That means two things:
1) After today's post I won't be updating this blog until Wednesday, July 5th, at which point I will resume regular updates;
B) I may have to take a ride over to Jersey and pick up a bunch of "non-explosive, non-aerial" fireworks.
In the meantime, the Bike Forecast will be updated tomorrow, and if you haven't already you should read today's post about the hot new bike fine in Australia.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's freaking fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see the most humiliating thing an American can ever experience.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to honor America this weekend by taking on an onerous car loan. See you back here on Wednesday the 5th!
Love,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) It's almost like there's a correlation between being a careless driver and running into people.
--True
--False
2) The most recent rider to be caught doping for the Gran Fondo New York finished in what place?
--14th
--114th
--258th
--DNF
3) What piece of equipment is Andrew Talansky using to prepare for the Tour de France?
--A hub that introduces friction to create resistance
--An electric fat-burning belt
--A pair of brain-stimulating headphones
--A scranus-stimulating chamois
4) Who is America's top (road) cyclist?
--Andrew Talansky
--Taylor Phinney
--Coryn Rivera
--Serge Huercio
5) Which is not a term or phrase from VeloNews's review of the Yeti SB5c?
--"noticeable bob"
--"late-stroke buck"
--"mid-stroke feels"
--"turgid shaft"
(Seems worth a shot...)
6) Fill in the blank:
"Move over, blood doping: cyclists might be '_________' soon"
--"brain doping"
--"butt doping"
--"poop doping"
--"ass-motor doping"
--True
--False
***Special Independence Day-Themed Bonus Video!***
What could possibly go wrong?
44 comments:
Podiodio
2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2nd
(wle: also from alabama - expat)
Mounting the flag.
wle, cool.
The experience level of fireworks technicians can be measured in the quantity and severity of missing digits.
The more, the higher level of experience.
Sorta like the logging bidness.
Or in the case of Garden State Fireworks, limbs.
The bandage looked rather recent.
Enjoy!
The most humiliating thing...
Donald Trump in Drag?
Toppus Tennis
Read the post and still in top ten - Happy 4th of July Weekend (Thursday evening, June 29 through late evening July 4th) - Five (5) dayz - count'em!
Please don't lose any digits, Snobby, we need you!
I claim this bike in the name of Spain!
You should warn us when your Bike Forecast is going to be non-kosher, mixing fish and poultry like that.
Ass Motor Doping...yeah, I'm guilty...cost me the gold medal in the '69 Sex Olympiad.
Those look like asparagus binding rubber bands, the bestest quality rubber bands around! No way that can fail.
Butt-doping at the Turdy France.
Huh? What?
Read it, aced the quiz, and still came in 15rd! A Happy and Safe 4th of July to All! Oh, and Scranus!
Not a total loser
Huh. Out here in the Middle West, we call non-explosive fireworks “duds”.
Well,sally forth on the fourth!
241 years ... you had a good run Murica.
so here i was sitting at the PNC park (attending one of the free gigs for old fuck-o(e)s when the army field band went to intermission*. so i naturally opened the phone and came here. and if i could have figured out how to post from my stupid phone i could have snagged yellow. as it is, obviously i'm hours late and haven't even had to guts to tackle the quiznos yet.
* believe or not, they played some rusky stuff (the 1812). i'm pretty sure trump musta made an executive order to do that.
Have a great holiday, and thanks for all the words, Wildcat.
Peak firefly
How do attach a Canadian flag to a bicycle though?
Has the web address "citibankblowsdeadrats.com" been taken?
Asking for a friend..
dop
12 bucks and it's all yours citibankblowsdeadrats.com
If I blood dope with Epo Equine will I finally be hung like a horse?
Yikes, three flat tires yesterday and my wheel's rim tape and tire's steel bead are looking a little suspicious.
Hoofed it home last night to Brooklyn carrying my bike on my shoulder from 1/3 of the way up the Manhattan Bridge.
On the Brooklyn side, right where folks cut the bike path to go down a short hill, there was a sign reading "Free Beer" and there seemed to be a small party on the hill.
I should have stopped in, but wasn't trusting my luck.
Oh well, some days you ride the bike, other days the bike rides you.
Either way, ride safe all. And keep an eye out for free beer.
about to get out. was waiting for the hottest part of the day so i didn't have to layer up. i'll look for some free beer. but i'll look harder for some free scotch.
Leroy, hope you didn't fall for that "FREE BEER TOMORROW" sign scam.
I once went to a bar in Columbus, Ohio for seven straight days before I figured it out.
Then again, I didn't have a canine companion to keep me out of trouble like you do...
wiwm
i see your problem. you never went back tomorrow!
Leroy 104 "there was a sign reading "Free Beer" and there seemed to be a small party on the hill. I should have stopped in, but wasn't trusting my luck."
If only Floyd Landis hadn't stopped at the "Free Jack Daniels" sign.
"Donald Trump in Drag?"
As photographed by Carlos Danger. Full spread to appear in Women's Wear Daily.
Dag Nabbit, tried to attach a flag to my bike. Every time I tried the rubber band broke. Finally notice that one was stamped "Made in the USA". Can't wait until The Donald makes American Rubber Band Manufacturing Great Again!
I'm guessing everyone headed to the beach for the weekend.
I tried the Epo Equine, and now I'm dragging and bragging, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Awrite, shit-birds...let me explain something to you: Tuesday is the birthday of the greatest motoring nation in the history of the world. On this blessed day, you bicycle riding turds need to stay off my highway. Independence Day is a day for Americans and American activities. That, you faux-European shit-sipping ferries, means No Fucken Bikes! So leave those silly little contraptions in the garage and spend the day washing down burnt BBQ chicken with a few dozen flavorless brewskis while shooting bottle-rockets at yer immigrant-looking neighbors. After all, chamois-sniffers, this is yer god-given riesponsibilitu as an American. If yer out riding a bike instead of doing these things then what kind of an asshole are you?
Mr. Ed reminds me of the story of the chicken who fell down the well. Mr. Pig tied a line to a Mercedes and threw it down the well. He ried to drive away, but his feet wouldn't reach the pedals (an allegory of inadequacy). Mr. Horse dropped his dick down the well, and the chicken climbed out. (kinky)
The moral of the story is that you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks if you're hung like a horse.
dop - soon to be an advisor to Mr. T, aka as the President of the United States.
A & C-
The only advice I'd give that fat pussy is to resign.
Look at the size of those vibration waves coming off Ms. Vibrator's tush. Waves far to big to measure on a seismograph. And under her tush it says "Hot". Nuff said.
I'll be glad to give the 37.5 degree technology Men's Wearhouse sweat wicking suit a field test, and I'll even send it back, completely sweat soaked after 30 minutes.
Don't know what to make of Sagan's disqualification. Seems harsh to me.
I studied the tape frame-by-frame, closer than the Zapruder film. Looks to me that Cav tried to go where there was no gap. Cav is leaning into Sagan before Sagan raises his elbow and sends Cav careening off into the barricades, a clear tribute performance to Djamolodin Abdoujaparov on the Champs Elysee.
In NASCAR, they brag "I got up behind him, got him loose and sent him into the wall." That results in ratings, not disqualification.
The race jury, no doubt, did not have any money riding on Sagan to win the green jersey with William Hill.
"I got up behind him, got him loose, and sent him into the wall." Reads like the torrid second chapter of Snob's erotic novel, "Noticeable Bob Late-strokes His Yeti."
WIWM-
I didn't think Cavendish had much room either, but what was the point of putting out an elbow? Reflexive cringing? Tell Cav no, you can't feel my boobs? Put him in the barrier? From overhead, it looks like Cav went where there was no room, but in the head-on view, it looks like he had room before Sagan drifted right, perhaps to pass. Even if Cavendish was being aggressive, it was a dangerous move
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