Thursday, April 24, 2008

Pie In The Sky: A World Without Spoke Protectors

It is a beautiful Spring day here in New York. I’d like to say that it’s days like this that make New York a wonderful place in which to live, but that’s simply not true. It’s still the same hive of irritability–it just happens to be enjoying some nice weather. If anything, the sun and warmth just bring the abject nature of our existence here into sharper relief. Sure, some people become joyful and appreciative when Spring begins, but I’m not one of them. It happens every year, and it’s my right to simply expect it. It’s not like the Universe is doing me a favor or anything. Gushing about the Springtime is like paying for something that costs a buck with a hundred dollar bill and getting all excited when you get $99 back. Big deal. So as far as the nice weather goes, all I have to say is, “What took you so long?”

As a cyclist though, on a day such as this even a mind as blackened as mine is wont to wander. And once again, my mind turns to nation building. When the weather is nice I’d like nothing more than to forego my responsibilities and instead ride the length and breadth of our own land, perhaps stopping for some of our native cheese. But before this can happen there is much work to be done. As a people, there are certain evil weeds growing in our midst that must be extirpated. And like a stoner on a Wednesday afternoon, I’m ready to get my hands on some.

There is one weed that stands taller than all others. It’s more insidious than top tube pads. It’s more insidious than behind-the-saddle hydration and inflation systems. It’s more insidious even than TTMBLs. I’m talking of course about the pie plate.

Pie plates (also known as “dork discs,” “nerd coasters,” “Minneapolis frisbees,” “45rpm singles,” “idiot pucks,” and “moron shingles”) are like heavily intoxicated people and many triathletes in that they have no business being on a bicycle. Despite this, on my morning commute I see nothing but pie plates—it’s like sitting in some restaurant in hell where you’re constantly being passed by the dessert cart. And while each and every pie plate is offensive, some are more so than others. Here are just a few notable pie plate types in ascending order of egregiousness:

The Department Store Bike Pie Plate

I hate pie plates in any form, but expecting a department store bike not to have one is kind of like expecting a dog not to have bad breath. And while it’s offensive, when it comes to a department store bike the gestalt is offensive, so it’s pretty much pointless to single one thing out. A lot of these bikes also have huge cardboard labels displaying the wheel size still in the spokes as well as those plastic axle protectors that look like those little tables you sometimes get when you order a pizza. Frankly, in this case it’s the bike that’s the problem, not the pie plate.

The Hybrid Pie Plate

Generally speaking, the kinds of people who ride hybrids are not the kinds of people who fuss over things like pie plates or frame size sticker removal or tire label/valve stem alignment. In fact, they’re not even the sorts of people who align their helmets—they generally sport their foam hats way back on the head, like yarmulkes. So it’s somewhat unreasonable to expect them to remove their pie plates. Then again, I’m an unreasonable person. If you had the sense to buy your bike in an actual bike shop, you have the sense to remove (or ask the shop to remove) your pie plate.

The New Road Bike Pie Plate

Whether you know it or not, once you’ve bought an actual road bike you’ve subjected yourself to a certain level of scrutiny. It’s like running for office—everything you do is now a matter of public record and fair game for the press. If you don’t know the fundamental rules of cycling, that’s fine—as long as you learn them quickly. And Rule #1, before “Don’t sit on a stranger’s wheel” and “Don’t let a stranger ride your bike,” is “Get rid of the pie plate!”

The Old Road Bike Pie Plate

While I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to pie plates, I also understand that not everybody realizes they need to be removed. Sadly, too few bike shops take it upon themselves to do it or to educate their customers. Hopefully, one day that will change, and I for one am trying to do my part by raising public awareness. But in the meantime I think a grace period between new bike purchase and pie plate removal is warranted. Let’s call it six months. By that time you should have either figured out your pie plate needs to go, or you should have had to remove or change your cassette for some reason, in which case (hopefully) logic would dictate a pie platectomy.

After that, though, you are in clear violation. I regularly see road bikes that are five, ten, even twenty years old that still have pie plates on them. If your bike has both downtube shifters and a pie plate on it, you are exhibiting a disregard for propriety that is nearly inhuman. Only a sociopath could be capable of such a thing. In fact, while I believe we cyclists should regulate ourselves, in this case I think the perpetrator should be turned over to the police. According to the controversial “broken window” theory, chances are someone with a yellowed pie plate on a twenty year-old bicycle is also guilty of something else. He’s probably also using an Italian crank on a JIS spindle, planning a bank robbery, and keeping kidnapping victims duct-taped in his basement.

The Broken Pie Plate

In addition being yellowed and filthy with drivetrain grime, the aforementioned pie plates also usually have a big chip in them. They look like Pac Man if he were a coal miner. It’s pathetic already. Get it off.

The Fixed-Gear Pie Plate

This beast is apocryphal, but I maintain that it exists...somewhere. And as much as the idea of one horrifies and sickens me, I really want to see one, if only so that I can kill it. I thought I saw one once, but it was in fact the next-worst thing: a singlespeed pie plate. Even that was hard to stomach--it was a little like seeing your aunt naked or something. Frankly, I don’t know for sure how I’d react to an actual FGPP. But I’m willing to take the risk for our nation’s sake.

So please, check your bike for pie plates and remove them. If you have a friend with a pie plate problem, tell him or her as well. Perhaps one day they will be gone forever. Sure, there’s probably some pie plate factory in China and an entire village that depends on it, but we must think of ourselves first. And if you’re wondering what to do with all the pie plates, I say let’s build a henge. Stonehenge brings a millions of tourists to England, and Carhenge brings thousands to Alliance, Nebraska. People love henges. So let the world’s henge enthusiasts come and marvel at Pie Plate Henge on Long Island. We can put it in Commack.

133 comments:

Anonymous said...

Podium! Hahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

turd

Anonymous said...

podium?

no?

just chippy's sour, stained chamois?

Andrew said...

yeah!

Fipper said...

Woof

urchin said...

I just might have to go find a huge elaborate deep dish pie plate at the local used part shop (they have quite a collection) and slap it on my fixie, just for you, RBTSMNSYC.

Anonymous said...

In the right break for a change. Cool.

Olivier said...

The FGG #5877 has a pie plate, and its painted. Ok it's a welded freewheel does that count?

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/2007/sept/1/EvanPasquini.htm

Anonymous said...

"A Mind Wont to Wander." Sounds like the title of a recumbent-randonneur's blog. I mean livejournal page. I mean random musings.

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

First

Joshbar said...

I don't know, I giggle at the idea of a pie plate on a single speed or fixie.

Almost like prank calling a bike shop. Get the nervous 15 year old on the line and ask if they have any hyperglide track cogs.

Pappy said...

Why don't you just go out and ride 'Snob? It's an equally lovely day here in Toronto and that's how I started it + 2 hours.

And I'm in a much better mood than you, even if my blog gets .0001% the traffic your's does.

bs said...

I think old aluminum pie plates look kinda neat.

pinchfinger said...

So, Snob, are pie plates akin to an appendix? I mean, god put it there for some reason of his own, and bike makers put it there similarly.
Could pie plates have a purpose we have yet to discern? And should they be removed so hastily?

Anonymous said...

why so bitter pappy? did you eat a bitter bar this morning before your ride?

Anonymous said...

olivier -

The (s)crappy conversion pie plate deserves an honorable mention, but I don't think it's the great white whale that the snob seeks.

btw, either that's your bike, or you are the Rain Man of online bike galleries.

homer said...

mmmmmmmm Pie

Olivier said...

Haha thanks for the compliment anon 1:38 :)

Anonymous said...

Spring in the City was so much better when the West Side Highway still stood (barely) and was closed to motor traffic. One beautiful, elevated ride from the Battery tunnel to the 70s. In the winter after a good snow, like '77-'78, good x-country skiing too.

Back to Bed

Anonymous said...

I don't know snob, as a mechanic I like the pp. the plate is an excellent identifier of the true cyclist and the whatever else. besides most riders can not adj. a deraileur with under a year of cycling experience. so letts. change the grace period to a year. all others should be steamrollered.

JackH said...

What's a pie plate?

jimmythefly said...

How do you feel about the chainwheel pie plate, otherwise known as the pantsguard? There are tons of original chromed steel ones out there (see oldtenspeedgallery), and even some new bikes come with a cheap plastic one. Are these as reprehensible as the classic pie plate? And, if you've removed your chaniwheelpieplate, but then tuck your pants into your sock for protection, have you advanced or retarded?

AnnaZed said...

Ok Snob, I am with you on this though these guys (scroll to bottom):

http://www.rideyourbike.com/qanda.html

are not.

In the curious synchronicity of the world two days ago I was discussing the pie plate with my sweet rather baffled 60something neighbor who had just had his ancient (and rather cool) road bike tuned up for use and was bothered that there was no spoke protector. After a longish discourse about how he didn't need one I gave in and told him that I would get him one and now have no idea where to get it. At any of the shops I have worked in I would be stoned on sight if I even asked for one for him!

erik k said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
erik k said...

a sign of the apocalypse?

Anonymous said...

On this lovely spring day, I am just happy that BS hasn't followed Frankie Andreu's pet obsession and taken it upon himself to make sure that riders aren't wearing any underwear.

Some neurotic obsessions are more acceptable than others. Happily, BS's irritability about people who have pie plates on their bikes (tortadiscafiliaphobia) is a relatively benign form of the disease.

Anonymous said...

wi five.

sicc blog.

akatsuki said...

I kinda want a pizza after that.

Prolly said...

LOL at Gestalt

Commiecanuk said...

I hear some German company is making pro peloton pie plates out of high modulus carbon fiber in limited numbers, tinted red, "Der Pieplaten rot".

They cost $3200 and have all the wind tunnel data associated, in full color 3D bar graphs, with SRM data.
I inquired about them, but was told, "phuken zie off". Now I REALLY want one.

Way to go on the political correctness BSNYC, but everyone up here still calls these Polish teacup saucers or pony-tail yarmulkes.

OpenYourEyes said...

Now we will begin to see a plethora of plastic pie plates permeating previously pleasant places precisely post posting probably partially due to prior propensities for pounding pie plates passionately by page perusing 'ployees of pie plate peddling profit producing pirates parading proud penchants for propagating pie plate peace. Phooey!

embarrased smartypants said...

annazed 1:58:

This post was indeed timely! I had a similar pieplate discussion with someone new to cycling recently. It was a friend whom I helped get in to the sport about 3 months ago. She'd called me to tell me the horrible tale about how "that plastic disk thing" on the rear wheel had cracked in half on her last week, and she'd immediately rushed her bike to the nearest shop to get it replaced. Of course, she had no idea what it was for, or the stigma surrounding it.

I don't know if I should be embarrassed for her, tromping into a shop and asking seriously about getting a replacement, or embarrassed for myself that I set her up on a bike and never took the thing off in the first place!

(Don't roast me just yet. I did take the junky reflectors off the wheels, and made sure the tire labels were correctly aligned!)

p smartypants said...

openyoureyes 2:29:

Preposterous!

Commiecanuk said...

Oh, not cool man...I had an uncle die of tortadiscafiliaphobia, in the end, he was terrified of anything round, transparent and pointless.
Seeing a picture of Victoria Beckham's new breast implants finally did it in for him.

End TDFP in out lifetime. Please give generously.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

''...are like heavily intoxicated people and many triathletes in that they have no business being on a bicycle.''

Sweet!

Martin Van Nostrand said...

OpenYourEyes said...

Now we will begin to see a plethora of plastic pie plates permeating previously pleasant places precisely post posting probably partially due to prior propensities for pounding pie plates passionately by page perusing 'ployees of pie plate peddling profit producing pirates parading proud penchants for propagating pie plate peace. Phooey!


Phuck.

Strayhorn said...

Commiecanuk sez:

I hear some German company is making pro peloton pie plates out of high modulus carbon fiber in limited numbers, tinted red, "Der Pieplaten rot".

Jeesus, what an idea. I'll bet you couldn't make them fast enough to keep up with the demand.

(sneaks off to patent office)

Anonymous said...

the behind-the-saddle hydration and inflation system is truly horrific. can someone explain to me why people who do triathlons are such dorks?

Anonymous said...

I am not concerned with tire label/valve stem alignment. Middle age has taken away my near vision, so I put the recommended tire pressure right near the valve stem. I also have hairy legs, use mountain bike shoes on a road bike and wear the the wrong socks. My wife wears a helmet that looks like a bowling ball, refuses to wear bike shorts, and doesn't use any foot restraint on her vintage Italian single speed conversion. There are, however, no pie plates (or derailers for that matter) on any of our 10 or so bicycles.

How can a BSNYC reader live with himself after learning that he is a rolling affront to the cycling community? Luckily, Bikesnob himself have provided the loophole. I'm not a cyclist; I'm a "guy on a bike."

Not rainman said...

I also want to know, how on earth did you find that in less then 15 minutes since posting? Your secret is out.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

I was shocked to see that the triathlete bottle holder retails for 217.95$!

But that just ups the ante, doesn't it? Soon hearing about 550$ super-light gloves with shorter finger cut-offs won't even phase me.

Cameron said...

I have a Columbia 10-speed with an integrated pie plate(the pie plate is literally part of the freewheel assembly). May I have an exemption certificate written?

Also, I think old 10-speeds don't look right without a giant chrome disc, so I think there should be a ascetic exemption for chrome plates on old bikes.

I'm, however, all for the limitation of clear plastic pie plates.

All this, and I wear sleeveless jerseys too!

OpenYourEyes said...

For only the very brave (or the very bored): tall bike rider's one second of fame in NYC at :26.

Commiecanuk said...

sleeveless? Cameron, is this you?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I have a question about the triathelete carbon-fiber hemroid-thingy. A hundred years ago, when I was in middle school, those little metal canisters were known as "whippets," and were used for a quick huffing high. Since no triathlete knows how to change a tire, May I assume that there is some performance-enhancing effect from inhaling them in the middle of the bike leg of the triathalon?

douglas said...

my pie plate says "poseur"

Anonymous said...

My '77 Schwinn Volare had a chainwheel pie plate on a Dura-Ace crankset. 531 tubing and all.

Joey Infortuno said...

pie plate pics?

Commiecanuk said...

It's just SICK how these pervs infiltrate innocent blog comments to spread their pie plate porn links.

Check this one out...ooooer.

Anonymous said...

I heard Zipp just created a pie plate called the Zub-9 that, at 15 degrees yaw, actually produces NEGATIVE DRAG… The wind tunnel numbers are also exceptional at 5- 10 and 20, but the tunnel data at 15 degrees is way cool... Minus 80 grams drag, so roughly 11 watts forward power!

And.... scene.

Anonymous said...

OOOOooo! is it dimpled??

can't we all just be friends smartypants said...

anon 2:35:

As much as I enjoy poking fun at the tridork community, I am also a steadfast member of it - so I can appreciate the sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious differences between it and the rest of the biking world.

Yes, triathletes appear as dorks to most other cyclists. Many of their conventions are unexplainable and obviously "incorrect" from, say, a road biking perspective.

However, it should not require mention that this is essentially true of EVERY segment of the biking world. We all have our differences. It's great to jibe eachother in good fun. But personally, I draw the line at being downright insulting. . .

In other words, if you are charging us with explaining why tridorks are tridorks, then where does it end? Must we also explain why roadies spend $98 on campy record water bottle holders - which, functionally, aren't any better than $2 alloy cages - just so they'll match the rest of the bike's kit?

Cameron said...

Commiecanuk,

No, no, no this is me
and this is my wife

Anonymous said...

I've seen a fair share of rear wheels with chewed up drive side spokes that could've been saved by a "pie plate." I agree that they're ugly, but unfortunately I also know that the majority of cyclists can't correctly adust their rear derailleurs, even though many of them probably believe otherwise.

Marrock said...

I have an old Ross in storage with the Shimano Front Freewheel system on it and no less than three pieplates.

Two in the front and one in the rear, but they're all metal, not the crappy yellowed crumbling plastic.

bikesgonewild said...

...this situation runs deeper than might at first seem obvious...

...it begins w/ a 'left-on' pie plate when yer a kid or a newbie but the obsession has unknowingly taken a foot hold...the need to fill in all that beautiful empty space between the the hub & the tire has begun...

...witness all the unnecessary full disc rear wheels on tri-geek bikes...observe (from a distance for the sake of yer wallet) the latest offerings of extremely deep carbon rim shapes from hed, zipp, lightweight & others, ever inching where ???...that's right, BACK to where those unsightly pie plates used to reside...
...read the self-serving published scientific data /// justifications if you will, but don't loose sight of where it all began or where it could all end up...

...i think paris-roubaix was a timely example of where not to tread/pedal...a vengeful god swept through the peleton & smote the very wheels out from any rider over 125lbs who deigned not to ride 'old school' low profile aluminium rims...

..ask george, ask magnus, better yet, ask yourself "do i want my children to grow up in a world full of aerospoke front, full disc rear hipster bikes ???"...cuz that's where it's headed...so i say, not on my block !!!...not in my town !!!...

...rtms/bsnyc may have sparked a thought...i say create a roaring fire...well, i gotta go...my tinfoil hat is feeling a teensy bit tight...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:53pm,

You have a point of course, but I maintain we must draw the line. I've seen plenty of chewed-up knees on cyclists too, but I'm not going to start wearing knee pads! (Freeriders are already starting to look like the hockey-playing mental patients from “Strange Brew”.)

--BSNYC

Cameron said...

Gawd I love Strange Brew! I used to watch that--and all the Police Academies, Fletch and Fletch Lives, Stripes and Spies Like Us--every friggin weekend as a kid.

Commiecanuk said...

Few people realize Strange Brew was a documentary.

Commiecanuk said...

so Cameron, you've obviously been to Buffalo.

Cameron said...

Jenson USA has replacement pie plates for $4.80 each.

Lowballers Bikeman.com has the very same pie plates for just $2.95

Anonymous said...

annazed at 1:56,
Aaron at Aaron's bike repair is truly Bikier than Thou, but he really knows his stuff. The shop has a vending machine outsed the front door selling inner tubes and patch kits for after hours emergencies.

I recently got a new bike; it came with a plastic pie-plate and I was able to remove it without taking the cassette off first. It didn't seem like it offered much protection against a spoke shreading chain...

JAT in Seattle

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk is right about 'strange brew'...& if you make fun of bob & doug mckenzie, you insult all canadians...

...cameron, dude, she is smokin'...

Commiecanuk said...

bikesgonewild said...

...cameron, dude, she is smokin'...


Of course she is, she's pregnant.

Liquor+smoke in utero = sleeveless stylista in 16 years.

Floyd landis said...

There's such an etherial nature to spoke protectors, I mean, they are there, but clear, so not really there. Kinda like the covers on my grandma's couch.

It really says: a lawyer worked hard for your sins, and lawyers will protect you, even if you can't see how they protect you. It's like we are being guarded by the ghost associates of Weed, Cheetem, and Howe.

Silicon boobs are clear. Coincidence? I think not.

Man, this is great weed.

Anonymous said...

I do agree that "pie plates" are ugly. I would like to complain however, because I was completely unaware of what that term meant until the seventh paragraph, in future please give a definition of any complicated terms that you use, don't assume that everyone knows what you're talking about.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:50pm,

My apologies. I usually do try to do that, though I figured between using "spoke protector" in the post title and the convenience of internet search engines that anyone who didn't know would be able to figure it out.

--RTMS

AnnaZed said...

Cameron, I know that I can BUY them because I have ... you know ... access to the internet.

I failed to mention to you that any conversation that I have with anyone concerning bikes and bike parts comes freighted with the following assumptions: (1) Anna has or can locate such bike part, (2) Anna will give it to me for free and (3) Anna will install it for free - because I am nice.

This is true even of (maybe not so baffled) 60something neighbor who has a huge house and seems not to have to work for a living.

Hence, my pickle.

Wutz said...

Fuckin' kill me.

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/2008/apr/3/TylerConway.htm

Cameron said...

Commiecanuk and Strayhorn,
I got on the horn with my fabricators in Deutchland and they quickly came up with a prototype for me. A standard pie plate weighs in at 42.999278474g and we've managed to get this one down to 25.356453452g let me know what you think of Der Pieplaten Rot.

AnnaZed said...

Wutz, omg - what is that THING in the rear wheel there and did he have to turn to bike upsidedown to photograph it? Porn indeed.

Yes, kill us now.

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk (& cameron)...

...ya, hey whoa now...when i said "dude, she is smokin'" i didn't mean to imply like "hot", eh, but more like any chick who felt the need to tattoo a giant big daddy ed roth 'rat fink' (not that there is anything wrong w/ ed or r.f.) on her belly is probably smokin' somethin' stronger than what the local high schoolers are sellin'...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Cameron, if you will post some account info, I and others will send you a small donation so that you can take all of your cycling jerseys to the tailor to get sleeves sewn on.

Cameron said...

wishiwasmerckx,

I've added advertising and a Paypal Donate link to the OSTG to help fund a rebuild of my cycling wardrobe. Go click on my adwords so I can afford to buy some sleeved jerseys!

Scott said...

Don't forget Fridgehenge in Santa Fe.

mr.complaint said...

Snobbo, You poor man. Not having a pie-plate does not make one geekfree, dorkless, or not living in Minneapolis.

Just this morning a pieplateless gearmashing hammer dork passed me on the greenway. And as usual the hammer dork got tired shortly after passing me. So I slowed and let him keep grinding away, torso bobbing, hips shifting. I was going to let him pull me all the way downtown so I could arrive at work without breaking a sweat. Suddenly, out the corner of my left eye, comes some little girl (well maybe she was a young woman) riding a silver huffy thingy with double pieplates, and pink plastic handlebar tape. She had on black tights and her best powerpuff eyewear. She also had a good spin going. She went straight to the front and pulled us two loafers for twenty blocks.

Made my day.

Anonymous said...

Fu@$in' funny stuff I remember desperately removing my "pie plate" off my 1988 Mongoose Hilltopper (bought new) when I was a mere 13 yrs. old, believe I bent a spoke doing it too!

Anonymous said...

"Say, that's a mighty fine pie plate you've got there. I always wanted one like it but could never figure out where to get one. You don't mind if I try it on my bike, do you? Here. Take these keys to my Escalade. I'll be right back, I promise."

leroy said...

Before I started reading BSNYC I was nowhere and nobody.

But then I started reading BSNYC and saw the light.

Goodbye pie plate! Hallelujah!

Farewell helmet visor while riding road bike! Praise the Snob!

No more baggy jersey -- well, actually it's the same jersey, but somehow after the winter slow down, it seems to have shrunk.

And now I can proudly say I'm still nowhere and nobody.

But at least I'm not wearing one of those really garish Primal jerseys.

I may be DFL, but I've got my dignity.

dopepedaler said...

How do feel about these stupid fucking pie plates?

Can your next blog be on absurdly obnoxious stem rises.

Anonymous said...

I loved the opening paragraph: "A hive of irritability"! HA! New York sucks!

Philip Williamson said...

Many people don't realize that Strange Brew is 'Hamlet,' and Bob and Doug McKenzie are Rosenkranz and Guildenstern.

On the other hand, most people DO realize that John Tomac doesn't have to be justified. Full-wheel pie plate or no.

Axle Creep said...

I'm kind of partial towards the FSA RD-800: the boutique wheel with an integrated pie plate.

bikesgonewild said...

...well now mister williamson, tonight i agree w/ you 100 percent on both statements...

...i don't know that johnnie t gets the real credit he deserves for his awesome & long career...cross country, downhill, euro-pro peleton...amazing rider...

Alex said...

My mountain bike came with a pie plate and I'm leaving it on; I don't care what you say.

I know in the past I have ridden my old mountian bike WITH A CORRECTLY ADJUSTED DERRAILIER in 1st gear over rough terrain and had the chain go into the spokes after the mech being knocked by undergrowth or whatever. This has happened a couple of times.

They ARE useful on mountain bikes.

Anonymous said...

I work at a shop as a mechanic, and the pie plate problem persists perniciuosly! We remove them, asked or not! No one ever complains. They are like genital warts. No one complains about them in public, but they are glad to see them gone!

Alex said...

I don't care - it's staying on.

MUSCLE ESCORT said...

http://paydaybitches.blogspot.com

go there MUTHA FUKKAZ

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, except you need to make 1 adjustment to your rule. If you are a true Flahute and ride the cobbles all the time (with the battle scars to prove it), you are entitled to one of the tiny clear plastic pie plates like the pros periodically use in Paris - Roubaix & the Ronde; just don't be seen with it on a paved road.

Anonymous said...

you know you are in the company of trouble when you have the pie plate and visor combo...

Anonymous said...

problem with triathletes is there are too many "low end" triathletes...the tri dudes who can really cook on a bike, a small percent, are as skilled and savy as any cat 2 racer...and they are smart enough to swap out the tri bike for a road bike when they know they will be in a group ride...your standard bumbly tri dude (the majority) still thinks he looks cool in his DeSoto shortie shorts and man-kini astride some beater tribike.

Your School Nurse said...

I just can't believe you fashion slaves don't use protection, especially in this day and age. What is the world coming to?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, BSNYC.

You've become Bicycling Magazine's Style Man.

GrandMasterB said...

I didn't see MTBs mentioned... does that mean it's ok for me to keep running one of those mini-pieplates, the ones that are barely bigger than the largest cog? They sure can save a wheel if the deraileur gets bent slightly inward... which isn't that uncommon off road...

Commiecanuk said...

Cool Cameron, das ist der shizzat, but you'll need dimples and wind tunnel data, or just pictures of a wind tunnel and make shit up, like Zipp does.

Of course, to really prove the worth of Der Pieplaten Rot, you'll have to put it on a Paris Roubaix bike in 09, I'll get George Hincapie's phone number...

smartypants said...

anon 9:45:

Cummon - like no other segment of the cycling world has it's share of bumbling dorky newbies?

Besides, again, you're evaluating tri folks with roadie standards. It's not the same culture. Sure, maybe those dorky folks you're singling out would get made fun of within the tri culture, but at least then there would be a sense of relevance.

Martin Van Nostrand said...

Without triathlons, the suicide rate for dentists would be even higher.
I'm jealous, I can't run, kinda like Lance Armstrong on SNL.

Anonymous said...

The pie plate on my old 70's 10 speed was a thing of beauty. I swear it weighed 5lbs and would whistle when you'd get moving. Alas, I had to kill it.

Anonymous said...

Pie plates aren't cool, but I was wishing I'd left mine on, last year, when my derailleur came loose and killed a couple of spokes.

david said...

I never even noticed that thing back there, but i did notice the shitty rattley plastic-y noise it always made. Removed. THANKS BIKE SNOB

agentdetroit said...

http://flickr.com/photos/agentdetroit/2408750387/

SiouxGeonz said...

SNobbery is so much fun! If only there weren't people honestly insecure enough to be hurt by it and worry about whether they will be made fun of with their pie plates. Ah, well, most of 'em will get through it and then become snobs to compensate for their insecurities.

My lil' hybrid's pie plate got brittle and flaked off after about 10,000 miles. we'll see how long the one on the folder lasts... but it's stayin' there. I have enough trouble with my shoes getting wrapped up in my spokes already.

Anonymous said...

here's the elusive beast:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2084/2465807609_62e0e9a7c2_o.jpg

as seen here:

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/bik/667893121.html

Anonymous said...

I have just encountered this blog.

I have never given pie plates any thought, but when Bike Snob raised my awareness, I checked. Sure enough, my 20 yr. old touring bike, which has covered tens of thousands of miles, has a pie plate. It must be one of the last bits of original gear left on it.

My first impulse was to remove it. But then I thought, nah, if it pisses off a self-styled Bike Snob, then it's got to be good. May it last another 20 years.

Anonymous said...

I was riding my road bike in a group ride and two assholes in front of me crashed into each other and into me, my chain slipped during the crash and tore the shit out of my spokes and ruined the wheel.

a $1 pie plate would have saved it

fuck u bsynob

Adam said...

http://www.cpsc.gov/CPSCPUB/PREREL/prhtml09/09155.html

Anonymous said...

Seriously, if you remove your pie plate simply so you don't look like a dork, doesn't that make you a dork? It's not bothering anyone, just leave it alone, let the pie plate live!

Anonymous said...

Where's the fucking pictures Knob Blog!?

oh yeah... get out n' RIDE!!!

Ben. said...

Maybe you shaven-legged roadies you have the time to worry about removing such efficacious additions to your bikes but when I'm spinning my way up and down the mountains of this fine world then I've had more than a few spokes and hence wheels aved by the humble pie-plate. If you can guarantee that everythign will always stay perfectly indexed then maybe you can allow your fashion to supercede the function of the pie plate but many real world bikes don't have that guarantee.

Dana Albert said...

For more spoke protector lore, check out my blog post at http://www.albertnet.us/2009/04/corn-cob.html.

payallin said...

This article is so wrong. Pie plates rock. I have a great love for bikes from the 70s and 80s. These beauties would not be complete without their pie plates. Cycling is supposed to be about enjoyment. It's pretty sad that anyone could be so anal retentive that pie plates would bother them. Kinda makes me want to put one on my front wheel now.

web design India said...

nice post

Stevo said...

i am bummed since nobody seems to make a pie plate for my 40 spoke wheel!

Also, a shop in corvallis gouged me $6 for a pie plate.

Anonymous said...

I have successfully performed my first piectomy.

Anonymous said...

Such a cock! Clearly you have never had the expense of rebuilding a wheel because you removed the pie plate!! Damn man that shits expensive!!

Anonymous said...

коттедж
восстановление зрения
зеленый лазер
электрошокер

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

5318008 said...

Jesus, who cares, what the hell is a pie plate anyways? More bike snobbery, just ride your damned bike and let people ride theirs, fuck sake.

embyr333 said...

Excellent! Hadn't taken mine off my year-old road bike yet and had no idea how offensive it was. I will leave it to fester with pride.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but there are exceptions...
A Campagnolo Cambio Corsa requires a spoke protector.

http://www.campyonly.com/images/history/cambio_corsa/wpe5.jpg

Ditto any early Cyclo Benelux or Simplex derailleur, although when they blow into wheel, even a pie plate may not suffice.

Anonymous said...

After reading that whole article, I still have no idea why you hate the pie plate. All I know is that you hate it, but you never explain why it's a bad thing to have one. Does it cause mechanical problems or something?

Steve said...

Where are the photos? Eh? EH????

Anonymous said...

It's all about the f***king PIE!

Anonymous said...

A life without pie is pant-amount to heresy. Rejoice in your pie. Love your pie, & most of all stuff your pie hole with pie! Eat pie on your bike at all opportunities. Smearing a steaming hot pie over your face is one of the joys of cycling. Fish pie, apple pie, or steak pie. The CHOICE is yours.

Anonymous said...

My bike is a hybrid nearing it's 20th birthday and only had it's pie plate off last year. You're correct in assuming that I really don't care about such things. That said, I can usually smoke anyone I see on a fixie or cruiser, and especially if they have a yoga mat strapped across their back. My Criss-Cross is like the Millennium Falcon, doesn't look like much, but she's got it where it counts.

Anonymous said...

Great website, looks very clean and organized. Keep up the good work! antibacterial Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Anonymous said...

Interesting article. Sale of medicines online

Anonymous said...

Spent today trying to fix the broken pie plate on my 20 year old road bike. The broken tabs made it interfere with the chain, preventing it from transitioning to the largest freewheel gear. Purchased a chain whip, freewheel removal tool and a new pie plate, which is the size of a pizza pie plate. Really, I was concened that that this thing would catch enough wind to blow me off the road! If you saw me riding with this thing on my rear wheel you would not be able to stop yourself from shooting me......

Thanks, because of your insights I am going pie plateless (pie commando?) before my next ride.

Anonymous said...

I've rebuilt two wheels because of chains going into spokes. The circumstances don't matter.

Anonymous said...

American cycle culture. Totally pretentious.