Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Attack of the Beautiful Godzillas

Just wanted to share this entertaining and informative article from today's New York Observer about another cycling trend sweeping the city. They were also kind enough to interview me for the article, giving me the opportunity to dampen the parade of a whole new group of cyclists. Enjoy.


Todd Colby said...

Holy cow.

GhostRider said...

Bravo for your quote in the Observer...beautiful Godzillas indeed! My goodness, you have become QUITE the blogospheric sensation, haven't you?

Still, it's nice to see that someone other than half-drunk day laborer on a Kmart special is riding the wrong way on streets, blissfully unaware that there are other people out there.

Anonymous said...

ah snob ...

we love you!!!!

mhandsco said...

Dude! Nice one.

Mischa said...

Haha, most excellent.

When all the beautiful people ride bikes we'll be able to enter into a whole new world of snobbery!

dan said...

So when are you going to write a book?

quaffimodo said...

I'm wondering where Beautiful Godzillas vs. BitterBlogger would sit in the Pantheon of cheesy SciFi flicks.

db said...

Wow, a few critical comments that inject some reality into a piece of writing garbage, and you're labelled as a bitter blogger. Sweet!

Anonymous said...

At least they're not in Hummers anymore... (I guess I mean that?)

and maybe New York will be more like New Amsterdam if this "trend" lasts more than 2 months. Barely matters, though, since I don't live there.

Anonymous said...

BikeSnob's plan for world media domeination is now in motion.

JackH said...

That's not journalism, it's swooning in print.

Jenny said...

Yes, that's right, it's definitely NOT journalism. It's biased. It's fluff. It's worse than useless - it's harmful as I'm sure it'll inspire more airheads to ride without a care in the world. They're completely selfish, expecting US to watch out for THEM. Grrrrr.

Anonymous said...

I thought the whole entire article was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. Wasn't it? I mean, even the Penguin publisher says she's ashamed of being so self-satisfied.

Good quotes, BSNYC.

Scott said...

Oh good lord, that's 80% of the people in Los Angeles on bikes: out on their retarded cruisers, blissfully weaving (yes, weaving because they can't ride in a straight line) along at speeds equal to or less than that of focused pedestrians. Seriously, out here, they get passed by the skateboarders. If you're on a bike and getting passed by someone on a skateboard, you are doing something seriously wrong.

I love that first model mentioned requires hooker boots to protect her legs from the bruises one acquires while riding a bike at walking speed. Anorexia-induced hemophilia, anyone?

Also, the people who put dogs in things such as baskets and purses, you need to stop. Please, stop subjecting your dog to the horror of being a small parcel. Also, stop perpetuating the atrocity that is rat-sized yappy dogs on the world. Dogs are meant to run free and hunt. Your chihuahua is incapable of hunting the average mouse.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Thanks everybody!

But wait...isn't it a good thing more people are riding?!?

Or do the three-speed terrors test riders' patience even more than the fixed-gear trend-mongers?


Anonymous said...

Why all the hate? These poor, confused, lithe creatures need our love and support. Send them my way, I'll tach them how to ride.....

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Bliss, who is revered in the cycling community, darted around his warehouse-style shop in shorts and Croc sandals"

revered for being a cock in awful shoes, i presume.

Jim said...

That story scanned like a Penthouse Letters section. I was waiting to read about how local wrench, Tom Striptscrew, spurted a load of hot Phil's Tenacious Oil into his bearing cups when [name of supermodel here] grooved into his shop on a vintage Schwinn[g] cruiser, looking to get her bottom bracket faced and then tightened.

gewilli said...

well looks like we have a winner!

that might be like so 5 years ago but at times like these...

when you need a clear cut no holes barred deciding factor google fight delivers!

But hey, at least they are riding bikes... at least they are riding bikes...

quaffimodo said...

a winner!

Does that make bsnyc the new Mothra?

AdamB said...

"Maybe you’re right, but would a bunch of pretty ladies riding around on bicycles be so terrible?”

ya know, she's got a point...

bikesgonewild said...

...bitter blogger,'bikesnob' bellicosely berates bicycling's beautiful but belligerent bitches...

Jamesy-Cakes said...

If only LA would take the hint. I'd much rather those ho bags ride around drunk on their pretty bikes than doing the norm. hit and runs in grocery parking lots, dui's, leaving babies in hot parked cars, running down boyfriends....dang.

Anonymous said...

While Joseph Campbell was travelling in Japan he ran into a female friend who shared with him her belief that the two most spoiled groups of people on the face of the earth are Japanese men and American women.

I think that woman was dead on about the American women.

At least over here I don't have to deal with those 'beautiful' godzillas since they ride on the sidewalk while I ride on the street.

Anonymous said...

I think this is great. I would rather see a beautiful godzilla than some chick with on a fixie, wearing vans and 70's punk jeans (complete with the exposed butt-floss of her thong).


"I love that first model mentioned requires hooker boots to protect her legs from the bruises one acquires while riding a bike at walking speed."

I am not sure whether you are from someplace with no hookers and no cole-haan shoe dealers, or someplace where the hookers are well dressed (and well paid)...

Oh, sorry, a more closer read:

"Oh good lord, that's 80% of the people in Los Angeles on bikes"

That's funny, it seems most of the people on bikes in my region of LA are latinos heading to their underpaid job as kitchen help or a leaf-blower... Maybe I am in a different part of LA altogether...

Anonymous said...

I loved that episode of Seinfeld. On the upside this might, just might be the beginning of getting bicycling recongnized as a legitamate form of transportation. Yes it's going to suck having to share our lovely little sport with the uninitiated, but just like any other form of bicycling we'll teach them the way through gentle and constant mocking.

mander said...

I noticed this phenomenon for the first time just last month in Vancouver's Yaletown. These pretty yuppie girls on cruisers seem to have male counterparts too, also with no helmets, conspicuously expensive haircuts, jeans even more expensive than those worn by fixie riders, on cruisers, and possibly wearing flip flops. Personally I don't mind these people at all. They seem to be enjoying themselves, they dutifully stop for red lights and they ride too slow to hurt anyone, so where's the harm?

bikesgonewild said...

...just being on the bike is a start...bad habits & all...drinking the kool-aid comes later for all but the most hardcore...

Uncle Owen said...

First, you should have told us your quote was at the end of the article. I can't believe you made us suffer through that drivel. As far as beautiful Godzillas go, I love the idea of hot girls on bikes. Wish we had them.

John said...

Upright cruisers and townies with flat pedals can be fun. I don't have any problems with pretty people riding them, though I wish they'd do it right and ride on the street.

Riding the wrong way on the sidewalk only enforces the idea that cyclists belong on the sidewalk for many motorists.

I have hope that some of these people will talk to more advanced cyclist friends and get turned on to cycling as sport or practical transportation. Then they'll change their riding style and their rides.

FWIW I live east and inland (Silver Lake) in Los Angeles but I work near the beach in Santa Monica. I see more cruiser types out west, but immigrant commuters are everywhere. Now if we could only get those people on the street in fast road bikes!

mr.complaint said...

Yell "Learn to ride!" And enjoy the view.

KP said...

I have been on a paved park trail with designated lanes for bicycles in each direction and have been told that "Road bikes are for the road." Aside from the fact that I was in my designated lane, the one my tax dollars had paid for, while the jogger was not, my response was that I would rather be hit by the fool not paying attention while they ride their bike than by the fool not paying attention while they drive their SUV. I vote for one less SUV. I'm just sayin'

duppy foodstamps said...

I don't know if this article is a joke or not... but either way, yet another reason why I'm glad I don't live in NYC. How you people resist the urge to murder every other person you come across is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

Just wait 'til one of 'em gets crushed by one of their friends driving an Escalade...

Ronald said...

anyone else notice that in addition to that stupid lighting system-King Dork also has a freewheel on his flip flop hub-on a brakeless bike!Pains me-that Bridgestone is my size-I wanna rescue it!

blue_jay said...

ha. the author called you "bitter". indeed. sheesh.

ainsley said...

i live in van, work right at the beginning of yaletown (cambie and smithe). trust me with the vast expanses of my cafe windows i see many a 'pretty, yuppie girl' on cruiser bikes running reds, riding on the sidewalk, and careening into pedestrians- with their boy toys in tow!
i'm constantly stuck behind them as they ride in the middle of the sidewalk on cambie st. bridge, regardless of how busy foot traffic/ bike traffic is. i would like one, just one, of them to get their heads out of their asses and realize what is going on around them.
they are right up there with 'super commuters' that try and race you causing you to slow and later pass them anyway. maybe i'm just a bitter fixie rider?

bike snob you do it again!!

Anonymous said...

What a fucking yuppie hell hole that city has become. Again.

misc. said...

Bike Snob NYC said:

"But wait...isn't it a good thing more people are riding?!?"

It's definitely a mixed blessing. I discovered a flat tire when I left work today, and caught a ride home with my HR manager. He's definitely old school - used to work for the Alaskan Pipeline, and drives a Yukon.

A commuter-in-training was in front of us as we drove down a hill - early 20's, competent bike, but poor handling skills. She was unable to take the lane, or hug the curb. She wobbled between the two positions while traveling a good 15MPH below the speed of traffic.

I found myself in the awkward position of defending her rights while acknowledging her poor survival skills.

To top things off, we noticed she had Ipod earbuds in as we passed.

Anonymous said...

misc - Yep. I know the feeling.

Here in Seattle Dutch bikes are poised to be the NEXT BIG THING. No helmets allowed, naturally. Nothing wrong with them really, but there are better options that don't cost $1500.

My own girlfriend who I love dearly has expressed interest in getting an old step through framed basket bike. I have no objections really. She has 3 bikes and rides a good deal. She also does not ride like a clueless jackass, nor will she be carting any small dogs, designer handbags, or designer handbags made from small dogs.

...although after reading that article she may change her mind.

Duncan said...

I'd rather they ran a red light texting on their crackberries whilst riding a bike, than do it in a hummer/escalade.

As for the one way street chicken match/face off, see above.

None of which should get in the way of a "hey stupid!"

Anonymous said...

Those of you lamenting the absence of helmets on the heads of bike riding girls (and similar deadly sins) should take it a bit more easy... you make bike riding into some kind of high-risk activity like mountain climbing... relax people - it is
NOT. They are just riding their bikes :)

Ryan said...

Agreed, we should not be complaining about not wearing helmets unless we start saying that people in cars need to start wearing them too since that is where most head injuries actually occur (on an accident/hour basis).

Scott said...

Anon 5:09

Dutch bikes big in Seattle?!? The idiocy knows no bounds!

Just so people know, Dutch bikes are particularly suited to Holland because the Netherlands are as flat as a pancake. There are NO hills.

Seattle, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. It's built on a series of rather large hills. Fixie riders in Seattle tend to be more badass than in other cities because to get anywhere (even to the nearest Starbucks, which is never more than a block away), they actually have to climb up serious gradients. Dutch bikes in this city are an absurdity (much like they would be in San Francisco or Los Angeles away from the beach).

Fendergal said...

I'm not sure what I'm more impressed by: your near-closing quote in the article, or that Todd Colby reads your blog.

I'm so full of cake.

E said...

hmm, small blog-world. From another blog I read frequently:

Anyway, whatever gets people riding bikes instead of driving is a good thing... even though it could be further improved.

Bobbo said...

cyber tough...

Motel Noir said...

while I'm all for more people
cycling the idiocy of this style
of rider does little for cycling
at large. Plus they will ruin
good three speeds getting run over
in traffic--how many Sturmey Archer
hubs must be sacrificed for these anorexic tree huggers? Do they
really ride the wrong way all the time in NYC or is that just more
humorous hyperbole?

jim said...

Saw my first lovely-lady on a bike last summer, damn near made me hit the curb. all good!

Anonymous said...

America Suffrage leader Susan B. Anthony said of the bicycle, "I think it has done more to emancipate women then anything else in the world."
Women have been chided and satired throughout history for wanting the same freedoms as men. The bicycle was one of woman's first steps towards Independence. It is disheartening that 2008 media can be juxtaposed with a woman wearing her hair blowing in the wind dressed in short pants with her legs exposed with a magazine dated 1869. She carried a flag that read "progress" maybe we (as women) should be toting a flag that reads "the opposite of progress".

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RS Gold said...

Htc bravo for your estimate inside Observer...gorgeous Godzillas without a doubt! My personal health benefits, you have grow to be Fairly the actual blogospheric sensation, have you not?

Nevertheless, it is nice to find out that somebody besides half-drunk day worker over a Kmart special will be driving the wrong method about streets, completely ignorant there are people available.

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