Friday, March 6, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Yesterday Mother Nature dropped yet another big white Cleveland Steamer on our chest, but the snow has stopped and the weather is finally beginning to look up:


(I predict a gradual warming trend through August.)

You know what that means?  It means you'd better order yourself a new sporty bicycle-riding shirt with short sleeves in time for the spring season!


(Warning: will not protect wearer against Cleveland Steamers.)

I can't wait until it's warm enough to wear mine.  Expect to find me in the coming months scoping out the route for the BSNYC Gran Fondon't, looking sharp in my self-promotional chemise, and doing my very best to ignore you.

Meanwhile, the UCI is soon going to publish its "CIRC report," on which they've spend three million units of that currency that's like a letter "E" but with two lines through it:


"When you open a can of worms you find a lot of worms," Cookson said. "I think it’s going to be very interesting - there will be a lot of uncomfortable things there.”

"We should all prepare ourselves for that. That was always going to be part of what was going to happen. I don’t think there will be a lot of new revelations, because mostly we have a good idea of what was happening and how widespread the problems were."

So basically it's just telling us what we already know, which is that pro cycling is a cesspool and it's been filthy dirty since day one?

Sounds like money well spent.

For their next project they should spend €3 million to determine whether or not the Earth is round.

Lastly, who among us has not considered doing this at one point or another?


I'd never actually do it myself, but that doesn't mean I can't live vicariously through the guy who did.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right all your sins will be forgiven, and if you're wrong you'll see primitive humans.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and hold onto that smartphone.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





(A furious velocipedist.)

1) In which year did "The Great Velocipedal Furor" take place?

--1869
--1896
--1986
--Yesterday, around noonish






2) What is she doing?

--Riding a beach cruiser
--Getting "rad" on a Bikeboard
--Stoking a tandem
--Using a walker because she broke her hip on a Bikeboard






(Schleck sells cycles by the seashore.)

3) Andy Schleck's bike shop will be called:

--"Schleck's Cyclery"
--"The Schleckery"
--"Schleck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself"
--None of the above







4) The name "Schleck" is synonymous with "finely tuned bicycles."

--True
--False






5) What is this design?

--A tandem poncho for riding three abreast
--A field of buttercups
--A three-egg omelette
--A symptom of Copenhagen's dentist shortage which requires them to treat up to three patients at a time








6) The "Fat Slow Triathlete" clothing brand failed to meet its funding goals because:

--They need a better logo
--Plus-size workout gear is already readily available at Walmart
--"Fat" and "Slow" are already implied in the word "Triathlete"
--All of the above







(Proprietary RFT™ reverse fork technology for precise handling.)

7) The Triax Fracture fat bike is available at:



***Special Encore Performance-Themed Bonus Video!***


88 comments:

Old-timer said...

Get the HELL out of my way!!!!

T.G.I.F.

Rapha!

Anonymous said...

Get the HELL out of my way!!!!

T.G.I.F.

Rapha!

Anonymous said...

PODIUMMMMMMMMMM

Twob Rake said...

pah

817 said...

I made it

Craig Richards said...

Never been tempted to steal while riding. However I am more than willing to reach into someone's car, grab their phone out of their hand and smash it right there on the pavement.

groanhammer said...

here i am please tell me i matter

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

Two Claws said...

Two claws up!

817 said...

stupid robot. I was on my way to podium!!!

bad boy of the north said...

top ten....!

bad boy of the north said...

awww...just missed it.ok...top twenty.

Anonymous said...

Top XV?

Anonymous said...

I wonder how the smart phone is going to impact the ongoing physical evolution of humans? I would guess that in a few generations we will all be near-sighted, our necks permanently bent at a 90% angle and have tiny yet agile thumbs. Nothing against the smart phone just our total misuse of it like the guy in the video walking down the street with is face in his phone completely oblivious to his surroundings, while he is probably texting something as earth shatteringly important as "I just got off the train and should be home in 5 minutes". Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with us?

DB said...

Earlier this week I predicted my death would be caused by driving alongside a train full of petroleum tankers from North Dakota on their way to wherever they go, and they would derail and explode and that'd be that.
Yesterday, it happened here in Galena and you'll be happy to know Im still here. The train, or bomb trains as we call them, derailed away from the highway so all is well except the environment.
Sorry to say, I think we need that pipeline. Has to be safer than trucks and trains.
Good quiz today, Wildcat. The warmup next week is courtesy of Burlington Northern and the Bakkan Oil Fields.

PotbellyJoe said...

Meanwhile Lockheed Martin can kill cars with lasers

No word on how much popcorn it can make inside of a house.

I am not a robot, robot's don't sneeze.

David G said...

WCRM sez: "Lastly, who among us has not considered doing this at one point or another? I'd never actually do it myself, but that doesn't mean I can't live vicariously through the guy who did."

Walking around in a daze while people take advantage of you and rip you off? I do it all the time; you should give it a try

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus.

dop said...

oh the humanity

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Amazing bike handling skills. He grabbed the iPhone with his left hand while doing a right direction weave. Quoting The Princess bride - Inconceivable.

Apple Picking said...

Had to be Peter Sagan, what other rider has such hand eye coordination?

il Pirata est Mort said...

Animals that look down will always be preyed upon by animals that don't.

Freddy Murcks said...

I find it sort of quaint when I recall that i once believed that the majority of professional cyclists were clean and that the dopers were the outliers. Presently, I think professional road cycling is a stupid waste of time. The disillusionment is strong with me.

JB said...

Craig, you say you're willing, but have you gone through with it?

K-Bo said...

There was a girl with her arms spread like Jesus on the cross, flourishing a $5 footlong from Sub-Way. I didn't steal the sandwich as I flew past, but I regret it.

Johan 'the puppetmaster' bruynEEL said...

All of today's Podia finishers have failed their UCI administered DOPE TEST. For the small sum of $250,000 per, these test results can be disappeared.

Anonymous said...

Snobbie. Why do you insist on avoiding the subject of 'direct drive bicycles' which are, at best, unicycles disguised as bicycles. Are you being bought off be the DDB lobby? What is your price? I'm thinking life time free Boutique Philly Cheese Steaks for life for you and the wife and miniature snobbies.

SAY IT AIN'T SO!

CommieCanuck said...

Ya betta Schleck Yo'self Before You Wreck Yo'self..

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

My dog bought me a BSNYC jersey, but tells me he forgot to include the warning.

BamaPhred said...

I did run over a phone one time. It was awesome. It was more awesomer cause it wasn't mine. Unfortunately it was just before the dawn of the smarting phone. I think it was a Motorola Razor.
Love the blog, aced the quiz, unleash the Velocipedal Furor!

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Fondon't

Hee Haw the barista said...

I for one welcome our laser brandishing overlords and their promise of a popcorn house future.

grog said...

I will buy my RTMS mug at my LBS: Schleck's Cyclery.
BADR OBOT
MORE BABE
RIDE NICE

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Wondering if "Cleveland Steamer" is just a BSNYCism I binged it, Urban Dictionary says it is a thing. I don't recommend looking it up.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Yeah Cleveland!,

You're from Cleveland and you weren't familiar with your hometown steamer?!?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Ah. Friday. ALL good. Daylight savings Time this weekend: more riding light! Spring in a couple weeks. (Key up The Beatles “Here Comes the Sun”). Snobby’s most excellent interview yesterday - and his welcome promise of more to come! Beautiful Babble hasn’t crashed in a day or two. And, we NEVER TESTED POSITIVE. All good!

BamaPhred said...

PS. Buy a jersey. They are awesome. I want a high vis one, yes, actually. Someone left Cheeto crumbs all over my sofa while I was gone. I guess Snob came by. Ol Missus blamed me so naturally I blamed Snob.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I am fat and slow AND old, but I am not, nor never have been, nor never will be, a triathlete.

Texas John Slaughter said...

The 2nd amendment Quadricycle. Where can I get me one? Thank you in advance for your assistance re this matter.

Alberto Cuntador said...

I retired my ice bike a couple of weeks ago for my snow bike, but now I realize the weather is going to warm up quite a bit and it will be time to take out my slush bike. Wearing my BSNYC kit will still be several bikes ahead unfortunately when I am on my summer VISP Machete in flagrante red.

Dooth said...

Wildcat, a BSNYC beer, er, water bottle, perhaps, someday?

DB said...

That was great, Leroy.
Ask your dog why their noses turn pink in the winter.

P. Bateman said...

Should we organize Fondonts in our respective hometowns and raise money for a charity of Lob's choosing? i assume Lob supports Green Piece or something like that.

i just dont want to Fondont all the way up there in NYC - it would be easier to Fondont down here in Florida (is there any nasty Florida themed sex move like the clevaland steamer or we just stuck with a beach themed move like the Screaming Seagull?) So many questions...



recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

BikesnobNYC,

Give Yeah Cleveland a break he's originally from the Cincinnati area. You know right across the river from Kentucky.

Another smug Californian said...

Too warm for stupid jerseys in the Bay Area this week. I'm sweating down the scranus area just thinking about riding.

BamaPhred said...

No P.Bateman there isn't. You'll just have to make do with FloridaMan's nasty sibling, FloridaWoman. Or the other way around, or both. It's still a lose lose proposition. Just kidding, who am I to cast stones.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for the CIRC report, every morning I check Velonews.com to see if it has broken yet! There has never been this much anticipation in cycling since Lance's reasoned decision.

Liz said...

This is the first time in four years your sense of humour has been out of step with mine. There's nothing amusing or original about being bike-mugged for your phone. It happens all the time in London. It happened to me ten years ago. It's happened to everyone I know. The people who do it aren't making a witty ideological statement about the irony of disconnection in a hyper-connected world; they're just nasty thieves. And getting mugged at Woo-hoo speed is actually really scary.

More info here: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/iphone-muggers-on-bikes-plague-london-8323324.html

BikeSnobNYC said...

Liz,

I'm honestly sorry that happened to you. We have a phone theft problem here too, but instead of snatching the phone out of your hand while riding a bike they just kick women carrying babies.

So there you go.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

bad boy of the north said...

so,leroy,was that the reason I've been married thrice?very funny,by the way.

bad boy of the north said...

what the heck did we do before before we had silly phones?

Anonymous said...

That woman has no idea the danger she put us all in by not using a cross bike.

P. Bateman said...

bamafred - are you suggesting florida women are gross?

i believe FL contributes more models than any other state.LOVE florida women. have a trashy hooters chick chillin on my couch now. she looks like briggete bardot (young brigitte, not the current version).

wishiwasmerckx said...

Florida, you say? Let's see what America's greatest truth-teller has to say about Florida, shall we?

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/video-playlists/7duk8j/the-daily-show-20046-highlights/dic6af?

(you can skip ahead past the gay marriage part to about 4:45 to get a taste of the real Florida.

¥ said...

I think you meant to say it looks like a C with two lines through it instead of an E with two lines through it.

Here, look: €

See? That looks like a C with two lines through it not an E with two lines through it.

I won't lie, I'm a little disappointed at this lapse.

~ ¥

wishiwasmerckx said...

C or E? Who cares? It still looks like Monopoly money.

Anonymous said...

OK, stealing is bad, but last summer there was a guy absorbed in his phone jaywalking in front of me across a busy street (ok, what passes for a busy street in Albany) and I went really close behind him and said "boo" and it was the funnest thing ever.

BamaPhred said...

Hello P.Bateman you're correct, and I don't mean to offend, it just happens. I'm just trying to diversify away from our own state plague, BamaFan and it's less cultured hermaphroditic siblingcousin, AubieFan . Now back to scranus.

bieks said...

Was going to call bullshit on the phone stealing video, but then realized London has cameras everywhere. Still, who would bother to get two angles, especially without the face in the 2nd one, so still calling bullshit.

Anon 12:37 thinks smartphones will be around long enough to cause us to evolve? Didn't exist 8 years ago, probably will be replaced by something else 8 years from now. Bikes on the other hand? They'll still be around, just more douchily so.

Finally, suing Target for false advertising. The photo shows the fork in the forward position. Must have been assembled by the top Target bike mechanic prior to his departure.

babble on said...

Oh. Dear. God.

Some days I learn things here which I would rather not know. That Cleaveland thing? Eeeeeeeeeew. Gross.

And Snob? That youtube video you shared with Liz? OMG!!! That creep is not human. What a fucking monster. Karma's a bitch, and I hope she buries that bastard in the biggest Cleaveland Steamer ever.

But on the bright side, I just got in from a lovely pre-race-day ride in the sunshine. It was 16 degrees Canadian (That is over 60 American degrees!!) and AGAIN I didn't crash. Yay. Life is good.

Oh! and cheers, anonydooderz @2:48... very kind of you :)

And it gets better - tomorrow's race is flat, which suits me just fine. We understand each other, that course and I.

Um, and Snob? Speaking of race days -you mentioned that the spring race season starts the first weekend of March in NYC? So last weekend was your first race weekend of the year, too? Er... how did that work, exactly? Chains? Fatbike roadbikes? Studs? Enquiring minds want to know.

And Liz? I understand your point. Completely. What happened to you totally sucks. Any robbery is a violation, and one like that, up close and personal and at speed would be super scary. I was surprised at Snobberdooder's sentiment when I read it, too. BUT the thing that really burns me about pedestrians here in Vancouver is that very, very many of them have their noses so deeply buried in their mobile devices that they are absolutely oblivious to their surroundings, and a danger to themselves and others. And in that context, I have - more than once- wanted to rip their bloody phones right out of their hands. It's not about robbery, it's about waking them the fuck up.

And I am with Mr Richards @12:21. The number of people on their phones whilst driving is crazy. Madness. Worse, it's murder. Here in BC, distracted driving is now responsible for more deaths than drunk driving. You know how much our beloved Snobi Wan hates Strava? That much do I hate it when people have their faces in their phones on our city streets.

K. Off the soapbox now.

Thanks for that little chuckle, Leroy. You have a lovely way of always brightening my day.

This place rocks. Happy Friday, peeps!

:) xo xo

McFly said...

Easy now steppin' down off that soap box.

Bender said...

Heh.

Anonymous said...

I haven't heard of a Cleveland Steamer but I'm definitely familiar with taking the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl.

Foredi said...

Great post, thanks for sharing cause is inspired for me. Goodluck

Anonymous said...

I'Ve thought about swiping phones for years but i wouldn't know what to do with them except throw them away.

Froome talked with CIRC, so he is probably guilty and has to go. Contador is gone, so is Cav. Same with Cancellara and Boonen.Yep, it's gonna be a white wash. Want 2 clean up cycling? Lower the hemo level to 45. Boom, done! I should get $3 m milly.

Anonymous said...

Hometown Steamer sounds like a good name for a bbq joint.

dop said...

When I was robbed it was so simple. Brooklyn, 1981. The kid showed a gun & my hands went up. His friends went through my pockets, took my money & watch then disappeared.

Fred 'Sparkle' Farkle said...

In the six-day bicycle races of the 1890s, “you’d have heroin, cocaine, strychnine, and sugar cubes soaked in ether,” says John Hoberman, chair of Germanic studies at the University of Texas, Austin and author of the book Mortal Engines: The Science of Performance and the Dehumanization of Sport. “Heroin is a narcotic, so it’s possible they were using it for pain relief. Maybe they were using opium for pain relief. Strychnine is a stimulant—but it’s also rat poison, so you’d better not take too much of it.”

in 2015 the only dope seems to be the fans who deny reality. Try doing a century a day at top speed for three weeks. Straight!

Dave said...

Kickstarter idea: a foam sword something like a katana, to whip off your shoulder as needed and gently knock the phone to the ground, delivering much needed reality check and adrenalin jolt to cretinous user who was texting and riding no-handed, or similar behavior. Only drawback: being summarily shot by police. There is no longer the slightest distinction between toy and real weapons, in the fearful public mind.

Catchy name? DingbatTM? Moron WhackerTM? Cleveland Bonker?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Babs, I share your frustration with the zenlike ignorance of those buried in their cellphones in public places. Being a large human being and having played my share of various contact sport, I have a dream. I would like to acquire a pair of official NFL shoulder pads, patrol the streets of Manhattan, and level anyone who is self absorbed enough to have their heads up their own ass while mindlessly wandering the crowded streets of NYC, or any other metropolis.

Fortunately, it is only a dream

McFly said...

Cell phones can be fun, though. Here in The Frozen Dingleberry on Canadia's Scranus hunny bunny was waiting on a text from the Head Cheese Thursday night saying work would be cancelled Friday, so every 15-20 minutes I would just sent a blank text to watch her light up.

That and Titty Tuesday Text. TTT is nice.

GetAGrip said...

I saw this guy, squatting down by the side of the road, inflating a tire with a mini-pump, the whole setup positioned between his legs... It really looked like he was engaged in another sort of activity. Would have made an interesting video clip that would be hard to beat.

Freddie Fredrickson said...

Uma! Contact me immediately! Rapid inflation deflation required at once!

Does anyone really know what time it is? said...

Change your clocks!

BeBe said...

Who should I invite on my tandem of peace

meltyman said...

Dammit Yeah Cleveland! You might have warned us.

Johnny MiniWadd said...

Uma. You left your dental retainer at my place. I'll hold it till next inflation/rapid deflation session. Sorry about the facial splooge. If your were a guy you would realize how truly difficult it is to successfully manage ones ejaculatory spasms in time and space.

babble on said...

Oh here we go... the CIRC -cyclisme dopage- report is out.

The gloves are off, but the more things change, the more they stay the same.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Giuseppe Tomasi de Lampedusa said...

In order to stay the same, things will have to change

Old-timer said...

Lanterne Rouge!

Anonymous said...

brussels bike jungle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSFHsuNdYjA

endo-king said...

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cycling/31788505endo

JLRB said...

Sleet
Salt
Sand
Cinders
Slush
SUCK

John Cleese said...

Brussels Bike Jungle? Just don't say the word 'Belgians'

animal planet said...

Professional looks which I expected.
Tarun Singh

Foredi said...

thanks for sharing. Goodluck

Susu Kambing higoat said...

nice article to be follow.....