Thursday, May 7, 2015

Ball Sports: 'Roid Rage and Road Rage



Before anything else, I was saddened yesterday to learn of the passing of Jobst Brandt:


Back in the late 20th century, while still deeply in thrall to Fred-dom, I used to read the "rec.bicycles.tech" group, where Brandt used to tell everybody what was what.  Like any Fred I was highly susceptible to the newest and latest gew-gaws, to the extent that I emptied my savings account to purchase the very first iteration of the Ksyrium.  (It was an illness, I realize that now.)  Even so, Brandt's authoritative and at times irascible posts resonated with me, and I began to realize and embrace the fact that I had retrogrouch tendencies.

The Kysriums didn't last long.  One day I was Just Riding Along in Manhattan when a hormone-addled teen ran out into the street and kicked my rear wheel for no apparent reason.  I didn't break stride, but the wheel went wildly out of true, and it was never the same after that--nor was my faith in bicycle marketing.

Whereas Sheldon Brown's Internet presence was that of the benevolent sage, Brandt was the admonishing parent, and his passing is a loss to cycling, because all of us who ride bikes need people to tell us when we're being fucking idiots.  I won't pretend to be anything close to a proficient wheel builder, but thanks to what I learned over the years from reading his posts I've cobbled together some cheap wheels that have far outperformed those stupid Ksyriums, and I've also kept other wheels going by swapping the rim and saving the spokes.  I've even got a Mavic MA2 still in service, which I consider a nod to him.

Sure I've still got a gimmicky wheelset or two, because when you're a bike blogger in the 21st century it's unavoidable that these things will come into your possession.  I'm also still pretty Fredly, which means I remain liable to be seduced by new bike stuff.  Still, Brandt's attitude informs my underlying attitude about bike stuff, which is that above all it should be serviceable, sensible, and sound.  There's a lot of junk food out there in the cycling marketplace, and while most of us partake in it from time to time, it's important to see it for what it is.

Moving on, evidently baseball player and doper (doesn't one imply the other?) Barry Bonds is sponsoring a cycling team:


I know very little about Barry Bonds because I don't care about baseball.  I wouldn't say I hate baseball exactly, but it is one of those things I don't think about it until something reminds me of it, and then I think to myself, "Yeah, that should just go away."   When people ask me "Yankees or Mets?" I struggle to figure out which team I give fewer fucks about, but I suppose if I had to choose a team to root for I'd go with the Mets, only because there's a strong correlation between driving like a fucking dickbag and having a Yankees logo on your car or person.

Anyway, apparently Bonds has become a born-again Fred (which is the worst kind of Fred really), right down to the Rapha jersey:


And funding a cycling team is laughably cheap when you've got professional baseball money:

According to public documents and records provided by Twenty16, Bonds has donated $104,800 to the team -- roughly half of that through the Bonds Family Foundation -- and raised $96,500 from friends and associates, including Will Chang and Trina Dean, members of the San Francisco Giants' ownership group. Cranmer's management company, Tam Cycling Inc., has 501(c)(3) status, and the team's entire 2015 budget is projected to be under half a million dollars.

However, naturally Bonds's association with doping makes some people uncomfortable:

"There's part of me that feels he can contribute," says veteran pro rider Robin Farina, CEO and co-founder of the Women's Cycling Association advocacy group. "On the other hand, it paints the wrong picture. We're trying to keep an image of clean sport. The sport does need people of his stature and stardom, but we don't need a mixed message for young athletes." Farina says her view is personal and not a WCA position.

Many people bemoan the fact that women's cycling receives so little support, and of course I agree.  (Perhaps this is a calculated move on Bonds's behalf, since it's easier to deflect criticism by pointing out just how badly these particular athletes need money.)  At the same time, it's hard for me to get too worked up over gender inequality in professional cycling, only because pro cycling as it exists is inherently unethical, and therefore it's unreasonable to expect anything good from it.  It's sort of like fundamentalist religious groups: if these people are batshit crazy enough to encase themselves in plastic bags on airplanes, then how can you possibly expect these nutjobs to have anything approaching the common sense it requires to treat women as equals?

So anyway, here comes Barry Bonds with his money and his Rapha jersey and his crabon Specialized or Pinarello or whatever it is to save the "little girls:"

Those benefactors now include Bonds, who said he has no desire to throw millions at the problem but felt compelled to help. "I saw these little girls... and forgive me if I say 'little girls,' they're all so tiny to me -- how much passion they had for something they love to do, for nothing," he says.

Eeew, creepy.  Sure, not as creepy as Mario Cipollini sponsoring a women's cycling team, but creepy nonetheless.

In other news, a guy in Portland pitched a u-lock at a car from his lofty perch above a tall bike:


My first thought upon seeing the photo was that in Portland hood ornament horseshoes has become the new bike polo, but apparently the driver (or the driver's mother) and the tall biker got into some sort of altercation, and then the u-locks started to fly.

As for the second cyclist with the mismatched socks, as it turns out he merely happened upon the situation as it was unfolding, and he was kind enough to email me an account of what he witnessed.  Here it is, from the point of his arrival:

At this point, the gold BMW was exceedingly close behind us, blaring its horn. As I looked behind me, the lock was thrown (if I had to guess where it connected, I'd say license plate). As the tallbiker pulled a u-turn to retrieve his lock, he effectively cut me off, and I stopped. At this point, the car swerved onto the sidewalk and both passengers exited. I asked the driver (daughter) what was going on as the passenger (mom) charged the tallbike (it appeared to me as though she was ready to knock him off of the bike). The tall biker defensively extended his foot as he passed, neither party seemed to suffer any damage (though mom's phone dropped), and the tallbiker continued on his way. At this point, mom's attention turns to me, and the first thing she asks is if "this is what [I] represent". I tried to explain that I was just riding around my neighborhood, but it became clear that I was being yelled at by an extremely angry person, who was predictably less-than-reasonable. I left after mom started accusing me of being complicit, taking my photo, and denying all culpability- though she made sure to mention that she occasionally rides to work, lives between two greenways, and has friends in the "cycling community." As mother is yelling at me, daughter has retreated to the car, visibly and extremely upset.

Only in Portland does a motorist in the throes of road rage point out that she rides to work, lives near two greenways, and has friends in the "cycling community."

Here they just glower at you from beneath the flat brims of their Yankees caps, point their Jeep Grand Cherokee Limiteds at you, and gun it.

Finally, here's a Kickstarter for a light that looks like balls:


The inventor was very persistent about sending me a pair, but I refused for a number of reasons, not least of which is that when you have kids your bike lights become their toys and I don't need mine showing up at at school with an illuminated scrotum.

Also, I'd never use it in a billion years.

I'll give them one thing though, which is that it takes a rather large pair to ask over $11,000 for what is essentially a novelty item.

Maybe Barry Bonds will fund it.  They could even offer a miniature set as an homage to his steroid use.

119 comments:

Ted K Critic said...

Today Ted K is slow as shit.

Buffalo Bill said...

Homer!

Anonymous said...

Pdio! First time!

Anonymous said...

Just off the pace.......Top X

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Almost podiating! Drafting youze guyze!

vsk

grog said...

OOOO BABE
THAN KYOU

Anonymous said...

Gotta love Barry Bonds' helment-tanlines!

Grump said...

Never fell for the Ksyrium game, but I did buy a used set of Rev-X wheels. I guess that I was lucky that they never assploded on me, like all the critics said they would. Building and rebuilding wheels can save you tons of coin over the years.

P. Bateman said...

jew-bag.

my lob that is wonderful. thank you snob.

P. Bateman said...

apparently i'm early to the comments, but way late to internet phenoms like the Freshly Sealed Jew. 2013...wow, i need to check my internet - i always miss the good stuff and am left with things like Foxnews and BSNYC...

Dave said...

And God said to the rabbi, "Aw, go stifle yourself."

Joe K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PotbellyJoe said...

I for one am amazed they could find a helmet for Barry's massive skull.

This whole thing with "women's cycling needs more attention" is so annoying. People don't watch amateur cycling on TV either, it has nothing to do with gender.

I was a victim of Title IX in college. My sports in HS were swimming and crew. Both of the sports were dropped from varsity sports at my college during my time there because of the need to "balance" the programs for women and men.

I know it's the misapplication of Title IX as its intent was not to defund men's programs, but fund more women's programs, but the whole gender equity thing is crassly overblown. Especially when it is used by a cheating liar looking to earn back some public kudos.

dop said...

scranus

Philip said...

Ball Racing ornaments.

McFly said...

I've been roided out all week. I have not payed much attention to my nuts. I may go into the restroom and have a gander.

Anonymous said...

People should ignore not only women's cycling, but men's too!

P. Bateman said...

this bag of jew is simply blowing my mind.

i love the little knot he tied. he looks like a roast in an oven bag.

damn it, i'm going to stare at that photo for hours...

PotbellyJoe said...

@P. Bateman,

Like you this concept of a B.o'J. confuses and astounds me.

I wish I knew more Orthodox Jews so I could ask about this, I wonder if it's like the hole in the sheet technique of getting around certain commands.

Hole in Sheet

bad boy of the north said...

oh balz! I forgot what I was gonna say.roboburgers.

Dr Green said...

Snobs, please promise to never mention the illuminated scrotum project again. The image is burned in my brain and I am ashamed. Thank you for refusing to take the free balls. God help us.

bad boy of the north said...

...and tossing a u-lock?definitely a jerk move.more burgers.

ubercurmudgeon said...

R.I.P. Jobst Brandt

This blog post is worth a read:

https://rayhosler.wordpress.com/2015/05/06/jobst-brandt-leaves-behind-memories-to-last-a-lifetime/

GreySpoke said...

Seat rails are for Tools, not Jewels

jt said...

I'm a longtime and consistent reader of your column. Every once in a while I leave a comment in the hopes that it encourages you to continue writing (if indeed you need any encouragement to do so).
I thoroughly enjoy your writing and am grateful you continue to do it. Please keep up the fantastic work.

jt

P. Bateman said...

@potbelly...

a hole in the sheet?

like a glory hole? or in this case a glory be to god hole.
or maybe the way you would fuck a ghost?

PotbellyJoe said...

@ P. Bateman,

I have no idea. I just found that era of UCB hysterical.

Freddy Murcks said...

It happens in SLC too. I had a lady try to run me over and while I was yelling at her and telling her to watch where the fuck she was going, she was kind enough to tell me that she too rides a bike sometimes as though that made it okay that she had just tried to kill me. It was years ago and I am still somewhat flabbergasted by the arrogance and stupidity.

Freddy Murcks said...

Oh, as for the Ksyriums: I had a pair once. They gave me years of reliable service. I don't think I ever trued them in spite of the fact that I am a fat bastard and I rode a lot. The rear wheel died when rim cracked and one of the spokes ripped out, but I think the front wheel is perfectly serviceable.

Craig Richards said...

"What? I have bike friends! I'm not prejudice. There are cyclists in my neighborhood. I'm basically one of them."

Freddy Purvis said...

A well lit scranus is a road that leads to perdition and fantastic in the dark group sex.

Craig Richards said...

Unrelated: My buddy told me a story yesterday. He was biking like a mile home from his job and he had neglected to wear his helmet. While stopped at a light a motorist near him proceeded to heckle him about his unprotected dome. Then she told him he should be walking it if he's not protected.

And then she rear ended the car in front of her.

P. Bateman said...

@potbelly - oh, i had missed your link. that is the best thing i've seen in a long time. well, other than the Bag-O-Jew.

Vernal Magina said...

haha. oh man, that last kicker at the end about Barry Bonds' little steroids-shrunken balls had me lolling.

well played!

Anonymous said...

I doubt that's the first time she has had a set of balls gently smacking her back side.

Anonymous said...

Jobst posted frequently to rec.bikes....

Collected here:

http://yarchive.net/bike/index.html

It would be easy to spend all day...

Scene from 'The 'Higgs Field' Post Graduate said...

Two words Benjamin ...


Scrotuminal Luminescence

Comment deleted said...

I have mixed feelings about Mr. Bonds, but my good friend and bandmate (R.I.P. Mark) used to ride with him on informal rides in the Ventura/Ojai area. He said that Barry is a pretty affable fellow out on the roads, and exhibits none of the dickishness he was known for in the SF Giants clubhouse.

Heaven forbid he should "taint" the squeaky-clean sport of cycling with his sponsorships, though.

Poppa Wheelie said...

I also strongly believe that cars with the Yankee stickers (at least locally)are the most aggressively dangerous. Glad we agree BSNYC.

PotbellyJoe said...

@P. Bateman,

You were probably still dazzled by the B.o'J to have noticed such an insignificant link.

Also, Amy Poehler circa 1998.

I am not a robot, that was a different episode.

Blog Drafter said...

Excellent writing Snob. I lol'd at the Yankee drivers reference and my fellow slaves wanted to know what was so funny so I read it to them and they lol'd too. You'll be seeing a few more hits until you insult them and they run off.

Still riding my Ksyriums…nine years with no problems that I'm aware of, although they're harsh as shit compared to my HEDs.

Paul Bowen said...

haemorrhoid lights more like

Anonymous said...

Hand-wringing about taking Barry Bond's sponsorship but Amgen's money's all good? lol lol pro cycling is a joke.

JB said...

1. RIP Jobst Brandt

2. Did you notice the subtitle to the Bonds article: "...toward another sport [cyling] once tainted by doping"? ONCE?! Nice spin.

3. So, the tall biker u-turned to retrieve the u-lock and the lady was after him? It was sort of glossed over how he got off the tall bike, picked up the lock, and re-mounted the tall bike.

4. Glowing scranus

Spokey said...

those swinging balls are as dangerous as yankee drivers.

drivers drive towards what they are looking at. it's one thing to notice a cyclist, it's another to be staring at those balls.

bammmmmmm

on a sidenote. i don't have any cyclist friends to ride with. don't have any car friends either. that's why i post here when i'm not riding. or doing the laundry.

WTF? first post today and the damn robot makes me pick out ice cream. fuggit. i'm going to do some laundry.

ConspiracyBrother said...

Could Ted K. and Ted K Critic be the same person?

(They have never been seen together.)

Team CIPOtonic said...

Team Cippo Enrollment Prerequisites

1. Female*.
2. 14 years to 24 years of age.
3. No discernible baffi.
4. I.Q. 14 to 24.
5. Willing to consume vitamins and medicines for the good of the team.
6. Not averse to night workouts and special one on one consultations with team director sportif Super Mario.
7. Did I mention no baffi?

*All examinations performed by director medico Super Mario.

Anonymous said...

"Bonds's association with doping makes some people uncomfortable:"


not as much as his association with young white girls

Charles, Bill and FREDeric 'THe Cock' brothersk said...

A well lit scranus is a safe scarnus. Video scranus survaillance is a great inexpensive idea too. Great for backup as evidence in court.

Anonymous said...

You needed someone to tell you to just reuse spokes?

Trivia: Peter Magowan, the owner of the SF Giants during the run out of Barry Bond's career is, I believe, of the same Magowan family as Felix Magowan, CEO of Velonews during Lance's heyday. I believe Peter is uncle to Felix. Safeway money.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:00pm,

Yes. Someone had to teach me how to ride a bike too.

--Wildcat Etc.

1904 Cadardi said...

Way back in 1984, after reading a Bicycling mag article on custom wheels I decided to build my first set of nice wheels. I checked out Jobst Brandt's The Bicycle Wheel from the library and taking his advice I bought some 36 hole Campagnolo Nuovo Record hubs, a handful of DT Spokes and Mavic E2 rims. Following the instructions I laced, tensioned, stress relieved and finally trued them using the brake calipers on my bike. Those wheels lasted for many years of abuse, including 2 seasons of cat 4 racing finally and terminally tacoed the front. It's now 2015 and I'm still using that front hub now laced with DT spokes to a Mavic OpenPro rim.

Jobst was an uber curmudgeon, but when he was right, he was right. And 36 hole, box section, double eyeleted rims laced with DT spokes to a low flange hub is about as right as a wheel can be.

Jobst, have fun catching up with Sheldon.

And Snob, thanks for remembering him so kindly.

Fantastic Barney Frederickson said...

Dear Doktor Fried,

Speaking scranusially, is it true that Elton John has a bioluminescent rimmed bunghole. It glows green so I am told.

Anonymous said...

A couple of days ago I put a copy of The Bicycle Wheel in my Amazon basket. I didn’t complete my purchase right then (I needed to add a new card), but when I returned to my task the next day — after Jobst Brandt had died — I found that the price had gone up by more than a dollar.

BamaPhred said...

Scranus

EPO it's not just for breakfast anymore. said...

"We're trying to keep an image of clean sport."

2X LOL. Had coffee coming out of both nostrils (does that make it some kind of drip coffee, that the shop can charge you $4.00 for?)

Yeah, keep a clean image, but whatever goes on behind the image, so long as it isn't caught, is OK.

Scrantus Erectus said...

Light em up balls; send a pair to Babble and she'll wear them around her neck while riding, I'm guessing, no I'm convinced.

Anonymous said...

Ya think Cipo and Bonds will have a race? I mean they both have women's teams now. Method of scoring points tbd.

Anonymous said...

Why the weird animosity towards Barry Bonds? The guy has done a shit ton of charity work over the last 25 years (that he doesn't seek press from--he actually detests the press). Have you seen how big he was/is? Every freakin' woman looks little to him, especially 93lb cycling waifs.
So he doped--although it was actually never proven in court. The guy gave some money to needy cyclists shouldn't we just say "OK, I guess that's cool" and move on? Seems like you have a silly double standard when someone wealthy advocates for cycling as opposed to someone poor. More cyclists = better for all, 'nuff said.

Tyler Hamilton's Chimera Bethtilda said...

Snob, You are known as a resident expert in the field of velo related useless information. What I want to know is do you think that Jobst Brandt would have lived past 80 had he, back in the day, ridden wearing a helment?

James said...

I followed his book the Bicycle Wheel religiously for building dozens of wheelsets for self and friends. Solid.
Appreciated the way he called Brooks saddles "Ass Hatchets" for their tendency to reform with a ridge in the middle after being wet. Made me laugh. Love my Brookses... all 5 of them.

PotbellyJoe said...

@Anon 4:31,

Is it weird that a guy who is a cheat, a royal asshole, and an arrogant prick should be called out for all three?

I'm sure Dick Cheney gave a ton to charity too. That doesn't mean I have to cut him any slack.

late_late_late said...

Why the weird animosity towards Barry Bonds?

Look what happens when you dope. You make Barry Bonds money! And now he'll give you some!

You know what happens when you stand between two mirrors pointed at each other? It's like that.

The sad thing really is that $500,000 is actually paying maybe two people on that team besides the team manager. One of them earning barista wages. The rest are "pro" in name only. Basically, free travel and some discounts on kit. USAC takes a nice tax on that sponsorship too!

leroy said...

I rode home last night behind a cyclist with two round orb lights swinging from his saddle.

I was going to ask where I could get a pair for my dog to replace the set he lost.

But then I thought that would just piss him off.

And we don't need that.

Spokey said...

mr. leroy

your dog has been whispering around that they were never lost. something about how you took them. he believes they are locked in that safe.

and yes, he is still pissed. or should i say she is still pissed? on the other hand, don't let him know i said that last part.

Jihad Jablowme said...

Ted K.,

I've just finished reading your Manifesto. Very interesting take on who should live and who should not. Hey! I'm sorry I can't supply you with the C4 plastique that you require to finish your project. I'm all out of stock. Keep in touch. J.J.

Anonymous said...

http://sheldonbrown.com/org/journal/santacruz06/images/scb-jobst-by-h.jpg

Excellent remembrance of the ultimate retro-grouch, snobby. Jobst was as bad ass as he was unique - industry outsider, inventor of "underbiking", and a brilliant mind. With Sheldon already gone and now this, who is left to carry the torch?

Holy Roller said...

I think it's one of the Top Ten Commandments that the well Pharaoh brought down from Mt. Everest. Commandment 8.5, article 6, whereas it states, 'One must totally encase oneself in polyethylene plastic while flying over graveyards.'

David Pearce said...

I hope you guys are also following voyage of the recreated French ship Hermione, even though it was reported more than two weeks late by NPR.

It surely will be the event of the late spring / summer, and every news outlet, including BSNYC will be forced to cover it.

The NYTimes covered it timely, as did many other news outlets. It left France April 18, and has already sojourned for five days, May 1-5, at the port city of Las Palmas, Gran Canaria, part of the Canary Islands, a Spanish possession, off the coast of Africa.

After reaching Yorktown, Virginia, planned for June 7, it will make its way up the eastern seaboard, and help New York City celebrate the Forth of July, when it docks in NYC July 1-4.

The website is: http://www.hermione.com/accueil/, and I have to say, they are right on top of the social media, and their blogues, in French, are the best, and there is an English mirror site, but I like the French better.

It is going to be the event of the season, and right NOW, they are making their way, little by little, in a tall, newly built ship, across the Atlantic!!

Let's give them a little prayer that all goes well and that there are no deaths and no one falls off the rigging and is lost at sea.

David Pearce said...

Hermione website:

http://www.hermione.com/accueil/

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:31pm,

First of all, if he wants to sponsor a bike racing team that's fine with me, I'm just going to make jokes about it, that's all.

Second of all, he's not "advocating for cycling," he's helping some people race their bikes. Big difference. Again, that's fine he's indulging in his hobby, but let's not pretend this is advocacy.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Comment deleted said...

Pretty cool, Ensign Pearce. She's a beauty, but I've always had a thing for frigates.

Stewie Griffin said...

Yes! I can vouch for the fact that Elton John has a bioluminescently illuminated anal pore. Aids in the landing it does.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dear Shipsnob: The Hermoine sounds swell. It reminds me of my days Tramp Steamer racing out of Patagonia. We flatted coming around the corner at Terra del Fuego and had to lay up while they waited for a new tube to arrive from southern Chile. We had to send the first one back because it was a schrader valve, and not a presta valve.

Anonymous said...

http://www.ebay.com/itm/VINTAGE-SEARS-CRAFTSMAN-ELECTRIC-VIBRATOR-TOOL-KIT-WORKS-GOOD-/390392638244?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5ae536eb24

Old-timer said...

Lantern Rouge on the Thursday run-in! And so begins Friday...

babble on said...

Humuckingdinger of a day.

Excellent post, Snobi Wan. Loved the bitty balls bit at the end. Heh heh. I needed a chuckle today. Oh, and Thank You for mentioning the struggle for parity between the sexes. Hats off. You are a gem amongst men.

So on the CBC's show The Current this morning, there was a piece about pay disparity between the sexes. Even amongst women who have the same education, the same experience, who work the same hours and who have not taken time off for child rearing, women earn (on average) $8000 less per year than men. And you may not be aware, but it costs a fuck of a lot more to be a woman, too. Look at the price of haircuts. Clothing. Drycleaning. FUCKING TAMPONS!! Feminine hygiene products have a fucking LUXURY tax on them, as if any woman could do without them.

So. I am sorry you think it's crass, Mr Potbelly Joe, but I take exception to your comment about gender equity. At last year's Superweek, the organisers were bragging about how there was pay parity between the mens and women's races, and yes, the podium prizes were the same, but the primes at the crtieriums were unbelievably unfair. The women had a hundred dollar prime every five laps. The men started at a hundred, but not only did they have way more primes, they also had prizes ranging from one hundred to eight hundred dollars a lap. And so as a man enjoying more money for the same job it is more than a little crass that any man should object to somebody raising the whole gender equity issue. It is a far fucking way from overblown.

K. Done babbling on. G'day.

Eddy Merckx said...

I'm really getting excited for the Grand Fondue New York. The hour record? Psshht. I have the Gruyere record, the most consumed in an hour. I beat that kraut Jan Ullrich handily.

Bruce Jenner said...

My genders are equal

nobody cares about crit primes

clit primes are what matters

Ted K. said...

"I've just finished reading your Manifesto. Very interesting take on who should live and who should not."

Not sure what you have read, but if it says "who should live and who should not" someone else wrote.

"I'm sorry I can't supply you with the C4 plastique that you require to finish your project.

I finished my part of the project, as I agreed to after my writings were published in 2 major newspapers. While I was working on it I used black powder I made myself, by hand, from raw materials. I did not need materiel manufactured by the Industry Complex.

Anonymous said...

teddy k......it's material,not materiel...should've read a dictionary...

bad boy of the north said...

number 82.roboicecream

Robert McNamera said...

Uh, Anonymous @ 3:00 PM, it is spelled "materiel" when referring to war-making matter controlled by the state.

Robert McNamera, again, dammit! said...

Shit. I meant Anonymous @ 8:05 AM. Fuggin' Anonymous hacked my clock! Yeah, that's it...

Ted K. said...

Anonymous at 8:05am:

You just made the list, buddy.

JLRB said...

RIP Jobst Brandt

I wish I had more patience to learn from your book

I remember when Barry Bonds was a skinny young playa for the Buccos - Bonds and Bonilla - never delivered a Series but they made many playoff runs - like Lance I think personality had something to do with the level of scrutiny applied to the drug abuse

AND I find myself in Portland for workie - here at same time as Mr. President - just saw Chris King on the news (talking about exporting beik parts)

Nobody has hurled a u-lock at me, yet

Captain Jamaica Jonas said...

Aaaarrrggghh, The Hermione.
I ran her down in me sloop, whipped out the 16 pounder, and swabbed her poop deck.
After that I keelhauled the crew and blew them down, just because I could.

dop said...

Ted K...a bit too soon for that kind of joke

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

A prayer to Saint Jobst

As you look down on us from your saddle on high may your wisdom continue to enlighten us and with your guidance may our wheels always be true.

Amen

Its dangerous business walking... said...

just fyi, Bonds is/has been dating Mari Holden (Word TT Champion, Silver Medal Olympian) who is one of the team directors of Twenty16....... for a number of years. So it isn't SO MUCH of a coincidence that he's pretty heavily involved. He's been going to Tour of California with her and riding in the team car for at least a couple yeras.

Anonymous said...

Robert ncnamera @842am and @844am
thanks,i stand corrected.
oh,and sorry about the clock.
teddy k,wouldn't be the first list I was on.lol.

Ted K. said...

"Ted K...a bit too soon for that kind of joke"

I agree.

There are 2 people posting as Ted K. The second is using the simple hack of posting under Name/URL, and coping the plus.google.com profile address as the URL.

Ted K. said...

Note comments from the original Ted K. have the profile picture next to the name.

bad boy of the north said...

94

BamaPhred said...

The best part of the U Lock tossing incident was Recumbabe. Did no one comment? I missed it if it happened, cause Strava.

dop said...

The FBI was concerned about copycats.

dop said...

Part of recumbabe's insoucience

dop said...

if not most of her insoucience

dop said...

(or, the mona lisa grimace)

dop said...

is from sitting on a ulock

dop said...

sideways.

dop said...

I think the great carnac, when interrupted by Ed McMahon, once said, "may your mother be goosed by a thousand ulocks"


(love the new spellcheck. I feel so erudite)

Spokey said...

congrats dop

i don't think little peaches has a u-lock but i could email her and ask her to toss a cable lock at JLRB while he's out there. i'm sure she could bring her bike in to the office.

Anonymous said...

When will urban douche bags stop making me ashamed to be riding a bike? WHEN U-LOCKS FLY OUT OF MY ASS!

Glory said...

Remind me why biek-riders have to represent the wholedom of biekers including the ones who run red lights blah blah blah? None of the other oppressed and/or menaced minorities to which I belong seems to carry this obligation.

dop said...

ulock guy needed more arc on his shot

JB said...

Yes, we're really worried about who is the "real" Ted K. and who is the "fake" Ted K.

Ted K. said...

"we're really worried about who is the "real" Ted K. and who is the "fake" Ted K."

Note I used the term "original", to indicate the first person posting here under that name. I did not use the terms "real" nor "fake."

And while anyone can post any joke they wish, I do not want jokes that may be construed threatening attributed to me, if I did not make the joke.

PotbellyJoe said...

@Babs,

Sorry to touch a nerve. I'm just very much of the economics of scale.

I'm bitter my favorite sports were effectively cancelled because of the misapplication of a law.

I get that races and prizes are heavily titled towards men, but there are also typically far more male racers, and therefore races, meaning they also have a greater share of sponsorship $. It sucks.

I work for a company that actively balances pay for men and women. I support equal pay for men and women based on their merit.

When it comes to sports, you should be paid on take at the gate and concessions. If they are lower for women's events and the participants are equal in count (i.e WNBA) guess what has to drop? compensation.

babble on said...

And yet studies consistently show that men are evaluated on potential whilst women are evaluated on performance.
There are fewer women in the sport because there is less exposure for women's events. It's a chicken and egg sort of thing whose causes are many and deep rooted. Like systemic racism. It is a conversation we are duty bound to hold, no matter how distasteful the discourse.

Ted K Critic said...

While there may be multiple Ted K's, I am thus far the only Ted K Critic. Well except for all the other Ted K critics (lowercase c). Anyway if he doesn't post any more manifesto bits then I guess I'm out of a job.

1983 David Byrne to Ted K said...

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

Ted K Cricket said...

chirp

AYHL UMBS said...

All You Haters Light Up My Ball Sack

PotbellyJoe said...

Babs,

I respect your opinion.

I agree that evaluation of women and men in the work place should be fair and equitable.

Just as i believe that sports should be fair and equitable.

If more fans pay more money to watch and more TV viewers watch so sponsors pay more, why should it not be that men's sports are better supported?

On one hand you preach equity and the other you preach the opposite.

I think sports are crucial to the development of boys and girls and teach valuable lessons. Pro or compensated sports are different than youth leagues through to college. Once it's away from amateur participation, compensation, sponsorship and all else should be on the performance of that event to bring in its own dollars.

Fairness is getting a fair share of what you have earned.

Anonymous said...

Well said potbelly. sad that the snob is playing it safe on the topic. It's entertainment you're not entitled to an audience or a living . There's either a market for it or not. not an example from the pros. But checkout the field for the recent mission crit. maxed field of ~60 men and a field of 8 women. Same payouts is that "fair"? considering most of the money came from people buying tickets to mainly see the men racing and entry fees from the men.

ce said...

Way to go Ted K, now you've gone and blown up the fourth wall too.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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