Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Wednesday Advisory In Effect, Do Not Leave Your Sofa or Cubicle

Firstly, you should know that New York City is under a heat advisory and air quality alert:


* STAY IN YOUR CAR

* DO NOT SHUT OFF MOTOR OR AIR CONDITIONING FOR ANY REASON

* IDLING RESTRICTIONS HAVE BEEN LIFTED

* IF YOU MUST LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE, BE SURE TO DOUBLE-PARK IN FRONT OF A RETAIL COOLING CENTER :


The “Shut the Front Door!” initiative kicked off Wednesday with an estimated 200 volunteers fanning out across the five boroughs to chat with businesses about the true costs of pumping air conditioning into the ether, while tweeting about it with #BeCoolSaveFuel. The volunteers reminded some 5,000 businesses about Local Law 38, passed in 2008 to ban open door A/C at large chains or stores with more than 4,000 square feet.

I'm not sure why the city is making a big deal about this.  Forcing people into overcooled restaurants and retail establishments due to extreme temperatures seems like a great way to stimulate the economy--because nothing staves off heat exhaustion like shopping for underpants at Abercrombie and Fitch, or dining on Eggs Benedict and bottomless mimosas:



Of course, as the atmosphere becomes increasingly thick, aerodynamics in cycling will only become more important.  This is why the new Specialized Venge-Schmenge is yet another harbinger of the Apocalypse:


We've already heard from Bike Radar and VeloNews about how this new miracle bike will turn plodding Freds into ever-so-slightly-less-plodding Freds, and now it's Bicycling's turn to Enter the Wind Tunnel:

The protocol went like this: Each journalist (there were 12 total) had a basic bike fit done in advance of the event. We had two bikes set up: a new Venge ViAS and an S-Works Tarmac. We took wind-tunnel readings on both setups to establish drag, and then did a back-to-back road test of each setup on a lightly rolling 19km loop to see whether we were faster. 

Firstly, I don't think it's fair to refer to bike reviewers as "journalists."  That's like calling amateur bike racers "athletes," or like calling me an "athlete" or a "journalist."  Secondly, it's fairly clear to me that Specialized's wind tunnel is also a brainwashing machine, which is why they've been marching all these bike reviewers into it one after another.

So what happened?

Across my two runs, the Venge setup was 122 seconds faster than the conventional setup, or an average speed increase of 1.74kph (a little over 1mph). That’s significant, especially considering that the actual “conventional” setup we ran was slightly faster than their benchmarks, and since the Sub-6 shoes weren’t available to test, that made the Venge ViAS setup a little slower.

Yeah, I don't care about these bike reviewers beating their own pathetic times.  I WANT TO KNOW WHICH OF THE 12 CYCLING "JOURNALISTS" WAS THE FASTEST!  These people have been selling us on the idea of speed for years, so it's only fair that we learn the outcome so we can ridicule the losers.  Live by the Fred Sled, die by the Fred Sled.

But of course no review is complete without the "spurious anecdote," so here it is:

The Venge ViAS was the first aero road bike I’ve been on that I actually enjoyed. On a 62-mile road ride, it proved comfortable trading pulls on the gently rolling outward leg, grinding up a climb or hammering an almost 40mph paceline with a tailwind. At one point, grimly hanging on to the back of the line after a pull, I thought to myself: “If I was on a Tarmac right now, I’d be screwed.”

See that?  The $12,500 Venge-Shmenge (not to mention the $1,000+ outfit you need to wear with it in order to reap the full aero benefits) is the difference between getting dropped and finishing with the group.

So there you go.

[40mph paceline?  I el-oh-elled.]

As for me, I'd much rather have this "Cipollini Equipped" custom-curated vintage pro bike replica, as forwarded to me by a reader:



This 2000 Cannondale R2000 Saeco-Cannondale team bicycle that I have built to replicate the racing machine of the legendary sprinter Mario Cipollini. The bike is equipped with a Shimano Dura-Ace 7700 component group, and is highlighted by the funky Cinelli Alter stem (hard-to-find in team colors) and Spinergy Wheels. The carbon fork is made by TIME, but is branded CODA Slice Prodigy. 


I remember that bike well, and it arguably represents Cipollini's stylistic zenith--though it's worth noting that as fashions change so does the Cipo, and here he is today clad in a full-camo Fred onesie with bike to match:


Of course, with Cipollini camouflage is more than just a fashion statement.

He also has to hide from all those paternity suits.

Finally, a reader forwarded me an amusing and insightful video that entertainingly underscores just how abjectly bicycle-unfriendly Australia is:


(Sorry, you'll have to click the link, I couldn't embed it because of technology.)

While another reader forwarded me this group of Melbournites (or Melbournians, or Melbatoasts, or whatever they are) brunching in an off-brand Dumpster:


They ought to have no problem surviving the Apocalypse.

114 comments:

Ted K. said...

46. We attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that that society requires people to live under conditions radically different from those under which the human race evolved and to behave in ways that conflict with the patterns of behavior that the human race developed while living under the earlier conditions. It is clear from what we have already written that we consider lack of opportunity to properly experience the power process as the most important of the abnormal conditions to which modern society subjects people. But it is not the only one. Before dealing with disruption of the power process as a source of social problems we will discuss some of the other sources.

Weasel said...

POP Goes the weasel

P. Bateman said...

what up ninjas.

Anonymous said...

Podes?

JLRB said...

Mad Max never wore a helment

Synonymous said...

Gravel.

Anonymous said...

I even read the whole thing first. Too bad I'm anonymous

ken e. said...

strollin' in.

Weasel said...

Fred Ted K automatically relegated to last place due to illegal sprint.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Rounding out the top ten.

Anonymous said...

"stumped" ran rings around the velodrome comments competition yesterday.

Top 10 maybe?

Anonymous said...

Ted K sentenced to 30 days working on Donald Trump's campaign.

Southold Town Police Chief Martin Flatus said...

Faster bikes? Don't bring those infernal machines into my town.

Blog Drafter said...

Ted K. fined 100 euros for "sticky comment" and relegated.

Oh yeah, great post.

balls™ said...

I bet that one dentist wished he'd bought a Serotta instead of taking up big game hunting.

Big Whiney Rich Baby said...



I am very disappointed by the NFL’s decision to uphold the 4 game suspension against me. I did nothing wrong, and no one in the Patriots organization did either.

Despite submitting to hours of testimony over the past 6 months, it is disappointing that the Commissioner upheld my suspension based upon a standard that it was “probable” that I was “generally aware” of misconduct. The fact is that neither I, nor any equipment person, did anything of which we have been accused. He dismissed my hours of testimony and it is disappointing that he found it unreliable.

I also disagree with yesterdays narrative surrounding my cellphone. I replaced my broken Samsung phone with a new iPhone 6 AFTER my attorneys made it clear to the NFL that my actual phone device would not be subjected to investigation under ANY circumstances. As a member of a union, I was under no obligation to set a new precedent going forward, nor was I made aware at any time during Mr. Wells investigation, that failing to subject my cell phone to investigation would result in ANY discipline.

Most importantly, I have never written, texted, emailed to anybody at anytime, anything related to football air pressure before this issue was raised at the AFC Championship game in January. To suggest that I destroyed a phone to avoid giving the NFL information it requested is completely wrong.

To try and reconcile the record and fully cooperate with the investigation after I was disciplined in May, we turned over detailed pages of cell phone records and all of the emails that Mr. Wells requested. We even contacted the phone company to see if there was any possible way we could retrieve any/all of the actual text messages from my old phone. In short, we exhausted every possibility to give the NFL everything we could and offered to go thru the identity for every text and phone call during the relevant time. Regardless, the NFL knows that Mr. Wells already had ALL relevant communications with Patriots personnel that either Mr. Wells saw or that I was questioned about in my appeal hearing. There is no “smoking gun” and this controversy is manufactured to distract from the fact they have zero evidence of wrongdoing.

I authorized the NFLPA to make a settlement offer to the NFL so that we could avoid going to court and put this inconsequential issue behind us as we move forward into this season. The discipline was upheld without any counter offer. I respect the Commissioners authority, but he also has to respect the CBA and my rights as a private citizen. I will not allow my unfair discipline to become a precedent for other NFL players without a fight.

Lastly, I am overwhelmed and humbled by the support of family, friends and our fans who have supported me since the false accusations were made after the AFC Championship game. I look forward to the opportunity to resume playing with my teammates and winning more games for the New England Patriots.

Anonymous said...

hey @BigWhineyRichBaby - STOP BEING A WANKER

Top Twenty said...

Tom Brady is a douche.

crosspalms said...

1.74 kph faster? How much is that in gigawatts?

Anonymous said...

this is my favorite football blog.

samh said...

"Stop being a wanker". I like that.

Anonymous said...

Ted K is a wanker.

Stop being a wanker, Ted!

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Tom Brady is almost as full of shit as the pro peleton.

Venge 'grimly hanging on' in a 40 mph paceline......I'd like to know what the front of the line was riding.

JB said...

Yes, an S-Works Tarmac is a terrible, $9,000 racing bicycle that is not worth riding with real bikecycle racing riders. You may as well buy a GMC 10-speed from Amazon.

-[Bikingcycling Journalist]

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pathetic Old Cyclist,

GSX-R1000.

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

its true, i saw her riding. i'd like to have dinner with her in a dumpster...

http://bit.ly/1LRuo81

Anonymous said...

Talking of bike reviews, as I needed a new saddle I said to myself why not try the saddle Snob has been taking about endlessly for a few years now, the Brooks Cambium.

I did borrow one from my LBS and I am sorry to say it was too hard on my arse so I did not buy one. I suppose that if you wear bibs shorts with a chamois it might feel fine but as a I am just a commuter riding about 200 km/week without chamois, it was definitely too hard on my bum.

That's my Brooks Cambium review (total riding time: 200 km).

Best,

Fred Cliché said...

Anonymous at 106 PM;

HTFU

That's Mr. Anonymous to you... said...

Ted K is NOT a wanker. He's a twat waffle.

leroy said...

My dog was going to suggest that, with a new bike, I could grimly hang on to the grupetto of old age and irrelevance, but he didn't want to be accused of beating a near dead wanker.

He says he meant it as a compliment.

cipo_hair_ftw said...

Oh, man do I LOVE wind tunnel tests. It's the test you will always pass.

Why? Do people ride fast enough to make the wind tunnel test results valid? oops!!! Can't print that.

Cipolini says "I get all deh results I need-a."

Matt said...

If that Venge is more aerodynamic, doesn't that reduce the benefit of riding at the back of the pack?

PotbellyJoe said...

Strong post Snobi wan,

We have the same problem with these reviewers... They call themselves journalists, which is their first lie.

My Grandma always told me it takes 17 lies to cover your first. So I then am looking for 17 other lies after he writes "12 other journalists."

So we get the lie about comfort, then the lie about speed, the lies about the "significance" and it goes on.

I still subscribe because it gives my grandmother something to give me for Christmas, but sometimes I would rather have the two Whopper Value Meals that the $11.95 would buy me. It'd be less full of shit.

I mean really, "Do you need that Venge ViAS?"

BamaPhred said...

You can have my air conditioner when you pry my cold dead fingers off the thermostat!

(Which is programmed responsibly)

Comment deleted said...

Well, these veneers can wait. I'm off to Zimbabwe to bag an albino cheetah with my carbon fiber bow. Here, hold my Venge until I get back, m'kay?

BamaPhred said...

And yes balls, I bet Dr Walter Palmer, DMD, Cecil Killer, does wish he had bought crabon bikey stuff. I guess buying all the latest, most expensive, fred gear just wasn't "getting it up" for him.

WalterPalmer said...

Wait CD, can I still get in on the Rhino hunt?

JLRB said...

I hope I never find out what Sub-6 shoes are.

I can only imagine what harm I did to my aeroness this morning by riding in tevas

Another Anonymous..........but which one? said...

to JLRB:
were the Tevas spd compatible?

if so, then you are uber-Fred

@Cipo said...

Eating pussy

clyde said...

I heard that specialized is coming out with VIAS Sandals that will reduce the wattage effort by 0.00000000004 watts over your typical Tevas

RD NoFA said...

Shouldn't it be: "I elled-oh-ell"?

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

I have a blurry photograph of the (very) rear of the Fondon't dirt peloton published in this here blog.
I screed away about commute noir.

I am both journalist and photographer!

vsk

WalterPalmer, DDS, Cecil Killer said...

Damn @Cipo, are you in on the Cecil hate too?

OOOHHHH, nevermind

dop said...

whatever happened to stoning a caged fox with champagne bottles?

JLRB said...

DOP - Sounds like something Cosby would do, or would that be caging a stoned fox, etc.

Another Anon - The Tivas I wore today were not SPD equipped because the beik that rode me to work today has olde fashioned platforms with straps.

Fear not, however, as I do own a pair of SPD equipped Teva type sandals, so yes, Fred I am

Roille Figners said...

Well I suppose if you're out to educate a large number of morons, a humorous-and-informative wanker video is the way to go. But for one moron at a time I still think a beating is better.

Not a propos bikes: This guy educated a moron via ground-based anti-aircraft fire. Roughly McFly's neck of the woods I believe.

Also is there some deal about how like, humans now die in hot weather? I mean I realize the climate is warmer than ever but it's not THAT much. It's just hot out.

teddy giesel said...

That fRED I am, That fRED I am...I can't believe that fRED I am...



but, do you ride serotta with red Sram?

1904 Cadardi said...

I recently passed a gentleman riding a Venge-henge-smenge down a rather twisty mountain road. My bikecycle has 36 spoke wheels and rather roundish tubes. Aerodynamically speaking I should not have been able to catch, much less pass, said gentleman. So clearly some other force is hard at work here and Specializzzzd must construct a gimbaled wind tunnel that allows simulation of grades and corners. And then hire, I mean invite, some "journalists" to review said tunnel and bikes.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to watch the Fred from down under, but since I'm not on AssPamphlet, I couldn't. Damn you Technos!!

CommieCanuck said...


but, do you ride serotta with red Sram?

I could not, would not, ride with Sram.

I can not, will not, play bike polo.

I could not, would not, ride with Campagnolo.

Not with gravel, not with electricity, fRED I am, let me be.

Carlos Caliente said...

Don't be a Wanker!

Now, where'd I leave those tube socks and Saran Wrap?

johnny spermatazoan said...

do not speak lightly of the great tube sock holocaust

BamaPhred said...

Does mass overcome aero-ness on a descent?
Asking for a friend

But was the drone wearing a helment?

Spokey said...

yeah, i want to know what the hell the Sub-6 shoes weren’t available to test, that made the Venge ViAS setup a little slower means too.

been over a decade since i bought new shoes. mayhaps i need the new shoe tech? just took out my next to last new(?)/ unworn 2001 specialized sport shoes to the local cobbler to have the toe box stretched. seems that my feet have gotten fatter since buying a bunch of these at $10 a pop back in 2002 or so.


and yes, it was hot out today here in the hemorrhoids. my temperature thingeee said 93 'merican but i think it was lying. felt worse than that.


so now i'm told that a bus coming down the lane to run me over is not a member of the Select all images with street signs group? sure seems like a sign to get the hell outta da way to me.

Anonymous said...

the Venge didn't do especially well at the Tour. Sagan didn't win a stage, Cav won 1. All the overall leaders were riding something else....

Donald Trump said...

Those tube sock sperm were are from rapists anyway.

Anonymous said...

"Don't be a wanker" is a good idea, but in most cases it means: "Don't be an Australian"

Mike Sinyard said...

All the others had the well hidden Gruber assist

JLRB said...

“To my valued patients: As you may have already heard, I have been in the news over the last few days for reasons that have nothing to do with my profession or the care I provide for you,”

aka - Oh shit - this lion killing thing is going to hurt my wallet

crosspalms said...

Their new ad slogan: "Venge is mine, saith the Lord."

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I love bike reviewers and their overly descriptive prose. I pray for the day when one of them says 'because I suck, this bile sucks. It really has little to do with the bike'.

CommieCanuck said...

You left out half the statement,

"To my valued patients: As you may have already heard, I have been in the news over the last few days for reasons that have nothing to do with my profession or the care I provide for you,”

"...unless you happen to be a rare and beautiful animal whose head would look awesome in my man-cave".

DB said...

Chicago Bears report for training camp today.

Summer is over.

WalterPalmer, DDS, Cecil Killer said...

I'm a convicted poacher of bears
I avoided a sexual harassment lawsuit via the payoff
I baited a mostly tame lion a mile out of a park
I have Mr Magoo vision and Elmer Fudd stalking ability
Couldn't see the GPS tracking collar at 20 yds
I muffed the shot with my venge schmenge crabon fibre crossbow
40 HOURS LATER my trackers finally found my tame lion trophy and dispatched it with a rifle
I pose proudly with the carcass

And just why is everyone so worked up anyway?

eFred said...

I am coming to get all of you spandex wearing fools!

dop said...

Nothing wrong with poached bears. Taste just like chicken.

sTONEdEADLAND said...


Mr. Palmer is concerned with the thousand dollar question
Just like Roger he's a crazy little kid
I've got the time if you've got the inclination
So cheer up Palmer, you'll soon be dead

The noose is hanging, at least you won't die wondering
Sit up and take notice Tell it like it is
If I were near you I wouldn't be far from you
I've got a feeling you know what you did...

bad boy of the north said...

I guess the dear doctor wanted his lionshare.rip cecil.

BamaPhred said...

Sorry guys
I live where "hunting" has become a giant dick waving contest and is out of control.
I may not be able to appreciate cycling fredism, but I sure as hell can pick out hunting freds like this guy.
When it quits raining, I'll go for my lordly 15MPH cruise around the valley, nice and flat, and refrain from my usual inane, pointless, stream of conscious commentating until my BP comes down from the stratosphere.

Guy who just read a review of the best tacos in town said...

If you are writing reviews of the best tacos you are not a journalist

ABIM said...

Hey, a couple of those Aussie babes are rated beyond category. I wouldn't mind dumpster diving with one, after all, it is "down under" ("Delish" chimes in Cipo).

ubercurmudgeon said...

I sincerely hope that 40mph paceline was tailed by a support vehicle, playing "Yakety Sax" on loudspeakers, with a roof rack full of Specialized's latest gravel bikes in case of inadvertent off-road detours, and with a refrigerator in the truck capacious enough to supply bottomless mimosas to all after the ride.

Roille Figners said...

40mph is of course, just shy of Fred Woo Hoo Hoo Hooo speed.

Anonymous said...

Does Cipo's bike say 'Penis' on the top tube? Or is he just demonstrating the lateral stiffness of his member?

Prof Pangloss said...

I'm so confused. After reading this blog for a while, I can't decide if I an Fred, Uber-Fred or not Fredly at all. However, I know that I am not a wanker.

EricBikeCO said...

Oddly enough, the Melbatoasts are as logical as Kaczynski in arguing cycling is unnatural.

Anonymous said...

Ted K.'s style seems to be rubbing off on the snob these days.

Wappreciative said...

Wank you

Anonymous said...

"Venge didn't do especially well at the Tour.

It ain't about the bike, its about who is pedaling it. If they all exchanged bikes with each other I bet the results would have been the same.

Anonymous said...

And about Sagan not winning a stage in this years tour. I tell my kids it is not about winning but about trying to win.

He finished second 5 times, third twice and forth twice.

He finished with the same time as the winner 10 times, HALF of the road stages.

No one has ever contested that many stages.

Ted K. said...

There have been a few comments that a script could be written to post the century comment every day.

I would not do that.

But I could.

(Test was JULY 29, 2015 AT 9:36 AM comment.)

Spokey said...

anon @ 7:45

not to mention winning the green.


@ Ted

script wouldn't work as well on the century. there are too many lurkers (like me for instance or dop or jlrb) ready to pounce and / or post a couple dummies and then post the century. the timing would be much more difficult.

Blue Moon said...

You woke up this morning got yourself a gun
Mama always said you’d be The Chosen One.

She said: You’re one in a million you’ve got to burn to shine
But you were born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eyes.

endo-king said...

Snob;

Something new for Recumbabe!

http://www.bbc.com/autos/story/20150729-for-this-morgan-3-wheeler-from-belarus-pedals-replace-pistons

Also, Science NYT on Tuesday; did you read the book review? About the British Brain Surgeon? Who commutes to 'Hospital,' WITHOUT A HELMET?

Or, Dining Section on Wednesday; for your new gazpacho recipe . . .

Ted K. said...

"...script wouldn't work as well on the century."

That's what I thought, but then i thought some more. The 97th post yesterday had one script guess the photos and when it got them correct it waited. A second script checked the number of comments and when it saw 96 it tripped the first script to click "Publish Your Comment".

Not like sprinting more like waiting at the finish line and steeping over right after #96 crosses.

It could be set up to post 97th one day, 101 the next, 103 the next, then 107, 109, 113, etc)

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Right on 'Bama about the hunting/dickwaving contest. Same thing here in the ole buckeye state. Dentist guy was/is a hunting fred that's for sure.

In contrast I have an uncle who is a retired Dr. of veterinary medicine who was an avid big game hunter back in his younger days. He was based in the PNW so he hunted deer, moose, elk and bear. Has some sweet trophies hanging but also always had a well stocked chest freezer of meat. He was the flannel shirt/Fred Bear old school type of hunter.

Either way I don't give a crap. I will say it's probably a good idea to fully research possible guide services if going on safari overseas.

bird watching frank sinatra said...

Egrets, I've had a few...

JLRB said...

Aren't we all scripts created by WCRM to create clicks?

JLRB said...

Dentist Fred is all over the news - a good break from the 27 presidential candidates. I liked Wilbur's Nightly Show take on it - create a group to take money from rich white people and find good uses for it so they don't do stupid crap with their abundance...

And it turns out Lion Fred has a felony record for illegaly killing a black bear in Wisconsin. Whatadousche

JLRB said...

And, keeping with PBJ's annoying Fred encounter ...

Rumor has it, one of the guides said "Is that Cecil's head you have there? Do you really need that?"

Anonymous said...

Wanker Ted Wanker is DQ'ed for being a wanker.

"wanker can carry suggestions of egotistical and self-indulgent behaviour and this is the dominant meaning in Australia"

Don't be a wanker-bot.

JB said...

I wonder if Ted K. could post every prime-number comment?

BamaPhred said...

I'm sure the bot could win all the primes.

Anonymous said...

OKAY, let's test this out, Ted K.

Anonymous said...

I've got a couple minutes to WASTE

Anonymous said...

FALSE SPRINTINTETO'ing

Anonymous said...

Ahh, f$%king STREET SIGNS, I HATE those.

Anonymous said...

DAMN, now I've lost count

Anonymous said...

Ironic, pick out the BICYCLES!!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, methinks, A.)Perhaps I doth protesteth overmuch.

.) 100

Anonymous said...

Wanker

BamaPhred said...

Yeah RCT, I would say that any bicycle fredism is small potatoes compared to hunting fredism, and tournament style bass fishing fredism.

Anonymous said...

FISH FRED

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Back of the underground paceline. Subway fred!


200QX Drone fred!


vsk

KNUK TATS said...

COCK ROCH

Babe Winkleman said...

Did someone say master-baiter?

babble on said...

Ooooooh very punny.

Precicely how DO you do a 40 mph paceline? The downway of a false flat, maybe? What's that, 60 something kmh?? Ha. We do 40 kmh in a criterium, and the cat 1/2 do 50 something, but 60 something? Do people do that? We have a pro or two in our midst, and though they are consistently near the top of the board they certainly aren't always running away with the win every time.

babble on said...

Or is this one of those "gullable isn't in the Oxford English Dictionary, Doll," sort of things?

Anonymous said...

It's "Melburnian" (although we were almost Batmanians - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne#Early_history_and_foundation).

Anonymous said...

Görmeyeli nasılsınız dostlar, geldi çılgın Escortcunuz Emre KANDE. Bana sorulan binlerce mesaj içerisindeki escort istanbul sorulardan Taksim Escort . Üsküdar-Beşiktaş arası çalışıyor, Kadıköy-Beşiktaş arası çalışmıyor seferler iptal. Metrobüsle Mecidiyeköye geçtim ordan indim barbaros bulvarına, çok yoruldum yinede Avrupa Yakası Escort escort istanbul bayanları araştırıp görüşme sağlıyormuş o zaman bizde abimize yardımcı olalım dedim. Gelelim abimizin sorusuna, Birleşme sırasında alınan zevki artırmak için çiftlerin yapabilecekleri başka şey varmıdır ? Güzel istanbul escort bir konudan bahsetmiş, zevk oranını daha çok artırabilmek Kartal Escort için acaba ne yapmalı. Az bi dk beynimi kendine getireyim, şuan ahmet kaya'dan diyarbakırlıymış adı bahtiyar dinliyorum bağladık psikopata. Tamamdır şimdi geldim. Daha fazla zevk için hmm düşünüyorum o zaman varım. Evet, eşler Beşiktaş Escort cinsel kaslarını denetleyebilirler. Pratik ve eğitim sonucu bu kaslar bilinçli bir tarzda denetlenebilir, böylece kadın, vajinası Bostancı Escort içindeki penisi sıkabilir ve tazyik altında tutabilir. Bu Mecidiyeköy Escort kaslar kasılınca vajinanın ağzı hemen hemen tamamiyle kapanır. Kaslar gevşeyince vajinanın ağzı tekrar açılır. Vajinanın dış kısmını kontrol eden bir başka kas Anadolu Yakası Escort daha vardır ki bu organın asıl fonksiyonu işemenin bittiği an idrar akışını durdurmaktır. Ama buda bir istanbul escort önceki kas gibi vajina ağzı üzerinde bir tazyik icra eder. Basit bir Beylikdüzü Escort idman sonucu her kadın bu kasların denetimini Şişli Escort elde edebilir. Bunun için idrararını tutmaya çalışıyor gibi yapmak gerekir. Günde en az yirmi kere... Böylece idrar yolu kasları üzerinde bir denetim imkanı kazanılmış olur. Cinsel zevkin artması için yararlı olabilecek Kadıköy Escort ikinci grup kaslevator kaslardır. Bu grupta üç çeşit kas vardır. Bunlar biraz yabancı gelebilir sizlere ben yinede yazayım, pubococcygeus, iliococygeus ve puborectalis. Bunlar anüsten ön kısma doğru birine sıkı bir şekilde yaklaşır ve bütün vajina boyunca penisi sıkar. Bu kaslar çok güçlüdür escort istanbul ve doğru kullanıldıkları takdirde cinsel zevkin artmasında büyük rol oynar. Levator grubu kasları geliştirmek için en iyi idman barsakları sıkmak şeklinde

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