Friday, March 13, 2015

BSNYC Friday Inordinately Huge Line For a Sub-Par Food Truck!

Good news for Portlanders!  They never have to work again!

(Sorry, just kidding about the "again" part.)

Soon, America's favorite artisanal layabouts can just buy a bike and craft while the cash rolls (or at least trickles) in, thanks to their new "user-owned bike-sharing system:"


Here's the story from BikePortland:


A share of the revenue from each rental, Spinlister says, will go to each bike’s owner. (As with Spinlister’s existing peer-to-peer bike rental system, Spinlister will presumably get a cut.) The company even says that it “has plans to subsidize and finance the bicycles to allow users to pay the bicycles back through rental revenue over time.”

Naturally, this raises some questions:

There are a lot of unanswered questions here. How much will the bikes cost to buy? Who sets the rental prices? Who will keep the tires pumped? If a bike gets damaged, who decides who has to pay for repairs? If the brakes fail at the wrong moment and someone rolls into a fire hydrant, whose insurance policy is liable?

Though my main question is:

You're really going to rely on the average schmuck to lock the bike correctly?


At least with Citi Bike you have to use an actual station wait for the green light to tell you that you did it right.  With this system it seems like just a matter of time before some bonehead locks a bike to a table leg and someone comes along, lifts the table, and makes off with the bike.

Also, the bikes seem too nice.

I guess we'll see.

Meanwhile, here in New York, we received a visit from a woman who's circumnavigating the globe via human power:



On the New Jersey side of the bridge, she met a photographer for The Times, Ashley Gilbertson.

He was also on a bike.

Mr. Gilbertson is making a documentary about bicycle messengers — from his own fixed-gear bike — so he had no problem taking Ms. Outen’s portrait while riding.

“It was a bit better shooting Sarah than the bike messengers,” he said. “Sarah, thankfully for me, not for her, was on a 150-pound bike.”

“She could only go so fast.”

He added, “It’s such a ‘Welcome to New York.’ You meet an Australian on a track bike who starts taking pictures of you as you cross the bridge.”

I would have turned around and gone straight back to Jersey.

Clearly she's a better person than I am though, and she even helped a Brompton rider fix a flat:
This was very considerate of her, but why was repairing it even necessary?  Why not just carry a second Brompton with you?

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you will inherit the Earth, and if you're wrong you'll see a commercial.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and always carry at least one spare Brompton.


--Wildcat Rock Machine






1) .-- .... .- - / .. ... / - .... . / -. --- -.- . ..--..

--  .- / -.- . -.-- .-.. . ... ... / -... .. -.- . / .-.. --- -.-. -.-
--  .- / .-.. --- -.-. -.- .-.. . ... ... / -... .. -.- . / -.- . -.--
--  .- / --. --- -.. .-.. . ... ... / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .- - ..- .-.. .- .-. / .. -. / - .... . / -- .. -. -.. / --- ..-. / .--- . ... ..- ...
--  .- / .--. .- ... - .- / -- .- -.. . / ..-. .-. --- -- / .--. --- - .- - --- . ...







2) Freds need incessant hand-holding, even when it comes to making a doody.

--True
--False








3) Which is a sign that fat bikes are like sooo over?

--Target sells them
--George Hincapie rides them
--Spring is like a week away
--All of the above








4) How much for these derailleur pulleys?

--$100
--$1,000
--$10,000
--Your soul








5) Inside the fairing, the rider is making "Pew-Pew-Pew!" laser sounds.

--True
--False





(UCI president Brian Cookson)


6) Which is not one of the measures the UCI is undertaking in the wake of the CIRC report?

--Work to enshrine a fit-and-proper-persons requirement in the team licensing process, focussed on the key roles in the staff, such as sports directors and doctors
--Work with the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) and other experts to analyse new substances and trends, to assess what should be added to the prohibited or monitored lists
--Work with WADA to improve the speed of athlete biological passport cases
--Work closely in order to further work in close proximity with those working to proactively effectuate the elimination of doping aw fuck it nobody's even reading this does anybody actually buy this bullshit? 








7) Ahoy, Water Freds!  The Schiller S1 is the Fixie of the Sea!

--True
--False



***Special "This Guy Has No Idea What He's Talking About"-Themed Bonus Video***



Please send me the tires, they're perfectly fine.

109 comments:

Anonymous said...

lantine blanc?

Vernal Magina said...

Man, I gotta get a life...

Bamaphred said...

Podiodio

Steven Salas said...

wow, top ten.

Anonymous said...

Ciao ragazzi!

Jonh smith said...

Dammit missed the pudin, toppus eqqus i guess.

Anonymous said...

Vai vai andiamo!!!

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

8th? Seven people need to get a life!

Anonymous said...

no idea what you're talking about....

but Top 10!

crosspalms said...

The tire guy never noticed I used those $1,000 ninja throwing pulleys to puncture his tires.

Anonymous said...

Those are actually great tires. Something seems weird with his setup because I don't think Continental makes that tire in anything but 26". Rim looks too narrow as well.

Freddy Murcks said...

I was slowed down by the goofy tiller effect resulting from running a 250mm stem of a 52cm frame. I did at least have enough sense to "slam" it, however.

Anonymous said...

Google translate auto-detected "Haitian Creole" when I entered quiz question #1. No wonder I can't understand them.

RB1 said...

Contis do give off those threads, though.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Snobbie, Warbler and Pinecone. There is no privacy.

Sam Morse said...

I think I painted a portrait of a Haitian Creole once.

africansingle said...

Just off the top 10 and I even stopped to watch the stupif fucking Audi commercial. Nice tossing the of the trash at 0.40 into the vid.

BikeSnobNYC said...

RB1,

It's true, they do...and it has no effect whatsoever. (Though on my most grossly neglected bikes they do sometimes wind up wrapped around the axle.)

--Wildcat Rock machine

africansingle said...

0.14

Anonymous said...

Excuse me…can you please tell me where the “Fon-Don’t” ride starts? Oh, and do you have some tube patches and a pump that I can borrow?

Impaction Jackson said...

Having a hard time getting "going" this morning. Looking for someone to give me a perineum massage per the Bicycling article. Anyone?

Philip IV of France said...

That's strange, the Snob had nothing bad to say about Ms.Sarah Outen nor her trip.

Must be Friday the 13th.

P. Bateman said...

happy friday - safe riding. i even hope you yankees get nice weather.

see, its not all lunacy,perversion, morse code and waka flocka flame in the comments section.

plenty of people have nice things to say.

cheers.

Philip IV of France said...

But can the Snob say something bad about this guy?

I do not remember my name right now but when I do recall I'll get right back to you said...

New Hip Hipster Environ ...

Area south of the intersection of Scrotum Street & Anus Avenue ...

SoScranus!

Anonymous said...

Phil of Phrance,

No point in getting snarkey about someone's epic trip. More power to her! I wish I had the time. Well, maybe I wouldn't after riding 1000 miles on a 150 lb bike, but no point in passing judgement on Sarah O. I hope she enjoys her travels through NYC.

Now, if Sarah told us all what to ride to achieve cycling nirvana (150 lbs of Fat Bike?) then let the snarking begin...

Fst Freddy Poopie Bibs said...

laterne brun

Endo-King said...

Re: Question 1.

WCRM,

I lost my fist a long time ago. Don't make me go Google this.

Endo-King said...

'He added, “It’s such a ‘Welcome to New York.’ You meet an Australian on a track bike who starts taking pictures of you as you cross the bridge.”

I would have turned around and gone straight back to Jersey.'

FerChrissakes - Have you BEEN to New Jersey !

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Woulda won the podio but I spent 20 minutes deciphering the quiz question. I got it right though. Along with all the others.

That person is nuts. What on Earth possesses someone to ride an upright bike across continents is beyond me. A comfy recumbent bike would work so much better for a ride like that.

On the opposite end of the spectrum I think the water fred sled is the perfect place to utilize the belt drive system.

Please show that still of Uma riding away from the camera again or at least recumbabe.

Have a nice weekend.

Philip IV of France said...

"No point in getting snarkey about someone's epic trip.

Of course. But when was the last time the Snob mentioned someone here adn did NOT say anything snarkly about them?

(Last time I remember is JULY 19, 2011 where he mentions Sam Whittingham in this post. That’s 1333 days and counting.)

Anonymous said...

Jeezum! That electronic lock has kickstarted $70K!?!?

bieks said...

All that cutting and pasting and transmogrifying morse coditude yesterday paid off! STOP

Or, it was just a lucky guess. STOP

grog said...

Still no Babe! I'm going back to New Jersey.
FUNQ UIZZ
FRID AY13
RIDE NICE

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Yesterday, Paris-Nice coverage, the usual Chateau heleicopter porn shot.

Bob R says something to the effect of "Not as many serfs in France to care for the grand chateau's of France anymore."

Love it, the guy has a way with words.

Anonymous said...

Is Continental a new sponsor?

Anonymous said...

The Spinlister idea is not bad and the bikes are better. I would expect that someone who is going to go to the trouble of seeking such a system out can be trusted to lock the bike properly. I would rather ride one of those than a citibike and why the fuck do we need to advertise for Citibank? Think outside the box.

bieks said...

Wow, glad I guessed at the NOKE question. I would have totes gone for the pasta since the lock's not entirely keyless and I'm feeling a little pedantic today. It'll pass - once I read Bicycling.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Yesterday, Paris-Nice coverage, Bob R goes through an endless soliloquy on how doping doesn't just endanger the rider and the other riders on the team, but every member of the whole team. Uses Robobank as an example, team gone, sponsor gone (at least one sponsor wised and decided to take a shower).

Hilarious, I'm quite confident that after hearing that, every rider in pro cycling flushed everything right down the toilet.

Anonymous said...

.--. --- -.. .. ..- -- ..--..

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:13pm,

I think it's an intriguing idea, but I would not underestimate people's inability to lock bikes up improperly.

I also would like to know who is ultimately responsible in the case of theft or injury. Same goes for all these "sharing economy" companies. (Uber, Airbnb, et al.) Sharing economy sounds nice until the company doesn't want to share the blame.

As for advertising Citibank, I'm sure we'd love to see a more likable company step up to sponsor a bike share system, but I don't think they're falling over themselves to do it.

But I do think this Portland thing is intriguing, and certainly it's the right city in which to try it. (Small and bike-friendly.)

--Wildcat And So Forth

JLRB said...

Desire to Defecate

JLRB said...

Impaction @1:06 - That taint what I expected to read after massage in biekcycle mag

wishiwasmerckx said...

Video was not HD enough to tell, but it appeared as if the numskull didn't seat the tire bead properly on the rim, resulting in the bulge.

Besides, I am told that there is nothing BabbleOn enjoys more than a nice bulge, n'est-ce pas?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Full disclosure: I have been running Continental tyres on my plastic dork chariot of late, and am quite pleased with them.

Jasayin said...

First bike share video at 1:29 is something to share

JLRB said...

How has Sarah Outen circumnavigated the globe using only human power?

She "crossed the Pacific by rowboat and kayak." GTFOOH?!?

JLRB said...

“It was a bit better shooting Sarah than the bike messengers,”


no, No, NO - shoot the messengers

Anonymous said...

A GODLESS FUCKATULAR IN THE MIND OF JESUS

John Fred and his Plowboy Band said...

****ATTENTION ALL PODIA WHORES AND OTHER LURKING MISCREANTS****

Snob really got his jollies today by torturing you all and not posting till 12:33 PM. If you HOPE to win at this competitive level you had better be on the DOPE. Capisco?

bad boy of the north said...

no sh*%!so that was the straight poop on how to poop?
I was talking about our friend(fred)riding in Estonia.

crosspalms said...

bieks,
Not just the Morse code, also the Finnish.

NYC Bus Driver's Union Spokesperson said...

Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!

trama said...

I palped a pair of 26" T&C around deep stretches of india for a year and they worked fine. zero problems. I pooped a lot though, and often. Sometimes even in a toilet, but not often.

Anonymous said...

if you eat a tube of bike lube you can go doodie easier

Hot Karl Marx said...

My friend has those tires. He used a Sharpie to make it say "tow a cunt."

Anonymous said...

Ugh, anti-climatic tire fail video. I was kind of hoping that tire was going to explode as he was up close to it. Not that I wish him harm, but would have scared the crap out of the viewer. Sorry for the foul language, I'm Canadian.

bieks said...

Trama - maybe Bicycling should have suggested those T&C tires in their article as they were obviously the cause of your pooping. Never buy them again!

bieks said...

...unless you can't poop. Then buy them.

balls™ said...

I guess some people really are better off paying the L.B.S. to install a tire.

I also like the way he thinks the seam in the mold for the tread is the tire cracking apart. If this guy see his own ass-crack in a mirror he might end up doing something stupid.

McFly said...

I thought it was TERLET. My Conti Gators are unraveling.....it makes a nice majestic rustling sound over 19 mph.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The other Elvis said...

You tease, and you flirt, and shine all the buttons on your green shirt

That's What She said...

That

Anonymous said...

Why do Freds always repair their bikes in the middle of the fucking bike path?

Fredo said...

47 Traitors

Cipo said...

When Sarah reaches Italy, my toilet has started to make a high pitched howling noise while the tank refills.

Please have her come over and check it out.

Mario Cippollini
Via C. Battisti 13
Lucca, Italy

ken e. said...

morse code, awesomest quiz question ever!

ken e. said...

i'm just here for the dirt.

not the audi dirt.

babble on said...

Be the revolution...Isn't that a catchy little catch phrase! It works for me, for sure. And our bike share is so far from a go that I hope Spinlister comes here sooner than later, too.
If you're a Canadian and you're swearing, you'd better not be in Taber, Alberta, cause you could end up behind bars. Not allowed to let your kids out past curfew, either, and you coukd be arrested for hanging with three of your friends, too. I Shit You Not.
And I don't need your help doing the doo doo, thank you, though of course any and all bulges are appreciated and carefully inspected. For safety's sake. Well, that's my story, anyway; and I'm sticking to it.

Name: I had it a minute ago. Wait! Forget it. said...

Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot

Grump said...

Two thoughts..

1) Rental bikes......One size fits all??

2) Documentary about bicycle messengers........
We need a mockcumentary about bicycle messengers...(but then I thought, weren't all doccumentaries about bicycle messengers, really mockcumentaries??????)





AnceLay RmstrongAay said...

I have it on good authority that the UCI has forced Peter Sagan to attend the 'Cipo Institute of Feminine Appreciation.' First class. Proper Podium Princess Palping 101.

May lob be with you.

trama said...

@bieks 3:37 and 3:38,

cunts. Bicycling mag I mean.

It was a matter of timing, always a little trepidation when leaving a known good area of stunted trees and bushes, scanning the road for the next poop stand. The herds of laughing children running alongside didn't help either, I mean, it would have been a true spectacle and delight for them, but not for me.

Anonymous said...

Snob, how did you let the daily news get the scoop on this one. http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/cyclist-flies-head-first-bike-spectator-grabs-tire-article-1.2148113

Bogusboy said...

At last!!!!! The solution to my problem of chronic idler pulley breakage! And they're two grams lighter!

O perfect bliss!

BamaPhred said...

Shazaam! Conti/GatorSkin shedding is a thing? I blamed the cat for using my tires for a scratching post. But they don't go flat, so I don't care.

McFly said...

Fenders are awesome.

Anonymous said...

a) Ashley is a guy?
b) Aren't your friends at Brooks going to be mad you didn't say anything about Sarah's saddle?

A. Roachclip said...

Ashley Roachclip of the Jefferson Hair Pie?

Who said...

Who is counting

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

I didn't have time to digest the dejecta disquisition delivered by Bicycling so my dog summarized it for me:

If you've never fucked, shit.
But if you've never shit, fuck!

I think he's paraphrasing George Carlin, but what do I know.

Still not funding his Kickstarter scheme to repurpose errant continental tire threads as hair extensions.

Michael said...

I had a similar exposed thread turn into a proper bulge. I think it was on straight with normal-ish pressure.

Anonymous said...

I've had a proper bulge turn into exposed head.....

Dr Long Fingers said...

Morning scranus massage therapy time

McFly said...

Came in a did a little of the Saturday work cuz it's raining anyway what to do what to do when I get off OHH THAT'S RIGHT I GOT SOME SWEET ASS PLANET BIKE 35 MM HARDCORE FENDERS BEECHEZ...I shall ride.

Iron Member said...

Euro (Dutch?) commercial ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KShkhIXdf1Y&feature=youtu.be

Anonymous said...

I was sooo waiting for the conti tire to blow off the rim and see him recoil like a fart to the face

DB said...

Snob:
Is Putin at your place?
Can't find him.

Dooth said...

That Conti tire hater doesn't know how to properly mount a tire...probably not the only thing he can't properly mount.

Anonymous said...

It is porning rain

bonzodog said...

In days of old
With wheelmen bold
And toilets not invented
They dropped their load
Beside the road
And rode away contented.

Peter 'Power Palp' Sagan said...

I'm starting a petition ...

CHANGE URANUS TO SCRANUS

THIS DRUNKEN ASTRONOMER JOKE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!

YOUR ANUS IS PORNOLOGICAL AND MUST BE CHANGED!

SPARE THE CHILDREN!

Anonymous said...

50 shades of poo

dop said...

I think Putin's on the Ritz

The 'REAL' Cipo said...

The Vaginal Equinox is almost here ...


Non è la natura meravigliosa.

Cayetano Sánchez said...

Atention bikers in Spain: Trampas Salvajes contra Ciclistas: http://youtu.be/g-rsBMT9_dU

dop said...

uno

dop said...

dos

dop said...

tres

dop said...

love the new captcha

dop said...

Mr. Sanchez, those were damn scary.

babble on said...

Right?! There's a war going on in them thar hills. Thank goodness for CCTV, cause you never know whose little ole granny is out to getcha.

dockworker said...

I'm on the regional Fred Ride spectacular, because, you know, the inner Fred has got to get a day in the sun.

Someone has a flat on the side of the road one of the hills and as I'm grinding along the climb says out loud, "It's a good thing there is an iphone to explain how to change a flat."

There was another who apparently did not know how to operate a pump. He emptied his CO2 thing-a-majig some KM's back and did not have the tire seated right. As I roll up on him riding along and coasting and ducking down to look at his front tire every once in a while because he's feeling bump-bump-bump as the KM's go by. I offered my pump to get the tire reseated right because no more Fredly CO2 but he would not use it. ????

Also witnessed a whole flock of Carmichael doping system riders in full Carmichael, it's not doping unless you are on the lawsuit, doping kit, with special doping support in addition to the ride's rest stops.

I am missing out on a tonne of money! Let me dope your children and then I'll promise to coach you to cat 6 glory on your local Fred ride.

This Carmichael business is crazy. It's the equivalent of a Madhoff IRA account.

Only in cycling!

M. Indurian said...

Human is great! I especially enjoy the bone marrow.

Dream Policeman MacDouche' said...

AND THE 'I WAS ONLY HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND' CONTEST WINNER IS

This from January 22, 2015 ...

Updated: Rasmussen testimony implicates Mario Zorzoli, UCI’s chief medical officer
Read more at http://velonews.competitor.com/2015/01/news/rasmussen-testimony-implicates-mario-zorzoli-ucis-chief-medical-officer_359005#z2B47OxCkovmtiE7.99

JLRB said...

What's the best fixie? Fixie of the sea.

Sorry Charlie ...

JLRB said...

Bikecycling on the radio in DC this morning ... Shocking - people like to be protected from cars

Tuning into the “network”

When Mike DeVoll, 28, moved to Washington four years ago to work as a political consultant, he started commuting by bus. He soon tried Capital Bikeshare, which turned out to be his “gateway drug” to buying his own bike.

But what clinched his decision to commute by bicycle was the completion of the M Street Northwest cycle track, which cuts west through downtown and connects with the 15th Street Northwest cycle track.

He uses both protected lanes daily to get from his home in Logan Circle to Arlington. “It makes it hard not to ride to work because you are protected the whole way,” DeVoll said.

“My girlfriend’s office is moving to right off M Street. She is not a bike for transportation person at all, but she is starting to say she might try it because there is a protected lane there,” he said.

A national survey by the advocacy group PeopleForBikes underscored the importance of feeling safe in encouraging bicycling.

Fifty-four percent of U.S. adults said bicycling was a convenient way of getting around and 53 percent would like to ride more often, the survey said. However, more than half feared being hit by a car and forty-six percent said they would be more likely to ride a bicycle if they were physically separated from traffic.

“One in three Americans rode a bike last year, so the question is why aren't those people riding bikes for transportation? The number one concern is safety. People just don't feel safe riding on the street,” said Greg Billing at the Washington Area Bicyclist Association (WABA), an advocacy group.

Riyan Cilacap said...

Thank You Verry Much, Ijin nitip gan dan trimaksih atas infonya

Obat Sakit Kelamin De Nature
Pengobatan Kutil Kelamin
Cara Mengobati Kutil Kelamin
Kutil Kelamin
Obat Kutil Kelamin
Obat Condyloma
Obat Jengger Ayam
Obat Sipilis
Obat Gonore
Obat Raja Singa
Obat Kencing Nanah
Obat Chlamydia
Obat Herpes
Obat Herpes Genital
Obat Herpes Kelamin
Obat Herpes Zoster
Obat Herpes Badan
Obat Jengger Ayam
Obat Kutil Kelamin
Obat Kondiloma
Obat Condyloma Accuminata
Obat Jengger Ayam Pria Dan Wanita
Obat Kutil Kelamin Pada Pria Dan Wanita