Wednesday, May 30, 2018

This Just In: App-ropos of Nothing...

...there's a new TransAlt app featuring the Bike Forecast!


It's free, it's available on both the App Store and Google Play, and best of all it's free at no cost to you!

Plus, you can send in tips:


Ticket sting?  Sinkhole?  Freshly dumped, still-perfectly-edible produce in the dumpster by the Whole Foods?  Let your fellow cyclists know and you will be richly rewarded in the afterlife!*

*[Hateful Ambien-induced tips will be subject to censure and/or series cancellation as applicable.]

Yes, thanks to this app, TransAlt is now the most technologically advanced advocacy group on the face of the planet earth, and just wait until we drop the new virtual reality system that lets you ride under the illusion that there's a protected bike lane on every street:


(Virtu-Smug being beta-tested indoors at TransAlt HQ.)

What an exciting time to be alive!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ain't got a modren enough phone for apps...

hey nonny mouse

leroy said...

But can you post a comment on the Bike Forecast through the TA app?

Asking for a friend...

who may be slipping Ambien in my Ovaltine.

Anonymous said...

pod ee yum

Watch and Camera Guy said...

Podium?

George Soros said...

CONS PRCY

Anonymous said...

TRANS AMERICA BIKE RACE STARTS THIS SATURDAY IN ASTORIA, OR.

4300 MILES OF SINGLE UNSUPPORTED RACING

http://transambikerace.com

pbateman gold plated everything said...

its rainy season officially here in america's rather ample wang, and i wouldn't mind having that silly virtual trainer thingy.

can it virtually be programmed to put shiny campy stuff on all my bikes? like that obnoxious black and gold group(o) that would be Cipo approved? i want the virtual people on the virtual sidewalks to stop and gasp at my big black and gold crank.

HDEB said...

Bicycle riding outdoors sux ; )

ken e. said...

not up to this level of comedy!

Drock said...

Tried uploading faster softerware to the downtube bb assist motor but was denied and I had to do all the pedaling myself. Someone also yelled put some gas in it.

bad boy of the south said...

wonder how the transalt app would work for me,now that we're living near raleigh rather than nyc.
what the he-double hockey sticks,i'll give it a shot.
the vegetables in the food lion dumpster tip,i don't know if it would be worth the trip for y'all.

JLRB said...

Not one, but two flats for yesterday evenings self-propelled travel fro' work.

Yes, yes, of course the second one was likely due to haste in fixing the first but no one likes a scold.

Anonymous said...

I am virtually impressed, meaning not. Phones is for phoning, thankfully nobody knows my number so I can live in peace.

I am with mouse at the top on podium.

when good nutjobs go bad said...

I wanna know what drug caused Roseanne to grab her crotch while murdering the national anthem at a sporting event all those years ago?

She rose inestimably in my estimation after that, and while her current breach is probably unforgivable, let's remember she wasn't always bad.

Anonymous said...

Time to update your web address to Bikesnobnyc511.org

Anonymous said...

I shit you not, I made a Bret app. Using a program designed to teach high-schoolers, but still. He crosses the screen casually and bounces off the borders. You can grab him and send him in another direction. Or if you fling him, you hear "WOOO, HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!" and he goes crazy allovadaplace and ends up at some random point in time (as illustrated by the background image which includes a 7-segment LED display showing what year it is).

The Boogieman said...

—I’m coming out.

McFly said...

I accidently took 2 Ambien one day at work mistakenly thinking they were Ultram.

I didn't like that job anyway.

BPsucks said...

Ahaha, virtu-smug. Made my morning