Friday, February 12, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz And Winter Recess Announcement!

Firstly, Happy Valentine's Day!


I love you.

Secondly, my Valentine's Day gift to you is that I won't be updating this blog next week and will return on Monday, February 22nd with regular updates:


See, the schools are closed next week, and so I will be spending my days with my children making memories and taking them to New York City's finest cultural institutions:

Just kidding, that place is way too highbrow.  I'll be dumping their futures into a slot machine in Yonkers while they work the floor picking pockets just like I taught them:


("We're broke!")

Speaking of lousy parenting, instead of getting your kid a bike, why not start them off on the path to douchedom early by getting them one of these instead?



My favorite toy when I was a kid was a bright red Power Wheels Jeep. Even though I never left the sidewalk, the driveway, or the yard with it, that Jeep gave me my first taste of the open road. Five miles per hour felt like 100 behind that plastic wheel. 

But then I turned 5. I hit a growth spurt and found myself above the recommended weight limit for the Jeep. I tried to scrunch myself into the drivers seat and ignore the fact that my size was making it almost impossible for the tiny electric motor to do anything. The joy it gave me was replaced by seething anger as I watched my kid brother inherit the Jeep. 

Wow, that's depressing.  Squeezing yourself into a plastic box with a tiny electric motor?  Pathetic.  My favorite "toy" when I was a kid was a bicycle, and you better believe I left the driveway with it.  It also went way faster than five miles per hour, especially on the downhills.  Even the plastic Big Wheel I had before getting a real bike was comparatively badass, although once you skidded a bunch of flat spots onto the plastic wheels it was basically like riding on hexagons--which I suppose has its own romance as it evokes riding on the pavĂ© in a certain way.

But why waste time on human-powered conveyances when you're going to spend your entire adulthood behind the wheel of a leased Hyundai?

Dave Bell, the CEO of startup Actev Motors, has a solution to my problem, even if he is about 25 years late. "By the time [kids] get to 5 years old, they’re pretty much done with Power Wheels," he says. "They’re bored with it. It doesn’t go very fast, it doesn’t really have any features." 

That's why his company created the Arrow Smart-Kart, an electric go-kart for pre-teens that will make its debut at this weekend's New York City Toy Fair. And like all the best toys, it's the kind of thing that makes me wish I were still a kid just so I could drive one.


See, you don't want to give your kid a bicycle, or a skateboard, or anything they've got to work to propel.  What you want to do is shut off both their bodies and brains as early as possible by giving them a motor, slapping a helmet on them, and limiting their range electronically:

That alone is enough to make a kid want the Arrow, but it's all the smart features that will make it attractive to parents. The most important one is probably geofencing. Parents can use the Arrow app to draw a boundary on a map, and if their child tries to cross it the motor will automatically shut off. That's a big deal — my Power Wheels Jeep obviously never had this option, so my mom was forced to stand in our driveway and yell every time I drove near the road. (Thanks, Mom!)

It should be interesting to see what happens when the "geofenced" generation eventually sheds their electric shock collars and comes of age--though I suppose by then self-driving cars will be the norm and they'll never really have to.

(And hey, I'm not saying I wouldn't have been all over that designer go-kart as a kid.  I'm just saying it was probably a good thing I didn't have one.)

In the meantime I'm developing an app that helps you tell your ass from your elbow, I predict it's going to be a huge seller.

Lastly, I was reading a review of some high-end Fred flippers recently and found myself once again marveling at bike reviewers' ability to invent superlatives for qualities that are wholly unremarkable:


The fit is fantastic, with a reassuringly snug and shrink-wrapped feel around the middle of your foot and an almost ludicrously secure hold on your heel. 

Ludicrously secure heel-hold?  Is heel ejection a big problem with cycling shoes?  I don't think I've ever encountered it.  And not only is it secure, it's ludicrously secure.  Like hang-you-upside-down-by-the-shoes secure:


Then again I did once see someone come out of his shoes at a cyclocross race while dismounting to clear a barrier, so maybe I just have overly bulbous heels--though it's probably more likely I know how to fasten my shoe straps properly.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see someone with a drinking problem.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and Happy Valentard's Day!

See you back here on February 22nd.

I love you,


--Wildcat Rock Machine













1) Today is:

--International Winter Bike To Work Day
--International Winter Hug A Messenger Day
--International Winter Drive To Work Day
--International Winter Fuck It, I'm Staying Home Day





2) This proposed safety device for trucks is called the "Wanking Window."

--True
--False




(Another designer "disrupting" the status quo with douchey hand gestures.)

3) What is this bike called?

--The "fUCI"
--The "UCIsn't"
--The "Femke Sled"
--The "Taintscraper"






4) The species known as the "MAMIL" is increasingly taking to the:

--Road
--Dirt
--Skatepark
--Skies






5) What is this?

--The ultimate commuting bike
--The ultimate porteur bike
--The ultimate foraging bike
--Steampunk triathlon bike





6) It's only what?

--Bikes
--Pain
--Rock and roll but I like it like it yes I do
--Doping if you win





7) What's going on here?

--He's trying to remove his rear wheel with his knees
--He's checking the bike for a motor
--He's participating in a wheelie contest
--He's getting blown



***Special People Don't Drive Good-Themed Bonus Video***

235 comments:

1 – 200 of 235   Newer›   Newest»
Ted K. said...

117. In any technologically advanced society the individual’s fate MUST depend on decisions that he personally cannot influence to any great extent. A technological society cannot be broken down into small, autonomous communities, because production depends on the cooperation of very large numbers of people and machines. Such a society MUST be highly organized and decisions HAVE TO be made that affect very large numbers of people. When a decision affects, say, a million people, then each of the affected individuals has, on the average, only a one-millionth share in making the decision. What usually happens in practice is that decisions are made by public officials or corporation executives, or by technical specialists, but even when the public votes on a decision the number of voters ordinarily is too large for the vote of any one individual to be significant. [17] Thus most individuals are unable to influence measurably the major decisions that affect their lives. There is no conceivable way to remedy this in a technologically advanced society. The system tries to “solve” this problem by using propaganda to make people WANT the decisions that have been made for them, but even if this “solution” were completely successful in making people feel better, it would be demeaning.

clyde said...

#1

Anonymous said...

Boobies!

clyde said...

Ted K does not count!

Two Claws said...

Two claws up!

Anonymous said...

top ten scrotium!!

misster pissta said...

Brealaway dropped me

dancesonpedals said...

Fridays scranus has no scranus

bad boy of the north said...

correct correct correct correct correct correct correct....score!enjoy spending your 17 or so childrens' inheritance at empire casino and raceway.penny machine or nickel machine?

Anonymous said...

Favitard made top ten.

BamaPhred said...

I avoid pain, thank you very much. Enjoy your recess.

Anonymous said...


No helmet and aero bars? Now that fTarded in Florida.

Bryan said...

"Spring" Break already?? Fine. Leave us. See if I care. I might be rocking back and forth in the fetal position and drooling over myself by the time you get back. But have fun. Don't worry about us. We might go all Lord of the Flies over here.

N/A said...

I'm not even going to lie: I kind of want one of those go karts.

N/A said...

I think Nonplussed Foraging Dude should join Snob's posse.

NHcycler said...

Those Big Wheel trikes were the best! You'd better believe that they'd go to toy trike "Woo Hoo" speed when we'd point them downhill, on the road, sans helment, and no parents in sight.

That is, until the wheel developed the inevitable flat spot! Then, the wheel wouldn't roll down the hill, it would just skid with no steering. It could even go off-road, sometimes intentionally!

Glory days, they'll pass you by, glory days, in the wink of a young girl's eye...

NHcycler said...

Where can I contribute to the Ass vs. Elbow app? That would make my day so much easier in so many ways!

Anonymous said...

"No helmet and aero bars?"

Did not watch the entire video, but I believe she is wearing a helmet when she is riding. She switches to the knit pom pom hat while being interviewed. But I don't know, maybe being interviewed for local TV news is a dangerous activity requiring safety equipment.

babble on said...

What we really need is an app that shoves a big old bent in the middle elbow up the ass of every single fucktarded driver who looks at their phone whilst behind the wheel. And I'm sorry, but when the Florida special report started in on the bit about how it isn't always the fault of drivers when cyclists die, I turned it off. Because here in Canada, anyway, it is driver error at fault 94% of the time. And I'm sorry, but bigger danger = greater duty of care, so drivers should just slow the fuck down and stop killing people already. IMPO.

babble on said...

Actually, I am not sorry at all. Sorry, not sorry.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

21 CLUB!

dancesonpedals said...

I think Babble's 10:29 comment is going to win CCOD (Canadian Comment Of the Day) (if not all time)

She considers violence against killers, then apologizes for not apologizing about the thought.

Anonymous said...

To Ted K's point, I feel like I had zero say in something that directly impacts me and the quality of my work day, Snob's decision to take a week away from this blog. :-/

Anonymous said...

Canada is the friendlier, cleaner version of America.

I aren't a robot

bad boy of the north said...

I think that app would require a 3D copier....though the copier would be burned out in quick fashion.

winkybiker said...

Is it ever cold enough in Florida that one needs to wear a puffy while cycling? I guess it is. Colour me surprised.

dnk said...

International Winter Bike to Work Day --- looks like NYPD got the memo! They were on First Ave this morning near 20th Street busting folks in the bike lane. Weirdly, in 16-degree weather.

babble on said...

Thank you, Mr dop!! Heh. Did I contemplate violence against drivers? Yep, I suppose the elbow in arse app is a bit violent. And in an udderly Canadian sentiment, I am still #sorrynotsorry.

Schitty Pete said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dancesonpedals said...

By the way, before February 12th was International ride your bike etc, it was celebrated as Lincoln's Birthday.


You'd think the president of the United States could afford a haircut now and then.

N/A said...

@ Schitty Pete said...
"you are such an attention-seeking"


Have you ever heard about people in glass houses?

Mike in Dallas said...

That officer was incorrect. It's not as far to the right as "possible". Florida law says "practicable". Maybe WCRM can avail us with his knowledge of the English language (or American, at least), what the difference is.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

I was around before they banned taintscrapers in the five boroughs.

bikeshepherd said...

shitty pete, suck it.. babble is right and you are a jerk

Daniel said...

Before it was Lincoln's Birthday, it was celebrated as Charles Darwin's Birthday

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

@Schitty Pete -


There's schitt, then there's the schitt that sticks to the side of the bowl. The comment section unfortunately doesn't have one of those brushes in a floor holder like people leave near their toilets.

madman across the water said...

nothing like dragging the day down,schitty pete.why don't you go back to youtube and continue to upload those "shitty" and booooriiinggg videos.

bad boy of the north said...

ahhh........feeling all the love around valentine's day weekend?

janinedm said...

Great, who's this asshole?

N/A said...

Who're you pointing at?

Stoopid Cupid said...

C'mon it's Valentine's! Where's the love?

Who else went with the heart shaped Russell Stover's and a vibrating cock ring?

COCK RING

XTRA BATT

janinedm said...

That Pete guy. I don't see any other assholes here. I think Ted K is a computer and computers can't be assholes.

madman across the water said...

like bryan said.....perhaps it'll be "lord of the flies" this week.it sure doesn't look like like "lord of the dance".

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

There are so many things in short supply nowadays. I count oxygen as one of them.
Do your part to combat oxygen waste schitty pete and stop consuming it.

Or you could try out for the George Washington Bridge Swim Team.




vsk, Babble Rouser !!



madman across the water said...

meant one like.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

janinedm said...
Great, who's this asshole?

Well played!



vsk

Ignorance is 9/10 of the law said...

Um,


Isn't the FRAP law in Florida related to keeping to the right of the roadway, NOT where the curb is, i.e., next to the curb as the LEO douchebag says.
That is outside of the operating part of the roadway, next to the shoulder.
YOu don't have to leave the roadway to be operating to the right of other traffic.

Law enforcement keeps on spewing and enforcing bullshit with authority.

When in doubt, just make shit up and bluff until you're busted. Then sue.
That's the American Way!

Floridian cyclist advocacy wonks, and lawyers, set me stright if I'm making shit up and bluffing until I'm busted.

Thank you!

dancesonpedals said...

What is the etiquette regarding shit brushes? I don't ask you to clean my toilet, why should I have to chamois the bowl at your house, just cuz I took a dump. I thought that was what the bowl was for. If I leave a deuce in your planter (or hibachi) that's a different story.

Regular guy said...

Pete, Schmeet, what I'm mad about is this International Bike to Work in Winter day or whatever, I ride to work every day anyways, so I figure, fine, I'll "commit" to ride, thinking maybe there will be some schwag, maybe a hot cup of coffee at a tent somewhere, its 2 degrees F here with 25 mph head winds, and what do I get? nothing, no tent, no coffee, no schwag, I see photos of IBWD from around the world, they got tents, handing out coffee, cookies, schwag, and here in what is often rated the "most bike friendly" metro area in the U.S. there's nothing, the Russians had tents, the Finns had tents, the Ukrainians were giving out cookies, and they're having an after party in Winnipeg for crying out loud, me, I'll ride home, it will be just as cold, and the damn wind is supposed to die down so I won't even get a tailwind. Criminy!

McFly said...

Attention-seeking bimbo? You know what my pa always said about girls like that.......

Date 'em.

Anonymous said...

Flat spots on your Big Wheel wheels? Don't let that stop you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebRI4kFmR7U

HORN BALL said...

I want more udderly Canadian comments by Babble on VIDEO!

My old Udderly Canadian VHS tape is worn out.

rudy jenkins said...

We love you too. Have a great week off.

crosspalms said...

I decided it was International Winter Bike to the Grocery Day, so that's what I did. Glad I didn't go any farther, it's 20 here (I know that makes me a woosie after Regular guy's post, but if the ludicrous shoe fits ...).

Pete, you have no idea how much Babble classes this place up. If smart funny women rub you the wrong way (actually smart funny women probably don't rub you at all), you can always hang out with the anonymous who left in a huff the other day.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

DOP @12:37

I agree and believe those brushes are only intended for the occupants of said house, not the guests. And thanks for the perfect term shit bruises, urban dictionary doesn't even have it yet!

Anonymous said...

It's going to be colder than a witch's tit in Cleveland on valentine's day. Don't let your scranus turn blue.

Anonymous said...

Babble On... She funny, I laugh. Bueno!

Peet no funny, no laugh. No Bueno!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Cool, you're taking some time off to go shopping for a fatbike.

Very Slim Pickins said...

A week off that's actually a week long. Excellent. Enjoy.

streepo said...

"I'll have moron that at 10:30"

Very Slim Pickins said...

Ms. Babble - Canadian Fountain of Truth: "a big old bent in the middle elbow up the ass of every single fucktarded driver who looks at their phone whilst behind the wheel" I'd think two elbows, but then the driver wouldn't have even one hand on the wheel, and would gleefully yell "look mom, no hands".

Anonymous said...

crosspalms said rub. Heh heh heh.

Regular guy said...

Please, keep your weak shhh long out of it.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Schitty Pete --

My dog noted your comment by observing that people in glass houses often live in their parents' basement.

I didn't ask him to explain.

Please don't make him post a Babble On-centric version of "Leave Britney Alone." No one wants that.

Ride warmly all!

grog said...

Babble you is loved.
Snobbie you is loved.
Recumbabe you is loved.
RIDE NICE
FUNK WHIZ
SCHI DAMN
WOOO HOOO

N/A said...

Please don't make him post a Babble On-centric version of "Leave Britney Alone." No one wants that.


I would TOTALLY watch that.

NHdaydreamer said...

Here in Olde Newe Englande they say itll be so cold --How cold? ..so cold this V'day that you won't be able to breathe much less ride.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...hey, wait a minute... that Schitty Pete is a disguise. But who could it be?

...we can rule out Leroy's Dog because Schitty is not funny... not even worthy of scooping up Leroy's Dog's poop.

Federico F. Fredriksen said...

I like the title of the news story there - Bike Danger makes it sound like cyclists are rampaging through town killing all the poor, helpless motorists. I'm assuming Florida is one of the most deadly states because it's almost impossible to avoid hitting a senior citizen as you fly down a sidewalk on your bike without a helment.

Roille Figners said...

Janine getting lol's AGAIN with the same line

NourskSiklist said...

He'll fit right in. Who's his manager? Have his people call Snob's people, so they can have lunch.

DB said...

I still want to know when Ted K graduated from high school so I can look up his Billboard 100.
May explain a lot.
Polar Vortex is now in Northwest Illinois. No biking this weekend. Went to liquor store and stocked up for the No BSNYC Week.

DB said...

LA Marathon Sunday.
They issued a heat warning if you're running. 87 degrees.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ted K completed his high school education when he was 16. He was a bit of a child prodigy and was accepted into Harvard in 1958.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Born in 1942 that would make his high school grad year '58.

dop said...

It was all that LSD the psych profs fed him.

Roille Figners said...

"At least Ted K thinks before he opens his mouth..."

Well "Ted K" (being a bot) doesn't really "think" nor does "he" have a "mouth." Whereas the actual Ted K, he thinks too much, before he mails somebody a bomb.

Anyway I'm pro-Babs. Meanwhile Florida - look out: BICYCLE DANGERS!!!!!!!

Roille Figners said...

Ass or Elbow, my proposal: Uses a deep learning algorithm trained with millions of images of asses (very easy to find) and elbows (a bit more rare). You point your phone's camera at something, and it tells you, "This is an ass," or "This is an elbow." Then there are buttons to upload it to social media. Cost per download: $10 because if you don't know your ass from your elbow then you deserve to pay more. Ted K let's work on this together on Github. We'll be RICH. Or do you still not believe people, even smart people, want to talk about stupid shit.

DB said...

Hmm..
I think Ted K listened to better music than I did.
Big Bopper, Frank Sinatra, Ricky Nelson beats Bread and The Partridge Family.
Can't blame music for his problems.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Overly bulbous heels? Meh.

Overly bulbous pudendum? Best thing EVER?

wishiwasmerckx said...

It's waay too early for spring break. What obscure Jewish holiday is closing NYC schools for a week?

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and "Sorry, not sorry" may be the most Canadian thing I have ever heard. Is that really a thing?

Spokey said...

so not having read any posts (other than today's) this week and being in the lands of sun and warmth, i managed to ace the quiz anyway. so much for all my studying in the past. from now onwards, it's gonna be pure guessing and lassie luck for me.

and the damn fire is still going. only good thing is they closed 206 again so the dang northerners cain't come down and bother us.

came back via miami and saw some nice biek-sickening lanes so floridee does have 'em. but also saw a few no shoulder no lane high speed roads by the aeroporto that gave me the heebie-jeebies walking on the narrow sidlewalk from the hotel to the nearest liquor store.

wandered over to south beach for lunch one day. once is enough. don't bother.

glad i'm back for the coldest weekender yet.

oh, and the mayans appear to be all gone. don't know where they went but all their places were empty. and not kept up very well either.

NourskSiklist said...

Happy half-term holiday, Snob. If the 17 children fall asleep after pickpocketing at the casinoes, maybe there'll be time for a ride on The Fat Bike That Marin Owns. It occurred to me that maybe Ted K. is in reality the Snob, spicing up the comments section. But... nah. Trolling his own blog? He would never do that. It was a good week of posts, to be sure. Lots of talk and comments about "getting old", so I had to get in the inter nets tiem machein, and look back at the archives. Followed this blog almost from the start, and I gotta say, Snob's game is still very sharp and consistent with previous exploits. Funny to think, that the Hipsters and their fixies that he gave the what-for back in '07, are now almost a decade older. Pistas either sold or scrapped, bodies covered in faded sailor tattoos, couple of kids running around. Working. Being ancient (past thirty), past it, nearly dead from withering and old age. Tragic. But it was an honest kind of stupid. The frenzy of MAMILS and MAMBS (baggy shorts) buying $7,000 bieks that far surpass their requirements, that's indecent. Makers know where the money's at, and target their marketing accordingly. Specialized have their teeth sunken deep in the throats of 30+ dudes and bros, and the spending is awesome to behold. I admire the Snob's work. There is, and will be, a wealth of material for him to work with.

Domo arigato, mister robotto

BikeSnobNYC said...

wishiwasmerckx,

Mid-winter recess. Secular!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Babble: smart, pretty, passionate bike rider, great legs! // “Schitty Pete” = sour asshole.

Anonymous said...

http://www.thrashermagazine.com/articles/videos/jaws-vs-the-lyon-25/
Madness. WHERE IS HIS HELMENT

Anonymous said...

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Dooth said...

Well, aren't those red Fred slippers special? Wear them and then click your heels three times and say...

Excuse Me said...

Sorry for not being sorry is a sorry excuse.

Knows that Ted K counts said...

YOU cannot count. You were #2...
Loser

Dooth said...

Oh, and give Schitty Pete a break...think about his traumatic childhood, growing up with brother Pissy Paul, sister Crappy Carol, and parents Papi Cock and Mamma Rag.

bad boy of the north said...

...and so the weekend begins...

Rodin said...

Babs doesn't think before she speaks, she ponders.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Wow, SHITTY Pete, you have set the all time, single day record for hateful comments directed at one contributer to the commentariat. I think the vitriol towards you has surpassed the mechanical Ted K and the overly verbose sexual fantasies of CJ, COMBINED!

You cannot attack Babs in that fashion! She is our queen, our den mother, our voice of reason, yet she rides with bigger balls than you ever had. She also has one hell of a pair of legs, not lost on a largely male segment of the population.

bieks said...

I rode to work yesterday without registering for winter bike to work day.

Question: Will I get in trouble or should I just feel smug about it?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Dooth @ 7:57 PM 2/12/16

"Well, aren't those red Fred slippers special? Wear them and then click your heels three times and say..."

There's no speed like Fred Woo-Hoo speed!

babble on said...

Wow! I'm touched. Thank you, good peeples. You are very kind. Definitely feeling the loooove this Valentines Day!!

Heh. Queen Bee indeed. Pope of the dopes. :)

ken e. said...

i'm back, what happened?

WNTR ESCP
MISS BLOG

SORI CNDS
LWYS SORI

Holy Roller said...

Praise the Lord'

N/A said...

, and pass the taters!

Anonymous said...

Non-plussed foraging guy is Hugh Christopher Edmund Fearnley-Whittingstall. I thought he would be famous in our former colonies for his celebrity chefness. Maybe he's just too much. He's certainly posher than Gordon F*cking Ramsay.

That's not a bike...THIS is a bike

leroy said...

Well look who got me a special Valentine's Day card.

I know he'd want me to share the thought.

Very Slim Pickins said...

Sending out Valentine's Day Kisses to Babble, Road Queen, Frilly Chick and Janine.

bad boy of the north said...

ohmygosh!check out golf bikes......the apocalypse is upon us!maybe golfclubexchange.net could direct me....not.

bad boy of the north said...

..and then.....check out "playing golf with bikes tinkoff saxo" on u-tubee.this should continue the middle-age discussion.like our little missy from BC,sorry not sorry..not a golf fan.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

BBN, Well, that's asinine! Especially in full kit, though the only attire more ridiculous than cycling gear is golf clothing. Snobby could even design a tasteless plaid hat with a big pom pom on top. Imagine the possibilities, though........changable wheels with different wedges for better loft.....I'm sure there is an ideal HT / ST angle for driving, pitching and putting. Imagine the number of bikes you would need to compete with a full bag of clubs!

dop said...

I worry about the shoes. I couldn't use my looks while golfing. I could get a custom-made pair of golfer footjoys, with an spd recess, for walkability after clipout. It's probably better to go diy and customize my spd shoes with little screw-in golf spikes.

dop said...

Oh lord, no.

bad boy of the north said...

POC,maybe walz caps...a nice woolen one.kinda like fat bastard of austin powers.or old man brooks.......maybe rapha.
dop,you'd have to change your name to dancesongolfshoes....yikes!
if louren hadn't put the insect in my little brain....

bad boy of the north said...

walz...sort of has them....not quite.

babble on said...

And if you're planning to have sex on the golf course you will of course need plenty of FOREplay!!

bad boy of the north said...

babble.........ouch!and you said "course".

babble on said...

Twice!!! And doesn't hole in one just sound dirty? Heh. Never mind all of those sweet little strokes...

N/A said...

I knew a girl that liked the back 9 best.

dop said...

Such speech has no place in golf.

bad boy of the north said...

it's in the hole!!!it's in the hole!!!

bad boy of the north said...

and don't forget "sand trap"...:>

bad boy of the north said...

dop,nice,uh,bike.yeah,yeah,that's it.

bad boy of the north said...

well,gotta feel warm thoughts after 6 below American degrees this weekend.

Very Slim Pickins said...

Babble - don't forget that golf clubs have SHAFTS and the DRIVER has a HEAD at the end of it's SHAFT.

dop said...

Golfers never stop working on their putts.

Dooth said...

Lieutenant Obvious,

Aha!

Speaking of golf, every time I play Van Cortland I'm on the lookout for Wildcat...his favorite bike path cuts right through the course; it's fenced-in, shrouded by trees, but cyclists and joggers are still a bit visible. YO WILDCAT!!!...think that's what I'll say. Fair warning.

bad boy of the north said...

dooth,wouldn't that be fairway warning?

dancesonpedals said...

Van Cortland Trivia: (maybe Dooth can confirm). There's a scene with Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen talking in a locker room, meant to be an expensive, waspy club. The scene was actually shot in the locker room of Van Cortland Golf Course.

leroy said...

The Van Cortland Park Golf Course locker room?

My dog claims to have urinated there when passing through on a longish ride.

Dear lord I hope they have a bathroom.

Roille Figners said...

Van Cortlandt Park - RIP Cyrus who almost managed to unite all the gangs.

bad boy of the north said...

dop,according to nyc parks website.......yep.(wall street)

bad boy of the north said...

riverside park...in place of vcp

bad boy of the north said...

signing off.ride safe.

babble on said...

Heh heh heh...forget Yoda. I just heard a guy talking about how well he isn't ageing. He said "Yeah, I'm doing it the Clint Eastwood way. I am just going to get wrinklier and wrinklier as time goes on, 'till one day I look like a scrotum with eyes."

:D

Dooth said...

DOP, that Wall Street scene was shot there. Though the clubhouse was renovated, the locker room was left intact.

Rollie, yes, The Warriors too.

The Wanderers rumble with the Duckie Boys at the nearby football stadium, also.

Yeah, the Bronx and gangs are old hat (don't want to relive those wild 70's).

bad boy, "fairway warning"--nice--that's what fore is for.

bad boy of the north said...

I guess I stand partially corrected.

bad boy of the north said...

dooth,except in "caddyshack" Rodney says"i should have yelled two".

Teed Off said...

I hear that a golf course is a good place to meet swingers.

Link said...

As a cyclist I tend to avoid golf because I don't like drivers.

Eric the Infrequent said...

Guess you'll stick with putt putt then.

Anonymous said...

PODIOOOO

dnk said...

I've got time

To roll a number

And rent a car.

Happy Unicorn said...

SCRANUS

Roille Figners said...

Find some fried eggs & cunty ham

-Satanley Wiggins

Very Slim Pickins said...

Arnold Palmer on the Tonight Show:
Johnny Carson: How does your wife wish you good luck before a tournament" (or something to that effect)
AP: She kisses my balls
JC: That must get his putter up.

Dooth said...

bad boy, hell yeah! Rodney gets much respect from me...so many great quotes from Caddyshack; even its very last lines ,Rodney's, "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!" had the theater roaring.

All this golf talk is making me thirsty.

P. Bateman said...

back on the east coast finally. turns out bikeen in the redwood forests of eureka/arcata involves way the hell more steep ass climbs than in florida. who knew?

pretty up there.

also a great place to recruit members for your Communist performing arts and book club.

wishiwasmerckx said...

What a slog. I cannot even SEE the 200th comment podium from here...

Zen Master said...

Do you know what I fucking hate? I fucking hate golf! What the fuck is the fucking point of fucking hitting a fucking ball with a stick for hours on end? I get so angry when I turn on the tv and some fucking idiots are fucking wasting my viewing time by fucking walking around in a field after a stupid ball that they hit with a fucking stick, as soon as as I see it I start yelling at the fucking tv and then my stupid fucking neighbour starts fucking pounding on the apartment wall and I want to stuff a golf ball down his fucking throat and lay him to fucking waste with a Big Bertha! It's almost as bad as watching bike racing.

Jordan Wood said...

Interesting blog thanks - take a look at http://www.micro-scooters.co.uk/ for the latest in kids scooters.

Anonymous said...

micro-scootersnobnyc.blogpot.com

bad boy of the north said...

dooth,i agree about Rodney.the second caddyshack.......I don't even know a quote from that fiasco.
come on,peeps!wake up!

bad boy of the north said...

uhhhh.....mopedsnobnyc.blogspot.com

N/A said...


Oh man, are fat mopeds a thing?

bad boy of the north said...

easy to check,N\A.i don't know how to link....

bad boy of the north said...

uh...lots of fat chicks on bikes....so far.

bad boy of the north said...

image-wise.

N/A said...

Hahaha, I was just kidding but, man, browsing for "fat moped" on a popular searching engine yields absolute GOLD!

bad boy of the north said...

yup......gold.let the games begin.

dnk said...

@Roille Figners 3:06 pm yesterday:

You got it.

I've had a hankering to hear that record for a while but somehow middle-aged mediocrity keeps me from listening to music. Though this past weekend I put it on about 5 times.

Good stuff.

DB said...

Ha!
The Onion just ranked Bard College #1 Dinner Party school.

dancesonpedals said...

OK Everyone...Let's play WCRM. See if you can come up with pithy commentary about this NY Times piece on cargo bike moving men. No points for "smugness factor", unless you say it in a really silly way. 2 points for a deft reference (def ref) on Portland. 1 point for Brooklyn.

Fielding Mellish said...

Yeth. Pith.

Anonymous said...

"Fraternal Beneficiary Society"? Is that a combination frat house and retirement home? A place where you can behave like a 13 year old boy for your entire life? Or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing... Maybe drinking coconut juice while blowing on fingers was a euphemism.

N/A said...

I've never driven a zamboni like that guy in the article. I wonder how I'm able to handle my biek with a loaded basket on the front? That's not something you just jump into. You need zamboni training. I guess I'm just a natural! Oh man, I'm totally going to start a moving business with my bike.

N/A said...

Also: that writer sucks. Paid by the word, I'd guess by his abundance of adjectives, and crappy analogies.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

The group aims to achieve “a radical reduction of New York City’s dependency on automobiles.” Accompanied by an inversely proportionate increase in smugness and douchery!

dancesonpedals said...

These guys would be great to hire if none of your friends had cars.

dancesonpedals said...

Don't get me started on Justin Smith's Flying Rasta man-bun mullet

Roille Figners said...

"So eclectic, the city! Let's move there honey!" --dude from Dubuque

Roille Figners said...

eclectic - the #2 most important word of the 90s(*)








(*) #1 was a tie between arugula and blackened

Roille Figners said...

New York's getting bike moves.

Portland's getting high rent.


Seems like they'll soon be the exact same place!

leroy said...

Oh great.

Karaoke line up tonight now includes "It's eclectic. Boogie oogie oogie oogie."

My dog is so impressionable.

Oh well. Could have been worse.

Could have been "De do do do, De da da da; Arugula I say to you."

crosspalms said...

I thought arugula was the sound those old-timey car horns made. I plan to mount one of them on my dedicated moving bike. I'll reuse the one from the dedicated chimney-sweep bike I'm selling on Craigslist.

Roille Figners said...

crosspalms - I assume that's a non-gravel, non-snow, pavement-only, chimney-sweep bike?

Roille Figners said...

If you mispronounce it you can do the Heart song... ya got me down, down, down, down, on my knees, ooohhhh, aruGUla

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Zen Master,

I think you might have meant 'It's almost as bad as watching fucking bike racing'.

Dooth said...

The Fraternal Beneficiary Society dropped a rap record called Bust a Cargo Move.

Current Tastes said...

Is there a better way to check the condition of a nine volt battery than touching the contacts to your tounge?

bad boy of the north said...

flyaway manbun

Anonymous said...

So that's what Jason Lee is up to these days...GOAL!

Frickus Rungus said...

crosspalms - #whatkindofbristlesareyourunning?
Are they wire or poly? Or are you using carbon fibers from recycled fred sleds?
Are you palping a nylon, polypropylene, fiberglass or metal rod for the brush?
Which is more important when choosing a dedicated chimney sweep bike: wheel or brush diameter? Can they be different, or does the UCI require equal sizes?

Anonymous said...

I hope you liked it here

P. Bateman said...

i didn't. i didnt liked it here at awl.

Anonymous said...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/recreational-cycling/ride2love-introducing-the-new-dating-site-for-cyclists/

wishiwasmerckx said...

"The Ultimate Bicycle Owner's Manual: The Universal Guide to Bikes, Riding, and Everything for Beginner and Seasoned Cyclists" by Eben Weiss. Now available for preorder on barnesandnoble.com.

And here all these mornings with late postings we thought BSNYC was busy spanking the vito...

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob is not just phoning it in on his blogulation, he's also phoning it in on old fashioned media...

bad boy of the north said...

wow...wishy.i thought the big boss man was gonna let us know,unless he already had,about his writing assignment.well,now that the cat6 is out of the bag....congrats,mr.bsnyc.author!author!

bad boy of the north said...

yep not a typo...cat6 out of the bag.anyways,when do we all get a signed copy?hmmm?

Ooohhhh, aruGUla, Music to my Ears said...

RF 546 "ooohhhh, aruGUla" There's a lake in Massachusetts named Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg. I believe it's the indian name for "ooohhhh, aruGUla", the tribe that named it is long gone. But the sound is still often heard in Squaw Valley Utah.

Holy Roller said...

What ever happened to Robert Tilton? I still have one of his 'Miracle Prayer Cloths' and a vial of 'Blessed Holy Water' which when I prayerfully use gives me the great speed and stamina needed to lay the other sinners on bikes to waste.

Roille Figners said...

Welp I for one just finished me two a them bieksnob books. Next up is to read my wife's book. Hers was third because it's larger. The smallest books go on the top of the pile, and get read first, that's just how it works. So if you want me to read your book first, make it small.

2016 grammy awards adele said...

Are they wire or poly? Or are you using carbon fibers from recycled fred sleds?
2016 grammy awards adele

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Friday Fun Quiz
What world famous bike blogger just had his most recent book published and then took the entire week of to take his 17 kids to Disney world? (In the process, abandoning his loyal following of hooligans,misfits, psuedofreds and the occasional poser.)

dancesonpedals said...

I thought Arugula, Arugula...was the lyrics for the backup singers in 'Lion Sleeps tonight'

bad boy of the north said...

I know!i know!

DB said...

Going to go back and reread Snob's Trilogy before tackling the new one.
Important to have continuity.
In other news, if you're bored today (or stoned) Shia Lebeouf is live streaming from a London elevator for 24 hours as an art project.
ART!

McFly said...

WOO HOO HOOOOOO 62 degrees Amerikun with marginally moist scranus conditions here in West Tn. Taking a half a day of GTFO and rolling over to Montgomery Bell State Park for some sweet ass shreddin' the gnarl pushin' phat cones mountain beik action. (Not sure what any of that means)

dancesonpedals said...

Shia LeBeouf!

eeny said...

eeny

meeny said...

meeny

my knee said...

my knee

dancesonpedals said...

double century mo!!

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