Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The BSNYC Hump Day Poll Vault

Let's be honest. Who doesn't love a good poll? I think we can all agree there simply aren't enough of them. What's more, I think it's about time someone sliced and diced the world of cycling and polled the marrow out of every single aspect of it so we can see just what makes this thing tick. That way, maybe companies can come up with more and better ways to sell us stuff. So, with Interbike just over the crest of the next hill, I figured I'd go ahead and save them the trouble. If you're in the industry, no need to thank me. Consider this my "thank you" for integrated headsets, proprietary bottom brackets, and $70 cassettes.

Poll #1:



Poll #2:



Poll #3:



Poll #4:


(click here for the entry)



Poll #5:


(click here for the entry)



Poll #6:


(click here for story)



Poll #7:



Poll #8:



Poll #9:



Thank you for rocking the vote!

56 comments:

Scott said...

When I saw that article on cyclingnews.com about #6 last week, I was seriously torn between responses. Part of me said, "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen," but another part of me exuberantly thought, "Oh man, what if I built a Ti hardtail 29er using that and a 14-spd Rohloff hub? That would be frikkin' sweet!"

It is an inner conflict I'm sure all of us will face at some point in our lives.

bikesgonewild said...

...jeez, i missed the popular vote on all but # 9, & that seemed logical simply cuz zinn is much bigger than brandt & known in inner circles for his fierce work w/ the 200mm...

...thank god, at least i'm not trendy...

p.s. --knew you'd find the red 'sore thumb' bike...

quaffimodo said...

Dog dick bars on a monkeybutt bike. Cool.

Aaron said...

Brandt would totally take Zinn. He's got more curmudgeon in 'em.

Prolly said...

I have lights on my brakeless bikes and I wear a helmet too...

I gotta see at night fool!

Chazu said...

Who will portray our protagonist in Bike Snob NYC: The Movie?

1) Jack Black
2) Tom Cruise
3) Samuel L. Jackson
4) Clay Aiken

Anonymous said...

The owner of the Crimson Tide encourages riding a unicycle as cross-training for fixed-gear riding. I just about sprayed my keyboard reading that. Just about sums up that queer little subculture.

Cap'n said...

Satan's Menses!!! Bwaaa Hwaaa!

Rhino said...

I need Shiramitcheyagnolo as an option for Poll #1...

schaughvn said...

#6 looks alot like the now defunct red october drive developed by jericho bicycles 5 years ago. all ideas get recycled.

Jim said...

A couple bones to pick with the polls:

1) Giving roller blading as an option to replace cycling in triathlons just isn't feasible. An activity so gay that even gay people think it's just too gay for words, simply isn't a plausible choice. Couldn't you have suggested something more butch, like Mens Pairs Figure Skating?

2) The poll regarding the brakeless fixie with the elaborate light system failed to include the correct answer, which is "aaaartrgggmmmmppph... drip drip drip." That's the noise that a comatose, nearly-brain dead cyclist, nearly killed in a horrible accident, would make upon realizing that no matter how badly off he may feel, at least he has enough brain stem function not to do that.

3) The carbon fiber drivetrain is actually part of a new amphibious snowmobile/motorcycle - The Snowjob™ - made by DernyCo, of Frahntz. When the driver encounters water, he simply shoulders The Snowjob™ and swims across the water obstacle. Once the obstacle is breached, the operator simply remounts and drives away. It's a groundbreaking new amphibious product brought to you by the makers of the Original Derny product, "I Can't Believe It's Not Scooter™." Skis, tracks and engine sold separately.

4) Finally, Jobst Brandt would totally kick Lennard Zinn's butt. For one thing, I have it on good authority that Brandt is a Crazy Dutch Bastard who would find it easy to distract Zinn by waving shiny things around, and hitting him with ice skates and french fries. For another thing, nobody can get a 200mm crank moving fast enough to cause injury. But who are we kidding - Brandt wouldn't screw around with those pussy semi-aero rims, he'd use a box section Mavic MA 40, 36 spokes in a 3 cross pattern, laced into Sunshine hubs, soldered and tied. Old School representin'!

Tarun said...

My fixie makes BikeSnob! Hooray! I will wear that badge with honor, bitch.

Anonymous said...

I am ashamed to be a Canadian after seeing the panty stain from Toronto.

He's using his school email address as well, probably an engineering student to boot.

Scott said...

I'm afraid I have to disagree with the populace on the nerdiness of Trek. Trek's not a nerdy bike at all. Everyone goes and buys a Trek because that's what Lance Armstrong used. Here's the general conversation:

Clueless customer with more money than knowledge in this area: "I want the best bike you've got. What's the best bike you've got?"

Bike shop owner: "We have a variety of really nice top end road bikes here from Colnago, Specialized, Felt, Bianchi..."

CCWMMTKITA: "Which one did Lance Armstrong ride?"

BSO: "Well, he rode a Trek, but that's just one of many good opti-"

CCWMMTKITA: "I want a Trek then. It's obviously the fastest."

To own a Felt you have to be a little more into cycling and know that the boys on Team Slipstream are riding Felt. Also, a penchant for Argyle doesn't hurt.

Anonymous said...

Hey bikesnob,

If you printed stickers that declare "as seen on BSNYC", or "BSNYC says my bike is cooler than yours" or something like that, and you only sold them to people who have bikes that have "made it", you would probably have a nice nest egg in no time. Especially if the stickers are NJS approved...

bikesgonewild said...

...jim, you may have me on the brandt / zinn thing what w/ waving shiny things around...i shudda known better & on top of that, jobst's nephew is a buddy...

...'men's pairs figure skating', that's big in canada, right ?...

...derny co. has new carbon-belt air-propeller swamp vehicle being prototyped at present...you guessed it, "the blowjob",...
...as they say in swamp boat circles, "see ya later, alligator !"...

John said...

New Treks are definitely nerdy but I own a couple of steel 80s Treks and they're wonderful -- inexpensive and very well-made.

ryank said...

When I first saw the picture of Satan's Menses, I thought to myself "Oh my god, a dinosaur must have somehow mistaken this for a tampon."

But Satan's Menses works just as well.

Art said...

#3 should have an any of the above. Anything that gets triathletes off of bikes is a winner. They do give me good motivation to stay on the front on group rides. It's the only way to avoid the inevitable pileup.

Anonymous said...

$70 cassettes? What, are you riding 8 speed? ;-) $200 for DA 10-spd and almost $400 for Campy Ti 10-spd... you've gotta be kidding me.

The Great White Hype said...

Anon at 3:15

The stickers would sell far quicker if they said "I wish I was on BSNYC". You are right about the NJS part, even though I dont know what it means. Forgive a roadie...

Anonymous said...

If BSNYC didn't own any Giants I am sure that would be on the nerdy poll too. I hate when people try to tell me about their Gi'ant(try sounding French) with their Compact Crankset to match their compact road geometry.

everett said...

I chose 'Raspberry Beret' because 'The Red Menace' and 'Satan's Menses' almost sound cool, and for Christ sake, that bike is not cool.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 9/5 3:15pm and Great White Hype,

Funny you should mention it. Stickers are in the pipe...

(And one day, top tube pads.)

--BSNYC

andy said...

i liked napoleon dynamite pretty well but to put a poster on your wall, well...you gotta be a dork

dave said...

so while jobst brandt could probably kill lennard zinn barehanded, i've ridden every rim in the MA series and they've all busted under me. thus i'm forced to conclude zinn would bury the spider of his 200mm cranks in brandt's head.

oh and i actually own a brakeless fixie (those of us who want to get technical can call it a track bike since it meets all the other criteria too) with an advanced lighting system. but, i've got the excuse of breaking my road frame (oops), and needing to get to work out in the suburbs, and also home from work 15 miles after dark coming from the suburbs where there's no street lights at all. a temporary kludge, honest.

Anonymous said...

Current "Shimagnolo" cross bike: Campy 10 shifters and rear derailleur; Shimano 9 cassette, chain, ft. derailleur, cables, and brakes. It works mostly great!

Bonuscup98 said...

The carbon drive train reminds me of 10-pitch, or even the morons who currently subscribe to the skiptooth deal...or biopace...or Q rings for that matter. It seems that everyone wants to reinvent the (chain) wheel.

Anonymous said...

Q: What's the hardest part of roller blading?

A: Telling your parents you're gay.

Art said...

Anon 2:41; Freaky component kludges are the heart and soul of cyclocross. Besides, once it gets nice and muddy nobody will notice anyway.

mojito said...

I'm disappointed there's no question about how sick of polls the poll-ee is.

Anonymous said...

There's no Suntour option for my road bike? Just what kind of snob wrote this poll?

Philip Williamson said...

I can't believe:
a) half a alla y'all don't even seem to know what a nerd IS, which freaks me out on a bike-blog. I guess this whole cycling thing HAS gone mainstream!

b) anyone would think Jobst Brandt wouldn't kick you in the balls (metaphorically, on usenet) for tying and soldering your spokes. That shit's pure voodoo. Science-free.

c) I failed to vote "non-tubeless." It didn't even register the first time through!

Ogg the Caveman said...

Some of us still shift with a stick and brake with our feet, you insensitive clod.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Oh my god! The minions of Jobst Brandt appear to have tampered with the polls! Is nothing sacred?!? Zinn was winning fair and square.

--BSNYC

PS: Yes, according to JB, the efficacy tied-and-soldered spokes is "myth and lore."

Nick said...

There is no way anyone would stand a chance against Lennard with those cranks. His long arms and that spider would work the other guy. He's also good at bobbing and weaving.

bikesgonewild said...

...caveman ogg ride good...now suggest idea for wheel be better if made round...no thump, thump, thump, thump...

Emily Zinn said...

I am a next-generation Zinn and I'm here to tell you that tall guys are scrappy. Besides, have you ever seen a movie where the big guy puts his hand on the little guy's forehead and the little guy can't even get in a hit? Picture that image before you vote.

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