It's All in the Details: Greetings and Salutations

Cycling is a community in the sense that a big city like New York is a community. It’s a patchwork of very different groups of people who share only one thing in common, whose regard for each-other lies somewhere between indifference and disdain, and who acknowledge or help each-other only in times of emergency. Nonetheless, like any community, cycling has its own modes of social discourse. As such, it’s important to understand the niceties and not-so-niceties that cyclists engage in on a daily basis. The slightest gesture--and even the complete absense of a gesture--can speak volumes. And nowhere is this more apparent than in the way cyclists greet each-other.

Waving

Generally speaking, waving at other cyclists is optional. However, if you’re going to wave, there are certain times when it is appropriate, and other times when it is inappropriate. This also varies from discipline to discipline, and from circumstance to circumstance.

On the Road

If you’re going to wave on a road ride, remember that like waves at like. While it’s perfectly fine to wave at every bicycle you see, frankly, it’s a little strange—it’s like a puppy who joyously greets and slobbers on every person it meets, even the guy robbing its house. Instead, try waving at people who are riding in a manner similar to your own. If you’re out on your touring bike with a couple panniers full of granola and dry underwear, wave at other touring bikes. If you’re out on your road bike doing your best impression of a Euro pro, wave at other Euro faux-pros. And so forth. Remember—waving is like doing intervals. You can only do so many on a ride before you get depleted.

How To Wave On The Road

You’re on a bike, not a boat. So don’t go raising your hands above your head like you’re back from a week at sea and your family’s greeting you at the dock. Here are the three types of acceptable waves, in descending order of friendliness:

1) Hand removed from the bar, fingers extended;
2) Hand still holding the bar, fingers lifted briefly off the bar or brake hood.
3) The barely perceptible nod.

When Waving is Gratuitous or Inappropriate (for road riding and touring)

1) In the City

The onus to wave increases proportionately with your distance from an urban center. The further afield you are, the more warranted a wave is.

2) On a Climb

If you’re passing someone on a climb, refrain from waving, or at most just do a finger-lift. Giving a hearty wave—or, worse yet, engaging someone in conversation—on a climb can be insulting if the person is suffering much worse than you are. It’s like fanning yourself with hundred-dollar bills in front of a soup kitchen.

3) If You or Someone Else is Doing Something Stupid*

Recently I was riding in a bike lane and I encountered a cyclist coming at me head-on in the wrong direction. As we approached, he had the nerve to give a friendly nod. I do not encourage this kind of riding, but if you absolutely must do something like that due to extenuating circumstances, do not have the audacity to wave or nod to someone riding properly. Instead, hang your head in shame or make some vague gesture in an attempt to indicate you couldn’t help yourself. And if you’re the one in the right, do not greet or return a greeting from one of these riders. They are, for that moment, cycling pariahs.

*(You may also choose to show disapproval for someone’s appearance or equipment choice by withholding a greeting you might otherwise have proffered, or by failing to return one. This is known as the "passive insult." While petty and immature, it is nonetheless acceptable as your intent cannot be proven.)

Off-Road Greetings

Greeting fellow cyclists off-road is different than greeting them on pavement. Firstly, you’re not seeing them coming from miles away—you’re encountering them in close quarters and on terrain that may make it difficult or impractical for you to remove your hands from the bars. Secondly, the fact that you're not on the road and are instead in the wild means that you must be more forthcoming. It's a man-versus-nature scenario, so like a platoon in the jungle, you never know when you may need to band together in order to survive. You can't afford to go snubbing people.

The common mode of greeting off-road is to offer a verbal salutation, followed by information about how many riders are behind you. Even if the rider's appearance, bicycle, or lack of technical skill offends you, greet him or her anyway. As above, you may need him later if, say, you're attacked by a leopard or cheetah, or if you need to fashion some kind of crude booby-trap from his rear suspension in order to stall an attacking army.

In addition to this, it should be obvious that on a narrow trail you should yield the right-of-way to riders who are climbing. They need to keep momentum in order to continue, and if you force them to stop they may need to push their bikes to the top of the climb. And being forced to push your bike up a climb you otherwise would have cleared is like a combination of coitus interruptus and having to ride your beater bike because your friend borrowed your good bike and crashed it.

And while you generally shouldn't snub in the woods, you should still withhold a greeting if someone is doing something stupid, like riding the wrong way on a uni-directional trail. Additionally, you should let them know their mistake, or at least play chicken with them and force them off of it.

Commuting Greeting and Interaction

Unlike road riding, where urban greetings are unnecessary and where snubbing those unlike you is allowed, you should be more omnivorous in your greetings when you’re commuting. Yet it’s slightly strange to wave at other commuters while you’re actually riding. You're all just going to work. Do you wave at people when you're on the subway, or on the bus? As such, a good rule of thumb is to greet other commuters only when you’re stopped together at a light. A nod or a simple verbal greeting is appropriate here. However, there are certain things you should never, ever do when greeting another cyclist in traffic:

1) Ask How Much His or Her Bike Weighs

This is the most annoying question you can ask a cyclist. It’s the “Do you come here often?” of bike questions. No matter how pretty and shiny the bike is, don’t ask it.

2) Ask How Much His or Her Bike Costs

It’s mostly non-cyclists who ask this question, but it’s still worth mentioning. This is not the kind of thing you ask a stranger. Firstly, it’s personal—kind of like asking a strange woman her bra size. Secondly, cyclists only like to talk about how much their bikes or components cost in certain circumstances and with certain people. (This usually involves things like rationalizing how their incredibly expensive headset was actually a bargain since it will outlast a cheaper headset by a factor of five.) Otherwise, asking cyclists how much their bikes cost is like asking alcoholics how many drinks they've had. It only makes them angry and defensive.

3) Do Not Touch Someone’s Bike

Again, this is mostly something non-cyclists do, but just in case you’re tempted—do not touch.

4) Do Not Comment On Someone's Lack of a Helmet

Yes, it's better to wear a helmet than to not wear a helmet. But the fact that you know this and are wearing one does not entitle you to point it out to others. If you find yourself compelled to make comments like this to people, do your best to suppress the urge and instead simply go home and resume work on the life-sized marble statue you're carving of yourself to celebrate your own brilliance.

The Golden Rule of Cycling

Of course, the Golden Rule of Cycling that transcends any circumstance or discipline is that if you pass a cyclist who is having mechanical trouble, you must always ask if he or she needs help. However, there's also a loophole to this rule. If you don't want to actually stop, simply ride too fast to hear the reply. Acceptable reasons to do this include:

--You need to be somewhere and don't have time, but you don't want to look bad;

--You're on your way back from a long ride and you're really hungry;

--They've got the bike flipped upside-down to work on it and that irritates you;

--They're riding a road bike but are wearing a Camelbak;

--They've got the audacity to be riding a $6,000 road bike without a toolkit.

--So there you have it. It's not pretty, but neither is cycling.--