(I predict a gradual warming trend through August.)
You know what that means? It means you'd better order yourself a new sporty bicycle-riding shirt with short sleeves in time for the spring season!
(Warning: will not protect wearer against Cleveland Steamers.)
I can't wait until it's warm enough to wear mine. Expect to find me in the coming months scoping out the route for the BSNYC Gran Fondon't, looking sharp in my self-promotional chemise, and doing my very best to ignore you.
Meanwhile, the UCI is soon going to publish its "CIRC report," on which they've spend three million units of that currency that's like a letter "E" but with two lines through it:
"When you open a can of worms you find a lot of worms," Cookson said. "I think it’s going to be very interesting - there will be a lot of uncomfortable things there.”
"We should all prepare ourselves for that. That was always going to be part of what was going to happen. I don’t think there will be a lot of new revelations, because mostly we have a good idea of what was happening and how widespread the problems were."
So basically it's just telling us what we already know, which is that pro cycling is a cesspool and it's been filthy dirty since day one?
Sounds like money well spent.
For their next project they should spend €3 million to determine whether or not the Earth is round.
Lastly, who among us has not considered doing this at one point or another?
I'd never actually do it myself, but that doesn't mean I can't live vicariously through the guy who did.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right all your sins will be forgiven, and if you're wrong you'll see primitive humans.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and hold onto that smartphone.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
(A furious velocipedist.)
1) In which year did "The Great Velocipedal Furor" take place?
--1869
--1896
--1986
--Yesterday, around noonish
2) What is she doing?
--Riding a beach cruiser
--Getting "rad" on a Bikeboard
--Stoking a tandem
--Using a walker because she broke her hip on a Bikeboard
(Schleck sells cycles by the seashore.)
3) Andy Schleck's bike shop will be called:
--"Schleck's Cyclery"
--"The Schleckery"
--"Schleck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself"
--None of the above
4) The name "Schleck" is synonymous with "finely tuned bicycles."
--True
--False
5) What is this design?
--A tandem poncho for riding three abreast
--A field of buttercups
--A three-egg omelette
--A symptom of Copenhagen's dentist shortage which requires them to treat up to three patients at a time
6) The "Fat Slow Triathlete" clothing brand failed to meet its funding goals because:
--They need a better logo
--Plus-size workout gear is already readily available at Walmart
--"Fat" and "Slow" are already implied in the word "Triathlete"
--All of the above
(Proprietary RFT™ reverse fork technology for precise handling.)
7) The Triax Fracture fat bike is available at:
--Walmart
--Target
--Kmart
***Special Encore Performance-Themed Bonus Video!***
