Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Fitment Issues: K.O.P.S. vs. C.O.P.S.

No sooner did I announce The Great BSNYC/RTMS Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (presented by the Gourmet Cheese of the Month Club) than the submissions began to roll in. You'll note that I didn't put forth much in the way of rules, since mixing "rules" and "art" is like mixing Shimano and Campy and I didn't want to inhibit anyone's creativity. Unfortunately though, I should have at least specified "no testicles," because one of the first photographs I received was this:

After burning my monitor and purchasing a new one I sent the contestant a sternly-worded email, though I did offer him a second chance and I'm pleased to say he redeemed himself:


This is infinitely more tasteful and a solid effort. The singlespeed mountain bike is the track bike's dirtier, uglier second cousin (just as the clear chainring guard is the pie plate's chunkier and only slightly less dorky half-brother), and the Foster's can represents Fyxomatosis. Note also the placement of the Foster's (or, as they call it in Australia, "breakfast), which as you can see has been "kicked to the curb" (or, as they call it in Australia, the "kerb"). He's even managed to slip in an Obama spoke card and a Pentabike sock. But perhaps most importantly, no testicles are in evidence. (Or, as they call them in Australia, "pants yabbies.")

Here's another salacious submission:



It's becoming increasingly clear to me that I've opened a Pandora's can of worms with this contest. I refuse to make any cheap comments about the track ends and "rear entry," though I do reserve the right to gloat about my refusal, and I maintain that alluding to a tasteless comment is different from actually making it. (Saying you haven't done something even when you just did it is called an "Australian denial.") I also think it's worth pointing out that any spouse or significant other walking in on this photo shoot would very quickly get the wrong idea, so I want to state unequivocally that this site shall not be responsible for any domestic disputes resulting in putting underpants on bicycles. (Or, as they call putting underpants on bicycles in Australia, "Saturday night.")

Finally, speaking of mountain bikes, pie plates, and extreme naughtiness, it just so happens that even before I announced the Fyxomatosis contest a reader sent me this photo involving a pie-plated mountain bike:

Because the original photo is highly unsafe for work, notice I have dressed the model in colors that match her bicycle. (She already had the gloves and shoes.) Notice also that I have not made any tasteless jokes about "exposed pie plates." (That's another "Australian denial.") If you want to see the original and you are either not at work or you work in the sort of place where it's perfectly acceptable to look at explicit pornography (like Starbucks corporate headquarters, or the Parliament of Australia, or any company in France), it's (here). If you can't look but you're still curious, I'll just tell you she's pretty much doing what most fixed-gear freestylers do, which is climbing all over the bike without actually riding it.

Yes, fixed-gear freestyling can sometimes be a fashion show. Literally. Just take a look at this video:

Naturally I immediately performed the BSNYC/RTMS Fixed-Gear Video Test on this. While the Celine Dion music didn't match up too well, this did. In fact, I think in Smash Mouth's "All Star" I may very well have found the perfect fixed-gear video soundtrack. It works with absolutely everything. I'm not sure why this is, but I suppose it has something to do with the fact that it's cartoonish, irritating, and massively overplayed, with just a hint of contrived "edginess." Celine's great for the videos with high production values, but she's just a little too schmaltzy for the "grittier" stuff.

In addition to discovering the perfect fixed-gear video soundtrack, I think I may also have discovered the missing link between the fixed-gear trend and the p-far trend. And that link is the elephant trunk skid:

I don't know why I didn't notice this sooner, but it's obvious to me now that the elephant trunk skid is simply a subconscious attempt to mimic the penny-farthing riding style:


(Fixters look up to p-fars. Way up.)

I can only surmise that there must be something in the DNA of certain riders that compels them to clamber up atop the front wheel in this matter, and I also suspect that many of them will never be satisfied until they own actual p-fars. Until they do, they will continue to compulsively straddle their Aerospokes and Hed tri-spokes and Spinergy Rev-Xes in the same way that Richard Dreyfuss couldn't stop himself from sculpting that mountain in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

But while K.O.P.S. isn't for everyone, neither is C.O.P.S. ("Crotch Over Pedal Spindle," the p-far fitting rule of thumb). I was thumbing through the New York Times Style Magazine (don't ask me how these awful things find their way into my bathroom) when I noticed this:

Yes, it's an essential bit of journalism about some sockless rich guy and all his expensive crap. Notice that like many sockless rich guys with expensive crap, he has a relatively inexpensive and useless bicycle:

“He describes his Electra Townie 21-speed (around $500) as a beach cruiser on steroids. ‘The pedals are positioned slightly forward, so you can ride forever and not get tired.’”

Wow, that's not just misinformation--it's misinformation on steroids. If positioning your feet slightly forward on a bicycle meant you could ride forever without getting tired then recumbents would be perpetual motion machines. (As it is, they're just perpetual embarrassment machines.) Granted, I have no recumbent riding experience, but I'm fairly certain they tire you out eventually. Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe some of these guys have been riding around for years, stopping only to feed themselves at drive-thru fast food restaurants. (That could explain while they all have beards and ample midriffs.)

Lastly, I'd like to announce that I'm about to "drop" a "collabo." Many of you probably saw this coming, and I can now confirm that the rumors are true and I'm finally about to release my own line of paper towels:

As you can see, I've been test-marketing them in Brazil, where they've been a smashing success. Not only are they highly absorbent, but in a pinch you can use them to make yarmulkes. I'm also looking for the perfect pitch person, preferably a pro rider famous for crashing a lot. I'm currently in talks with Cadel Evans. "When I take a spill on the bike, I drop back to the team car. But when I spill my Foster's, I reach for a roll of Snob." Cadel will tell you he's not considering it, but that's just an Australian denial.

116 comments:

Anonymous said...

CANADA ROCKS

Anonymous said...

1st!

Anonymous said...

meh1st!

Anonymous said...

First! after all these years...

Anonymous said...

Damn you! Course cutters!

Anonymous said...

BOO YA! Top TennN!!!

Anonymous said...

oakland represent!

Anonymous said...

podium

Anonymous said...

yay

Anonymous said...

YES. top 10

Mark said...

Podium, second tier!

Anonymous said...

It's KEEEHHHB, not kerb

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

So close.
So damn close.

hillbilly said...

dammit that's funny, or as they say in australia, burp

Anonymous said...

WALLABEES FOR LIFE

Anonymous said...

woogie woogie

hillbilly said...

i think 'we didn't start the fire' and 'we built this city' could be winners for the video test as well.

Scott said...

Thems some meat curtains, there.

Anonymous said...

Some fashion show. With the quality of that "riding" I hope they were modeling pads, lots of them.
It was funnier and ironically un-ironic watching it to The Dave Matthew's Band's "Crash".


meh.

Anonymous said...

Slow, graceless bike "tricks" with bad ska music? Reminds me of the good times with my Diamondback Viper.

leroy said...

Oh dear.

In Melbourne, the BSNYC Anonymity Protection Protocol might be erroneously dismissed as an Autralian Affirmative.

I may have to re-think this.

What if we all changed our names to Bruce?

Anonymous said...

Bes ever, or as we say in Australia 'beaut'

Anonymous said...

i'll bet that hermetic sealing hurt like hell .

Anonymous said...

I always cringe when I see crashes, however I enjoy seeing fixies crash.

Anonymous said...

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/121008/first-response.gif

Anonymous said...

Every.damn.day. Stuff shoots out my nose.

You one funny F***er.


I AM BIKE SNOB!

Anonymous said...

In a moment of ill-advised megalomania, I was thinking of doing the BSNYC/RTMS Fixed Gear Video Test with the sound from an OC video...

...then I remembered what Egon said about crossing the streams...

"Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."

Discretion being the better part of valor, I'll quell my curiosity and leave responsibility for the destruction of the Earth to someone else...



meh.

hillbilly said...

i think keanu is taking care of that

Anonymous said...

I can recommend her pre-ride stretching routine to anyone. I bet she avoids a sore back and neck. Since lycra is a 4-way stretch material, I am not sure what she gains by stretching in the nude, but hey, I'm sure not complaining.

Anonymous said...

AS an Englishman I would just like to commend you for your totally unprovoked Australian baiting. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

And here I figured the paper of the Snob would just be one ply crack wiper.

Kark said...

The twelve vibes vid is like, total killer... I'm with Pop Richmond. Takes me back to shitting the bed at flatland BMX tricks. ..only I sucked ass alone in my laneway instead of on a stage with moody lighting an audience and a soundtrack. of course if I had HAD an audience back in the mid eigthies I'd surely have waved to the crowd after each embarrassing failure.

Jeezus, those guys are the lamest lame-o's in lameville. Watching the kid 'huck' a drop-in on a 3ft high by 30 degree ramp was a definate highlight. runner up goes to the last guy trying (and failing) at one of the easiest flatland tricks out there.

bravo guys. yer puttin' the 'awk' back in rawk there.

Russ said...

I'm pretty sure the chrome frame with the panties is way too young to be posing like that. Pedalphilia?

Scott said...

You totally RTMS'd that link.

Strayhorn said...

So I checked out the FemJoy site and wondered: cute girl but why is she having her ob-gyn exam on a bike? Wouldn't the exam table be more comfortable, even with the stirrups?

I guess there is just some things that men are not meant to know.

Anonymous said...

I think that fixxie video is by far the most shameful thing ever posted related to fixed gear riding.

Have these people seriously never seen a flatland BMX bike? They were doing better shit in RAD, and that was over 20 years ago!!!!! Auughhhh....

Anonymous said...

I so don't get the elephant trunk--it just looks wrong!

Anonymous said...

Electra bicycles are overweight, overpriced, and clumsy, just like the people who buy them.

Anonymous said...

Snobby said: "I think I may also have discovered the missing link between the fixed-gear trend and the p-far trend. And that link is the elephant trunk skid."

One time I was riding part of the Philadelphia Freedom Valley Ride, with old-timey style guy Curtis, who owns Via Bicycle. (Curtis used to ride a hotdog vending bicycle to Lemon Hill during the US Pro races. And, he has an old-timey handlebar moustache.) Anyhoo, while we were riding the Freedom Valley Ride, he told me that one year, he did the whole ride on a p-far. I was astounded how he did this one particular steep and fast descent. He said that on a p-far, you put your legs up over the handlebars, so that your legs stay out of the way of the spokes and pedals, until the bike gets to the bottom and finally slows down.

So, based on this important information about p-far technique, I have come to the conclusion that it's not so much the elephant trunk skid that links the fixties and p-fars, its that they like to hang legs over the handlebars.

Draw your own conclusions about teabagging the handlebar...

Todd said...

So that's what happened to Ska. It just moved underground. And all this time I thought it died along with the singer from Sublime.

Anonymous said...

dunno mate, my chainring plate has saved my pants yabbies many times.

Anonymous said...

Damn, these comments stink! Who p-far-ted?

Anonymous said...

Awesome paper towel collabo. I might suggest direct marketing demographic to internet users 18-35:

"Snob Towels, recommended by 4/5 Internet bike Porn Masterbators, we put the value in wank".

Anonymous said...

Good Job Snobby, now you have an entire continent pissed at you.

grog said...

BSNYC says:
1)I like my knee over my ankle.
2)I wear pants when riding.
3)Snob paper towels are the best.
4)meh

I AM BIKE SNOB NYC.

bikesgonewild said...

...considering the size of that little orange circle, i hope the submitter was informed that they looked like testicles, only smaller...

...if that lovely young woman w/ the scott bike had been wearing red sidi dragon 2 srs carbon's...well, let's just say i might not be headed out for my usual road loop over the mountain today...

...& while the music was good w/ that video, those riders had as much "flow" as a backed up toilet...
...which is appropriate considering bsnyc/rtms's new 'snob brand' paper towels because we all know the new toilet paper can't be far 'behind'...
...speaking of "dropping a collabo"...wow...
...& really, what again could be more appropriate considering the the comments on this site...

...what ???...fucking right, i include myself...

...& btw...do they even have toilet paper in australia ???...w/ all the poisonous, venomous lurking spiders, snakes & whatnot, i figured it was 'drop & run', then hose "down under" later...

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Between the fatweh, the NYC bike lanes and the Ozzies, his only safe haven may be Canadia.

The last guy to parachute into Canadia from the US is likely to be our next Prime minister.I vote Snobbie for King.

Anonymous said...

allusion: i'd like to position my pedals slightly forward on that Scott Model's pie plate

brett said...

I realize a properly adjusted der shouldn't drop a chain into the spokes, but it can be a fairly costly mistake when it happens. It seems you appreciate the value of clutter like brakes and bar tape, so why are pie plates such a no-no?

Note: earnest question, no criticism or irony intended.

bikesgonewild said...

...brett...earnest answer...

...honestly, how many times have you ever dropped yer chain into the spokes...
...think i've done it twice in 40 years of riding (yep, that long) & not once in the last 30 years...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Genghis--I agree. That elephant trunk skid guy is like a car accident. I can't help but stare & wonder--Why does he have his head thrown to the side like that? Is he wearing lycra with a button up? Are those women's sunglasses?

I don't understand how something so senseless like this happens.

Anonymous said...

Brett, a properly- adjusted derailleur will not throw the chain ABSENT PILOT ERROR. This is why the pieplate is such a no-no. Learn to properly operate your equipment and the pieplate becomes extraneous weight and clutter. Pieplates are the training wheels of the multi-geared.

Anonymous said...

At least one of the Supra-Schills was using BMX bars.

And now I understand why small riser bars became so popular all of a sudden.

Boys-to-men had outgrown their BMX frames but swapped some of the parts, or were at least more comfortable with them.

I liked hi-rise bars, northroad bars and drop bars for the same reason of familiarity and it took a while for me to appreciate MTB straight bars.

kale said...

brett:

Geese.

Anonymous said...

Uh... shill. Sorry.

Unless they're concurrently chill.

kale said...

forgot link:

http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/05/uncommon-valor-protecting-humanity-for.html

Anonymous said...

when you live in da boonies and you gots a dial-up modum and you share a party line with 15 other people in viper it can be damm hard to get a top 10 even tho i did it once

Anonymous said...

No one speaks about it, but the victimization of the bicycles in these "art" pictures is the real tragedy. When BikeSnob had to burn his monitor, was he thinking of the degradation that the bicycle had to endure? Oh sure, "Hey, they're just making a living," or, "no one is forcing them to do it," you might be thinking. But do these bicycles really have a choice? They grow up in degrading circumstances. Sometimes being passed from persom to person along the way to be used in any way the "owner" see fit. Come on people! You can get your jollies some other way, can't you? As Susan Powter would say: "Stop the insanity!!!"

Anonymous said...

And I thought rich guys without socks rode BMC's. I was so wrong! Thanks for the enlightenment Snob. Now I'm going into my library to polish my Townie with some Brasso on a super-absorbent Snob paper towel(ing).

Jim said...

I think you oughtta market Snob Paper Towels as just the thing to clean up evidence of unsightly sharts.

kale said...

I think the Snob could clean up hurtie owie boo-boos on footsie-tootsies quite well.

Anonymous said...

Seeing freestyle tricks I was doing as a kid in 1982 but on the obvious wrong tool for the job and being touted as the new hip thing.... Man, I think some folks' parents didn't pay enough attention to them.

Anonymous said...

yeah, clutter like brakes and bar tape. i hate that stuff, any serious cyclist knows you don't need it. lance doesn't use that stuff and he won the tour de france like eleven times. nothing like a bare metal bar for grip and comfort. and brakes only slow you down. me and lance are all about speed. god, people can be sooo stupid.

Anonymous said...

I always throw my tools on the ground in a childish fit whenever something doesn't turn out like I planned.

Anonymous said...

What is a Fleshlight?

The Fleshlight contains an interchangeable masturbation sleeve which is encased in a container that resembles a large flashlight, allowing for simple and discreet storage. The masturbation sleeve portion is made from a patented material called Real Feel Superskin™, which is famous for its ability to replicate the sensation of penetrative sex through various orifices such as the vagina, mouth or anus. The sleeves themselves come in a variety of inner textures to enhance your sexual experience.

The biggest difference between the Fleshlight and all other masturbation toys, is its incredibly realistic feel, attention to quality, and ease of use. The Fleshlight is a high-quality product which is made in the USA, and, with proper care, will give you a lifetime of enjoyment.

www.fleshlight.com

Anonymous said...

+1 for Starship's "We Built This City."

Gabriel Nogueira said...

The Snob made me home sick now...I miss my grandma cleaning the table with that paper towels...

Anonymous said...

Boo-urns BSNYC! You leave the link to the naked chick but not to the testicles!!
Some of us would rather see nuts than breasts and cunts!

Anonymous said...

^^ true dat! include pics of the testies!1!11!

The guy doin' the thing said...

"Granted, I have no recumbent riding experience, but I'm fairly certain they tire you out eventually."...that'd be from all that pickin' yourself up off the ground...

Bluenoser said...

The Snob Towelettes could be used rolled up into little balls and put in sprinters nostrils when they hit the mountains in the grand tours.

Too high for them, nosebleeds and all.

And as a Canuck I welcome a Harvard Prof as a PM.

-B

BikeSnobNYC said...

sometimesifaint,

Alas, there was no website to link to as the photo was emailed to me directly, but there is a website called "Teabags on Top Tubes" where you can find many just like it.

Notice I did not add "if that's your bag." (Australian denial.)

Looking out for everybody,

--RTMS

Bluenoser said...

Too good Snobbie, too good.

-B

Anonymous said...

^^ thanks BSNYC, I'll get on that right away.

Anonymous said...

btw... does "teabags on toptubes" have spaces in between and is it a .com or .org

LKSugarman said...

So, you'll point to the naked girl pics, but you don't have the balls to show us the balls. Hmph!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 6:08pm,

TBOTT can be found here.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

YES! THANK YOU!

Bluenoser said...

She has a point there Snob.

-B

Anonymous said...

Wow, we take a beating huh. When your economy turns to dust much like an Egyptian artifact being unearthed we follow suit despite being innocent of all crimes, then we get a beating for drinking beer for breakfast, humping koalas, Russell Crowe ( who is a Nooo Zealander which is to the right and across the ditch about 2000 kms), pants yabbies , CE’s whinning voice and his Coltrane suitcase of excuses and all manner of things. Still think you nancy sailor boys are still piffed when we stole the Cup and eventually gave it to the Swedes for a little joke. At least we are cultured and sporting enough to have a winning cricket team… tip tip cucumber sandwiches await
And Lydia you need to go back and look at tea bagging references. My optometrist is still treating my eyes for welding- flash like burns.

Critical Ass said...

That sure didn't take a very big orange circle to cover up that guy's nuts

Anonymous said...

C'mon guys. Pussys are like snowflakes; no two are alike. However, if you've seen one nutsack, you've seen them all.

Anonymous said...

In Oz, Trouser snake is more common. I haven't heard Pants Yabbie before but I think it is time I started using it!

Anonymous said...

AP, at least you learned. I followed snob's link (for investigative purposes only). Of course, the first picture is some chick trying very awkwardly to drape her ta-ta's. And the awkwardness isn't even the worst part, it appears one of her nipples is inverted. Ewww.

Calling my eye doctor tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

red,
You must be on the Information Backwoods Dirt Road. I'm not sure you can get to the Superhighway from there.





not my bit, stolen from Bizzarro, but still on point.


meh.

Anonymous said...

Get over the fixed gear bashing. There's twice as many Mountain bike riders on the streets of SF than roadies and fixed combined. Don't hear you talking shit about these goof balls with their $600 front shox to absorb the occasional MUNI track.

My guess is that your ironic Orange Julius bike is in fact a custom Stumpjumper and you wouldn't know a single track from a heart attack.

Stump on, Snobby!

Anonymous said...

SF Riding,
The reason the Freds riding high buck dual-sqishies on city streets are relatively ridicule-free is that they perform the necessary service of keeping nice sleds in good condition so they can be sold to real riders on the cheap after they loose their luster.
Just try to think of your beloved streets as an open-air, no-kill shelter for wayward bikes, and their riders as foster owners.
It's trickle-down economics at its best!


meh.

Anonymous said...

Wow Frills you are an accurate investigator if you looked so close to discern an inverted nipple.I picked up ingrown toe nails. Such are the demands of an inquiring mind

Anonymous said...

So where are all the angry sputterings of those deeply offended by Snobby's recent skewerings? You Aussies sure aren't giving us much to work with here in the back room.

SF Riding, some of us actually ride to the trails and back home after, or at least to a place that serves beer and Mexican food, and somehow find ouselves back at home later on. Try it some time.

Anonymous said...

Just for Xmas, the makers of the "Bike Cyst" have brought out a glove with "Ride Hard" tattooed on the knuckles for those of us who are just a little too soft to get permanent ink. Sweet

Anonymous said...

AP
Does that mean they are encouraging riding with a stiffy?
I expect a close examination of the Elephant Trunk skidders may reveal several potential customers for said gloves.
With all the NSFW links Snobby's been hitting us with, could be he's getting a kickback...


...hmmmmm....


meh.

Anonymous said...

'one night in bangkok' makes for a good soundtrack...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgmoEHnUpjk

good job snob

Linda said...

I still wanna win the schmata.

Anonymous said...

speaking as a token aussie, i just have to say that if you expect us to be offended, you'll really have to ramp up the pisstaking a notch or two. so far its been decidely half-arsed. pissweak even.

Anonymous said...

CARY BALL

Anonymous said...

No Australians drink Fosters (I don't think you can actually buy it here). It's disgusting swill that could only appeal to the American palette.

Anonymous said...

I saw a fixter riding double discs in the wind.
Fashion 1, Function 0.

Anonymous said...

Tex

As someone else said Snob's attack on Aussie is a bit piss weak, but very funny. However if a Pom had made the same remarks the whole blog world would have melted. Also I agree that Fosters is so July! We now drink Tasmaina beers (think beer from Deliverance country)

urchin said...

Has anyone already suggested this for the test soundtrack? Maybe just good as a negative control...

Anonymous said...

Holy shit Urchin...

...I mean...

...that's...


..actually, I wonder how that would match up with the OC?


meh.

Anonymous said...

Is that a shaven legged single speed mountain biker?

Messiah or harbinger of the apocalypse?

When it's over it's over, drink up. said...

"...considering the size of that little orange circle, i hope the submitter was informed that they looked like testicles, only smaller..."

There's only one x 1 x 1 in the entry. One is all you need.

kale said...

SF Riding:

Having lived in both places I can attest to the superior ability of the mtb in SF/BA. That aside, it's been pretty much impossible until the recent SSMTB trend to get a new mtb without 100mm or more squish stock, and if you want to put a (Surly/Kona) aftermarket or recycled solid, that's way above most people's ability (not to mention fixing a flat). However, the few, if any, mtbs in NYC are ridden by the hardest working Thai delivery people in the world. Those Schwinns, Iron Horses, and Pacifics are the only fully squish you'll see, they're definitely goof balls, and they outnumber roadies and fixters by at least 3 orders of magnitude.

Also, BSNYC vs. BSSFO. BS means something else in SF, as I recall.

Anonymous said...

Shit, someone get on this quick:

Oury Grips. handlebar grips. rubber - $9 (Brooklyn)

RED Oury grips

retails at $13. yours for $9

Brand new, still in packaging

Anonymous said...

personally, i think this song fits much better with the twelve vibes video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddqN9ZzRK_8

nickhacks said...

havent watched the vid, but as soon as i saw that pic, I also thought of Smash Mouth's "All Star"

touché

Anonymous said...

Bluenoser said...
And as a Canuck I welcome a Harvard Prof as a PM.


Ignatieff was never a Harvard Professor, he was a visiting scholar. Upon returning to Canada, his most noted policy was the full, and continuing support of the war in Iraq.
If we want an American to run the country, we might as well stick with Harper and the Conserepublican party.

Either way, we lose. It's amazing that a little country like Canada can end up with fucked up politicians even worse than the US.

I'm changing my name to CommieMexicoNorth.

ant1 said...

It's almost like shitty politicians are not a US only problem.

moonshiner said...

y'all funny as hell....

Anonymous said...

Antone, suck my moules, you ingrate.

Anonymous said...

What stuns me about the elephant trunk skid is the willingness to lay one's real genitals over a pair of handle bars, potentially sacrificing them, for the display of a purely metaphorical phallus, the "elephant trunk." Not always clear on this irony thing, but I think it might apply here.

And, now that I think about it, perhaps this strange elephant trunk display doesn't, in fact, indicate such a high level of stupidity -- performers, sans pants, probably sport the flat asexual look of a Ken doll -- this is all a desperate cry for the lords of science to bequeath them with a functioning elephant-like dangle between the legs. The "elephant" is "I NEED a phallus."

Team Lugged Nutz said...

I would love to see an elephant trunk skid on a p-far with a pie plate.......come on photoshoppers!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of bikes with the pedals really far in front of the seat... of all bikes I've ridden, this thing mostly resembled a perpetual motion machine:

http://www.velocouche.com/events/olivierCVside2034.jpg

...and yes, it's also the most dorkish.

Anonymous said...

I think the guy with his leg over the bar is my idiot ex-boyfriend. What an idiot!!!