(I suspect some of these models may be airbrushed.)
Now flip past the Assos Freak and turn to the May page:
Then grab your crayons and mark it up thusly:
So what does this mean? It means I won't be updating this particular cycling blog tomorrow, or the day after that, or even the day after that, but I'll be back on Monday May 23rd with regular updates.
Sorry, but that's just the way it's going to be.
Also, you might want to note on your calendar that this coming Saturday, May 21st is The BSNYC Gran Fondon't!
Please don't let the auspicious-sounding title fool you, this is merely an excuse to get together for a 50-ish mile jaunt on some of the roads and trails north of the city and east of the mighty Hudson River. This is by no means a "hammerfest," meaning no pace lines, town line sprints, or anything like that. (Well, I mean go ahead and sprint if you want, but the rest of us will probably just laugh at you.) At the same time, while we'll make a decent effort to keep things together and not drop anybody, we also want to do more riding and less loitering, so you should expect to, you know, ride your bike for 50 miles. (Yes, of course we'll do the obligatory coffee stop and all the rest of it.)
And please note when I say "we" I mean me.
Also, while there was a guy who showed up on a three-speed or something last year and acquitted himself rather well, I'd suggest riding a "normal" sporty-type bike with those curved-type handlebars they use in the Tour de France for maximum enjoyment. Hey, I'm not saying you have to by any means--feel free to ride whatever you like--but don't expect everybody to wait for you just because you wanted to score some irony points.
As for the route, it will most likely be more or less last year's route, but in reverse. Expect some hills and some dirt. Yes, your road bike is fine. No, you don't need special tires. If you're a decent bike-handler your 23mm Fred tires will be fine, but in this Fred's opinion 28-32mm tires are ideal. Your cyclocross or oh-so-trendy gravel bike is also a good choice, but by no means do you need knobby tires or anything like that. Also, if you buy special tires for this you're a giant dork.
Lastly, don't use fenders unless they're the breakaway kind. I know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, that's far more words than an informal ride like this warrants. If you want to join, please email me at bikesnobnyc [at] yahoo [dot] com with the following subject line:
HOW MUCH DON'T WOULD A FONDON'T DON'T IF A FONDON'T DID NOT DO
Please email me no later than Thursday, 12:00pm EST and I'll send you the start time and place and all the rest of it. (I'll also have a way to contact you if the weather sucks and I decide to stay in bed.) Most likely we'll roll out at 7:30am or thereabouts on the northern tip of the Isle of Manhattan.
So there you go.
Moving on, remember that inverted bike lane in Brisbane, Australia I mentioned yesterday?
Well the very same reader who alerted me to it informs me it has already claimed its first victim:
If you're still puzzled as to why they put the buffer between the bike lane and the curb as opposed to between the bike lane and motor vehicle traffic, apparently it was to prevent this somehow:
Which obviously still makes no fucking sense whatsoever.@coolbutuseless @SpencerHowson this section of bike lane was being illegally used as a traffic lane. pic.twitter.com/e2bZzYxhjD— Cr Adrian Schrinner (@Schrinner) May 16, 2016
Just the latest cautionary tale from The Land Down Under, which as far as I can see is a gigantic experiment in creating an environment in which cycling cannot exist.
Penultimately, here's your next fat bike:
Just imagine, being able to ride without limitations:
So what does that mean? Well, obviously it means you can ride in snow, which is sort of the whole point of fat bikes:
Though as nobody who sells fat bikes likes to remind you, even with a fat bike this is only possible if the trails are packed in and groomed first, meaning either you have to live where there are lots of snowmobiles, or else you basically just have to have no life or responsibilities and lots of spare time to flatten snow so you can ride a bike slowly on it.
But wait, there's more, because with the Growler you can also ride on smooth trails in fall, which is simply not possible with a normal mountain bike:
Not to mention spring, when those tiny sprouts along the sides of the trail can be very dangerous on a bike with a tire width of less than four inches:
And without a fat bike you can just forget about summer, when those tiny sprouts grow into killer ground cover, which means only a fat bike will allow you to conquer this verdant carpet of death:
All otherwise insurmountable on your feeble all-terrain bicycle, which is really only suitable for pavement at this point.
And yes, I realize the irony of making fun of fat bikes when I ride a Marin Pine Mountain 1, and yes, it is technically mine now because I'm going to buy it, AND YES, I did say I'd never buy a fat bike...but in my defense the Marin Pine Mountain 1 is not a fat bike:
It's a plus-sized bike. There's a difference. Because it's 2016, and as soon as you change the width of a bicycle tire by more than 3mm it becomes a completely different category of bike.
That's marketing, baby.
Lastly, remember how someone in The Washington Post said cycling is 500 times more fatal than riding the bus? Well, not anymore:
A fleet of London buses that have been fitted with mobile spinning studios are in the pipeline to be launched in London later this year, travelling across the most popular commuter routes in London to help busy workers to get the most out of their mornings.
The idea, which is the brainchild of boutique gym 1Rebel's founders James Balfour and Giles Dean, was born as a result of the popularity of their most over subscribed class, RIDE, and a desire to remove any hurdles that prevent busy Londoners from working out.
Incredible. Finally, someone has figured out how to put cyclists inside a helmet.
It was bound to happen.
In the meantime, see some of you on Saturday, and the rest of you on Monday, May 23rd!
--Wildcat Rock Machine
PS: Don't forget to buy yourself a book and a hat!
Whatever you do, just buy something.