Keeping Your Balance: The Key To Cycling

It's in my nature to seek out symmetry in things, especially with cycling. In fact, it's in all of our natures--scientists say that humans are attracted to and find beauty in symmetry. (Though I can think of plenty of symmetrical things that are ugly, among them: ergonomic computer keyboards; Larry King; and Treks.) Still though, if you're anything like me you can appreciate the cosmic hum you feel in your core when something lines up just right, and I think on a certain level it's the feeling we're all after when we ride. And recently, the scent of symmetry has been in the air--at least for me. Here are just a few examples:

Some time ago, I stumbled upon the above tattoo. I don't know whose it is or who it represents. The yellow jersey and lonestar helmet would indicate Lance Armstrong, but the Colnago suggests otherwise. Perhaps its a tribute to somebody else altogether. Perhaps it's highly personal. Maybe you're the wearer, or maybe you know the wearer, and you can provide some insight. In any case, though, I was troubled by the origins of this mysterious marking. And then Stevil Knievel of the great howtoavoidthebummerlife sent me this:

Somehow this tattoo made everything OK. Maybe it's because the yellow jersey tattoo suddenly had a counterpart in the universe. A Pepsi to its Coke. A Campy to its Shimano. A Balki Bartokomous to its Larry Appleton. I don't know what to call it except symmetry. And it made everything all right.

Then, today, I saw that Fat Cyclist made a flattering reference to my site on his, which was undeserved but highly appreciated. It also made me think about how we are very different yet, in a way, complimentary. In a sense, I like to think I'm the Luke Skywalker to his Luke Skywalker:

But that might be pushing it. Perhaps this comparison is more apt:

At any rate, I think there's a balance there. (Thanks FC.)

And the symmetry inherent in the cycling culture is quite apparent this weekend here in New York. On one end of the Long Island Land Mass, Erwin Vervecken, Ryan Trebon, and other cyclocross luminaries will compete in Southampton, summer home of Sean Combs, Howard Stern, Steven Spielberg, and their innumerable landscapers and domestics. This will be a great opportunity to see your cyclocross heroes racing knee deep in money instead of mud.

Meanwhile, on the other end of that storied two-pronged glacial moraine, on the gritty streets of Brooklyn (well, at least it used to be gritty, and maybe it still is if you consider West Elm gritty), the "Battle at the Banks" will take place. Expect more front trispokes than a triathlon, more naked bars than a red light district, and more skid marks than a prison laundry. (Though I'm not sure if "banks" refers to the incline on the flyer or the fact that they keep opening new ones in this part of town.)*

*(This just in. Brooklyn Banks actually in Manhattan. BSNYC stupid, symmetry blown.)

So whatever your cycling inclinations, I think there's a certain beauty in the fact that, for one weekend at least, a big hunk of land will be transformed into one giant balance scale, with fixed-gear freestylers vying for supremacy on one end, and cyclocrossers battling it out on the other. And there's even a crit right in the middle at the pivot point if you're not sure where you belong.

So whatever you're riding this weekend and wherever that ride takes you, just remember what we'd be left with if cycling were to lose its beautiful symmetry and balance: recumbents.

From LBS to Complete BS: The Future of Bicycle Retail

The caprices of fashion, the realities of global warming, and the undeniable fun and practicality of cycling have conspired to make bicycles more popular than ever before. But while manufacturers are doing their damnedest to appeal to this new crop of cyclists, the retail end still has some catching up to do. Most traditional bike shops have little to offer the fixed-gear freestylers, Beautiful Godzillas, and Wall Street triathletes that increasingly make up the body cycliste. Like the Whole Foods shopper who walks into an A&P and is bewildered by the absence of a cheesemonger and an olive bar, these riders are often at a total loss upon entering a typical LBS. Consequently, track bike boutiques and ultra-high end road and multisport shops are starting to spring up in our cities, and together with the systematic un-grittification of cities like New York, the trend seems to be specialization and luxury. For those looking to enter bicycle retail, or for shops looking to adapt, here are some free ideas to keep you ahead of the curve:

Urban Bicycle Parking Lounges

One of the main reasons people cite for not riding a bicycle in New York is theft. There's simply no lock strong enough to keep a thief from appropriating your bicycle if he decides he wants it. Of course, one solution would be to ride a bicycle so crappy that even if someone wanted to take it you wouldn’t care. However, this precludes our inalienable right to conspicuous consumption. Do you want to live in a world where it's impossible to own an NJS bar bike? I sure don't. That's why I see bicycle parking lounges opening in our city's trendier neighborhoods in the near future. Simply roll up to Bedford Avenue, or Valencia Street, or Damen Avenue, enter a storefront that probably used to house one of those old-fashioned bike shops, take a ticket from some kid who probably used to be an old-fashioned shop rat, maybe buy a free-trade coffee or a lifestyle magazine, and then meet your friends at the bar. While it's one less excuse to use a top-tube pad, you'll no longer have to wait for that second Tecate to kick in before you stop worrying about your bike. Plus, you could even have a bowling alley-like shoe exchange so you could wear cycling shoes. I mean, you can ride a Ferrari to a restaurant in South Beach, but you can’t ride a Colnago to a lounge in the East Village. And that needs to change.

Cycling Lifestyle Consultancies

A traditional bike shop can only offer so many bicycle models and so much personal attention. Even the most service-oriented shop only has a limited number of models and accessories to choose from, and their overhead is so high and their margins so thin that sooner or later they have to move on to the next customer. Enter the Cycling Lifestyle Consultant. Part coach, part therapist, part interior decorator, your personal CLC will commute with you, train with you, and recreate with you until he or she has determined the exact bicycle that your lifestyle demands. You’ve heard of the bicycle that “dissapears beneath you;” well, this bike will integrate itself so seamlessly into your life you’ll forget it’s even there. Your CLC can even accompany you to group rides, races, and alleycats and show you the ropes so you can avoid those pesky learning curves. What's more antiquated than paying your dues? Pay a CLC instead!

Bicycle Tailors

Whatever your feelings on top tube pads, it would seem they’re not going anywhere anytime soon. And it’s already difficult to get a good fit. Some are long, some are short. Some are designed for fat aluminum tubing, others for slender steel. This is only going to get more difficult as carbon fiber enables manufacturers to shape their frames any way they choose. It’s only a matter of time before hemming them and altering them becomes an essential part of the process. Guaranteed, in a few years everybody who visits a bicycle boutique is going to need to swing by the tailor afterwards. Be ahead of the curve and open one today.

De-Fixification Clinics

So you bought yourself an 80s road frame conversion, but now you can’t stand that everyone else has one too. And being different is more important than having fun. So you want to convert it back to a geared bike. Or, maybe you’re someone who just bought a nice track bike that someone turned into a fixed-gear freestyler and then got tired of, and you want to turn it back into a real bike. Well, just take it to your neighborhood de-fixification clinic, where if it’s fixed, they’ll fix it. I see a demand for places like this well into the future—we’re not going to be able to undo the last five years of bicycle butchery overnight.

The Brakery

My favorite new bike boutique name is No Brakes. (Hi guys.) Trendy, sure. But don’t make the mistake of trying to jump on the bandwagon by naming your shop after some other kind of mechanical deficiency, like “One Crank Arm,” “No Saddle,” or “Flat Tire.” Instead, fill the gap! That’s what specialization is all about. At The Brakery, they’ll focus on one thing and one thing only—stopping your bike. Calipers, cantis, linear pulls. Center-pulls, side-pulls, dual-pivots. Brake shoes, cartridges, straddle cables. Levers, cables, housing, travel agents. Mechanical discs, hydraulic discs, rotors. Retrofits, coaster brakes, even those stupid old-fashioned rod brakes. Whatever your stopping needs, at The Brakery, they’ll brake your bike. Just take a number.

Bike Photography Studios

As bikes get more popular, showing them off becomes more important. Your bike is an extension of yourself, and you want to meet people and have them like you because of the bike you ride. Velospace, Fixedgeargallery, Myspace, Facebook—wherever you look people are showing off their rides and begging fervently for approval. So don’t make the mistake of snapping a crappy photo with your camera phone and immortalizing your dorkiness. Instead, get your bike photographed at a professional bike photography studio. Not only will you get a great shot, but a team of stylists will also make sure you get the best out of your bike. They’ll have an array of colored chains, clinchers, and top tube pads available. Turn that conversion into a sensation. People will be friending your bike faster than an unfixed dog friends a leg.

Williams-Sonoma-type Store for Bike Tools

As Felt are well aware, bike tools are more than just a way to fix your bike. They also express your lifestyle. While high-quality bike tools were previously the domain of the pro wrench or the dedicated bike geek, the new breed of cyclist knows that tools are an important part of accessorizing. After all, plenty of people have kitchens full of high-end cookware yet call for take-out every night. The same urge that sends the throngs to stores on Sunday afternoon to shop for expensive copper pots, cutlery sets, and wine-pourers will also compel them to buy combination bottle opener/axle nut wrenches, tire lever/letter openers, and Louis Vuitton allen key pouches. Open one today and be a sensation tomorrow.

Honey, wanna go to Park-Pedro?

Virtual Interbike: Putting the "Vague" in Vegas

I wasn't at Interbike, so I must cull my impressions from the various reports and images that are available online. And while these impressions may be spotty, I think it's safe to say there was a lot of stuff there that I wouldn't have liked. Fortunately though, I didn't have to put "Casino" on the DVD player, get drunk, and go riffling through my parts bin in an attempt to replicate the experience of being there. Instead, the guys at VelocityNation sent me a bunch of pictures, and since the NYC road racing season is pretty much over they even deigned to publish my reactions. If you're curious to see what my words look like on an actual website with flickering ads, go check it out.

Fixedgeargallery...of dogged determination.

Every once in awhile, amid the shoddy conversions and fixed-gear freestylers, you see something on Fixedgeargallery that is truly inspirational. This is one such bike:

This bike literally brings tears to my eyes. Not because it's ugly--and oh yes, it is ugly--but because it refuses to take "no" for an answer. They said that because of its vertical dropouts it would never know the joys of being a fixed-gear. It does. They said that because it was designed for 26" wheels it could never accommodate 700c rims. It can. They said that the aero brake levers wouldn't pull the right amount of cable to work with v-brakes. They do. This bike is the rolling embodiment of the American way. It is about making the impossible possible. It is about the indomitability of the cycling spirit. And most of all, it is about having more adapters than actual components. Even the bike stand is jury-rigged--instead of a single soda can, the bike's leaning on two of those mini-cans. Amazing. This bicycle should travel the country, giving inspirational talks in classrooms. Any one of us who has ever passed over or sold a frame due to an apparent lack of compatibility should hang our heads in shame. This bike was given lemons. But it didn't make lemonade. Somehow, it actually made bananas. This is why I'm proud to award this bike the BSNYC Kludge of the Year Award. Congratulations, and ride with pride.

(The coveted "Kludgie.")

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #25, #26, and #27

I can't speak for the other cities which have gotten the Langster treatment, but when it comes to New York Specialized missed the mark like Michael Rasmussen missed his drug tests. Probably the biggest mistake is the taxicab color scheme. In NYC, bikes and taxicabs don't exactly have a harmonious relationship. In fact, cabs are to cyclists what cats are to mice, or deli slicers are to vegans, or Turks are to Cypriots. We're not exactly looking to pay good money to pay homage to them. Then there's the website copy: "Built for rallying city streets and lapping racers at the velodrome..." Uh, unless you're a derny pacer you're not going to be lapping anybody at the velodrome with flat bars.

The Specialized New York Langster appears to be designed by the same team responsible for the tchotchkes you find in Times Square gift shops. If they really wanted to market a true New York-style fixed-gear, they'd have gone straight to the wellspring of crap that is Craigslist for their inspiration. Here are a few fetid posts from which they could have learned something:

Fixed Gear track bike 50 cm Brass Knuckle TRADE OR SELL - $1200
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/436167003.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-30, 12:51PM EDT

http://velospace.org/node/4695

clink link for the bikes specs

looking for an older bike or rare bike etc price is negotiable but will swap out parts

Note the pricing on this one. Specialized is only charging a retail price of $740 for the New York Langster. While that kind of conservative pricing may fly in Duluth, here in NYC we like our prices inflated like a lipful of collagen. Apartments, cocktails, bikes--if it doesn't have an extra decimal place we figure it just ain't worth buying. Asking $1,200 with a straight face for a bike as ugly as this takes moxie. Note also that the seller is negotiable on price but will swap out parts. If I were buying, I'd actually pay more for any downgrade that would make this bike less disgusting.

50 CM IRO ANGUS Track Bike White / Gold - $750
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/432987600.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-26, 5:44PM EDT


broke as shit, moving, and dont need 2 bikes.

so the angus is for sale. its white, which is dope looking and they dont make the color anymore. it was also a limited run of the frame which isnt drilled for a rear brake AND doesnt have those ugly ass little bottle holder holes.

deep V's laced with black spokes and black nipples with relativly new tires, i built this at the beginning of spring, but then built another bike shortly after which is my daily so this has very few miles, no dents and is clean.

here are some pics, but now it has drop bars and metal cages.

46 16 gearing, nitto stem, bla bla.

gimme a ring if you want it, or email [deleted]

Another New York lesson Specialized would have done well to learn--charge more for less. Yes, nothing is "doper" or gets the pulse pounding harder than a white bike--it looks slow just standing still. (And together with the gold rims, it looks like a rapper's mouth.) And yes, nothing is uglier than useful braze-ons (as Dave Moulton will tell you). This kind of studiously detached prose is exactly the kind of copy Specialized should have used for the New York Langster. The seller seems put-upon and exasperated despite the fact that he's trying to sell his bike and can't afford his rent, which makes you want to get to know him and give him money. Best of all is the inclusion of the cat in the photo, which proves that this bike is, quite literally, a pussy magnet.

Bianchi Pista Chrome Large frame Flip hub single speed - $500
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/431970929.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-25, 4:32PM EDT


Perfect condition

Moving Back to San Francisco.

Kai [deleted]

Nothing's more New York than the person who decides to leave town and sell his Pista for just under full MSRP. It's as New York as bagels, pizza by the slice, and rat dander-induced asthma. If "Midnight Cowboy" were made today, Jon Voight would have tried to sell off his Pista on Craigslist just after he got tired of whoring himself and just before he got on the bus to Florida with Dustin Hoffman. If the Langster is ever going to reach Pista status, Specialized is going to have to get with the program. Notice Bianchi doesn't have to resort to cutesy city-themed Pistas--though if they did, I think this one should be the New York edition. With its taped frame, tilted saddle, and intact reflectors, it evokes the naive country boy who has been forced to confront the harsh realities of the big city. They could call it the "Joe Buck."

Peace In Our Time: A Cycling Summit

It hardly needs saying at this point that there’s a lot of internal hostility in the cycling community. And as much as we’d all like for someone to fall from the sky and save us, I think we’ve got to admit that it’s just not going to happen.

Probably the biggest reason for this hostility is the fixed-gear trend. Right now the fixed-gear bicycle combined with the so-called “hipster” is the most vilified combination in bike culture—together they’ve become the Iran of cycling. For this reason, I think cycling should have a summit meeting. I’m imagining something between a UN General Assembly debate and a mafia-style sit-down. At this meeting will be present representatives from the Five Families of Cycling: Roadies, Mountain Bikers, Messengers, Fixed-Gear Riders, and Commuters. I think with a few simple resolutions and trade-offs among these groups we can alleviate a lot of this tension and resentment, and get back to the business of riding.

(I know, “So what about Cyclocrossers? Or Trackies? or Tourists?" For the purposes of what we’re setting out to accomplish here, they don’t need to be present. As largely self-sustaining subcultures, they can continue to geek out in their little bubbles for now.)

Item I:

Nomenclature

As irritating as some of the new breed of fixed-gear bicycles and riders can be, I think the problem is largely one of nomenclature. In particular, I think the fact that many of these riders still refer to their bicycles as “track bikes” and say that they “ride track” is the reason other cyclists resent them. There is nothing “track” about a bike with riser bars and a top tube pad, for example, nor is there anything “track” about riding in tight jeans and a flat-brim baseball cap. Furthermore, many of these riders use their bikes primarily for doing stunts and skids, and have no intention of racing them on the track at all. It’s this contradiction in terminology that’s making so many people angry.

So I move that the fixed-gear riders agree to permanently expunge the word “track” from all references to their bicycles and riding style. Since their bikes are essentially fixed-gear BMX freestyle bikes, I suggest they call them “fixed-gear freestylers,” or something to that effect. After all, you don’t hear people complaining about BMXers, and that’s because they don’t go around calling their bikes something they’re not.

(A pink and black fixed-gear freestyler...now isn't that better?)

(It's just a Hutch Trickstar with bigger wheels...nothing to get angry about!)

Item II

Wheel Size

In many ways, fixed-gear freestyle equipment has not yet caught up with the style of riding. Because of the incorrect use of the word “track,” manufacturers are still speccing these bikes with inappropriate components like 700c wheels. The reality is that there’s no reason for them to be using wheels this big. These bikes are ridden for short distances only, and smaller wheels would be better for the stunt riding they’re doing. (Some of these riders are already using 650c/26" wheels on the front anyway.)

Meanwhile, mountain bikes seem to be moving to the 29er (700c) wheel size. This is why a mountain bike representative needs to be at the summit. I’d like the fixed-gear freestylers and the mountain bikers to agree to a wheel-size exchange. The fixed-gear freestylers will take the 26" wheels, which seem to be falling out of favor with mountain bikers anyway, and the mountain bikers will take the 700cs. (This has the added benefit of making fixed-gear freestylers look even less like track bikes.)

Item III

Maintaining Standards

On the surface, roadies and messengers are very different. Roadies are fastidiously clean; messengers are inevitably grimy. Roadies get as far away from the city as they can in order to traverse hill and dale; messengers spend their days and nights in the urban jungle. Roadies wish they were paid to ride; messengers are actually paid to ride.

What both groups have in common though is a long, inscrutable list of rules and criteria which one must follow and fit in order to belong. In the roadie world, something as esoteric as wearing the wrong length sock can be enough to get you banished forever. In the messenger world, simply having the audacity to use a messenger bag or attempt a track stand without being a bona-fide courier is sufficient to make you the object of scorn.

Shouldn’t both of these groups loosen up a bit and become more accommodating? Absolutely not! As cycling’s ultra-orthodox it’s crucial they continue to bear their rigorous standards with borderline psychotic devotion. They are the sun and moon of the cycling firmament, and if either wavers at all in their steadfastness the Earth will be plunged into chaos. This is why, at the summit, I suggest they sign a Joint Pact of Self-Righteousness, and commit once and for all to maintain their rigorous standards and bloated sense of self-importance forever. It is a crucial stabilizing force.

Item IV

Commuting

Whether you’re a road racer-slash-commuter, a mountain biker-slash-commuter, a fixed gear freestyler-slash-commuter, or just a plain commuter, you must agree to obey one simple rule: do not race people on your commute. Whether you’re a roadie on a Madone or a guy in khakis and a polo shirt on a hybrid, you look equally stupid trying to drop somebody on the Brooklyn bridge.


That's it--it's that simple. If we can adopt these four simple articles, I think the cycling world will be a better place.

Velo Darwinism: The Evolution of the Top Tube Pad

Yesterday's post prompted a number of comments about top tube pads. Along with the front Aerospoke, the top tube pad has come to symbolize the more vain aspects of the fixed-gear trend. So much so, in fact, that there is now a backlash, as evidenced by this listserv post which was forwarded to me by a reader recently:


Someone put a cigarette butt out on my frame pad.


Last night at BAR. I hope for the sake of New Haven's burgeoning and welcoming "cycling community",that this wasn't an act performed by someone I know. Because I have to look down at that whenever I'm riding now, and know that someone in this world is a selfish dick who isn't down with OPP. However, when you see people fucking with other people's shit as a joke, and then your shit gets fucked with, the pranksters are the easiest and first to blame.


While such a backlash is inevitable, acts of top tube pad violence are totally inexcusable. Before hating, I think it's important we try to understand the origins of the top tube pad, as well as its functions. Based on feedback from readers over the past few months, it would seem the main purposes behind the top tube pad are as follows:


--Protects the frame when locking bicycle to a pole
--Protects the top tube from getting dinged by handlebars (in the same manner as, though distinct from, a top tube protector)
--Protects the groin and inner thigh when skidding
--Protects the frame when resting mallet on it during bike polo matches
--Is aesthetically pleasing to certain people


Okay. But where did top tube pads start, and how did they go from being functional add-ons to being accessories? Admittedly, I still have a lot to learn, but here's what I've uncovered so far. Any feedback is welcome and appreciated.



The obvious common ancestor of the top tube pad as we know it and hate it is the BMX pad. Rules required that top tubes, stems, and handlebars had to be padded during races, presumably so that young racers would one day grow up and be able to reproduce. In this prescient photo, however, only the top tube is padded.




The top tube pad proved to be quite adaptable, and was able to evolve to accommodate a number of unorthodox frame designs. It is most likely this adaptability which made its longevity as a species possible, and which is why it is still so common today.




But what about the crucial leap from BMXs to adult bikes, and particularly fixed-gears? It has been suggested that today's top tube pad has its origins in the messenger community. Messengers have always wrapped their frames in inner-tubes or tape to both protect them and disguise their manufacturers. But was it a messenger who first made this leap from wrapping to padding?


This amazing photo, which I uncovered while Googling in a pith helmet, could very well be the missing link between BMX top tube pads and adult top tube pads. The neon knickers and jacket, mullet, and aero water bottle indicate that this man lived sometime during the late 1980s or early 1990s. And if you'll look closely, you'll see that the top tube is either wrapped or padded, though it is difficult to tell exactly which. The downtube, however, remains bare.

It should be noted though that there are also some things about this photo which indicate it may be a hoax. For example, why would a messenger choose road shoes and pedals? And aren't the Campy components a bit lavish for a work bike? Scholars will no doubt debate the validity of this photo for years to come. Some day, maybe we'll know for sure whether this is in fact Lucy, or Piltdown Man.




Regardless, at some point somebody made the decision to use a top tube pad on an adult bike. But was it a messenger? This photo indicates it was. The pad is clearly a BMX top tube pad (as evidenced by its length) that has been retrofitted to an adult bike. And the Wings of Hermes would imply that this bicycle belongs to a messenger. However, there is the question of the date. While the Rolls is an older saddle, the "One More Bike" sticker is an evolution of the "One Less Car" sticker, indicating the vintage of the bike may be more recent. Still, the value of the photograph is indisputable--somewhere, at some point, a messenger decided to use a BMX pad on his or her bike.

But when did people start manufacturing and selling top tube pads for adult use? A commenter yesterday claims that "the first TTp i ever saw was fashioned by Cory Bennion of DANK bags in Seattle....i am gonna say it was at least in 2000." She further elaborated that the top tube pad not only protects the bike, but is useful in cyclocross as well to protect the shoulder. This is interesting. Did the first purpose-built adult top tube pad originate in the Pacific Northwest? Was cyclocross somehow involved? And does it relate in any way to these weird cyclocross shoulder slings I always see on eBay, though I've never actually seen one being used in cyclocross? Or is the shoulder sling simply a mutant, an evolutionary eddy that leads nowhere? Like so many questions concerning top tube pads, we may never have an answer.

But one thing is certain. Top tube pads became fashionable. The famous Cyndi Lauper bike gives every indication that the owner chose the top tube pad as much for aesthetic reasons as for practical purposes. And its reasonable to surmise that this fashion came from the messenger community, as the popularity of messenger bags, fixed-gears, and front Aerospokes owes much to them. Therefore it stands to reason the top tube pad would come to be similarly embraced--and embellished--as well.

And evidence remains that they continue to be employed by messengers. The STI lever shape and outboard bearing crank place this messenger squarely in our present day.

(At least, I think it's a messenger. So hard to tell these days...)

And what of tomorrow? Well, this new offering from Felt, as seen at Interbike, should help provide an answer. (Thanks to the reader who forwarded this.) Like the BMX pads of yesteryear, they will now be sold as integral parts of the bike. We have come, for better or for worse, full circle.