Thursday, April 3, 2008

Worst of NYC Craigslist: Full-Blown Bike Love

Ah yes, Craigslist Missed Connections--a soap opera wrapped in a reality show cultivated in a Petri dish.  Personally, I'm simultaneously fascinated and disgusted by the role bicycles so often play in human courtship.  If you've ever seen the goofy, awkward mating dances certain birds perform you've got some idea of what's going on out there on our city's streets.  Here are a few mating dances that appear to have been choreographed by a highly intoxicated Cupid:


I see you around everywhere - w4m - 23 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/623666182.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-03-30, 12:51AM EDT

There hasn't been a good time to say hi yet. I often see you at work. You are tall and lanky. I saw you today walking your bike in Williamsburg.

Oh, yeah, that narrows it down. Williamsburg is an entire neighborhood of lanky bike-walkers. Bicycles are to Bedford Avenue as poodles are to Park Avenue, and their owners parade them up and down the sidewalks, the cranks of their fixed drivetrains idly churning like a bemused dog's tail. Of course, Williamsburg's gotten expensive now, and some of the residents without parental support have actually been forced to go and get jobs. Consequently, a cottage industry of bicycle walkers has arisen so that owners can make sure their bicycles are still paraded around the neighborhood during the day while they're off toiling. I'm pretty sure what's happening here is that our poster has become enamored with a professional bike walker.


FOODSWINGS SUNDAY - YOU, GLASSES AND RED TRACK BIKE - m4w - 23 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/627139351.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-04-01, 10:53PM EDT

Uh, well, I walked into foodswings during their anniversary on sunday, you had a black hoodie, dark hair, black backpack (with a red light on it) and glasses. you were with a friend of mine named alex. i was the guy who walked in with a friend, wearing the grey raincoat, black hoodie, hat and crusty black pants with a yellow messenger bag. we made eye contact that seemed pretty intense.

later on havemeyer you were on your bike, we were across the street from each other, but made eyes for a majority of the time we were crossing paths.

youve been on my mind since, who are you?

I had to employ a popular internet search engine to learn that Foodswings is a "vegan fast food" establishment, and not some kind of actual swing where you grab an onion ring with your mouth at the apex of your arc. It's located in Brooklyn's ever-growing Ironic District, next to the tax return service for unemployed people and the nail place that does "anti-cures" (which involves distressing the fingertips of people who graduated from schools like Oberlin and Bard so it looks like they perform manual labor and they can tell people they've restored their Lambrettas themselves).

At any rate, why doesn't the poster just ask his friend Alex who this woman is?  And why would he advertise that his pants are crusty?  That to me is an indication of a very nasty sexually-transmitted disease.  And what's with the raincoat?  Maybe he's a serial public masturbator.

bike messenger with big glasses - w4m (Downtown) [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/627351747.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-04-02, 7:03AM EDT

you're the most handsom thing on two wheels in new york. The kind of baffling beauty that surpasses itself perpetually. And when you gust passed me, I felt you in the tips of my toes.

Wow, the most "handsom" thing on two wheels?!? I thought this was the most hansom thing on two wheels!  Maybe our fetching messenger is indeed delivering missives in the manner of a Louis XIV-era courier, dashing about town in a hansom cab and a powdered wig and unfurling lengthy pieces of parchment from which he reads aloud.  Indeed, perhaps this is the hot new trend in messenger services.  "Hear Ye, Hear Ye!  The Elite Modeling Agency wishes it to be known that they have the perfect model for your ad campaign, and I come bearing etchings of her in her frilly underthings.  Now, I shall require room and board for the night as well as a stable for my horses.  I shall embark upon my return to 23rd Street first thing tomorrow morn."  It would certainly make alleycats more interesting.

RE bike messenger with big glasses - w4m [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/627362468.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-04-02, 7:35AM EDT

"felt me in the tip of your toes" huh? that is so sweet and nice. Thanks. Get at me, and I'll let you feel me in the back of your throat as well.

Uh, OK, maybe I was wrong about the whole courtly messenger thing.

74 comments:

Andrew said...

1st!

Anonymous said...

second! what the FUCK is wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

second! what the FUCK is wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

4th!!! so retarded

Anonymous said...

i need to go out and buy a black "hoodie" lest i miss out on any of these potential stalker relationships.

bother yam said...

Don't these dinks meet in bars anymore? What is it with today's kids?

pinchfinger said...

Top 10. Yippee!

Robert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Umm

click here

MWHack said...

A new concept...gear selection based solely on desired "wagging" frequency...I like it.

gator joe said...

Gawd almighty. Its times like this that I drop to my knees and give thanx, once again, that I do not live in NYC.
As my 7th grade teacher once exclaimed, "ya'll lost your minds?"

Anonymous said...

I'm happy being a domestique!!!!

Pack finish.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend did a missed connection about me on bike, and thats how we met. I know, it still makes me puke though.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

Enjoy your new career at Roadale Press. We will really miss your blog.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob: Did you see where Alexi Grewal came clean about his doping history on the Velonews website today? Isn't it about time for you to come clean about the performance enhancing effects of your Gefilte Fish addiction? I'm just sayin...

Anonymous said...

"crusty" pants? um, ick. or does that have some kind of 'rad' meaning with the 'grinchy' kids today?

Anonymous said...

"Crusty" as in punk rock.

Dumb.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 10:58am,

I'm surprised he didn't ask her to come over and listen to his Amebix records.

--BSNYC

Will said...

I thought the most handsome thing on two wheels was Cippo... I guess he's just the "sexiest"?

Richmond Roadie said...

"Professional bike walker"!
Oh the possibilities...

OpenYourEyes said...

What is the deal with a post this early in the morning? I haven't even finished mainlining my espresso yet...

Anonymous said...

21st

ka_jun said...

"And when you gust passed me, I felt you in the tips of my toes."

And when you passed gas near me?

or

And when your gas passed me?

Man, what a catch. I hate that numbing toes feeling that accompanies when someone lets one fly on the move and you get that blowback air biscuit vortex. Maybe it was the crusty guy from Foodswings.

sd said...

Holy crap-
"Now, I shall require room and board for the night as well as a stable for my horses. I shall embark upon my return to 23rd Street first thing tomorrow morn."

First out load guffaw in some time. Bravo, Snob, bra....vo.

OpenYourEyes said...

Oh dear, according to Grewal I should be expecting a knock at the door from the doping police: caffeine and ephedra? Whoa, settle down bud- I'm not sure that qualifies as doping.
If Grewal wants to clear his conscience for his mid-life crisis, he should write a letter imploring his son not to be a prick like he was.
There was no more of a wanker on the continental tour, and if 'roids were en vogue then, his behavior would have been much like this .
So, in all, quaint try Alexi. But really who you were left much more of an impression than what you accomplished.
Douchebag.

Chris said...

just had to take a dig at lambretta owners, didn't you?

Anonymous said...

openyoureyes:

That video clip had me roaring with laughter! Thanks!

broomie said...

Chris 12:05,

Shhhhh, revealing you own a lambretta is like saying you enjoy sniffing swings. As true as it may be, you just don't share.

Anonymous said...

The body odor in "FOODSWINGS SUNDAY - YOU, GLASSES" and stinky people is palpable. These urban hipsters need a lesson in clothes and body cleanliness.

erik k said...

profesional bike walker... you know what I think I saw one of those the other day on my way to work. He was walking a, "brakeless, fixte, fixed-gear-freestly, track bike" up a moderately steep hill all while sporting a trendy messenger bag, tight jeans, a black hoddie, slip ons, large white ear plug, scarf, and of coarse no helmet. At first I was very confused, I thought perhaps he had somehow gotten lost wandering around costa mesa (its flat there) and ended up in laguna beach (very hilly) but now it all makes sense. Professional bike walker! its seems this is fast spreading trend, I'm only 2920.52 miles from Williamsburg. I can only imagine the kind of money you could make in Japan.

Jim said...

And what's with the raincoat? Maybe he's a serial public masturbator.

But really... who isn't nowadays?

which involves distressing the fingertips of people who graduated from schools like Oberlin and Bard

I dunno. That sounds like an unnecessary profession. I should think that anybody or anything connected to somebody who graduated from Oberlin or Bard is plenty distressed already.


I'm pretty sure what's happening here is that our poster has become enamored with a professional bike wanker.

There - fixed.

pee wee herman in a rainjacket said...

damn!!!

caught again!

bikesgonewild said...

...note to mr pee wee herman:--
sir, when you were making movies, you were great...when you were watching movies, not so much...
...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

"I'll let you feel me in the back of your throat as well."

That is so fucking haute!

roomservicetaco said...

Nice post, snob. Yesterday you were jumping sharks, today you're back to turning on jukeboxes with your fist and picking up poodle skirts with a finger snap.

History Snob, NYC said...

While I appreciate the reference to the hansom cab, my first reaction was, understandably: Louis the XIV died in 1715, how could one of his courtiers dash around in a hansom cab, which was invented in 1838? Perhaps the metaphorical hansom-messanger should be a middle-class Victorian gentleman of good repute, gadding about in hansoms in order to accomplish his work for the Post Office. Case in point:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Trollope#Return_to_England

BikeSnobNYC said...

History Snob,

Thanks! I clearly failed to do my research there.

--BSNYC

JimmyNick said...

After awhile, the bird video gets to looking like an NFL end zone.

"hotcandy321" said...

I meet so many cute boys on craigslist.

Commiecanuk said...

History Snob, NYC said...

While I appreciate the reference to the hansom cab, my first reaction was, understandably: Louis the XIV died in 1715, how could one of his courtiers dash around in a hansom cab, which was invented in 1838?


Any historian worth his salt would know that Louis the XIV invented the time machine in 1704. sheesh.

Anonymous said...

C'mon folks.. For everyone out there trying to identify the snob, he dropped an Amebix reference.. An AMEBIX reference, you fools!

Yes, check. That's one for obscure metal and check, now one more for crusty buttflaps.


Really though, if crusty pants and sex are both being discussed, Discharge would have been waaaayyyy more appropriate.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:28pm,

Hear nothing, see nothing, say nothing.

--BSNYC

leroy said...

Sorry I'm late.

You wouldn't believe who was looking for me on Craigslist.

Did I miss anything?

Is it jumping the shark when you recycle comments?

Anonymous said...

A REAL clown wears Krusty pants.

Courtly messenger-messenger said...

Crusty is the new cool.

bikesgonewild said...

...now there are some solid clues:::
hear nothing, see nothing, say nothing, the three wise monkeys...krusty clown pants...'seal' of disapproval...occasionally leaves town on short notice...bicycles...
...monkeys, clowns, seals, travel & bikes spells out circus animal trainer to me...bears & monkeys ride bikes in circuses, seals honk bike horns...seems like a lock to me...

...what say, snob, have i looked beyond the seemly obvious to discover the real truth...

Andy Pandy said...

Blackfooted Albatross mating dance looks more like a free for all orgy. The question that I have though is what kind of sick perverted mind sits around for 4 mins and 54 seconds filming it and dumping it on U tube, and why wasn’t there a pool boy, some moustaches and 70’s bad music happening. And why did I watch t for that long

Anonymous said...

Dearest Bike Snob,

First, I am sure the Craigs List posting was meant for you! You are so humble.

Second, you are not at liberty to determine when you jump the shark. That is determined by your community of interest. And I, as part of your community of interest, believe you have many postings in you before you jump the shark.

MG said...

Dearest Bike Snob,

First, I am sure the Craigs List posting was meant for you! You are so humble.

Second, you are not at liberty to determine when you jump the shark. That is determined by your community of interest. And I, as part of your community of interest, believe you have many postings in you before you jump the shark.

Anonymous said...

anon @ 3:28-
Maybe the snob is an old crusty or maybe he wikipediaed "crust punk"; Amebix is the first band mentioned.

As to the post, having delivered many an Elite model book in my day, the bewigged courier cracked me up.

rusty said...

If you guys like Bike Snob NYC and History Snob NYC then check out this site: www.metasnobnyc.com It compiles all the info from all the NYC snob sites and gives you a brief synopsis of what to mock in NYC. I actually found out about Foodswings a few weeks ago at this site through a tip from foodsnobnyc! There is so much to feel superior about in the 5 boroughs, metasnobnyc makes your job easier.

agentdetroit said...

in my crusty punk rock days, i was at a denny's around 2 am with some friends. through my intoxicated haze, something in the window caught my attention. i leaned over to my friend and said "hey len, do you see a guy jacking off over there?" laughter ensued, and two little old ladies at the next table exclaimed "oh, lordy!" as the raincoat wack bandit shot his load. moments later, a policeman, in his best keystone kops routine, ran up, skidded to a stop, looked around, and continued running. when i informed the waitress of the incident, she said "oh, that guy? last week we found him naked in the women's bathroom rolling around on the floor covered in liquid soap."

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:32pm,

I would never cheat on a band reference. Does the Wikipedia entry mention Sore Throat?

I think HBO should do a Bewigged Courier series after the John Adams miniseries winds down.

--BSNYC

urchin said...

I've tuned in for my mid-evening trolling of the comments list to find only 53?? And BSNYC him/her/itself last? oh, lordy.

enough to bring me out of retirement.

As with fixed gear bikes, you can be pretty sure BSNYC had long since jumped the metaphorical cartilaginous fish once I started enjoying it. I long for the good old days when he defended Joanie's honor by fencing with that awful French guy--I think he was from Mavic.

Anonymous said...

I hope everyone understands that these foolish craigslist postings are the brainchild of someone with an overactive imagination, and who gets his/her willies from "fu$king" with BSNYC in baiting him on some foolish post that only BSNYC could/would make fun of.

I don't think you've jumped any sharks but you need to step up the effort(Get the shark to jump you, think Free Willy). Poking fun at H-words on Langersters/Pistas/NJS frames(that right the goddam word has been overused so much on this blog that "they" now must be refered to as "H-words") is so 2003...or ad nauseum if you prefer.

I look forward to more Rock "Racing" jokes, UCI foolishness, insider Roddie jokes or poke fun at Chris Hoy, but please put out the "H-words" pipe.

Your starting to sound like the 32 year old CPA that cracks jokes about "riceboys" with "fartcans" driving Honda Civics, from behind the wheel of his moms hand me down automatic 1994 BMW 318i....ironic.

Anonymous said...

back of yer throat...snotty messenger pride at its finest! I know at least twenty people in ny who would actually say that, anon 11:49.

"the hard cun7s don't even know what the internet is"

ka_jun said...

ach...my eyes. I can't believe you redacted the actual sponsors, that would've been clown gold!

mr.complaint said...

I know that Albatross dance, it's called a Circle Jerk.

Matt in Seattle said...

That 'back of your throat' thing had me laughing pretty hard. The guy is obviously a messenger. Good times.

Anonymous said...

Professional bike walker? - kinda like a street walker on two wheels? - maybe that's how Cippo got so fast, chasing down those. Me - I'll take the Hansom cab

Dwight said...

Hey now, I went to Bard and my fingers are covered with keyboard callouses and paper cuts.

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ronni tuscadero -
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round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
stacy bride -
stag shag -
street blowjobs -
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tawnee stone -
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Anonymous said...

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her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
in the vip -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
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men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moes white booty hoes -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
real brazil hardcore -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
sweet black -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
vaginal cumshots -
vengified -
vip crew -
we live together -
wild hot dates -
xxx proposal -
xxx raimi -
8th street latinas -
18 interracial -
adult dating friends -
adult friend finder -
adult love line -
all reality pass -
all sites access -
a lucky stranger -
anal destruction -
ashley lightspeed -
asian love line -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
bangbros network -
bang bus -
bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
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big league facials -
big mouthfuls -
big naturals -
big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
budapest bang -
busty adventures -
captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
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courtney lightspeed -
creampie freaks -
cumfiesta -
dana lightspeed -
dirty aly -
dirty schoolgirl -
easy drunk girls -
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elite handjobs -
erica lightspeed -
euro fuck toys -
euro sex parties -
extra big dicks -
extreme asses -
extreme naturals -
facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
gangbang divas -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
hardcore training -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
in the vip -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
lightspeed sorority -
lightspeed tv -
lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
little troublemaker -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
man hookups -
meaty man movies -
men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
older women love cock too -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
real brazil hardcore -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
sweet black -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
vaginal cumshots -
vengified -
vip crew -
we live together -
wild hot dates -
xxx proposal -
xxx raimi -
8th street latinas -
18 interracial -
adult dating friends -
adult friend finder -
adult love line -
all reality pass -
all sites access -
a lucky stranger -
anal destruction -
ashley lightspeed -
asian love line -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
bangbros network -
bang bus -
bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
big cock teen addiction -
big league facials -
big mouthfuls -
big naturals -
big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
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budapest bang -
busty adventures -
captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
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courtney lightspeed -
creampie freaks -
cumfiesta -
dana lightspeed -
dirty aly -
dirty schoolgirl -
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elite handjobs -
erica lightspeed -
euro fuck toys -
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she got switched -
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faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
gangbang divas -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
hardcore training -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
in the vip -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
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little troublemaker -
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mandy lightspeed -
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milf next door -
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moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
older women love cock too -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfct dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
real brazil hardcore -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
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the big swallow -
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facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
gangbang divas -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
in the vip -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
lightspeed sorority -
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lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
little troublemaker -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
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mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
older women love cock too -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
real latin hardcore -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
slutty mamma -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
vaginal cumshots -
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vip crew -
web mature -
we live together -
wild hot dates -
xxx proposal -
xxx raimi -
8th street latinas -
18 interracial -
adult dating friends -
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adult love line -
all reality pass -
all sites access -
a lucky stranger -
anal destruction -
ashley lightspeed -
asian love line -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
bangbros network -
bang bus -
bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
big cock teen addiction -
big league facials -
big mouthfuls -
big naturals -
big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
bruno b -
budapest bang -
busty adventures -
captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
college teens bookbang -
courtney lightspeed -
creampie freaks -
cumfiesta -
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dirty schoolgirl -
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ebony love line -
erica lightspeed -
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exclusive mature sex -
extra big dicks -
extreme asses -
extreme naturals -
facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
gangbang divas -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
in the vip -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
lightspeed sorority -
lightspeed tv -
lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
man hookups -
meaty man movies -
men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
older women love cock too -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
real latin hardcore -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
slutty mamma -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
vaginal cumshots -
vengified -
vip crew -
web mature -
we live together -
wild hot dates -
xxx proposal -
xxx raimi -
8th street latinas -
18 interracial -
adult dating friends -
adult friend finder -
adult love line -
adult movie zone -
all big cocks -
all reality pass -
all sites access -
a lucky stranger -
anal destruction -
ashley lightspeed -
asian angels -
asian love line -
asia porno -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
bangbros network -
bang bus -
bang match -
bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
big and slutty -
big cock teen addiction -
big league facials -
big mouthfuls -
big naturals -
big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
bruno b -
budapest bang -
busty adventures -
busty amateurs -
captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
college teens bookbang -
courtney lightspeed -
creampie freaks -
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dirty aly -
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dirty schoolgirl -
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extreme asses -
extreme naturals -
facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
fuck spy -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
got fooled -
granny fucking -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
interracial fuck -
in the vip -
ir orgy -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
lightspeed sorority -
lightspeed tv -
lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
little troublemaker -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
man hookups -
meaty man movies -
men in the nude -
men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
mr skin -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
older women love cock too -
old tarts -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
real latin hardcore -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
sexier -
sex spy -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
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slutty mamma -
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the big swallow -
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tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
upskirts -
vaginal cumshots -
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we live together -
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8th street latinas -
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adult dating friends -
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adult movie zone -
all big cocks -
all reality pass -
all sites access -
a lucky stranger -
anal destruction -
ashley lightspeed -
asian angels -
asian love line -
asia porno -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
bangbros network -
bang bus -
bang match -
bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
big and slutty -
big cock teen addiction -
big league facials -
big mouthfuls -
big naturals -
big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
bruno b -
budapest bang -
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captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
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facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
fuck spy -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
got fooled -
granny fucking -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
interracial fuck -
in the vip -
ir orgy -
i spy camel toe -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed girls -
lightspeed sorority -
lightspeed tv -
lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
little troublemaker -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
man hookups -
meaty man movies -
men in the nude -
men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
mr skin -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
old tarts -
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panties and fannies -
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pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
real latin hardcore -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
sexier -
sex spy -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
simply gay -
simply tranny -
sinful tales -
slutty mamma -
spy cams -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
super men -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teen movie zone -
teens home alone -
teen teen teen -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tit vision -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
upskirts -
vaginal cumshots -
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Anonymous said...

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asian love line -
asia porno -
ass parade -
bait bus -
ball honeys -
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bang bus -
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bare foot maniacs -
barely legal -
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big mouthfuls -
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big tit patrol -
big tits round asses -
black cocks tiny teens -
boys first time -
boys gone bad -
brandi belle -
brandy didder -
britney lightspeed -
bruno b -
busty adventures -
busty amateurs -
captain stabbin -
casting couch teens -
circle jerk boys -
coeds need cash -
college party dates -
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courtney lightspeed -
creampie party -
cumfiesta -
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dana lightspeed -
desperate popstars -
dirty aly -
dirty dykes -
dirty schoolgirl -
dirty teen -
dude dorm -
easy drunk girls -
ebony love line -
erica lightspeed -
euro fuck toys -
euro masturbation -
euro sex parties -
exclusive mature sex -
extra big dicks -
extreme asses -
extreme naturals -
facial humiliation -
faith lightspeed -
female pov -
first time auditions -
fuck spy -
giants black meat white treat -
gigi lightspeed -
got fooled -
granny fucking -
heather lightspeed -
heels and hoes -
her first throatjob -
hood hunter -
horny spanish flies -
hungarian butt sluts -
im live -
in focus girls -
interracial fuck -
in the vip -
ir orgy -
i spy camel toe -
jerk him off -
jordan capri -
lacey white -
latin love line -
lesbian teen hunter -
lesbo 101 -
lightspeed 18 -
lightspeed dvds -
lightspeed sorority -
lightspeed tv -
lightspeed university -
lightspeed world -
little troublemaker -
lonely wives dating club -
mandy lightspeed -
man hookups -
meaty man movies -
men in the nude -
men over 30 -
mike in brazil -
mikes apartment -
milf challenge -
milf hunter -
milf internal -
milf lessons -
milf next door -
milf whore -
moms creampie -
monsters of cock -
mr big dicks hot chicks -
mr chews asian beaver -
mr skin -
my gay roommates -
nikki grinds -
old tarts -
one crazy night -
ox pass -
panties and fannies -
papi -
perfect dp -
pimp my black teen -
please bang my wife -
public invasion -
pussy ass mouth -
reality kings -
reality pass plus -
real latin hardcore -
reel 18 -
ronni tuscadero -
round and brown -
round mound of ass -
sammy4u -
sapphic erotica -
see her squirt -
sexier -
sex spy -
she got switched -
shocking parties -
simply gay -
simply tranny -
sinful tales -
spy cams -
stacy bride -
street blowjobs -
street ranger -
super men -
sweet devon -
tawnee stone -
taylor little -
teen movie zone -
teens home alone -
teen teen teen -
teeny bopper club -
terry lightspeed -
tgirl island -
the big swallow -
throat jobs -
tinys black adventures -
tit vision -
tori stone -
tranny surprise -
true twinks -
tug jobs -
upskirts -
vaginal cumshots -
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Anonymous said...

术+术:可能是唯一有可能冲上2300的同职业组合,天赋一般选用双恶魔法+贼:控制+爆发型,法师的爆发力略胜术士,不过容错性非常小,游戏相似组合还有法+野D,法+暗牧法+法:双冰法控制,综合来说还不错,续战力也存活能力也很强。双奥法的秒杀流一经提出就被喷的面目全非,我本人其实尝试过这个组合,可惜装备只有S2,法伤最多也只能撑到102X(现在能高不少),魔兽队友情况也差不多。这样的组合容错性低的离谱,虽然有10000+HP 400+韧性,但是感觉一被打就瞬间死,而且跑还跑不掉,所以这个打法还是更适合高端副本装,反正一样死很快。组合上还是克死战士队,别和我提盾反,网络游戏那么明显的动画效果能吸到个火冲不错了。网游基本上能够硬顶过我们5秒的职业只有骑士,冰法,盗贼和恶魔SS了。打盗贼队伍,如果是盗贼+看的见,一律先把看的见的OOXX了,双盗贼很难打,2斗篷我们免费网络游戏直接去一人。最后被一个队恶魔SS+骑士卡住了,因为奥法的后续爆发几乎没有,开局秒恶魔SS和骑士都不成功。感觉装备足够猛的话,2000是没问题的,2000以后看能否连好沉默来秒SS了。法伤最好是NOBUFF 1200+以上,最新网游保证秒杀的成功率,可以不用考虑血和韧性,建议装备牛B的法师们平时娱乐使用,非常畅快的战斗贼+暗牧:爆发力非常强的组合,而且他们的视频里很不厚道的最新免费网络游戏吃了金童3场贼+野D:第一赛季闷+盲+消失补闷+飓风的完美控制秒杀型队伍,不过在徽章能解所有控制技能之后容错性大大降低了。

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