Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Naughty Fred: Being Bad Never Felt So Good

As you're no doubt tired of hearing by now, I've made a New Year's resolution to only ride Ol' Piney in 2018:


Of course, because I'm a semi-professional bike blogger (and also because I'm full of it), in making the resolution I allowed myself to ride test bikes--such as this exotic wooden Fred Sled:


(YES THE GODDAMN BRAKE PADS ARE TOED IN)

Nevertheless, it was only a matter of time before I cracked like a counterfeit Specialized:



And if you suspected I wouldn't make it through January without dipping into my vast bike supply then you were correct, because yesterday I went for a ride on the Ritte Rust Bucket:


Doing so felt really good for two reasons:

A) I felt delightfully naughty, like a kid sneaking bacon in Hebrew school;

2) Unlike the Renovo it's my bike, dammit!

Indeed, with regard to that second reason, I'm tempted to say it was like slipping on a pair of old blue jeans.  However, I'm loath to use such a cliché, so instead I'll say it was like slipping on a pair of old underpants--but clean ones, and with plenty of life left in the elastic.  See, as fun as it is to ride a fancy road bike with push-button shifting (and it is fun, that Renovo is a blast) there's nothing like going back to a bicycle you've been breaking in for years.  No smooth, unwrapped crabon bar tops here, just the reassuring roundness of aluminum tubes wrapped in worn tape.

Even the mechanical shifting was a pleasure:

(Rivendell's new mechanical shifting group.)

To be honest, I've been finding myself liking this Di2 stuff more and more, and on my last ride with it I even caught myself wondering if I could ever go back to analog.  Well, I'm pleased to report that I can go back, and as addicting as it is to shift with a tap of the button and a little "zewp" sound, the moving of an actual lever followed by the "gerthunk" of the chain finding its cog remains both satisfying and timeless. 

Also, while the Renovo is an absolute joy to ride, adn while it put me back in touch with my inner Fred, I have to say it felt really good to get back onto a scuzzy bike again:


In fact the desire to ride a scuzzy road bike is ultimately what did me in.  See, this is what it was like yesterday:


And even though I don't want to coddle or spoil the Renovo I also didn't particularly feel like riding a bike with crabon rims, 23mm tires, and tight clearances in those conditions.  (It's just not a confidence-inspiring combination in foul weather.)  As for Ol' Piney, it was too warm and sloppy to ride offroad, and as for riding it on the road...well, you know, I'd have to ride it like this:


Ugh.

Plus I still haven't fixed that broken spoke:


Meanwhile, there's the trusty old Rust Bucket with it's metal wheels and slightly wider tires just waiting to be ridden, and all that stands between me and a brisk jaunt down to Central Park is slapping on those quickie fenders.

So I did it, and I regret nothing--well, almost nothing, since I did manage to slip and fall on some wet wood:


You know those falls where your front wheel goes out from under you and the bike just slams you to the ground in a way that only skinny-tired bikes with drop bars can?

It was one of those.

And look, you can see exactly the path my ass took when I wiped out:


If you think about it, it's ironic that in avoiding the wood bike in favor of something more surefooted I ended up getting taken out by some wood.

Of course, as per the terms of my resolution, I must now run three (3) miles to atone for my transgression.  However, my ass hurts now and I don't know if I can.  Riding, however, is not a problem, and at this rate I can see myself digging a marathon-sized hole for myself in a matter of weeks.

What I'm saying is I've made a huge mistake.

Anyway, despite all this I do still plan to make good see all this through...at least until such time as I come up with a decent excuse for bailing.

39 comments:

Bryan Bracy said...

Podiums for everyone

leroy said...

Sounds like you were a little rusty.

Bryan Bracy said...

Whoa, watch the counterfeit Specialized comments. The Schmenge had 5k miles on it when I let it go.

Alex Marshall said...

bronze

nahmean said...

According to your own made-up rules, can you like, run six miles and having a cheat ride in the bank for next time? Concentrate the running sessions into fewer, longer ones and get them out of the way... ah, who am I kidding, I just like running as well as riding.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Gonna try to cameraFred the FullyBloodyEclipsyBluey Moon this evening.

I need cold weather gear like humblebrag MN guy.

vsk

JLRB said...

I am so very dissapopinted

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podium?

Happiest of Tu B'Shevat to each and every one of you...

Ahhhh said...

I've nothing to say today that is of any consequence.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Wishiwasmerckx,

Do you just make up these zany-sounding holidays?

nahmean,

No, as per the terms of my resolution I can't credit past runs for future violations. I also like running once I get into it but I have a hard time getting myself started. It's a cold pool type thing for me.

--Wildcat Etc.

HDEB said...

Silly drop bars ; )

Buffalo Bill said...

Wow, almost a full month before breaking the resolution? That's about two weeks longer than I would have made it, congrats!

Pist Off said...

HANDMADE PORTLAND, OR what? I hate sentences that leave me hanging

Anonymous said...

lasted as long as your average Juiceless January resolution. I personally set the bar low and then walk around it.

Mayhem said...

I made a resolution to NEVER make any more resolutions many years ago and am still at it, well except for the anti-resolution resolution.....nevermind. Your fall seemed more karmic than ironic, though I think it wasn't so much about about breaking a resolution, as making one in the first place.

Knüt Fredriksson said...

I hearby pledge, as a tribute to our fearless leader, to only ride my commuter bike in 2018.
Unless I'm not commuting, then I'll ride my road bike.
Unless I'm not riding on the road, then I'll ride my mountain bike.
And I reserve the right to ride my wife's bike, my oldest daughter's bike or my unicycle if the mood strikes me.
Oh, and I get to test ride anything cool that I see in Craigslist.

This I solemnly swear...

Mean Gene said...

"wet wood" <-- heh heh...

Anonymous said...

that specialized frame looks like the "rs" model at first glance.

FR8 said...

How long has that piece of wood been there? I remeber sliding over it about three years ago.

Hee Haw the barista said...

WOOD WIPE

BikeSnobNYC said...

FR*,

It feels like it's always been there.

--Wildcat Etc.

JLRB said...

BROK SPOK

Anonymous said...

Why do people toe in their brakes anyway? I always felt squealing brakes is a feature in NYC. Of course, none of that matters now that we've thrown our rim brakes in the trash.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Surely you jest, Rabbi Weiss.

"Tu Bishvat or the “birthday” of all fruit trees, is a minor festival. The name is Hebrew for the 15th of the Hebrew month of Shevat.

In ancient times, Tu Bishvat was merely a date on the calendar that helped Jewish farmers establish exactly when they should bring their fourth-year produce of fruit from recently planted trees to the Temple as first-fruit offerings."

Today you should tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree, then have some birthday cake.

wishiwasmerckx said...

See you and the 17 kids at the Purim festivities at the end of February.

I'll bring the Hamantaschen.

Anonymous said...

Bad Fred Bad Fred, whacha gonna do, whacha gonna do when your run is due?

Anonymous said...

Trash the resolution entirely, Snobby. It was such a vicarious joy seeing the righteous Ritte again.

Besides, I thought you cleverly said something like; if you break the resolution you'd do that horrid jogging thing OR get rid of one bike at the end of the year? I suspect you own more than just the half-dozen or so bikes you let us see so you may possess a real POS you'd be pleased to disencumber yourself of? If not, just salvage something off the side of the road and make a big show of remorsefully relieving yourself of it.

Meanwhile, if you wanna show some real penance: CLEAN THAT FUCKEN RUST OFF THE SACRED RITTE! How can you dishonour such a beautiful thing?

Dirk Montero said...

Damn, Wildcat; weren't we just discussing the solemn religiosity of your self-imposed restrictions the other day? Didn't a more-knowledgeable-than-myself-about-these-things fellow commenter recommend you at least set up some sort of exclusionary zone? You broke the resolution, and the retribution of the Bike Gods was swift and unambiguous! (I must admit I am surprised to find out the Bike Gods are rather Old Testament about these things; I would have expected more of a singing nun approach...) As one of your volunteer (and frankly unsolicited, except for the fact that you chose to allow comments in the first place!) advisors on these matters, I hereby expand my earlier suggestion that you procure a set of 26" rims and find the biggest knobbies that will fit for your off-road excursions (Ranger 3.0 springs to mind), find some big slicks for your 27.5" wheels (I am a fan of Supermotos, myself), and don't bother with the silly narrow 29" tires. Jan the Wise has shown us they are of no benefit. If you had merely done this instead of given into the momentary metallic temptations of bike adultery, your fall would surely never have happened. Not because of the wider tires, necessarily - I think you go down on wet wood either way barring the Bike Gods smiling upon you.

Always happy to preach about something or other,

Dirk

Anonymous said...

So you have Ol’ Piney; the Luxury Lumber loaner; and now a cargo bike with a big wooden box in front. Since you carry your progeny in the two-wheeled station wagon, should we refer to it as your Woodie?

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with the Ritte that some naval jelly and a little elbow grease can't fix.

Follow up with a thin coat of lemon oil, and that frame will look better than the day you took delivery of the bike.

Pist Off said...

One vote for eternal Ritte rust: it looks cool, it’s harmless, and it annoys Freds. One vote against wheel size wars: all the sizes roll, I’ve had fun and transport on all sizes, and goddamnit there’s much bigger things to kvetch about now.

LeCashier said...

What no Stormy Daniels mulligan for you?

Bill said...

It's about time you're done with the stupid!

Anonymous said...

Oh! The irony!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXW5F6hzcMQ

JLRB said...

I must say I am disappointed nobody commented about your going down on wet wood, #nothtathtereisanythingwrongwiththat

boys on the hoods said...

"going down on wet wood" and "woodie" in back to back comments. What, am I back in elementary school??

Anonymous said...

Forget trail work, I'd like to raise a posse to tackle that shitty bridge with some tidier repairs. It has really gotten bad in the last year or so.

nscadu 9 said...

DO NOT RUN!!! That would be a huge mistake

nscadu 9 said...

We've all been there. Thinking we can get away with just one bike. Enjoy them all guilt free and whatever you do, do not start running. That would be a huge mistake