BSNYC Friday Holy Crap, It's Friday Already? I'm Still Wearing The Same Underpants From Monday!

Things!  I have them to do!

Therefore, I'm going to get right to this week's quiz, but not before informing you that your current bell sucks and that you need this, the Chris King Headset of ding-a-lings:

Evidently there's a real pent-up demand for a bell worthy of a Fred's cockpit, because they've already raised a shitload of money:

Whatever.  I'm holding out for either an electronic or a hydraulic version.

Anyway, I wasn't kidding about things and the having to do of them, so I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then fan-fucking-tastic, and if you're wrong you'll see how we do things here in America.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and stay dry this weekend--unless you're all flaky and scaly, in which case stay moist.

Love,

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Putz.

--True

--False

2) In Boston, the latest weapon against bike thieves is:

--Electronic tracking devices

--Video surveillance

--Cardboard cutouts of police officers

--Drone strikes

("Craaack!  Craaack!")

3) Which is of the following is not a basic difference between crows and ravens?

--Crows are smaller

--"Crows rock to Caw, ravens just Rock!"

--Ravens land in a more solid, stable manner

--Crows are clever, whereas ravens are just fucking stupid

(Ben Serotta has been known to trade frames for tooth whitenings.)

4) Having been terminated by the bicycle company he founded, Ben Serotta has announced that he will now manufacture crabon fribé toothbrushes under the brand name "VeloDent."

--True

--False

(Big deal.  Shimano was doing the hydraulic thing years ago.)

5) You need SRAM hydraulic rim brakes because:

--"SRAM claims that Mark Cavendish said they saved him from crashing in the big stage 1 pileup in the Tour de France on Corsica"

--"I had a jogger jump out in front of me on the Boulder Creek Bike Path and I stopped on a dime without skidding"

--"I really like being able to wrap all four of my fingers around the front...great position...pulling hard...long...hot...sweaty..."

--All of the above

(The face that launched a thousand Fred boners.)

6) Oh, just retire already.

--True

--False

7) "Shine on, you crazy _____________":

--Diamond

--Salt shaker cap

--Futuristic Japanese Metal Space Puck

--Apple 'iNip' electronic nipple pastie

***Special "Precarious Balance Of The Universe"-Themed Bonus Question***

Is to:

As:

--Day is to night

--Light is to darkness

--Kosher dairy is to Lactaid

--All of the above