Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Innovation and Intimidation

Now that October's here, the temperature is finally dropping in New York City, which is good news for the many thousands of crotches that commute by bicycle here every day. And already the colors of autumn are beginning to show themselves--at least in the form of odd behavior. But while commuting is certainly becoming more pleasant from a groinal perspective, it is not without its perils. Here's the current climate out on the streets:



Not every bicycle industry innovator goes to Interbike. Here we see an entrepreneur field-testing a helmet phone prototype in Prospect Park. My guess is this product is in the very early stages of development, since it appears only to be compatible with flip-phones, and the helmet itself only offers limited ventilation. Hopefully by the time this comes to market it will incorporate such features as helmet mirror caller ID display, a handlebar-mounted QWERTY keyboard, and an integrated microphone/motocross chin guard.



As we all know, bicycle companies never die--they just change hands. Witness quintessential American bicycle manufacturer Schwinn's current incarnation as the nostalgia arm of Dorel Industries; pioneering BMX manufacturer Mongoose's position as the BMX and crappy department store mountain bike arm of, uh, Dorel Industries; and the graveyard full of living-dead brand names that is bikesdirect.com. It's surprising then that we have yet to see the return of Ross, since resurrecting their coveted Apollo (pictured above) seems like a no-brainer. (And by "no-brainer" I mean you'd have to be completely bereft of brains to do it.) Sure, it's not as impractical as the Raleigh Chopper, but it's close. In fact, shortly after taking this photo I considered liquidating all my assets (I'm invested heavily in Pistas and Chris King headsets) and purchasing Ross myself, since the name seems to be languishing in Farmingdale. Ultimately, though, given the unstable financial climate at the moment I decided against it. Though I am making some tentative forays into mountain bike pie plates.



Everybody seems to have decided that I'm Jewish (even though in reality I practice my own religion which is a combination of ancestor worship and Scientology peppered with Jainism), but I'll just say that you don't have to be Jewish to be moved by the dulcet sounds of the Shofar (a.k.a. the "Jewish Kazoo"). Indeed, seeing as how it's Rosh Hashanah (a.k.a. the "Jewish New Year") traffic in New York has been pretty light and the horn-blowing of cars has been replaced by the horn-blowing of the faithful. The young men pictured above were channeling their inner Sonny Rollins by playing their horn out in the street, and I was even inspired to make two Jewish New Year resolutions: 1) stop taking photos that list towards the left; and 2) record an album entitled either "Shofar Colossus" or "Shofar, So Good."



I held true to my resolution just a few blocks later when I took this relatively level photograph. Ironically, there's been a real explosion in the number of SUV clubs in New York lately, despite the fact that we're in the middle of both an energy crisis and a financial crisis. This seems kind of like starting a competitive eating club in the middle of a famine. Even more ironically, this particular member of the SMASH NYC SUV club is neither driving an SUV nor is he even from NYC. (At least according to his license plate.) Intrigued, I made a point of visiting the club's Myspace page, where I learned the following:

1) They have an aversion to haters:



2) They have an affinity for posteriors:

(censored version)


(artsy sepia version--censorship not necessary)

If you share these sentiments and you're interested in joining, you might want to drop them an email and find out if SUV ownership is indeed a prerequisite.


Sadly, the sense of well-being I felt after hearing the Shofar was short-lived, as I was nearly taken out by a truck full of haterz. "U-turn" doesn't adequately describe what this truck did, since it sounds too benign. "Ü-turn" does a slightly better job, not only because the umlauts give it that heavy metal menace, but also because if you imagine me as one of those dots then the "Ü" is a pretty accurate diagram of what almost happened. Having narrowly survived, I turned in order to see who had tried to kill me and took the above (level!) photograph. As you can see, there was a wild breakfast party taking place in the cab.

Also, a closer look reveals a Nonplussed Truck Driver Looking Straight at BikeSnobNYC:



At this point I think it's worth taking a look at how the people I've encountered over the past week have been reacting to me, as you can see from this Nonplussed Triptych:


This triptych is in chronological order from left to right, and you'll note that as we move into the present the discernible consternation seems to increase. I take this to mean that my presence is only becoming more infuriating to the rest of the world. This conclusion is also reinforced by the fact that the most recent Nonplussed person I encountered did indeed try to kill me with a truck. I can only hope I live to be scowled upon another day (much less to ring in another Jewish New Year).


My faith shaken, I abandoned my Jewish New Year resolution and went back to taking photographs that list to the left. This particular rider caught my eye because of the Kosmo.com messenger bag, which I was surprised to see still in use. I immediately grew nostalgic for a time when Kozmo.com and Urbanfetch.com competed to deliver pretty much anything to your home via bicycle--including DVD players and pints of ice cream. Suddenly, the streets were full of messengers with health benefits and stock options, and a short-lived Courier Renaissance ensued. Shockingly though, despite the public's insatiable appetite for DVD players and ice cream, this business model didn't work, and both companies went out of business. (In retrospect the real reason for the failure was that, while both companies could provide you with everything you'd need for a night of pot smoking, neither was legally able to sell you the pot itself.) Personally, I think it's a great tragedy that both companies died before the Fixed-Gear Era, as they doubtless would have found an eager new labor pool of Pista riders. Alas, all that remains for these Pista riders to deliver is business correspondence, food, and, of course, pot. (When it comes to bicycle delivery, pot is an evergreen.)



Having gotten that ticket not too long ago, I can vouch for the importance of both following traffic laws (at least when cops are around) and not carrying illegal substances with you, for had I been holding any "Wednesday weed" I might have received more than just a summons. On the other hand, perhaps if I were to ditch the Ironic Orange Julius Bike in favor of a motor scooter, I could ride with impunity. Especially if I were to adopt the cunning "stolen plate" ploy. This particular rider was flouting traffic laws with abandon, and the only limiting factor was her 49cc engine.

Of course, her engine was the only thing that was small, and I have a feeling that even without an SUV she'd find herself more than welcome at the SMASH NYC SUV club.

106 comments:

kale said...

po

kale said...

di

kale said...

um

Mark said...

Podium Whore

Anonymous said...

huh. fourth.

Anonymous said...

damn by that i meant fifth.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

top ten

Sprocketboy said...

I didn't realize that Kestrel had gotten stranded on the Island of Misfit Toys that is bikesdirect.com. The horror! The humanity...

AH said...

I always assumed you were Zoroastrian.

Anonymous said...

If i'm not mistaken don't jainists where little to no clothing and walk around with brooms infront of them to sweep away bugs? if so identifing bike snob may be easier than predicted...

kale said...

I got my tzitzit caught in my chain yesterday. No wonder bike riding is banned! My bad.

Anonymous said...

I leap from funny disguise name of Gerchof Sirdribeldik (name I stole from great American writer Bobke) and offer in honor of improving diplomatic relations with arrogant American bike snobs. To help you to learn our language: if you clear your throat and make for to spit giant green object across room, and say Hwee all at same time you will speak most proximal to 'fuck you' in Russian.

Now to excuse me while I clear my throat a littles....

Mark said...

Kale, you forgot ho and then you could get your fingers tatooed!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, is that a stolen plate or was the plate stolen??? That is the question.

Maybe we will see 24" spinner versions of the AYHSMB rim.

kale said...

There's no room, I'll have to get that on my toes. Thanks for the idea.

Anonymous said...

An SUV club. Brilliant. All you haters can suck crabon monoxide.
Why not a public flatulence club? Fartstaz.

That guy in Prospect park is obviously a cyborg, the perfected mix of man and machine. I'm not sure, but I think there's Bluetooth involved and travel to/from the future.

Like snob, I practice my own inner religion mix that I don't like to talk about, let's just say it involves eating a tub of vaseline weekly, brillo pads and Rush Limbaug's spent odor eaters.



Lutheran.

Anonymous said...

the Chopper was my favorite bike while groing up. I could wheelie all day long on one(and did so often). sadly, I distroyed 2 of them...due to the many ungraceful wheelie landings.
and a boom box fit between the fame and seat.
and the handle bars were the right width to fit a skateboads' trucks into.
...i've been a weirdo commuter since age 14?

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's a custom vanity plate "STOLEN PLATE".

Mine says "CUSTOM".

Anonymous said...

PODI UMHO

bk jimmy said...

A feeble attempt to make sense of the owner's write-up of yesterday's Trek.

Strayhorn said...

Can't . . . resist . . . Milty Berle

You guys blow the shofar? I just give mine a $5 tip at the end of the drive.

Try the veal.

Anonymous said...

Today, I saw a dog,
Yes, a dog.
Talking to a pig,
Yes, a pig.
They were on the pavement,
Discussing Trotsky.
Not brotsky or crotsky or drotsky or frotsky.
But Trotsky.

andrew rosenberg said...

shofar? sho' nuf, blow me

Anonymous said...

But it's not an NYC SUV club, it's a SMASH NYC SUV club. Indeed, if the club is devoted to smashing NYC SUVs, which seems a noble pursuit, why not drive a sedan with New Jersey plates?

And another thing,

Man, if only we all had inner Sonny Rollinses.

Critical Ass said...

A 49cc scooter can make ANYONE'S butt look big. This calls for WSD.

Anonymous said...

bk jimmy -- your research is excellent, but imcomplete.

If you look closely, you will notice that the tricked out Trek's water bottle is from the 2007 TA Century.

Honestly, that is soooo last year.

Treespeed said...

You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

–verb (used with object) 1. to render utterly perplexed; puzzle completely.
–noun 2. a state of utter perplexity.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Origin: 1575–85; (n.) < L nōn plūs lit., not more, no further, i.e., a state in which nothing more can be done]


—Synonyms 1. perplex, confuse, confound, disconcert.

They all look more annoyed than perplexed, though I guess that doesn't sound as good. And then that would make you annoying as opposed to perplexing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and a smash is something I do in the bathroom. I didn't realize they had clubs for that.

Anonymous said...

More for the non-plussed collection:

non-plussed Lance squeezes
non-plussed baby staring at BSNYC

Nonplussed BSNYC in a mirror

non-plused Wolverine look-alike looking at BSNYC

BSNYC's cat

BikeSnobNYC said...

Treespeed (a.k.a. Inigo Montoya),

Excellent point, but ever since Urchin commented that "From now on, I will be known as Nonplussed Journalist Looking Straight at BikeSnob," the name stuck as far as I was concerned.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Treespeed, I was non-plussed by your post.

Anonymous said...

"Shofar, So Good."

Almost as cool as

"Back Tuva Future."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVyyhHFKI8E

Anonymous said...

FINALLY! a post with appropriate
Wednesday content - and on a Wednesday at that!!

Anonymous said...

Only two weeks til the Canadian election, and scarcely a word in the American press about Commiecanuck's campaign for Prime Minister. He left Bloc Quebecios for the Conservative Party, and based on today's comment, he has apparently secured the all-so-crucial Icanhascheezburger endorsement. Vote for Commiecanuck...early and often.

Anonymous said...

non-plussed baby is so...so...hypnobaby.
I had to slap myself to look away.

Anonymous said...

I hate to be a hater, but I think you've got the definition of nonplussed wrong. All the people you've described as "nonplussed" so far have looked bored.

It actually means bewildered, perplexed or confused (to paraphrased some online dictionary).

Anonymous said...

The campaign has had a setback, due to the current economic crisis because of the banking failures, I have halted my campaign and urged the other party leaders to join me up in Northern Ontario in an ice fishing shack to smoke good weed.

Hopefully, that will divert attention form the whole Sarah Palin plagiarism scandal in which I was seen delivering the exact same speech, two days later, wearing the exact same heels and skirt. The responsible individuals have been sacked.

For all these obtuse references, see here.
and for another great day in Canadian justice, see here.

Daddo said...

Shofar Colossus - by BSNYC
1. Jerusalem
2. You Don't Know What Tsuris Is
3. 2nd Avenue
4. Toyt Uvde
5. Blue Zibn

Anonymous said...

What about the nonplussed Bjarne Riis from the Yaroslav Popovych link on Monday?


http://www.cyclingnews.com/news.php?id=news/2008/sep08/sep29news2

urchin said...

Far be it from me to complain about proper word use policing, but I do feel the need to defend myself--and I don't think I can take another Princess Bride requote (I think the line was actually, ironically enough, from Andre the Giant's character, so I must pay heed and Obey...)

Yes, originally nonplussed meant a state of agitation to which nothing more could be added. However, the assumption that it must mean something like completely unperturbed or unimpressed has lead to widespread use that way, and this meaning has been accepted by at least one modern English dictionary.

The beauty, the captivating quality of the NJLSABS expression is that it can actually go along with a word that means two opposite things. I am simultaneously utterly unimpressed with this scruffy blogger character in the front row, pointing his camera in the wrong direction, and I am also peering deep into recesses of time and space you could never imagine (thanks Eric K).

It is either pure luck (maybe), an odd physical appearance (apparently), or an exquisite photographic eye (um...) that keeps the snob coming up with these portraits. Perhaps only Sarah Palin is so surrounded by dumbfounded expressions from unimpressed people.

Oops. Politics.


--NJLSABS

kale said...

BSNYC is Sarah Palin? That makes me nonplussed...

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,
I've been lurking your blog for awhile and pardon my naiveness, but you really need to post a dictionary for those of us too dense to understand terms like: "Bike Salmon," "Nonplussed," and more....
I've been wondering what the true meaning of these words are for some time. Maybe you can indulge us with a BSNYC glossary of terms.
Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many more knuckleheads will post the definition of nonplussed...

Anonymous said...

Wow, that non-plussed baby is freaky!!! With just a tint of bored irritation, he/she simultaneously mocks, belittles, and intimidates me.

I also had to slap myself to look away and remind myself he/she couldn't really see me.

Oh, and Yauchzee, just read all the archived posts to get caught up. I'm up to March.

Anonymous said...

Did she pull that pastry from her cleavage? Geez, I need to step up my game.

Matt said...

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but personally, speaking just for myself, I'm plussed.

Anonymous said...

VIRGINIA!

Anonymous said...

VIRGINIA!

Anonymous said...

what a coincidence. I was walking around campus today and some girl was sportin' the "hands free jam my phone under my helmet strap" look. then I said "wtf" in my head, and went home. anyway, peace out.

Anonymous said...

that first guy has the same bluetooth as me!

bikesgonewild said...

...a' right, lessee if we can get this straight for all the podium claimers...

...cadel evans has been 2nd, twice, two years running at the 'tour'...didn't move up or down, therefore he's 'non-plussed' or 2 + 2 x 2 = 0 which equates to (-)...

...carlos sastre was 4th last year but he was 1st this year, so moving up, he's definitely 'plussed' or 4 + 1 x 2 = *1* which equates to **(+)**...

...now, contador & levi were 1st & 3rd last year but didn't get to ride this year (despite that highly intelligent t-shirt campaign for leiphiemer, which i was so sure was gonna work) therefore not having the chance to move up or down, they fall into the category of like 'so non-plussed' or *1* + 3 (4) x 2 - 1 = big 0 which equates to (- - + - -)...

...bernhard kohl finished a lowly 31st last year but jumped up to 3rd this year, therefore he's like so plussed it's not even funny, but then again his team is finito so he's also like so non-plussed at the same time or 31 + 3 + ($$$ - ???) x 2 = 3 - ? which equates to (+ - + - +) or (wtf)...

...anyway, i hope i've helped in not only better defining "non-plussed" but i think my 'easy to follow' *formula* makes it easier for all you podium chasers to rate yourselves...

Luck E. 7 said...

Urchin,

Yes, totally agree on all accounts. After today's post, I'm wondering if NJLSABS is ALSO contemplating the deeper meaning of "Wanna Lick?" I know I am, cuz that sista's got the King Sized TRUNK.


A

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

nonplussed dog looking straight at BSNYC

nonplussed dog looking straight at BSNYC (photo listing to the left)

nonplussed guy in corpse paint looking straight at BSNYC holding nonplussed polydactyl cat looking straight at BSNYC

slightly nonplussed phil liggett holding nonplussed wallaby

bk jimmy said...

leroy,

sorry for any oversights--I was preoccupied by the fact that BSNYC seems unclear on the meaning of nonplussed! Somebody should bring it his attention.

alex said...

in response to yesterday's post, here is a picture of another bike with diverse and excessive components that i spotted in boston recently.
full suspension, rev x, homemade disc wheel, seatpost mounted bottle cages, gnarly decals.
also, here's a picture of the bike with its very plussed owner.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Alex,

I love the reverse brake mullet and the extra rotor on the bars!

--RTMS

AnnaZed said...

Alex, now that guy you have got to love. You can tell he loves his ride, nohomo. I can not begin to comprehend what that seat post thingy is though.

Daddo said...

and somehow the liqour store makes sense

(was that in some way, NOT PC?)

(and Andrew is not the me after I was daddo but before i was daddo again)

bikesgonewild said...

...alex 6:14pm...full suspension *plus* a suspension seatpost on a 'road bike'...nice touch...

...as for the homemade disc wheel...didn't we ascertain here, months ago, that those were really just big, double sided pie plates ???...

...however, i'd say the owner's got game...he digs it & he's smilin' about it & tha's what counts...

Anonymous said...

Nonplussed correcting douche bags.(Actually, the word, a noun, is the term for a vaginal lavage device).

bikesgonewild said...

...annazed...yer a hip bike chick...surely you've seen a 4 pivot, parallelogram suspension post which relies on a central block of elastomer for it's dampening & rebound action...

...cane creek makes a version...

AnnaZed said...

bikesgonewild ...no, no I have not seen this, but I assume that you mean these bad boys:

http://www.canecreek.com/suspension-seatposts.html

I hate, really truly HATE all suspension seat posts. They are for wimps, they bottom out anyway (ouch!) and they SUCK.

That said, I still think Alex's guy looks so happy that you can't fault him. Might be his proximity to the liquor store though that is making him smile.

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Language evolving before our eyes.

bikesgonewild said...

...that's them, annazed...sissy sticks...but don't tell the guy in the foto i called 'em that...he's diggin' life & i consider that a pluss (+)...

...even if he's boozin', he gets props because he's cruisin'...

...thought about one for my cross-bike, which is my regular dirt ride but even at my advanced age/old fart-edness, i didn't have the heart to wuss out...

Anonymous said...

You can't run for prime minister, exactly.

And as for ice fishing shacks in Northern Ontario, I can understand going inside to spark up, but black fly season is over, and ice is some while off. Get outside! Smells less bad.

AnnaZed said...

It isn't just that seat post suspension is for pussies, but it's for pussies who DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A BIKE.

Sorry, for shouting, but even "older riders" know how to use their legs like suspension to ride over small obstacles and not just plunk their asses down on a bike like they were sitting on a bar stool. Except Alex's friend I guess, bless his heart.

kale said...

I love how the seat goes up to his chest. Unless he's stretching his calves...

I have a feeling that the rotor is going to be retrofitted as a neuveau pipeplate, seeing as how much of a rarity they are in MA.

Anonymous said...

Got mashed potato
Ain't got no T-bone

Anonymous said...

JUMPED!!!

alex said...

yeah i can only assume that the brake rotor will somehow find its way on to the rev x, he told me that the bike was a work in progress.
also - about the liquor store, the guy had no bag with him and put his pint and a can of beer into the back pockets of his jersey when he came out.
ps check out all the cables in front of the headtube. many of them don't go anywhere at all. maybe he knows something that i don't

bikesgonewild said...

...i think his side job as a secret ninja warrior is the reason for carrying what we might assume is a superfluous disc rotor...

...highly sharpened & honed steel edge, perhaps not noticed at first glance ???...& that smiling face denoting an easy demeanor ???...don't let it fool you...it could very well be that this man is a highly trained killing machine disguised as a neighborhood eccentric...ready to spring into action to protect his employer's store...

...that or maybe his l-b-s just gave him a free rotor..."here ya go, lionel...some dumb white kid was gonna make hisself a fixed gear bike outa his mtb...said he wasn't gonna need no brakes...ha ha, it's all yours, brother"...

...just speculatin'...

Anonymous said...

dude, that truck driver was guilty of DWC (driving while Chinese) you asshole your lucky 2B still alive

Anonymous said...

Finally some plussed diversity on this blog...

Anonymous said...

Wishiwaspithy: sorry, didn't mean to get your bloomers all in a twist. Of course everybody knows that you get to be Prime Minister of Canada by skillfully negotiating through a series of single-elimination rounds of "musical chairs." I attempted some cheap humor of placing Commiecanuck in the Conservative Party, even though you have both a Communist Party AND a Marxist-Leninist Party. ( not to mention the Marajuana Party, and my favorite, the Noe-Rhino Party -- official motto -- "From party to party til victory.") I am one of only 17 Americans even aware that you are having an election in two weeks -- I s**t you not. So cut a brother some slack, eh...you Noofie.

Anonymous said...

ha! i defy you to name 16 other americans who have any idea of anything going on politically in america jr

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that I can name all 16, but the two others I know for sure are Lindsey Lohan and Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey.

bikesgonewild said...

...i don't remember all the rules in canadian politics but i do know that the highest elected official in the land is called the ***goalie*** & no matter what team or party he represents, his motto is always "hey hosers...the puck stops here, eh ???"...

...& i think his name is usually bob or doug or pierre or something like that...

Anonymous said...

motherland has many claims to Canada and we are to annex it soon. It will be easier than annexing Krim, because at least Ukrainians know how to put up fight. You get to keep Quebec. Putin no want losers.

streepo said...

I'm one of the 17. but only because I lived within spitting distance of Canada for many years and I have a cousin named Pierre who is a goalie. However he says "la puck, she stops heeere, non?

Anonymous said...

Bob, Doug and Pierre pretty much covers 90% of the country, except that their last names are now either "Li" or "Singh".

The highest elected official is appointed from the Queen, not the British Queen, but rather the highest elected gay man in parliament. He is then referred to as the "Tim Horton", and his goal is to win the most seats in parliament and the senate, or what we call in Canada, the "double-double". When the right-wing Tory party gets this, it's referred to as the "double-double with creme".

Sorry about the lack of knowledge of Ontario ice flows, but I was raised in Toronto, and hence consider anything north of the Finch subway station frozen tundra occupied by the Inuit and bears and pie-plate hating geese.

Anonymous said...

streepo...le puck.

Anonymous said...

i am new, but why the hate for schwinn and bmx?

Anonymous said...

for those of you who need a quick up-to-speed on Canadian politics before the election, it's kinda like US politics 8 years ago: we're going to elect a guy who can't write his own speeches, wears sweater-vests, wants to cut taxes, and firmly do with conviction...whatever the Republicans tell him to do. On the other sides, we have guy who can't speak English and makes no sense in French, a guy who represents unions and who has admitted in public to riding a bike, and a woman from the Green party who started off her stellar campaign calling the tax payers "stupid".

Makes Sarah Palin look like a genius.

the3:00book said...

Nonplussed triptych:)

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuck, I am a sweater-vest enthusiast.

Anonymous said...

John,
I've read the archives and it still doesn't bring you all the way to fully understanding what BSNYC meant with the term "bike salmon" (and a few other terms). I assume this means some newby "nonplussed" biker, that isn't very attentive and can't ride a straight line on a bike...but, I can't be sure.

Anonymous said...

Hint; How do salmon swim?

Anonymous said...

Look, I've suffered at least 5 concusions in my life, and I could just look at the words "bike salmon" and figue it out.

Anonymous said...

By moving their tails from side to side?

Anonymous said...

"bike salmon"

hmmm


"bike salmon"

OOOHHH!

Anonymous said...

tail over flipper?
or
flipper over tail?

Luck E. 7 said...

Sorry Yauchzee, but it is not possibleto re-read the entire archive in the 20 hrs and 15 minutes between your posts. Do the work! At least a third of us have...

Ask Amir.


A

Anonymous said...

is there something about salmon? something unique? something they are known to do?

...

How does this relate to someriding a bike?

...

Anonymous said...

ya...what he said!

Luck E. 7 said...

C'mon Yauchzee! You're from IDAHO. You know this!! In what direction do salmon swim to spawn? Consider that dynamic as it would metaphorically relate to people riding bicycles on the street. Specifically, note the direction of travel relative to the side of the street being ridden.

Well?


A

Daddo said...

jeez, lucky, you're spoiling the excitement...


...ok if he's gonns give it a way. A bike salmon wears a jersey in that pink-salmony colored, salmon color...

wear your skid lid, 12:43

Luck E. 7 said...

Oh damn, daddo. Yes, of course you are right.

A bike salmon is anyone wearing an oddly tinted flesh-colored jersey, or anyone from Jersey riding a bike without a shirt on.


A

Anonymous said...

daddo,
got my lid on now.
always
and forever
thamks

Anonymous said...

Thank you people's poet!!!

Signed: The Youth of England (1982)

Anonymous said...

Pollution
All around
Sometimes up
And sometimes down
But always around.
Pollution, are you coming to my town?
Or am I coming to yours?
We're on different buses, pollution
But we're both using petrol
Bombs.

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk...i've been having a little trouble finding a publisher down here for my new & original comedy book titled "...you just might be a hoser, eh ???"...

...couple of examples...

..."if you knew who tim horton was before he ever sold a donut in his life...you just might be a hoser, eh ???"...

..."if you've got more than two snowmobiles up on blocks in your front yard during the summer months...you just might be a hoser, eh ???"...

..."if you can field dress a moose while drinking a case of labatt's & you've never heard of sarah palin...you just might be a hoser, eh ???...

...& finally "if yer mom can kick any american quote - unquote 'hockey mom's' ass while not only telling ya who won the cup for the last 50 years but the lady bing award as well...you just might be a hoser, eh ???"...

...can't for the life of me figure out why these guys won't jump on this, eh ???...

Anonymous said...

"Wild Breakfast Party..."

Wow... a meeting of so many cultural staples...

The Breakfast Club...
The Smash NYC SUV Club...
And the Joy Luck Club

Awesome

Anonymous said...

Is the Beast of the Apocalypse at hand?

A track bike made out of Solid Gold:

http://www.aurumania.com

Anonymous said...

The Ross reference made me think of a Columbia I had as a kid. A little Googling led me here:

http://www.columbiamfginc.com/columbia_history.html

where's there's a nice company timeline, very detailed for the years 1843-1900 but a little skimpy on the post 1900 info.

It also contains some nice prose such as:

"Chain was the biggest problem with cycles. Men attempted to break them for sport."