Thursday, April 10, 2008

Don't Tread On Me: Building a Nation of Cyclists


So I’ve been watching this “John Adams” thing on HBO with the guy from “Sideways.” Apart from being entertaining, it’s also informative. For example, did you know that before America was the United States it used to be part of England? Well, it’s true. Granted, that was a long time ago—sometime after the Civil War if I’m not mistaken—but yeah, we actually had to fight England to gain our independence.

The main reason this happened was because a bunch of Americans thought it was unfair that they had to pay all these taxes to England and do all this stuff for them, even though it didn’t serve their own interests. And this got me thinking. As cyclists, we’re a lot like those early Americans. We pay taxes for roads that are designed primarily for automobiles. We’re saddled with a medical care system that’s overburdened by non-cyclists who are chronically ill due to their sedentary lifestyles. And worst of all, we have to go to work and stuff, even when it’s really nice out and we’d rather be riding.

So I started thinking more. In fact, I thought so hard I almost fell off my bike, since I find it difficult to think and ride at the same time. I asked myself, “What is cycling?” Is it a sport? Yeah, sure, for some. Is it a job? It can be. Is it a hobby? A social scene? A form of transportation? A lifestyle? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And then it hit me like an overzealous new brakeless Pista owner on his way home from the bike shop. Cycling is all that and more. We are a nation.

As a nation, I think we should start acting like one. Now, you’re probably wondering what I mean by that. Do I mean that we should start putting aside our differences, respecting one another, and working together to advance the common good? No freaking way. I’ve been to that nation already. It’s called Canada, it’s extremely boring, and I have no intention of going back. No, what I mean is that we should stand up and demand recognition as a nation. In the meantime, there’s stuff we have and stuff we need. Let’s take a look.

STUFF WE NEED:

Our Own Holiday

As a people we desperately need our own holiday. And I’m not talking about one of those underground holidays either, like Buy Nothing Day or 4/20. Buy Nothing Day is insulting, since there are people on this planet for whom every day is Buy Nothing Day, and I’m sure they’d appreciate it if instead of celebrating Buy Nothing Day people celebrated Buy Us Something Because We’re Starving Day. And 4/20 is just dumb. A day where you don’t go to work and just smoke weed all day? Uh, I know plenty of pot smokers, and that day is called Wednesday. And anyway, these days already cover the 31 year-old “promising amateur road racers” who live out of their cars, and the mountain bike and messenger communities respectively.

No, we need a legitimate, publicly-recognized holiday that’s all ours. And since we’re never going to agree on a day, I say we hijack a holiday that already exists. So why not Arbor Day? Nobody’s using it, and it seems to have been replaced with Earth Day anyway. So let’s just change Arbor Day to Cyclists Day.

Our Own Homeland

OK, this may be a tall order, but as a nation I think a homeland would be great for our self-esteem. Unfortunately, most of the Earth’s real estate is not only already claimed, but is also under dispute. So I think we might just have to steal a little patch of grass for ourselves. And the patch I propose is Long Island.

This may seem like an unlikely choice, but Long Island has a lot going for it as a cycling homeland. It’s big, but you can cycle its entire length in a day. It’s got some nice mountain bike trails, and some nice roads too. It’s got good beaches as well as some of the best parts of New York City. It’s also got two major airports, a decent public transportation infrastructure, and a number of barrier beaches where we can sequester freaks like the recumbent riders and the tall bike people. Best of all, I wouldn’t have to move.

The downsides are the cold winters, the lack of epic climbs, and the huge non-cycling native population that would need to be relocated or forced into internment camps. But nothing’s perfect.

Our Own Cheese

Really, what is a group of people without its own kind of cheese? A nation without a cheese is like a rapper without a clothes line, or a celebrity without a fragrance. (Bottled fragrance, I mean.) And until we have one, nobody is going to take us seriously. If there are any cheese-makers or -mongers among us, we’re going to need a few of you to get to work on that. But just stay away from me in the meantime, because you probably smell funny.

STUFF WE HAVE:

Our Own Industry

Well, we still need a TV network, but we’ve got the magazines and the internet. We’ve also got the factories. This is especially important, because in times of war they can be converted to military use and can be used to produce weapons and ammunition. We’ve also got groups that would be of good use during wartime. Imagine roadie strike forces, stealthily taking to the roads in the night, while in the woods guerilla mountain bikers perform daring sneak attacks. Even the triathletes can be put to use for amphibious assaults. And the tight-trousered, neckerchief-wearing fixed-gear riders can just cower in their basements, sucking on bottles of cheap beer with nipples on them until it's all over.

Our Own Folk Heroes

You want folk heroes? We’ve got ‘em by the pound:

Jobst Brandt=Paul Bunyan
Sheldon Brown=Ben Franklin
Tammy Thomas=Paul Bunyan



(Tammy Thomas, the mythical cycling lumberjack)


I could go on and on...

Our Own Version of the Amish

Everybody loves the Amish. They’re a proud people who have been immortalized and/or shamed in such films as “Witness,” “Kingpin,” and Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise.” Well, if we’re going to be a true nation, we also need to have our own sect of technologically backwards people to visit and gawk at. Fortunately, we do, and they’re called "retrogrouches." Once we’ve achieved nationhood the retrogrouches will form their own community where we can all go to purchase their handicrafts. I’m imagining a quaint little town where we can buy wool jerseys they’ve woven on their looms, lugged frames they’ve built in their workshops, and of course delicious hunks of our national cheese. (See above.) Just don’t take any pictures of them—you’ll steal their souls! And please refrain from touching their beards.

112 comments:

Anonymous said...

podium?

Anonymous said...

podium!

AnnaZed said...

"Don't Tread on Me" is the battle cry of the Southern United Staes during the Civil War.

I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

I hate the Amish, smug like Prius drivers

Anonymous said...

Brodium

L'Hippo said...

Another masterwork from the genius of BSNYC!

Perhaps a Parrot said...

31 year old "promising amateur racers" living out of their cars -- buy nothing day -- WHAT A HOOT BSNYC!!!!

AnnaZed said...

Nevermind, I am ... just WRONG.

tominator said...

Outstanding idea. I, too have been thinking about our founding fathers recently, reading "The First American" about Benjamin Franklin on a plane to Denver yesterday. I thought Colorado was a cyclist's paradise, but while you are enjoying a 70 degree day in NY, we're having a damn BLIZZARD here. Long Island is perfect - mountains are overrated anyway.

I would like to be Thomas Jefferson, alternating the writing of our Declaration of Independence with boinking my bride.

Dylan said...

Grant Petersen should be chosen to lead our Amish.

Cameron said...

What about a National Anthem?

bother yam said...

I suggest that we not only confiscate Arbor Day, but that we call it Major Taylor Day.

daddo.one said...

snob, are you out of work? your posts are getting long! don't get me wrong the quaity is there, just noticing a certain.....
...lentgh

Pete said...

as a vegan cyclist, (which is a lifestyle social scene movement), I formally secede from the union due to our national cyclist food being a form of animal by-product, and not a dairy free muffincake.

erik k said...

well we are going to need some sort of flag

vacuumrunamok said...

I think the real problem with this plan is getting roadies to eat hardtack. In the midst of a revolution I doubt our fledging First Cyclists Council/Congress will be able to afford to keep supplying the Stealth Roadie Strikers with Gu and related goop. Maybe the roadies could just drink water fortified with the blood of our enemies?

Pedal Strike Force Agent Down said...

We already have a nation.

...SE Portland.

quaffimodo said...

I'm reasonably certain that you could have made your point without gratuitously tammythomasing us.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pete,

It can be some sort of soy-based vegan cheese. Nobody's going to eat it anyway. It's the kind of thing people will bring to each-other's houses on Cyclists Day that will end up sitting around for two weeks then getting thrown away. (Or, if you're a vegan, composted.)

Erik K,

I like the flag. You are our nation's Betsy Ross.

--BSNYC o/b/o RTMS

Polygraf said...

Ok so we take L.I., deport anyone who does not own a bike, drive and dump all the cars in jersey, we keep the airports primarily for revenue since we can never leave(its in the constitution)- wait will there be mandatory military service?

Matt said...

Anon 12:14 may hate the Amish but around here where the Amish live the highways all have nice wide shoulders which are great for riding on other than the occasional horse spoor.

As for Amish handicrafts, we were camping once in Wisconsin near an Amish settlement and they had a Saturday market so we went to it and I bought my fair-skinned son one of those Amish straw hats to keep him from getting sunburned. It was made in China.

Gosh, remember Amish in the City on tv? Some Amish kids go to LA and live with a bunch of worthless SoCal youth (club promoter, aspiring porn star, etc)? We could have Rivendell riders try out, like, carbon frames!

Anonymous said...

What about bike to work day, May 16th this year? I guess that is a holiday for people who normally don't ride to work though, doesn't do us regulars any good.

Jim said...

I disagree with your analysis of Tammy Thomas. I think she's a bit more like Babe the Blue Ox. Or perhaps the bar that Davy Crocket kilt.

Daddo.one - I agree with you. Why write all that funny stuff, when a simple "fuck off" would suffice.

Coming tomorrow - Daddo.one's gloss on classic works of art - Tolstoy's "War." Shakespeare's "Ham." Michelangelo's "Lisa." Wagner's "Dutchy." Iron Butterfly's 2 minute long "Vida." And a column on the new pedal-powered two-wheeler of the Reader's Digest Condensed Books set, a unicycle that has no pedals and no seat.

Cameron said...

I would just re-gift my Cyclist Day Cheese Roll on the following Cyclist Day.

Jim said...

Annazed, "Don't Tread on Me" was also on one of the first flags under which the Revolutionary Army fought, the Gadsden Flag. It's also the name of a Metallica song.

I'm just sayin'.

sh said...

I think the real problem with this plan is getting roadies to eat hardtack.

that cracked me up vacuumrunamok, it really did.

Matt said...

Tominator was 'reading "The First American" about Benjamin Franklin on a plane to Denver'. I'm not sure about this, but I don't think they had airplanes when Benjamin Franklin was around. Or Denver, either, for that matter. I'd question the value of that book if I were you.

Cameron said...

When I saw that picture of Tammy Thomas, I thought it was Paul McCartney's face photochopped on.

Anonymous said...

this is the national anthem

Pedal Strike Force Agent Down said...

But someone has to make the first few cheese rolls, right? They can't all have been re-gifted.

AnnaZed said...

JIm, I know, I think (gasp) that I was trying to podium even though I had actually read the post.

What is WRONG with me?

Anonymous said...

A national cheese? BSNYC o/b/o RTMS, are you Danish?

Anonymous said...

Queen's "Bicycle Race" should be the national anthem. That would make Freddy Mercury our Francis Scott Key!

BTW, what is the name of our nation? Cyclist's Republic of America?

Anonymous said...

and on the memorials of our town squares the following names will be a constant reminder to generations of the sacrifices made by our forefathers so that we could enjoy our freedom:

Tom Simpson
Fabio Casartelli
Isaac Galvez
Amy Gillet

They may have departed, but they will forever be in our saddle attached tool kits.

Jimmyveneto

Giles said...

Oh, BS-NYC, congratulations on finally doing another post that was actually readably entertaining. It's been a while--thank you.

Anonymous said...

Can we move all the puds who sit around all day trying to PODIUM on this blog to the interment camps with the non-cyclists? If we have to keep them, could we have a succession of races on our National Holiday that are comprised of 3 riders each, so they can all have one podium story a year to share with their Tammy Thomas look-alike girlfriends?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Giles,

Thanks, your approbation means everything. Backhanded compliments are my favorite.

--RTMS

leroy said...

We need an anthem. Gotta have an anthem. Kinda of like Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be an American."

And I'm proud to be a cyclist, though my fixed gear don't roll free.

And I won't forget BSNYC who lampooned that right for me.

Okay, it needs work, but you see the point, right?

mr.complaint said...

Nation? Like France? And fromage? Et Les Alpes? Sacrebleu!

mojito said...

RTMS: Great stuff again.

A digression. To churn out such well written original stuff so frequently you must be:
a. on meth, &/or
b. not working in a 'real' job &/or
c. bipolar, &/or
d. two people or more, &/or
e. permanently stressed

As to #e.: a piece in Sunday's NY Times talks more about bloggers burning the candles at both ends (it must be cutting edge and accurate, because it's in the Times, see).

"http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/06/technology/06sweat.html?ref=todayspaper"

Anonymous said...

Does it strike- no pun intended- anyone else that Tammy Thomas' hairdo is eerily similar to Randy Quaid's in Kingpin?http://www.imdb.com/media/rm709269760/ch0012624

David Blaine said...

Is Joe Breeze the Ralph Nader or the Al Gore of this Brave New World?

Anonymous said...

No question about a war-chief...David Clinger.

Anonymous said...

Racing slick:

"No Tread on Me."

Anonymous said...

Fellow future citizens of this great nation, I would like to announce my candidacy for president. My platform is as follows:
1. no platform pedals
2. supreme court justices in the mold of BSNYC and Lennard Zinn
3. no headwinds
4. no flats

Joer said...

plants are people too, pete!

fomenter said...

Must tri-geeks be included in this new nation? Then again, I suppose having them around will help foster enough divisiveness to make this nation legit. Cycletopia be damned.

Anonymous said...

$50 bucks says tammy thomas threatens BSNYC with a law suite.

This is exactly how Patent Troll got busted!

BotchedExperiment

Anonymous said...

outted, not busted

Botched

g said...

I hate to bring it up, but, since we are allowing tri's in, do we have to let recumbants in? or can we treat them like the french treat quebecians? we potentially share a wheel size, but foster utter contempt?

mojito said...

g - you mean Quebecois? Regardless, I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Backhanded compliments? O.K., Snob, for a fat girl, you don't sweat much.

Anonymous said...

Can I nominate Kraftwerk's "Tour de France" as our national anthem?

did said...

This is especially important, because in times of war they can be converted to military use and can be used to produce weapons and ammunition.

Please tell me you've read the Spike Bike sagas.

did

SeattleM&M said...

Uhhh, only digital cameras will retrogrouch souls. Film cameras are, of course, retrogrouch-safe.

SeattleM&M said...

#@%&$!!! "will steal retrogrouch souls"

tominator said...

OK, Matt,

You caught me. I pride myself on being a grammar guru, and yet I was tripped up on a misplaced modifier. Oh, the horror.

To correct:

"I, too have been thinking about our founding fathers recently, reading "The First American" about Benjamin Franklin WHILE on a plane to Denver yesterday."

My brain was likely addled by the continuous flatulance that my seat-mates were emitting.

wine soaked lips said...

Score and score.
I was born on LI (although I couldn't wait to get the fuck out and I did) and I think I might just be happy living in the Retrogrouch community - and it already exists on LI! - Old Bethpage!

Pedal Strike Force Agent Down said...

It's getting late in the day.


Where's our second post?!

The huddled masses demand a second post!

Anonymous said...

Arrh! Don't group me with the tall-bike riders! Recumbents are so much cooler than tall-bikes!
Damn you BikeSnob!

Always taking shots at us...

I'm going to go and cry now.

- Anonymous Recumbent rider

zak said...

they prefer to be called "quebexicans"

Anonymous said...

Check out this article in our local rag the comments are priceless.

Article

OpenYourEyes said...

That Tammy Thomas fellow looks a bit like Floyd Landis and wasn't he amish, or danish, or quaker or pennsylvanian or some such religious sectarian?

Would we be able to have bridges to the island that raise so no idiot driver comes and crashes into the peleton, the peleton that will be called "rush hour?" And will Phil come to do the traffic report?

The possibilities are endless with this idea.

What's the name of the country going to be? And please no more blatant ass-kissery like the flag: RTMS might be a spokesman for the cause but, as that aggressive guy running for president who wears dresses wrote, "it takes a village" and we would all be a part of this. RTMS wouldn't have his pic on the flag anymore than bikesgonewild- oh wait, that is is his picture. RTMS wouldn't have his picture on the flag anymore than "anonymous" would.
My vote is it should be a silhouette of a crank, since cranks are common to all rides.
erik "Betsy" K would that be more plausable?

bikesgonewild said...

...tominator & matt...glad you guys clarified that cuz i was burning through wikipedia looking for info on benjamin franklin & airplanes...key on kite string, ya, & maybe on that junket to france he did the balloon thing w/ the montgolfier brothers but nothin' much else...

...erik 'betsy ross' k...close but maybe crossed mtb & road wheels somewhere behind the founders likeness...no 'velocity' rims though...

...anyway, 'til this baby gets rolling, put a wheel in your window at night w/ a candle behind it so the neighbors know where ya stand & remember "seize the lane"...

g said...

openyoureyes,
once again, you have proven the voice of reason. While I would suggest a spoked wheel rather than the crank. Don't want to leave the unicyclists out.
anon 3:46,
that's the same pissing and moaning those articles get everywhere. It's really sad when it's written in the wake of someone getting killed (guess which camp they're from).

bikesgonewild said...

...openyoureyes...lemme get this straight, you wanna use a silhouette of my crank on a flag ???...
...damn, i'd be honored...

gene99 said...

As a current Long Island resident and cyclist I’d like to volunteer to help the cause in any way I can. I think I can be most useful spying, spreading disinformation or compiling an enemies list – something I think absolutely necessary to keep the local population in check after a takeover. All I ask in return is to be appointed chief of police of Long Beach, and perhaps a little latitude if I settle a few scores.

I would also be amenable to surrender on behalf of Long Islanders and have a flag planted on my lawn, once you get the design together. (But please; nothing that would violate building codes.)

To demonstrate my loyalty to the cause, I’m going to go out for a short bike ride at 5. I will shout at anyone who wanders into the boardwalk bike lane, “Vive la Nation du Cyclistes, asshole!!”

BikeSnobNYC said...

gene99,

I'm fine with that, as long as I get comped on beach passes going forward.

--BSNYC

Matt said...

If we're going to have a flag of bikesgonewild's crank maybe it should be more like a windsock.

Matt said...

"I hate the Amish, smug like Prius drivers"

I've been reading how the blind people are all mad about Priuses because they are nearly silent when running on electricity so mow down the blind and also cyclists etc. Some legislatures are considering requiring noisemakers on the cars to give the blind a fighting chance. I think I'll suggest that the noise be "clip clop clip clop neiighh" and then the horsey lip-flapping snort noise. Also, just like Mercedes is introducing piss-injected diesels, the Prius could be modified to drop clumps of poop on the road every once in a while.

KanyonKris said...

Long Island is NOT good enough! Did the Jewish people settle for any old chunk of land? NO, it was the Holy Land or nothing! If we are indeed a nation we should claim our true home - the Pyrenees or bust! The Alps too (though we may have to fight mountaineers for them).

And we'd boot ASO and run the Tour of Cyclostan!

Viva la Bicycle!

gene99 said...

kanyonkris, You besmirch my domocile and sacred cycling grounds. But truth be told, you're right to do so. Relatively speaking, the cycling sucks. Not to mention all of the Butafucco's drivin' around in their monstorous black SUV's, or the moron's yapping into their cell phones on the LIRR.

So cross LI off the list. France - or northern Spain - is much better. (But I'm still going on the boardwalk and yell at people in the bike lane.)

OpenYourEyes said...

I do not support the image of bikesgonewild's crank on the flag. That would surely cause division with the females in the country. The she-males would be ok with it, I guess, but not the lesbians, nor the asexual. No, the crank I meant was the actual thingy that goes through the dooma-flatchy and turns when you put your feet on the clippy clamps at the end of the arm deals.

Oh crap, another post- I've gotta go!

Anonymous said...

RTFMS, Thank you for introducing me to Opinionated Cyclist (was it last week?).

I think you should co-promote with the guy, as he will provide a solid anchor should you drift towards shark-leaping.

And he will put the money to good use on things like food and utility bills. And maybe Cheerwine?
Well... that's from North Carolina (NOCA), but it's close enough for me. Maybe you can team up with a food or beverage company, too and sponsor a team for a year or two?
You've maybe not got the financing, but you got the brand recognition.

Speaking of marketing gobbledygook, when will Velocity and Grant Petersen market the Speedblend rims, dadgubmint? What's the frigging holdup? I mean, argyle's over and I need something new and really ugly. Do they have any fractals? Grateful Dead bears? Paisley?
Gene Simmons branded anything?

Thanks for the entertaining words and pictures.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

SHELDON BROWN!

Legends never die!

Can we have a statue of him in the Cyclostan Freedom Square?

Cameron said...

Of course, I needed to burn an hour or so and join the fun designing a flag.

Option 1

bikesgonewild said...

...hey, hey, easy there...ya bastids...

...sheesh, i was talking about my campagnolo 'record' ultra torque system, compact, hollow carbon-fiber crankset...now, while i DO tell the chicks they're 185mm's, i think if we're gonna build a cycling nation together then i gotta come clean & admit they're really 172.5mm's...

...just sayin' for honesty's sake...

Anonymous said...

Sadly, my crank is compact, too. From the emails I keep getting I think my wife's been talking.

sunseasurf said...

Dude. Just because cyclists are fit doesn't mean they don't need the health system. Next time you come into my ER after getting hit by a car you better be wearing a brain bucket...

Cameron said...

So is option 2 out of the question?

Jim said...

BTW, what is the name of our nation? Cyclist's Republic of America?

Unfortunately, it's The Rock & Republic. It was going to be Cyclostan, but Michael Ball got wind of it, paid a shitload of money, and the sanctioning body of Cyclostan quickly sold out.

On the positive side of the coin, now that Michael Ball is the maximum leader, the Recumbent riders have quit in a contract dispute, Frankie Andreu has promised to leave us alone, and there's a shitload of hot chicks wandering around.

On the downside, WADA is targeting the messengers for drug testing (any messenger found clean will be immediately suspended for two years), and now have to put up with 6 hour-long, Castro-like deranged, rambling speeches from Michael Ball telling us what a great country the Rock & Republic is, and how the 5 year plan will deliver ever-brighter shades of neon-green, ever more amazing weaves of carbon fiber, and even longer and more confused Michael Ball speeches.

sunseasurf said...

you know the vietnam war was won by bicycles? they could fit 400 pounds of gear on a bike and run it through the jungle on a single track trail that no truck could get through. they had better supply lines than the USA.

roomservicetaco said...

Appropos of nothing, another site's witty, snobby take on the Euro cycling look:

Official Rules of the Euro Cyclist

mander said...

Hooooray!

jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Andy Pandy said...

Recumerants should be the stealth fighters/ suicide bombers. Last night I saw one riding home in total darkness, almost invisible. I don’t respect that sub group but I suppose I should respect his death wish and exploit it. Plus if we have to stand up as a fledgling nation does that mean that they get to lie down.

And will we need to offer bags of trinkets and beads to secure our homeland or just annex it and build a big concrete wall over night. And our hero Tammy should be careful about five o’├žlock shadow unless she / he wants that George Michael look

Anonymous said...

Jason, great link. Thanks!

Andy Pandy said...

On thinking this through there is a fatal flaw which would lead us to extinction. Given that we a would be a nation of early risers , banging out miles and forever exhausted, the nation would never re-populate as we would all be asleep in front of the TV . Or otherwise bring in healthy concubines

Anonymous said...

I realize I am way to late... but here is another reason we must make the pyrenees as our founding land: http://tinyurl.com/44t7f5 long island is already been taken by a 45 year old man living with his mother.

Cameron said...

Damit, both my posts before had broken links....

Flag Options
One
and
Two

Nick A. said...

Dude, you've reached a new plateau of wise-assery!

Bravo!

Nick

bikesgonewild said...

...well, it's obvious erik k & cameron are gonna be the art studio rats of the new nation...you guys mind whipping up about 100,000 variations on those bike themes so we don't all look the same...

...& regarding those options, cam, i tend to lean towards #2...i can't think of what it is exactly but i reminds me of something i own or something i've seen around my digs...i'm sure it'll come to me in time...

Philip Williamson said...

Michelangelo's "Lisa?"

quaffimodo said...

Regardless of what we choose for our National Anthem, can we at least agree that all crits will be halted after the seventh circuit so that Letle Viride can belt it out?

+1 on the healthy concubines.

What shall we call the coin of the realm? How about the Zinn?

Anonymous said...

I'm glad some people brought up the flag and the anthem. No self respected nation could do without. After a nation, we need a leader. Somebody who says: "We will prevail." And then, you need to start looking into straightening out some distant foreign biking nation. Perhaps the biking community of Uberzaïstan?
I'm all for it. Then of course, I'm not part of your nation, I'm Canadian...

Anonymous said...

yeah what about mallorca? it already is cyclist heaven

Marrock said...

Ben Franklin would ride a 'bent.

Anonymous said...

no, no, no. You got the wrong picture posted. That isn't a picture of Tammy Thomas. That is another rider named Thomas Tammy. Get yer facts straight, dude.

Anonymous said...

Uh, roadies DO eat hardtack. It's called a "Powerbar."

Frank the Tank said...

Anon 1:04 pm. Who was that?

Frank the Tank said...

Fomenter-

You gotta have someone on the front lines of the revolution.

Anonymous said...

You forgot the professional sport which would of course be bicycle polo..and Long Island is a crappy country to post up shop in.

though it is your dream so I am going with it. It beats LA.

john said...

Re. the cheese thing, I have a favorite cyclist cheesemonger - discovered her shop recently and am now in love with the cheese and the place. The shop logo involves cycling too. Check it out here: http://www.saxelbycheese.com/

john said...

Re. the cheese thing, I have a favorite cyclist cheesemonger - discovered her shop recently and am now in love with the cheese and the place. The shop logo involves cycling too. Check it out here: http://www.saxelbycheese.com/

steph said...

I must commend you; Bike Snob NYC is always a great site to read, but this post is particular managed to be informative and still maintain a sense of humor. I definitely have found this to be true that biking permeates many communities and makes all of part of this cycling “nation” you refer to. The parallel you draw between bikers and Americans as baby nations really works well for the purposes of your blog post. I was laughing all the way through your article, simply because I completely agreed with it, but am able to recognize that any non-biker would find it utterly ridiculous. This does not stop me from agreeing with you on all counts. I would have liked to read your description of what exactly Cyclist’s Day would entail. Maybe nobody is allowed to use a car for the day, which would be difficult. Or perhaps people should be encouraged to find time to ride a bike at some point during the day. We could have bike parades! However the technicalities of the holiday work out, I see your point, that having a holiday makes a group nationally recognized. In terms of our own homeland, I think we may already be closer to this than you suggest here. I think the likely choice would be somewhere overseas where a vast numbers of the population ride bikes daily, but even here in Los Angeles we have a designated bicycle district on a block that was not taken that cyclists have somewhat hijacked.


I appreciated that you balanced out your post and prevented it from turning into a whiny rant, by also cataloging the progress cyclists have made so far because the things that we already have are what make the cycling community what it is right now. The industry is huge. Last week I wrote a post about hipsters and cyclists, differences, and referenced much of the garb people buy to distinguish themselves as bikers. Let me just say thank you. Thank you for comparing Sheldon Brown to Ben Franklin. That was perfect and made my day. I think it makes it much more sense to fight for out rights in this way, to celebrate what we have, than to allow ourselves to get upset by every car we see.

Anonymous said...

Arbor Day is a Nebraska State Holiday

Anonymous said...

Interesting that you leave the door open by saying "if I'm not mistaken" right after mentioning that the U.S. gained independence after the civil war. I surely hope it's a joke, or I should really be worried about the ignorance of the average american being deeper than an abyss. Last time I checked the calendar of history, the civil war took place roughly 100 years after independence from England.

Davin said...

We'll obviously need some way to monitor the economy, especially so that we don't get into the mess that the U.S. is in right now.

If only there was a way...

http://pistadex.com/

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