Friday, April 8, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!


("Is there a problem?")

Owing to my absence last week I fear some of you may be growing complacent, and by way of obviating this let's get right into the quiz.  As always, study the question, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see how fat bikes have gotten so mainstream they're now serving as foils in car commercials.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and ride safely!


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) What is the "Bogarde?"

--A new analog power meter
--A new carbon fiber chainguard from SRAM for the new generation of 1x drivetrains
--The act of monopolizing a marijuana cigarette
--A designer adult BMX






(Beware the Giant Alpecin)

2) What is Alpecin?

--A new doping product
--A new hydraulic shifting group
--A horrifying creature of myth
--A caffeinated shampoo for balding German men





3) Why is David Millar smiling?

--He's wearing spiffy shoes and gloves
--His buttocks are langidly jiggling as he glides preternaturally atop the cobbles
--He is savoring the pleasure of being pounded in the perineum with a precision-crafted state-of-the-art rubber-and-crabon ass mallet
--All of the above





4) Devon is sooo not into bike touring.

--True
--False





5) The new Trek Domane features:

--A flexible head tube
--A detachable bottom bracket shell
--A dropper post
--An electronic tire pressure monitoring system






6) When you hit Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed while using the Omata One analog bike computer, a cuckoo leaps out.

--True
--False




7) In the latest of a seemingly endless series of PR gaffes, Specialized:

--Sued the unincorporated community of Roubaix, South Dakota for trademark infringement
--Hired Femke Van den Driessche to promote their new limited-edition Playboy ebike
--Posted advertisements on the wreckage of a bike shop that was severely damaged in a gas explosion
--Said Trek's new Domane was "retarded"


***Special Smugness-Themed Bonus Video!***



If Britain is 200 years behind then we must be 500 years behind and Australia must be stuck in the Bronze Age.

85 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bang

RayG said...

Everybody sleep in?

Anonymous said...

Didn't have time to log in for podio sprint

geoff_tewierik said...

Top 5 is good.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Fifth, Scranus!

bad boy of the north said...

Top ten?snob,the choices were hilarious .....safe weekend,y'all.

dancesonpedals said...

I wouldn't buy a car made out of aluminum foil.

I mean, aluminum fail, dude.

Anonymous said...

Early bird gets the top ten boners

N/A said...

We're complacent? NO, YOU ARE!

BamaPhred said...

I coulda podiumed, I coulda been a contenda, but top 10 anyway, once I thought checking

BamaPhred said...

A befuddling observation from my perusal of Bike Snob his week.
That's a fake deer, isn't it? We call that a bait deer here, to catch poachers shooting at it.
There's others, and I enjoyed them all.

balls™ said...

Is it too late to call in sick? My ass-mallet is calling to me.




Gordon said...

What is Specialized thinking?

Gordon said...

What is Specialized thinking?

babble on said...

Wildcat is on another reconnaissance mission...

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I guess VW is trying to recruit the RedBull daredevil wannabees.

...but why is the fatbiker much older than the RedBull daredevil wannabees?

...it's insulting on so many levels. But at least it's only a fatbiker.

N/A said...

I'll tell you what Specialized is thinking: that the current R&D of their top-secret Gran Fondon't Adventure-Series All-Teraining Fat Bike (AKA: The Scranulator®) may finally be their undoing.

N/A said...

Eventually, the Specialized catalog is going to be twice as thick as the QBP catalog.

Roille Figners said...

Je suis en los viente cabrones primeros.

JLRB said...

it's all fun and games

Roille Figners said...

Cheapest way up the mountain! Because money is better in my possession and what's the fucking hurry?

grog said...

Top Twenty Two.
TedK is Top Scranus.
FUNQ UIZZ
MORE BABE
RIDE NICE

ken e. said...

still fixated on the softride from yesterday's post. biking in outer-space never looked so awesome.

Two Claws said...

BamaPhred - I think that's a real deer, but the ear tag looks like the ones they put on dairy cows. My guess is that artisanal cheese, even goat cheese is passe for those New York hipsters, the guy is running a deer cheese operation in his back yard. It's gonna be the next big thing.

Two Claws said...

You heard it here first.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Goofy tiller effect, accentuated by a strobing stemlight and counterbalanced frumpsac.

Time to take yer fatbyxe out tomorrow with all that snow comin in Avril!

Trying to get back into the groove!

vsk

Old timer said...

Huh? What?

Spokey said...



whoa!

not even top quarter century. i am truly sucking wheel todaze

David Henri said...

What's really sad Snob, is that I read one of your blogs from several years ago, and to compare it to what you're writing now, well, there's no comparison.

Check it out:

http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2007/06/its-all-in-details.html

Why can't you write like you used to?

leroy said...

Aced the quiz.

Off to Times Square. My dog claims he has can't miss business opportunity.

I just have to change my name to Timmy while he tells folks I fell down a well, poses for pictures, and autographs stuff.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ride safe all. Might need snow tires this weekend.

Anonymous said...

30th on the pod. Victory!

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Henri @11:56-

My dog asked me to remind you that nothing gold can stay.

I have no idea what he means by that. Typical.

Blue Light Special, in Aisle 4 said...

N/A@1014 "Gran Fondon't Adventure-Series All-Teraining Fat Bike (AKA: The Scranulator®)"

Wal-Mart is to be the exclusive retailer, Al Gore invention rumors are saying.

Captain Pogo Stick said...

Comrade #8 used the word "boner", must have something to do with the flexible head tube.

Sir Issac's Scranus said...

Working on a design for Oculass, a rear view camera suppository so you can see who is about to drop you on the group ride, if you have been dropped, you can see the vehicles desperately trying to run you down. Or other uses, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

The Plutizer Prize Committee said...

Dear Mr. David Henri, who wrote "What's really sad Snob, is that I read one of your blogs from several years ago, and to compare it to what you're writing now, well, there's no comparison."

2007 "The cat licked it's balls", 2016 "The cat licked it's scranus"

After reviewing the writing from both periods the Plutizer Prize Committee can find no variation in quality, and your claim is disallowed. The committee concludes that you should stick to painting pictures, and not reading words.

Ben Hur said...

My bronze bike is laterally and vertically stiff. Also heavy.

crosspalms said...

Snow here off and on today, now it's ice pellets ticking against the windows. So far it's all melting when it hits the ground.
Remember when spring used to be spring, oh, probably back in 2007 when Snob was funny and we were too? Yes, everything's gone to hell since, and now we hear the bicycle won't be invented for 100 years. Sad days. Think I'll eat another fondonut.

Spokey said...


i was going to call an asterisk on Q4. good thing i went back and re-read it. can i get a do over? i missed the not in the question.

Frickus Rungus said...

I am traumatized by the picture of Alpecin Scissor Hands
I really want to un-see that...

Anonymous said...

I'm way better at dunking when I jump off the hood on my VW. Basketball sucks.

BikeSnobNYC said...

David Henri,

That post is almost nine (9) years old. It was one of my first, I believe. Sure, I could still be writing about which way your hub label should be facing, but that would be sad.

I recommend you read the Velominati. Something tells me it's right up your alley.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Frickus Rungus said...

I think you may have found some new characters for the blog in that Special Smugness-Themed Bonus Video.
The first guy looks like he's taking a nap. (non-plussed ambien guy)
The second guy is licking his chops in anticipation of cat 6 ecstasy. (extremely plussed cat 6 guy)
And if you look a little farther back and to the right you can see an old-timer with a murderous look in his eyes. (negatively-plussed old-timey guy)

N/A said...

I think Devon would make a fine addition to the BSNYC family of blogeen peoples. I don't know whether or not she's properly plussed, though. I think you need to buy her a couple of drinks first.

P. Bateman said...

my hub labels ALWAYS face due south! ALWAYS!!!

N/A said...

My hubs harbor a mild level of discontent at being labeled.

Spokey said...


i'm reporting this hub labeling epidemic to mayor de-commie-o first, then rev al, and finally loretta lynch (for title viii violations).

ken e. said...

trying to get all hiakuey with it, but... sakura problems. good ones @leroy's dog.

DB said...

Snow showers in Northwest Illinois.
Friend driving up from Peoria this weekend for epic ride.
May spend weekend in a bar instead.

This and That said...

David Hembrow, ex-Brit and the King of Dutch Bicycle Superiority, thinks the U.K. is ~43 years and 26 days (not his most recent number) behind the Netherlands.

VW is also the dirtiest emissions up the mountain, and would probably lose going down.

Anonymous said...

That old column was really sad and not even that funny. I like the evolved BS much better -- funnier, smarter, more relevant.

Roille Figners said...

"Hey Ted K - check this out," is what I can't believe I find myself saying. Found it on Hacker News. Could be done with one of the readymade machine-learning libraries that are out there now, including one from Google itself so how's that for irony.

wishiwasmerckx said...

"Leaps out of turns like a cat out of a bathtub."

...and so does my Tesla...

Frickus Rungus said...

wiwm,

you should be careful putting large electrical appliances, like your tesla, in the bathtub. you could get electrocuted!

JLRB said...

I always mount my hub - it likes it

wishiwasmerckx said...

FR, duly noted. Thank you for the heads-up. Glad you've got my six.

BamaPhred said...

My hubs sound like Rabinowitz rubbing her beaver, and I like it. Not so sure about the beaver, it looked like it couldn't give a dam.

Some guy from upstate said...

I so wanted number 6 to be true. A little artisianally-crafted titanium cuckoo. Oh well.

The post-fondont beer selling place should have big bowls of melted cheese surrounded by piles of bread cubes. A grand fondue!

David G said...

Sunday night (Monday morning) at 3 a.m. on TCM:

"Death of a Cyclist" (1955) — Two illicit lovers accidentally run over a cyclist and leave him behind to die, fearing prosecution for hitting him.

Just kidding boat! This is neorealism, not science fiction. Actually:

Two lovers accidentally run over a cyclist and leave him behind to die, fearing exposure of their affair

Spokey said...

Some guy from upstate

The post-fondont beer selling place should have big bowls of melted cheese surrounded by piles of bread cubes. A grand fondue!

except that being a fondon't, there should be an empty bowl surrounded by piles of tofu cubes. a this sucks fondon't.

McFly said...

Devon takes the flex right out of my stem. Let her give call ups on Fondon't.

DB said...

To my Canadian Friends: all Gordon Lightfoot tonight on YouTube.
Thanks.

DB said...

Sorry Canada. Two songs and I was falling asleep.
Back to Manu Chao.

Anonymous said...

LANTERN ROUGE...

Australia Calling said...

Bronze age? Bronze age? Does this troglodyte look like he is from the Bronze Age? No we are talking Stone Age baby. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi.

Spokey said...


bronze, stone, give me steel age

Hindsight said...

I got rear-ended by a Rover 2000TC way back in 1981.

ken e. said...

classic stone age

Holy Roller said...

Once again, no one is talking about Jesus Christ the Son of God. Why has nobody mentioned Jesus Christ the Son of God? I think even Donald Trump has said something about Jesus Christ the Son of God. I guess it's up to me to give a shout out to Jesus Christ the Son of God. Amen

I Swear said...

Jesus Christ! Enough already.

Atheist Arsehole said...

I wonder, did Mary have an orgasm during immaculate conception, or was God unsatisfying?

Anonymous said...

It's a moot point, women don't really amount to much in the Bible, or to people who believe in it. Lot got it on with his daughters and was still looked up to as a holy man.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and that was after he offered them up to be gang raped by the citizens of Sodom, I guess they didn't have too much say in the matter.

Holy Roller said...

You SINNERS twist the words of God to make it sound patriarchal and sexist! What you really need is FAITH!

Holy Roller said...

Faith in running a single speed chain on a six speed cluster.

Roille Figners said...

Totally DOMINATED the Cat6 race on the rail-to-trail today yessir, killed that shit! Maillot jaune! Haute scrânú!

Wrench Monkey said...

Regarding question #6, when did "Fred Woo Hoo Hoo Speed" become "Fred Woo Hoo Hoo HOO" speed? Also, the Garmin ad for their Varia Vision reads "HEADS UP: you just nailed 46MPH". Coincidence?


Wrench Monkey said...

I forgot a HOO. 4 HOOS is just ridiculous,

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog says every ride with me is a charity ride.

Yesterday's had a theme.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I might vo bikecyckling today.....no raininess, no 50mph wind (wind woo hoo hoo speed), a bit chilly here on lawn guyland, but nothing my fat rolls can't deflect....you, nust might get some bikey in.

dancesonpedals said...

Women don't amount to much in the bible? They have there moments:

Judges 4:21

Then Jael, Heber's wife, took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died.*

*Sisera, a runaway general, hiding in her tent. Not her husband.

BamaPhred said...

And who can forget Esther, an orphan who became Queen of Persia?

Of course there was Jezebel who was defenestrated from the palace walls and the dogs licked her blood from the street below.

La-la-la...la-la-la. said...

Oh Devon, oh Devon, say, have you met Devon?
Devon the Flexible Head Tube Lady.

Joe sure won't be experiencing her flexible head tube again.

dancesonpedals said...

I'd like to meet Ruth in the threshing room.

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