Thursday, January 10, 2019

On The Outside Looking In

Here in Canada's barnacle-ridden hull, many of our problems seem to stem from the fact that we're afraid of the wrong things.  Our obsession with guns, walls, and gigantic cars are all by-products of our abiding paranoia.  Meanwhile, we're deathly afraid of doing something as benign as riding a bike:


Cycling's pretty safe to begin with, and by approaching it with common sense we can make it even safer, but instead we poke it with a stick from a distance and never get beyond "WEAR A HELMET OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE."

Speaking of getting comfortable with things, you've probably seen Jeff Jacoby's recent column by now:
I'd never heard of Jacoby before his last anti-bike rant, and it wasn't until now that I dipped into his archives, which revealed that if you're uncomfortable with bikes you're probably uncomfortable with a whole bunch of other stuff too:

Evidently Jacoby is deathly afraid his own "unruly sexuality," and he clearly feels that if not bound by heterosexual wedlock he'd veer off into some lurid pan-sexual fuckfest:
And yes, now you cannot unsee the ghastly image of Jeff Jacoby engaging in a lurid pan-sexual fuckfest:


Now that's something to be afraid of.

37 comments:

Fraser Millar said...

Podily dodilium?

HDEB said...

Jeff Jacoby is an out-of-touch tubby old white man, the world is passing him.

Fredly Adams said...

Podio???

hurryup said...

Win!

Pist Off said...

Bicycles are as unruly and dangerous as men’s sexuality I guess. How do those poor men in non-Judeo-Christian cultures manage to keep their boiling sexuality under control without marriages to keep a lid on it all? I guess marriage is a Western thing, hmm. And wouldn’t same-sex marriage have the same benefits as heterosexual marriage on our culture? Also, how does this pencildick get a regular column? Boston has a lot to answer for. “For proof, just look around.”

Anonymous said...

It really must be hard being on the other side of the windshield- too bad we all feel that way. Lovely out here, even in the dark.

pbateman wants a bullmoose and bullmooseknuckle said...

i managed a decent ride yesterday, most of which was on trails.

i do now realize i would be better of with some flat-ish bars and little thumb-y type shifters.

trying to find a nifty old bullmoose style bar with integrated quill.

1" is back in style. however, the standard headtube for your mother is at least 6"

I did more research on the Tour de Islay and Whiskey - apparently its never warm there. at least not by Florida Man standards. July and August have HIGHS in the mid-60s. Its down into the 60's here today and I think I may die.

8carlisle said...

Just this week a couple of kids were leaving their driveway to go for a bike ride when one gets clipped by a truck (driver stayed at the scene). One kid did not make it and the article mentions him wearing a helmet. We are brought up spending much time in the comfort of cars and their convenience, and parents probably do not emphasize how dangerous they are but instead just make sure kids wear a helmet and send them on their way.

bad boy of the south said...

Good Outtie article. Think of FDR's saying about fear.
By the way,there is a postmaster of fate,but you have to travel to Fate,TX.

Russell Miller said...

Jeff Jacoby is a total dick.

dnk said...

Guns, walls, and gigantic cars have replaced baseball, mom, & apple pie.

Anonymous said...

I see that ALL the Dutch have died because they do not find the need to mess their hair with plastic hats.

Errrr, breaking news, "Hardly any Dutch cyclists have died whilst on their bikes and most of the Dutch are cyclists!"

Anonymous said...

hey pbateman, would this work?

https://www.rivbike.com/products/nitto-bullmoose-bar-dull-bright-fillet-brazed-150mm-16194

Unknown said...

If the percentage of people commuting is down; wouldn't the percentage of cyclists also drop? All depends on what you choose to include in your denominator.

Billy said...

The Boston Cyclists Union was much nicer to ol' Jeff than they should have been.

https://bostoncyclistsunion.org/bike-lane-fever-isnt-breaking-despite-globe-columnists-claims

Tooch said...

So Jeff Jacoby used articles by 'Environmentalist' Lawrence Solomon as the authority behind his opinions. Solomon is a climate change denier, and it looks like he's painting cyclist with the same brush. From Wikipedia..."Founder Lawrence Solomon was a speaker at the conservative and libertarian public policy think tank The Heartland Institute's 2009 International Conference on Climate Change.[20] The Heartland Institute holds similarly skeptical views about man-made climate change and related global warming, stating that the claims that global warming is a crisis are unscientific and delusional."

Tooch said...

Jeff Jacoby used 'Environmentalist' Lawrence Solomon as his primary source for the appropriateness of cycling. But Solomon really isn't an outdoorsy kind of guy. Wikipedia has "Lawrence Solomon was a speaker at the conservative and libertarian public policy think tank The Heartland Institute's 2009 International Conference on Climate Change.[20] The Heartland Institute holds similarly skeptical views about man-made climate change and related global warming, stating that the claims that global warming is a crisis are unscientific and delusional" and "Lawrence Solomon published a series of columns and a book in 2008 titled "The Deniers: The World Renowned Scientists Who Stood Up Against Global Warming Hysteria, Political Persecution, and Fraud" naming 37 climate scientists and authors as "climate change skeptics" or "climate deniers". Several of these scientists and authors published their rejection of this characterization of their views, among them Sami Solanki of the Max Planck Institute,[17] Nigel Weiss of the University of Cambridge,[18] and Carl Wunsch of the Massachusetts Institute of Technolog"

pbateman cant afford all the nice things said...

hey Anon,

yes, those will work and i stalk the Riv site for ideas often, but alas, Pbate spent all his money on things like Dura Ace pieces for a still incomplete yellow bike, a new AR15, a new camera, Scotch, paying for service rendered by your mom etc... so i was hoping to find a knock off or old version on an auction site.

i like the jones bars too, but don't want to totally copy the Snob, especially given his sometimes questionable style choices.

Sam said...

A few years ago I picked up a life insurance policy. They asked several questions as part of the application process. Among them, whether I ride a bicycle (helmet or not) was conspicuously absent.

If the people who are professionally betting thousands on me not kicking the bucket anytime soon don't think it's dangerous enough to mention, I'm inclined to believe them.

janinedm said...

That Boston Globe guy just feels discriminated against because they don't make helmets for cubed heads.

leroy said...

Ugh. Intimations of Mr. Jacoby's feral sexuality.

Now I know why my dog is hiding under the bed.

He said he was participating in the dust bunnies' cribbage tournament, but I know that's an invitational like the TdF and I haven't gotten my invitation yet.

Pist Off said...

From experience (I’ve a Scottish wife) you cannot count on being dry or warm at any time in Scotland. That’s why whisky exists. May and early June is usually dry...er? The western islands are even more of all that weather. Islay and Skye are incredible, go if you can. There’s the Dramathon Speyside whisky marathon every October so Snob could still get his penance running miles in.

Anonymous said...

pbateman -

not local to you, but...

https://vancouver.craigslist.org/van/bop/d/vancouver-vintage-bullmoose-handlebar/6789804162.html

mom say's you still owe her $20

1904 Cadardi said...

As usual Tan Wildcat, pretty much bang-on for all points.

But I especially like this one "Plus, there’s arguably more glory in turning yourself inside out on the climb and then descending conservatively than vice versa." I think it's interesting that the riders that bomb descents are usually the ones that got dropped on the climb.

JLRB said...

60 year old TV show predicted the future:
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/1958-show-trump-sells-wall-to-townspeople

Too weird. But apparently fact-checked:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trackdown-trump-character-wall/

No longer meteors, now its scary people with big vehicles

janinedm said...

anon3:18, how can your mom not know together the money up front?

Anonymous said...

Jacoffy is like one of those people who notices it's 25 degrees out and is like "See I told you there's no such thing as global warming!"

Andy said...

Can somebody run Jeff Jacoby's face past this program?

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2189683-ai-can-identify-rare-genetic-disorders-by-the-shape-of-someones-face/

He's got something.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bike Snob,

This article in WSJ is really funny. I especially like one of the comments where a LanceWannabe lectures about how cheating on Starva means you are a dishonest lowlife - sweet irony that the LanceWannabe is too dumb to realize that the entire point of "cheating" on Starva is to make LanceWannabes whine and cry about their stupid app!

https://www.wsj.com/articles/ready-set-cheat-electric-bikers-zoom-past-mad-pedalers-on-cycling-app-11546621210?mod=searchresults&page=1&pos=2

Rudolph the Red said...

Feeble physique, feeble mind

der blaue Reiter said...

Thanks Billy for pointing out the great rebuttal to the awful editorial... Fast and loose sounds like his prefered style so i guess all the cherry-picked or straight misleading “facts” he throws around shouldn’t come as a surprise.

George Krpan said...

Bike Snob, I'm not sure that you are aware how the deep state uses the issue of homosexuality to divide and conquer. Same with racism and feminism. United we stand, don't be a useful idiot.

Arne Buck said...

Becca Wolfson of the Boston Cyclists Union (yes, I'm a card-carrying member) wrote a fine refutation of Jacoby's screed. His latest is not out of character for this clown. As usual he lies. Sophistry is the technique he uses most often. Wednesday's 9 January 2019 op-ed is no exception.

And I bike year-round in and around Boston, Massachusetts--done so for decades. Boston's bike infrastructure is improving yearly. Methinks NYC has done a much better job to date. I do enjoy riding NYC. It's the fastest way to get to mid-town from downtown. Not to mention GWB to downtown. Perhaps I'll volunteer again this year for the Five Boro Tour.

https://bostoncyclistsunion.org/bike-lane-fever-isnt-breaking-despite-globe-columnists-claims

Anonymous said...

Only a bigot would accuse someone of linking pan-sexual fuckfests with being gay. Or ... something.

Anonymous said...

'pansexual fuckfest' is my new band's name.

huskerdont said...

"For proof, just look around." Well. Dude looks like Jaws from the older James Bond movies--not that there's anything wrong with that. Ima not read his articles.

If it's not Scottish, it's crap.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Jaooby has also opposed HOV lanes in Boston because they infringe on the freedom of those who wish to drive alone who should not be forced to go slower than the vehicles with multiple passengers. He is an odd man.