RTMS to Tan Tenovo

So not only am I still on the radio, but I officially* have the #1 bicycle-themed show in New York City in the coveted 10am Monday time slot!

*[Disclaimer: when I say "officially" I mean I've decided this must be true.]

Furthermore, I've asked WBAI to make it available as a podcast, but until that happens all shows are archived on their website, and you can also listen to this morning's episode right here.

Thank you for bearing with me while I explore the antiquated medium that is terrestrial radio, because blogs weren't outdated enough.

Speaking of this blog, obviously Rip Torn (or, more accurately, his mugshot) emerged as sort of an unofficial logo for it during its heyday:

Here's the story of how that happened.

Anyway, owing to this association, a number of people were compelled to notify me through various channels of Rip Torn's recent passing, even though it's 2019, we all have phones now, and on top of that I spend a lot of time on Twitter, which means I find out when famous people die immediately, just like you do.  Still, I can't deny that his death does represent the end of an era as far as this blog is concerned, even if I did think he was already dead, which I suppose also says a lot in and of itself.  Indeed, it was on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 that I hit the "publish" button on my very first blog post, and here we are 12 years later, my posts serving now largely to point you towards my other outlets, including my Outside column, and the Bike Forecast, and of course now my radio show.  All of this is to say that in the wake of Rip Torn's death I did take a moment or two to reflect on the fact that I arrived upon the scene an upstart anonymous bike blogger with a cutting sense of humor, and I'm now an an overexposed bloviator who halfheartedly entertains the anecdotes of people who call into radio shows and who can't even get upset about people who salmon in the bike lane anymore.  (I really can't.)

In other words I couldn't be happier with the way things have turned out.

Speaking of my erstwhile sobriquet (that being RTMS, or "Rip Torn's Mug Shot,") not too long ago it gave way to "Tan Tenovo," which of course refers to the unintentionally comic rendering of my bike's make and model on ticket I got while riding my erstwhile Renovo over a year ago:

Well, I pleaded guilty to the alleged offense, and it now occurs to you that I'm remiss in reporting to you that on Friday, July 5th I appeared in traffic court on Fordham Road in the Bronx to mount my defense.  Given that this was right in the middle of a long holiday weekend I admit I had hopes that the ticketing officer would be a no-show, but show he did, and presumably everyone there in the courtroom had felt the sting of his ticket-writing pen.  (I'm assuming I was the only cyclist there, but I don't know for sure, since I was the second person called and I left immediately after the proceedings, as you will soon read.)

After the judge dismissed the first defendant's case due to what seemed to be sloppy note-taking on the part of the officer, he then called me to the stand.  Haltingly, the officer read from his notes, explaining that he had been driving behind a motorist (he kept calling me "motorist") who did not stop for a red signal.  So he stopped said motorist-er, cyclist-in a safe location and duly summonsed him. 

Now, I should point out that I have no recollection of what color the light was, for the simple reason that I didn't look.  I was fresh off of negotiating a very tricky stretch of road, and I was almost home, and as I approached the intersection in question my priorities were as follows:

• Get home safely
• Not inconvenience any pedestrians
• Get home safely

In light of this, as I approached the intersection in question, I saw there were no pedestrians in or near the crosswalk, nor were there any motor vehicles approaching.  And so I made a right turn--on what, according to the officer, was a red light.

That's when I heard the blip of sirens, and next thing I knew I was proffering my ID.

Anyway, as the officer recounted this, I realized I didn't have much of a defense, since if he had in fact been right behind me I couldn't very well claim he didn't see what color the light was.  Therefore, when it came my turn to question the officer, out of pure desperation I opened up a line of interrogation about the configuration of the street.  Specifically, the officer could not say whether there was or wasn't a bike lane on the street on which I was riding (there was), which confirmed my own suspicion that the NYPD are physically unable to see bike lanes, and which would explain why the precinct in which I was ticketed has issued zero (0) tickets for parking in bike lanes since 2018.  I then introduced a new line of questioning about why he didn't use his siren to go through the red light I had supposedly run, but the judge was unmoved--in fact, more than that, he was annoyed.  Swiftly, he found me guilty, and ultimately I alighted back onto Fordham Road $190 poorer.

On the way home, it occurred to me that losing in traffic court is almost exactly like getting dropped from a bike race: you feel embarrassed, you're out a bunch of money, and you keep going over what you might have done differently.  In any case, in retrospect it was all worth it just to hear the officer testify in court that I had been riding a Tan Tenovo bicycle, which gave me a secret little thrill.

Moving on, this weekend I got to spend a little more time on the Jones LWB Plus Complete:

As I mentioned back on July 4th, I'd been forming the impression that the LWB is sort of the galloping horse to the SWB's wild boar, and my last ride only reinforced this notion.  While I was less inclined to change lines on the LWB, there was also less need to do so, since it rolls so easily over roots and rocks.  And inasmuch as I'm a two-wheels-on-the-ground rider more than I am a throw-the-bike-around rider (or, if you want to get technical, a "woosie") I'd say at this point I'm partial to the LWB. 

Then again, I'm the guy who's been commuting on a State Core millennial special:

Call it a midlife crisis, but I've been enjoying this bike (except for the Vans grips, which feel like someone standing on your hands while wearing a pair of vans), and I'm also still pleased with the Two Wheel Gear briefcase:

I'm pretty sure that every single street in the Bronx is currently being resurfaced, and if this thing can stay securely on the rack through all of that than I suspect it can handle pretty much anything.