Friday, April 4, 2008

From the BSNYC Culture Desk: Toon in to "Bikestyle!"

As the moment of my shark-jumping draws ever closer, I'm proud to announce that I've reached another inevitable milestone in that process: the changing of my name from "BikeSnobNYC" to an unpronounceable symbol. After much consideration, I have chosen as my symbol actor Rip Torn's mug shot:


You will kindly address me thusly from now until my waterskis touch down safely on the other side of the toothy fish.

Moving on, a document has recently crossed my desk which I feel warrants attention. Apparently a graffiti artist by the name of Toons feels that bicycles have become sufficiently trendy to incorporate them into his work. So he's begun to customize them. In fact, this summer (right around the time of my BSNYC SUMMER LIVE-BLOGGING SPECTACULAR!!!, as it happens) he's going to be exhibiting (and presumably selling) them in an "art show/product expose/promotional party" called "Bikestyle."

The organizers of this event are currently shopping for sponsorship, which I recently had the pleasure of reading. I thought this would be of interest to my readers as well, so I'm pleased to present their sales pitch below for your perusal. My comments, from which I could not refrain, are in red.



Name of event: BIKESTYLE
Type of event:
Art Show, Product Expose, Promotional Party
Exhibition Dates:
June 21st - July 19th
Expected attendance:
400 patrons per event

Another word for this type of event is "Style-Whoring Ego Bacchanaal," and when they say "patrons" they mean "johns."



Dates/ Hours of event:
June 19th, June 20th: Press Day & Pre-Opening for Bike buyers
June 21st : Exhibit Opening/ After Party 7-12am
June 28th : Flatland BMX & Fix Gear Showcase by Pro Rider Jesse Puente &
Kio. Special musical guest Lou Dog on Drums and MC Elay Kauhe 7-12am.
July 4th : “Firecracker Ride” feat. Critical Mass Bicycle Group Ride & Movie,
including Midnight Riders Art Auction for Aids 7-12am.
July 12th Bike Company & Sponsor Vendor Sales/ Promotion Day
July 19th : Exhibit Closing/ After Party “Bike Fellowship Party Jam & Photo
Shoot” 4-10pm
Contact Information:
J. Swift, Owner, The Underground Agency, [deleted],
[deleted]
Event location:
Currently Open!



Holy crap, Lou Dog is playing! I am so there. Glad they've incorporated a Critical Mass ride, because I think this is everything Critical Mass stands for. I have a feeling this may be the first one ever in which half of the participants will be driving Toyota FJs.



Event description:
Bikestyler Customs by Toons debuts a creative collection of art enhanced
custom bicycles and all related items. Bikestyler transforms bicycles into one-ofa-
kind works of functional art. The show will feature 25 Bikestyler creations;
works on canvass, and fully customized bicycle helmets. Entertainment will be
provided by LA-based DJ..s, musicians, and filmmakers.


Okay, who is Toons, and what qualifies him to paint on bikes?

Toons is a self-taught, independent artist using his background in graffiti and fine
art to create exciting graphic and conceptual designs. Toons' boundless artistic
vision allows him to see the world as his canvass. For this reason his bold
designs can be found on surfaces of all kinds along with products he embraces
with a personal passion. Reflecting a bold and fearless style cultivated on the
streets painting massive murals with American collectives TCB and ICU, Toons
art is reaching an ever-widening audience through his association with supportive
sponsors and his involvement with art-based organizations. His talents have led
to impressive assignments such as curator for the Academy of Arts in Germany,
and the European art collective Live Demo.

I see. Thank heavens Toons has deigned to visit the world of cycling and scribble all over our bicycles. I wonder what lifestyle sport he'll bless next. Maybe he can go paint on some golf clubs.

Toons has extensive experience as creative consultant for companies looking to
appeal to the highly critical urban market. Companies including Puma, Levi,
Priority Records, Showtime, X-Box, and recent clients Boost Mobile, Pepsi, and
LA Ink have relied on Toons' ability to capture the essence of their products, and
convey a creative message to the marketplace. To keep sharp in the streets,
Toons can frequently be found painting live at art exhibits, murals, nightclubs, car
shows, and other showcases dedicated to authentic art and culture.

Good, so he's done fleecing the entertainment, telecommunications, and food and beverage industries, so now he's coming to shake down the bicycle industry. Will it be stupid enough to fall under Toons' spell too? I'm glad he's out there keeping sharp by painting live at "showcases dedicated to authentic art and culture." Maybe one day you'll see him with an easel at an alleycat or something. If you do, please kick it over for me.



Logo Opportunity:
Your company will have the option to place your logo on featured Bikestyler
Custom Bicycles, displays, wall paintings, our limited edition laminated bicycle
spoke cards announcing the event, the Festival Banner, Festival Poster, and
Commerative Art Show t-shirt. Bikestyler Customs will produce a complete
electronic media kit including an event invitation, email blasts, Internet blog, and
video announcements.


Yes, please blast the world with my logo! What do I have to do?

Sponsorship Opportunity details
Sponsorship includes insertion in full publicity package by gallery and private
publicity firm. Promotion will go to art, fashion, sports, youth, design, advertising,
film, production and print/TV media. We will also mail to sponsor's mailing lists.


Event/Sponsorship Cost:

Level One: Top Gear Unlimited $10,000
Toons will integrate your company name and logo into the art installation via a
fully designed bike, corresponding wall display, an original Toons One designed
accessory package (bike gear), coordinating designer fashion package that
includes outfit of sponsor's choice.


Top Gear Unlimited Sponsorship also offers placement of company banner at all
events, Logo on 300 limited edition laminated bicycle spoke cards.
Logo on event banner, 300 art show t-shirts, 300 event posters, 10,000 art show
flyer, electronic event invitation, email blast and video blog.

Oooh! Spoke cards! Laminated spoke cards!

(I think this means spoke cards have officially Jumped the Shark.)

Level Two: Strictly Styling $6,500
Toons will integrate your company name and logo into the art installation via a
fully designed bike, and corresponding designer fashion package that includes
outfit of sponsor's choice.

The Strictly Styling Sponsorship also offers placement of company name and
logo on 300 limited edition laminated bicycle spoke cards, Logo on all event
banners, 300 art show t-shirts, 300 event posters, 10,000 art show flyers,
electronic event invitation, email blast and video blog.

Does this include a gold-plated bucket with my logo on it so I can puke my freaking guts out into it?



Level Three: Cold Cruising $3,500
Toons will integrate your company name and logo into the art installation in the
Styled Parts display featuring Bikestyler Custom designed frames, parts, and
accessories
.

The Cold Cruising Sponsorship also offers placement of company name and logo
on 10,000 art show flyers, 300 event posters, electronic event invitation, email
blast and video blog.


***We are open to entertaining other gracious offers from sponsors so please
contact us with questions, suggestions, ideas, etc. Join in the fun today!

Here's a question: how much would it cost me to get Toons to ride one of his "one-of-a-kind works of functional art" off of the Santa Monica Pier while dressed as Grover and singing the theme song to "Sesame Street?" Because I'd like to see that. I'll even pay extra if I can get Lou Dog to accompany him on the one-and-twos.

Committed Event Sponsors/ Partners:

[Names deleted to protect the guilty.]

Targeted Sponsors (partial list):

Bern Helmets
Campagnolo
Chris King
Dangerboy
SE Bikes
SLB
Swobo
Industry Nine
Apple Computers
Starbucks
Levi Strauss
Urb Magazine
Rouge Status
XLarge
Absolut
Red Bull
Red Stripe
Sambazon

Some of these companies are certainly fine by themselves. Some of these companies even make products that go well together. However, I will go so far as to say if you consume products by more than nine of these companies at once, you either are or aspire to be Michael Ball.





Wow, that sure was a lot of words. Just in case you're not sold yet, though, here are a few examples of Toons' work:



By the way, did I mention I'm purchasing the $10,000 "Level One: Top Gear Unlimited" sponsorship package? Yeah, I want my logo on the art bike with the threaded-to-threadless adapter and the misaligned anodized purple brake pad which has already nicely marred the powdercoated non-machined rim. I'm getting the sense that while Toons may be quite marketing-savvy he doesn't pay much attention to detail. You know, the Mutant stem came in a quill version too. What's the matter, was the buy-it-now on eBay too high? I wonder if, for an additional five bucks, Toons could be bothered to remove that NOS Michelin and put it back on with the label aligned with the valve stem for me.




This is obviously a work-in-progress, and it's a promising one. In fact, it promises to be an affront to at least two types of bicycle. I've always wanted to see what the result would be if a fixed-gear freestyle bike and a hybrid mated. Here it is--though something tells me when they hooked up the sex was not consentual.



"Whoa, sorry! This is a headshop. I was just looking for bike parts. What? These are bike parts?" I'm hoping these parts were made specially for Keith Richards' new fixed-gear, because he's the only person I could see riding something like this. Thank you, Toons, for painting our culture with the same crappy brush you've already used on sneakers, cars, album covers, energy drink cans, and whatever else you get paid to design. And thanks "Underground Agency" for the opportunity to be a part of it.

130 comments:

Anonymous said...

Podium!

bother yam said...

Man, I hope this doesn't take off. The thought of thousands of bikes painted like this from competing vendors makes my eyes bleed.

Imagine REI's Novara with street cred...

Anonymous said...

Number 3!

Lazy Bike Commuter said...

Hey, come on. REI's Novarra has street cred if yiou mean that actual cyclists think they're good.


Also, can they not be bothered to learn to spell "canvas" for their press release? I think one time they DID mean "canvass" but I think that was only by mistake.

Anonymous said...

I hate myself but have just seen I could be third.

Luke said...

I really try to keep an open mind. But when people that don't appear to even ride bikes get involved, it's hard. And my definition of riding even includes what Prolly does.

Anonymous said...

What's with the early post BSNYC? You know damn well your reader base hasn't woken up yet.

PeAK said...

Vintage entry...I'm not surprised at your venom given the aesthetic of FGG is now being pimped by an ex-Graffiti artist...I bet money that you would freak out on show day if the label was magically aligned with the valve stem :)

Andrew said...

I wonder when Apple will start including a spoke card with the purchase of a new iPod?

DLV said...

Top 10!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does the bike with the mutant stem have just a shifter cable housing and no actual cable inside it. Maybe just a bad picture?

Cycle Jerk said...

Oh Rip Torn's mug shot, you have done it again...

G as in Chris said...

So let me get this right, if you are a bike company, you can pay 10 large to have your logo placed BACK on your own bike or component?

Wow! With people this genius out there, who needs a marketing department?

Anonymous said...

I work in advertising. If one of my media buyers came to me with this "opportunity," I would beat them to death.

Anonymous said...

the cyclist formally known as BSNYC, nice work. i was working on an aztec/graffiti themed bike for the FGG, but looks like toons beat me to it...

Prolly said...

Luke, thanks. Now that you'd admitted to being Bike Snob, you can begin to officially Jump the Shark.

MWHack said...

andrew, some apple products could already be considered overpriced spoke cards. by those with boundless vision.

Cafn8 said...

When someone says the word "art" I definitely don't think of the terms "email blast" and "company name and logo". Marketing, yes. Advertizing, yes. Not art.

Andrew said...

Mwhack- Absolutely! Maybe that's a new direction Apple should take with the new MacBook Air.

ZiP said...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/
mnh/bik/629862782.html

yikes

murphini said...

sadly hijacking David Spade's SNL Enternainment Minute description of MC Hammer as regards to the Urban Fixed Bike Culture...
(Hum the HAMMER-TIME theme with me)

Do-Do-Do-Do
Do-Do, Do-Do
IT'S OVER

RIP urban bike culture. When a 45 year old Kansas City guy (me) commutes 6 miles a few times a week on a 76 schwinn varsity with fenders, converted to a fixed gear, but without spoke cards, colored rims, or tat's up & down my arms, IT'S OVER.

Sorry for being a part of the apocylapse. I just ride for fun....is that so wrong?

Anonymous said...

what's with this?
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/bik/629674477.html

Commiecanuk said...

Hard to believe Toons is a self-taught urban artist, clearly, there is a school somewhere in New York that teaches the art of scribbling with rattle cans, and avoiding extreme heat and pressure.

I blame Mario Cipollini, the first horseman of the apocalypse with his custom skin suits and airbrushed Pamela Anderson images.

Hey, don't knock the Airbook, removing everything useful from a portable computer so it fits in an envelope is the kind of innovation that will take the US out of the recession. Next month Steve jobs is releasing the AirPhone -two small LCD screens with a string pulled tight between them (string owned soley by AT&T)-I'm already camping out in line in front of the Soho Apple Store.

Anonymous said...

"whoa, sorry this is a headshop!" longest I have laughed at any bsnyc post.

thefutureofamerica said...

I would chip in $10 to see the BSNYC Seal of disapproval splattered all over this event.

Come to think of it, I'd chip in 20 to see this douche ride off a pier dressed as the Seal of disapproval.

Who's in?

Anonymous said...

Deliciously scathing.

Anonymous said...

Did he really do that to a C-record crank? I feel sick, I'm gong back to bed.

Epic Adam said...

Needs more bandana.

mojito said...

Dear person symbolized by a picture of Rip Torn:

This is just to revisit the rather sensitive topic of 'jump the shark' for a minute. You seem as much upset (perturbed? mildly miffed?) by an apparent misuse of the term as being labeled with it. The definitive urban dictionary (can't do linkies: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jumping+the+shark) has a couple of different definitions, including the moment at which the slide to oblivion begins. Note there is no need in that definition for some desperate bid for freshness.

To mix my sea creatures I'd say the rather unfunny April 1 post was more a water ski in a blow-hole than a full blown shark jump.

Back to where you wanted the blog to stick: indeed that's probably the first time ever anybody has thought about using brightly painted bicycle bits as art. Original and tres droll, Senor Toons.

Authority has it that his next project is to paint the Brooklyn bridge exactly the same color it is now. Live and on camera. That would be totally, like, Christo. Except he's called, like, Toons. Like.

swaged said...

post your companies logo on this shitty respray with matching shitty resprayed parts

only 10K

Scrotmaster Chastidizer said...

I wonder why Rivendell isn't a "Targeted Sponsor"?

Chunk said...

After reading this and witnessing the tip of the spear of this "bike style," I realize the day I can put my NOS rasta anodized Kooka cranks on the eBay and retire to my own personal island is drawing near.

Oh, and I like that he called part of his shin dig a "Bike Expose" as if he knows the artist formerly known as The Bike Snob will be there.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Mojito,

I like being labeled a shark-jumper. You have a to reach a certain level of popularity to be accused of that, so the implication that I have obviates the insult. I also maintain that shark-jumping involves doing something spectacularly and desperately stupid. In slang parlance, chugging along and getting boring isn't called "shark-jumping," it's called "falling off." So the truly astute slanguist would say "BSNYC fell off."

As for April 1st, this site is (or aspires to be) funny every day. On April 1st, the straight sites get a chance to be funny so I felt fine about pulling off and soft-pedaling. It also gave me a chance to use a little irony to point out how stupid the Mavic R-Sys wheelset is, which was the main point of the post.

--RTMS (formerly BSNYC)

Brvn. said...

Horrendous. Perhaps even whorendous.

Anonymous said...

The painted bikes are obviously for bike walkers who have more dollars than sense.

And, yes, "The Future Of America" at 11:06am, I'd chip in for that. But I'd much rather chip in to keep the person who wants to be kindly addressed as actor Rip Torn's mug shot from shark-jumping.

Commiecanuk said...

Here's a question: how much would it cost me to get Toons to ride one of his "one-of-a-kind works of functional art" off of the Santa Monica Pier while dressed as Grover and singing the theme song to "Sesame Street?" Because I'd like to see that.

For CDN$78 I will ride off the Coney island pier dressed as Cookie Monster singing "C is for Cookie".

Canadian dollars only, none of that US stuff, we shred it and use it to insulate shit closets.

fleshblocks said...

I've noticed graphic/ad workers feel the need to define themselves as artists still, maybe due to the fact they got they're degrees in art schools. Toons is no more an artist than an in-house powerpoint/brochure layout employee at Altria.

Scott said...

I can just see the fellows at Campy scratching their heads as they allocate their advertising budget: Toons or Tom Boonen? Tough choice.

Anonymous said...

Saving The Messengers didn't work... perhaps we should re-direct our energies to saving RTMS (formerly known as BSNYC).

Dylan said...

Psh. Jumping the shark has jumped the shark.


Good work RTMS.

mojito said...

RTMS,

You're darn right that the fact that there's this debate about you shark-jumping or not confirms your celebraty status.

FWIW, I did want to add without seeming overly obsequious, that I am regularly surprised at how frequent and original your blog is. May the aquifer of snobby waters into which you have drilled your well continue to slake our thirst for put-down humor.

Matt in Seattle said...

Wow. I think I'm going to be sick...all over my bike...is that art?

Cameron said...

I'm speechless. All that crap makes me want to hurl myself of the Santa Monica Pier!

guns_o_brixton said...

For 25 euros, My friend Mary and I will skip stop a brakeless, fixed gear tandem into Boston Harbor while dressed as Burt and Ernie and singing Rubber Ducky.

Any takers? If so, please leave your email in a comment so I can send a secure credit card payment link.

Cameron said...

yes, that's right, I'm the Hurl of Santa Monica Pier.

mr.complaint said...

The NY skool of Paint on Crap U.

Yes, I'm gonna get sober and get my act together.............. honest.

The fixies hybrid mashup does remind me of The Epipleptic Bicycle.

Daniel! said...

Entertainment will be provided by LA-based DJs, musicians, and filmmakers.

If that "LA-based" don't get 'em, I don't know Arkansaw!

guns_o_brixton said...

Fuck shark jumping...That shit is for sissies. Try jumping a snapping turtle without losing a nut. That shit is dangerous.

Anonymous said...

To stick with the Happy Days/Fonz similies, I'd say that BSNYC is still nailing all the waitresses at Arnold's while he waits for Pinky Tuscadero to return. No water skis in sight.

Anonymous said...

PROLLY, what's your rationale that luke is BSNYC? I'm willing to believe, but I'm curious to hear your reasoning

Anonymous said...

RTMS, your hideously early morning posts are allowing the East Coast riders to jump-the-gun, while the West coast riders are doomed to snooze and lose.

Cameron said...

Anon 12:38

prolly's comment was in reference to this comment...

Tai Po said...

BSNYC, you commented:

I'm glad he's out there keeping sharp by paining live at "showcases dedicated to authentic art and culture."
*end quote*

Well, "paining" live may be just what he's doing, but "painting" is what you were quoting.
Perhaps you were telegraphing your unexpressed feelings.

I suspect "canvass" was from the press release or whatever sort of release it was.
Then again, maybe he was paining "an examination or discussion" (sense 1).

Thank you for sharing news of this event.

Anonymous said...

Cameron, I once stepped in the hurl of Santa Monica Pier, but I thought it was the detrius of some homeless drunk. I didn't realize that I had stepped on you. Sorry, man.

wishiwasmerckx said...

RTMS: "BSNYC fell off" my arse. This blog is more popular than ever. The only thing you fell off of was your cyclocross rig (or possibly your wife).

Cameron said...

Anon 1:01

By "detritus" is this what you mean?:)

ohminous_t said...

I like this race between the jump the shark extravaganza and the fixedgear apocalypse, there wasn't even a mention of this event being a sign of the coming apocalypse. refreshing, but counter productive to shark jumping.

Anonymous said...

The underground is overcrowded

Unpronounceable said...

I don't have a symbol yet. In the mean time, I dib "KsyriumNYC".

Faust Klasse said...

i think that one about the Academy of the Arts in Germany is made up. I study in germany at one of over ten of such institutions and they all have specific names and respective cities where they are located. there is no one definitive "academy". i mean germany is smaller than america, but it's not like it only has one of everything. if that is a real resume entry, then they should specify. I won't even start on the abuse of the word art here.

Mike Castawave said...

BikeSnob, check out this:

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/bik/629570813.html

mike

mander said...

That was awesome. At first i thought you might have been being a little too hard on this toons guy, but the farther along things got the more things seemed just right.

Anonymous said...

uh...shit closet?

sd said...

1- It's RTMS, or the blogger formerly know as BSNYC
2- WHAT! What the hell is so mockable about a moderately overpriced steamroller? Is it that the seller had a track bike, tried a fixed gear for a while, then decided he wants a track bike to walk down the street? Is RTMS supposed to opine on every fixed gear sold on craigslist, everywhere in the country? You CL add pointer outter guys are worse than the woogie woogie guy and rickrollers wrapped up in a quilt of ellipses.

quaffimodo said...

The appearance of Toonces the
Strictly Styling cat must be a harbinger of the apocalypse. There just can't be any other explanation.

sd said...

I would, however, recommend RTMS take a look at Mike Castaways blog. It is perfect fodder for mocking. His most popular tags are "emo" "indie pop" "photography" and "scooters" What are the bets that he's just saving up interest from his trust fund to move to brooklyn, cause portland isn't hip enough?

Anonymous said...

Faust Klasse, It's not like Germany only has one of everything, eh? Well, I'll tell you something that they don't have one of, and that's victories in a World War.

Anonymous said...

What's the voodoo head thing supposed to be for? I hope that's not the seat.

Anonymous said...

anon 2:12

Who'd of thought this particular individual could find their way to this site, must of been looking for the head shop

bikesgonewild said...

...quintessential proof that p.t.barnum had it right all along...

...as for all the talk about riding off piers, well that shark has officially been jumped by full sponsored red bull flugelfarts or whatever they're called...

...& speaking of artists changing their names, "toon" should change his to "snooze"...

guns_o_brixton said...

Anon @1:16pm:

"I wanna be different, just like everybody else." -King Missile

wine soaked lips said...

How much longer will cycling be fashionable in the mainstream? I can't take much more of this. In my fantasy benevolent dictatorship, these people would be publicly executed.

Russ said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Jared said...

The idea of you jumping the shark and winding down to a series finale is kind of a bummer. I've only recently started tuning in, so I'd much appreciate it if you could stick around for at least another couple seasons so I can feel like a legit fan. If not, I'll just have to hope that BSNYC reruns take the place of 2 and a Half Men or that the DVDs come out quickly so I can have all my friends over to watch and collectively whine about the show getting canceled.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 1:16 pm. said...
The underground is overcrowded

This whole comments section is that song personified. Great observation.

Anonymous said...

As the the...have you started stuttering boy?

Anonymous said...

My all white 'suburban' iron horse rebuild with white reflective tape doesn't seem all that bad now despite previous posts ...

Cinghiale said...

Prolly, you're no longer the lamest dork to be called out on this site.

Time to top yourself.
Maybe you and you geek squad can open for the New Kids on the Block reunion tour.

K Strayhorn said...

I know only three shop owners but the one thing they agree on is that it's a PITA to get advertising material out of Campy. The owner of Kitty Hawk Cycles said it was actually easier to buy a used banner off Ebay than to try to pry one out of the regional rep.

And these people think Campy is going to pony up $10k to have their logo plastered on a C-Record crank after their "artist" has unloaded a can of Krylon on it?

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous said...

uh...shit closet?



Sorry, restroom. We don't rest in them up here.

Pinchfinger said...

Dear RTMS,

Your header says it all: "I've obviously sold out", so what is shark jumping to you.

You, cat, 'set the trends and leave before the crowds arrive'.

And speaking of trends, the former BSNYC has been quoted in the latest issue of Velo News, the Paris-Roubaix issue, page 30.

You have become a media maven.

Daniel! said...

Is RTMS supposed to opine on every fixed gear sold on craigslist, everywhere in the country? You CL add pointer outter guys are worse than the woogie woogie guy and rickrollers wrapped up in a quilt of ellipses.

Word! Are we all supposed to drop everything and go "ooh, a bike for sale! On Craigslist!"

Sorry, restroom. We don't rest in them up here.

Yeah, Canadians shit on the go. And no one there uses "restroom", or "bathroom", or any other euphemism. Even two-year babies say "shit closet" exclusively. Granted, the novelty of swearing fades much more slowly in the cold...

Rick Astely said...

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooohh give you up)
(Ooohh give you up)
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, (give you up)
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, (give you up)


We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

K-zoo said...

guns_o_brixton said...

"I wanna be different, just like everybody else." -King Missile
April 4, 2008 2:48 PM


"Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,I like having a detachable penis." also King Missile

Not sure they are the most quotable of lyricists...

Anonymous said...

I thought that we had been through this before already. O.K., so you don't actually rest in the restroom, but why do you shit in the closet? Doesn't it make your clothes stink?

bikesgonewild said...

...cinghiale...you've gone from boar to bore...
...fucking prolly doesn't need me to defend him but your equating him to being "the lamest dork to be called out on this site" is verifiable evidence that you haven't been giving this site the diligent daily review it requires...

...& k strayhorn...shhhh...step lightly around that issue...campagnolo is structured similarly to another well known italian 'family organization'...regional reps are reputed to be made men & if word filters back to american capo di tutti capo richey s, you may wake up to a bed of chain-oil soaked sheets & the severed fork & headset of your favorite bike next to yer cycle tanned ankles...

...i think i've said to much...

Cameron said...

What's with the rush of Rick Astley references on the web lately? I swear, I can't even look at camgirl videos on youtube without someone slipping me a Rick Astley VH1 Pop-up video clip--cuz they think it's funny or something.

Carlos from Philly said...

Any reason you've started opting for unnecessarily meanspirited instead of funny?
You're starting to sound like a whiny bitch (not the good kind).

mr.complaint said...

Commiecanuk

Use the toilet. Mr. Astley will meet you there.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Carlos from Philly,

If you go back and check, you'll find I've been a whiny, mean-spirited bitch since the very first post. (And before, I might add!)

--BSNYC

leroy said...

Dear artist formerly known as BSNYC --

That Rip Torn mug shot from Smoking Gun has long been a favorite.

Nice!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Oops! I meant to sign that RTMS!

--RTMS

wishiwasmerckx said...

Carlos from Philly, there is a good kind of whiny bitch? Must be a Philly thing.

OpenYourEyes said...

cameron

the rick astley stuff is all about him needing to raise money for an haircut.
It's like on CL missed connections. Whenever someone wants to up the pub and increase traffic to their joint, they just start posting about the "beautiful blond behind the bar" who locked eyes with the posting patron. Then, 'sho nuff, at least 10 extra people go in there to see if they can make eyes with the blond behind the bar.
Same for Rick- start posting a lot of shit about yourself and people will be wringing up you musak, thus enabling you to get a nice style and cut from the royalty check.

Oh, and Carlos, welcome to the blog. It's clear you are very new to RTMS...

A good whiny bitch?

Strayhorn said...

bikesgonewild said campagnolo is structured similarly to another well known italian 'family organization'

Uh, I hadn't thought about it quite like that.

I think I'll delete my comments, delete my account, sell my Campy stuff, and buy a bike from Costco.

bikeslob 80220 said...

I will soon come out with my own line of reproductions of Toons' work, along with some original pieces inspired by his art. I just spraypainted a broken Suntour Cyclone rear derailleur with metallic purple aerosol temporary hair dye from Hot Topic. It looks absolutely fucking amazing.

Anonymous said...

Bike snob, you just got rick rolled!!!!

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob, you are a genius.

Anonymous said...

Sweeeet Christ.

Jonathan said...

Toons needs to put the can of spray paint down the next time he has a bicycle cross his path and try to do something more inspired and less comercial like this

http://www.trendhunter.com/photos/realist-cardboard-sculptures-by-chris-gilmour

This honors cycling rather than reducing it to the latest trend.

thomas said...

Jesse Puente is actually really good. You should go watch him ride ... good luck binning him! I wonder how stupid thse fixed gear "flatlanders" will look next to him.

Nick M said...

This is communism at it's best: redistirbution of wealth through pure stupidity and bull.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to point out that Toons' "Bike Style" logo is a total bite from the logo for the 80s graf movie "Wild Style", done by actual graffiti writer & actual ex-NYC messenger Zephyr.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the organizers are aware that they are 4 years BEHIND the guy in Kansas who put together "the art of the Bicycle" show?(at least it was a fun show/party, with a proper derby) Face it, the NY art fags were beaten to the punch by FARMERS!

Anonymous said...

Here is the scariest thing I have seen so far.

Although, technically, it is not really cycling related:

http://gizmodo.com/376236/the-running+powered-bike-is-pure-ludicrousness

bikesgonewild said...

...jeez, i feel so mocked...not only has the blogger formerly known as bikesnobnyc changed his name to a mugshot of actor rip torn but every time i see that photo i think to myself "that is practically what i see in the mirror every morning"...

...if i had a little more hair, was a little more handsome & had better grooming habits like rip, that'd be my picture...sheesh...

bikeslob 80220 said...

Bike-related "missed connections"

http://denver.craigslist.org/mis/630445470.html

If you can describe the bike you were riding, maybe you can get lucky. I'll bet most of us can describe it.

Anonymous said...

fixed gear hipsters, mountain bikers, downhill, road, cyclo (well maybe not yet). the hunters of cool have found you. they are taking your corpse to the merchants and will sell your way of life for everything and anything that they can market. this is it. within
short time, it wont be an incident of just scenes of hip people on bicycles. masses, masses, god the horror, a "culture" and "lifestyle" stylishly marketed to you like one of toons pepsi peices of urban art.
.......but hey, theres gonna be more people on bikes, thats cool right?

jimmythefly said...

anonymous 9:56

It has internal cable routing, look closely and you can see a bit of cable leave the stop and go into a hole in the frame. Originally there would have been downtube shifters mounted where the cable stop is now. This was meant to be more aerodynamic than normal shifter bosses that stick out to the sides of the downtube.

Anonymous said...

Can we get some Rip Torn's Mug Shot stickers, Rip Torn's Mugshot?

leroy said...

You know, that Rip Torn mug shot would make an attractive graphic for a jersey.

Not something huge splashed across the chest.

That would be tacky.

No, something along the lines of a tasteful, discreet and subtle logo above the heart with the words "The Artist Formerly Known as BSNYC" circling it.

That would be way cooler than a polo pony or that Brooks Brothers logo with the sheep that's into bondage. ("Honest Your Honor, that sheep was asking for it. Otherwise it would never have let me dress it in that provocative manner.")

But I digress.

I'd much rather pay for a tasteful artist formerly known as BSNYC jersey than shell out cash to let some guy scribble on my bike.

I think I see a business opportunity for the artist formerly known as BSNYC.

Andy Pandy said...

Suns out and warm I think I will go riding

Anonymous said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP! DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW STUPID YOU FUCKIN SOUND! If you don't like it don't look at it! What are you the fuckin PMRC of the bike world?! I guess you guys'll be voting republican also come November! Fuckin NAZI'S! Bunch of CRY-BABBIES whin'n about being beat to the punch! Just take your cynide pill and end the PAIN now! WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon - April 7, 2008 10:49 AM

you are gay.

hilary clinton said...

Anonymous 10:49 said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP! DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW STUPID YOU FUCKIN SOUND! If you don't like it don't look at it! What are you the fuckin PMRC of the bike world?! I guess you guys'll be voting republican also come November! Fuckin NAZI'S! Bunch of CRY-BABBIES whin'n about being beat to the punch! Just take your cynide pill and end the PAIN now! WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Commiecanuk said...

Strayhorn said...

I think I'll delete my comments, delete my account, sell my Campy stuff, and buy a bike from Costco.


Joe Kirkland was the secret frame builder of Lance Armstrong in the early TDF days.
(Try the Dr. Kirkland EPO and HGH.)

bonechilling said...

What the hell happened here?

Ronsonic said...

"Authentic art." An apparently magic phrase to be associated with pimped out work-for-hire.

Sorta like the virgin hooker.

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Anonymous said...

"I want my logo on the art bike with the threaded-to-threadless adapter and the misaligned anodized purple brake pad which has already nicely marred the powdercoated non-machined rim. I'm getting the sense that while Toons may be quite marketing-savvy he doesn't pay much attention to detail. You know, the Mutant stem came in a quill version too. What's the matter, was the buy-it-now on eBay too high? I wonder if, for an additional five bucks, Toons could be bothered to remove that NOS Michelin and put it back on with the label aligned with the valve stem for me."

He might know art (questionable, but he might), but Toons damned sure doesn't know bikes.

yogi said...

I reckon I can sin 2 at once

I can cover my bike in patterned contact so not only will I have a gross paint job, but I can make it act like a tube protector at the same time.

perhaps I can also put some of the same contact between my nipples (on my wheel silly) and make matching wheels.
Do not be concerned with brake surface.. I am posenger I don't have brakes... (I do really but i need some street cred cause Im so insecure).
Actually I must say Fixies suck. only good for tack and tricks.

if you wanna argue.. keep riding a fixed gear. i will send you to the same guy who fixed my f**ked knee. he is very good.
time over matter.

Anonymous said...

Wow. SLAP!

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for all you lame ass fucks. Your the reason that cycling has been known to the public for sisses, fruity pants, nerds, and suckers without style. Your whole thing is putting down something that you are incapable of doing. That is coming up with something fresh. Good luck with your hating selves. You should have a convention and just all drink the kool-aid and lay the fuck down.

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuk, that was funny about what you said re: Cipollini. Awesome.

If nobody got a chance to check out their opening here in LA, here are some photos.

http://blog.qmania.com/2009/01/bikestyler-customs-official-opening.html

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