Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Wednesday comes but once a week.

Further to yesterday's post, in which I discussed sportswriter Bob Ryan's dumbfuckulous tweet, at least two readers have since reached out to the old fusspot and received responses.  Here's what he said to Ray:

Rather obvious. Whatever the benefits of cycling may be, getting killed or maimed on one of our streets or highways is not worth it. This country is not set up to accommodate cyclists safely. This is
news?

This is a great point, because nobody is ever killed or maimed while driving, and of course our country accommodates cars spectacularly well, which is why drivers never get stuck in traffic jams or have difficulty parking.

And here's his reply to Esteemed Commenter and Boston Area Correspondent Daddo One:

Oh, gee. Just living in America and seeing the impracticality of bicycles on our streets and highways isn't enough of a qualification? As I said, great abstract concept. Totally impractical. I favor life, not fatalities and maimings. Bikes don't belong on the streets. This is rather obvious.

He further added:

13 people KILLED on Boston streets in the last 5 years. Next question.

Obviously the natural follow-up question would be "Are you really this fucking stupid?," but instead Daddo One humored him by pointing out that, according to the CDC, "motor vehicle crashes (MVCs) remain a leading cause of injury death in the United States and represent the leading cause of death among teens and young adults nationally."  Therefore, it would naturally follow that Bob Ryan believes cars don't belong on our streets as well.

As far as I know Ryan has not replied to this, because he's too busy dipping his droopy, desiccated testicles in his morning oatmeal.  In fact, he hasn't tweeted in two days, which could indicate that Monday's bowl of oatmeal dried around his balls and he's been busy trying to chip them out with a spoon ever since:


Interestingly, it's also worth noting that while Bob Ryan will say incendiary things about cyclists, he's surprisingly diplomatic when it comes to the dog vs. cat debate:
So the guy will say that bicycles don't belong on public roadways, yet he doesn't have the oatmeal-covered balls to say that dogs can go fuck themselves?

What a putz.

Can you imagine this hoary doofus shuffling up to his desk, booting up his ancient computer, and pecking out moronic tweets about bikes and pets?

I mean sure, I tweet about the same things, but I'm considerably more nimble and I do it from the toilet.

Given all this, I can't help wondering what conclusions Bob Ryan would draw from this:


Two women were seriously injured on a Second Avenue sidewalk yesterday afternoon when a motorist jumped the curb and collided with them. Police say a 24-year-old woman was transported to Bellevue Hospital in critical condition with severe leg injuries, while a 23-year-old woman was listed in stable condition with leg injuries. The 24-year-old was reportedly pinned against a light pole.

Obviously people shouldn't be allowed to walk outside.

By the way, here's the New York Post version of that incident:

The accident happened as the woman was walking along Second Avenue near East 49th Street around 4:30 p.m. Monday when a silver Mercedes traveling south on Second was cut off by another car and went up onto the sidewalk, witnesses said.

Yep, just an "accident"--which the police know because they haven't finished investigating yet:

Police said they are still investigating the incident.

I realize all of this is confusing, so here's your New York Post vocabulary cheat sheet:

"Accident": When a reckless driver kills somebody as a direct consequence of their actions
"Was walking": Probably on her cellphone, she had it coming
"Still investigating the incident": Having lunch

It should all make sense now.

Speaking of "accidents," of course by now you've seen that spectacular Tour of Utah crash:


Just watching it was enough to make me soil my magical Mormon underwear.

As you can see, he comes screaming into the inside of the turn at an extremely high "rate of speed" (as the police like to say), braking so hard that his rear wheel loses traction:


Then presumably he eased up on the rear brake, sending him into a bit of a nose wheelie:


And finally the emergency brake kicked in, in the form of this car:


Ouch.

So would this situation have resolved itself differently had the rider's bike been equipped with cutting-edge hydrolic dick breaks?  Well, no.  Even with his primitive rim brakes he clearly had enough braking power to lock up his wheels, despite the fact that he was traveling well in excess of "Fred Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed.  Still, rode bieks with dick breaks are coming whether you like it or not, especially now that the pros are officially using them:


While it makes sense that Campy-sponsored teams would not test disc brakes, it isn't just a matter of component availability. Bike selection also plays into the equation. While most if not all of the WorldTour teams' bike sponsors have disc bikes, the vast majority of these are endurance bikes, with notably different geometry than the race machines most of the riders use everyday. Specialized's Tarmac Disc bike has identical geometry to its standard Tarmac race bike. However this machine uses a proprietary rear hub spacing, so riders could not take a neutral support wheel unless it was a Specialized Roval.

Give it a few more years of manufacturer tug-of-war before they settle on a "standard," and then that will be the end of rim brakes.  Yes, today's road rim will be tomorrow's combination keychain/bottle opener:


Then as soon as you get used to dick breaks yours will be totally obsolete as soon as they introduce road bike ABS.

And so it goes.

Lastly, here's something to be concerned about:



Absolutely no good can come of a contraption like that.

122 comments:

Kenny Banya said...

Get a job Ted K.

JB said...

What happened to Teddy K?

Gold, Jerry.

JB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JLRB said...

top 5 woo hoo hoo crash

Anonymous said...

Winner winner chicken is the other white meat

Not Ted K said...

even bots get holidays

Anonymous said...

Near top O'Heap.

JB said...

JLRB, you are hereby on the podium. My trail-a-bike doesn't count.

anymous said...

Top tens

JLRB said...

I saw those unicycle-segway-death-machines while in Urapee last year - no thanks.

JLRB said...

JB - Thanks - my team sponsor has been all over me to get a podium finish. Now I can afford more PEDs to keep me in the hunt.

leroy said...

My dog chuckled at your observation that he and his ilk can go fuck themselves. He says you're just jealous about that whole ability to lick themselves thing.

He also says that Mr. Ryan needs an IQ breathalyzer lock for his keyboard. He shouldn't operate heavy machinery in his condition.

PJT said...

Following up on yesterday's comments on Bill Cunningham: My daughter used to work at IMG Fashion, the company that puts on NYC Fashion Week twice a year. Bill Cunningham would ask her, or another IMG employee, to arrange getting a photo of a model. After getting the photo he would personally find and thank the IMG person responsible for arranging for him to get the photograph. Guy is a class act.

Ms. Babble, yes he does (take good photos). The documentary film about him, "Bill Cunningham New York" is really well done.

Anonymous said...

I'd buy the Benz 'hit the brake and car accelerated' line. The electrical in MBs are notoriously crappy.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Happy with results.
If the title didn't say Chicago, I'da swore this would be Ms. Babble !!


http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/08/11/woman-uses-fitbit-during-sex-here-are-the-results/

Peace Love and Bike and Roll !!


vsk



Anonymous said...

That gyro type contraption in the last video, the first person to get hit by a car won't be in an intersection, they'll be on the sidewalk when the gas pedal sticks and the car accidentally flies off the street hitting gyro man or woman. Police will snore away.

McFly said...

One could set the brick foundation of a dwelling with residual oatmeal paste. I have just thrown unwashed bowls in the trash cuz of it.

JB said...

Sorry vsk, there is also only one female O.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 1124: Police will arrive at the scene with powered sugar all over their uniform shirts.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

That SoloWheel thing is expensive. Like $1400 or so?

There is a side by side wheel balance thing that the Pilotage RC Hobby Store on 36th + 5th sells. I think about $700.

Maybe you could gett he motors out and have a secret worm gear bottom bracket drive!

I'm going to woosie out and have a L B shop take my old beat up pedals out. They have a skinny hex shaped nut instead of the long flats. They've been in there for years and I know I'll crack my cranks.

vsk

vsk

Anonymous said...

Casey Niestat uses several of those motorized one wheel (and two wheel) dodads

Anonymous said...

11:22 "I'd buy the Benz 'hit the brake and car accelerated' line. The electrical in MBs are notoriously crappy."

Except for the 1.8 engine, an Audi owner may rest assured that like clockwork every three months the "Check Engine" light will come on.

My mechanic said that electrical systems are the Achilles Heel of German Cars.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap - that guy plowed into the support car! Then the two guys plowing into the motorcycle! Talk about wrecking your day.

Who said this? said...

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

janinedm said...

It just warms the cockles how so many dipshits are concerned about my safety. I'd wager that I could look at a dozen actuarial tables at a dozen different insurance companies and find that my life expectancy is longer than some Chevy Suburban driving Hutt. Something like 70,000+ Americans die from complications of metabolic syndrome every year.

Kendall Clukey said...

The main advantage of disc brakes- modulation, might have helped him. The ability to apply hard braking WITHOUT locking them up comes in mighty handy on big descents.

CommieCanuck said...

OH JESUS..
I CAN'T GET THE IMAGE OF BOB RYAN'S OATMEAL ENCASED BALLS OUT OF MY HEAD.
Thanks Snob, just thanks. I'll never eat oatmeal or dip my balls in my breakfast again.
My life just lost ~18% of it value.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I saw a comment about that Utah crash where somebody blamed the helments. Maybe it was over at Tilford's blog. Forcing racers to wear helments encourages excessive risk taking. Meant as a joke I assume. At least I took it as such.

PotbellyJoe said...

As a former car salesman I used to sell to these morons daily. They need ad SUV because of the snow that NJ gets, but then when NJ gets snow they work from home, They need the rear seat entertainment for junior even though they fly everywhere they travel to. Then they blame the car every time they screw up. Like the gem, "I slid all the way down the hill and i have four wheel drive." Yes, because 4WD has nothing to do with braking.

These people get the same vote as all of us. Some of them even write "news" stories in papers for Massholes.

As for his Bobby's response, it's perfectly logical in his mind that people die in cars, so it is no longer worth noting. 8 people die of Legionnaires' disease and the US populace flips a tit, 32,719 die in their cars annually, move along, nothing to see here...

Remember that Ebola scare?

6 people in the US contract it (all from outside of the US), 1 dies (from an infection elsewhere) and the media went wild. Laws are changed, national debate about quarantines, all of that. In that 3-month shitstorm, around 8,000 people died in their cars.

Priorities.

726 cyclists died from traffic incidents compared to the 32,719. 4,743 were killed while walking.

Really, what doesn't belong on the roads?

Walkers bumping into each other is not killing the other walkers.


BikeSnobNYC said...

Kendall Clukey,

Hard to see how he would have modulated himself out of that one.

--Wildcat Etc.

CommieCanuck said...

Mormons are fascinating creatures. At times of stress they retract on their hind limbs and shout, "slow dooooown, slow doooooooooooown, slow dooooown".
This blog is better than Marlin Perkins' Wild Kingdom.

CommieCanuck said...

PBJ...another Ebola survivor? I haven't been in the US for a while and just assumed Ebola had transformed the country into brainless zombies with bad combovers. Wait, Fox news just confirmed it.

Everyone knows fertility and childbirth gives you a free pass to buy the biggest fucking SUV you can lease.

N/A said...

A sidewalk is certainly no place to allow young women to walk. I mean, what if somebody wants to randomly slam into a light pole? LOOKY HERE, WE GOTS US A SMOOSHED PEDESTRIAN.

JLRB said...

I am sorry - got to cal a penalty on Daddo One for his response to Brainshit-Bob - it is simply unfair to use facts - you will certainly confuse him. 2 minutes in the box of shame.

Spokey said...

i shouldn't get up on wednesday. it always makes me sleepies.


if those robotz things were steaks, ize gonna go vegetarian.

Ugo De Robot said...

I have dixk brakes on my mountain bike and I crash all the time. They are not the panacea for poor bike riding skills. My ability to fall over seemingly simple obstacles is also infinite.

Bryan said...

But was the woman who got pinned by a car wearing a helment? That crash looked terrible.

crosspalms said...

From Bob Ryan's Wikipedia page: On February 14, 2012, during a podcast with Bill Simmons on Grantland.com, Ryan announced that he would retire after the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. Said Ryan, "I really and truly believe that my time has come and gone; that the dynamics of the business, of what it takes, what it means to be involved in the sports business with all the Tweeting and the blogging and all the stuff, and an audience with a different taste - it's not me anymore. I'm not comfortable."

Guess he's gotten more comfortable with the Tweeting. If he could just master the braining.

Anonymous said...

Unicycle/Segway/ Death Machine takes too long to say. I call it the "Rosie" after the Jetson's maid.

dnk said...

"Absolutely no good can come of a contraption like that."

The Unicycle/Segway/Death Machine a.k.a. "Rosie" may bring back Gob from Arrested Development. Which would qualify as "good."

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I can't wait to have a robot maid.

bad boy of jersey said...

That tour of utah clip had OUCH all over it.....

Anonymous said...

I've pinned a woman against my pole but not a pole.

Not the same thing.

Eric_WVGG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eric_WVGG said...

Bicycling in Boston is delightful. There is nothing at all wrong with the city outside of the pieces of human dogshit who call it home.

Anonymous said...

I thought the original purpose of Kickstarter was to have schmucks donate money to fund product development and source manufacturing facilities. Mr. Cut-up-a-perfectly-good-rim has a machine shop and has already figured out where to cut the rims to make a bottle opener. So... what the fuck does he need $3000 for? Just extra spending money? (Besides, don't most bottles come with twist-off caps?)

Herschel Raney said...

That Tour of Utah rocket speed wreck makes me hurt still. The question is would he have been more damaged if he had missed the car and gone shooting off into those trees?

If you don't like cats, we have a difference of opinion. If you don't like dogs, we cannot understand each other.

Anonymous said...

I thought the "Lisa crashes her punk ass moped" video after the 'weird contraption' video was a nice summary of todays post.

Roille Figners said...

Wednesday comes but once a week... but Cipo is probably coming right now.

ken e. said...

speechless, blaming wednesday.

Roille Figners said...

I see them saying the motorist jumped the curb, instead of a sentient car doing it, which was what we asked for, but you know, I read it and it doesn't seem quite right either. For example was the motorist in a car at the time? Or having self-identified as an adherent of Motorism did they just jump the curb in their Reeboks and "get rad" like in an 80s Mentos commercial? And yet if you say "a motorist in a car" then you're just being redundant and sound like an ass. Arguably the word "motorist" is the problem since it's a stupid word. "Person in a car" or "man in an SUV" or whatnot, would probably be best, but it sounds a little naive or (if you've been through all this overwrought reasoning) overwrought or trying too hard, but I suppose it's still best.

JLRB said...

OK - follow me on a connect the dots

Watch the Matt Brammeier Utah crash-test-dummy video right after you read Brainshit-Bob's tweet

They are on the same page

Matt is clearly trying to get the fuck off the all too dangerous road as fast as he can

No? Must be Wednesday...

Logan Johns said...

You are wrong about disc brakes. The main benefit of disc brakes isn't more power, it's more modulation. It's your ability to more easily hit the braking sweet spot. The point at which you are putting just enough power into the system to NOT lock up the wheel. This is more easily done with the larger power band of disc brakes. Once the wheel locks up, stopping distance is the same whether it's calipers, disc brakes or a stick in your wheels. The point is to get to that sweet spot before you lock your wheel. With disc brakes, you can dump more speed more quickly than with calipers.
Hate all you want, but for the common cyclist, disc brakes are safer.
Having said that, discs wouldn't have helped him. He was going way to hot into that corner.
Also, Freds all over North America are gravitating to disc brakes well ahead of the pros. Must manufacturers are already selling more and more disc equipped endurance road bikes (aka Fred bikes) before the pros have even had a chance to race then (save Team Roompot).

Anonymous said...

Except that, as is plainly seen when mountain biking with a group of experienced bikers even, people with disk brakes lock them up all the time, skidding into corners. They are far easier to lock up.

David Olson said...

Sure enough Rollie, but according to the Post quote: "...a silver Mercedes traveling south on Second was cut off by another car and went up onto the sidewalk...." Two sentient cars in the same sentence! I think Snob introduced the concept of the "disembodied" hand and follows up with the disembodied car.

PS, for the ToU rider schlecking it on the descent, I'm wondering if the car saved him from a tree impalation. The helmet mongers never mention that particular fate.

Bike That AZ Up said...

Hahaha! Many, many great points... still make me laugh every time!

Anonymous said...

Bob Ryan's comment and rationale behind it are both so false and misinformed that it is not even worth getting worked up about. He probably got stuck behind a cyclist on his way to pick up his boner meds that morning and was in a pissy mood about it so tweeted that brain fart.

Freddy Murcks said...

The bike crash video led to this VIDEO. It is as though viewers needed some sporting girls after viewing the carnage.

Freddy Murcks said...

I should note that I am well acquainted with that curve on Guardsman road*. The video doesn't really capture how motherfuckin' steep the road is right there. Hitting the car might have saved that dudes life. At the speed he was going, he was going nothing but straight. And straight off that curve is a sheer, rocky drop off.


*The cars on the right are parked at one of the trail heads of one of the best MTB rides in the US - The Wasatch Crest.

McFly said...

30 years later and Dottie still gives me a chubby.

For a second there I thought you were serious said...

Logan - Way to quote the dick breaks marketing party line. Fucking. brilliant. parody!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Logan Johns,

I agree the "modulation" thing comes into play in wet conditions, but otherwise it's like saying the BB-whatever bottom brackets are stiffer. Maybe, but so what?

By the way, I'm not against discs on road bikes, I just wouldn't go near them until the marketing and competing standards die down and they've been around awhile. In the meantime, rim brakes leave little to be desired for the majority of us.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Roille Figners said...

Yeah the disc vs rim debate is kind of irrelevant for that crash... the time for "modulation" was before he got up to woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo speed. (each "hoo" is about 3mph)

Oh yeah, and isn't "rate of speed" a gem! A phrase chosen specifically to sound more (self) important & officious, like the prison guards in Idiocracy.

Also a great addition to this list of blatant redundancies:

form factor - form

price point - price

rate of speed - speed

use case - use

P. Bateman said...

@Freddy Murcks - nice video. didnt know gals had rugby.

and the 1:38ish mark is just the evidence we need to confirm the insanity of the female sex.

fine work.

dropped some tires off at the LBS to be mounted. i'd rather have the skin on my fingers and a few less dollars.

this insanely stupid bike build is nearing its completion.

David G said...

I don't think you need to be concerned about that contraption, WRM. If I'm seeing correctly, and that corner awning says "OPEN 25 HRS", this video was clearly shot on Mars.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timekeeping_on_Mars#Sols

Danica said...

Not all all cars are bad

Brigham Young and Brigham Often said...

If the forma factor of rim brakes was good enough for Jesus ad Moses, it's good enough for me.

1904 Cadardi said...

In classic USCF/UCI motor ref fashion, the guy that got clipped front and rear by two riders looks around and then rides off. Classy.

JB said...

"rate of speed" is technically acceleration, but they meant speed, so Roille is correct.

It looks like the hands-free Segway said...

also appeared yesterday in the Bill Cunningham video at about the 0:22 mark.

Roille Figners said...

Boom, mind blown wide open JB. What if it's "miles per hour per ham sandwich" as in "I lose 5 mph for every ham sandwich I eat." That's a rate of speed too. Or like, "the average fred spends an extra $1,000 to gain 0.1 mph" so that's a rate-of-speed of $10,000 per mph. "That's a pretty steep rate of speed mate!" <--hopa Cadel style

JLRB said...

DICK BRAK

SPRT WRTR

LEAV ERLY

RIDE TIME

time to go take up precious tarmac space from sentient moto vehicles

sloow-down said...

So Merida is building frames with proprietary spacing for Speshulized. Sinyard gets to screw the customer twice. Once for a Merida with different stickers, once for a hub spacing you will never find again. No doubt Sinyard will sue anyone that tries to manufacture an axle adapter.

You jokers selling dick break modulation for bieks are making stuff up.

For sure, dick breaks are the bestest in wet places where people ride bieks to do stuff. Regular folks love them because they are on/off. That's fine. Dick breaks for all those folks. Last time I looked, biek races weren't braking contests. "Duuude I went slower and ruled the race nobody saw...."

Anonymous said...

I've spilled oatmeal down the front of me while driving plenty of times, but I've always been wearing clothes. Now if I were to join a nudist colony...

Anonymous said...

Dried oatmeal on his balls. Just imagine all of the flies.

Anonymous said...

Almost JB, rate of change of speed would be acceleration. Rate of speed is just speed. It's redundant for the po(lice) to say "rate of" as if they were verbally filling in a standard form.

That Quaker dude said...

Don't eat and drive dub-dub

Spokey said...

i had a sentient big-ass pickup behind me this afternoon (I was the front vehicle at the light). So he backs up a little moves right in to the turn right lane, pulls past me, and then back in front of me sticking his idiot front in to the highway we're about to cross.

when the light turned it took him several seconds to get going. i was still within maybe 15-20 feet behind him when he turned at the first right.

(for PBJ - triangle to falcon xing 206, wanted to wander over to ride the bypass to nowhere today)

asshole.


and just to humiliate me more robot sez Select all images with pickup trucks

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

There once was a man named Bob Ryan
Whose brain cells were rapidly dyin'
Snobbie's posting to twitter
While camped on the shitter
Was better than Bob Ryan's lyin'

Prof Pangloss said...

Where I live (NW PA so more likely to have pickups) I see that the proportion of pickups to cars is X but the likelihood that someone who cuts me off, right hooks, blares a horn, screams obscenities at me, or lobs old beer cans is in a pickup is about 9x. What's wrong with pickups that they do this to people?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Or haiku (sorta)

Asshole's opinons
Death rattle of braindead writer
Bob Ryan, ace putz

Atomic Man said...

The "disc brakes are safer" line is the same sort of jive they used to push STI when it came out. They couldn't argue the fact that is was heavier and far more complicated and thus failure-prone than down tube levers, so it suddenly became "unsafe" to take your hands off the bars for two seconds to shift.

Regarding the horrible incident on Second Ave yesterday... You might notice that the Gothamist piece referring to the Post article made no mention of a witness stating that a second car cut off the offending driver, causing him to crash. Just that he "lost control", as if he just suddenly spazzed out and drove up onto the sidewalk. They did manage to repeat quotes about the grisly injuries though.

My balls are on fire said...

Here is the Unicycle/Segway/Death Machine being a Death Machine.

LOL - WTF??

Anonymous said...

ABS is already here for bicycles, check these streamline units.

http://www.bikerumor.com/2012/11/27/hands-on-sabs-antilock-bicycle-brake-pads/

They will come in handy if people ever find themselves travelling swiftly to a block of scrunched up brown paper

http://bikeadvice.in/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Anto-Lock-Braking-System-for-bikes-ABS-1.jpg

Dan

the Jimboner said...

Self-imposed 4 day weekend in Rio starts tomorrow!
See you on Monday.

BamaPhred said...

You had me at dumbfuckulous

OATY BALLS said...

I think Bob Ryan is genuinely concerned about bicycle safety.
But he's also just clueless about urban and utility and road cycling.
So, he speaks from a plinth of ignorance.

Sigh.

David Byrnes Hyundai said...

Good ole Bob Ryan, I have a breathalyzer lock mounted around my midsection. If he will put his mouth on the special tube, I promise to have bowl of milk on the floor to wash off the oatmeal.

If it wasn't for all those damn bikes on the road there would be way fewer auto fatalities

Doc Sarvis said...

Hecho en México

Arizona redneck said...

As long as she has lime green panties

Master Cylinder said...

What ever happened to dual disks on the front of motor bikes? Should bike bikes get the dual treatment too for madcap stopping power?

Anonymous said...

It's gotta be easy or I cain't do it...

Doc Sarvis said...

Yes, all cars are bad. Your car, my car, cars used as props for semi nude tarts...

Anonymous said...

At least the adoption of road disks will mean I no longer have to look at the abomination that is the radial-spoked front wheel.

jamu atasi ejakulasi dini said...

You should know, on my country, many people like old byclce to bike a mountain...nice blogg

David Pearce said...

I agree with "Wildcat etc." that that unfortunate rider in the Tour of Utah was coming in to the turn way too fast.

These roads surely already have signage warning "Sharp Turn Ahead" or something similar. But these guys are racing, not seeing the regular signs that probably just fade into the scenery.

Should there be, or are there already, special race-warning signs, alerting descenders to a really sharp turn coming up?

JLRB said...

No

JLRB said...

Way

JLRB said...

Maybe

JLRB said...

YES

David Pearce said...

I also agree with "Wildcat etc." about the title of yesterday's blog post, "America Now Leads The World In Proven Reserves of Crude Stupidity", although it remains to be seen whether we have reached "Maximum Crude Stupidity", and will have to resort to brute force methods like fracking to extract more stupidity from our great country, or whether our supply of Crude Stupidity is in fact unlimited.

You would think the word would have gotten around the aging sportscasters locker rooms or their dark, wood-paneled bars, "Hey, colleague, keep your thoughts on the whole bicycle thing to yourself, our mindless rantings never end well for us."

But the word never does go around, making sure that we will enjoy plentiful supplies of Crude Stupidity for centuries to come.

JLRB said...

ANON @ 11:47 - you'd think - but the first roading beik I purchased with dick breaks about 6-7 years ago came with radial spoked wheels, which failed miserably.

JLRB said...

On a brighter note - awesome perseid meteor show last night even in my light polluted back yard

Anonymous said...

I thought a meatier shower was when you washed off with a big-legged girl after epic sexy times.

BamaPhred said...

Just to summarize Mr Pearce's thoughts, Peak Stupid is still a long ways off.

BobRyan said...

What, nobody ever heard of the oatmeal reach around fetish?

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

As the old man from Futurama would say "Good News Everyone!"

After one shop was a little deterred (no biggy, near closing time).

7 1 8 Cycle Shop in Carroll Brooklyn Gardens Slope Heights South North Gowanus on 3rd Ave and Union Street got my sticky pedal spindle out of my non drive crank.

Muchos kudos and thankos to the staff who did not treat me like the woosie I was.

White to green fade Olmo now has some MKS BM7s to accommodate my wide footness with some blingy green ano toe cages. I'll be Danny McCaskilling with it in no time. (Just kidding, insert the Just Kidding meemee in here), I exceed the stationary weight limit Giuseppe Olmo had in mind.

On the side of a side note, I stopped by the Whole Foods on tird stereet and tird ave and adjusted my seatpost. Whilst basking in the effervescence of the Gowanus Lavender Lake, I noticed fish swimming in there. They must be some mighty tuff pescas.

vsk

David Pearce said...

Ugh! Right, BamaPhred, it's "Peak", not "Maximum"! Rats! (and thank you).

To paraphrase a certain movie we like, "It's a fine line between clever and stupid!" :-)

Generic LBS Bot said...

Geting a pedal taken out is far less woosie than getting flats fixed or tires mounted - we are happy to take your money for all of the above

Anonymous said...

because I don't emails individuals on the line unless I can personally attest to their character, I wanted to make Wildcat Rock Machine aware that two apparently hip with the colored rims single speed bicycles from a 'one-off' brand name were just featured on the August 13 episode of the Price is Right on the CBS network.
Perhaps I am a robot.

Anonymous said...

Atomic Man -

RE: car cutoff, driving onto the sidewalk:

When the choices are:

I'm cut-off, I'll drive onto the occupied sidewalk, or the occupied bike lane

vs.

I'm cut-off, I'll just run into the screwball who cut me off

It's better to hit the screwball's car.

We had a fine bike fatality like this on the shoulder of Lawrence Expy about ~15 years ago.

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Dr Purva Pius said...

Hello Everybody,
My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.

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