Wednesday, September 20, 2017

It's Wednesday And They're Coming For Your Top Tube

Further to Monday's post, here's a fun one:
As we all know, every time a motorist parks a car they're doing something monumentally important.  Indeed, it's a monumental engineering feat as significant as the Moon landing.  The rest of us, however, are merely in the way:


You can guess where this Twitter exchange went next.

Yes, thanks to the post-Apatow "inside the tortured soul of a comic" film and TV genre there's a sentiment among even middling comedians now that they're all misunderstood geniuses.  That's why when something they say elicits jeers because it's totally out of touch they deflect any critique with the whole "whiny PC white privilege" thing:
Wow, those two smuggies got under his skin as effortlessly as a puppy burrowing under a blanket.

Of course, in fairness to the comedian, he may have been traumatized by a failed attempt to walk over the Williamsburg Bridge years back:



It was an okay bit until the hackneyed stick-in-the-spoke comment.

Ultimately though, both the bike lane thing and the dooring rant share the same underlying theme (bicycles aside), which is that a lot of people lash out when they've done something wrong because they feel embarrassed.  A greater understanding of this would probably bump this guy's comedy up a notch, but he's been "doing just fine" as it is according to him, and I suppose there is a certain dignity to embracing mediocrity so good luck with that.

In other news, are step-through bikes becoming the new helmet?  Well, maybe, if a Dutch safety foundation has its way:



VVN claims that, based on a Swedish study, women’s bikes are safer because cyclists assume a better posture while riding women’s bikes and they have a lesser chance of getting a serious head injury when they are involved in traffic accidents. Other reasons given by VVN to ban men’s bikes in traffic are “dads giving their kid a ride with their bike” because this “may cause the child to fall off the bike or the bike to fall over as the dad takes a seat.”

Yes, the deadly allure of hitching a ride on a top tube is almost impossible to resist.  Just ask The King of Park Slope:


Okay, fine, neither passenger is actually hitching a ride on the top tube, but I just couldn't resist using the photo again.

Anyway, as the story points out, the whole idea of assigning genders to bicycles based on whether or not they have top tubes is kind of ridiculous:

They have a point; nobody complains about Citibikes and other shared bikes being gender neutral. In fact there is no reason to bring gender into it at all; racing bikes, where every ounce matters, have cross bars because the triangle is the most efficient structural form, and women racers have them. But in the city, a few ounces don’t matter all that much. It’s a design and safety issue, not a gender issue, when it comes right down to it. And thanks to the bike share systems, I don’t think any male rider is actually embarrassed by riding a bike without a crossbar.

Though I would argue that there are some riders who should be embarrassed to ride a bicycle without one.  Consider the Y-Foil for example:


And while it's debatable as to whether the beam of a Softride counts as a top tube, those too are a source of great shame:


Plus, if you try to give someone a ride on one of those then there's a good chance they'll get catapulted into next week:


So on balance the whole premise is pretty ridiculous, since obviously an upright step-through bike is more practical in a lot of non-sporting applications.  However, I do thing the thing about rider position and injury is an important point nobody seems to make (and hit has nothing to do with whether the bike has a top tube or not).  Consider a rider in this position:


And a rider in this position:


In the event of a crash, who do you think's going down harder?

Still, it's important to keep in mind that this same safety foundation also partnered with Shell on trying to get Dutch people to wear helmets, as someone mentioned in the comments on the article:

(Amusing headline wording courtesy of Google Translate)

Trying to sell the Dutch on helmets makes about as much sense as trying to open a Red Lobster at the Western Wall:


Finally, we all know that cyclists are part of a conspiracy to steal private property from hardworking Americans:



I looked Mitch Henck and was delighted to find that not only is he a radio host, but he's also a stand-up comedian:


Ouch.

Needs more bike material.

50 comments:

wle said...

11:41 AM NO COMMENTS opdium-pay! ob-snay up early ooday-tay!

theEel said...

WEED!

Cyrus Andrews said...

hi guys!

Anonymous said...

The comic has a Rush Limpballs voice...

George Bush said...

Damn straight comedy guy! Only pipelines and freeways should be allowed to condemn private property to build a right of way.

potsy said...

went down the king of parkslope rabbit hole and found this gold...

"This being Park Slope, I imagine they were coming from a party, where both women had a bit too much fine wine, artisanal cheese, and locally-sourced crudités. This made them particularly vulnerable to the man's seductive views about "livable streets," the BP oil spill, and the Elena Kagan Supreme Court confirmation. Then, he uttered the coup de grâce: "My bicycle's parked outside. Do you ladies want to come check out my compost pile? I live next-door to Paul Auster." Once at the brownstone, he dimmed the lights, turned on NPR (NPR is the Park Slope equivalent of Barry White), and they started "gettin' sustainable."

Chazu said...

So I just saw the D Block video from yesterday's entry, and my jaw dropped when I saw him "walking" on the fence while his bike rolled along below him.

I didn't know that was a "thing" (both the waling on the fence, and the jaw literally dropping in amazement)

D Block, if you're reading this... Respect.

Pist Off said...

"Henck" should become a name for something foul, ala Santorum. "Look out for that pile of Henck!" And so forth.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...looks like Mitch needs to do some more walking and beikeen... he can't even keep his pants up in public, furchrissake!

Federico F. Fredriksen said...

Just some background on that bill - this was supposed to be a budget bill, and some unnamed legislator threw a policy line into it saying that private property cannot be condemned to create MUPs or other cycling/pedestrian infrastructure. Condemnation can still be used to force roads through private property, just not for things like connecting bike paths so cycling is a more viable transportation option. Weird how Henck didn't mention that in his rant...

McFly said...

Nice Uni-brow.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Someone should enlighten Mitch that more private land has been condemned and absconded with, and more right of way has been crammed down peoples throats in the name of road construction than any purpose. Ask all those people disowned when Robert Moses raped New York, Westchester and Long Island.

As for Joe DeRosa, He's just an asshole.

Grump said...

Those damn "bike people" should find out where Mitch Henck lives and condemn his property for a Bike Parking lot. Wot an ider.



dancesonpedals said...

You can have my top tube after you pry it from my cold dead scranus.

dancesonpedals said...

and potsy for cod

Anonymous said...

Mitch needs a belt, but they can't find a fat enough cow. maybe I should try comedy.

The top tube is irrelevant said...

The safer bicyclist in the upright position without a helmet is the norm with Bike Share bikes with their "even safer than the Netherlands" statistics despite inferior American infrastructure. And even in the Netherlands there is a much higher percentage of hospital admissions by helmet wearers engaged in more performance style riding.

Anonymous said...

goddamn bro, so you are now filtering the comments. this is Merica, free speech and all that. It's bad enough that I keep failing the I'm not a robot test.

Crosspalms said...

My theory is that those videos were originally shot for blackmail purposes -- give me money or I'll expose you as a not-funny person claiming to be a comedian. Apparently DeRosa and Henck are so sure of their hilarity they refused to pay. And now we all know the truth.

streepo said...

scranus

streepo said...

double scranus

streepo said...

triple scranus

N/A said...

Joe DeRosa is probably the type of sad wanker to Google his name, so I'll say it here:

Joe DeRosa is a Fucko. It's fairly clear that he has some sort of mental defect if he'd wish harm on somebody because he... doesn't want to look where he's going? Bizarre.

bieks said...

My Brompton being the closest I have to a toptubeless bike, it's pretty awesome for mounts/dismounts, but really sucks for standing over your bike - flops over if you take your hands off the handlebar.

Mitch is not even up to loserville standards said...

I live in Madison and I've never heard of Mitch "Dink" Henck and I almost never will. He is way below mediocre. His opinions are stupid, but basically who cares, it is like the meaningless rants of some random shopping cart guy.

Anonymous said...

I thought comedians were supposed to be funny.

Anonymous said...

Mitch's comedy was not nearly as humorous as his two different eyebrow colors

bad boy of the south said...

joe derosa, don't be more funny.and you're not.

1904 Cadardi said...

What do you bet if every time DeRosa parked his car a bike "accidentally" scratched it (possibly in the shape of "Fuck-O") suddenly he might care about looking before opening his door.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

here is joe's email address:
joederosacomedy@gmail.com

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

here is joe's email address:
joederosacomedy@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

DeRosa's problem is his joke is not only offensive, it also doesn't make sense. In not looking out for the bike (or motorcycle for that matter), he's also not looking for the fellow car speeding down the road that's going to take off his door after he thrusts it open. If you're going to try to be funny by being offensive, you must make sense (see G. Carlin).

Anonymous said...

Ouch is right - I walked out before the server brought my drink.

Dooth said...

Joe Derosa makes me laugh...at him.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I went to a topless bar while topless. The bouncer wouldn't let me in... said I had to have a top. What gives?

Anonymous said...

The DeRosa comment was not so bad. what is the point of having rules if they can't be broken. last time i heard of someone jamming a bike's spokes was over 10 years ago and some 10 miles outside the city limits by some mugger. not even sure how true the story is. (opening the car door is not so funny since it happens way too often). like someone commented yesterday, it's important to just get out there and ride.

Ralph Malf said...

Potsy (I think it was "Potsie" in the show...) for C-O-Month! That KOPS reference helps ass-plain how Trump got elected!

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Mixte - frame dilemma solved.

Schwinn made a "girl's" bike that had a detachable gas tank looking thing. Everyone could ride it. The bike could use either bathroom.

As for Joeeey D ... someone should remove the windows from his car.

vsk

LATE STROKE BOB said...

Most comedians are assholes who can't hold a job or pay a bill. Someone might let Mitch know there's a difference between a "developer" procuring property to build a house and an eminent domain process to build a public amenity like a bike path (or a road for that matter.) Lastly think about how the same property owner who howls about losing a strip of his land to eminent domain (and get paid for it of course), gains on the back side when his property value goes up due to its proximity to a desired feature like a bike path.

Andy Coulbeck said...

It's more likely the difference in speed, not the presence or absence of top tube, that matters in an accident.

Schisthead said...

I realize I should be angry or mad at people like Joe and Mitch, but in reality I just pity what must be very angry, empty, and unfulfilling lives, saying ridiculous shit they don't even really understand for attention they don't think they can get any other way.

Am I weird?

Fnarf said...

I started riding a "women's" bike because I am old and have bad hips and knees, and I discovered a side benefit: I hit an unexpectedly wet corner on a hill, and went down - but to my surprise, instead of leaving shreds of clothing and skin all over the pavement, I just stepped out and walked away, without even thinking about it.

Plus it's more dignified in a suit and tie, which I sometimes wear just to scare the hippies I work with.

Joe DeRosa is a knob.

Chicago kennt der blaue Reiter said...

Seeing the King of Park Slope ride again was a highlight for me- good times!

And then the comments on that toptube story are kinda sad, huh? What's with the half-dozen trolls(?) posting crap along the lines of "What feminazi thought THIS up?!?" I mean, nobody responded to any of them, but... seriously? On Treehugger? Sigh.

And for what it's worth, Schisthead, i hear you loud and clear: grateful i didn't need to see the footage left on the cutting room floor: the empty room, dude wheezingly lumbers around to the chair, looks mounfully into the camera, and then coughs once or twice before starting his "editorial"...

der blaue Reiter said...

PS- i just finished reading the newest forecast entry: ah ha ha ha ha! Awesome breakdown, especially the closing thought. "One day..." sheesh! It's a big anniversary for Critical Mass and in Chicago where it never stopped the ride and after-party should be a blast. Safe to say "The Urban Cyclist" won't be there, but a big fun crowd will be!

janinedm said...

Oh, that footage of him in the Halloween tux doing the Chris Farley van-by-the-river pants hike is too sad.

dancesonpedals said...

Maybe de rosa should change his name to specialized if he's going to be such a dick.

BamaPhred said...

Who is Joe De Rosa, why should I care, and what makes him any different than any other uncaring massive flapping asshole?

JLRB said...

Stand-up comedians still exist?

Man Not Funny said...

When it comes to him as a comedian, my reaction is the same as Homer Simpson, "Man fall down, funny".

Bogusboy said...

Don't quit your day job, Mitch.