Wednesday, May 18, 2016

This is not a post, I'm not here until Monday.

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm gone until Monday, so what you're reading isn't a post.  It's just the blogging equivalent of popping back in because I forgot my umbrella.  Except instead of my umbrella what I forgot was to share with you this delightfully smug little piece I wrote for "Reclaim," which is Transportation Alternatives's magazine:



I'm not sure what the smugness equivalent of a "mic drop" is, but it's probably something like tossing your reusable hemp shopping bag over your shoulder, pivoting on your Birkenstocks, and walking briskly away.

And while we're on the subject of my absence, yesterday a commenter commented thusly:

Anonymous said...

It would be nice if these "days off" were scheduled well in advance. As it is, they are just sprung on us last minute, leaving me to believe that the author doesn't care that much about this job. I would have thought he would take a few days off after the Fondon't, to recover, not take days off prior to the event. If you haven't put in the "fitness miles" by now, it too late.

May 17, 2016 at 4:32 PM

What?  I don't care much about this job, really?  I've been curating The World's Greatest Bike Blog for Nine (9) Goddamn Years!  They're going to teach classes about this blog in universities one day.  (That class will be called "Futility in the Digital Age.")  How dare you impugn my commitment to this blog, which has been nothing less than unwavering.  You don't think someone of my tremendous talent and intellect couldn't easily have forsaken this blog years ago for something more remunerative?  I have a BA in English from SUNY Albany, with a minor in Religious Studies!  With credentials like that I could easily drop this whole thing tomorrow and find high-paying work as a neurosurgeon, intergalactic space lawyer, or hedge fund manager.  (Granted, I'm not sure what a hedge fund manager does, but I think it has something to do with landscaping.)  And the idea that a cyclist of my caliber and experience needs this time to put in "fitness miles" for a jaunt I ride regularly is laughable.  LAUGHABLE!  Did it ever occur to you that maybe I need this time?  That maybe as a sophisticated urbanite with a rich and nuanced life I have to attend to something extremely important, even more so than this blog?

I mean I don't, not by a long shot, but that doesn't excuse your impudence.

Speaking of unwavering dedication to your job, the NYPD loves "crackdowns," and the latest one is on drivers who endanger cyclists--and if my commute yesterday is any indication, it involves parking a shitload of police cars in the bike lane all day to write a handful of tickets:


While I'm always pleased to see drivers with Jersey plates getting tickets, I'd also argue blocking a busy bike route (this is right by the Manhattan Bridge entrance, a major bicycle thoroughfare) for a full block might cause more problems than it solves:


The "unintended consequences" effect (or maybe they are intended) was even more pronounced as I made my way home last night, when instead of having to circumvent one douchebag on a heavily-trafficked avenue I had to circumvent said douchebag as well as the police car taking up the entire adjacent lane:


Also the usual NYPD bike lane blocking seems to remain in effect despite the crackdown, particularly in the bike lane in Union Square East, where a police car has been stationed since roughly the invention of the velocipede.

Of course common sense would dictate that the NYPD might consider conducting this crackdown on foot, but common sense is keeping its mouth shut ever since it received a little visit from Pat Lynch.

Lastly, the BSNYC Gran Fondon't is shaping up, because look at my inbox:


If you emailed you can expect a reply with details by tomorrow-ish.

I'd say goodbye now, but I was never here in the first place.

See you back here Monday, May 23rd.  (Unless I realize I forgot something else.)



--Wildcat Rock Machine

176 comments:

Phez7 said...

Eh!? Podiodio!

DB said...

Thanks for the bonus post!

Mike O. said...

Happy trails.

N/A said...

What the what? Unexpected Wednesday Weed post!

NYCHighwheeler said...

Westchester Mountain Bike Association
FAT TIRE FESTIVAL
June 12th 10am-4pm
Blue Mountain Reservation
Peekskill, NY

See you at the Gran Fon Donut!

Fergie

dancesonpedals said...

This is not a top 10.

N/A said...

I just read the Reclaim article and the smug meter pegged-out. It went to 11.

N/A said...

This is not a pipe.

Then Again said...

Little Kid to Father: "Daddy, look at the sophisticated urbanit riding a clown bike."

SUNY Albany English Major Indeed said...

Shouldn't the Gran Fondon't be named the Fon Dle Ta Ta's in honor of Recum Babe?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

10th on a non post day!~

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Hey, with 17 kids, if you have to work Saturday and can take off a few days ahead of the extra workday, go for it. I'm fine with it.

And speed cameras in school zones sound a lot better than red light cameras installed by a for-profit corporation while the city then shortens the yellow light time to boost ticket revenue. Because yellow means go like hell, not get ready to stop.

Joe said...

We all knew you'd come crawling back to help break up the hell that is our meaningless workday just like the miserable bike blogger that you are. Here's to say I told you so!

Eric the Infrequent said...

My neighborhood could use some speed cameras.

This is not McFly said...

This is not a comment.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I don't know about today or Friday, but I do know about tomorrow:

"On Thursdays I go shopping and have buttered scones with tea."

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and dumbass Captcha obviously does not know the difference between a ship and a boat.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

This is not a scranus.

Mrs. Cohen said...

Doctor, I smell burnt toast!

Captain Spaulding said...

Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.

Julius Caesar said...

I came, I saw, I took off

ken e. said...

suspiciously post-like....

BamaPhred said...

Schroedinger's Post, or Godot arrives

N/A said...

Schroedinger's Post was all scratched up at the bottom. That's why that little shit got stuffed into that box.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

After days and days of long hard thought, soul searching, perseveration, weighing the ins, counting the outs, drawing a line down the middle of the page and listing the pros and cons, the John and Yokos, the Sonny and Chers, the Liz and Dicks, the Harry and Tontos, the Liz and Dicks again, the Ham and Eggs, the milk and sugars, the ayes and nays I have finally come to one of the hardest decisions i ever had to make in my life:

I have decided to attend my daughter's college graduation instead of ride the Fondon't. I know many of you will mock my decision and call in to question my priorities, but I have always "Thunk Differently" and remained true to my heart...no matter how unconventional my decisions are.

I do hope those of you who do attend will enjoy yo'selves!

John, Paul, George and Ringo said...

You say goodbye, and I say hello.

N/A said...

Oh, sure you go to your daughter's graduation today, and where does it end? Next thing you know, you're going to her wedding, then you find yourself rushing to visit the emergence of future grandkids, then what? When does the madness end?

Spokey said...


yall missed das boot.

snobbie only posted today so he could break up our mad dash for a 10,000 commented post. now i (and am sure the rest of you are) am completely demoralized and can't muster the effort to post my share of 10,000 comments.

Spokey said...

i might add that Using my time wisely seems an odd caption for snobbie's current twitter pic showing him parked under a half fallen tree.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I am not one for upgrading my equipment to chase the latest ridiculous fad, but today was new tire day!

Conti 4000 SII's. The lowest rolling resistance of any tire tested by the "independent" test lab. (Read "not funded by the manufacturer.")

Finally went w/25mm's over 23 mm's, which is all I have ever ridden before. The pros ride 25mm's, which supposedly have a larger contact patch, yet less rolling resistance. Science, go figure.

They are black, because it seems that cycling has moved past the colored tire phase. They look like balloons compared to the old red and black Contis they replaced.

They grip and corner like I can't believe. They also eat surface irregularities. The compound of the old tires gets hard after a while.

They are also laterally stiff while vertically compliant, whatever the hell that means.

Lastly, a tip on extending tire life. About 2/3 of your body weight is on the back tire, possibly more if you are a lard-ass. It wears down a lot faster than the front,. If you rotate your tires front to back abut once every 6 months, you will get a lot more serviceable life out of them.



leroy said...

WIWM @ 12:36 -- Sheldon Brown advises not to rotate your tires.

BSNYC - My dog informs me that he can sell you a license to use John Cena's "U Can't C Me" move for your next non-appearance. He insists Mr. Cena won't mind, but all the same, my dog asks that you not disclose to Mr. Cena or his attorneys my dog's location.

Ride safe all!

dancesonpedals said...

I clicked on 'show original post'. Unfortunately, it did not say, 'Eve made my banana stand'.

Spokey said...

the revered sheldon begs to differ on this tire rotation fad

Two Claws said...

I forgot you weren't coming in today, what a fortunate surprise!
Liked the article about the school drop-off, (yes it's always a cluster here too), and cameras.
What focal length you running?

Anonymous said...

I think the University course could be retitled:
"Hipsters, Helme(n)ts and Heterodoxy: how one man and his 17 children changed NY transportation and rescued a utilitarian tool from irony and latex"

Patheteic Old Cyclist said...

Spokey,

I can attest to that, as I am a lardass.

Roille Figners said...

This is not a photograph.

Spokey said...


POC

i used to be. but i've changed my ways. now i'm a artisanally curated cold-pressed, organic, non-gmo cocnut oil ass. life has been so much better since i've seen the light.

Anonymous said...

Here's a nice piece of satire worthy of BSNYC. Happy BTWM .

wishiwasmerckx said...

Who am I to differ from Sheldon Brown, but his main justification does not ring true. In four decades of training and racing, I have never blown a tire, front or rear. Instead, the center ridge of the rear tire wears down, and swapping them around equalizes this wear.

Now in a performance automobile, you never rotate tires because the front sidewalls develop flex that is absent in the rear, which affects performance under load. This cancels out the benefit of longer and more even treadwear.

If you drive a Hyundai that the bank owns, rotate away.

Old timer said...

Huh? What?

commie said...

I have a BA in English from SUNY Albany, with a minor in Religious Studies!

We're lucky Google and Apple haven't scooped you up. You would have been snapped up by the Trump campaign, but of course they do not allow Jews.

P. Bateman said...

more like BikebigfatliarNYC....no post my sweaty scranus.

Impudence Anonymous said...

Ha ha, made you post!

Roille Figners said...

I don't rotate tires, but that's because I take advantage of the fact that occasionally, once in a while, the bike industry, ADHD/retarded child that it is, will sit still long enough that you can actually buy the same brand & type of tire, even a couple years later!! So when the rear tire wears down too much, replace it. When the front tire wears down too much, replace it.

I hear the biek industry is now working on top-secret new technology that will allow front tires to be re-purposed as usable rear tires. This will help, since there are so many people doing like I do, that there is now a massive glut of extra front tires, currently sitting out there on a container ship anchored off Long Beach.

P. Bateman said...

@anon -

...saved from ...latex?

i definitely never used any latex. allergic...plus i like to really "feel it" when i'm riding.

actually, not really allergic. just a convenient excuse.

N/A said...

I just quit using tires on my bieks. I couldn't handle the pressure.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I generally buy 3 tires at a time, as chances are one will get cut bad enough to discard before the 2 on the bike are worn out. Still haven't made the move to 25's, other than one set of Conti Gatorskins which I used in winter and will probably use on the Fondon't. And I don't rotate tires on the bike since every tire I mount without a pinch flat ensuing is a huge victory for me!

bad boy of the north said...

Since this isn't a post,and am still unable to attend this years gravitational pull of fondon't,i did not ride part of the course from the dam,and i won't report that trail conditions look favorable for those that are attending.that is all.thanks for the postdon't.

Spokey said...


I have really blown out a tire once. Was in the middle of nowhere eastern Oregon (or nowhere western Idaho, not sure). That was a rear. It was like a shotgun going off in my ear. But maybe only a 20ga. That would have been a Conti TT2K 700x37. Been running Conti on that bike since I ditch the Paselas it came with that would flat about every 23.29 miles. Of course I've gotten spikes at other times, but knock on rubber, never even used a tire boot.

I'm pretty sure the reason most performance drivers don't rotate is the characteric of the tires. Probably all are uni-directional these days. That was certainly my excuse. But at 200-300 per tire I didn't bother on my mustangs. Only on the Zs.

P. Bateman said...

@spokey - you had the same issue with your paselas?

my chubby bike has been sitting unused for about 2 weeks becuase i'm just too damn angry to change yet another lob damn flat tire.

i put baby in the corner rather than yelling at screaming at her.

N/A said...

That's weird, I love my Paselas, and regularly run 'em till they're bald. Do youse guys use the tourgaurds (or PT or whatever it's called now) or the regular versions?

P. Bateman said...

think my are the regular. i guess i should get some of those protective liners.

great..more petroleum based latex to encumber my "feel"

i also ride in an area where i feel like breaking glass on the roads/bike paths may be some sort of club activity or extracurricular for students to beef up their college applications because its constantly lob damn everywhere.

wait...floridians applying to college...that can't be right.

1904 Cadardi said...

I rotate my tires every time I ride. But, seriously folks...

Funny the subject of front versus rear tire wear comes up today. Last time I installed a new rear tire I wrote the mileage from my odometer and the date on the sidewall with paint marker. Today I noticed the first signs of cords showing (Conti GranPrix 4-season) at 2,300 miles and 11 months. The front has more miles than that. I'm with Roille, don't bother swapping them, just replace tires when they wear out.

N/A said...

I would like to choke the damn bottle kids.


I run the protected versions, and don't find them to be too harsh of a ride. I've tried Gatorskins and Marathons and prefer the Paselas. I do have Marathons on a bike that I use for rides on gravel and other surfaces when I know it's going to be harsh environs, but they sure are a stiff tire. I never cared for Gatorskins.

bad boy of the north said...

N/A@254....pretty lob darn funny.

Spokey said...


N/A

my data is old and likely useless. i ditched the paselas in 2002. what model? who knows. all i know is that other than the blow out mentioned, i've had great luck with the contis. Started with top touring on a cannondale in the mid 90s and continues to this day on my co-motion with the descendants of that tire. i think it's called touring contact. ride through glass pretty regularly as the fuck-o(e)s around here think the world is their garbage can and i'd guess that i flat less than once a year.

but i'm riding much bigger tires so they're probably less likely to puncture. my rear is a 145 48 spoke hub laced 4x using a 700x37 tire at 80psi. the front is similar but only 40 spoke. i'm not sure i could put a 28 tire on that rim let alone a 25 or 23.

wishiwasmerckx said...

N/A, Gatorskins never cared for you, either.

The Krauts make a pretty good bike tire.

Contis were factory issue on my sports car when it was new, and they were worn out before the odometer turned 20,000 miles. Will never buy another Conti car tire. I'm not made of money...ok, so I'm made of money, but I'm Jewish and too cheap to spend it...

Anonymous said...

Suck it, wishiwasmerckx...just for old times sake.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I have always preferred fast, supple tires over bombproof ones. To avoid flats, be a nimble bike handler and look the fuck where you are riding.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, my old friend, is that you? Are you paroled out of jail already?

Grump said...

I thought that you were going to say that you attempted to get your BS from Trump University, but Dean Wormer prevented it.

Frickus Rungus said...

This will probably help no-one, but I have 2 cents to contribute...

I have a pair of panaracer urban max tires in the 32c size-way on my road type biek. I think they are a precursor to the pasela tg model, with puncture resistant stuff molded in. They've been great for many years with heavy use. (ie. I'm a clydesdale and I ride a lot) I tore out a sidewall on one of the tires a few years back and had to replace it, but I don't think any other tire would have fared better. WWIM - Yah yah, I shoulda looked where I was going...

I've also a big fan of the continental tires brandway, with several pairs over the years that have served me well.

My commuter bike has schwalbe marathon plus tires on it (unplattbar!), in the nice and cushy 26 x 2.0 size.

Bottom line is that nowadays I only buy tires that have depleted uranium belts molded into them so I hardly ever have to change a flat. (knock on the carapace of a lob blessed crustacean...)

dancesonpedals said...

One day of a non-post post, and we're fighting over tired and turning on one another. A regular lord of the flies.

Ps I think quoting Sheldon brown is akin to Godwin's law

Anonymous said...

What tires are you running? I don't run tires...I roll them. The question should be, what tires are you rolling? But running sounds sexier, don't it?

wishiwasmerckx said...

If you got a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Dooth said...

This is not a post. This is not a love song. It is what it is. It's not what it is. Who's on first?

Anonymous said...

Nice to have you back. This is not a comment, but an observation: Occam's razor suggests leaving tires be until they get sliced by, well, ...

Also, said...

Initially I was disappointed to see Wiggle-Honda change to Wiggle-High Five but now I must admit the new name is as cool as the old.

David G said...

I wonder whether Pat Lynch could legally ride in New South Wales bare-headed. The shape, volume, and lacquered surface of the coif would seem to satisfy even the most stringent helmet law.

DB said...

Sent a 1993 Kestrel CSX-Deore to my son in LA. Spent an hour on FaceTime helping him put it together. He had an extra part which worried me, but we found a home for it. I don't know if he'll sell it for a couple grand or it'll get stolen, but he's my kid and it's time to get him on a bike.

bieks said...

Maybe one day you can explain this whole "Jersey plate" thing to us out-of-towners (full, make that partial disclosure - foreigner). Maybe it's just a state rivalry thing, but at times it comes across as far more nefarious. I don't see a lot of difference between crossing the Hudson with your car and crossing the East River with your car.

N/A said...

DOP, I don't think there's fighting, I think we're just sharing our experiences with our tire-ways.
At the end of the day, riding is better than not riding.

David G said...

Ceci n'est pas un commentaire.

JLRB said...

You never appreciate your tires until you can't ride theme

the Commentariat said...

JLRB, which theme can't we ride?

Roille Figners said...

RE Jersey plates - it's basically just a convenience for mocking people. Just imagine if the suburbs in your area had their own license plate, the fun you'd have. Also see: Vancouver WA "where all the shitty drivers are from." Anyway nighty-night.

JC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JC said...

https://www.facebook.com/globalcyclingnetwork/photos/pb.112665855555813.-2207520000.1463665044./637907306364996/?type=3&theater

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Wait, no non-post to the blog today? Anybody else get their secret instructions to the Fondon't start?

My Tires Blood Pressure is 115 said...

N/A @ 254
and
Wishiwas @ 428

Are well positioned for Sunday's Sprint Finish at the Tour de comédie

BamaPhred said...

No Snob. Man, this day is draggin its azz. I like the conti hard shell Gatorskins. Haven't flatted these yet, but they are pretty stiff. I'm rolling 32's, just because I can. But they only measure like 28 or 29 fully inflated. Odd. Maybe I ought to mic the rear tire with me sitting on the bike. I bet that will expand it a bit. I think I'll try some conti GP 4 seasons next.

Uncommon Grounds Bagels a Stones Throw from SUNY Albany said...

SUNY Albany, a foreign language degree in Long Islandish can be obtained there.

Spokey said...

bieks

snobbie is just jealous. jersey has a pretty staid plate but that is much more preferable to those ugly fuck-o-ing things ny has now. the old ones weren't bad but andy needed more graft money and has made everyone buy the ugliest plates in the nation (perhaps the entire planet). as soon as those new ones saturate the market, he'll probably call for new ones again to help tourism. i have it on good authority that many prospective tourists are repelled by the thought of riding a cab or bus with those things on them.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

The Jersey plates are ok, but last year Gov. Chris Krispy Kreme had the DMV ditch the raised letters and numbers, presumably to save stamping costs, so NJ's plates now mimic Delaware's "The Cardboard State" look with a totally flat plate.

And on the topic of graft and corrupt power, I'd like to see the Federal corruption investigation in Albany get NY's Governor and the Bridgegate investigation get NJ's Governor at Large - perhaps they could get adjoining cells as a sign of true bipartisanship.

Spokey said...

yeah

last may spousy gave my beloved camry (with drum breaks) to some young miscreant just because he claimed his car was on the way out and claimed to be a descendant.

yeah right.

so i got those new plates. i don't notice it but kind of wish they hadn't done that. btw a new car now has 5 years before it gets inspected. i have four more years.

BamaPhred said...

We have one former guv in the federal pen, the present luv guv Is in the process of being impeached. Except we don't really have a process, the speaker is indicted for massive abuse of his office for personal gain, the chief Supreme Court justice is suspended from office. Hint. We are not Illinois. All of the former commissioners of our largest county are/were locked up in the federal pen, except for the one that ratted the others out and did not get prosecuted. A 4.5 Billion road to nowhere is being built, the funding of which could fix like 50 infrastructure repair projects needed now. I could go on and on with the massive fucktardation we call government, and we can't even say we have the best politicians money can buy, cause we don't. Third world problems, I guess. Maybe Don, Andy, and Guv Krispy Kreme can share a cell.

leroy said...

My dog texted me that he accidently deleted the email with instructions to this year's Gran Fondon't.

He informs me that it meets as the same place as last year, but this year's ride has a Star Wars costume theme.

If it doesn't rain, he says he'll tape some Crullers to my helmet. If I don't shave my legs, he assures me I can pass as Princess Leia's and Chewbacca's love child.

bieks said...

Thanks for all the Jersey plate info. In the past, I had the impression Snob was accusing New Yorkers of insuring their cars in Jersey (to save money?), but maybe I'm confusing it with some other state plates.

bieks said...

Some New Yorkers, not all of them

leroy said...

BamaPhred -

My dog says your politicians are making a valuable contribution to science.

1904 Cadardi said...

Spokey,

88 spokes total? That's more than in the entire Tour de France this year. I get teased because I'm still rubbing 36 hole wheels, front and back.

Bama,

The GranPrix are pretty nice tires. A little smoother and grippier than a Gatorskin, but they don't seems to last as long. Plus they're more expensive. I can't say I've had any major flat problems, the odd goat head but nothing that made me doubt the effectiveness of the break belt. Just after buying a new tire I did run over some kind of nuclear powered ultrasonic lasertipped metal fragment that sliced the casing from rim to rim. I tried cutting that section of tire out to show some friends but couldn't as clean a cut with a new razor knife. Glad I didn't reach back to try and brush it off, I'd be missing a few fingers. But short of alien space junk, they seem to hold up okay.

DB said...

Wildcat:
The Walz book/cap combo came today.
I'm very impressed with both.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

New Yorkers register and insure their cars in all sorts of states - people with second homes or relatives in PA, FL, VT as well as NJ, and lots of other places too. If you ride through Brooklyn and Queens and look at the license plates of the cars parked on the streets you'll see a significant percentage with out of state plates, and they aren't all college students, grad school students and other people temporarily living in NYC. The Bronx and Staten Island are probably similar, but I don't get there too often. I find it kind of interesting that the insurance companies with all their actuaries don't sometimes wonder why they have such a high percentage of out of state cars having accidents in New York City, but hey, it is more difficult to drive in the city, so there's that.

NJ charges a 5 year up-front registration fee if you buy and register a new car here, that way they get more money up front. You get a shorter registration if you lease a new car and maybe if you transfer your old plates to the new car.

On the inspection side, NJ state inspection centers were privatized, with the firm operating them getting paid by the inspection. So there was a built in incentive to fail cars and make them come back to get re-inspected. NJ fixed that by changing the inspection requirement to only every 2 years, and then to only check to see if the check engine light is on, the OBD is throwing off any codes and that the gas cap can hold a vacuum to prevent gas fumes from escaping. No more checking of brakes, steering, lights, horn and windshield wipers, it's all good folks. And they decided at the same time, what the heck, brand new cars don't have to be inspected for the first 5 years, because really, what can go wrong in the first 5 years of a car's life.

Spokey said...

1904 Cadardi

on my new biek (assuming it is ever finished, it supposedly was going for paint a couple weeks ago) i'm going with 36 front and rear. i'm pretty sure my days of fully loaded touring are behind me. when i was doing that i was lugging around about 60 lbs of clothes, camping stuff, food, etc. in addition to my own fat. but these days i think i'm sticking with credit card tours and figure plastic doesn't need the extra spokes.

Spokey said...


lt o

last time i took the camry in (probably 2014) they still stuck a probe up your ass. can't remember what else other than they ran a mirror down the underneath side of the car. not sure what that was for other than looking for car bombs.

i used to hate taking the Z. That was an ODB 1 (ODB 2 is since '96) and they had some antenna looking pickup rather than plugging in. Not sure what the problem was (maybe the aluminum hood or something) but they could take 5 minutes to get a signal. they'd put it on the windshield, inside on the dash, all over the place.

Dan said...

Holy shit, I have a BA in English with a minor in Religious Studies also! No wonder I feel so special!

JLRB said...

this is not 99

JLRB said...

this is not 100

Roille Figners said...

Yeah speaking of that (Albany), I thought fur shur you were a Binghamton man Snobsy.

JLRB said...

If this is not a post, what is holding up your saddle?

Captain Oblivious said...


saddles be held up with un-scrani

zippy8 said...

Oh goddess, have I really been reading this drivel for nine years. I seriously need to straighten my life out.

Maybe after I read Monday's blog. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Arrivederci Vito said...

All this time Babble was really an overweight guy living in Hoboken who has passed on to the great Krispy Cream in the sky.

dancesonpedals said...

I remember something about new paltry. Albany? 518 changes a man.

dancesonpedals said...

New Paltz

Torah Torah Torah said...

This is not the Son of God.

Spokey said...


could someone plz give me some more global warming!

Byrne slam-dunk said...

This is not my beautiful house
This is not my beautiful wife

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Accuweather has the rain holding off until 2PM tomorrow. Lob willing, this will be the trifecta of 2016 BSNYC rides that got off rain free! Trying to decide if I should ride or drive the 16 miles to the ride, I think I'm going to drive in case it does rain later, and I don't need a 80ish mile ride tomorrow.

DB said...

Best wishes to all of the brave souls doing the Fondon't tomorrow.
Take more photos than last year and post them asap.
Looking forward to the hilarity that will ensue.
70 and clear in the Midwest tomorrow.

N/A said...

Well, since we've already discussed tireways and weather, and it's slow here, I decided to listen to the Fatty Cast in the Bike Snob guestway. I'll be darned if that wasn't good entertainments.

JLRB said...

Isn't there a bit that takes the week's posts and comments and cultivates a quiz?

JLRB said...

I said "bot" not bit

McFly said...

You guys be sure to blow a few stop lights on the Gland Fondle. Give each other pointers and tips.

BLOW TIPS

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Ladies and Gentlemen (and since this is New York) Everything in Between!

Good luck on the Fon Do Not !!

I will be whiling away the hours at an 11am wedding in SufFUCK County. But the groom is a Champeen cyclist and all around good guy, so that's my excuse for not having to get dropped after 10 miles.

I always wonder about the license plates from Guam or Hawaii whilst in CA or NY.

Yes, share lots of pikchas !! Be careful of that 20 yard stretch of gravelle!! It'll getcha!!

vsk

BamaPhred said...

I did not bike to work today. I'm phoning it in, instead. People are having a hard time figuring out the difference. But at least I go to my place of employment appropriately clothed.
Enjoy tomorrow, Fondon'ters

Spokey said...


yes good luck and happy trails to the don'ters tomorrow.

i biked to . . . today.

but damn if i'm going to let you commies to goad me in to going to work. i was going to stop for ice cream in raritan but forgot.

Roille Figners said...

I'll be damned, I forgot about Bike to Work Day. But now that I think about it, it does explain someone I saw in Fredly Kit, clumsily clipping in, and tentatively negotiating hostile suburban roadways with squeaky chains and even squeakier brakes, whom I did nonetheless easily SMOKE without trying on the equivalent of Babs's Bea Bike. Cat6 baby! Anyway here's hoping your fondon't is gran. Or would that be, "is not gran?" I'm so confused by the whole is/is not thing at this point.

Spokey said...


i noticed my chain was starting to squeak today. lubed it on the 6th and haven't ridden in the rain or any really dusty trails. i thought "what the hell"? fortunately a wet weekend is coming so maybe i'll do a good clean.

i also have squeaky brakes. in fact got so frustrated that i took the bike in this spring for a 'tuneup' with rear brakes ok and the front brakes screaming. came out with harmony. now both front and rear scream. maybe i'll try taking the brakes apart, grease the pivoting studs, etc.

Photog Asst said...

Spokey, once I had to grease the stud for a photo shoot. It was disgusting.

bad boy of the north said...

Have a fun and safe granny f tomorrow,fondon'ters.

Weakly Laced said...

If I use a used spoke to replace a broken one, will I die?

Dave said...

I've fiddled with the toe-in of the brake shoes until my sanity was imperiled. Sometimes you just have to suffer until they wear in and stop screaming. At least it gives pedestrians an effective warning, as squealing brakes make people jump quicker than your little dingey-bell.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Check for two things first trying to eliminate brake squeal.

First, carefully inspect the pads. Sometimes a tiny rock or bit of road debris gets lodged in the brake pad. Second, run some fine steel wool over the braking surface to wear down any ridges.

Hope this helps.

PaulH said...

Will the car hood of the future be sticky? https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/18/google-patents-sticky-layer-self-driving-car-accidents

Spokey said...


wiwm & dave

thx

i have tried toe-in so extreme my brakes look like a wheel air-spear.

no rocks. i didn't need new pads but out of desperation put new ones on (this last fall) and was thinking of trying some new ones again maybe kool stops.

wiwm you talking about about putting steel wool on the pad / rim or both?

wishiwasmerckx said...

The rim.

This discussion reminds me of a story about just how ridiculous the bike part aftermarket is. I needed new Campy brake pads, and it was cheaper to buy a whole new set of replacement calipers than a set of replacement pads. Took the pads off and installed them on my bike and threw the calipers in my parts bin.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

We all survived the Fondon't. Some of the dirt and gravel was a little sketchy on my 25 mm Conti Gatorskins which say they are 25 but look suspiciously the same as 23's. All in all a great time and hope to be back next year. Thanks BikeSnob!

bad boy of the north said...

Lieutenant Oblivious@256p
Glad you all had a great time.sorry I missed it.hopefully some pictures are forthcoming.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Well I'm no Ansel Adams but I managed to get a few pictures at a flat tire stop, our coffee stop at Coffee Labs in Tarrytown and the Yonkers Brewery. And this is my first attempt at Imgur so sorry but they are in 2 albums.

Flat tire and coffee stops

Yonkers Brewery stop

There were some more adept rider=photographers, the guy on the high zoot Trek who could snap pictures while riding, speed ahead and stop to take pictures, then catch up to us, and a couple of other people taking pictures, hopefully they will post theirs too.

bad boy of the north said...

nice grouping,LO.

ken e. said...

thanks for sharing!

DB said...

Thanks, Leftenant Obvious.
Who are these guys?

dancesonpedals said...

I'm in there. The guy with glasses.

dancesonpedals said...

And the red jersey

bad boy of the north said...

who's vaping?

bad boy of the north said...

and I see the rider with the yellow helme(n)t returned.

JLRB said...

I am just out of the frame of each of those pictures ... By about 200 miles

Thanks for sharing - everything is so green when it stops raining long enough to see ....

Spokey said...


wow

never thought dop was such a young lad.

dancesonpedals said...

Young lad? I'm in the red and black jersey...birthmark on neck faintly visible in the last coffee labs shot...Ike was in his first term when I was born

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

maybe i've got the wrong lad then. don't see a red & black in the last photo, just in the first. at the end of the table with shades. that's the one i was looking at. but i will say if ike was in office (as in prez) and not in you-rope, you be a young lad.

i mean sheeet. born while ike is prez. that's pre-medeecare. oh, but hey that's great. i should be thankin' you for footin the bill for our medical insurance. i always thank the youngest of the clan ('lil sis). really pisses her off.

dancesonpedals said...

Yes, shades

Lani said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dop said...

OK, my pictures:

We shared the bar with a birthday party for one year old Dominic

Hanging out on the South County Trail.

The picture I'm taking in Lt. O's picture at Coffee Labs.

Spokey said...


glad a fun time was had by all.

i do have to ask about a 1 yo having a birthday party in a bar though. even i wasn't drinking in bars at that age.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

So in the first picture of the flat tire and coffee stop set in my haste to post pictures I didn't notice what the guy in the foreground was doing, so now it is edited to just Snob, high zoot Trek guy and a guy from Toga bike shop. I don't call myself oblivious for nothing! Hopefully the Trek guy posts his pictures, cause he took a lot. The guy with the Raleigh Panasonic jersey was the victim of the flat tire, and he is there in the picture pronouncing himself ready to go. DOP is in the second picture with his head turned away from the camera. Leroy is in the third picture of that set, he is with his back to the camera in the Fat Cyclist jacket.

In the first picture at Yonkers Brewery, you can see Snob, Leroy to his right and DOP at the head of the table. Directly across from Snob but blocked by a guy whose name I don't know is the lovely Janinedm.

Hopefully we get some more pictures and more identities revealed this coming week.

Spokey said...


so you got me a wondering. so i went into my browser cache to check out that first picture. kind of hard to see. i didn't see it when you first posted it. but fairly benign imho though i spose the subject might appreciate the crop.

but the biggo question is "where is leroy's dog?" or can't you post those because he is demanding royalties?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Looks like a good time was had by all. I missed it on account of I live 2500 miles away and all...

I don't know if this is disturbing, but IRL I bear a passing resemblance to Leroy. Sometimes the anonymity of the comment board is better, I think?

BamaPhred said...

Such fun.
Many jackets
Cold much?

Ps everybody looks so young and fit.
If I ever fondon't will have to ride in a Lucha Libre wrestling mask to preserve the old anonymity, I lost the dignity a long time ago.

DB said...

Yeah, I think Leroy and I are the same age.
Thanks for the photos!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

When I asked him, Leroy said his dog was home and hung over. It was low 60's and overcast. Except for a very few errant drops, Lob saved us from rain. Including the to and from my parking spot, I had just under 46 miles total and while the 11.2 mph average sounds very leisurely, there were some slow spots on dirt and gravel, a few small climbs and some faster paced riding on pavement.

Picture Perfect said...

I've got some old vacation photos of a family roadtrip that ended up in Eastend, Saskatchewan. There is a beauty of some corn that the Hutterites were selling. Should I share?

HDEB said...

There was no vaping that I witnessed on the Fondon't. Just good, old fashioned combustion that was thoughtfully shared : ) Generosity, consideration and fun were abundant!

Anonymous said...

Here all this time I thought Leroy was a black man, go figure.

Frickus Rungus said...

I saw the picture with the evidence of doping. You can't hide the truth! I'm calling the USDA and getting the entire podium thrown out!!!

Frickus Rungus said...

By the way, who won?
(That should have been usada in the comment above. I don't even have the us Dept of agriculture's number...)

Holy Roller said...

Did anyone kneel and pray and offer supplications for not making this event all about Jesus, I think not! In fact, I fear that the Lord took second place to the quaffing of alcoholic beverages and kibitzing about tire pressure. All you sinners will surely face the wrath of God when it comes time for God's wrathfulness!

dancesonpedals said...

In France they have holy rolleurs

bad boy of the north said...

how many of you were there?looks like a goodly amount.

N/A said...

Wait a minute, there was kibitzing? Nobody said there was going to be kibitzing! Damnit.

janinedm said...

@Frickus Rungus, I don't know who won, but I learned a very important lesson: I gotta stop treating my Marin the way the Dursley's treated Harry Potter.

I also have pictures. I was wearing this thing called a Narrative Clip. It was a little 1"x1" pin that takes a high res photo of whatever it's pointing at. I have something like 600 shots, mostly pavement and sky, but I have plans to fire up an audio book and pull down all of the ones with any actual content. Either this week or during the long weekend.

N/A said...

To those of you that met Leroy: Was he tripping balls? I've always had the impression that he's stoned to the bone. Talking dog, my ass!

N/A said...

Also, thanks to those that are posting pics. I enjoy some good bike geekery.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Holy Roller, I personally thanked Lob for holding back the rain on Saturday. At one point, we felt a few drops and I said to Janinedm, something to the effect that I may have to say "fuck it, I'm taking the bus!"

Now, this question is not aimed directly at you, but a couple weeks back we were discussing Jehova's Witnesseses, and I am wondering-If the Jehova's Witnesses believe only exactly 144,000 of the true believers will go to heaven, what is the point of all their proselytizing efforts? Further, once someone joins the flock, is there internal competition within to one-up each other to see who is really one of the chosen 144,000?

Spokey said...


lo

i don't care. i'm sure i'm not one of the 144,000. but i always had a good time debating 'ken' when he came by. alas i think he has finally given up on me. perhaps they did reach their quota and have stopped. i used to get a drive-by every couple months. but i don't think i've seen him since last fall.

Spokey said...


N/A

Talking dog, my ass!

are you questioning whether leroy's dog can talk? or claiming your ass talks as well? i am confused here.

are we sure he talks? has leroy ever claimed that? perhaps leroy's dog is telepathic. or does a vulcan like mind meld. i think a little more careful investigation is needed before we castigate mr leroy so harshly.

dancesonpedals said...

144,000? That's just gross... Maybe 1,000 grosser than anything I've heard

leroy said...

Well of course my dog talks.

He also texts.

In fact, during the Fondon't, he sent me several texts, asking how to turn off the smoke detector in our kitchen.

Hope he was cooking. The torches for the tiki bar he rented didn't look like they were for indoor use.

crosspalms said...

Thanks for posting the photos, I'm enjoying them!

BamaPhred said...

Snob has the religious studies minor, so I guess that makes him the resident expert on The Rapture. But no, the easy answer is the 144,000 are the souls that do not go through the plagues and torments in John the Revelator's Apocalypse. The Final Judgement is at the end.
Don't sweat it.

"Well who's that writin'? John the revelator
Who's that writin'?John the revelator
Who's that writin'? John the revelator
A book of the seven seals"

N/A said...

are you questioning whether leroy's dog can talk? or claiming your ass talks as well? i am confused here.

Well, I was referring to Leroy's dog, but if we're being honest, my ass can make its point known when needed.

Holy Roller said...

The 144,000 are chosen by GOD and they just know they have been chosen, so there is no need for discussion or feuding, the righteous who have died are resurrected back to earth, or those who are alive and righteous at the time of the end will live through Armageddon to live forever on a paradise earth. All others will be killed by the God of love and forgiveness for being SINNERS.
Sometimes I wonder, what pressure would Jesus run?

Hot Cross Buns said...

I think that Judas ran at about 30 pascals of silver.