning. Mainly that you may stay outside longer than it takes to get from your house to your car. October is when the temperature drops from boiling to simmering and the humidity might actually be as low as 80%. I think January is the one month out of the year that I am glad to be a mountain biker in Florida. The other 11 months are spent trying to convince people that "mountain bike" is a misnomer.

manicallday - find a taller person to ride in front of you, that's what I do.

broomie said...

CC seems to like rubbing our noses in it.

Anon: 1:38,

Well, La De DA!

Surley Bastard:
Thank you for inventing cyclocross and then declaring it your private club.

Interval training?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I'm confused. I suspect that Carmichael is using "daytripping" in a different sense than the Beatles, but I can't be sure. And Snob, before you book your trip to Aspen to ride with Chris and Lance, double-check, because I'm not sure that they allow Jews there.

Anonymous said...

Coaches "ruined" road racing? I'm not even sure what that means... racing is about going faster than everybody else. Don't hate because you're slow. If you don't want to race, then just ride.

Surly Bastard said...

Anon 2:11 -

Isn't it kinda hard to ridea bike with that pickle up your ass all the time?

libertyonbikes! said...

is someone who drives a car two hours to ride a bike two hours really a cyclist? when you live
by mountains, sure you ride a mountain bike, and when you're surrounded by roads, ride a road bike, in a flat city - single or fixed is fine. one ride with the local 'road club' and i had flashbacks to when i tried out for
freshman football - now i just ride wherever i need to go. nothing like getting buzzed by an
suv with loaded racks.....

Camp Cupboard said...

Snob, I thought once mentioned cycling heaven being NYC
(maybe you said "NYC without cars", but still)?
Getting tired of waking up at 4:45 to go in circles through the park?

ant1st said...

Critical Ass - I did the same thing, got rid of my computer. It's a great way to increase fun and shave weight.

W.M.Deez Nuts said...

If knog frogs are "hipster cysts" then what are blogs...hipster cries for attention?

Blogs are the tattoos for the aughts...everyone has one and only a handful are really well done.

Anonymous said...

I thought cyclocross was about going drunker than everyone ells

Anonymous said...

Wesley Willis! He headbutted me a couple of times. He also made really great line drawings of Chicago. RIP

Hank Hillclimber said...

Move To Louisville. I did. Much Better craphole, and nowhere near new jersey. It's like the New York for people who hate New York.

Jonathan said...

I'm in JPD's camp. Living in Phoenix where it's normally 108 degrees in the Summer the Fall, Winter, and Spring are when you ride. I can't wait till October!!!

Commiecanuk said...

So September is the end of the cycling season? WTF am I doing riding in December across the frozen tundra?

Cris Carmichael:

"...to increase power, ride really hard for a while, they take it easy, then ride really hard, ...that'll be $400."

Surly Bastard said...

"Coaches ruined road racing ..."

Just my opinion but the influence of professional coaching has brought in the "pro-style" of tactical racing at even the lowest levels of racing (where I reside) that means you only work hard if you're stupid, make sure you sit in and eat everybody else's lunch and fake it until you're ready for the sprint - in other words be like Levi.

And gee I thought cross was my private club. I better go lock the door before that CC guy gets in with his heart rate monitor, lactate testing machine and wattage monitor.

The best thing about cross: the best and fastest always win ...

Hannah said...

Snob, please don't even talk about leaving New York.

Mongo Pusher said...

Casey Kasem !

Surly Bastard said...

Anon 1:56 ...

Drunker than everybody else?

Podium!

Lucky 7 said...

Ditto that Hank.


A

bikesgonewild said...

...sounds like "so what now ???...'couching' & the end of summer" might be a better, more appropriate title for some of us...

Ace Frehley said...

all you haters suck my rock 'n' roll nutballs

Jim said...

RTMS - nice post, but you really need to translate the buddha-like words of the coaches into English:

Now that I have the sub-nine-hour Leadville 100 monkey off my back,

"I was an elite cyclist. And don't you f***in forget it. If you do, I'll whack you on the forehead with this great big beltbuckle I got for doing sub-9 at Leadville, and that'll be as close as you ever get to one. So for now, how 'bout you worry about getting the "Just finish this beginner class one lap race" monkey off your back, and I'll worry about the big stuff?"

rather than completely racking your bike for the fall months and watching college football, hang on to some of that fitness

"Hey roadies... wanna know a secret? You're going to get FAT FAT FAT!!! if you don't listen to my every word as if it fell unmolested from God's lips. Does this prey on your anxieties? Well, a little food will make it better. Here, have some ham, swine."

Fortunately, I live in Colorado

"Other than a select few of you who live in Girona or Tuscany, you're in cycling hell and I'm in cycling heaven. I get to choose between Aspen or Boulder. You get to choose between pitchfork, or brimstone! Ha ha ha! Man, life is sweet."

Become part of the fastest growing division of cycling

"The fastest growing division other than 'Former Lance teammates suspended for two years by WADA', anyhow."

folks who finished up their main goals for the season

"The rest of you oinkers who did not upgrade to Cat 2 or win SuperWeek can skip the rest of this article and go back to your ham... "

focusing on some key elements will help you get the most out of your cyclocross season

"Winning the local championship and a podium at Nats for those of you who made Cat 2. Getting drunk and fat on Belgian beer for the rest of you."

Once you feel rested and have had that cabin fever like itch or desire to get back on the bike,

"If you feel like you need to ride your bike more, race cross, and that will make you not want to ride your bike any more. Cures that embarassing itch quicker than Vagisil."

Summer has been great, but it's not going to last much longer, so don't let these precious warm-weather weekends pass you by.

"You're too much of a pussy to train through the adverse weather, much less enjoy it. So you better ride now, Shirley, before the temp drops into the 60's."

I don't have all my trips figured out, but I'm definitely going to spend some time riding with Lance Armstrong in Aspen...

"Did I mention that in addition to living in Cycling Heaven, my friends are all fabulous? Well, they are. Much more fabulous than yours."

Commiecanuk said...

SCREW training. I want to buy a training book that makes me faster by cheating and buying more expensive bikes.

UCI rules should remove 10s from your final TT time for every $1000 spent above $3000.

Teach me how to draft cars and make up doping excuses, like Tyler.

Commiecanuk said...

Jim said:

"The fastest growing division other than 'Former Lance teammates suspended for two years by WADA', anyhow."

Gold! Jerry, Gold!

Andrew said...

very good, very funny...

i hate the idea of junk miles - riding bikes is never junky to me

question, is there any kind of cyclocross riding that ISN'T a race or preparing for one?

anon 2:11 said...

Not particularly, no, get's me up out of the saddle in a big hurry so I attack a lot.

Critical Ass said...

Commie,

I am a coach and I am holding a 2-day car-drafting clinic. Basically, the participants will take turns drafting a variety of motor vehicles such as my Volkswagen and my buddy's 4-Runner. Truck-drafting wil be covered by our instructional film, "Breaking Away".

Cost is $3500 per participant, not including meals, hotel, or air fare to Denver.

andrew rosenberg said...

cyclocross rocks..even urban cyclocross aka courier work/bike mess.

Commiecanuk said...

I have a neighbor, who we call up here, "the neighbour", who has a custom Guru Geneo. This is a $5500 frame, custom made carbon monocoque, which is French for "single chicken". Wait, it makes less sense...this guy is a runner, and he only rides this bike on sunny days in July, that's it. The whole bike is like $12 grand, and last week he tells me he's getting Campy Super Retard. When I talk to him, I don't really hear his words, but rather just see this blurry image.

Ok, it's cheaper than drugs.

Commiecanuk said...

Critty,

Do you offer lessons on the "full Cinzano'? I hear this is more difficult in the era of C02 cartridges, I've just been aiming for the eyes or testicles, but my form is just not professional.

Faceless Ghost said...

"The best thing about cross: the best and fastest always win ..."

Except when he flats.

Canadian Trawler said...

commie

you sound like a hater....of those with more cash then yourself

Grow a set, short some stock and go buy yourself a new $$$$ toy... greed is good, so I am told.

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk...re: the guru geneo...is that the model named after gino vannelli...

...while in most canadian/american exchanges, canada usually gets the short end of the stick, ya gotta admit that foisting ol' gino off on the american public was a real coup, albeit a quick one on this side of the border...

Boz said...

Jim - Nice summarizalation of the coaching situation. CC is just like day old hash, reheated and boring. Lance, Lance, Lance. Hollywood's probably getting tired of LA, so it's back to the pelaton.

cornhole said...

aw fuck

Joe said...

Be afraid of your inner Jan Ulrich.

Strayhorn said...

Most of the mountain bikes in Chapel Hill are used to ride on the sidewalk, dodging around peds. No bell needed, the "rurr!" sound of the lugged tires on the pavement is warning enough.

People ride these things in the dirt? Outside the city limits? Amazing. Where do they go for beer and such?

frilly said...

Jim that was classic.

Ranks right up there with your assessment of Michael Ball and Rock Racing that you did in January.

Corey said...

I feel for you, being from the Northeast and now living in Colorado. My advice is do whatever you have to and move out here. I just rode Monarch Crest two weekends ago and am riding Kenosha Pass this weekend. I haven't run into Carmichael or Armstrong yet though, bummer...

leroy said...

If I wanted to embrace my inner jock, I'd give myself a hug after swallowing my underwear.

But the thing is, I just don't have any desire to do that.

Weird, huh?

Maybe I've over-trained and am getting listless.

Jim said...

Strayhorn - To answer your question about where MTB'ers would source beer, speaking strictly from personal experience, I always found "they" would go to He's Not, or the Flying Burrito. Or maybe Top of the Hill, followed by Local 506 once "they" had their drunk on real good. Sometimes "they" would even hit up Timeout Chicken afterwards for some chick-mo and mac&cheese, or possibly hit BW3 for additional beer and 10 cent chickenlegs on Tuesdays. Yeah, those mountain bikers did some badazz mountain biking and beer drinking in Chapel Hill, back in the day. But everything was cooler then. For example, we knew Michael Jordan as a pro basketball player, rather than as an old bald black guy who owns a steakhouse and a Mazda dealership.

AnnaZed said...

Can I has new material please?!

Insight! Erudition! Scathing criticism ~ sign me up for that!

Commiecanuk said...

Gino was nothing, it was all a very sophisticated anti-culture plot to destabilize the US government. Gino was the start, oh sure, no one minded as long as Trans Ams were selling like hotcakes, but then we stuck in Alan Thicke, Michael J. Fox, 20 years later, Bush "wins" the 2000 election, Celine Dion rules Vegas with Cirque du Soleil and John Roberts is on CNN. Coincidence?..so naive.

What's that on the table at the "Waffle House"? Maple syrup, ..yeah, suck it.

Trawler, thanks for not reinforcing stereotypes that all Canadians have a sense of humo(u)r.

Commiecanuk said...

jim...I barfed in the "restroom" of the local 506 during Sleazefest in '96, did they clean it up yet?
...and stray, the C-H side walks are still for power-walkers, dammit.

ant1st said...

Snobby - I would recommend moving to Atlanta. Nice roads, mountains close by, great mtn biking, and enough hipsters to maintain your blog but not enough to ruin your life.

broomie said...

I've decided that I like Surly Bastard.

My coach can beat up Chris Carmichael.

canadian trawler said...

commie

the humo(u)r was implicit....do I have to add a smiley all the time for clarification?

time to go ride my SRM, Campag festooned Marinoni Chrono

oops :)

Anonymous said...

As a fellow denizen of this here craphole, I found this to be one of the funniest snob posts ever.

I think I could probably beat up Chris Carmichael myself. And I am about 100 lbs.

bikesgonewild said...

...cc & i'm addressing the canadian one, not the colorado armstrong one...

...knew someone had the sense to see the 'big picture' & i think the wool has been pulled over so many eyes that we can talk kinda openly about the "bill shatner experiment" w/out raising any wool encrusted eyebrows around here...

...wayne & schuster never really got past ed sullivan's 'really big sheow' but we also had the lorne green years...hell, even the great american political pundit mort sahl was born in quebec...

...& where would these guys be w/out years of guy lombardo at new year's...that part of the plot was so well 'orchestrated' that the band was called the 'royal canadians' & nobody caught on...

...then there's howie mandel...ok, not so much...

...but the fact is, while the american economy is going, as they say "in the tank" (a quaint colloquialism considering the price of gas down here), the truth is, it's being siphoned off slowly into canadian pockets through the entertainment biz & when we've got enough, china has promised to sell america to little old canada...

...heh, heh, heh...& payback's a bitch...

frilly said...

Anybody see Fox Sports, its official. Lance is coming back but it doesn't say what team.

Anonymous said...

To add to what Trilly said, I think it is deliciously ironic that Lance is resuming cycling at age 36 while Bobby Julich is opting to retire.

Anonymous said...

Lance on Rock Racing maybe?

bikesgonewild said...

...& btw, for yesterday's anon 1:04pm, who was so sure mr julich had ridden for u.s. postal...

..."do your due diligence- He did ride for US Postal...check the facts, son"...wtf ???...

...here are the real facts, ah, son...a list of bobby julich's pro cycling teams, just to keep you better informed...
...Spago - '92...
...Chevrolet Sheriffs - '94...
...Motorola - '95 -'96...
...Cofidis -'97 -'99...
...Crédit Agricole - '00 -'01...
...Telekom - '02 -'03...
...Team CSC - '04 -'08...
...CSC-Saxo-Bank - '08 - into retirement & perhaps a job as a director & mentor w/ team saxo-bank...

...now you can be an "expert"...

...just sayin'...

Jim said...

CommieCanuck - I wondered where you'd become a commie, now I realize you spent time in Chapel Hill. That'd turn anybody into a commie... or a militia member. Jesse Helms used to have a whole comedy schtick built around that. Yeah, Russ Meyer Sleazefest... I still can't get my head around what a great time that was.

As for your barf, that's around the time I was down there, so i have no idea what they've done with it. I suspect Performance got wind of it and is using the color as a pattern on one of their jerseys. Oh yeah, here it is:

http://www.performancebike.com/shop/profile.cfm?SKU=25100&subcategory_ID=1110

Strayhorn said...

commiecanuck implored thus:

I barfed in the "restroom" of the local 506 during Sleazefest in '96, did they clean it up yet?

Lately they've been using that storefront as the Obama HQ, so my guess would be "no."


...and stray, the C-H side walks are still for power-walkers, dammit.

Since the town pulled up all the benches to prevent their use by the bums, er, the sainted homeless, the newly-wide sidewalks are now full of students on dept-store bikes with a cell phone in one hand and a coffee in another. I think the walkers all went to University Mall.

On the other hand, the LBS currently has a $6,000 mountain bike in their window. I was amazed to see it. I guess the MTB crowd now has their own version of the Serotta. If Serottas are the province of dentists and lawyers, who buys a needlessly expensive MTB?

Inquiring minds want to know.

AnnaZed said...

On the other hand, the LBS currently has a $6,000 mountain bike in their window.

Wait, what make is that bike, because I know where they can get LOTS more expensive mountain bikes that THAT! Jeez.

snorris said...

hahaha. Coaches are awesome.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0701056/quotes

AnnaZed said...

NYT cover story with pic:

http://tinyurl.com/Lance-Returns-CRAZY

Return of the Lance machine (as if it never left). I guess that he has to pay his home water bill:

http://tinyurl.com/lance-water-use-CRAZY

somehow.

Anonymous said...

81st!

Anonymous said...

Manicallday,

I lived in DC for years and don't recall there being any legal off-road biking anywhere near town. What trail is this of which you speak? Anyway -- you should get off your pooper-hole and do some trail maintenance if they're in lousy shape. Hook up with your local off-road advocacy group, the Maryland Off-Road Enthusiasts (I'm pretty sure they've got a formidable presence even in downtown DC) and get something done...

Eric B said...

Manicallday,

got to more-mtb.org. We got the locations on trails. You can get on a group ride and let someone else take the spiderwebs.

And also, legal nightriding 4 nights a week! during those dark winter days!

bklyn74 said...

Map out my day trips, you say. . .

1. Nyack.

Ok, all done. I too am making a plan to get out of New York Shitty.

DirtnapLife said...

I only ride "Junk Miles"!

I wish they would finish the Fresh Kills landfill park in Staten Island, so I can ride "Junk Miles" on actual junk.

jelliot said...

Podium for my age group!

manicallday said...

I ride the Fort Dupont trails. And yes... I do participate in trail maintenance whenever I am summoned. However, I am serious about the spiders, those things were ridiculous. I don't think that I will ever get used to having spiders on me.

manicallday said...

Oh...and I rather that people stay across the bridge. I really don't like most of the people in D.C., so it really works out for me. But there's plenty of legal riding over the Anacostia. We have pretty good downhills and nice single tracks - if you know where to look. It is just that most people are afraid the S.E. so they stay over the bridge, and we stay hipster free.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 12:50

meet me at the corner of sidney and green where i'll shove my horn bike up yer ass.

Scrooge said...

I like it....a hipster cyst enema

Norman said...

Ugh. Banning lycra from CX would be a good start. Also, banning the UCI from CX.

S.K. said...

"If I wanted to embrace my inner jock, I'd give myself a hug after swallowing my underwear."

Leroy is my new BFF forever.

flatulent fox said...

my trainer warned me that my beer intake put me over the top, now weighing 200. my carbon fiber bike is bowing when i hamme rin the straightaways...

Anonymous said...

you are no fox, even if you are flatulent....

Yaraslav Popovych said...

Gerchof, Since Mr Robbie is gone and Numero Uno boy is going to get his arse dragged all around the alps by Mellow Johhny on a tall bike, I need cheering up,thank you for some home grown culture

Andy Pany said...

I draft trucks as they create bigger holes and go up hills at about the right speed. Big downfall in this tactic is that you must focus big time on their brake lights or OUCH

Foghorn Leghorn said...

CommieCanuk

monocoque which is French for "single chicken"
may be the funniest thing I've read all day.

mander said...

I like drafting trucks for the reasons Andy mentioned, but also because (counterintuitively, perhaps) it's a really safe place to be in city traffic. They can't stop anywhere near as fast as a car, and there is an anti-idiocy bubble around them created by motorists' fear of getting hit by a fucking truck.

oldFonzie said...

I thought all youse guys in New York flew to the Pyrenees for day tripping.

Commiecanuk said...

Chapel Hill? C-H was for yuppie pussies, I lived in North Durham, or, the Lebanon as I remember it, right near "XXX video". Uncle Jesse threated to build a fence around us to keep the liberals in, meanwhile outside of that fence, few saw flush toilets.

C-H's only redeeming quality was the massage parlor on Franklin street.

Low sperm count Johnnie said...

My winter training is going to mimic Lance's winter training just post retirement. I am going to pork every B-list celebri-slut I can sweet talk into caressing my one real ball. It's gonna fucking rock!

Treespeed said...

Shill.

Anonymous said...

hey Surly Bastard!
It doesn't take the influence of "pro level coaching" to make racers in the lower categories into wheelsucking, negative racing idiots. The higher categories are pretty good at this these days as well, now that upgrading has become more about politics, less about results. They pretty much come to the sport with those abilities already . . . It's kind of like watching third graders play soccer; ALL of them chase the ball, positions be damnned.
Also, would you mind making me a list of the "right" reasons to race 'cx, so I can check off the reasons that apply to me, just to be sure I am "Surly Bastard Approved"?
Thanks.

Cyrille said...

I personally find the whole fixed gear trend funny. There are about 3% of people who ride them and have actual skills, the rest just enjoy putting cards in their spokes and rolling their pant legs up. Personally I enjoy nothing more than to see folks eat it because of getting caught in the trolley tracks here in SF. The other thing I enjoy is watching posts on Craigs List for fixies for $1500 or more. U guys really are funny; and your febile attemp at becoming a "cool" roadie is not working! This web site rocks

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