Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Rest-Day Roundup: Stealing Seconds and Stealing Bikes

Yesterday's Tour de France stage coverage was inspirational for a number of reasons. Firstly, there was Saunier Duval's impressive one-two finish, proving once again that there is no "I" in "team." (Though there is a "moi" in "chamois.") Secondly, Cadel Evans (whose collarbones are only intact after yesterday's crash because they have both been replaced by titanium) proved he is in fact a great stage racer by taking the Maillot Jaune by one second. (Anybody can blast his way up a mountainside in a distateful display of power, but it takes a certain dignified restraint to sidle up behind people and pilfer seconds the way Cadel does, like an uninvited party guest nabbing cocktail weiners.) And most importantly, about midway through the coverage, the new Mogo Scooter commercial "dropped."

Finally, something I can use! I love prefabricated fads, and this one's so prefab the sneakers they bought for the photo shoot still have the tag on them. The Mogo has a bicycle's lack of portability and lacks a drivetrain, so it's essentially a skateboard you can't bring on the bus and a bicycle you can't ride for long distances. Fun! Of course, the bike-based scooter already came and went in the 80s, but I honestly feel the Mogo will succeed where the Miniscoot failed, mostly because the manufacturer has handily dispensed with all my reservations in their FAQ:

What is it like to ride a mogo?
The mogo motion is like no other type of ride out there. If you enjoy bicycling, skateboarding, surfing, skiing or any other type of cruising, you are sure to love the mogo. On a mogo, you blaze at your own speed, set your style, and dazzle the world with your mogo skills.

Do I need to be an athlete to ride a mogo?
Hardly. All are welcome in mogo nation. Anyone from your little brother to your grandma can enjoy the freedom and excitement of a mogo. Riding styles and speed is totally up to you.

Who invented the mogo?
The mogo was the invention of a groovy group of folks looking for a fun way to enjoy kicking around town and relaxing. Riding a mogo is a great way to be seen on campus or around town.

Can I get a workout from riding a mogo?
The endorphin rush is just one of the many buzzes you get from a mogo. You will notice from the moment you stand on your mogo and start pushing that muscles throughout your legs back and abs are used to propel and steer you mogo.


Yes, take it from me, there is no greater endorphin rush than the one you get from looking like a complete dork. By the way, here's a photo of the "groovy group of folks" who invented the Mogo:


I must admit though that I was disappointed by the results of yesterday's stage. I'd hate to bring my personal biases to bear here, but the truth is I'm rooting for Carlos Sastre. You may recall Sastre's pacifier-in-mouth mountaintop victory salute in the 2003 Tour:


Sastre made this bizarre gesture in honor of his infant daughter, so I'm pulling for him now in the hope that he'll repeat the salute in a more age-appropriate manner. I figure the kid's probably experimenting with "bathroom" words by now and maybe just learning to write, so if we're lucky Sastre will win a mountain stage this year and cross the line holding a blackboard with the word "doody" scrawled on it.

In the meantime, today is a rest day, so I'd like to turn my attention to more important matters. And what could be more important than a bike theft? Recently I received the following email about a missing bicycle in the Brooklyn area:

On June 9th the bicycle was transfered to a UPS truck for delivery in Brooklyn, but grew feet an walked off the truck.

Bicycle is a red 2007 Cinellii Super Corsa 58cm with 2007 Campagnolo Record gruppo (Silver hubs and alloy crankset 172.5). Saddle is a Ti Brooks Swallow honey in color. 120mm Salsa stem (Decals removed) and a Deda 215 Shallow 46cm outside to outside with Cinelli natural cork tape finished with tape colors that match the Cinelli logo. Aspire Velo Tech Italian Bike Mirror on barend. King Cages stainless bottle cages that have been polished along with the stainless button head mounting bolts. The cable stops for the downtube are polished Shimano (I think they look better than the plastic Campy). Wheels are 36h Record hubs with Ambrosio Excellence rims, two cross front and three cross rear, and Vittoria rubber (Red stripes and 23mm tires, Michelin tubes have extra long valves which stands out on the low profile rims.). All other parts are Campagnolo Record Ultra Narrow 10 speed (Headset, pedals, cassette (Big, for the mountains), seatpost is carbon Record). I took the red decals off of the big chainring. Frame is missing one of the "Flying Cinelli C" buttons at the seat cluster. Front derailleur has a nick on the lower outside cage touched up with clear nail polish. Black Timbuk2 medium saddle bag with the logo removed and post strap altered so it would not rub on the Record logo and a brown leather Cinelli toestrap, w/gold logo, looped around seatrails and bag.

As you can see, this is a big loss for me and any help would be great. I am offering a reward in an effort to reclaim the bicycle.


The bicycle was apparently en route from Atlanta (which according to Wikipedia is in Georgia somewhere.) Shaken to the core, I immediately commissioned (at great expense to myself, I might add) a composite sketch of the missing bike:


Note the exquisite rendering of the Brooks Swallow saddle and the Aspire Velo Tech mirror.

Of course, after the artist had already cashed the check the victim sent me an actual photo of the bike:

Amazed as I was at how accurate the composite sketch turned out to be, I was still upset at having spent the money for nothing, so I implore all of you to keep an eye out for this bicycle and to reimburse me for my expenses from what will no doubt be a handsome reward. If you have any information please email me. And in the meantime, I advise the victim to take action against UPS, and to hire a top-notch attorney:



With a commercial like that, she's gotta be good.

105 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't care

Anonymous said...

Holy shit, I did it!

Anonymous said...

Freeeeee!


A

Laif said...

almost!

Anonymous said...

top five

Anonymous said...

you sad fucks

Anonymous said...

I had my Beach Cruiser stolen after 2 days of ownership when I was about 12 years old. I've never really recovered. Connor Murray, I blame you!!!( and Andy what's his name) That was the one thing that I had that was kinda a shiny spot in that kids life and you took it away.

P.S. Connor and Andy, if it was not you and was really Forest or some of those guys, my appologies......

TDogg said...

For a little fad history check out this site...

http://www.kickbike.com/index.php?mid=115

leroy said...

I could have been a contender....

leroy said...

But never a Contador.

Anonymous said...

well, of COURSE daniella levi won that case. her FATHER was the jury foreman, and i think i recognized her uncle morty in there too!

Simon said...

Wikipedia states that when Winston Churchill was presented with a Mogo, he said:

"Why stand when you can sit?"

Mogo's answer to an obviously rhetorical question was:

You can cruise more endorphins into your leg muscles and work your fabulous abs through your grandma and your little brother whilst being seen kicking them around town with a groovy group of folk-heads from marketing.

leroy said...

You've got to appreciate an attorney who punctuates the jury foreman's announcement with a subtle cymbal crash off camera.

I have got to get a precussionist to accompany me throughout the day to spice up the monotony.

Fold laundry? (cue ominious timpani rumble.)

Degrease chain? (bada boom!)

Check in on Bike Snob (tsssshhhh, high hat roll and snap!)

Anonymous said...

Snobby, your time off hasn't hurt your writing skill at all, but it seems to have hurt your readership.

We here in the Republic of Internetkistan have very short attention spa.... ...hey, is that pudding?

ka_Jun said...

Craptacular ambulance chaser commercial. Wow...as a friend of mine once said, "Someone has to be at the bottom of the class."

Todd said...

After reading the anally retentive description of the stolen bike before looking at the photo, my first thought was "doesn't this brake using fixster know that Campy makes carbon brake levers?"

I was just baffled that someone would put Ergo Power levers on a fixed gear conversion until I noticed the dérailleur and cassette. Oops. Silly me.

However, I do like that the owner of the stolen bike is so connected they were able to get Campagnolo to make a Super Record group just for them.

Anonymous said...

After watching that commercial, I remembered why I don't miss New Yawk.

ice cube said...

If razors were not bad enough now this? One more thing to get in the way at the skatepark. I can't wait for the tail-whip contests that send these bad boys a flyin' into the bowls!! Oh and fixies in the skatepark need to go. I realize that we don't have a velo here but a 12ft pool doesn't count.

liz said...

Can I get a workout from riding a mogo?

clearly, you cannot as I saw one of these ridiculous things locked outside of the gym.
Probably had to go workout his/her other leg.

Pack Phil said...

As soon as I get my Mogo, I'm going to take off the brakes and fenders, chop the bars, put on an aerospoke, and do bar spins all night long. Then I'll post sone pics of it to www.mogogallery.com

Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to spend my economic stimulus check on a
Dirty Dog Grim Reaper Skull Stem
for my Magna, and celebrate RTMS' return with pure performance.

Anonymous said...

Cunego!

Polygraf said...

There is a mogo pictured with bar ends, wow.
BSNY-the mad skilled rider pictured purposely left the tag on his kicks in the same fashion as the copy and paste thugs do with their timberlands.
Glad to have my lunchtime entertainment back.

Anonymous said...

"Black Timbuk2 medium saddle bag with the logo removed and post strap altered so it would not rub on the Record logo"

This douchebag deserves a Mogo.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

"There's no 'I' in team, but there is a 'me' if you look hard enough."

-David Brent

Tsuru said...

there's also "meat" in team... and "eat" and "me". Go figure.

Anonymous said...

CLAIM YOUR LANE

fro said...

yes snob. i agree tho i think he learned from watching the king Himself. unfortunately w/o them bravely wheel-sucking mere seconds apart from each other, its impossible to know who is the true champion of limp-dickedness. unleash the marten! or at least a musette filled with devil guy's vomit.

Ronsonic said...

It's a fricking "kick bike." Yeah, that's a real thing, they've been around for decades barely surviving as a weird and obscure preversion. Now they've got a marketing budget for this thing nobody ever wanted in the first place.

fro said...

betcha ms. levi coulda worked miracles for Himself not withstanding the unfortunate name confusion that would ensue.

Anonymous said...

wait ... where's the pudding?

ant1st said...

first!

Andrew said...

oh i saw that bike - but i can't remeber if it had one or both flying c buttons on the set cluster....probably not yours...

hey liz...say hi to nadine and sue for me

areUpake? said...

12:55 -

whhoooo CARES!!!

Strayhorn said...

I enjoyed Ms Levi's commercial but unfortunately the YouTube rendition omitted the crawler across the bottom with the English translation.

As far as I could tell, she was soliciting a bunch of middle-aged men for a good time. Money was mentioned.

I think she gets four diamonds from the place that provided Spitzer with his fun.

Anonymous said...

Let Levi Fight! (for your rights)

echuck said...

I live in Durango, CO. It's good to see Ron Andrews (King Cages) get some free advertising on BSNYC. Thanks to the victim for making it happen!

Anonymous said...

Mmmm...pudding.

Calvin said...

Actually my father's company produces prosthetic bones from titanium... just a little trivia!

Oh and... Holy shit! Is that woman's accent real? Man I must be spoiled with West-coast women.

dopepedaler said...

The Tour isn't the only thing on a rest day today.

Chris O'Hearn said...

Are those groovy folks in front of the Sydney Harbour Bridge ?

A background homage to Cadel Evans.

Subtle, so subtle.

Jim said...

If you enjoy bicycling, skateboarding, surfing, skiing or any other type of cruising, you are sure to love the mogo.

Really? So if I like cruising gay bars, I'll like the Mogo? How about attending Scientology seminars with the wife of everybody's favorite insane movie star? What about if I like sailing around the Carribean on a ship with Bea Arthur and a bunch of geriatrics, hitting the all-you-can-eat pudding bar *at any time of the day*? Does that also mean I'll like Mogo?

If so, then where do I sign up? I'm in!

Andrew said...

is bea still alive?

celeriac said...

those old BMX scoots are great for those two weeks in a child's life when they're not quite up to speed on balancing. Unfortunately razors are not nearly as good for that. In any case anyone over 4' should not be riding one.

If you flipped the mogo frame upside down and stuck a 36er unicycle through the headset you'd have a sweet boneshaker. I mean gearless fixie.

SAMBO said...

Line up for the Kickbike world championships.
http://www.kickbike.com/

Mr. Beattie said...

Click on "closer look" from the main Mogo page (mogoscooter . com) - the page that comes up is "getting to know the mogo".

Under specs it lists the wheel sizes 700C and 18" as having "American Valves tubes" and "CP Spokes". Not my typo, theirs.

They are properly known as "Schrader Valves" but I suppose "American Valves tubes" is sort of like "Freedom Fries" for eager Team America consumers who want to get their Mogo on.

For the record, August Schrader was a German immigrant who came to NY in 1843 from Hanover. He invented the valve design for a tire company and applied for the patent in 1893.

Anonymous said...

Let Daniela Levi ride!

Anonymous said...

Dead People Server says Bea Arthur is still alive. No status available on the pudding.

Anonymous said...

Even odder Mr. Beattie, how the hell does a metal tube and 2/3 of a wheelset weigh 22 pounds? I have a dual-suspension mountain bike that weighs as much.

I think we've finally found something gayer than roller blading!

Self-appointed expert on the subject said...

I think it was, "...never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down."

Anonymous said...

My UPS guy just rode by on a red Chinnelly.

Allez!

Allez!

j said...

With that pacifier, Sastre looks like some kind of raver/club kid from a few years back... maybe that's what he's going for?

bikesgonewild said...

...gary fisher has a blond "chinnelly", although we used to call them 'soul patches', years ago...

...just sayin'...

...& that kookie cadel, riding his way up a mountain of cocktail wieners got my respect for one (1) day at least (& probably only one), after showing he wasn't just another overcooked aussie 'shrimp on the barbie' after his exhibit of street sweeping on saturday...

AnnaZed said...

Anonymous 5:29 PM said...My UPS guy just rode by on a red Chinnelly.

Uhm, no he didn't, because no such thing exists. maybe it was a Cinelli:

http://www.cinelli.it/

Though that is unlikely. In any case if it were a Cinelli the proper ... er ... props ... would be:

ciao, ciao!

(or something in Italian)

Anonymous said...

Kickbikes (and even their knobby-tired bmx cousins) are way better than Razors and their easily face-planted ilk that have the front wheel contact patch about 2 inches in front of the riders feet. They split the difference between running and biking, allow you that joyous feeling of flying a few inches above the ground, and (for lack of a drivetrain) are cleaner than most of my bikes. But I'm glad I don't ride one regularly anymore, since Anon 4:20 says their gay. (Who knew what a bunch of homophobic pricks were still out there!) BTW Anon 4:20, it weighs a lot because it's an un-fucking-triangulated frame with low-end components.

Anonymous said...

Aye Chinzanos!

Anonymous said...

Ride Daniela Levi!!

Anonymous said...

for you wannabe Mogo racers...

Anonymous said...

Your post regarding the lost Cinelli has caused me great emotional distress. I will never be able to freight a bike ever again. I'm calling Daniella now and suing your @ss .. see you in court!

She does look like a porn star, doesn't she...schwing!

Andy Pandy said...

Careful Mr BGW when you dis the great follower Cadel. Some of us are bored batshit-less by him.But he has Lance's big ugly body guard and he is True Blue convict material,so we stand by him, however yawn-inducing. If that does not put you in a tail spin of fear i will send you a dingo via kangaroo post to where you live and will eat anything that vaguely resembles meat

innerlighter said...

On the Mogo/Kickbike front...
I can't comment to the dorkiness of ridin...er, propelling the thing, but I'll have to correct you on the inability to do long distances with it. There was a Finnish guy(seems to be popular there, must be something in the water) who completed the 2003 Paris-Brest-Paris in 84.5 hours on one such machine. Does 1200km count as a long distance?

http://www.rusa.org/newsletter/07-02-09.html

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.geocities.com/mdwrhw/t-scooter2003pbp.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.geocities.com/mdwrhw/pbp2003.htm&h=103&w=100&sz=3&tbnid=RFFjvVXMWX0J::&tbnh=83&tbnw=81&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522PBP%2522%2B%2522scooter%2522%2B%2527Photo%2522&hl=en&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=2&ct=image&cd=1

The Great White Hype said...

We have a Mogo here in Australia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mogo%2C_New_South_Wales

It doesnt mention that its more of a stop than a destination.

Just like the other Mogo.

Anonymous said...

Mogo = Homo

Anonymous said...

Wow. For $250, I can have a bike (sorta) with no pedals ? What will Conglomeratstan think to sell me next ? I can't wait !

Anonymous said...

Andrew said...

is bea still alive?


apparently she's wrestling velociraptors.

Anonymous said...

^ link didnt work
try this one

Ronsonic said...

celeriac sez ...

If you flipped the mogo frame upside down and stuck a 36er unicycle through the headset you'd have a sweet boneshaker. I mean gearless fixie.

Hey, think we can convince the idjits that the penny-farthing is the new fixie?

Anonymous said...

mogo mogo

AMRcyclist said...

Great attention to detail. All those "prefabricated" ads are annoying!

More importantly, a great race indeed but Cadel's 1 sec lead wasn't calculated that well, just luck. Frank Schleck raced for that jersey and was unlucky for starting his attack slightly prematurely hence not being able to stay with those super climbers.

http://amrcycling.blogspot.com/2008/07/tour-de-france-stages-9-10-charles-coin.html

Stages 15, 16 and 17 might turn things around big time!!!

Enjoy the viewing! And listen to JF!

Anonymous said...

The Amish beat 'em to it!
http://www.webshots.com/search?query=An+Amish+scooter

bikesgonewild said...

...mr andrew pandrew (i'm being formal here)...it was noted elsewhere & agreed upon pour moi, that watching mr cadel evans race a bicycle had an excitement quotient similar to that of watching paint dry...

...the funny thing (both ha-ha & peculiar) is that my good mate tommy mac was cadel's mtb wrench for years...fixed & tuned up anything that little "true blue" latex patch could do to a fat tire bike, all over the world & has nothing but nice things to say about him...

...absolutely disgusting & highly suspect from my p.o.v...& btw, that dingo better like chewing on shoe leather if he's gonna bother me...

...just sayin'...

Andy Pandy said...

Master BGW Esquire
He does have an annoying grind and whinning tone if you know what i mean. And as for the conspiracy theorists amongst us, it was either a disgruntled ex disco boy on the grassy knoll with a planted ex CIA bike pump through the spokes or he bored himself to sleep and nodded off at the wheel. At least da Cobra gave Phil something to talk about

Todd Colby said...

Right on!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA mogo "Not available in stores"

Daniella Levi, attorney at law said...

Anonymous 7:21PM, that's libel and sexual harassment. Papers are being served now. I'll see you in court! *cymbal crash*

Wutz said...

"Not available in stores"

see also: "No one will carry it."

Anonymous said...

what's the kickbike hour record?

BicyclesOnly said...

The mogo isn't new. It's just a variation on a "like-a-bike," which has been around for years. They use them to teach kids to bicycle at my daughter's nursery school. I wouldn't be caught dead on one of these.

abelgus said...

1:37PM

where's snob???

Andrew said...

some freestyler with no brake took him out on 23rd and 9th...i'll update you all when i get info from the hospital

Anonymous said...

Andrew @1:43: !!??!!

Anonymous said...

Andrew... for real, is that a joke? if not the world is not without irony

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a bike culture underworld hit to me.

fro said...

another one caught! wow. how shocking!

SD said...

Sounds like he went out with a bang and a whimper....

AH said...

anon 1:09--
I dunno but I accidentally witnessed the kickbike 1000m world record. I was at Major Taylor Velodrome when during the intermission this old dude came out on a kickbike. It took me the first half of his record ride to figure out it wasn't a joke!

Sometimes I see him "training" around town.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I set the world record for farting in the bathtub.

Anonymous said...

http://www.mogoscooter.com/images/look/large/mogo-13.jpg
Why is that guy wearing bike shorts if he has no seat to sit on?

Joshua said...

The Mogo specsheet:

Front wheel-700 C (37-622) black skinwall tire with 36H single wall alloy rim, American Valves tube and CP spokes

Rear wheel-18" x 1.75" (40-355) black skinwall tire with 28H single wall alloy rim, American Valves tube and CP spokes

Frame -Hi-ten, 2mm, Tig-welded

Footboard-Durable Plastic

Handlebars-560mm, steel with black kraton grips

F-fork-700C, Hi-ten, V-brake

Brakes-V-brakes with black alloy bracket brake levers, alloy silver handles, galvanized 7x7 inner cables and black 2P outer cables.

Mudguards-Steel, satin black (single stay front, double stay rear)

Headset-1 1/8" ahead, black steel with 1 1/8" alloy black 10 mm spacers (x2)

Water Bottle Mount-Black alloy mounted on frame

Total Weight 22 lbs.



Looks sweet! I find it reassuring that the footboard is made of durable plastic, and I'm glad they went into such detail about the brake cables.

I think I might wait for the Mogo 29'er which will allow me to more easily surmount the treacherous cracks in the sidewalk in front of my grandmother's house. Sure it'll take 12 pushes, or Mogo-strokes, to equal one wheel revolution, but the added versatility will be totally worth it.

SkidMarkPDX said...

Can't wait til one shows up at Goodwill, it will make a great bottom half for a cargo tallbike.

Anonymous said...

Total [Mogo] Weight: 22 lbs.

It's lighter than my Surly...

Anonymous said...

I realize this is an old post, but I saw this video and thought you'd find it amusing.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J7zb8YXrmIA

chengja said...

Alex Rodriguez,the playerwow goldwho would restore integrity to baseball's homewow goldrunre cord,admittedwow goldMonday towow goldusing performance-enhancingwow goldwow golddrugs himself.

chengja said...

The All-Star thirddofus kamasdofus kamasbaseman said in an interviewkamas dofusacheter dofuswith ESPN that he used steroids with the Texas Rangers for three years,from 2001-03,in an attemptbuy kamasacheter kamasto justify his status as the game's highest-paid player after signing a 10-year.

chengja said...

Back then it wasworld of warcraft golda different culture,Rodriguezcheap wow goldsaid.It waswow orvery loose.I was young.I waswow power levelingstupid.

chengja said...

He said he quitbuy wow goldcheap wow goldafter 2003,hiswow power levelingdofus kamasfirst of three AL MVP seasons,because I've provedbuy ffxi gilLord of the Rings Online goldto myself and to everyone that I don't need any of that.

chengja said...

When I arrivedwow goldin Texas in 2001,Iwow goldfelt an enormous amount of pressure.I feltwow goldwow goldlike I had all the weightwow goldof the world on top of me and I needed to perform.

Anonymous said...

Hello..
a found a great place to find nice products at discounted rate at [url=http://50off.reviewazone.com/]discount code[/url]
Have Fun

Anonymous said...

Guys..
a found a great place to find nice products at wholesale rate at [url=http://50off.reviewazone.com/]discount[/url]
Have Fun

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

Alice poopoopants said...

Levi's a man and I like it...WAY to much :)

costa rica vacation said...

This blog is very interesting, i liked because show many good new ideas.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. general health Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Anonymous said...

I am very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us this useful information. anti viral Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol